Conflict resolution is a wide range of methods of addressing sources of conflict - whether at the inter-personal level or between states - and

of finding means of resolving a given conflict or of continuing it in less destructive forms than, say, armed conflict. Processes of conflict resolution generally include negotiation, mediation, diplomacy and creative peacebuilding. The term "conflict resolution" is sometimes used interchangeably with the terms dispute resolution or alternative dispute resolution. The processes of arbitration, litigation, and formal complaint processes through an ombudsman, are part of dispute resolution, and therefore they are also part of "conflict resolution." The concept of conflict resolution can also encompass the use of nonviolent methods such as civil resistance (also often called nonviolent resistance) by a party to a conflict as a means of pursuing its goals, on the grounds that such means are more likely than armed struggle to lead to effective resolution of the conflict.[1] Contents

1 Culture-based 2 In animals 3 Education 4 Ways of addressing conflict 5 Conflict management o 5.1 Counseling 6 See also 7 Notes 8 References 9 External links

Culture-based
Conflict resolution as both a professional practice and academic field is highly sensitive to culture. In Western cultural contexts, such as Canada and the United States, successful conflict resolution usually involves fostering communication among disputants, problem solving, and drafting agreements that meet their underlying needs. In these situations, conflict resolvers often talk about finding the win-win solution, or mutually satisfying scenario, for everyone involved (see Fisher and Ury (1981), Getting to Yes). In many non-Western cultural contexts, such as Afghanistan, Vietnam, and China, it is also important to find "win-win" solutions; however, getting there can be very different. In these contexts, direct communication between disputants that explicitly addresses the issues at stake in the conflict can be perceived as very rude, making the conflict worse and delaying resolution. Rather, it can make sense to involve religious, tribal or community leaders, communicate difficult truths indirectly through a third party, and make suggestions through stories (see Vinod Swami (1992), Conflict Mediation Across Cultures). Intercultural conflicts are often the most difficult to resolve because the expectations of the disputants can be very different, and there is much occasion for misunderstanding.

In animals

Conflict resolution has also been studied in non-humans, like dogs, cats, monkeys, snakes, elephants, and primates (see Frans de Waal, 2000). Aggression is more common among relatives and within a group than between groups. Instead of creating a distance between the individuals, however, the primates were more intimate in the period after the aggressive incident. These intimacies consisted of grooming and various forms of body contact. Stress responses, like an increased heart rate, usually decrease after these reconciliatory signals. Different types of primates, as well as many other species who are living in groups, show different types of conciliatory behaviour. Resolving conflicts that threaten the interaction between individuals in a group is necessary for survival and hence has a strong evolutionary value. These findings contradicted previous existing theories about the general function of aggression, i.e. creating space between individuals (first proposed by Konrad Lorenz), which seems to be more the case in conflicts between groups than it is within groups. In addition to research in primates, biologists are beginning to explore reconciliation in other animals. Up until recently, the literature dealing with reconciliation in non-primates have consisted of anecdotal observations and very little quantitative data. Although peaceful postconflict behavior had been documented going back to the 1960s, it wasnt until 1993 that Rowell made the first explicit mention of reconciliation in feral sheep. Reconciliation has since been documented in spotted hyenas,[2] lions, dolphins,[3] dwarf mongoose, domestic goats,[4] and domestic dogs.[5] Conflict resolution is an expanding field of professional practice, both in the U.S. and around the world. The escalating costs of conflict have increased use of third parties who may serve as an conflict specialists to resolve conflicts. In fact relief and development organizations have added peace-building specialists to their teams. Many of the major international Non-governmental organizations have seen a growing need to hire practitioners trained in conflict analysis and resolution. Furthermore, this expansion of the field has resulted in the need for conflict resolution practitioners to work in a variety of settings such as in businesses, court systems, government agencies nonprofit organizations, government agencies and educational institutions serving throughout the world.

