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Gizzard = Also called ventriculus. a thick-walled, muscular pouch in the lower stomach of
many birds and reptiles that grinds food, often with the aid of ingested stones or grit.
Shattered = cause to break or burst suddenly into pieces, as with a violent blow
Hoole = a suburb in the east of Chester, in the unitary authority of Cheshire West and
Chester and the ceremonial county of Cheshire, England.
HISTORY
Albert Yapiter
MOVIE SUMMARY
Young Harry Potter has to lead a hard life: His parents have died in a car crash when
he was still a baby, and he is being brought up by his Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia. For
some reason unbeknownst to the bespectacled ten-year-old, the Dursleys let him live in the
small cupboard under the stairs, and treat him more like vermin than like a family member.
His fat cousin Dudley, the Dursley's real son, keeps bothering Harry all the time. On his
eleventh birthday, Harry Potter finally receives a mysterious letter from a certain Hogwarts
School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, telling him that he is chosen as one of the future
students of that supposedly renowned school. Hagrid, the gigantic man who brought the
letter, finally introduces Harry into the real circumstances of his life: His parents were a
wizard and a witch, they were killed by the evil wizard Voldemort protecting him. Harry
still has a lightning-shaped scar on his forehead from that event. Since he survived the
attack as a baby, and also somehow deprived Voldemort from his powers, he has been
famous in the wizarding world ever since. The Dursleys, strong disbelievers in that magical
crap, never told Harry anything about his true self. So, Harry is strongly surprised, yet
absolutely happy to start his school. At Hogwarts, Harry meets his teachers, and becomes
friends with Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. The three of them accidentally find out
that the potions master, Severus Snape, seems to plot on stealing something that is guarded
by a three-headed dog. Since nobody would believe some first years to have found out such
important things that even would incriminate a Hogwarts teacher, they take it on themselves
to find out what Snape is up to. Their quest for the truth leads across many obstacles, from
keeping up the everyday school life, a bewitched Quidditch match (Quidditch is a popular
wizard sport), Fluffy, the three-headed monster dog and quite some tasks one has to
overcome to get to the guarded object ( the sorcerer stone).
Finally they overcome all obstacles to figure that it was actually Prof Quirrel who
was trying to steal the stone - he was sharing his body with the battered soul of Lord
Voldemort. Harry defeats Voldemort in the end.
Albert Yapiter
MOVIE SUMMARY
The opening scene shows three Montague thugs driving their car to a gas station while
singing Pretty Piece of Flesh by One-Inch Punch. At the gas station, a limo pulls up and three
Capulets get out. One of the Montagues pulls his .71 Desert Eagle (named Sword) and begins to fire
upon the Capulets. After a stunning display of gunmanship, the fight is interrupted by the police and
the perps flee the scene. Now, the movie proper begins.
Romeo is hangin' with his crew, Mercucio and Benvolio. They receive an invitation from a
transvestite inviting them to a party thrown by the Capulets. This all happens during a horrible
ecstasy trip where Mercucio dresses up like a woman and attempts to have sex with Romeo.
They arrive at the party completely wrecked and drugged out of their minds (except Romeo,
because he prefers to play it straight (and not gay)). Romeo sees the most beautiful 13-year-old he
has ever laid eyes upon: Juliet. He chats dat ho up and tries to make out with her in the Women's
bathroom, but she refuses. Her cousin, Tybalt, grows jealous and flips out, banishing Romeo from
ever setting foot on Capulet land again. Of course, Romeo doesn't listen at all and comes back to
see Juliet every night.
Tybalt is a pretty sick dude and wants to get with his cousin, Juliet. When he hears the news
that Romeo has been seeing her for some time, he completely wigs out and runs off with a .71
Desert Eagle "Sword" edition and tries to kill Romeo. Mercucio gets in the path of Tybalt's bullet
and dies, so Tybalt bolts like it's 1985. The prince of the city (who is Mercucio's cousin) hears of
this and, though he plans to execute Tybalt for his crimes, forbids Romeo to engage Tybalt. Romeo
doesn't listen, however, and shoots Tybalt the next day. The prince is angered and exiles Romeo.
Romeo, now banished, goes to see Juliet for the last time. They have sex. She suggests that
they run away together, but Romeo adamantly declines. "Nay," he says. "Your family would hunt
me to the ends of the Earth." He does, however, marry her in secret before his Hawaiian-shirt-
wearing priest friend.
Juliet devises a plan with said priest to cut off all ties with her family: she will pretend that
she is dead. The priest makes her a special potion that will allow her to feign death for a week
straight, and sends a letter to Romeo detailing the plan. It doesn't arrive, however, and when Romeo
hears news of Juliet's death a week later, he storms the city. Romeo evades police force after police
force, SWAT team after SWAT team, and eventually makes it to the church where Juliet's body is
being kept.
Romeo reaches the altar upon which Juliet's body has been placed (curiously not in a coffin
or sarcophagus) and chugs down a vial of poison, killing him instantly. Moments later, Juliet
awakens. Upon seeing his corpse, she kisses him, draws his .71 Desert Eagle "Sword" edition, and
offs herself.