Princess Tuna

and the Big

Decision
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess who lived in a
castle high up in the mountains overlooking an enchanted land of
drifting clouds and singing cuckoos.  Her name was Princess Tuna
and she lived with her elderly father and mother who were the
King and Queen of this wonderful land. But Princess Tuna was
not a happy girl, she had no brothers or sisters and was often very
lonely and bored. She would spend hours just staring out of the
castle windows, dropping stones into the moat, or firing them at
the cuckoos using a jewel-encrusted and powerful catapult. 

And that would have been her life, were it not for the fateful day
that the King was accidentally struck by one of her missiles.
Rubbing his painful butt, the King decided that it was high time
she not only had her sight tested, but found a husband.  At this
suggestion, Princess Tuna perked up a bit, and went to tidy her
bedroom. That evening, with the help of the Queen, the King
worked out a plan to help the princess find the best person for the
job.  It would be an important choice too because, one day, they
would become king and queen of Cloud Cuckoo land.

The plan was to invite three princes from nearby states to visit the
castle on different dates and spend a day entertaining their
daughter. They could bring anything which they thought might
interest her, but they were not to talk about their latest carriages or
the football.  When she had met each of the three princes, she
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could then choose the one who would become her husband.
Following a royal proclamation throughout the region, three
young princes were invited to take part in this competition. Their
names were Johann, Sebastian and Bach.

When Prince Johann arrived at the castle, he was stunned by the

beauty of the young princess. Indeed, it took him several minutes
to recover. He had brought with him a collection of silver objects
to show her. There were goblets, plates, trays, candlesticks, tea
sets, knives, spoons, forks, toothpicks and so on. He explained
how the marks on the objects could be used to discover where and
when they were made.  He had even brought a little tin of silver
polish and a duster with him and together they polished up some
of the silverware until it shone. Afterwards, he wrapped each item
in tissue paper and carefully placed it back into a large box which
he locked with a silver key. When he left the castle, Princess Tuna
spent quite a lot of time washing her hands.

When Prince Sebastian arrived at the castle, he too was stunned by

the beauty of the princess. Indeed, it took him several minutes to
recover as well. He had brought with him a collection of golden
objects for her to admire. There were all kinds of things made of
gold including rings, necklaces chains, clocks, watches and coins.
He explained how the marks on the objects could be used to
discover where and when they were made. Princess Tuna was
even more impressed when he showed her some of his gold teeth. 
He explained that gold was worth a whole lot more than silver and
it had made him incredibly rich. He presented her a large gold ring
as a souvenir of his visit.

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Prince Bach arrived on a bicycle. Although he was stunned by the
beauty of the princess, unlike the other two, he didn’t stand there
panting like a dog with his tongue hanging out. He carried a large
bag of marbles with him. He showed her that if she looked up at
the sun through them, all kinds of wonderful colours could be seen
sparkling against the sky. He then taught her how to play marbles
and they spent several happy hours together rolling them down the
grand staircase and along the floors of the castle. She learnt what a
‘shooter’ was and how to ‘knuckle down’. He even fired one or
two marbles at the cuckoos with that catapult and told her lots of
amusing stories. It was a wonderful afternoon; one which she
would remember for many years to come.

‘Well,’ asked the King, after Prince Bach had left, ‘Which one of
these fine young men will you choose as your husband?’

‘Oh, Papa,’ replied Princess Tuna, ‘I need some time to think

about it but I’ll let you know the moment I have reached my
decision.’  With that, she retired to her bedroom to drop more
stones into the moat, and give more thought to the matter.  Her
whole future, and that of Cloud Cuckoo land, now depended on a
decision that must not be made in haste.

The next morning, at breakfast, she announced her choice to her

parents. ‘I have spent a sleepless night giving this decision so
much thought. There was a lot to admire in each of these young
men, and I thank you for inviting them to the castle. I have
thought deeply about each one of them, but I have to be honest
and say that there is only one for me. I will be his bride and we
shall all live happily ever after.'

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‘Let me guess,’ said the Queen, hardly able to suppress her
excitement. ‘I have a feeling that we can rule out Prince Johann
and his silver collection. We were not prying but we couldn’t help
overhearing what you said about him while you were washing
your hands in the bathroom after his visit.’ Princess Tuna blushed
at the memory but kept a dignified silence. It was not having to
polish the cutlery that had disturbed her, it was the way he drooled
over it.

‘Yes,’ agreed the King, ‘And I think we can probably rule out
Prince Sebastian, because all he seemed to do was boast about his
vast wealth and his enormous collection of gold objects. And how
could you bear to put your hand in his mouth?’

‘So, my dear,’ continued the Queen, ‘It looks as if it is to be Prince

Bach because we know you both had such a wonderful time
together.’  The King and Queen smiled lovingly at their beloved
daughter; parents have a way of knowing these things.

‘On the contrary,’ retorted Princess Tuna, ‘I thought he was a

complete loser. What would I be doing with a guy who still plays
marbles at his age? No, my choice is the one with the gold teeth.
What was his name again?’

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Mudsailor (c) 2011