Buckethead Motifs: Opposites and Bullshit

Buckethead Motifs: Opposites and Bullshit

I.

What I want a. Credit where Credit is due

Daniel Krumland deserves all the credit for the first true performing Buckethead. He gave me the chance to make anything possible through this character. I don t know if he would like to be kept anonymous, but in the off chance that he doesn t, about 99.999999% performance credits go towards him. I, Juan Arnulfo Sandoval, contributed slightly to the discography and/or live performances. But most of all, I just want to be recognized, by my friends as the creator of Buckethead. Remember boys and girls, a Buckethead (when it is not the performing artist [Buckethead]) refers to a person who smokes hydroponically grown cannabis. This is arguably the most complex and convoluted idea I have ever come up; I don t want a tiny trophy, or a trophy at all period, I just want to be treated as a human being. b. Buckethead ID with Internal Record In the off-chance that I do decide to keep wearing the costume (which is probably pointless at the present moment) I would like an identification that is valid anywhere in the Universe (or any parts I have access to). If anyone doubts its credibility, it should either be linked to a file that says Internal Record) or call The String Puller (the man behind the iron curtain) including a way to contact the individual(s) anytime during my existence. Thank You. Without further ado, BUCKETHEAD! II. Why does Buckethead Exist?

At the end of my second semester at UT Austin, existence as I knew it had been almost permanently FUCKED UP. The staff of the place I lived at, minus Melissa, treated me like shit for an entire year. The girl I Love thought I was a creep and had just got back with her half-boyfriend. I had alcohol poisoning on the day I retired my fake ID. My so called best friend had fucked me out of (what I thought at the time) chingos of feria. I found out the girl I was having sexual relations with back home was probably having sex with another dude and I may have possibly contracted an STD. All this caused me to go temporarily insane, become manic-depressive, and be in a place where the highs seemed never ending and the lows seemed like a fiery abyss of flaming bullshit. Some crazy ass Dro I had cultured with the combination of YHVH (God to me) was the only thing that kept me going. Thankfully my friend Dan K. felt for me (taquito). I had just gotten into Pantera and was in the middle of an obsession of Jimi Hendrix. I had just finished writing something dubbed The Perfection (which, to this day, I never saw again) and was ready to bring about a revolution through the YHVH inspired Buckethead. a. Dobie Center On my 21st birthday, a 12-pack, of bottled Corona I had bought for my friends got taken away, unjustly, by Arvin and company from Dobie Center. I followed the rules provided by Todd Engstrom (Ehnstrom?) and legally purchased and transported alcohol to my private dormitory. The ironic thing is they took away my beer, but they failed to confiscate the two bottles of liquor (Svedka and Jose Cuervo) and margarita mix I had bought for my pre-party. I was abhorrently infuriated. This caused me to go on a drinking binge, get alcohol poisoning, and fuck up my serotonin reuptake inhibitor. Luckily for me, I had a special strand of hydroponically grown and cultured cannabis sativa. Fuck you Todd. b. Spark Memories At a certain point, I realized I was going to lose my memory and that my only chance at With Lindsay, Live Love Live Eternity was to do something exorbitantly miraculous and unprecedented. This is when the idea of Buckethead was born. I knew if I heard my friend Dan K. play guitar for me, live, that it would incite a plethora of memories, namely to play guitar. And if I learned to play guitar flawlessly, I could fuck the system with my guitar. c. To Learn Flawless Technique Dan K. programmed perfection in his guitar muscle memory. I knew I would not have access to be his neighbor anymore, so I figured if I could get mad videos of him playing guitar, perfect, and continue to

see, listen, and analyze what he was doing, I, too, could mirror his perfection and program perfection into my muscle memory. d. Conceal Daniel Krumland s Identity There was a COLLASAL issue at hand though. I had to conceal his identity. i. Wasn t ready to come out Dan K. was not ready to come out into the guitar playing arena. He chose to wait until he was the best. The matter of the fact is that there is no best. At a certain point, there is a caliber of performance that may be consistently flawless at extremely challenging levels; but there is no best, only different. So I had to figure out a way to get him to play for me, without being with him and without exposing his true identity. ii. Usurp my Position I originally wanted Dan K. to build the Buckethead reputation and on one occasion play for the U.S. Supreme Court, reveal myself (Juan Arnulfo Sandoval) as Buckethead, never perform as Buckethead ever again, Change the constitution, become famous, marry Lindsay, join the 27 club by faking my death, living happily ever after with Lindsay (anonymously), and then have Daniel Krumland claim he deciphered all the music Buckethead wrote and performed (which he had originally written), claim the Buckethead title, say I was an imposter that robbed him, elevate Daniel to the highest status possible, and then one day usurp the Buckethead position, bust out all my originals, and then at the end of the concert have Daniel, dressed as Chickenhead, the chicken that stood behind him on the wall of every concert, come up and play, burn Buckethead, the greatest guitarist ever in one crazy concert, at his own game. Causing mass hysteria in the guitar world and then trading positions back. I wanted to be Chickenhead, he could be Buckethead, and we could finally share a stage peacefully and make eloquent music for the rest of our lives. III. Where does the name Buckethead Come from

Many have accused me of not inventing Buckethead. Some have even arrested and jailed me for dressing in almost full Buckethead regalia. This is a sad day for them, but I will still shake their hand. a. Pothead vs. Buckethead

I grew up smoking regular cannabis, the kind that grows in dirt. When I moved up to Austin, it became efficient and more economical to smoke Dro. People that smoke cannabis have many nicknames, a common one being: Pothead. My conclusion brought me to believe that this idea, Pothead, was derived from the situation the one puts dirt in pots, one grows cannabis in pots, and if one smokes regular cannabis, therefore, one is a pothead. Since a couple of weeks into the semester I started calling my friend Daniel, DANK, because his first name and first surname initial (Dan K.) put together spelled Dank. Dank, in the cannabis culture, is outstandingly grown hydroponic cannabis sativa. Diggity Dank is Dro that s better than that. The prefix Hydro means water, Dro is grown hydroponically (in water), one puts water in Buckets, therefore, if you smoke cannabis that grows in water, to my understanding, one is a Buckethead. The logic is undeniable. The first memory I wanted to spark (pun intended) was to smoke cannabis when I saw my friend Dan K. play. Thus, if I saw Buckethead play, I would remember to smoke cannabis. IV. Why does Buckethead have certain attributes

