THE ROAD -TO LOVE

by Jackee C.

It was a warm fall afternoon. The trees were

turning their respective fall shades. The
shades of richness, the summer having past.
Tamellyn Brinkman placed steady pressure to
the gas pedal of her sky blue Pontiac. The
engine kicked in and the vehicle shot out into
the late afternoon traffic. Building winds
gusted through her window, tossing the deep
brown waves that fell below her shoulders,
matching the emotional turmoil that whipped
through her heart.
Ahead, a traffic signal changed to yellow.
Distracted, Tamellyn nearly missed it, and was
forced to hit the brakes with more force than
she liked. That too added to her anger,
increasing a sense of complete powerlessness
in her life.
The flash of white and blue on the seat beside
her caught her glance. The book. Grasping it
up, she flung it out the window in an
uncharacteristic display to temper. It landed
on the asphalt with a dull thud. The bow was
still on it. Anger melded to hurt, and tears
rose, stinging her eyes. She wiped them
angrily away, and instead of waiting for the
light to change to green, pulled into the right
hand lane and made a turn down a side road.
This road was quiet and less traveled. Broad
trees and quiet homes set far off from the
roadway didn't mar the beauty. Any other day
and she might have admired the architecture
that so complimented its surroundings. But
not today. Today Tammy didn't see the
artistry, nor the dark clouds that were quickly
rolling in. Her mind's eye had taken her back
to the scene at Acme Corporate Industries less
than thirty minutes earlier...

She'd practically danced into the reception

area of the engineering outer offices. Sarah
had grinned wickedly in her direction.
"Still on the honeymoon, I see." Sarah
Richards, ACI's receptionist, had giggled as
she picked up the receiver to page David
Brinkman. Tamellyn had worked at ACI
before she and David were married six
months earlier. She'd begun doing outside
programming from her home office before she
and David had married. After their marriage,
she'd made it a full-time endeavor.
"Tam, honey, you're positively glowing,"
Sarah continued, placing the phone back in its
cradle. Sarah's voice dropped conspiratorially.
"What's going on here? Is there something I
should know about?"
Tammy smiled sweetly at her. " Why Sarah, I
don't know what you're talking about. I'm no
different than any other day."
"Sure," Sarah nodded as if not quite believing
her. The phone rang and Sarah turned to
answer it just as David Brinkman rounded the
corner.
David Brinkman was a tall, well-built man. He
wore his dark hair combed neatly away from
his brow. Warm hazel eyes that always
seemed to have a smile were focused on
Tammy. But, they weren't smiling.
Tammy's own smiled faltered when her eyes
fell to the dark-haired Katena Burganslova.
Simply put, in Tammy's mind, Katena was
gorgeous without even trying. Tammy felt
dowdy in the face of the woman's exotic
beauty. It hadn't helped her self-esteem that
the woman seemed uninterested in a
friendship with her, but hang unto David's
every word.
"Um, do you have a minute honey?" Tammy
spoke softly to her husband. She smiled
politely to acknowledge Katena's presence.
Katena returned the smile distantly.
"Only a minute," David said brusquely, not
appearing to notice the by-play between
Tammy and Katena. "I don't have much time."
Tammy frowned at David's obvious
impatience. What had she done wrong?
"Can we talk in private, please" she said
eyeing the busy foyer. People were always
coming and going through the automatic glass
doors.
"all right, come on down to my office," he
gestured on down the hall. Tammy followed
David, and Katena fell in step behind Tammy.
Tammy thought she could feel the woman's
eyes boring into her back.
"I'll be ready in just a minute Katy," David
paused at his door. Opening the door he
allowed Tammy to enter before himself. His
desk was full of papers; his computer screen
saver had kicked in; memos were piled in his
in-basket, all the evidence suggested that he
was having a very busy day. But, to Tammy,
none of those things were important because
she had news for her husband that simply
couldn't wait until he got home.
"Uh, David, I've got great news for you," she
began, barely able to hide her smile in spite of
his rotten mood. She even ignored the way he
was glancing at his watch. "I'll give you three
guesses," she giggled.
