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theweekender.com
vol.18 issue 39 august 10-16 2011
NEPAS No. 1 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT FREE WEEKLY
PRIDE TOBE
DISPLAYEDINKIRBY
PARKP. 38
THERESNOSUCH
THINGASDOWNTIME
FORANTHRAXSJOEY
BELLADONNAP. 12
LACE
UP!
DO YOU HAVE
WH AT
IT TAKES
TO BE THE
VALLEYS
FASTEST
MAN?
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Letter from the editor
Several years ago, in an at-
tempt to get fit, I took up running
for the first time. It became so
serious an addiction of mine that
I would sometimes wake up in
the middle of the night to check
the clock to see how much longer
it would be until my alarm finally
went off at 5:30 a.m.
I loved running first thing in
the morning, long before most
people were even moving about
their cabins. Not only was it a
great way to get in shape, but it
was an amazing stress reliever as
well. Running became something
I did daily, until I got sidelined
by the flu. After I felt better, I
found that getting back into the
groove wasnt as easy as it used
to be. Thus, my love affair with
running ended, but even today,
whenever I see a
runner, I wistfully
watch them for a
minute and fond-
ly remember The
Time I Was A
Runner.
As you might
gather from our
cover image, this
weeks cover
story is about
running in
three upcoming
races, actually.
But much more
than being just
another local run, the Valleys
Fastest Man competition aims to
help raise awareness for the
under-the-radar plight of orphans
and foster children, as well as
other adoption initiatives. Find
out more on pages 16-17.
Also in this weeks issue, you
can read about The Bark of the
Underdogs, a play written by
and starring a Forty Fort native
(p. 52), get some fashion Tips
From A Barbie Chick (p. 41) and
much more, but youll have to
find those pages yourself.
Thanks for reading!
Nikki M. Mascali
Weekender Editor
Contact us
letters@theweekender.com
staff
Contributors
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astout@theweekender.com
I eat Chef Boyardee Pizza. I
just cant get off the stuff.
Biting my nails. Playing with my beard.
Shopping. Refusing to eat leftovers.
I have many bad habits, but the
worst is that Im kind of a slob.
I put drink bottles back in the
fridge even though theres only a
tiny bit left.
I drink too much soda. But it is a
gift from the gods.
Biting my nails, speaking like a
sailor
Whats your worst habit?
social
mindykaling
Online comment
of the week.
Im just every other girl hoping
for a Nicki Minaj-Gwen Stefani
collaboration.
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Three Witches offers a history lesson audiences wont soon forget.
28 MUSIC ON THE MENU
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27
Gary Wright is more than just a
Dream Weaver. 10
THE GAMER: Insanely twisted lms become
an insanely twisted game
Tom DeLonge, right, opens up about Blink-182
and Angels & Airwaves.
www.theweekender.com/bonus/exclusive
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COVER STORY
16-17
LISTINGS
THIS JUST IN ... 18
LIVE ENTERTAINMENT .... 22
CONCERTS ... 24-25
THEATER .... 37
AGENDA ... 40, 43, 46, 48-51, 54
SPEAK & SEE ... 56-57
CAR & BIKE ... 61
MUSIC
JOEY BELLADONNA 12
HIPPIEFEST 27
ALBUM REVIEWS ... 30
CHARTS ... 30
MUSIC ON THE MENU 28
STAGE & SCREEN
THREE WITCHES 21
STARSTRUCK ... 27
NOVEL APPROACH ... 31
RALPHIE REPORT ... 32
MOVIE REVIEW... 35
PRIDEFEST 38
STAGE ... 52
FOOD & FASHION
NEWS OF THE WEIRD ... 9
THE GAMER 10
PUZZLE ... 40
TIPS FROM A BARBIE CHICK 41
WHO IS 45
STYLE FILES ... 47
MISC.
SORRY MOM & DAD ... 64
SIGN LANGUAGE ... 58
SHOWUS SOME SKIN ... 54
MOTORHEAD ... 64
WEEKENDER MAN ... 85
WEEKENDER MODEL ... 85
ON THE COVER
DESIGN BY ... STEVE HUSTED
VOLUME 18 ISSUE 37
index
Aug. 10-16, 2011
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Aug. 11, 2011
Rain Date Thurs. Night 7:00 PM to 10:00 PM
Aug. 18, 2011
news of the weird
By Chuck Shepherd
Weekender Wire Services
SEDUCTIVE SEND OFFS
For years, many traditional
funerals in Taiwan especially
in rural areas or among working
classes have included pop
singers and bikinied dancers,
supposedly to entertain the
ghosts that will protect the de-
ceased in the afterlife. According
to a recent documentary by an-
thropologist Marc Moskowitz,
some of the dancers until 20
years ago were strippers who did
lap dances with funeral guests,
until the government made such
behavior illegal. Contemporary
song-and-dance shows, like the
traveling Electric Flower Car,
supposedly appeal to lower
gods who help cleanse the de-
ceased of the more mundane
vices such as gambling and pros-
titution (compared to the high-
er gods who focus on morality
and righteousness).