Buckethead is an odd character, like Dan and I. There are several key features that denote Buckethead, all designed to remind me of Dan K. a. The Costume The costume is designed to trip people out, but quintessentially designed to take the focus off the person playing the music and MAKE the music the epicenter of all attention. This is so the music, alone, may be judged. Though some may argue the costume is distracting (it is), but luckily, the effect wears off after a few songs or so; making the music the focus of the performance. i. Mask 1. The Expression Dan K. is one of, if not THEE, most animated people I know. He is the person that taught me expression in music is everything. The opposite of expression is no expression. Therefore, I chose the mask to be white with no expression (a poker face). 2. The Nose I have a prominent nose, I think its Italian in nature. The only distinguishable feature in the original Buckethead mask is the nose and it is shaped EXACTLY like mine. I chose this to be the only feature on

the mask I could identify because The Nose Knows. When you get a big, pungent whiff of bullshit, the olfactory sense immediately knows what it perceives. This would also remind me that I AM THE BUCKETHEAD and that I created it. ii. Costumes Buckethead may wear anything, but he is known for wearing ensembles that feature his forearms. This is because Dan K. has insanely large forearms that slowly and naturally developed during the course of playing guitar (arguably) since he was a fetus, but probably more since he was eight or ten. Being that he was the first, and only, serious guitarist I ever met, I was astonished at the girth of his forearms and I knew that if I saw nothing else, but his posture and his forearms, I would automatically know the man behind the mask. 1. Deli Creeps The Deli Creeps features a Buckethead with a Vintage, Striped KFC Bucket, shorter hair, and an apron. 2. Raincoat Raincoat Buckethead features Buckethead with a Vintage, Striped KFC Bucket, Longer hair, a large, yellow raincoat, red windbreakers (pants), and black converse. 3. Blue Jumpsuit Blue Jumpsuit Buckethead, features a plain white Bucket, a one piece blue (which is the correspondent opposite shade of burnt orange) oil-rig jumpsuit. Oil, to me, is the opposite liquid from water. Fun fact: It is impossible to dissolve and homogenize a mixture of oil and water. iii. The Hair I originally intended the hair to be long, California surfer style hair. I don t specifically recall asking the Buckethead character to have curly hair, but long curly hair is more aesthetically pleasing to the Buckethead persona. iv. The Bucket The Bucket is the dingle berry on top of the costume. Though, arguably, any Bucket that fits Dan s head works, the preferred Bucket is a Vintage KFC Bucket for political reasons. According to Buckethead, the

KFC Bucket allows him to harness all the power of the chickens that have been murdered by Colonel Sanders and company, and express the agony of all the abused chickens that have died in the process of making fast food. 1. KFC The Original Bucket is a striped Vintage KFC Bucket. There is another version that has the same striped Vintage KFC Bucket, but has an additional orange bumper stick that reads FUNERAL (in all caps). The new, smaller KFC Bucket, with shorter dimensions, also appears in some of the videos, helping identify the era of the video. 2. White Legend has it, KFC sued Buckethead and made him stop wearing the KFC Bucket. Buckethead in turn, switched it up to plain white Bucket. White, being all light frequencies embedded together, allows him to express any frequency through his guitar that is perceived by his being. b. Equipment Buckethead makes epic sounds. Epic sounds come from tone. Tone comes from the fingers. Therefore, Buckethead is an epic finger. (Dedo) i. Guitars Dan K. earned his shredability on an Epiphone Les Paul. To add to Buckethead s larger than life stature, I wanted him to have his own custom signature Les Paul, which could be found on musiciansfriend.com. I figured: because Dan K. earned his virtuosic guitar skills on a Les Paul model, it would be easiest for Buckethead to play a Les Paul; therefore, minimizing the work of Dan K. on account that he was already used to playing that guitar. 1. Custom Les Paul a. Different Versions i. One Button ii. Commercial b. Tone bending control 2. Jackson Flying V a. KFC Special

b. Brown wood 3. Ibanez ii. Amps 1. Marshall 2. Mesa-Boogie 3. Rockman iii. What kind of strap is that? iv. Effects 1. Distortion 2. Wah 3. Digitech Whammy Pedal 4. Modulators 5. Delay 6. Mistortion a. What s a Mistortion pedal? b. Mistortion Pedals i. The JAS Pedal ii. Laser Pedal iii. Chicken Pedal c. The Robot Dance Buckethead has a signature Robot Dance. i. David Arjona When I was a Freshmen at PSJA North High-School I was a band geek. We had a marching band during the fall that would perform music during half-time at the football games and perform music from the stands. The Pit was under the instruction of Percussionist Juan Rodriguez and they would perform cadences from the stands as well. During one of the games, a cadence by the name of Rubber Biscuit started to play and senior David Arjona got up and did an EPIC robot dance. He was in the zone and garnered the attention of many. I too had to learn that dance. The Rubber Biscuit dance is indeterminably distinguishable and when Buckethead pulled it off, that too, was a sign that my friends contributed to the production of Buckethead.

