Good Men are Easy to Find

Tips and experience on recruiting and screening male mentors

From New Zealands Big Buddy Programme, presented by Richard Aston, CEO Big Buddy NZ, at the National mentoring and Befriending Conference, Manchester May 2007

Notes on the Recruitment and Screening of Male Mentors

The recruitment and screening processes need to be integrated
The recruitment process is considered a part of the screening process in that it allows candidates to self screen early on. Key messages delivered at this early stage need to be clear and transparent. Some people will come part way through the process and decide to put it on hold for a while; this is to be encouraged.

Recruitment
We see two stages in recruitment - Reaching Out and Gathering In. In business speak, marketing and sales. Reaching Out: Getting the message out to candidates through a broad spectrum of mediums. Gathering In: Translating an initial inquiry into a firm commitment to embark on the screening process and become a mentor. The final stage of the recruitment process offers a chance to inspire and affirm the candidate and the choice he is making. This will hold him through the screening process.

Underlying values
For the recruitment to really work you need to honestly examine your underlying values about men as mentors. All the glossy brochures in the world will not cover up unconscious distrust or ambivalence. You need to believe that men need to mentor; its a part of what it means to be a man, to care for younger men. Men want to be part of something bigger but they need to see your organisation as successful and positive. People like backing winners and men in particular do not want to be associated with a project that seems unprofessional, ill thought out or fuzzy. Try your best to emphasise the positive stories and messages. Yes, there are plenty of negative statistics of what happens if boys do not get male role models but these are not great motivators for volunteers. Positive stories of success and change will motivate. Key values held by Big Buddy NZ : All men are good unless we find otherwise Men need to mentor its in their DNA to do so We are a positive, credible and successful organisation.

Screening
Our screening process takes a 360 degree view of the candidate. Using a mixture of social work, counselling and sales techniques we build a picture of the candidate taking special note of incongruence or black holes in this picture. This process is not diagnostic, rather it gives us a simple yes/no answer to the suitability of a male. In the no basket will be potential sexual abusers, unsafe men, very unconscious men and emotionally retarded men. The process sometimes differentiates these but in the end we are only interested in the mans suitability to be in a sole care relationship with a young person.

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Recruitment. Reaching Out Gathering In

Reaching o

Reaching Out

Our guiding image for reaching out is Inspire and Inform. Reach out via whatever public medium you can find that works. Use key statements, consistent messages and language across all mediums to avoid confusion, e.g. we refer to Fatherless boys and One man cant change the world but he can make a world of difference to one boys life. Build a file of these messages and if you use them consistently you will notice them appearing in the media without you having to will it.

Newspa

Use as many stories as you can that appeal to the heart of men. Inspire men with a sense of higher calling (e.g. Its what we men do, look after the young fellas. Inspire men with a sense they are joining other men in this higher calling. Keep the language plain, non technical and warm. Write these stories up as mini narratives and have them on file. Before you reach out, carefully prepare your language, messages and stories. If you cannot do this yourself, employ a good writer to do it; the investment will be more than paid back. Avoid jargon and try not to be too politically correct, most men seem to like the direct approach.,

Magazines

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Branding
Keep a consistent brand across all communications. Your name needs to be easy to spell and remember, so people can Google your name easily. A logo is essential; keep it simple and dont try to force too much meaning into it. Remember your branding; messages and stories need to work for people outside your organisation so get feedback on them from those people. Those of us in the social services can get too close to our work to see it clearly at times. If branding is new territory to you, check out how other successful brands do it.

Media
Form relationships with journalists, they are precious creatures and cannot be told what to write, they need an angle for their stories and will write about you when they are ready. Look for story opportunities within you organisation. Journalists need good, informed contacts as much as you need them! Be prepared to make comments on issues you are expert in, e.g. fatherless boys. If a journalist asks for comment, respond quickly and clearly, as they have deadlines to meet. Press releases have limited use unless you are commenting on current events. Dont expect journalists to get it perfect, they make mistakes. The important thing is to be back in the media as often as you can to build up an overarching story about your organisation.

Web site
Crucial! You web site is the central information and story storehouse that also conveys who you are. Keep it professional (no home-made sites, please) but warm and friendly. Have specific instructions on how to become a mentor, who to contact etc up front. Include a about us section, as people like to know who you are and who you are connected to. Ensure you site is Googlable i.e. Googling your organisations name should bring it up on the first page.

Word of mouth
Can be a very powerful way to communicate your message but dont be afraid to ask people to pass it on. Encourage your current mentors and clients to talk to men; make sure people have the web site or brochure to pass on.

Advertisements
You will not get consistent free press and will need to advertise on a regular basis. Keep your ads simple, catchy (without being clever) and consistent. Look for publications, web site etc that men will read; a small add with one strong statement will get attention. If it works, dont change it! We have used Good men wanted as a newspaper catch line; I dont know why it works but it does, so we dont change it.

