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I love this book! It touched me deeply.

But more than touch you, it will


teach you the practical and simple steps how you can get healed and
how you can heal others. I cannot recommend it strongly enough. I will
give a copy to everyone I know who needs God’s healing.
— BO SANCHEZ,
Founder of Shepherd’s Voice Publications and bestselling author of
You Can Make Your Life Beautiful and at least 12 other books

This is a book that not only talks about the cure and the healing, it is a
book that intensifies faith in a loving God whose plan and purpose for
His children is not for disaster but for their benefit and welfare. Buy the
book. Read the book. Keep one for yourself and give one to another
whose questions in life need to be answered by healing and joy!
— FRANCIS KONG, best-selling author

It’s a treasure! A wonderful guidebook for a difficult point in one’s life


journey. Many families and individuals will be blessed. I have read this
book while in the midst of ministering to a family whose father has just
been diagnosed with a life-threatening tumor. . . . Your book has been a
terrific help for me at this time. I’m making practical application now of
the things I am learning. God’s timing is always ever perfect.
— CATHY BABAO-GUBALLA,
Columnist, Philippine Daily Inquirer;
Founder and counselor, Miggy’s Corner Foundation

No one ever faces adversity alone. It touches everyone around you. Ardy
Roberto teaches us how to be more compassionate, supportive and
caring, while providing invaluable tips for those who are facing life’s
challenges. Read this, and you will heal.
— CHRISTINE CLIFFORD BECKWITH,
CSP, President of The Cancer Club (USA) and
author of six books including Not Now. . . I’m Having a No Hair Day!

Ardy Roberto shares the personal struggle for healing in this inspiring
story. His writing is both moving and practical, especially useful for
those who must play the role of helper to a loved one struggling with
disease. By bringing an attitude of hope and encouragement as well as
using the spiritual tools of faith and prayer a loving helper can become
a healer. I was deeply moved by the story and I know God is going to
use this book in many people’s lives.
— PETER TSUKAHIRA,
Pastor and co-founder of Carmel Assembly, Haifa, Israel;
author, My Father’s Business and God’s Tsunami

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You’ve made me think and you’ve made me smile. So much from so
many in one little book. This is a book of hope, heart, love and lessons.
— DR MARK CRAPO, OMD,
Editor and contributing author of the Practical Applied Nutrition course in the
State of California, and author of Acupuncture: A Desk Reference

Honest, feel-good and inspiring life lessons. A treasure of a book, a must-


have in everyone’s personal library! We especially love Chapter 16: Laugh
your way to healing.
— ERIC VILLARAMA and DONITA ROSE

God-inspired! The Heart of Healing is a moving book of hope and en-


couragement especially for those battling with a life-threatening illness.
The book brings healing to the soul as it speaks straight to the heart on
matters that truly count. The profound truths written from experience,
substantiated with research makes the book so rich and inspiring!
— DR AGNES SARTHOU, PhD, cancer survivor

This is a book you would want to keep within arm’s reach. It chronicles
the journey of Ardy and his beloved Tingting in their battle with lupus,
and how hope, love, encouragement and prayer led to miraculous
healing. That same miracle can happen to any of us!
— DR GWEN SO, MD

The Heart of Healing is a wonderful book, based on actual and true to


life personal experiences and at the same time inspirational.
— FLOR TARRIELA,
Chairperson, Philippine National Bank; co-author of Blessings in Disguise

Hope rises from the pages beginning in the very first chapter and
continues to flow like a life-giving stream throughout. The stories add
to this sense of real life and Ardy’s vulnerable attitude will leave readers
encouraged and inspired without any false promises. Ardy Roberto’s book
is a practical book for those with illness and those who care for them.
— DAVID OLIVER, author, Work: Prison or Place of Destiny?

I really like your personal style and flavor. I know it was hard to write as
you seem to re-live those moments again in a genuine way. I think this
book will bring a lot of comfort. I like your interjection of real con-
versations with the doctors; the research you have done to validate your
points is very refreshing.
— KRISH DHANAM, author, The American Dream from an Indian Heart,
Co-Author, Top Performance (with Zig Ziglar)

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All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from
the Holy Bible: New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978,
1984 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan.
All rights reserved.
Other Scripture quotations are taken from:
Holy Bible: King James Version. KJV.
Holy Bible: New King James Version. NKJV. Copyright © 1982
by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Holy Bible: New Living Translation®. 2nd edition. NLT®.
Copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
Used by permission. All rights reserved.
New American Standard Bible®. Updated edition. NASB®.
Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995
by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Quoted passages on pages 79–84 are taken from


www.c-warriors.org/aboutjames.htm. Copyright © 2000–2004
by CancerWarriors Foundation Inc. Used by permission.
All rights reserved.
Quoted passages on pages 137–140 first appeared as the article
“Laughter: It’s a Family Affair” by Christine Clifford Beckwith, CSP in
The Cancer Club newsletter, July 2007. Copyright © 2007
by Christine Clifford Beckwith, CSP. Used by permission.
All rights reserved.

