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Hungry or guarded
(Seth's Blog) homeless person, doesn't answer a actively protecting themselves, because one approach won't work on
request from the petition-signer and guarding against interruption or a the other type of person.
Submitted at 4/21/2011 4:40:00 AM certainly doesn't help a Boy Scout mistake or worse. [PS the mindset can (and does)
The hungry person at the all you can with that old lady. How can you possibly have a change as people go through their
eat buffet is happy to take one more And this is precisely the dichotomy strategy about what you're going to day. At the bookstore she might be
item. She doesn't spend a lot of time every cause, every candidate and do next until you determine which hungry for a new idea, and just a few
comparing this to that, or saying 'no every marketer faces. mindset you're marketing to? minutes later, at the bus stop, she
thank you' or avoiding certain items. Either you're selling to people who Here's the key truth: in any given wants to be alone...]
If it's interesting, "sure I'll try a little are hungry for what you offer, who moment, in any given situation, a
bit. I can always come back." are open to hearing what you have to person is either hungry or guarded.
The guarded person walking down say, who are fans... You need to decide which sort of
the street avoids eye contact with the Or you're selling to people who are person you'll be telling your story to,
2
Cranking
(43 Folders) Pacific Time. And I didn't have time
to think about my family. Not now,
Submitted at 4/22/2011 4:38:56 PM
fitted into an overlit semi-private She's my favorite part of the bed. right? No, I had to keep working. I
1. room in the highly-regarded Jewish To my knowledge, our modest but had to stay in that other building and
Nothing wrecks your living room Hospital located on E. Galbraith very comfortable bed is not fitted keep typing bullshit that I hoped
decor quite like a giant, rented Road. We weren't Jewish. We were with a shitty little crank. Which is would please my editor. Who is
hospital bed. just sick. nice for everyone. awesome.
The one my Dad laid in for a couple Frankly, I forget what the crank on And, every single morning at almost So, I'd type and type. I'd crank and
months in the fall of 1974 was an the second hospital bed looked like, exactly 6:00 AM Pacific Time, my crank. I'd try and try. I'd want very
alarmingly stiff and sturdy affair, the but I seem to recall that it worked three-year-old daughter wakes up, much to go home, make hot milk, and
frame of which was forged of just fine. jumps out of her crank-free, regular, watch Toy Story 2. So much, I'd want
impossibly heavy iron, with half a This was maybe a week before my big-girl bed, tears out of her regular this. 6.
dozen jaggy coats of putty-flesh latex Dad died. bedroom, and--even before she gets Anyhow, this has been my on-and-
paint doing a shit job of concealing From what I can gather, he and my her hot milk or takes off her pull-up off job for the past two years. I type.
the dings and dents kissed by dozens Mom had wanted to time things so or tells us to turn on Toy Story 2--she And, I try to type things that will help
of clutches of burly rental guys that I could be with him as long and dashes into our regular bedroom, runs and comfort people, but mostly I try
trying to navigate unaccommodating as late as possible--but not so late that up to our regular non-hospital bed, to type things that will please my
residential doors. I'd have to see him in the kind of and screams, " DAD-dy! DAD-dy! editor. Who is awesome.
Jammed cattywampus between a condition I have to assume he was in DAD-dy!" until I wake up and say, Sometimes I do my job at 6:00 AM
teddy-bear brown sectional, an during the full week he was too ill for "G'mornin', Sweet Bug! Did you have Pacific Time. Sometimes I do my job
antiqued rococo credenza, and what his boy to visit him. Pretty bad nice sleeps?" at 5:30 PM or 11:30 AM or really any
had until recently been my Father's condition, I'm guessing. Sometimes she tells me whether or time in between. Sometimes I do my
favorite armchair, the hospital bed In the almost forty years since Dad's not she had nice sleeps. Often as not job while my family goes to birthday
left little room for easy socializing, last week in any hospital bed, my lately, she tells me to make her hot parties and holiday dinners and a
let alone aesthetic speculation. This Mom and I haven't talked much about milk and turn on Toy Story 2. Both of couple vacations and I don't even
was a living room where a very ill it. If there are things to say about that which I'm totally fine with. know how many (non-Shakey's)
person would mostly die soon. week, I'm not sure even forty years is Thing is, she screams " DAD-dy!" pizza nights--all without me. Without
The hospital bed's defining feature long enough to prep for them. I know like the most impossibly great thing Dad.