"Tammy, I have a very important meeting in
five minutes. Could you skip to the condensed
version, please?" David asked. He was still
standing near the door, Tammy noticed, and
he hadn't even given her a welcoming hug or
even said hello for that matter. She faltered.
"I'll just tell you when you get home," she said
uncertainly and headed for the door.
Gathering her heavy purse with the book with
the pink and blue ribbon on it inside, to her.
David stepped in front of her, irritation
flashing across his face. "Come on tell me now,
you came all the way down here and dragged
me into my office. The least you could do is
tell me." He spoke reasonably, like he was
talking to someone who only had half of the
normal God-given intelligence.
She looked up at him uncomfortably and
suddenly felt like crying. "David," she said,
"we're going to have a baby."
David simply stared at her for a full second,
"What?" he asked after a minute. Tammy
repeated what she'd said. "But, I thought we
were careful?" he said.
"David, aren't you happy?" Tammy asked in a
small voice. He came to her then, taking her
into his arms.
"Of course, honey. I'm happy if you are."
Tammy pushed him away. "You don't want
this baby do you? Admit it!"
"Look, Tamellyn, I don't have time for this.
Katy's waiting for me. We'll talk about this
when I get home. I'll be about seven again." he
added, already heading for the door.
"So you have time for her but not me," Tammy
said, not quite able to stop herself in time.
David spun on her, angry now, "I'm not going
to discuss this with you right now, Tamellyn."
he spoke softly before turning to open the
door to allow her to leave.
Tammy stepped through the door with as
much dignity as she could muster. To her
dismay, Katena was standing there with a
small smile on her lips. Tammy walked on by
her and down the hall. She heard Katena ask
David if anything was wrong. She barely
caught David's reply "Oh, it's nothing..."
Tammy stopped dead in her tracks and turned
toward David and Katena's receding backs.
Katena had reached out a hand and touched
his arm and said something to him that
Tammy couldn't hear. The hollow feeling in
the pit of her stomach took her breath.
Clenching her fists, she headed out the door.
At least Sarah was away from the desk and
therefore couldn't ask any impossible
questions.
When her eyes refocused on the road it was to
see large droplets of water on the windshield
and falling into the car through the open
window. Quickly she rolled the window up
and looked for a familiar looking street she
could take home. Unfortunately, nothing
looked familiar. As far as she could tell she
was really out in the boonies.
The rain fell from the sky in buckets, and she
eventually had to pull off the road to wait it
out. The steady rains gradually eased her
tormented psyche, eventually causing her hurt
and anger to abate to a dull throb. By the time
the rain had stopped she'd sworn off men, all
of them. She decided one David Brinkman
was not important enough to ruin her life. She
could forget him and easily as he seemed to
have forgotten she was his wife.
Pulling back on to the road she saw an
intersection far ahead. The light was still green
from the distance. She decided to let it turn
red, she was in no hurry to beat it as the roads
were far too slippery for safety
A small brown sports car quickly gaining on
her caused her to gasp. She peered into the
rear view at the man who impatiently honked
his horn in an effort to get her to hurry up. The
oncoming traffic made it impossible for him to
pass on the two-lane road.
As they neared the intersection, Tammy could
see that on the other side of the light the road
broadened into four lanes. Obviously sports
car saw that too. The light was still green but
Tammy slowed anyway as it could change at
any second and she wanted to be able to stop
if it did. She had to admit a little of her anger
at all males as a gender caused her to want to
teach sports car a lesson.
When the light continued green, she decided
to speed up and go on through. Someone else
would have the dubious task of teaching
sports fiend. Sports car had other ideas. He
quickly cut his wheel to the right as if to circle
around her as they reached the intersection.
She turned to look in his direction only to find
that he was giving her a furious glare and a
vulgar finger motion of out the window.
"Men!" she ground under her breath as she
turned back forward. A white station wagon
was halfway through a right handed turn onto
the outside lane up ahead. Directly in the path
of sports car.