The Heart of Healing


HELP for You and Your Loved Ones
Copyright © 2008 by Eduardo O. Roberto Jr.
Cover design by Jonathan de Vera
Page design by Marianne C. Ventura
Published (2008) in the Philippines by
OMF Literature Inc.
776 Boni Avenue
Mandaluyong City, Metro Manila
www.OMFLit.com
ISBN 978-971-0495-66-5
Printed in the Philippines

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Contents
j

Introduction : Why I wrote this book 11

PART I: Help Heal with Hope


1 “What’s Happening to Me?” 17
2 A Survivor Meets her Match? 21
3 Scare the Fear Away with Hope 26
4 Choose to be a Tigger, not an Eeyore 30
5 The Caretaker’s Role 41
6 Your Own Worst Enemy 51
7 The Power of Words 56
8 No Such Thing as “False Hope” 60
9 Doctors Who Dispense Hope 64
10 James’s Big Hope against the Big “C” 78

PART 2: Help heal with Encouragement


11 Encouragement from Friends and Family 91
12 Creating a Healing Hospital Room
Environment 94
13 Sights, Sounds, and Smells that Encourage
Healing 104
14 The Healing “FASTFOODD” Diet 113
15 Let Bitterness Go 128

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16 Laugh Your Way to Healing 133
17 Touch 142
18 Purpose and Inspiration 149
19 Peace in His Hands 156
20 Thanksgiving is a Healing Balm 159
21 Look for Stories of Healing 162
22 Faith: Your Role in Healing 184

PART 3: Help heal with Love


23 Show Me the Love! 191
24 In Sickness and in Health 194
25 Where is the Love? 200
26 The Blessings of Illness 204

PART 4: Help heal with Prayer


27 The Promise 211
28 Prayer of the Brokenhearted 214
29 Ask Friends to Pray 217
30 Proof 223
31 Miracle in Room 707 232
32 Dreams and Visions 238
33 Healing that Lasts Forever 242
34 Celebrate! 253

Appendix 1: Directory of Support Groups and


Prayer Partners 261
Appendix 2: Movies that Inspire 262
Appendix 3: Books that Help 264

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Acknowledgments
j

I CAN’T BELIEVE that this book is finally ready for its birth.
Today is May 3, 2008 as I write this page. I surveyed my
prayer journals this morning. I’ve been talking about writing
and finishing this book since late 2001, a year after Tingting
was healed. I guess seven years after is the perfect time. At a
Christmas party of lupus patients and survivors at the Univer-
sity of Sto. Tomas hospital auditorium, I heard a speaker say
that a lupus survivor is a real “survivor” if he or she gets to the
seven-year mark without a major flare-up. So thank you Lord
once again for keeping my wife lupus-free and healthy for the
past eight years.
Thank you to my Tingting for being so ferocious in taking
care of this healing gift by looking after herself (on top of
looking after me). She looks so magnificent and beautiful as
I write this. She also helped edit and proofread this book.
Thanks, my Swato, for sacrificing so many Saturday dates with
me so that I could finish this book. (Thanks also to Manay Nita
for taking care of her and our needs.)
Thank you to my Mom for the encouragement and the
“unhealthy” but lovingly made chicharon that I would some-
times eat while writing this book. Thanks to my Dad. I remem-
ber the discipline that he puts into writing books and I just
copied him. Thanks for modeling the way for me, Dad.
Thank you to OMF Literature, Inc. Thanks to Mon Rocha,
then CEO, who eagerly said “yes” to the manuscript. Thank
you to my editor, Ian Magallona, who helped reorganize the

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book to its current format — which I think works better than
the last. Thanks Ian.
Thanks to my staff and team at Salt & Light Ventures who
looked after the shop while I took chunks of time off to write
and rewrite this book.
I praise God for everyone who had a hand in getting this
book published.

My life verse as a writer:

That I may publish


with the voice of thanksgiving,
and tell of all thy wondrous works.
PSALM 26:7 (KJV)

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This book is dedicated to
Our Healer, the Great Physician,
Jesus Christ.

“Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed;


save me and I will be saved,
for you are the one I praise.”
– JEREMIAH 17:14

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Thank you

To all the people whom God used to bring healing to my wife,


Tingting, thank you.