d. The Nun-Chukkas Buckethead incorporates a Nun-Chukkas routine during his show. This is because of his interest in Martial Arts and reverence to Bruce Lee and his two-inch punch. i. Chuck Norris When I was up at UT Austin Albert and I would say, and sometimes create, Chuck Norris Fun Facts, i.e.: Chuck Norris doesn t check his closet for the boogeyman, the boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn t read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants. When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he doesn t push himself up, he pushes the earth down. Chuck Norris, to me, is a classic character of pop culture and also a bon-a-fide martial arts guru. At one point, Albert would call everyone Chuck, including his girlfriend at the time Bianca. One time she was irked and said I m not Chuck Norris, my names Bianca. Albert replied, Everyone s Chuck. I jocked the concept of calling everyone Chuck, as well. So if everyone was Chuck, everyone could also be Buckethead. Side note: A classic expression to greet another person, which I also jocked from Albert, was What s up Chuck? e. Horror Flicks Buckethead has an obsession with Horror Flicks, most notably the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the Friday the 13th series with Michael Myers. i. Texas Chainsaw Massacre I asked Texas for help. If they helped me pull off the Buckethead concept, there would be a metaphorical Texas Chainsaw Massacre. When I was in High-School, I transferred to McAllen Memorial. Marcus Perez is one of the first friends I made upon transferring. On one occasion, he invited me out to a Texas Chainsaw Massacre double feature. It was gruesome. I wanted to remember Marcus because he is an awesome friend and, also, for political reasons. ii. Michael Myers May 12, 2011 took place 40 months after I would unjustly be abducted by the State of Texas to a mental health institution in Harlingen, TX. Luckily, for me, this date was a day before May, Friday the thirteenth. On account that I wanted to remember Freshmen year (and David Arjona), because of the Halloween marching show we did for Pigskin Jubilee, which included the Michael Myers theme, and

because most people consider Friday the 13th an unlucky day, and the opposite of unlucky is lucky; I chose the Michael Myer s theme to be Buckethead s Theme to signal May, Friday the thirteenth is a lucky day. f. Posture, Grace, and Body Language

Dan K. has a particular posture, grace, and body language. When he plays guitar, he sits in a very compact manner, with his back hunched over Quasimodo style, his guitar in the middle of his right quadricep, his knees tightly adjacent to each other pointing at an obtuse 155 angle on the planar x-axis, and his feet tightly adjacent to each other pointing at an obtuse 205 angle on the three-dimensional x,y,z-axis. Dan K. plays in a soulful, virtuosic style with sheer testosterone. He has the uncanny ability to execute any passage (virtuosic or not) flawlessly without looking at his hands/fingers. His shredding has a smooth, sometimes gooey, clearly articulated feel to it and it can be purely mechanical or embedded with carefully placed accelerando and deccelerando. To me, he pioneered an eccentric Bidextral unidirectional/multidirectional chromatic eight-finger tapping style, in which, either, each hand is systematically placed at minor 9th intervals or each finger confidently executes eccentrically obscure, but meticulously calculated, intervals that has the power to give me multiple eargasms when performed by Dan K.. Dan K. has a distinguishably noteworthy sweep picking technique in which he executes Quadratonal diminished 7th arpeggios cleanly at lightning speed with his hand floating freely, perpendicularly to the guitar strings, This technique has the power to make me feel euphoric when performed by Dan K.. His pinky is so strong! It is no accident that these signature Dan K. techniques are Buckethead s clearly intended trademarks. Dan K. has a tough, yet playful, body language that gives the impression he is always falling over; though he s no klutz, he only knocks shit over half the time. He always keeps a calm, cool, collected composure that gives a completely confident, easy going vibe that assures an air of tranquility, especially in cases of extreme pressure where everything is on the line. To fuck with your mental psyche, he sometimes makes a confused facial expression that makes you question, and become unsure of, everything spewing from your vocal chords. After hanging out so much with him, I started to mirror him and pick up some of his body language. To make fun of him (and honor his klutzy manner at the same time), I came up with a new way of personally greeting Dan K.. It involved asking What s up, Dank? (expressing his name, Dank, in an authoritatively low, tough, but retarded tone) and simultaneously raising my right foot, while leaning

towards my left in a falling fashion, while, in a twitchy, jerky, yet graceful motion, moving my right shoulder back and left shoulder forward, alternating that motion, and repeating the first one; all in the span of 1.3 seconds. Followed by horizontally slapping him five, at rib height level, creating friction by sliding my hand away from his, clasping our index, middle, annular, and pinky fingers in an S fashion, locking our hands for a split second, separating and culminating in punching fists with authority. Though Buckethead is known for zero theatricality when playing guitar, the klutzy, falling over Dan K. style is best exemplified by Buckethead in the original Help! Help! Help! rendition that took place at the Crossroads, KS show in 2009. V. Death Cube K

Death Cube K is an anagrammatical pseudonym for Buckethead. If one takes the photo negative of a picture of Buckethead, the light spectrum rendition one observes is the image of Death Cube K. a. Anagram of Buckethead i. What s an anagram? Merriam-Webster s Collegiate Dictionary Eleventh Edition defines anagram as:
1

anagram \a -n -,gram\ - n [prob. fr. MF anagramme, fr. NL anagrammat-, anagramma, modif. Of GK

anagrammatismos, fr.anagrammatizein to transpose letters, fr.ana- + grammat-, gramma letter more at GRAM] (1589) 1 : a word or phrase made by transposing the letters of another word or phrase 2 pl but sing in constr : a game in which words are formed by rearranging the letters the letters of other words or by arranging letters taken (as from a stock of cards or blocks) at random an a gram mat ic \,a-n -gr - ma-tik\ also an a gram mat i cal \-tik-k l\ adj an a gram mat i cal ly\-ti-k( -)l \ adv
2

anagram vt grammed; -gram-ming(1630) 1 : ANAGRAMMATIZE 2 :to rearrange (the letters of a text) in

order to discover a hidden message

Original intent of anagram in this explanation uses the first definition of the first entry in combination with the second definition of the second entry.

ii. How it developed In coming up with ways to remind me that Dan K. is original Buckethead, I noticed that the name Buckethead had the initials of his name and surname, D and K, respectively. So I wrote out the name

