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Proper Personhood in the Cosán

In the Cosán Tradition, as in all other Traditions belonging to the two Fratries of the
Wica, it is necessary for any applicant to prove himself or herself a Proper Person before
being accepted into the Coven as a Dedicant. Only a Proper Person, Properly Prepared
may be initiated to the First Degree in any Traditional Coven.

So, what is a Proper Person?

Gardner wrote that Proper Persons are “those that we meet, that we recognize as ones that
we have known and loved before.” In other words, those whom our intuition tells us are
of the Wica. We are to look for those persons whom our magical senses tell us share the
deep tie of kinship.

This is an excellent beginning. However, in these days of the “New Age” and the
sanitization and commercialization of “Wicca” into something palatable to and accessible
by the public, it may not be enough. We have all known people who, at first, seemed like
good candidates for our Coven, but have not proven Proper when it came time to consider
them for dedication (and some have been discovered as such well before that point.)

It seems appropriate here to mention that a person may be deemed Proper for another
group or Tradition, and not for Cosán, or vice-versa. A Priest, Priestess, or Coven can
only determine proper Personhood within the boundaries and standards set by that
Coven/Tradition and for that Coven/Tradition. Just because someone is not a Proper
Person for a particular Coven does not make him or her “bad,” “wrong,” or worthy of
disdain or satire as a human being. Proper Personhood is something that can be attained,
if the person is:
a. Ultimately suited to the Tradition, and
b. Willing to do what is necessary (i.e. “The Work”) to attain it.

So, that said, in the Cosán Tradition it has been determined that a Proper Person is one
who has the qualities of: reliability, trustworthiness, responsibility, loyalty, optimism,
compassion, integrity, honesty, fairness, consideration, respect for authority,
resourcefulness, devotion, discrimination, and intelligence and who holds a Proper
Outlook.

I will attempt to define these terms, so that everyone can understand what we look for in
a person we wish to welcome into our Tradition.

Reliability: A Proper Person can be counted on to be where s/he says s/he will be. He or
she keeps promises and appointments, and if s/he has to cancel, does so at the earliest
possible time, even at his or her inconvenience. A Proper Person goes out of their way to
attend every Coven function, and plans his or her schedule around the Coven as much as
possible, instead of vice versa. When a Proper Person says s/he'll do something, bring
something, or say something, s/he does. A Proper Person is not “flaky.” A Proper Person
arrives to events on time, and is ready to work. A Proper Person is consistent in thought,
word, and deed. S/he says what s/he means, and means what s/he says. A Proper Person
has consistent boundaries and does not send mixed signals.

Trustworthiness: A Proper Person is one that any member of the Coven would trust with
his or her deepest secret, his or her child, or his or her life. A Proper Person can be
counted on in every way to keep their word, and to never intentionally hurt or betray any
member of the Coven. A Proper Person must be able to keep secrets, especially those
outlined in the Oaths. A Proper Person must be able to discern what level of
Confidentiality is necessary for any given piece of information. When in doubt, a Proper
Person says nothing.

Responsibility: A Proper Person takes his or her duties seriously. Whether it is providing
Cakes and Ale, or maintaining a position in the High Court. A Proper Person takes the
time to become familiar with any role he or she is given, and performs it to the best of his
or her abilities. A Proper Person completes all assignments and participates fully in all
workings of the Coven. A Proper Person does not expect others to do his or her work for
them, cover for him or her, or back him or her up if he or she is in the wrong. A Proper
Person willingly takes correction and consequences levied for misdeeds, and does what is
necessary to rectify any wrongdoings on his or her part, whether intentional or otherwise.

Loyalty: A Proper Person shows the greatest loyalty where it is due: to the Gods, the
Tradition, and to the Coven. For Initiates, this means that these take priority over
mundane interests and associations. For the Initiate, Magickal Family bonds are as strong
(occasionally even stronger) than birth ties, for the Tradition is in the Blood, and, in a
Magickal sense, blood is always thicker than water. This does not mean that a Proper
Person never disagrees with their Coven. However, Coven Business is kept within the
Circle, and the goal must always be to ensure the healing, cohesion, and strength of the
family before anything else.

Optimism: A Proper Person maintains a sense of optimism about life. A Proper Person
knows that Will shapes his or her future, and thus, it is bound to be wonderful. A Proper
Person keeps things in perspective with a positive outlook, knowing that, with
himself/herself as Steward, the Tradition (and thus the Craft as a whole) will remain true
to its core nature, and that all Witches that he or she creates will be the best they can
possibly be.

Compassion: A Proper Person has compassion. S/he is able to listen without


inappropriate personal attachment, but with sincere caring. A Proper Person is not drawn
into dramas or the “need” to change (or cure or “save”) people, but allows people to be
who they truly are. A Proper Person can learn to “live and let live,” even when the other
person’s lifestyle is incompatible his or her own. A Proper Person does not allow those
who are not proper to sow discord in his or her life, but instead lets them go their own
way.

Integrity: A Proper Person puts his or her integrity above all things. A Proper Person has
a strong code of ethics and lives by it. A Proper Person knows that s/he is only as good as
his or her word, backed up by appropriate action. A Proper Person knows that gossip,
trolls, mistakes in judgment or any other negative action cannot damage his or her
reputation permanently, as long as his or her integrity is intact.

Honesty: A Proper Person is always as honest as possible. A Proper Person tempers this
honesty with compassion and tact. A Proper Person shares positive feedback freely, but
withholds criticism (whether constructive or otherwise) unless his or her opinion is asked
for, and then responds as honestly and as constructively as possible. When it is necessary
to do so, a Proper Person delivers critical or negative opinions of a direct and personal
nature privately, and in the least inflammatory manner possible. A Proper Person does
not lie, equivocate, bend the truth, deceive by deliberate omission, rationalize, or
otherwise behave falsely towards those whom s/he is Oathbound. A Proper Person knows
that to do so is to deceive him or herself, and to forswear him or herself before the Gods.