To my family — especially my Mom (Corrie), my Dad (Ned), and my


sisters — Sharon, Elaine, and Cherry. To Chava, our goddaughter
whom we love like our own and her mom, my sister-in-law
Chilet, yaya Edna, Ate Teofs+, Kuya Jing, Mark, Abigail, and
Paolo Linsangan;
Our friends, especially — Carol & Nando Roa, Ricky & Mila Samson,
Alex & Lelo Castillo, Maysie Yuzon & Family, the Dimarumba,
Lastrilla, Oliva, Legaspi, and Ramirez families,
CCF & BFH Christian Fellowships, the Symmetry family, Doctors —
Mark Crapò, Gwen So, Vilma Co, Paul Tan, Bertie Santos-
Ocampo, Becky Singson, Regina Liboro, Edna Lao — nurses,
hospital and clinic staff (esp. my Ninong, Ashok Nath of the
MMC) and all the people who visited, prayed, sang praise songs,
wrote letters and cards, gave gifts of flowers, freshly baked bread,
paella, adobo, and soul-lifting stuff like ube ice cream to my wife
and me during the most difficult time in our lives.

Thank you for all the


Hope
Encouragement
Love and
Prayers
that you gave to us!

We praise and thank God for bringing all of you into our lives.

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Introduction
j
A HEALING MIRACLE. MY WIFE DESPERATELY NEEDED ONE.
In early 2000, people close to me thought that I would
become a widower. My wife, Tingting, was diagnosed as
having a crippling and life-threatening disease called systemic
lupus erythematosus (SLE). Lupus is a treacherous disease
that tricks the immune system into attacking the body’s own
organs including the kidneys, liver, pancreas, skin, brain,
lungs, heart and nervous system.
If you were to meet my wife today, it would be hard to
believe that she almost died of systemic lupus. But in June of
2000, Tingting was skin and bones — she had lost 45 pounds
within five months. At 80 pounds, she looked like an African
famine victim. The lupus had launched its most vicious
offensive, attacking her nervous system, brain, pancreas,
lungs, and other organs. Worse, she was in a coma-like,
catatonic state and had stopped communicating with people.
But by God’s awesome grace, from February to July 2000,
Tingting and I experienced and witnessed a number of mir-
acles, both great and small, that led to her healing. By July
2000, God used the wisdom and love of special people,
divine intervention and answered prayers to bring healing
to Tingting. Doctors acknowledged that, indeed, her recovery
from the damage that the lupus wrought on her body was
amazing, if not “miraculous.” In July 2006, one of Tingting’s
doctors, after examining Tingting’s latest tests, called us into

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The eart of Healing

her office with an unusually loud voice, saying, “Where is my


miracle patient?”
I don’t know about you, but when I experience a miracle
in my life, it’s very hard to keep it a secret. I just feel some
sort of moral responsibility to tell other people about it. It’s
similar to wanting to tell your friends and family about your
discovery of the latest hole-in-the-wall restaurant that serves
the best Thai chicken curry on earth, only a thousand times
more intense. You don’t keep those sort of things a secret.
And so this book was born out of the desire to share not
just the miracles that I have witnessed but the information
and insights I have gained about health and healing that could
make you or your loved one a candidate for a miracle.

BEATING THE ODDS


During Tingting’s journey to recovery, she was showered
with words of hope, lived in an environment where people
encouraged and loved and prayed for her and with her
around the clock. I know now that it was indeed God who
guided and gave us wisdom in laying a healing path. That
wisdom, knowledge, and the research into paths toward
healing are presented in this book. Tingting and I both pray
that you — or the person you are taking care of — will
benefit from this book.

HOPE, ENCOURAGEMENT, LOVE, AND PRAYERS


I used the acronym HELP — standing for Hope, Encourage-
ment, Love, and Prayers — to put in a nutshell the attitudes
and actions outside of doctors and medicine that I thought
was all that was needed to help my wife get well. Those
attitudes and actions formed a daily priority list reminding

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Introduction

us that healing depends not just on medicine but also on the


things that feed the spirit, mind and heart.
This book can guide you in taking care of someone
who has a chronic or serious illness like cancer, heart disease,
or lupus. The HELP tips can also be applied to someone
who’s recovering from a stroke, a heart attack, depression, or
an operation. However, this book is not intended to replace
primary medical care or medication. It just advocates having
a heart of healing.
The heart of healing is all about having and dispensing
hope, creating an encouraging healing environment, expressing
love and praying for and with your loved one. Having this
heart of healing is much more effective than just giving
medicine alone. As the following stories and scientific
evidence show, HELP will make your loved one heal faster.
Hopefully, you’ll be inspired to apply the lessons here or
share these with someone who you know needs encourage-
ment and guidance. I know it will work! Your doctor will
also be pleased because you’ll make his job easier. And one
day he’ll be so amazed at your loved-one’s progress that he’ll
say, as our doctor did, “Whatever it is you’re doing, keep on
doing it!”
Here’s to health and healing in your family!
God bless you,

13

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Hope,
faith and a purpose in life,
is medicinal.