Buckethead and below it I wrote D________K, while scratching out those two letters above it. Immediately, I saw that the word Death could be completed by adding eath to the D from the remaining letters. So I scratched those out. The only letters left were Buc and e and the obvious choice that leaped from my notebook was Cube . And that s how the pseudonym Death Cube K was born. Thinking in the frame of mirrors and opposites, an alternative came to mind: Life Sphere J. Where Life is the opposite of Death, Sphere is the opposite of Cube, and J is the mirror of K in the English Alphabet. The initials are LSJ. This, to me, meant that if Lindsay chose to share my last name (Sandoval), that it could join us for eternity: Lindsay Sandoval Juan. i. The Story Behind it

I made up a bullshit story for the purpose of Death Cube K that said: Buckethead got caught in the middle of legal disputes with his record label and they would not allow him to release any music under the name Buckethead. Buckethead came up with a pseudonym in order to clandestinely release music. VI. The deal with the Buckethead Story

There was no way I could publish the original story I came up with to explain Buckethead. But, I was aware that he would have some explaining to do, if he was going to pull of the idea that he had been around forever. In order to not give away the idea that one puts water in buckets, I thought to myself, What else do people put in buckets? Chicken! and then I improvised a farfetched, yet humorous,

story explaining the origin of Buckethead. a. Buckethead Story (Video) Todd Engstrom (Ehnstrom) looked like a Russian, but spoke like a redneck. Lindsay is a country girl. I combined that with the idea that chickens are raised on farms in the country. Rednecks are usually found in the country side. So in order to mock Todd Engstrom (Ehnstrom) and simultaneously remember Lindsay, I wanted Buckethead to be found by a redneck farmer named Bob. The character playing Bob, had to be an individual with superb improvisational story telling abilities, like my friend Mandito. The only line I wanted Bob to say, that I wrote is, they re gonna name a candy bar after us. The candy bar signaled Willy Wonka. Side note: In the 1970 s rendition of Charlie and Chocolate Factory, starring Gene Wilder, Willy Wonka sings a song called Pure Imagination. This incites the memory to use my imagination and that anything is possible. At the end of the video, I wanted Original Buckethead (Dan K.) to sit on the edge of a tiny bed, in the original Daniel Krumland guitar playing pose

(which I described earlier), and bust out a jaw-dropping shred performance, which includes the sounds of clucking chickens and the signature Bidextral unidirectional/multidirectional eight-finger tapping with the eccentrically obscure intervals that could make me have multiple eargasms. b. Raised in a Coop by Chickens Farmer Bob Hack alleges that he found Buckethead in a KFC Bucket and that he stuck him in a chicken coop and that chickens raised him and took him in as one of their own. The story is completely analogous to what happened to me in Dobie Center during the course of Spring and Fall 2007, the chicken coop being analogous to Dobie Center. i. Chicks When I lived in Dobie Center, I made it my mission to meet as many attractive women as possible. I mostly associated with women I found extremely attractive. When speaking in slang, a chick always refers to a female. Like Buckethead, I was raised alongside many chicks (females). ii. Cock Every chicken coop has a cock. The only cock (male) I mostly associated with at Dobie Center is Daniel Krumland. This is ironic because the word cock may be used to refer to a male rooster or to the member of the male genitalia. In slang, when someone is of remarkable ability at something people say you re the shit. The Spanish equivalent of you re the shit is eres Bien Verga . This makes full circle because Dan K. is the shit at playing guitar, in Spanish you would say Dan K. es una verga para la guitarra, verga being Spanish for the member of the male genitalia, and the word cock being an English Language slang variation for the member of the male genitalia. iii. Coup When I first saw the word coup in my Latin American Politics Class, I pronounced it the way coop is pronounced. It was used in the context of a revolutionary political uprising, coup d etat (a sudden decisive exercise of force in politics; especially the violent overthrow or alteration of an existing government by a small group). I had no idea that coup is a French word pronounced \k\. One of my neighbors, Mayra Camacho, which also lived on the fourth floor Fall 2007 with Daniel Krumland and I, had a particular way of pronouncing the word cookie. She would pronounce it \k-k \, once again pointing to the fact Buckethead was raised alongside chicks in a chicken coop.

c. Disneyland Buckethead claims everyone always treated him badly because he is so different. Many people treated me badly growing up, as well, for being so different. Buckethead claims that he would go to Disneyland (side note: Disneyland is in Anaheim, California), sometimes he would even sneak in. He states that everyone was really nice him there. Even though they were paid to be nice to him, it didn t bother him because he felt like he fit in. Buckethead wanted to get a job in the It s Small World but he always got rejected. That was my situation in Austin, TX. When I moved to Austin, TX (a place that stresses individuality Be Weird ) I finally, for the first time in my life, felt like I fit in and belonged somewhere.

Everyone was really nice and people were not alarmed by my eccentricities, though I still freaked out a small portion. I always wanted a job in Austin, TX (as a Rockstar), but never quite figured it out until I had to leave December 2007. d. Birthdate The official birthdate I designated for Buckethead is August, 17, 1969. This was the day Jimi Hendrix was supposed to headline the Woodstock Festival that took place in Woodstock, NY 1969. The reason I chose this date is because I had an obsession with The Improvisation Jimi Hendrix played during the first fifty-nine seconds after Purple Haze. Jimi Hendrix first etched his guitar print in American Counterculture in the summer of 1967, dubbed the Summer of Love, at the Monterey Pop Festival, which took place in Monterey, CA. I don t believe in coincidences, Nothing happens that isn t supposed to happen. I was born in Monterrey, NL, Mexico. The year, 2007 was the year I invented the Buckethead concept; which is forty years after 1967. The University of Texas at Austin, which I was currently attending, stands on forty acres. I Love Lindsay. My lucky number is 17 and she was 19 years young the last time I saw her. Forty years after 1971 (1971 is a number in which 19 directly mirrors 17) is 2011. On December 10, 2011 I will turn 25. 25 is a number in which in my alarm clock the 2 is a perfect mirror of 5. During 2007, I mirrored Lindsay and her expressions all semester during MUS 302L. I sat to the left of Lindsay. Jimi Hendrix is a left-handed guitarist. e. 37 Albums Too add to Buckethead s credibility as a recording artist, I wanted him to have multitudes of albums, 37 to be exact. I knew it was going to be a lot of work for Dan K. and I wanted to slightly contribute to the collection.

i. Why 37? The e-mail address I use for most day to day business is fredster37@hotmail.com. The password to that email includes the number 420. 420 is the universal number that denotes cannabis. I knew when I checked my email I would have to type in the password, which had the number 420. If I saw typed the number 420 I would remember cannabis, if I remembered cannabis I would remember Dro, if I remembered Dro, I would remember it grows in water, and if I remembered Dro that grows in water, I would remember Buckethead. ii. Production Having a record label involves lots of money and contracts, and there was no way we could make it look like Buckethead had been around since the 1980s if we only we mainstream through a respected record label.