Education
Universities worldwide offer programs of study pertaining to conflict research, analysis, and practice. The Cornell University ILR School houses the Scheinman Institute on Conflict Resolution, which offers undergraduate, graduate, and professional training on conflict resolution.[6] Additional graduate programs are offered at Georgetown University, Eastern Mennonite University and Trinity College Dublin.[7] George Mason Universitys Institute of Conflict Analysis and Resolution offers undergraduate, certificate and masters programs in Conflict Analysis and Resolution and a Ph.D. program in The Philosophy in Conflict and Conflict Resolution .[8] Many students completing a doctoral program enter the field as researchers, theorists, analysts, policy makers and professors in higher education. Furthermore, the Pax Ludens Foundation based in the Netherlands is an organization that puts together conflict resolution simulations set in an International Relations scenario to help students learn about the intricacies of where conflict emerges in the world of international politics.

Conflict resolution is a growing area of interest in UK pedagogy, with teachers and students both encouraged to learn about mechanisms that lead to aggressive action, and those that lead to peaceful resolution. In many schools in the UK, conflict resolution has now become an integral part of the SEAL (Social and Emotional Aspects of Learning) programme, chiming,as it does, with the SEAL principles of developing social skills and an understanding of ones own feelings.

Ways of addressing conflict

Five basic ways of addressing conflict were identified by Thomas and Kilmann in 1976:[9][10]

Accommodation surrender one's own needs and wishes to accommodate the other party. Avoidance avoid or postpone conflict by ignoring it, changing the subject, etc. Avoidance can be useful as a temporary measure to buy time or as an expedient means of dealing with very minor, non-recurring conflicts. In more severe cases, conflict avoidance can involve severing a relationship or leaving a group.[11] Collaboration work together to find a mutually beneficial solution. While the ThomasKilmann grid views collaboration as the only win-win solution to conflict, collaboration can also be time-intensive and inappropriate when there is not enough trust, respect or communication among participants for collaboration to occur. Compromise bring the problem into the open and have the third person present. The aim of conflict resolution is to reach agreement and most often this will mean compromise.[12] Competition assert one's viewpoint at the potential expense of another. It can be useful when achieving one's objectives outweighs one's concern for the relationship.[13]

The Thomas Kilmann Instrument can be used to assess one's dominant style for addressing conflict.[14]

Conflict management
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2007)

Conflict management refers to the long-term management of intractable conflicts. It is the label for the variety of ways by which people handle grievancesstanding up for what they consider to be right and against what they consider to be wrong. Those ways include such diverse phenomena as gossip, ridicule, lynching, terrorism, warfare, feuding, genocide, law, mediation, and avoidance. Which forms of conflict management will be used in any given situation can be somewhat predicted and explained by the social structureor social geometryof the case.

Conflict management is often considered to be distinct from conflict resolution. In order for actual conflict to occur, there should be an expression of exclusive patterns, and tell why the conflict was expressed the way it was. Conflict is not just about simple inaptness, but is often connected to a previous issue. The latter refers to resolving the dispute to the approval of one or both parties, whereas the former concerns an ongoing process that may never have a resolution. Neither is it considered the same as conflict transformation, which seeks to reframe the positions of the conflict parties.

Counseling
When personal conflict leads to frustration and loss of efficiency, counseling may prove to be a helpful antidote. Although few organizations can afford the luxury of having professional counselors on the staff, given some training, managers may be able to perform this function. Nondirective counseling, or "listening with understanding", is little more than being a good listenersomething every manager should be.[15] Sometimes the simple process of being able to vent one's feelingsthat is, to express them to a concerned and understanding listener, is enough to relieve frustration and make it possible for the frustrated individual to advance to a problem-solving frame of mind, better able to cope with a personal difficulty that is affecting his work adversely. The nondirective approach is one effective way for managers to deal with frustrated subordinates and co-workers.[16] There are other more direct and more diagnostic ways that might be used in appropriate circumstances. The great strength of the nondirective approach (nondirective counseling is based on the client-centered therapy of Carl Rogers), however, lies in its simplicity, its effectiveness, and the fact that it deliberately avoids the manager-counselor's diagnosing and interpreting emotional problems, which would call for special psychological training. Listening to staff with sympathy and understanding is unlikely to escalate the problem, and is a widely used approach for helping people to cope with problems that interfere with their effectiveness in their place of work

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May be this will help you Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen, It seems like just the other day when we were all talking about [insert the name of the person you are saying farewell to]'s farewell as they move on to [insert a few specific details here]. I remember thinking that it would be hard to say goodbye ... and I was right - it is hard. Yet I consider myself fortunate to have met such a special person ... a person that we care so much about ... that it makes saying goodbye to him / her hard!

