Wrestling with God

July 31, 2011

by John Partridge

Scripture: Genesis 32:22-31

Matthew 14:13-21

Two weeks ago I mentioned that struggling with scripture is okay and in fact, I think, is important. Struggling with scripture means that we care about getting things right and not just reading the things that we want to see there. When we struggle with scripture we open ourselves to be changed by it. The thing is, scripture is not the only thing that we struggle with. As we read scripture and was we draw closer to God, we often find that he asks us to do things that we didnt expect, things that go farther that we thought they would, or asks us to do things that we have proclaimed (sometimes loudly) that we would never do. In these times, we wrestle with God. It is times like these that act like spoiled children. We shout at God, we kick and scream (and even bite if necessary) as we hear God calling and we shout NO! I dont wanna! into his face. This morning I want to begin by telling you all a story about how Patti and I have wrestled with God. In 1998 or 1999 I was gainfully employed as an engineer and made a decent salary. We werent rich but we had a nice house outside the suburbs, seven acres of land, a big garden, a pony, a few cows, some rabbits, some chickens and all things considered, although we were a little mortgage poor, we did okay. About that time, as we studied scripture at church, in Sunday school, and in our weekly Bible study we began to feel that God had plans for us. Our backgrounds and education were a little unusual for it, but Patti and I both began to have an inescapable feeling that God was calling us to some kind of ministry. We didnt know what kind of ministry God might have in mind but we thought that because some friends of ours were soon to retire from missionary service, that maybe God was calling us in that direction. In any case, the one thing that we were fairly certain of was that whatever it was that God wanted us to do, the time had not yet come. Gods clear message to both of us was, Not yet. Fast forward a few years to 2000 or 2001. That year our church had a weekend series of revival type services geared toward spiritual renewal. That weekend I heard Gods call stronger than ever but what I was hearing was that I was holding too tightly to the things, and the people, that God had given to me. I had accepted that God might call us to ministry but my wife and my family were my responsibility. Ministry or no ministry, I felt that my wife and my family were mine to care for and to watch over but that weekend, I found that God would not let that attitude persist. We were challenged to consider what God wanted us to surrender to him, to think about what things or what people we were holding so tightly to, that it was holding us back from fully trusting God. Before the weekend was over, I found myself at the altar of the church giving my wife and my family to God and trusting that whatever he chose to do, I would trust him to care for them. Once it was over, it seemed like an anticlimax. Once I had surrendered, I felt better, I knew that the wrestling match with God was over but then nothing happened. There was no great revelation about what God had planned for us. Our pastor didnt suddenly say that God was calling us to do some great thing. There was no unexpected phone call that asked us to go into ministry. What happened was pretty much nothing. Life went on like normal the same as before for another year or so. 1

In 2002 I was called into my bosss office and informed that my services were no longer needed. There had been no warning, there had been no bad reviews, and there had been no rumors of financial trouble or layoffs. I liked my job and I thought things were going well and then BLAM! I struggled with being laid off. I cried. I screamed at God and then after a while I started reading and studying scripture in a way that I never had before. I looked for work. The job market was supposed to be good. I had a degree from a good school, I had solid work experience, but still, for reasons that no one could explain, I couldnt get an interview anywhere. I did get one or two, but nothing came of them and I kept reading and studying. Growing up in a pastors house and having a pastor for a father, I had spent nearly forty years of my life swearing that I would never be a pastor. Serve on any committee in the church? Fine. Volunteer to help out with almost anything? Fine. Serve on some mission field? As long as we could deal with Pattis health issues, then, fine. But being a pastor asked me to give up things that I didnt want to give up and commit to things that I didnt want to commit to. I knew what it was like to move to different school systems because I attended school in four school districts between Kindergarten and High School. I knew what it was like and I didnt want my children to have to do that. Eventually though, as I studied, I began to wonder if this was what God wanted. Eventually, I went to our pastor and asked her if seminary was even an option for someone with a degree in engineering and a not particularly impressive grade point average. Through this conversation with our pastor and through many other circumstances, it eventually became clear that this indeed was the direction that God was leading me. I wrestled with God, I fought back, I shouted, I dont wanna! and yet, God has a way of getting what he wants. We all wrestle with what it is that God wants us to do and were not the first to do it. In Genesis 32:22-31,
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That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23 After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. 24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacobs hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, Let me go, for it is daybreak. But Jacob replied, I will not let you go unless you bless me.
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The man asked him, What is your name?