Tammy knew with sick certainty what was
going to happen next. Though she slammed
on her brakes, momentum carried her further
along into the intersection. Sports car had no
place to go, and he was moving far too quickly
to stop. What was more, Tammy didn't even
know if he was paying attention. With the first
sickening crunch of metal, she closed her eyes
and screamed.

Chapter Two

When Tammy opened her eyes, she found that

her airbag had deployed. Smoke, and the acrid
smell of charges filled the inside of her car.
Coughing she got out and looked at the mess
around her. The passenger side of her car was
crushed. There was a brown car smashed in on
two sides and a station wagon with a smashed
rear end and a fourth car that had received
damage.
Reaching a hand up to her acting face, Tammy
headed in the direction of a child crying. She
stumbled over something. Looking down she
saw that it looked vaguely familiar. Focusing
harder, she tried to concentrate. Then
suddenly she realized what the object was. It
was a man's forearm.
With that realization, everything around her
went immediately out of focus. Her vision
tunneled, and the rushing winds of
unconsciousness rolled over her.
~*~
The meeting hadn't turned out the way David
had planned it. He felt mostly to blame. He
could barely think after the bombshell Tammy
had dropped on him just prior. Sitting at the
conference table he placed his head in his
hands. At least now he knew why Tammy had
been so moody lately. It was just too soon. She
was trying to get her own business off the
ground, and the fall was a particularly busy
time for ACI as well as for her and Tammy.
They hadn't really had time to enjoy one other.
Besides, they had planned to wait two more
years before they had children. Why hadn't
she followed the plan?
Katy stuck her head around the corner, having
led the visitors out of the complex. "David, are
you sure you're okay?" she asked in her lightly
accented voice.
David nodded disheartenedly. "Yeah," he
sighed. "I'm all right. Sorry about what
happened; I wasn't at my best. I just hope it
wasn't too obvious. "
Katy grinned wryly, "You seemed a bit
preoccupied. That's not so bad. It actually
allowed me to get in some well needed
practice. Overall, I think they thought you
were just training me. I think it turned out to
be a good thing." She looked at the sad
expression still lingering around his eyes.
"Well, if you need someone to talk to, you
know where I am. Anytime." She allowed the
invitation to hang open as she always did.
David smiled wryly up at her. She had been a
good friend. Even though Tammy's moods
had strained their relationship lately, he could
always rely on Katy to be the same. A sudden
page by Sarah, alerting him that he had a call
on line 17 precluded his saying anything on
the subject.
Standing, he reached across the large
conference table for the phone. "This is David
Brinkman." He spoke into the receiver.
~*~
Katy was leaving the room when she heard
David's sharp inhalation. She turned to see
that he'd gone at least 3 shades paler.
"Which hospital?" he asked in a choked voice.
A moment later he slammed the receiver
down and was out of the office passed Katena
like a shot.
"David, what's wrong?" she called after him to
no avail. She doubted that he had even heard
her. She rounded the corner into the reception
area just as Sarah jumped out of his way. The
older woman's worried gaze looked with hers.
"Was that Tamellyn that called?" Katena
asked. Something seemed terribly wrong here
and she meant to find out what it was.
"No, " Sarah thought back to the phone call.
"Actually he introduced himself as Lt. Reiter
with the city police dept. I thought it had
something to do with radar equipment or
something."
Katena shook her head, "No, that couldn't
have been it. David was pretty shaken up by
whatever they told him. In fact, I think he's
going to the hospital. I just don't know which
one."
Sarah's eyes widened and she gasped in
horror. "The hospital, how do you know that?"
"I heard him ask," Katena said. "And David
was as white as a sheet when he asked it, too.
Something is very wrong here, Sarah."
"I hope it's not Tammy," Sarah breathed a
small prayer. "Whatever it is, though, we're
going to have to wait for David to tell us."
"I guess you are right." Katena said. "I
certainly hope it's nothing serious." She
headed down the hall toward her office. But,
neither she nor Sarah could keep their mind
off whatever it was that was happening with
David.
~*~
David parked in the emergency room parking
lot. By the time he arrived in rush hour traffic
it was getting dark. He jogged up to the glass
doors and stopped short. He could do this, he
told himself, raking a hand through his hair.
Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he
entered the emergency room.
A central desk sat at the head of two corridors
leading off in opposing directions. He
approached the desk. "I'm David Brinkman,
my--my wife Tamellyn Brinkman was in an
accident and I got a call, saying she has been
admitted here. Where is she?" David asked.
The heavy set nurse behind the station looked
up at him, "Just a moment, sir," she said,
picking up the phone. She spoke so softly into
the receiver that David couldn't make out
what she was saying. A minute later, she hung
up, telling him that someone would be coming
down to meet with him, all the while she was
writing on a clip board.
Without missing a beat, she handed the
clipboard to him. "If you would just give us
some information, meanwhile."
David numbly nodded his head as the woman
began to ask her questions.
"Do you have insurance Mr. Brinkman or will
you be making other arrangements?"
The nurse asked matter of factly. She had
obviously asked the same question many
times before that very day.
"Yes, I have an insurance card." David
answered. Reaching for his wallet he pulled it
out and handed it to the nurse.
"Would you mind removing the card from
your wallet, sir?" the nurse asked. David
realizing his mistake apologized and removed
the card. His hands were shaking so badly, he
could barely retrieved the laminated card.
Looking toward the two corridors, he
wondered when the someone that the nurse
had promised him would arrive.
"Is your correct address: 1532 Wayfarer
Drive?" the nurse asked. "Does your wife have
any allergies that you are aware of?" "Who is
your wife's regular doctor?" "Does your wife
have any dangerous or unusual medical
conditions that we should be aware of?" David
answered all of them distractedly between
glances down the two corridors. Then it
occurred to him, " She's pregnant!" he
exclaimed. "I just found out today."
The nurse paused at his revelation and made a
notation in all capital letters at the bottom of
the page. A young man dressed in a hospital
uniform stepped toward the desk. The nurse
pointed to David, "If you'll follow Julian, Mr.
Brinkman."
David followed Julian around the corner to the
elevator. "How is she?" he asked when the
doors closed.
"I'm afraid I don't have any information, sir,"
Julian told him. "The doctor will talk to you
when we reach the floor."
David nodded his head and watched as the
numbers continued their slow climb to the
sixth floor. Julian pointed him toward another
desk as he exited the elevator. Julian went
back with the elevator.
David started down the hall toward the desk.
The nurse looked up as he approached. "I'm
David Brinkman. My wife is here." he said.
"Yes," the nurse nodded. "Please, have a seat in
the waiting area. It's just around the corner to
the left. The doctor will be out to see you in a
few minutes." David looked around tiredly at
the other people in the waiting area. Several
plants lined the walls and hung at the
window. A stack of newspapers and
magazines sat on a central table. A coffee pot
sat in the corner. With the sign: Feel free to
have a cup of coffee. Compliments of Ward 6
staff. Taking a chair in the corner, David tried
to focus on anything but the worries that were
plaguing him.
"Mr. Brinkman," a voice called from the
doorway. David looked in the direction of the
door. A tall man dressed in a white lab coat
stood in the doorway with a chart in his
hands.
"Yes?" he said, standing.
"Come with me," the man said. David
followed. "I'm Dr. Lyons," he introduced
himself. "I was the examining physician at the
time your wife was admitted," he said.
"She has a couple of bruised ribs and a major
concussion. Also a sprained wrist. Those
things she will recover from. Unfortunately,
there was nothing we could do for the
developing fetus. The shock of the accident
was simply too much. She lost the baby. By the
time she reached the hospital, it was too late."
The doctor's sympathetic tone was almost too
much for David. He cut him off. He needed to
be with Tammy now. He knew that she had
really wanted this baby.
"Can I see her?" he asked. "She only found out
for sure today."
The doctor nodded his understanding, and
gestured down the hall. "Her room is this way.
She hasn't regained consciousness." He came
to a stop in front of room E-617. "If you need
me, I'm Dr. Lyons. Just ask any nurse."