As we say goodbye, we remind ourselves that farewells are not forever, nor are they the end. They are simply words to say that we will miss you dearly and that we will remember you fondly. Although we may be separated by time and distance in the interim, nothing will diminish the important role that you have and always will play in our lives. We wish you happy adventures, fantastic new friendships, amazing experiences and the journey of a lifetime. Richard Bach says, "Can miles truly separate you from friends? If you want to be with someone you love ... aren't you already there?" And so it is ... and always will be with you as we carry you always close to our hearts. May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of his hand - Irish Blessing

Conflict resolution quotations

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Welcome to my collection of conflict resolution, peace, problem-solving, listening and related quotations. I update it periodically and if you have a conflict quotation to recommend, please drop me a note. Dont look where you fall, but where you slipped. African proverb Begin challenging your own assumptions. Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light wont come in. Alan Alda Every problem has a gift for you in its hands. Richard Bach Never ascribe to an opponent motives meaner than your own. John M. Barrie Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. Ambrose Bierce Marriage means expectations and expectations mean conflict. Paxton Blair Transformation comes more from pursuing profound questions than seeking practical answers. Peter Block

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. Paul Boese The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. Niels Bohr Whenever you see darkness, there is extraordinary opportunity for the light to burn brighter. Bono There are two ways of meeting difficulties: You alter the difficulties or you alter yourself meeting them. Phyllis Bottome If war is the violent resolution of conflict, then peace is not the absence of conflict, but rather, the ability to resolve conflict without violence. C.T. Lawrence Butler Every noble work is at first impossible. Thomas Carlyle One of the most basic principles for making and keeping peace within and between nationsis that in political, military, moral, and spiritual confrontations, there should be an honest attempt at the reconciliation of differences before resorting to combat. Jimmy Carter Dont let yesterday use up too much of today. Cherokee proverb If we dont change the direction we are going, we are likely to end up where we are heading. Chinese Proverb Tell me, I may listen. Teach me, I may remember. Involve me, I will do it. Chinese Proverb Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. Winston Churchill A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty. Winston Churchill Every conflict we face in life is rich with positive and negative potential. It can be a source of inspiration, enlightenment, learning, transformation, and growthor rage, fear, shame, entrapment, and resistance. The choice is not up to our opponents, but to us, and our willingness to face and work through them. Kenneth Cloke and Joan Goldsmith One might as well try to ride two horses moving in different directions, as to try to maintain in equal force two opposing or contradictory sets of desires. Robert Collier You cant talk your way out of something you behaved your way into. You have to behave your way out of it. Doug Conant (CEO of Campbell Soup, as quoted in Harvard Business Review) Every word has three definitions and three interpretations. Costa Rican proverb

If I were to summarize in one sentence the single most important principle I have learned in the field of interpersonal relations, it would be this: Seek first to understand, then to be understood. This principle is the key to effective interpersonal communication. Stephen Covey The quality of our lives depends not on whether or not we have conflicts, but on how we respond to them. Tom Crum There is little value in preparing a cookbook of recipes for conflict success. The effects of conflict interaction depend directly on what the participants do mentally with conflict behaviorsthat is, how they process and interpret those behaviors. William Cupach & Daniel Canary I believe that the basic nature of human beings is gentle and compassionate. It is therefore in our own interest to encourage that nature, to make it live within us, to leave room for it to develop. If on the contrary we use violence, it is as if we voluntarily obstruct the positive side of human nature and prevent its evolution. His Holiness the Dalai Lama If you understood everything I said, youd be me. Miles Davis Conflict is the gadfly of thought. It stirs us to observation and memory. It instigates to invention. It shocks us out of sheeplike passivity, and sets us at noting and contriving. John Dewey Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth. Benjamin Disraeli Every person in this life has something to teach meand as soon as I accept that, I open myself to truly listening. Catherine Doucette The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is the way in which we use them. Adriana Doyle When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change. Wayne Dyer Whenever two good people argue over principles, they are both right. Marie Ebner von Eschenbach In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. Albert Einstein Any fool can know. The point is to understand. Albert Einstein A problem is your chance to do your best. Duke Ellington Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Ralph Waldo Emerson People are disturbed not by things, but by the view they take of them. Epictetus