Fairness: A Proper Person always seeks justice, balance, and fairness. A Proper Person
goes through appropriate channels to settle disputes, and to make sure everyone has a
chance to be heard. A Proper Person listens more often than s/he speaks, allowing
everyone in Circle to have a turn to ask questions, venture an answer or an opinion. A
Proper Person puts as much energy into the Circle as s/he takes out (on average.) A
Proper Person hears all sides before making a personal judgment. A Proper Person seeks
clarification before making assumptions or responding in passion.

Consideration: A Proper Person is polite and exhibits good manners. A Proper Person
considers the entire Coven when taking actions that might affect it in any way. A Proper
Person listens attentively to and carefully considers the merits of everything his or her
mentor (or Priest, or Priestess) teaches, assigns, asks, or tells them. (A Proper Person who
is a mentor will also offer the same consideration to a student’s questions, comments,
feelings, and opinions.) A Proper Person considers the feelings and possible reactions of
every member of the Coven before speaking, acting, or posting to a mailing list. This
does not mean s/he has to cater to everyone, or that every decision has to be sanitized or
politically correct. It just means that all possible reactions should be thoroughly
considered before acting. A Proper Person does not ask anything of another that s/he
would not be willing to do him or herself.

Respect for Authority: A Proper Person realizes that a Coven Structure is a hierarchy; a
“benevolent dictatorship,” and that, ultimately, all judgments and decisions lay with The
Priestess. A Proper Person will respect and utilize the “chain of command” put forth in
the Coven By-Laws. A Proper Person will afford The Priestess, The Priest, any members
of the High Court, any Initiate, or anyone who is above them in experience and/or rank,
the appropriate respect (in both word and action) regardless of any feelings or opinions
s/he might be having at the moment. A Proper Person will exhibit this respect at all times,
but especially when in magickal or sacred space, or whenever The Priestess or The Priest
is acting under the auspices of his or her office (i.e. at any Coven or Coven-related
function, at any Pagan function, or on Coven sponsored mailing lists.)

Resourcefulness: A Proper Person will always use his or her most creative thinking in
ways that will benefit the Craft, the Tradition, and the Coven. A Proper Person strives to
share his or her gifts and skills with the Coven for the betterment of all. A Proper Person
shares good opportunities, good fortune, good ideas, good bargains, good leads, and good
wine with their Coven.

Devotion: A Proper Person puts devotion to the Gods before all else. A Proper Person
remembers always that the Gods are the reason why s/he is who and what s/he is—a
witch/Witch/Priest/ess. A Proper Person seeks and recognizes the divine spark in all
living things and honors it. A Proper Person keeps the Esbats and Sabbats, in whatever
way possible, even when mundane obligations interfere. A Proper Person integrates their
magickal and mundane lives as much as possible, offering up every thing s/he does in
service to the Gods. A Proper Person remembers that he or she is the servant of the Gods,
and not vice versa. A Proper Person recognizes that his or her first duty is to the specific
Gods to whom he or she is bound by Oath: his or her Matron/s. Patron/s, and the Gods of
Coven and Tradition. A Proper Person keeps and properly maintains personal Sacred
Space (i.e. an altar) whenever possible.

Discrimination: A Proper Person is able to discriminate between Traditionalist and Non-


Traditionalist practice, belief, and/or point of view. A Proper Person is able to
discriminate between a person who is not proper for our Coven/Tradition, and one who is
not proper at all. A Proper Person is able to discriminate between someone who is
untrained/naïve, and someone who is willfully ignorant and a danger/disgrace to the core
values of the Craft. A Proper Person uses this skill to determine the proper company to
keep, which people to keep an eye on and/or informally advise, and how much public
exposure to maintain. A Proper Person never allows their name, Tradition or Coven to be
linked in any way with anything that is anathema to their Coven’s law, ethical code, core
practice, or standards of behavior.

Intelligence: A Proper Person has at least two brain cells to rub together. A Proper
Person is able and willing to learn, both by exposure to lore, and by the experience of it.
A Proper Person asks questions to clarify concepts that are confusing or unclear. A
Proper Person strives to reach a full understanding of the material presented, and can
demonstrate that understanding when presented with questions, scenarios, or other
assignments by his or her mentor/s. A Proper Person shows a demonstrable ability to
reason and think flexibly. A Proper Person can articulate an opinion relatively clearly. A
Proper Person demonstrates the ability to make free and appropriate choices. It is not
necessary for a person to be formally educated or to have a college degree to be a Proper
Person.

Proper Outlook: Those whom we consider for membership must have a Proper Outlook
as to the Sacred nature of the Craft and its Mysteries. One can not be a Witch who holds
the view that induction into a coven or attainment of degree is a popularity contest. One
must understand and accept that they are entering a Priesthood (a life of Service) as well
as a Clan (Family Group). It is, therefore, inappropriate to hold the view that coven
membership amounts to any sort of “right of carnal access.” One must also view the
Tradition of the Craft as a primarily Mystical Tradition of Personal-Transformation to be
experienced, preserved and passed down, with its core extant, to their heirs. Anyone does
not hold these views as Truth has no place among us.

We recognize that becoming and remaining a Proper Person is an ongoing process, that
people have weaknesses and flaws, and that, in their humanity, they make mistakes.
However, the Craft has no place for defense mechanisms or excuses. Any Proper Person
will strive towards actualization of the Self, complete personal responsibility, and the
removal of non-productive qualities from his or her life.

>> "It's fine to have our heads in the sky, but it is necessary to have
>> our feet in the dirt of the Earth."
~Branson

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