Woman's Brain

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10 Things Every Man Should Know about a Woman's Brain

August 31, 2010 by batman

She loves risk during the mature years

Once The Change has finished, and the body moves into its “advanced” stage, the
female brain gets a second wind. While men start to show increased interest in
relationships as they age, the mature woman becomes ready to risk conflict
¾ especially if her nest is now empty.

She may continue to feel motivated to help others, but her focus might shift from her
immediate family to local and global communities. She may also feel a strong desire to do
more for herself, and her career, after decades of caretaking, explains Brizendine.

Whether she sows her newly wild oats with whirlwind travel, going back to school, or by playing
the field depends on the individual, of course. But for many 50-plus women the twilight years are
characterized by an increased “zest” for life and a hearty appetite for adventure.

She goes through adolescence twice

No one wants to go through adolescence again. Its physical changes and hormonal
fluctuations not only create mood swings and physical discomfort but nagging questions
about self-identity as well.

Women, however, lucky girls, get to do just that. They go through a “second adolescence” called
perimenopause in their 40s. It starts around age 43 and reaches its pinnacle by 47 or 48
years old. (Men’s hormones also change as they age, but not nearly as abruptly.) In
addition to erratic periods and night sweats, a woman’s hormones during this transition
are so crazed she can be as moody as a teenager.

The duration of perimenopause varies from two to nine years, with most women leaving it
behind by age 52.

She is affected by mommy brain

The physical, hormonal, emotional and social changes facing a woman directly after giving
birth can be monumental. “And because everything else has changed, she needs everything
else to be as predictable as possible, including the husband,” Brizendine said.

Over the course of evolution, it was rare for our maternal ancestors to be full-time mothers, said
Brizendine, because there was always kin-folk around to help with child rearing. And a
mother needs a lot of support, not only for her own sake but for the child’s as well. Her
ability to adequately respond to her infant can impact the child’s developing nervous
system and temperament, research shows.

One way Mother Nature tries to help is through breastfeeding. Nursing may help women deal with
some types of stress, studies suggest. (Too much stress, however, can disrupt lactation.) One
study even found that breastfeeding might be more rewarding to the female brain than
cocaine. The research was published in the Journal of Neuroscience in 2005.

She is affected by pregnant brain

Progesterone increases 30-fold in the first eight weeks of pregnancy, causing most
women to become very sedated, Brizendine said. “Progesterone is a great sleeping pill.”

A woman’s brain also shrinks during pregnancy, becoming about 4-percent smaller by the
time she delivers, according to a 2002 study published in the American Journal of
Neuroradiology. (Don’t worry; it returns to normal size by six months after delivery.)

Whether pregnancy causes women to think differently is controversial — one recent study
linked memory problems to pregnancy hormones — but some researchers have
suggested the changes prepare brain circuits that guide maternal behavior.

These circuits likely continue to develop after birth. Handling a baby releases maternal
hormones, even among females who have never been pregnant, found researchers at Tufts
University. While measured in rats, the finding offers a chemical understanding of the bonding
that can occur among foster moms and children.

The study was published in the journal Developmental Psychobiology in 2004.

She is easily turned off

“A women’s sex drive is much more easily upset than a guy’s,” Brizendine said.

For women to get in the mood, and especially to have an orgasm, certain areas of her
brain have to shut off. And any number of things can turn them back on.

A woman may refuse a man’s advances because she is angry, feeling distrustful — or even,
because her feet are chilly, studies show. Pregnancy, caring for small children and
menopause can also take a toll on a woman’s sex drive (although some women experience
a renewed interest in sex after The Change.)

Best advice for a turned-on dude? Plan ahead.

“For guys, foreplay is everything that happens three minutes before insertion. For women,
it is everything that happens 24 hours beforehand,” Brizendine said.

She avoids aggression

Stressful situations are known to spur the “fight or flight” response in men, but researchers have
suggested that women, after sensing a threat, instinctually try to “tend or befriend.” That is,
they skirt physical responses in favor of forming strategic, even manipulative, alliances.