We can often do more for other men by trying to correct our own faults than by trying to correct theirs. Francois Fenelon What people often mean by getting rid of conflict is getting rid of diversity, and it is of utmost importance that these should not be considered the same. We may wish to abolish conflict, but we cannot get rid of diversityFear of difference is fear of life itself. Mary Parker Follett It is possible to conceive conflict as not necessarily a wasteful outbreak of incompatibilities, but a normal process by which socially valuable differences register themselves for the enrichment of all concerned. Mary Parker Follett Dont find fault. Find a remedy. Henry Ford Between stimulus and response is the freedom to choose. Viktor Frankl If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins. Benjamin Franklin Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. Benjamin Franklin Dont ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up. Robert Frost You can never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the old model obsolete. Buckminister Fuller Dont fight forces; use them. Buckminster Fuller You cant shake hands with a clenched fist. Indira Gandhi what may appear as the truth to one person will often appear as untruth to another person. But that need not worry the seeker. Where there is honest effort, it will be realized that what appeared to be different truths are like the countless and apparently different leaves of the same tree. Gandhi Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it stands than to anything on which it is poured. Gandhi Every fight is on some level a fight between differing angles of vision illuminating the same truth. Gandhi The days are too short even for love; how can there be enough time for quarreling? Margaret Gatty Listening is not waiting to talk. Scott Ginsberg

My long experience has taught me to resolve conflict by raising the issues before I or others burn their boats. Alistair Grant We mistakenly believe that if our partners love us, they will act and behave in certain waysthe ways we react and behave when we love someone. John Gray You can blame people who knock things over in the dark or you can begin to light candles. Youre only at fault if you know about the problem and choose to do nothing. Paul Hawken To truly listen is to risk being changed forever. Sakej Henderson An enemy is a person whose story we have not heard. Gene Knudsen Hoffman The great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving. Oliver Wendell Holmes We are enslaved by anything we do not consciously see. We are freed by conscious perception. Vernon Howard Our happiness or our unhappiness depends far more on the way we meet the events of life than on the nature of those events themselves. Wilhelm von Humboldt Whenever youre in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude. William James Whenever two people meet there are really six people present. There is each man as he sees himself, each man as the other sees him, and each man as he really is. William James When you have to make a choice and dont make it, that is in itself a choice. William James Which hurts the most, saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing and wishing you had? Javan Always pass a plate of forgiveness before each verbal feast. Anabel Jensen What you dont see with your eyes, dont witness with your mouth. Jewish Proverb Nothing changes more consistently than the past; the past that influences our lives is not what objectively happened, but what we believe happened. Gerald W. Johnson Never ruin an apology with an excuse. Kimberly Johnson If youre not listening, youre not learning. L.B. Johnson An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything. Lynn Johnston

Nothing produces such odd results as trying to get even. Franklin P. Jones Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didnt. Erica Jong (thanks, Nigel!) The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory, but progress. Joseph Joubert Never cut what you can untie. Joseph Joubert Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. Carl Jung In business, you dont get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate. Chester Karrass I do not want the peace that passeth understanding. I want the understanding which bringeth peace. Helen Keller Our task is not to fix blame for the past, but to fix the course for the future. John F. Kennedy If we cannot end our differences at least we can make the world safe for diversity. John F. Kennedy Having a good discussion is like having riches. Kenyan proverb Vengeance is a lazy form of grief. Nicole Kidman as Silvia Broome, The Interpreter Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal. Martin Luther King, Jr. True peace is not merely the absence of tension: it is the presence of justice. Martin Luther King, Jr. It all boils down to this: That all life is interrelated. We are all caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied to a single garment of destiny. Martin Luther King Words can destroy. What we call each other ultimately becomes what we think of each other, and it matters. Jean Kirkpatrick Every person you fight with has many other people in his life with whom he gets along quite well. You cannot look at a person who seems difficult to you without also looking at yourself. Jeffrey Kottler How do you listen? Do you listen with your projections, through your projection, through your ambitions, desire, fears, anxieties, through hearing only what you want to hear, only what will be satisfactory, what will gratify, what will give comfort, what will for the moment alleviate your suffering? If you listen through the screen of your desires, then you obviously listen to your own voice. J. Krishnamurti