1. Mom and Pop I figured it would be cheaper to personally produce limited quantities of first edition albums, claiming they were from times pre-2007, evading greedy record labels. The cool thing about this is that it could be kept underground and we could control all aspects of production. 2. Limited Originals I had the basics of economics down by December 2007. I know the market revolves around supply and demand. High supply and low demand means one must sell a product at a lower rate to move the merchandise. Low supply and high demand means the seller may choose to sell at reasonable prices, and if the seller is greedy, at exorbitant prices. Having limited, first edition copies means that because demand is high, we may sell at any price we deem reasonable. 3. Mainstream Buckethead is an individual that wishes to be kept underground. There is one song that has the mainstream formula mass audiences will enjoy listening. While Jordan is a good song, I don t enjoy it as much as the original Daniel Krumland style. iii. Album Art

Having 37 albums means that a team or individual must produce, minimally, 37 album covers. If one chooses to have an amazing album, one would also include a booklet with additional art and information about the album. 1. Samantha Worrell Samantha Worrell was my first girlfriend. She was a left-handed artist/painter and played a candy red electric guitar. She introduced me to many of the first bands I truly got obsessed with. One time, she emailed me a series of art works she produced with Microsoft Paint, all of them individually hilarious, though eccentric. This type of art would suit Buckethead s album covers perfectly. I knew I d be able to recognize Samantha Worrell s art ANYWHERE, especially if it was the hilarious, eccentric style. So I asked my team to beg her, on my behalf, to exclusively do ALL the album art for me. Thanks Sam. f. Brian Patrick Carroll

I knew everyone would question Buckethead s true identity. Para despistar el enemigo (to throw off the enemy) and protect Daniel Krumland, I came up with the individual Brian Patrick Carroll. He was going to have to be a California (because Disneyland is in California) surfer guy, with long dark hair. i. Carroll Texas Longhorns won the 2005 Rosebowl in the last 15 seconds of the fourth quarter because Vince Young pulled a mamada when he had no open receivers and was forced to run into the end zone, setting up a chance for a 41-38 victory over reigning two time champions USC Trojans. Even though Reggie Bush got the Heisman Trophy that season, we all know who deserved it. I knew if I was going to pull off the Buckethead, I was going to have to pull off something similar to what Vince Young did to win the Rosebowl for the Texas Longhorns. Even though it was Vince who ran in the touchdown, the man behind Texas Football is Mack Brown. In my story of opposites, Mack Brown opposed Pete Carroll in the Rosebowl. So in honor of the bullshit theme I had to choose the opposite of Carroll, Brown, because brown is the color of bullshit. ii. Patrick Patrick Sheridan is a virtuoso tuba player that performed Flight of the Tubabee, an arrangement of Rimsky-Korsakov s Flight of the Bumblebee, on a CD that my best friend, Carlos Fabela, showed me one time at the height of his tuba obsession during middle school. Daniel Krumland, to me, is a virtuoso

guitarist that can play anything I can tongue (see electromagnetic frequency technology for more information), tuba is an instrument you tongue. Todd Engstrom (Ehnstrom?), to me, looked like a Russian. So I chose the middle name, Patrick, to signal Russian, because Patrick Sheridan performed a piece by Russian composer Rimsky-Korsakov. iii. Brian Summer before junior year, I went on a road trip with my friend Ham and a couple of other people, Brian included. We had no cannabis and we wanted to get high. Brian convinced me to buy a case of whippets, but we had no whippet opener, so we couldn t use them. I told Brian I had no use for the whippets and told him he owed me $20 for the case I purchased. He said he d pay me back, something that never happened. The damage Todd Engstrom (Ehnstrom) did, to me, was in the amount of, minimally, $20 dollars. That does not include the emotional value attached to the beer I purchased legally for the first time on my twenty-first birthday. iv. Bullshit Russian that owes me $20 (plus damages) So, if you mirror all the meanings of the names attached to Buckethead s real identity, one sees that it spells out, Bullshit Russian that owes me $20 (plus damages). g. Herbie Buckethead has no voice, so he speaks through a puppet named Herbie. i. The Movie There is a movie named Herbie, which stars American Actress Lindsay Lohan. The movie is about a car (with a personality) that used to be a winner, becomes a clunker, and becomes a winner again with the Love of Lindsay. I too was a winner that became a clunker and became a winner (again) with the Love of Lindsay [Morrison]. ii. Van Halen At the moment when Herbie is gonna be massacred by monster trucks, Lindsay miraculously finds Herbie, jumps inside him and Van Halen s Jump starts playing. When Lindsay is inside Herbie, together, they manage to take out the meanest, monster truck there. h. Buckethead s Theme

Buckethead has a theme and it is the theme of Michael Myers. I chose this theme because the date May 12, 2011 (5/12, 512 is Austin s Area code) is forty (UT Austin is on forty acres) months after I got locked away in the mental hospital. Luck of the draw has it that May Friday the 13th (The Notorious Michael Myers movie series) is a day after May 12, 2011. When I noticed that in the middle of my planning, I automatically had to choose the Michael Myers theme as Buckethead s theme to denote May Friday the 13th, 2011 was a lucky day. Lucky, indeed, it was. i. Bucketheadland

