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In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work.

Some
people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as
valuable work experience, important for learning and taking
responsibility. What is your opinion on this?

In the Third World, children are usually sent to factories for labor work. Many
people believe that is merely exploitation, while others think it is good
opportunities for them to have life experience. In any case, children have their
right to live and study in peaceful conditions. Therefore, using them as labor
force is considered an unacceptable action.

First of all, children are not workers. They have just known about the vast
world and do not have any experiences as well as conceptions about working.
Since these innocent children are naive and lack of life experiences, they are
easily cheated and exploited. There are a lot of examples about this in poor
nations. Because using children is cheap and easily to control, many enterprises
hire them with a little money paid. Although the government in these countries
has tried their best, this kind of taking advantage of children cannot be
eliminated.

Moreover, children do not need such things called �valuable work


experience� or �important for learning and taking responsibility�. The brief
responsibility of children is learning. They are not old enough to understand
what working experiences are. Nevertheless, they can help parents do chores or
housework. This will be much better way for them to become more responsible
forfamily. In addition, childhood is one of the most remarkable memories and
must not be taken by forcing them to work.

In conclusion, since all children are the great concern of parent and society,
they should be allowed to enjoy life and educated rather than encouraging
them to work. Hence, one must ponder what view is actually appropriate for the
sake of children.

This is a good essay. It covers the task, the paragraphs are coherent, the
sentences are well-structured and the vocabulary is adequate. However a
little structural change in the paragraphs is required � first make the point
(such as “Some say that children should learn about earning money” and
then oppose to it “However, children can not be compared to adult
workers”). Also, there were some inaccuracies (see comments underlined in
blue). Overall, looks like a Band 6.5 essay.

Getting involved in a paid work among children is a debated issue in many


countries today. Some people oppose strongly with this idea as it may affect the
normal development of children while others claim that this could bring children a
plenty of benefits for their future career. From my point of view, I believe that
taking a paid job may do children more good than harm for several reasons.
The first and most important point is that children who involve in a job will be
much independent and responsible than those who do not work. Undoubtedly,
children have the conscious of earning money seriously by their own effort to
cover their education tuition and personal expense. Moreover, as the job's
demand, children would certainly be in charge of specific tasks with a proper
deadline and outcome. Thereafter, children have to try their best to take
responsibility for their tasks given by the boss. That is the way for them to be
more mature than their peer.
Secondly, children who involve in working would possible accumulate much more
life experience than their friends. The jobs require children different skills to deal
effectively with their tasks such as time, relationship or conflict management.
These skills promise them a good preparation for the future career. Additionally,
these busy children would probably have a wide circle of friends than their peers.
These relationships may become their comparative advantage for them in all
walks of life ahead.
Despite these benefits, some people oppose strongly this trend. They say that a
paid work may do harm on children's academic results because the time and the
concentration for learning is stolen by the job. Admittedly, it is true in some
extent but doing a job brings about more valuable skills which can help children
boost up their learning achievement. Thanks to the time management or
organizing skill, children who work can arrange their time better, digest new
knowledge better. As the result, a good performance on study will surely be much
improved.
From all reasons above, I strongly believe that a paid job would certainly benefit
children in many aspects. However, children should be advised to choose a
suitable job which can do those tiny workers more good than harm. Additionally,
adults should pay more attention to their children to make sure that their beloved
babies are on the right track of balance between working and learning.

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people
regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work
experiencem important for learning and taking resposiblily. What are your
opinions in this?

Recentely, some young children in developed countries get involved in the


employment markets or self-employment by opening websites and even the
Youtube. Some educational experts argue that children need to recieve the proper
education the be good citizens. However, others insist that working in the early
age can be beneficail for young children as an educational aspect. In regard to
this issue, I srongly stand by the opinion that the poper education should be
necessary for children before getting involved in the employment activites.
First of all, early employment for children could be advantageous in some ways.
Firstly, they can be more resposible of their tasks in work places, which is a
prerequisite to be a good citizen. Secondly, they can be independent financially
from their patents so that they can gain the ability of management their incom,
rather than recieving pocket money and spend it. Besides, they can have
distinguished career with the profound working experiences when they are just
the 20's.
On the other hand, we cannot underestimate the importance of education for
children. It is common to hear that children have an unlimited potentiality on the
ability. That is to say, they can be doctors, artists or judges in the courts if they
are well educated. Furthermore, there is no boubt that the education make better
citizen, which means they can learn social manners, morals and social duties,
which are the important prerequisites for good citizens, through the education in
the schools. Moreover, children are not likely to be mature enough to manage
their income. Therefore, there is no guerantee that then can be fanacially
independent.
In conclusion, whether working in the early age has advantages or not is the
matter of two sides in the same coin. However, as mentioned previousely,
educating children outweigh putting then into working areas. Therefore,there is a
need for us to consider that growing children to handymen, rather than to
scientists and doctors is a sound way to contribute on this education-demanded
society.

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people
regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work
experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion
on this?

Nowadays, many children involved in different types of jobs to have some kind of
financial assurance for themselves. However, whether this is good for their development
and personality is a much debatable issue. I personally believe that paid works is harmful
for children for several reasons.

It is said that children learn valuable experience in the work place. This may be true.
However, I would argue that children are mainly employed for jobs that require manual
work and are low paid. The recent statistic reveals the common tasks that children are
assigned are washing dishes, cleaning floors or serving food in restaurants. Meanwhile,
this kind of jobs actually do not provide children with necessary and useful skills so that
they can apply in their future carrer.

This brings me to the second point. Defenders of child work argues that it is an effective
method of learning. The point is children should be able to apply knowledge taught to
them in a real life working environment. Although this is undoubtedly true, it also means
that children may neglect the classroom study and even fail the class. The worst thing is
yet to come. They may become so occupied with the benefits ahead of them like small
salary and leave school.

Finally, supporters said that it helps them to build responsibility in the family. They will
understand how it is difficult to earn money and therefore have a compassionate view
with their parents. This is true to a certain extent, but may have a totally adverse effect on
children. As children can make money at an early age, they would feel that it is
appropriate to spend on luxury things by their own money, which could be recovered
later.

In conclusion, I think that parents should take measures to restrict their child to work,
otherwise it would have a negative consequences on their futures.
This is a great essay, Band 7+ candidate. My only suggestion is to divide your
arguments so that you have 2 paragraphs covering arguments “against” and one
covering arguments “for” or vise versa. Don’t mix “for” and “against” in one
paragraph.

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