was the theoretical ease with which I'm still not ready. I should ask my in the world has just happened. Every In fact, a depressing amount of the
the human trunk slumped in its top Mom if she's ready. She was forty single morning. Right by my bed. time--really up until this week--I
half could be raised or lowered by then. Just under half her life ago. Without a crank in sight. would do my job until I hadn't the
turning a shitty little crank at the foot What I do know is my Mom lived by And, you know what? Something slightest idea what time it was or
of its lower half. Like the bed itself, that second hospital bed most every impossibly great has happened. what bullshit I was typing or what my
the shitty little crank was ugly and minute of Dad's last week. Just like Because an annoying, rambling, crank was ever meant to be attached
obtrusive and hard to live with. Mom she'd been by the first hospital bed in disagreeable little man like me gets to to in the first place.
and I tripped over the crank a lot. her living room for the months have this alarm clock in piggy- But, even when my shitty little crank
The theoretically useful but before. Only now she was the one patterned footie jammies run up to a was not attached to anything, I did
ultimately shitty little crank made the sleeping on the wrong bed. There are regular, crank-less, healthy-Dad, non keep cranking. Because, Dads do
hospital bed look like those old-timey limits to the physical comforts you -hospital bed and make him feel like their job. It's what they do.
cars we'd see in the bad silent movies can offer a woman who's determined he's The Greatest Thing in the They crank. They crank and crank
they showed down at Shakey's Pizza. to stay by her husband's second Universe. and crank and crank.
Mom and Dad despised the saltines- hospital bed until it's time. Just like I think she's The Greatest Sometimes the cranking made
and-ketchup style of pizza served at But she was there that whole time. Thing in the Universe. something special that will be really
Shakey's. To them, LaRosa's over on Up to the last time my sweet Dad Just like I thought my Dad was The useful to people who badly need the
Cheviot had way better pizza plus a ever said anything to anyone. Greatest Thing in the Universe. comfort and help. But, a staggering
pretty good jukebox. But, I really As he laid in that second hospital And, although I'm confident that I amount of the time, my cranking has
liked Shakey's. They gave away cool bed, I'm told that the last thing my will always think my daughter is The produced joyless and unemotional
styrofoam boater hats with a red Dad said to anyone was something he Greatest Thing in the Universe, I'm bullshit that couldn't comfort, help, or
paper band that said, "Shakey's Pizza said to my Mom. He told my Mom: also all too aware that this feeling please anyone. Especially my editor.
Parlor." Which I thought looked Take care of The Big Guy. will not always be reciprocated in Who is awesome. There's no point in
smashing. So, they used to take me to That was me. I was "The Big Guy." quite that same way or with quite that doing anything if it doesn't eventually
Shakey's. My Dad always called me "Big Guy," same enthusiasm that we both enjoy please my editor. Who is awesome.
In practice, the hospital bed's shitty and I always loved when he said that. right now. This has constantly hung over my
little crank functioned mostly as a It made me feel strong. It made me She won't always run to my bed in head. For two fucking years.
recalcitrant and pinch-inducing feel tall. It made me know that my footie jammies. But, this has been my job. It's a job I
mechanism for eroding my father's Dad and I were best pals. I'll only get that particularly noisy often did late. It's a job I often did
dignity. I still love knowing I was my Dad's and personalized wake-up call for a poorly. And, it's a job where I often
Dad would lay in the hospital bed best pal. 3. little while. And, I only get a shot at it didn't pull my load or live up to even
that filled our living room while my I don't specifically remember the day once a day. At almost exactly 6:00 my own expectations and standards.
Mom slowly cranked. He'd try to our particular clutch of burly rental AM Pacific Time. Which is far from my editor's fault.
make jokes. (Dad had always been guys came out to remove the first Then one day? I won't get it any She's been awesome. 7.
the funniest person any of his friends hospital bed from our living room. I more. It will be gone. 5. Anyhow, I've tried to do my job. But,
knew.) The hospital bed creaked. do remember thinking it was weird Many mornings over the past six I've often failed.
Mom cranked. Dad's tired upper half how quickly the space filled with months or so, at almost exactly 6:00 I've sometimes failed to make things
would haltingly rise and bob with huge floral arrangements, covered AM Pacific Time, I was not in my that will help and comfort people.
reluctant help from the bed's upper dishes and casseroles, and a pack of regular bed. I was not even at home. I And, God knows I've failed to please
half. Mom sweated at the crank. Dad outdoorsy men with giant red hands was sitting in another building, typing my editor.
laid there and watched. Dad couldn't who were new to sobbing bullshit that I hoped would please my And, worst of all, more often than
help. He watched. He was in the inconsolably in front of each other. book editor. Who, by the way, is my heart can bear at 2:34 pm Pacific
hospital bed. Mom did all the But, that hospital bed had been awesome. Time on Friday April 22nd, I know
cranking. Dad watched. He watched heavy. Really heavy. And even And, if I noticed what time it was, I'd I've failed to be home for several of
while his wife turned a shitty little though the bed's wheels had been always wonder whether my daughter my daily shot at " DAD-dy! DAD-dy!