We and you ought not to pull on the ends of a rope. Would you have tied the knots of war? Because the more the two of us pull, the tighter the knot will be tied, and then it will be necessary to cut that knot. And what that would mean is not for me to explain to you. Nikita Kruschev When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge. Tuli Kupferberg Never attribute to malice or other deliberate decision what can be explained by human frailty, imperfection, or ignorance. Rabbi Harold Kushner Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when youd have preferred to talk. Doug Larson Behind the cloud the sun is still shining. Abraham Lincoln A crisis is a turning point. Anne Lindthorst Many a time I have wanted to stop talking and find out what I really believed. Walter Lippmann Where all think alike, no one thinks very much. Walter Lippmann If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each persons life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility. Longfellow Instead of suppressing conflicts, specific channels could be created to make this conflict explicit, and specific methods could be set up by which the conflict is resolved. Albert Low What we see depends mainly on what we look for. Sir John Lubbock Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional. Max Lucade Dont be afraid of opposition. Remember, a kite rises against, not with, the wind. Hamilton Mabie A marriage without conflicts is almost as inconceivable as a nation without crises. Andre Maurois The Earth is too small a star and we too brief a visitor upon it for anything to matter more than the struggle for peace. Colman McCarthy Eighty percent of all questions are statements in disguise. Dr. Phil McGraw Since the general or prevailing opinion on any subject is rarely or never the whole truth, it is only by the collision of adverse opinion that the remainder of the truth has any chance of being supplied. John Stuart Mill

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something. Wilson Mizner There is no way to peace. Peace is the way. A. J. Muste The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. Dorothy Nevill Deep listening, compassionate listening is not listening with the purpose of analyzing or even uncovering what has happened in the past. You listen first of all in order to give the other person relief, a chance to speak out, to feel that someone finally understands him or her. Deep listening is the kind of listening that helps us to keep compassion alive while the other speaksDuring this time you have in mind only one idea, one desire: to listen in order to give the other person the chance to speak out and suffer less. This is your only purpose. Other things like analyzing, understanding the past, can be a by-produce of this work. But first of all listen with compassion. Thich Nhat Hanh The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them. Ralph Nichols We dont see things as they are. We see things as we are. Anais Nin The courts of this country should not be the places where resolution of disputes begins. They should be the places where the disputes end after alternative methods of resolving disputes have been considered and tried. Justice Sandra Day OConnor The more we sweat in peace the less we bleed in war. Vijaya Lakshmi Pandit To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong. Joseph Chilton Pearce You never really understand a person until you consider things for his point of view. Gregory Peck as Atticus Finch The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers. M. Scott Peck A man convinced against his willis not convinced. Laurence J. Peter My problem is I say what Im thinking before I think what Im saying. Laurence J. Peter Not only are there as many conflicting truths as there are people to claim them; there are equally multitudinous and conflicting truths within the individual. Virgilia Peterson