Since Buckethead could not get a job at Disneyland, he decided to open up a theme park called Bucketheadland, a place where all your nightmares come true. In my story of analogous opposites, this refers to Austin, TX, a place where all my dreams come true. j. The Deli Creeps

The Deli Creeps is Buckethead s first band, with Brain, Bernie Worrell, and Bootsy Collins [?]. i. Deli s I chose this because I love to eat sandwiches. From Quizno s, to Subway, to Wich Which, to the exquisite delicacies from the Dobie Center Cafeteria, I love sandwiches all around. ii. Creep I purposely said some pretty messed up things to Lindsay at the end of the semester, especially one time when I invited a bunch of friends out to eat via text message. Her, at the time, boyfriend messaged me back from her phone in an offensive manner. I told him off and the last response I ever got from Lindsay was a text message that said Creep. Therefore, If Lindsay ever delved into Buckethead, she would see the word Creep and perhaps remember the last text message she ever sent to the number 956-4510372. k. Credibility I had previous experience in creating credibility for questionable unknowns, if interested, look up the story of Fredster17 in Microsoft s MSN Gaming Zone 2001. The only way to make Buckethead seem credible was to have near infinite original material and to collaborate with known artists and bands. I

had to leave this part for Daniel Krumland to choose and figure out. I knew some of his influences, but not all of them. These are the bands he chose: iii. Bands 1. Praxis 2. System of a Down 3. Rage Against the Machine 4. Guns and Roses iv. Solo Work At the end of the day, Dan K. could only rely on himself for credibility. He took the liberty of performing, by himself, with previously composed and recorded music made with a TonePro via Garageband. Some notable works include: y y y y y y y y y y Nottingham Lace Padamasana (Named after a yoga pose I would do in the mental hospital) I love my parents Help! Help! Help! Big Sur Moon Hanging Cheese Revenge of the Double Man (Dedicated to Todd Engstrom (Ehnstrom?) Candy Man An Improvised Album: Electric Tears An Improvised Album: Acoustic Shards

v. Interviews Buckethead doesn t talk, so it s hard to get an interview with him. There are few authentic interviews with Buckethead, four notable ones. Riffage: This particular interview has questions, some typed by Daniel Krumland, others by unknown. Most Buckethead replies are typed by Daniel Krumland, others by unknown. When people write, they have their own distinguishable voice and particular tone. The way I could verify Daniel Krumland s voice

on the telephone when I listen to it, is the same way I can verify Daniel Krumland s written voice, when I read it, and listen to it in my head. (CD File Buckethead Interview 01 for actual interview) VH1 Kurt Loder Interview: From my understanding, this is Daniel Krumland s writing again. (CD File Buckethead Interview 02 for actual interview) The third interview remains at large. I read it once. It described the musical components of the Buckethead (Dan K.) style to some extent, notably scales and the Bidextral multidirectional chromatics. It may have already been pulled off the internet. I read the fourth, and final, authentic interview on April 19, 2011. It has the voice of my first best friend Manuel Sanchez. After the vividly, descriptive vocabulary Manuel Sanchez would use in second grade, it transitions into my last best friend s voice, Daniel Krumland. The only way to verify the veracity of the author would be to get random writing samples from different eras of Manuel Sanchez and Daniel Krumland. One will find the Manuel Sanchez style I am referring to is from works second grade and the Daniel Krumland writing style in works from 2007. VII. The Buckethead Virtuoso, Soulful Style

The Original Buckethead Virtuoso, Soulful Style is the exact same one I described of Daniel Krumland, which can be found in Section IV, article f. But there are several genres, in which Buckethead has original compositions, which had be included in order to recognize it was Dan K. representing my Love for Lindsay. a. Genres i. Metal I chose Metal first because Dan K. was at the height of his obsession with Metal Music when I met him and when I departed. ii. Country I chose Country because Lindsay has a liking to Country music. That was the only type of music I recall her saying she personally enjoyed. iii. Avant-Garde

I chose Avant-Garde because Dan K. was advancing a personal style of his own that is unlike anything else I ve ever heard. iv. Jazz Fusion I don t specifically recall asking for Jazz Fusion, but Jazz Fusion has a semblance to Metal and some of the other music Dan K. is into. He had to have amalgamated this genre into the style. v. Classical I chose classical because I took MUS 302L at UT Austin with Lindsay. That class was about Western music from Plainchant (800) all the way to Rap (1990 s), but its focus was primarily on Baroque, Classical, and Romantic Eras of Western Music. vi. Acoustic Sometimes we have no access to electricity and all we have is an acoustic; I don t remember specifically asking for this genre, but the only pictures I remember of Daniel Krumland on Facebook with a guitar, were ones with an acoustic guitar. So this genre makes sense. vii. Electronic This is a reference to Lady Gaga (see The Perfection ). This style includes Galaxian laser sounding music and R2-D2 type sounds. viii. Covers Buckethead hardly plays any covers besides the Michael Myer s theme, which is also the Buckethead Theme. The other covers I ve heard are as follows. 1. Star Wars Star Wars had a profound impact in my life, not only musically, but the personal meaning I attached to it. Do or do not, there is no try Yoda, Return of the Jedi

Buckethead covers the following songs. a. Star Wars Theme

When I first joined band, I wanted to play saxophone, trumpet, or drums. There were already too many people on those instruments. When my first band director, Ms. Keller, demonstrated the French Horn, she played the Star Wars Theme. I was immediately sold. b. Imperial March I figured out the Imperial March from a CD I checked out from the McAllen Public Library. I really enjoyed the in your face quality it had, it sounded so dark. c. The Force Theme Ms. Keller taught me how to play The Force Theme first by demonstrating it, and then by writing out the notes on the back of a memo pad paper. When I listen to her play Horn it inspires me so much. When I heard Buckethead play The Force Theme it gave me so much hope. Thank you Ms. Keller. 2. Pure Imagination See Section VI, article a., sentence ten. 3. Jimi Hendrix At the moment of this whole fiasco, I had just figured out why Hendrix would do what he did when he played and how he would do it. a. Stone Free Stone Free is arguably the first full length song Jimi Hendrix wrote for The Jimi Hendrix Experience. This song embodied many of the values I personally held at the time, namely: Smoking cannabis and not being tied down by any female(s). I also wrote a piece for MUS 302L based on the Live version from the performance at the Fillmore East in on New Year s Eve 1969-1970. b. Foxey Lady Foxey Lady (From the album Are you Experienced? ), is one of the few songs I knew in its entirety. I performed it Live for Molly Hammond. c. Machine Gun