iron crank, trying impotently to make thoughtfully nested in plastic casters, had run into our bedroom yet. DAD-dy!"
her best friend just a tiny bit more the raw tonnage of the iron I'd wonder whether she had seen my It's now become unavoidably clear to
comfortable as his body worked to motherfucker left permanent dents in side of the bed empty again. And, me that I've been doing each of these
finally finish eating itself. But, he our ugly, broccoli-green carpeting. when I thought about my empty spot things poorly. The job, the making,
couldn't help out. I think he wanted to Six breadplate-sized dents that were on the bed and how disappointed the pleasing, and, yeah, the being at
help out. But, he couldn't help out. still there a year and a half later on she'd be to scream " DAD-dy! DAD- home. And I can't live with that for
She couldn't really help my Dad. My the day my Mom and I moved out. dy! DAD-dy!" then see I'm not even another day. So, I've chosen which
Dad couldn't really help her. But they We didn't need a house that big for there, I'd die a little. one has to go. At least in the way it's
sure tried. just the two of us. Plus, the living I'd die a little, because as I thought worked to date. Which is to say not
She cranked and cranked. room wasn't much fun to hang out in about her, I'd think about my Dad. working.
I was seven. I didn't know how to any more. And as I thought about my Dad, I'd I'll let you guess which.
help anyone. 2. Way too big. Way too big. 4. start thinking about hospital beds Because, that? That choosing? That's
The last time I saw my Dad, he was I don't currently have a hospital bed. with cranks--then on to dents, and what my book needs to be about. Not
in a different hospital bed. That one I have a modest but very comfortable covered dishes, and rooms full of about pleasing people. Not about
was a much more functional and regular bed in a regular bedroom sobbing outdoorsy guys, and so on.
aesthetically appropriate unit neatly CRANKING page 12
where I sleep with my regular wife. But, by then it might be 6:10 am
6
GIVING
continued from page 6 Improving the
Horizon’s environmental damage wouldn’t simply be the federal But Siemen warned that laws alone
prove low. This could happen if
there’s political pressure to settle with
government who has the opportunity
to support those rights,” said
aren’t enough. “For a natural rights
movement to be successful, there has
trains
BP, if the science becomes skewed by Mengerink. “It would be the public. If to be a huge shift in our (Seth's Blog)
corporate or political pressures, or if you don’t trust the government to do consciousness,” she said. “If we
Submitted at 4/22/2011 4:31:00 AM
some damages are simply its job, this would be added support. adopt more environmental laws, and
overlooked. Whether natural rights statutes will there hasn’t been a shift in the value While making the trains run on time
The spill’s deep-sea effects in hold up in court remains to be seen. system of humans toward caring and is a good thing, making them run
particular may be underestimated, So far, judges have been inconsistent protecting, then those laws won’t be early is not.
with assessments focusing on in their treatment of the idea, which enforced.” If you define success as getting
wetlands, shallow-water fisheries and has generally been advanced in Images: 1) Striped dolphins closer and closer to a mythical
other ecosystems that are both connection to individual animals swimming through oiled water perfection, an agreed upon standard,
commercially valuable and relatively rather than ecosystems. (NOAA). 2) Community of creatures it's extremely difficult to become
easy to study, said Cynthia Sartou, One promising sign came from the around a “cold seep” on the Gulf of remarkable, particularly if the field is
executive director of the Gulf federal Ninth Circuit court’s 2004 Mexico seafloor (Derk Bergquist/ competitive. Can't get rounder than
Restoration Network. decision in Cetacean Community v. Marine Resources Research Institute, round.
Under the Oil Protection Act, Bush, in which the court had to South Carolina Department of In general, purple cows live in fields
however, only state and federal decide whether “the world’s Natural Resources). where it's possible to reinvent what
government agencies can represent cetaceans have standing to bring suit See Also: people expect.
nature. People could hypothetically in their own name” in challenging the • Nature to Get Legal Rights in
sue the federal government to do a Navy’s use of whale-harming sonar. Bolivia
better job, but it’s unlikely. “You are The court ultimately ruled against • Pennsylvania Towns Give Legal
very limited in your right to sue. You recognizing the cetaceans’ standing, Rights to Mother Nature
are very limited in your right to even but wrote that “nothing in the text of • Gulf Coast May Be Permanently
comment on what they do,” said Article III [of the U.S. Constitution] Changed by Oil Spill
Sartou. explicitly limits the ability to bring a
“In a system of natural rights, it claim in federal court to humans.”