Chapter Three

David shook the man's hand before stepping

into the dimly lit room. There among the
assorted monitoring machines lay Tamellyn,
seeming so small against the green sheets. Her
dark hair was spread out across the sheets.
Her face was swollen and bruised. The right
arm was bandaged, the left had an IV tube
leading beneath the white medical tape.
David stared down at his wife. The doctor had
said she would be all right. The bruises would
heal he knew. He had so many questions
about the accident. He needed to talk to
someone who could tell him what had
happened. Tammy would not be in any
condition to talk about, it he felt sure.
He almost hoped that she remained
unconscious for a while longer because he had
no idea how he was going to tell her about the
baby. He would much rather save her from
that pain. Pulling a chair nearer the bed, he
sat.
A though occurred to David. Had Tammy told
her mother, Elaine Veneze? She lived fifty
miles away in Valuma County. It came as a
shock that it was his job to contact her. And
what about Steven, Tamellyn's brother.
Brushing a piece of hair away from the
bandage above her right eye, he left the room
to call her mother.
When he reached Elaine she was just leaving
her flower shop. She carried the cellular phone
so she could easily be reached. She'd reacted
very calmly when David gave her the news,
and promised that she would be coming up
right away to be with her daughter. David
asked her if she would get in touch with
whomever else she thought needed to know.
He didn't want to leave Tammy alone for too
long. The last thing he wanted was for her to
wake up by herself.
"Of course I will," Elaine said. "And David,"
she added, her tone steady. "She's going to be
just fine. She's a strong woman."
David thanked Elaine for her encouragement
replacing the phone. As he was turning to
leave the waiting area, he heard a young
woman in the corner cry out in anguish. One
of the doctors was trying to calm her. She
didn't appear to have any family with her.
David suddenly felt a strange empathy for her.
He'd lost both his parents when he was very
young, and had been raised by an aunt. Aunt
Adelle had died when he was in college. Aside
from Tammy, he technically had no family. He
was alone in the world.
Turning he hurried on toward Tammy's room.
He remembered that he didn't want her to
wake up alone. Rushing into the room, he
stopped short when he saw that she was still
asleep. Slowing, he approached the bed. The
piece of hair had again fallen across her
bandage. He reached up to remove it again
and she stirred. He froze as he waited for her
to open her eyes.
Moaning softly under her breath, her eyes
slowly opened. David's hand was in the
middle of the act of brushing hair off her
brow. She focused confusedly on his hand.
Drawing his arm away, David welcomed her
back to reality, "Hello Sunshine," he gave her
his best grin.
She looked at him with a deeper confusion,
then turning her head she looked toward the
many machines near the bedside, her eyes
tracking slowly around the unfamiliar area.
Finally they settled once again on the man
who was staring at her with an odd expression
on his face. She closed her eyes again.
David just stood there. Though he desperately
wanted to take her into his arms, he didn't for
fear of hurting her. Leaning over the bedside,
he settled instead for words of comfort.
"Everything is going to be all right now,
honey. I'm going to be right here with you--
helping, you."
"What's going on?" she whispered hoarsely
through dry lips. She opened her eyes and
looked uncertainly up toward him. "What
happened? What am I doing here?" she asked,
tears began to well up in her eyes. An
explicable fear was growing in her eyes.
"You had an accident," David said very
slowly, taking her hand into his. It was cold.
He wrapped his other hand around it, too.
"Your mother is on the way," he added,
thinking that might calm her. "She should be
here in about an hour."
Tammy looked at him confused. "My mother?"
she asked. Looking around the room at the
machines the were above and around the bed,
she finally looked back toward him. She
looked, if possible, more frightened. "I'm in the
hospital aren't I?" she asked.
"Yes, the accident...remember," David said.
Then immediately wondered if he should have
worded that differently.
"Umm...are you the doctor?" As she spoke a
single tear spilled over. "I can't remember
anything," she cried. The tears gathered and
began to stream streamed over her checks in
rapid succession.
David looked at her stunned, utterly at a loss.
