KELSIE CATE A.

BACOLOD BSN 4 (NF)

SEPTEMBER 5, 2011 MR. NOEL BACOTO

AS GOOD AS A TIED KNOT.

Pieces of strings knitted together are bounded by strength, that, it is almost impossible for it to be loosen, untangled or untied. This impliedly tackles about one of the communitys major concerns as of the moment, in which is often-avoided because of its stinging reality and sensitivity, is the dissolution of marriage which is otherwise known as divorce. Divorce according to the definition in moral theology directly means to separate or simply just the mutual separation of married couples, which, however, is not an absolute separation. In the ecclesiastical law, there is distinction between divortium plenum/perfectum (absolute divorce), which implies the dissolution of the marriage bond, and divortium imperfectum (limited divorce), which leaves the marriage bond intact and implies only the cessation of common life (separation from bed and board, or in addition separation of dwelling-place). In the civil law, on the other hand, divorce is simply defined as dissolution of the marriage bond itself. Moreover, Gods word (the bible) has also its own say on this issue. Genesis 2:24 states that, Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. This is further strengthened by the verse in the book of Malachi which emphasizes that God hates divorce: The man who hates and divorces his wife, says the LORD, the God of Israel, does violence to the one he should protect, says the LORD Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful. There is no perfect life, no perfect love, no perfect person and no perfect relationship either. There will always be times, especially in married couples lives that differences outweigh the similarities, anger outweighs the love, doubt outweighs the trust, and even sins that outweighs the ability of the heart to forgive. These are those times when marriages are tried and tested, when the knots knitted together and the

bond it formed (in marriage) was enough to sustain strength in order for those ties not to loosen up and finally be untied. These are simply the times when married couples encounter storms in their relationship, times when they would feel that the last resort is to put things away, let go, runaway and escape from the realm of what is painful. Yet, there are those times that you as one separate individual in that couple would consider divorce as an option. In every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. (Isaac Newton) As one chooses and decides on the implementation of a plan of action, there will always be benefits and consequences that go along with it. We all know the painful parts of divorce but there are definite gifts that come with a divorce. It is hard to see those gifts in the early stages of divorce recovery but they are there waiting to emerge. Just ask any women who has gone on to create a new life after divorce and she will tell you how much she has grown and come into her own now that her divorce is behind her. An article on The Pros of Divorce (http://www.lifeafteryourdivorce.com) identified thirteen things that are of benefit after a divorce took place. Divorce can make home that is not filled with constant envision and anxiety, can help you earn (as an individual) deep lessons that have resulted in amazing personal growth with new found confidence and self-esteem, can facilitate a new sense of self with a reconnection to your strengths and talents, will embark you with a special knowledge that comes with having survived a major life transition: wisdom, a new life that is centered on what is important to you, to what you value, the clarification of your passions and the ability to create a life based on those passions, the realization that a crisis in life creates an opening for change that you might not have ever had, a new career, the freedom to do what you want when you want to do it, better relationships with your children, the healing of old emotional wounds that emerge during divorce which gives you a new found freedom to create whatever you want in your life, peace of mind and the retrieval of your power with the loss of victimhood. Conversely, in the perusal of assessing individuals who underwent divorce, they state things that make a divorce a negative thing. They said, after divorce, an

individual would be most likely to experience worrying about who is with the children (Has your spouse chosen a good person to bring into your children's lives? Or is this person dangerous, cruel, irresponsible, or a bad example?), neglect from friends (your friends will start to avoid you because all you talk about is your divorce), being alone most of the time (going to malls, restaurants and cinemas for instance), your heart will be torn from your chest each time you have to watch your child cry as they are going back to their other parent's house, no one to share ups and downs of life, joys and successes or losses, no dates or a different date everytime during special life events, special family occasions or holidays, the shame of being divorced, the feelings that you are a failure as a spouse and lover, feelings of helplessness, like being in quick sand and overwhelmed with life and loneliness (everyone has a life and you don't anymore/you thought divorce meant freedom). In general, divorce may have a good outcome or a more benefit than a loss, it does not follow that it is morally right and good, once you decided to get into the bond of marriage; you are not only giving your whole self and giving an oath to your partner but to your God as well. Though some may say that when two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to or that if you really love the person, youve got to let /him go, still, love and understanding are not strongly shown in these premises. Isnt it best to show love by talking mutually your feelings and concerns towards each other and understand each other by all means? Isnt it sweet and makes you more proud to say that you have overcome a big battle together as partners? That you tied a knot (in your marriage) bounded by strength and that you hang on to it? As clearly stipulated in the gospel of Mark, Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate. (Mark 10:9).

Everything in life is temporary, because everything changes. That's why it takes great courage to love, knowing it might end anytime but having the faith it will last forever.