Not every truth is the better for showing its face undisguised; and often silence is the wisest thing for a man to heed. Pindar Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; argument an exchange of emotion. Robert Quillen You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake. Jeanette Rankin Ive always believed that a lot of the troubles in the world would disappear if we were talking to each other instead of about each other. Ronald Reagan Quarrels would not last long if the fault were only on one side. Duke Franois de La Rochefoucauld It is astonishing how elements which seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens. How confusions which seem irremediable turn into relatively clear flowing streams when one is heard. Carl Rogers If its mentionable, its manageable. Mr. Rogers Dont let yesterday use up too much of today. Will Rogers The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem. Theodore Rubin, M.D., psychiatrist and author Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world. don Miguel Ruiz Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing, there is a field. Ill meet you there. Rumi In all affairs its a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. Bertrand Russell The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution. Bertrand Russell It is with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye. Antoine de Saint-Exupry Human beings love to be right. When a person is willing to give up being right, a whole world of possibilities opens up. Pete Salmansohn The test of a successful person is not an ability to eliminate all problems before they arise, but to meet and work out difficulties when they do arise. David J. Schwartz

Why not go out on a limb? Isnt that where the fruit is? Frank Scully Before you speak, ask yourself: Is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, does it improve on the silence? Shirdi Sai Baba When things are not working for us, instead of fighting and struggling, we need to say, Whats happening here? How am I not being true to who I am? What is pulling me away from my purpose? June Singer The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you. John E. Southard It takes two to quarrel, but only one to end it. Spanish Proverb The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn. Gloria Steinem Confidence, like art, never comes from having all the answers; it comes from being open to all the questions. Earl Gray Stevens The wise man doesnt give the right answers, he poses the right questions. Claude Levi-Strauss Life is ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent how I react to it. Charles Swindoll The argument culture urges us to approach the worldand the people in itin an adversarial frame of mind. It rests on the assumption that opposition is the best way to get anything done: The best way to discuss an idea is to set up a debate; the best way to cover news is to find spokespeople who express the most extreme, polarized views and present them as both sides; the best way to settle disputes is litigation that pits one party against the other; the best way to begin an essay is to attack someone; and the best way to show youre really thinking is to criticizeConflict and opposition are as necessary as cooperation and agreement, but the scale is off balance, with conflict and opposition over-weighted. Deborah Tannen If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. Carol Tavris We belong to each other. Mother Teresa It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the action that we do. Mother Teresa Peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of creative alternatives for responding to conflictalternatives to passive or aggressive responses, alternatives to violence. Dorothy Thompson It takes two to speak the truthone to speak and one to hear. Henry David Thoreau Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness. James Thurber

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? James Thurber There is a world of difference between reacting to an event in your life and responding to it. When you re-act, you are acting again, repeating a previous action. To respond implies a spontaneous and appropriate response to the situation. Michael Toms and Justine Willis Toms A good manager doesnt try to eliminate conflict; he tries to keep it from wasting the energies of his people. If youre the boss and your people fight you openly when they think that you are wrong thats healthy. Robert Townsend Knowledge becomes wisdom only after it has been put to good use. Mark Twain We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colorsbut they all exist very nicely in the same box. Unknown People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes. Abigail VanBuren Creativity comes from a conflict of ideas. Donatella Versace Appreciation is a wonderful thing: it makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well. Voltaire People may claim, We are aggressive by natureI say we shouldnt delude ourselves about how aggressive we are. We can breed pit bull terriers to be aggressive; we can breed mice to be aggressive; and while I hope no one will ever do it, we could probably breed people to be aggressive. There is a genetic component, Im convinced, in human aggressive behavior. But at the same time it is clear that we also have lot of natural mechanisms for cooperation, to keep conflict in check, to channel aggression, and to overcome conflict. These are just as natural to us as the aggressive tendencies. Frans de Waal It isnt a mistake to have strong views. The mistake is to have nothing else. Anthony Weston Ive found that I can only change how I act if I stay aware of my beliefs and assumptions. Thoughts always reveal themselves in behavior. Margaret Wheatley Have you learned lessons only of those who admired you, and were tender with you, and stood aside for you? Have you not learned great lessons from those who braced themselves against you, and disputed the passage with you? Walt Whitman I would not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum. Frances Willard Many promising reconciliations have broken down because, while both parties come prepared to forgive, neither party comes prepared to be forgiven. Charles Williams

What I know for sure is that the only way to endure the quake is to adjust your stance. You cant avoid the daily tremors. Dont fight them. Just find a different way to stand. Oprah Winfrey Assumptions are the termites of relationships. Henry Winkler