"Uh," he began, "Your name is Tamellyn
Brinkman. You are in St. Elijas Medical Center
Hospital. You were in a car accident earlier
today. My name is David Brinkman, I'm your
husband. Don't you remember me at all?"
David asked, unsure if he could contain the
fear that gnawed at his gut.
"No!" Tammy cried harder. "I don't know
you." She dragged her hand away from him,
covering her face, shaking her head. Crying
obviously caused her pain, as she wrapped her
arms around her mid section. She seemed to
have trouble catching her breath.
David reached for her in an attempt to calm
her and she shrunk, horrified, back against the
bed. Her lack of memory frightened him, but
her outright rejection hurt. He stood,
bewildered before bolting out of the door in
search of the doctor.
"I need a doctor down here," he yelled from
the doorway. "Room 614," he yelled, looking
over his shoulder to check the room number.
He heard running footsteps . Two nurses and
Dr. Lyons were headed his way. They
immediately took in the situation and went to
work. An oxygen mask was placed on
Tammy's face and a sedative was put in her
IV.
David stood near the doorway as Dr. Lyons
ordered follow up drugs. When he'd
completed his orders he looked at a few of the
monitors and wrote something on her chart.
Taking one last look at his patient, he turned
to a worried David.
"My office is just around the corner," he said
opening the door for David to pass.
Seated behind his desk he spoke again, "Mind
telling me what happened in there?" His face
lacked expression, but David thought he
detected mild accusation in his tone.
Chapter Four
"She woke up and asked me who I was,"
David started, "Who she was. She was
panicking. I was trying to calm her. I held her
hand and told her she had been in an accident
and I told her her name and my name. I told
her that I was her husband and she
just...freaked." David got up from his chair
agitated. "She was terrified, and when I tried
to help her she started...hyperventilating "
David's voice was getting louder, and he
found himself consciously fighting for control.
Taking a deep breath, he shot the doctor an
apologetic glance. "I'm sorry, this is hard."
Then taking another deep breath, he
continued. "That was when I called for help. I
didn't know what else to do."
Dr. Lyons sat scratching his chin. "Your
reaction is understandable under the
circumstances, Mr. Brinkman. But after a
shock of this nature it is not out of the realm of
possibility for there to be some memory loss.
Give her some time. In most cases memory
returns in a few hours or days.
"Normally dealing with family triggers it.
Does she have any other family in the area?
It's possible that the combination of you and
another close family member will trigger her
memory."
David listened intently to the doctor's words.
"Her mother is on the way," he said hopefully.
"She has a brother in Caledonia. I think she
has a lot of cousins someplace."
The doctor raised a hand. "We'll see how it
goes with her mother before we call in the
entire calvary. It really should be just fine, Mr.
Brinkman."
~*~
Elaine Veneze entered her daughter's hospital
room. The banks of machines lining one side
of her daughters bed reminded her sharply of
a time not so long ago when her husband,
Albert Veneze, had been in a similar situation.
Pushing the uncomfortable thoughts away,
she stepped toward her son-in-law who sat
hunched in a chair near the bed. It was
obvious that he had not heard her enter.
She touched his shoulder softly and offered
him the wrapped parcel of food she'd brought.
She was sure he hadn't eaten.
David looked forlornly up at her and a weak
smile crossed his lips. "Hello, Elaine," he
whispered, standing. He allowed her to
envelope him in a warm hug before leading
her out of the room.
"There's something you should know." he said
once they were in the hallway. He quickly told
her the facts concerning Tammy's amnesia and
what little he knew about the accident and
about the baby they had lost. Elaine schooled
her features for each blow. David was having
a difficult enough time dealing with the
situation without her breaking down. When
David finished speaking, his voice wavering,
Elaine reached for his hand.
"We have to be strong for her, David," she told
him matter-of-factly. "And I don't think that
now is a good time to tell her about the baby.
It is enough to help her remember her life."
David sniffed and nodded, offering a genuine
smile. "I'm glad you came." He hugged her
again. "I don't know what I would have done
alone."
"You would have been just fine," Elaine
insisted. "You heard from a stranger. I heard
from you," she said. "Come on, let's go be with
her."