This is a Vietnam Protest that came out when Jimi Hendrix collaborated with The Band of Gypsys (Billy Cox Bass, Buddy Miles Drums) and developed the improvised jam session style that favored longer songs. Machine Gun is song which holds many of the beliefs I feel are unjust about war, and is arguably the hardest song from the Jimi Hendrix catalog of music. My favorite version is from Live at the Fillmore East, second favorite is from Blue Wild Angel. b. Defining Characteristics The Defining Buckethead characteristics are as follows, but more thoroughly explained in article V, section f. i. Scales and Modes The following scales can be found in the Buckethead repertoire. I found out the names of the scales in the third interview I mentioned in section VI, article k., sub-section iii. The Scales can be combined in infinitely many ways; Buckethead does not limit himself to patterns. The following is a personal interpretation of what I hear in the music of Buckethead. You be the judge. 1. Phrygian The Phrygian Mode has a spacey sound to it. 2. Mixolydian The Mixolydian Mode has a jubilant, but inquisitive sound to it. 3. Melodic Minor The Melodic Minor Scale has an obscure sound, with a tinge of sadness. 4. Harmonic Minor The Harmonic Minor scale has a longing, yet melancholic sound ii. Quadratonal Diminished 7th Arpeggios Quadratonal Diminished 7th Arpeggios were introduced in article V, section f., but the Buckethead/Dan K. employ them is as follows: 1. Sweeps

The sweeps, when using the previously mentioned arpeggio, sound dark, mysterious, but sometimes hurried and hyper. iii. Bidextral Multidirectional Chromatics Bidextral Multidirectional Chromatic were previously introduced in article V, section f, but will be interpreted as follows. 1. Minor 9th Intervals This sounds like a scene from the cartoon Tom and Jerry, when Tom is chasing Jerry. 2. Turu-Turu, Turu-Turu I have dubbed the eccentrically, obscure Bidextral multidirectional tapping intervals Turu-Turu, TuruTuru. This is because towards the end of the Fall 2007 semester Dan K. had become obsessed with this style he was pioneering and advancing. It seemed that this was all he would play. I told him, Not everyone likes listening to Turu-Turu, Turu-Turu and he paused, looked at me, and continued playing Turu-Turu, Turu-Turu . I asked him to embed this into the Buckethead repertoire because it is Dan K. s trademark. iv. Slap-Guitar Buckethead slaps the guitar with his thumb and pulls with his pinky. There seems to be a Guthrie Govan influence. v. Shredder Buckethead has the ability to shred endlessly, sometimes what some call Soulless Shredding. This adds to the folklore that Buckethead is part robot. vi. Chicken Pickin Since Buckethead was raised by chickens, he picked up the language and can make chicken clucking sounds with his chicken pickin . vii. Improvisation

Buckethead employs all these and other techniques, but mostly these, when he improvises. The best improvisations are 1 minute and 23 seconds long: Succinct, to the point, but mind blowing. He improvises most, if not all, of the solos in his live performances. Most of his improvisations are organic and seem to grow in and out of each other. c. Amorphous The best aspect about Buckethead is that, arguably, anyone can play this character. I choose to reserve it, exclusively, for Daniel Krumland and I. The amorphous quality of Buckethead is that he does not have to conform to any mainstream music and can play whatever he wants. The more random the [music] the better, but there is usually a method to the madness. Though I am the creator, the moment I make any public performance appearance(s) I will always be judged as New School Buckethead. I personally favor Old School Buckethead (Daniel Krumland). VIII. YouTube Videos

The main source of Buckethead videos are uploaded by unknown YouTube account holders. Buckethead welcomes filming of his live shows, though he claims not to upload any himself. How can he do it if he is the one performing? a. (Near) Unlimited Live Recordings Last time I typed in Buckethead on YouTube, the results brought back over 100,000 hits and 50 pages full of videos; some originals, some imposters, and some wannabes. Original (Old School) Buckethead has performed in myriad places and the best videos could be found in a couple of YouTube accounts. One will be examined in further detail. i. Originals Most of the videos are original Dan K. repertoire and performance. One can only tell which one is original by Tone, Grace, Body Language, and the forearms of the performer. ii. Chickenhead Though Chickenhead is supposed to appear in the back of every performance, I recall one specific black and white video where you can see Chickenhead hanging out, kind of looks like he loitering. b. That 1 Guy

That 1 Guy (that s his name) is the only person that could probably open for Buckethead. He is almost as obscure as him. He plays an unknown instrument that makes unrecognizable unlikely sounds, but sounds awesome. c. Buckethead Solo (awesome) There is a video on YouTube called Buckethead Solo (awesome) (CD File Buckethead Solo (awesome) ) in which Buckethead does an epic improvisation that lasts 1 minute and 23 seconds. This was the third Buckethead video I ever saw, the first one is Young Buckethead Vol. 1 (CD File Young Buckethead Vol. 1 ) followed by Buckethead s story (CD File Buckethead s story ). The interesting thing about this video is that the first time I saw Buckethead solo (awesome), it was a completely different video from the one that is currently uploaded on YouTube. The video prominently displayed Buckethead, with his right arm at the left of the screen, sleeves rolled up to elbow level, the mask, and the bucket. Buckethead (Dan K.) played all his signature licks and culminated with his right hand freely floating perpendicularly across the guitar strings at blazing speed, while playing two Quadratonal diminished 7th arpeggios. The only way this could have happened is that someone intercepted the YouTube website I requested and put an HD webcam on Buckethead (Daniel Krumland) while doing a live broadcast intended only for my eyes. The only way to verify this would be to check my brain and everything it saw between August 1, 2009 and September 13, 2009. If the YouTube record, that came from the IP address from my home can be checked, I saw the video after I saw Young Dimebag Darrell SOLO (CD File Young Dimebag Darrell SOLO). d. Petesbloodyhand When I went on my first Buckethead frenzy, after I figured out it was Dan K., all the videos I saw were mostly from YouTube account holder Petesbloodyhand. He is now banned because of copyright infringement, which surprises me because Buckethead encourages recording of his live show and trading of bootleg videos. His account was home to over 200 different live performance videos, many of them in HD quality. I highly urge a knowledgeable computer forensic scientist to dig up the videos from the account, and if possible, the account user information. e. Nevermind

