The Fear of Failure and the Insecurity of Success

Over the last 15 years I have seen hundreds of people joining Garden City Toastmasters Club (GCTC) with the objective of improving their communication and leadership skills in general. Along with the desire to excel, the yearning to be appreciated, praised and recognized is innate to most of them, if not all. The generously heavy doses of mutual attention, applause and accolades administered to the members at our meetings can be intoxicating at times. Soon seeking glory and being in the spotlight replace the original objectives. Self and collective development are hindered as hot pursuit of power, authority and personal fame and pride begins and equated with real success. Sometimes, I have wondered and asked myself is that what keeps them in and brings them back to Toastmasters week after week and is that the reason why I have been around for 15 years? Contrast this with many a member vanishing from the Toastmasters after receiving critical comments and evaluation about their weak areas in communication and leadership. Thus, to the vulnerable, even a mild criticism or showering of excessive praise will have its accompanying pitfalls and perils. Fear of failure is common but insecurity of success is on the rise as more and more people become protective of their image and standing. It is well known that fear and failure, embarrassment of getting mocked at, performance anxiety, criticism and attack on self esteem prevent people from taking to public speaking. One can rest assured of getting over all these at Toastmasters over a period of time through consistent effort. Unlike other platforms and organizations, evaluation and feedback are the most significant part of the Toastmasters programme. The challenge before Toastmasters is different. What is the right amount of praise that does not let the members get carried away and what is the right amount of critical evaluation that does not drive members out of Toastmasters are the mute questions that the analytical minds are still grappling with. Well, I think the answer lies both in the way the message of praise and criticism is communicated and the way it is received by the person at whom it is directed. The inherent frailty and fragility of human moods, sensibilities and temperament are too complex and enormous to be dealt with easily and completely. In this context, the importance of constructive feedback and evaluation cannot be stressed more. That said, the fact remains that majority of people like appreciation, genuine or pretentious, and would be unhappy with criticism. Whether constructive or damaging, a well-rounded and balanced personality will know how to take both praise and criticism into

his/her stride dispassionately. This quality helps one to remain firmly focused on what one actually set out to do and to achieve it without much fanfare. While I muse on these thoughts, I am reminded of Lord Krishna speaking, in his Song Divine, at length about the pair of opposites and the necessity of exercising equanimity and equipoise to deal with different situations that life presents. Three namesakes of Lord Krishna led the way at GCTC with detachment to fruit and glory, and attachment to action in an exemplary manner. Simple, unassuming and affable each one of them has carved a niche for himself in the annals of GCTC. They were determined, deft and decisive in execution but were humbleness and humility personified while reaping success. Permanent smile was the main feature of their disposition and dealings. Krishna Prasad was a thorough gentleman and an astute businessman, always willing to be flexible and accommodative. Krishna Pai was a majestic statesman and was known for his sophistication and culture. His very presence at the meetings would uplift the mood and quality of the proceedings. Krishna Battula was the nicest and a remarkably courteous individual who would not hurt even an ant. I have had the good fortune of sharing a durable and much valued friendship with the Krishna Trinity. Krishna Prasad and I would find time with each other after the meetings and discuss topics ranging from painting exhibitions to the booming real estate business. The adventurous walk to Devanahalli undertaken by some members of GCTC that included Prasad and me gave us ample time to delve deeper on a number of interesting topics. I have always wondered how a calm, cool and composed person like him would manage a business successfully in todays competitive market environment. He has been a pillar of GCTC for over decade now. The preparations for the celebrations of 750th meeting brought Krishna Pai and me together. We worked closely on producing the Souvenir. He believed in Do it yourself and would lead from the front by taking initiative. I learned a lot from him about taking a team along and getting the best out of it by inspiring and by setting personal example. We would go around in his 10 lakh-plus worth car to meet designers and printers of the Souvenir. I had an old and an antique piece of a motorcycle. He was very fond of it and would frequently enquire about its health by asking how is your phat-phati.

The grand success of the celebration of 750 th meeting can be attributed to his style of functioning and leadership. To describe Krishna Batulla I cant find a better word than Saintly. Absolutely no pretensions in approach, he would stoop to conquer the hearts and minds of people around him. He was greatly inspired by the life and thoughts of Mahatma Gandhi and Abdul Kalam, the former president of India. He firmly believed and practiced in the concept of servant leadership and was very sensitivity to the needs of society. We found common and abiding interest in social work and love for nature. We together conducted spoken English classes for children from economically backward families by going to their schools and homes. He would spend money from his pocket for this cause. Amidst the green environs of GKVK and UAS, Hebbal we would go for long walks appreciating the beauty of nature at every step. His presence at GCTC had a soothing effect, particularly whenever clashes of inflated egos threatened to get the better of relationships. The equanimity and equipoise of the three Krishnas are something to be emulated. Highly successful both in personal and professional life, and as Toastmasters, the positions they held and the interactions and exercises they led only served to enrich the experience of Toastmasters. For them, I believe, Toastmasters was a means to meet people from different walks of life, exchange pleasantries and take them along in the long and endless journey of learning and sharing. Surrendering and submitting themselves to better ideas, enlightening thoughts and unselfish efforts came naturally to them. Scoring points by arguing, dominating discussions, sitting in judgement, demanding attention, belittling or ridiculing and arrogance of success were totally alien to them. They practiced and promoted a culture of understanding and co-operation in the Club that holds it in good stead even to this day. I have been a beneficiary, like many other Toastmasters, of the rich legacy of good conduct and love that they have left behind. When they presided over the meetings and functions during their tenures as presidents, I used to feel - they also serve who sit, watch and listen and, speak only when and what is required for they were neither afraid of failure nor insecure in success for both are transitory. On this very special occasion of 1000th meeting celebration of GCTC, I commemorate my association with the three Krishnas through this eulogy for them. Not in the least would they be in need of my appreciation and praise. The glowing tribute that I am paying them is their due. Even if it is found to be excessive, I am sure they will take it into their stride with their

usual calmness and detachment. They are the true role models for aspiring leaders and effective communicators.

Zulfikhar Akram, CTM GCTC