This is not merely a statement of belief


but a conclusion proved by meticulously
controlled scientific experiment.
DR HAROLD G. WOLF, MD, HARVARD

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Part One
HELP heal with

Hope

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1

“ What ’s Happening
to Me? ”

“WHAT’S HAPPENING TO ME, DONG?”


My wife’s eyes were pleading. Tingting had a persistent
low-grade fever and was feeling weaker every day. She was
frustrated that this feeling of malaise would not go away.
“I don’t know honey,” I answered. “Maybe you just
need some cool fresh air. Let’s go to Tagaytay, okay?”
So off we went. It was the middle of a Friday after-
noon and traffic was already bad. I looked at Tingting
from the corner of my eye. She was slumped in her seat
and shielding her eyes from the glare of the sun. Tingting
looked pale and thin. She liked being thin, but I knew
this wasn’t the good kind of thin.
“I don’t feel good. . . . What’s happening to me, Dong?”
My name is Ardy. My wife is a Cebuana from Cagayan de Oro, so she
calls me either “Dong,” “Pangga” (short for “Palangga” or sweetheart),
or “Swato,” a term of endearment we made up to call each other, a
contraction of “sweet potato” or “sweet tomato.” I plan to copyright that
word, Swato, so that no one else can use it. Anyway, back to the story. . .

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The eart of Healing

I prayed a prayer between breaths and took an early


exit to turn around and go back home. We stopped mid-
way at the Alabang Town Center to get a bite before
braving the traffic of the last leg of our journey home to
Merville Village, Parañaque. I hoped Tingting’s favorite
pasta would make her feel better.
We saw a friend, Ditas, who was shopping for some
clothes to wear to a wedding to which Tingting and I were
also invited. She asked if Tingting was all right and com-
mented that she was so thin.
Ditas soon left. Our food arrived but Tingting hardly
touched it. I was getting worried. “Honey, I’m taking you
to the clinic to get a check-up before we go home, okay?”
I said.
I took her to the 24-hour village clinic in Merville
run by Makati Medical Center doctors who lived in the
neighborhood. They took some blood from Tingting to
do some basic blood tests. The doctors didn’t say any-
thing specific that I remember except that perhaps she
should rest. They just asked that we return the next day
to meet with the doctor to discuss the results of the
blood test.
We went home. Tingting slept until the next morning.
But she didn’t look any better when she woke up. Worse,
her lower right eyelid was puffy.
We went to the clinic later that day. The doctor wasn’t
smiling. With the blood test results in his hands, he said,
“You shouldn’t go to that wedding you mentioned you
were going to later today. Instead, you should check into

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“What’s Happening to Me?”

a hospital. Your blood count is way too low. You need a


blood transfusion. . . and more tests.”
My heart began to sink. Well, yes, I did want to go
that wedding. After all, it was the wedding of one of my
best friends and former business partner, Bernie. But I felt
a foreboding fear, like I was about to enter an unknown
twilight zone, into uncharted territory. Of course, Tingting
didn’t look too happy either. She looked like a confused
and frightened little girl.
The doctor’s explanation didn’t give us much enlight-
enment.
We went to the Makati Medical hospital and stayed
there for a few days. After the blood transfusions, Tingting
felt better. She had anemia but the doctors were not able
to determine what was causing it. The doctors probed
into her medical history and family history. Tingting’s
mom had died of bone cancer at age 42. Tingting was just
a whisp of a teenager then. Does Tingting now have what
her mom had?
I could only hope for the best. But the fear of the
unknown started creeping up my spine like a spider
I couldn’t shake off.

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Life Lesson
Knowledge is a light that casts out the fear of the
unknown.
IF I HAD ONLY KNOWN. . . Tingting and her sister always
assumed that her mother died of bone cancer. Since they
were separated from their mother at a young age, there
really was no way, or perhaps no need, to confirm this.
In June 2000, I asked Tingting’s sister, Chilet, to investigate
and call their elder relatives. It turned out that their Mom
did not have bone cancer but lupus. If we had known this
earlier, lupus would have been suspected and diagnosed
in our first hospital visit in January 2000.
Know the medical histories of your family and of your
spouse’s family.

j
Life Passage
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God.
PSALM 43:5a

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