There is one video of Buckethead, supposedly from the DVD Young Buckethead Vol. 1 that allegedly took place in 1991. It shows Buckethead with long hair and a different mask. I asked my team, for the

first Buckethead video to be from 1991. This ties back to Samantha Worrell. The first great band she got me into [Nirvana], and the first song with solo I ever learned completely was Smells like teen spirit, from the critically acclaimed album Nevermind, which was released 1991. In my story of opposites, when I saw the year 1991 next to the name of Buckethead, it was signal to Always Mind. IX. Buckethead vs. Dan K.

On a phone call that took place a few days before Christmas Day 2009, I had my first phone call with Daniel Krumland after not speaking with him verbally in over two years. It was a lengthy, but very emotional conversation for me. It was so hard for me not to cry out of joy and confusion. Daniel claimed it was the best conversation he had all year and in one instance I told asked him, Are you Buckethead? No, I m Dan K. he replied. (Even though I did not believe him because he said it in a way sarcastic tone of voice) I don t even like Buckethead s music Dan explained. If I had a million dollars and there was a guitar duel between you and Buckethead, I would put all my money on you I said. We talked about other things and then Daniel brought up this fact with a Freudian slip, [According to Merriam-Webster s Dictionary, a Freudian slip is a slip of the tongue that is motivated by and reveals some unconscious aspect of the mind ] When you said if there was a guitar duel between me and Buckethead, and you said you d put all your money on Buckethead, it made me feel so good. I was thoroughly perplexed when he said that. a. Three Known Bucketheads Buckethead comes in three flavors: creator, original, and imposter. i. Creator I, Juan Arnulfo Sandoval, am the official creator of Buckethead. 1. The one that looks and makes mistakes

There is a rendition of Buckethead on YouTube that has my grace, body language, and forearms. This particular version of Buckethead looks at neck while playing the guitar. He also makes an occasional mistake here and there during his life performance, just like me. 2. JAS Originals There are some pieces that Buckethead performs that are based on or exact copies of material that I have written in the privacy of my home. There are two ways I have concluded that my music got out. Either A) I am under constant, permanent video and audio surveillance or B) I am subject and victim to Electromagnetic Frequencies. a. (See Electromagnetic Frequency Weapons Article) Electromagnetic Frequencies, as I intended them to work through me (explained in The Perfection ), were supposed to have access to all images perceived by my brain, all sounds perceived by my brain, and any other brain activity. Electromagnetic frequency weapons were intended to have me connect to people Kinect style; in either a) other people controlling my body and thoughts or b) me controlling other people s body and thoughts. b. Perfection through Buckethead Through electromagnetic frequencies, my tongue is supposed to be directly synchronized and connected to Dan K. s hands and playing manner. Anything I could conjure up in my wildest dreams and/or imagination, I believed, would be able to emanate from his being through his guitar. ii. Original Most of this explanation has been dedicated to explaining Original (Old School) Buckethead, which is Daniel Krumland. 1. The Perfect One Daniel Krumland plays flawlessly, and I have never seen him make a mistake on any YouTube video. There was a moment where he twitched and played a wrong note, but I would like to argue that was the moment I entered his body [through electromagnetic frequencies] and it was me playing the wrong note. The rest of the performance was flawless of course. iii. Imposter

Imposter is the Buckethead that is neither Dan K. nor Juan S. I have a feeling that he does not even exist and is a product of what I have dubbed live videoshop. Modifying still photos is to Photoshop as modifying live video is to videoshop. One occasion, a day [I saw Colt McCoy with sun in bleached hair at the UTPA Library] I have dubbed Receivers Day (no coincidence that Jordan Shipley is Colt McCoy s favorite Receiver during the Colt McCoy Texas Longhorn era and that Jordan is, arguably, the most popular Buckethead song) I played several of my favorite videos at Carlos Fabela s domicile. One video being Young Buckethead Vol. 1, that is the video where I first noticed my nose on the Buckethead mask. On Receivers Day the mask from that video had an ever morphing nose that never stopped changing, and at one moment, the Buckethead mask even turned into my mom s face with no expression. The other video is Buckethead Interview. It clearly and prominently displayed Dan K. asking questions, his friend Adam imitating Dan K. s voice, and at the end it had Erin Davis saying Buckethead, I have ALL your CD s and it ended with a hearty laugh of my cousin Pablo Adolfo. 1. The Tense One with skimpy, covered forearms The videoshop imposter completely covers his forearms, has veiny hands, and plays in an extremely tense manner. He sucks balls. He is not smooth or graceful. He can play a repulsive virtuosic style. I am not impressed. He actually is insert worst possible insult here. b. The Impossible Duel I would like to conclude with the fact that it is impossible for Original (Old School) Buckethead to appear in the same room or court, for that matter, as Daniel Krumland (being that Daniel Krumland IS original Buckethead). If Imposter in fact, does exist and is NOT videoshopped, shows up in the place of Buckethead and Daniel Krumland is in the same room, any true Buckethead fan (me) could tell them apart by listening to a single, solitary note without any Mistortion. End. P.S. Danny, I m sorry for engulfing your life with endless bullshit, but thanks!