Women may have evolved to avoid physical aggression because of the greater dependence of
children on their survival, suggests Anne Campbell of Durham University. (In ancient hunter-
gatherer days, men only needed to do the deed to spread their genes, while women had to stay
alive long enough to birth and raise the young.)
“It is not that females are not aggressive, it is that they are aggressive in different ways,” said
evolutionary psychologist Daniel Kruger of the University of Michigan. They tend to use more
indirect forms of confrontation, he told LiveScience.

She responds to pain and anxiety differently

Brain-imaging studies over the last 10 years have shown that male and female brains respond
differently to pain and fear. And, women’s brains may be the more sensitive of the two.

The female brain is not only more responsive to small amounts of stress but is less able to
habituate to high levels of stress, said Debra Bangasser of the Children’s Hospital of
Philadelphia, describing her recent research looking at molecular changes in the brain.
Bangasser’s research was conducted in rats but is considered potentially applicable to humans.

Stress sensitivity may have some benefits; it shifts one’s mental state from being narrowly
focused to being more flexibly and openly aware. But if the anxiety is prolonged, it can be
damaging. Such findings may help explain why women are more prone to depression, post-
traumatic stress disorder and other anxiety disorders, the researchers told LiveScience.

The research was published in the June 2010 issue of Molecular Psychiatry.

She hates conflict (but lack of response even more)

Women may also have evolved extra-sensitivity to interpersonal cues as a way to avoid
conflict, a state that can feel intolerable to women, according to Brizendine. The flood of
chemicals that takes over the female brain during a conflict — especially within an intimate
relationship — is almost on the same order as a seizure, she explains.

Possibly because of their overachievement in “mind reading,” women often find blank
expressions, or a lack of response, completely unbearable. A young girl will go to great
lengths trying to get a response from a mime while a boy will not be nearly so determined,
Brizendine said. For females in particular, a negative response may be better than no
response at all.

She really is intuitive (though not magic)

Men can have the uncomfortable feeling that women are mind readers or psychics, Brizendine
said. But women’s intuition is likely more biological than mystical.

Over the course of evolution, women may have been selected for their ability to keep young
preverbal humans alive, which involves deducing what an infant or child needs — warmth,
food, discipline — without it being directly communicated. This is one explanation for why
women consistently score higher than men on tests that require reading nonverbal cues.
Women not only better remember the physical appearances of others but also more
correctly identify the unspoken messages conveyed in facial expressions, postures and
tones of voice, studies show.

This skill, however, is not limited to childrearing. Women often use it tell what bosses,
husbands and even strangers are thinking and planning.
She changes every day based on her cycle

Affecting up to 80 percent of women, PMS is a familiar scapegoat. But women are affected
by their cycles every day of the month. Hormone levels are constantly changing in a
woman’s brain and body, changing her outlook, energy and sensitivity along with them.

About 10 days after the onset of menstruation, right before ovulation, women often feel sassier,
Brizendine told LiveScience. Unconsciously, they dress sexier as surges in estrogen and
testosterone prompt them to look for sexual opportunities during this particularly fertile
period.

A week later, there is a rise in progesterone, the hormone that mimics valium, making
women “feel like cuddling up with a hot cup of tea and a good book,” Brizendine said. The
following week, progesterone withdrawal can make women weepy and easily irritated. “We
call it crying over dog commercials crying,” Brizendine said.

For most women, their mood reaches its worst 12-24 hours before their period starts. “It is
not entirely an issue of free will,” Brizendine stressed.

==
ear Men,

There are some things you should know about us women.

Sometimes we cry for no reason. It's part of our hormonal make-up. It doesn't mean you did
anything wrong; it just means that, after drenching our skirts in coffee this morning, then bombing
on our work presentation this afternoon, spilling that dish of jelly beans was simply the straw that
broke the camel's back.