Brochures
Another essential tool in your kit. Do not scrimp on these! Get them well written, use photos, get lots of feedback before you print them and spend the money to print them properly.

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Gathering In
Make it easy for people to contact you (via multiple routes) and once a man has made contact be prepared to have a conversation that will inspire him, affirm his motivation and inform him. Dont lecture, rather explore what he needs to know to help him make the decision, dont try to convince him; let his motivation unfold. Some will need very little; some may take several conversations and perhaps a face to face talk. During the initial conversation do a trial close to test if he is ready, So this is for you? If yes, stop and go straight into the mechanics of whats next i.e. dont over sell. When this is done, finish by welcoming in, as if he was already a mentor, You have already started to become a mentor, welcome to Im looking forward to meeting you etc. Your application forms need to have the same warm style you project in your reaching out and gathering in; an application form needs a warm welcoming covering letter, personalised to the man, acknowledging his motivation etc. Dont chase up the application too urgently (dont appear desperate!) but do schedule a friendly reminder 2 weeks later. Be prepared to put a man off if his commitment or motivation seems shaky, you will gain his trust and respect. It is surprising how many men we get coming back to us a year later having thought it through more deeply and found a clearer motivation.

Screening

Screening

The Big Buddy screening process develops a 360 degree view of a man, seeing him though others eyes as well as our own. While much information is generated in this process, no one thing informs our decision to accept or decline; its the overall picture the man presents and the congruency of this picture that is important.
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Character referees
Phoned directly. The conversation aims to build empathy and trust, uses key language (off the record, between you and me) to gain this persons view of the candidate. A structured list of questions is followed dropping down to the kicker, Would you be happy for this man to look after your kids for the weekend? Pay attention to the silences and what is not said. Dont be afraid to ask bold questions.

Doctors reference
A questionnaire sent to the doctor with the candidates signed permission. Reveals medications, depression, drug and alcohol issues.

Induction group
A 3 hr group designed mainly to inspire men but much information can be gained about how a man interacts in a social setting. How was he with others? How did he participate? What did his body language show? Was he in or out of the group? What were his concerns? Did he dominate the group or was he passive? Most importantly, was he invisible?

Police Check
A standard full police check showing criminal record, including traffic offences. Read carefully to gauge the context of problems over a persons life. A lot of very good men did some silly things when they were young!

Home Interview
The home interview is a crucial and very skilled component of the screening process. Our case worker arranges to visit the man in his home. The caseworker goes into this encounter with a sense of naive inquiry, deep listening, is non judgmental, friendly, open and relaxed. The caseworker holds an image of what he knows about the volunteer up to this point. He is looking to see if the image he has is congruent with the person he is interviewing in his home environment. He knows that deep listening invites people to share in depth, from their hearts rather than from their heads. Its an empathetic process similar to deep counseling and can be an extraordinary encounter for both caseworker and volunteer. We note details like, how welcoming was the house, how easy to find, did the man have social graces (offered food or drink), we can be quite nosey and very interested in this mans home environment. The interview uses the classic counseling mode of starting light then dropping down into some quite deep places, exploring the mans past, his relationships, his joys and sorrows. The caseworker takes stock of their own emotional state after leaving the interview to capture any projections, transference or counter transference and includes these observations in the summary of the interview he writes within 5 days. If a bubble of empathy and trust has been well built around the interview, you can ask some quite bold personal questions around sexuality etc, we are not afraid to ask these questions, we trust our intuitions and voice them.

Psyche Assessment
A professional psychotherapist is contracted to do this, preferably one who works psycho dramatically i.e. has an intimate knowledge of transference. We prefer to work with therapists who have worked therapeutically with child abusers and perhaps their victims but not therapists who do child abuse work exclusively. There can be much toxicity in that work that can skew a persons perceptions. The psyche assessor is given a full written profile on the man, created from all the proceeding processes. He looks for congruence between who he sees in the interview and this profile. He uses the profile to borrow deeper into any areas
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of concern. He asks direct questions about the mans sexual life, exploring it fully. He checks his emotional state after the interview to clarify any projections, transference or counter transference that may have occurred. He writes a report (half page) and recommends yes or no.

Peer review
With all the above completed, the caseworker compiles the case-file and discusses the man with another caseworker who is not involved in the application. The other caseworker will check for collusion or other investments. They review all that is known about the man and will especially look for what is missing, the gaps in a profile can reveal much and it often takes an outside view to see them. The review can produce four outcomes: 1. Accepted. The man is accepted as emotional, whole and safe, suitable to be a mentor. 2. Declined. Either there are obvious deficiencies in the man or something does not gel. The decision does not need to be rationalised; intuition is fine. 3. Accepted with conditions. The man could be fine but we think he will suit a particular type of boy. 4. Put on hold; go back for more info. On rare occasions we may decide to re-interview the man, talk more with the psyche assessor or ask more questions of the referees. In any case, the man is advised as soon as possible after the decision is made.

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