Jacob, he answered. Then the man said, Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.
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Jacob said, Please tell me your name.

But he replied, Why do you ask my name? Then he blessed him there. So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared. The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel and he was limping because of his hip. 32 Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the tendon attached to the socket of the hip, because the socket of Jacobs hip was touched near the tendon. 2
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Jacob wrestles, all night long with a man and in the morning when the man finds that he cannot overpower Jacob, touches the socket of his hip and pulls it out of joint or strains it somehow. Jacob then learns that he has been wrestling, not only a man, but with God. If I were to ask, Who is God in human flesh, what would you answer? Most often, at least in the New Testament, we would answer that God in human form is Jesus. In the Old Testament, as we find in this verse, we call that a christophany. Technically, a Christophany is an appearance of Jesus Christ after his resurrection but it is also sometimes applied in cases like this where God has appeared in human form and we speculate that this may, in fact, have been Jesus. Jacob was like many of us. He wrestled with God and he would not give up, even so, God overcame him. Jacob did not give up and he received Gods blessing but he did not escape unscathed. Jacob was blessed by God but walked away from his encounter with a limp that some say he had until the day he died. Much later we find that the disciples also wrestled with God. They did not always see what Jesus was doing and they sometimes opposed his wishes. In Matthew 14:13-21, Jesus feeds close to ten thousand people but not until he wins over his disciples
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When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. 14 When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick. As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, This is a remote place, and its already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.
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Jesus replied, They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat. We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish, they answered.

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Bring them here to me, he said. 19 And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. 20 They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. 21 The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children. The disciples argued with Jesus and told him that they must send the people away so that they could find food to eat. Instead of sending the people away, Jesus commands the disciples to feed the people. I think it is important to notice that the disciples were not always slow learners. The disciples had learned how Jesus worked and they knew what sorts of things that he wanted. They had compassion on the people that had gathered. The disciples were not trying to send the people away so that they could have some peace and quiet or so that they themselves could go and get something to eat. The disciples were concerned that they people were hungry and needed to eat. Whats more, the disciples had anticipated that Jesus would want to feed them and had already surveyed the people to see what they might have brought along with them. Unfortunately, all they came up with was one small boy and the sack lunch his mom had probably sent along with him. These two stories taken together reveal something to us about our struggles with God.

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First, stubbornness is not a sin. Jacob is not particularly penalized for not giving up but, in fact, is rewarded by receiving Gods blessing. Second, stubborn or not, Jacob does not win. God overcomes and gets what he wants despite the wrestling and the stubbornness of Jacob. Third, we discover from the disciples that we must first learn to think as our master thinks and to follow his paths and Fourth, its okay to know your limits and ask for help. The disciples give up and go to Jesus but not before they had done everything they could do accomplish the task. Too often we ask God to do the things that we are more than capable of doing, long before we have done all that we could. The disciples were compassionate. They knew what their master would want them to do and they did all that they could before they gave up. Fifth, once we have done our part, God stands ready to do things that go far beyond our abilities, efforts, imagination and beyond any limits that we thought that we had. God stands ready to pour out blessings on his people and may even do a few miracles to accomplish what he has set out to do. Finally, I hope that you will remember this: It is okay to struggle with scripture. It is okay to be stubborn. It is okay to struggle with what God is calling you to do. But be forewarned, you may not walk away from that encounter unscathed. Jacob was stubborn and Jacob was still blessed by God but for the rest of his life, Jacob bore the scars of his encounter with God. With every step that he took he limped and he remembered both his blessings and his stubbornness. We all struggle. What is it that God is calling you to do today?

You have been reading a message presented at Barnesville First United Methodist Church on the date noted at the top of the first page. Rev. John Partridge is the pastor of Barnesville First. Duplication of this message is a part of our Media ministry, if you have received a blessing in this way, we would love to hear from you. Letters and donations in support of the Media ministry or any of our other projects may be sent to Barnesville First UMC at 123 W. Church St., Barnesville, OH 43713. These messages are available to any interested persons regardless of membership. You may subscribe to these messages, in print or electronic formats, by writing to the address noted, or by contacting us at subscribe@barnesvillefirst.com. If you have questions, you can ask them in our discussion forum on Facebook (search for Pastor John Online). These messages can also be found online at http://www.scribd.com/Pastor John Partridge. All Scripture references are from the New International Version unless otherwise noted.