CANT POSSIBLY BE TRUE
-- Californias state and local
governments are rarely discussed
these days without the pall of
budget cuts looming, but appar-
ently the Los Angeles County
Museum of Art is safe because it
is spending a reported $1.5 mil-
lion to move a big rock in from
Riverside, about 60 miles away.
Its a 340-ton boulder that the
museum intends to display above
a sidewalk (Levitated Mass).
The move will require a 200-
foot-long trailer with 200 tires,
with one semi-tractor pulling and
one pushing, at night, maximum
speed 8 mph.
-- Tennessee State Rep. Julia
Hurley apologized in July and
said she would pay for the refin-
ishing of her desk in the legisla-
tive chamber after it was revealed
that she had carved her initials in
it during a January session. It
was like one in the morning on
the last day of the session, she
told WSMV-TV. I wasnt think-
ing straight. Rep. Hurley, 29,
who has a daughter, 14, unseated
a nine-term incumbent legislator
in 2010 with a campaign that
touted her time as a Hooters
waitress. If I could make it at
Hooters, she wrote in the restau-
rants magazine, I could make it
anywhere.
-- In June, the California Court
of Appeals threw out the three
counts of possession of child
pornography for which Joseph
Gerber had been convicted, even
though what Gerber had done
was paste face shots of his own
13-year-old daughter onto ordi-
nary pornographic photos. The
U.S. Supreme Court decided in
2002 that a conviction for mak-
ing child pornography requires
actual sexual abuse. (Gerber had
also been convicted of supplying
the daughter with drugs and the
court ordered Gerber re-sen-
tenced.)
Helping Disaster Victims
(1) In May, following near-
record floods in fields south of
Montreal, Quebec, farmer Martin
Reid made sure to apply for his
fishing license because he had
learned the hard way that when
his land gets flooded, he cannot
remove the fish washed onto it
unless he is a licensed fisherman.
After flooding in 1993, Reid and
his father failed to secure a li-
cense and were fined $1,000. A
second offense brings a fine of
$100,000. (2) Two weeks after
the catastrophic April tornadoes
hit Alabama and neighboring
states, Bailey Brothers Music Co.
of Birmingham offered to help.
To soothe those suffering depres-
sion and grief from devastating
property losses, Bailey Brothers
sponsored weekly drum circles.
POLICE BLOTTER
-- Must Be Guilty: Arrested in
Woodbridge, Va., in July for
burglary after being discovered
by police inside the MVC Late
Night adult store: U.S. Army
officer Justin Dale Little Jim, 28
(who was found physically en-
gaged with a blow-up doll).
Little Jims chances for acquittal
are slim under News of the
Weirds insightful theory of crim-
inal culpability known as the
Three First Names hypothesis.
RECENT CONFUSING
HEADLINES
(1) If Yogi Berra Wrote the
Headline: Woman Missing
Since She Got Lost (Chicago
Sun-Times, 5-17-2011). (2)
Please Explain: Teen Dies of
Shaken Baby Syndrome (Chica-
go Tribune, 3-9-2011). Man
With Clown Nose in New Cum-
berland Poses No Serious
Threat (Patriot-News, Harris-
burg, Pa., 7-3-2011). (3) Run for
the Hills: Return of the Giant
Carnivorous Hermaphrodite
Snails (Yahoo News-LiveSci-
ence.com, 6-3-2011). (4) Not
What You Think: Showboat
Casino Hotel to Become First
Dog-Friendly Casino in Atlantic
City (Press of Atlantic City,
2-3-2011) (Guests dogs can be
admitted to the floor, but dogs
are still forbidden to play poker.)
A NEWS OF THE WEIRD
CLASSIC (MARCH 2002)
Board-certified Kansas City,
Mo., psychiatrist (and University
of Kansas School of Medicine
graduate) Dr. Donald Hinton told
reporters in February (2002) that
Elvis Aron Presley, the enter-
tainer (whom) everybody be-
lieves died in 1977, is alive and
that Hinton has been treating him
for migraine headaches, among
other things, for five years. Hin-
ton, 35, said he has several items
from Presley containing his DNA
and has continually denied that
hes running a scam. An Elvis
Presley Enterprises official was
unfazed, insisting that Elvis is
still in the garden (at Grace-
land). (Update: Dr. Hinton sub-
sequently self-published a book,
co-authored with Elvis, explain-
ing their relationship, and was
subsequently investigated by the
Missouri Healing Arts Board,
which ultimately closed the in-
vestigation without charges.) W
Handy addresses:
NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com,
WeirdUniverse.net,
WeirdNews@earthlink.net,
NewsoftheWeird.com and P.O.
Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679
A Singaporean army draftee caused a
public stir in March when he was photo-
graphed by a visitor as he underwent
physical training in army fatigues but
with his maid following behind him carry-
ing his backpack on her shoulders. (Army
officials told reporters the draftee had
since been counsel(ed).)
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861 Main Street Dickson City
570-483-4881
HOURS:
WED-THU 1-9 AND FRI-SUN 12-10
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HOSPITAL GRADE STERILIZATION
The Gamer
By Dale Culp
Weekender Correspondent
novel approach
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