10
Celebrating
Earth Day
by A Googler (The Official
Google Blog)
Submitted at 4/22/2011 11:33:00 AM
Today, we’re celebrating Earth Day
with an animated, interactive doodle
on our homepage and events at
Google offices around the world. At
our headquarters in Mountain View,
Calif., we’re holding an
environmental fair for Googlers,
complete with speakers and contests
to strengthen Googlers’ green
acumen, and a cookout using—what
else— parabolic solar cookers(don’t
Best Sun Images From Solar Space that and a bag of antennas as
suggested and, with all the weight at
the top, we can see this things flying
out of hands left and right. But, we're
Telescope’s First Year certainly willing to be surprised.
Place your bets in comments below.
Could the iPhone 5 look like a
(Wired: Wired Science) of massive explosions that send hot prominence on March 30, 2010. Solar
beveled iPod touch? originally
charged material ripping through scientists think the eruption was
Submitted at 4/21/2011 2:06:53 PM space, and sunspots dancing across triggered by a twist in the sun's appeared on Engadget on Fri, 22 Apr
| Next >> the solar surface. magnetic field. When flares like this 2011 19:53:00 EDT. Please see our
• "This magnificent observatory is are directed at Earth, they can wreak terms for use of feeds. Permalink|
• exceeding expectations," said former havoc with satellites and power This is my next| Email this|
• SDO project manager Elizabeth grids.| Next >> View all Comments
• Citrin of NASA's Goddard Images: NASA/SDO
• Spaceflight Center. "The images of See Also:
• the sun are spectacular and the • New Space Telescope Delivers
• scientific value of data is immense." First Mind-Blowing Video of the Sun
"The SDO mission is turning out to • Spacecraft Sees Earth Eclipse the
NASA's Solar Dynamics be our Hubble for the sun," said Fiery Sun
Observatory, a space telescope NASA solar physicist Madhulika • Sun Video Shows New Solar Cycle
charged with watching the sun in Guhathakurta. "It is already Is Far More Active
unprecedented detail, revealed its first transforming heliophysics (the • Cute Little Spacecraft Will Take
look at the sun to the world one year science of space weather) in the same Amazing Pictures of the Sun
ago today. way the Hubble Space telescope has • Video: Magnetic Twister Erupts on
Since then, the telescope has transformed astronomy and Sun
watched the sun shift from its quietest cosmology." • Huge Magnetic Filament Erupts on
period in years to the beginning of a In this gallery, we look back at the the Sun
new, active solar cycle. It's seen loops mind-blowing sun photo factory's
of plasma that dwarf the Earth tracing
the sun's magnetic field, early stages
greatest hits. Above: First Light
SDO saw its first erupting solar
Video: Robo-Camera
Rig Animates
Under cover of night
VIDEO:
the
for15
page three weeks
Night
in SkyApril, farmer Randy
March and
Halverson trudged
(Wired: Wired out to his South
Science)
Dakota fields to make this video of
15
VIDEO:
continued from page 14
the evening sky. “It takes a lot of trial and error to get Videos: Randy Halverson/
The montage is one of several the right, but it’s worth it,” he said. “It Dakotalapse.com
amateur astronomer has created, shows motion into the stars you don’t Image: Halverson’s slow-moving
combining off-the-rack equipment normally notice. When you look up at robotic rig. (Copyright Randy
and patience to great effect. His them, you often don’t realize how Halverson)
motivation to brave chilly evenings is much they’re moving.” See Also:
simple. Halverson tries to achieve a different • Amateurs Find Hidden Gems in
“I like to be outside, I like to see the theme with each montage. “ Orion” Space Photo Contest
stars, and I like to take photos then (above), filmed March 20 through • Zoom In on Top 8 Ultrahigh-
see the results,” Halverson said. “It April 10, features the famous Resolution Science Panoramas
all just goes together really well.” constellation tracking across his • Cheap DIY Camera Systems
A star-tracking mount for a telescope family’s land, starting in an old grain Perform Amazing Photographic Feats
allows Halverson’s still camera to distillery. His favorite work to date is • Reader Photo Gallery: More
pan and tilt with the stars. It not only “Sub Zero,” which was filmed at Stunning DIY Astrophotos
prevents blur, but also gives a walk- temperatures as low as -25 degrees • Amateur Astrophotographers
about motion to his videos. Fahrenheit (video below). Unwittingly Help Scientists Track
A motorized rail creates the zooming “In that one, I filmed some parts from Comet
effect; a computer controller that the house my parents used to live in • Photo: Mad Dash to Catch Space
moves the mount and snaps the 60 years ago,” he said. “It has a Shuttle Crossing the Sun
camera’s shutter. Each scene in the special meaning to me.” • Best of a New Trove of Mind-
montage represents about 300 still This spring and summer, Halverson Blowing Space Photos
photographs taken over a period of hopes to shoot from South Dakota’s
several hours. badlands and the Rocky Mountains.