On the same note, we also like to vent. Just vent. Simple as that. You see, Suzy from work gets
on our nerves sometimes. (We don't know what we did to offend her, but she seems to actively
seek out opportunities to make us look bad in front of the boss.) We don't need you to fix our
problems. Just let us tell you what they are. Then, feel free to give us a big hug. That's all we
really want. 5 Ways to Prevent Communication Breakdowns

Oh, and it sounds cliché, but spiders tend to freak us out. A lot. We know it's ridiculous (we are,
after all, the reigning roller derby queen and/or a top financial executive, with million-dollar
budgets at our disposal), but those suckers give us the creeps, so if you could dispose of them for
us and not make a big deal out of it, that would be awesome. Thanks.

Speaking of irrational fears, we'd rather not make the first move. We know it's a pain, but we just
feel more confident when you do the asking out. So please, take some initiative and put us out of
the misery we're experiencing due to the unfulfilled mutual lust we feel crackling and popping
between us.

Also, we love it when you call us... to tell us you had a good time on our date... to talk about that
gig you played last Friday night... to ask us out again... Stop with the games. If we suspect you're
playing by the three-day rule, you're going to lose points. The three-day rule is lame.

If you're not that into us, let us know. We can handle it, and we'd rather you not waste our
precious time. After all, we have an increasingly deafening biological clock to contend with. Yes, it
will hurt when you break up with us, but we'd rather not be caught in a relationship for two years if
you knew after two months that you didn't see it going anywhere. How To Stop Worrying About
Your Biological Clock

Here's the deal with grand gestures: They're nice. We won't object if you take us on a surprise
weekend getaway, buy us that expensive necklace we always notice through the shop window or
shower the house in rose petals. But really, none of that is necessary. We love the little things
most. Bringing us Starbucks at work on your day off? Heroic gesture. You will be rewarded. We
will be stoked.

Fact: Most of us like sparkly diamonds. So long as they are conflict-free, what's not to like? That
doesn't mean we actually expect you to buy us a platinum-banded, princess-cut diamond in a
Tiffany's box. Or that we expect a ring six weeks into our relationship. So you can relax. Breathe.
We will consult you when we we start fantasizing about taking "till death do us part" vows with
you—or will at least drop obvious hints. 9 Signs You Should Make Him Engagement Chicken

Another fun fact: Most of us find babies adorable. We can't help it. It's our maternal instinct. This
particular characteristic will cause us to point out those cute, toothless smiles and little, chubby
cheeks to an annoying extent. That doesn't mean we want to chase a toddler right now. We will
consult you when we start fantasizing about nurseries and giraffe-emblazoned onesies—or will at
least drop obvious hints.

Just so you know, we're not comparing you to that guy we dated. And you shouldn't either. We're
with you now, not with him, so you've already won. Also...

We tend to over-analyze. OK, we always over-analyze. For example... After a date, you say: "I
had a great time tonight." Our thoughts: "Did he really? Was that a slight inflection in his tone?
Did I sense apathy? Should I suggest a second date? Maybe he will. Maybe he'll just call
tomorrow. Maybe he won't call at all. Maybe I'll never see him again. What does 'I had a great
time' really mean? Does it mean he was actually bored the whole time? Did he enjoy himself?
What is it with the mind games?!" If possible, we would appreciate it if you got even more direct
with us. An "I had a great time tonight" followed by an "If you're free, I would love to get together
again next Thursday" would basically be a minor miracle for us.

Another thing we like? Chivalry. Opening doors, walking street-side, etc. In fact, we think it's really
sexy. But we live in a feminist world, and that's cool, too. We can take care of ourselves. We don't
need you to lift a box of pillows or pick up every tab... You get the picture. Is Chivalry Dead? 5
Men Discuss

But still, we want to feel feminine, beautiful and safe. Knowing that you can, and would, protect us
from pretty much anything really turns us on. In fact, we're so crazy about you that we're pretty
sure you could save the world if you wanted to. We hold you in high regard. Really. Show us that
you feel the same way about us: that we're the most amazing women on the planet. We'd like to
know. We're sappy and romantic in that way.

But, hey. We can still tie our shoes, and do any number of other complex, Herculean things.
Remember that. You know, in case you need some help when it comes to saving the world.

Yours truly,
Women

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women/page/2

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