The doctor told them that the sedatives they
had given her would last through the night,
and urged them both to go home to rest.
Elaine had been much more willing than
David. It took the persuasive powers of both
Dr. Lyons and Elaine to convince him that
Tammy would need for him to have all of his
strength the next day. They arrived back at the
hospital at seven o' clock the next morning.
To both their surprises, Tammy was awake
and having breakfast. She looked blankly from
Dr. Sommers, who was the duty doctor for the
day to David and Elaine.
"Tammy I have some people who have been
very anxious to see you." Dr. Sommers said
gently.
Tammy's wide eyes settled on David and
Elaine, a moment of confusion dancing in their
depths.
"Oh, my little Tamly," Elaine said softly, "It's
your mum. I even brought your rabbity."
Elaine pulled out the little stuffed rabbit from
her purse.
Tammy reached out for it, tears welling in her
eyes, "Oh, mama," she cried, going into
Elaine's arms. She choked back the tears that
threatened to follow. "I'm sorry, I just couldn't
remember. I--I so..."
"Shhh," Elaine said. "It's all right honey, it's all
right. You've had a terrible shock. It's not an
unusual thing. But, everything will be fine.
You'll see."
Tammy laid her head against her mother's
shoulder. Elaine continued to speak, "Tammy
honey, this is David," she gestured in David's
direction. "About six months ago the two of
you were married. David has your wedding
album. Would you like to see it?"
Tammy looked at Elaine and then to David
and then she nodded slightly.
David watched intently as she opened the
album. She turned through nearly all of the
pages before slamming the book shut. She
turned to her mother, "Mum, this can't be my
wedding album!" she said.
"Why not?" Elaine asked stunned.
"Well, where's Daddy? Daddy wouldn't miss
my wedding!" Tammy said looking accusingly
at her mother.
Elaine gasped, taken aback. Her husband
Albert had died two years ago. Both she and
Tammy had had a difficult time with it. Elaine
had moved out of the family home and into a
condo where she had started a small business.
Tammy had found happiness with David after
moving to the city.
David blinked, and looked toward Elaine who
was quickly losing her cool. He placed on
hand reassuringly on her shoulder and the
other on Tammy's.
"Tammy honey, I'm afraid your father died
two years ago." Thinking back, David was
surprised to find it had been two years ago
exactly yesterday. Tammy glared at him. "No,"
she said. "That's not true. You are a liar! I
never married you! You're a liar and I hate
you!"
David stood staring at his wife, half stunned.
Tammy turned away from him, burrowing
herself into Elaine's embrace. She wept
brokenly against her mother's shoulder.
David turned his shocked gaze toward Elaine.
She didn't know that she could do anything to
help him over the hurt Tammy's words had
caused. Right now her daughter needed her
more. Her eyes implored that he not take the
unthinking words to heart.
His eyes fell toward the wedding album.
Absently he traced the embossed date and the
names of Mr. And Mrs. David Brinkman. Then
sighing, he dropped his hands away and
slowly walked from the room.
~*~
"Mr. Brinkman?"
David vaguely heard someone calling his
name. His mind was much too numb to put a
name to the voice. Slowly, he turn to face the
speaker.
"Mr. Brinkman," Doctor Sommers repeated. "I
think your wife should speak with someone.
The situation seems to have become
considerably more complex than we at first
thought."
"Yeah," David nodded. "I think that's a true
statement," his voice was edged with sarcasm.
He felt that they should have been prepared
for something like this after she panicked the
night before; the night she didn't even seem to
remember.
The doctor continued, "I'd like to recommend
a Dr. Gaylin. He's a specialist in unusual cases
of memory loss, such as this appears to be. If I
recommend your wife's case to him, I'm sure
he'd be willing to at least talk to her. He's
made great strides in this area."
David was exhausted and had hardly slept the
night before. He decided to allow the doctor's
opinion to stand. "Okay, doctor. Whatever you
think is best. I don't know anything about
psychology of medicine. I just know that I
want my wife back." Turning his back on the
white clad doctor, he walked out to the
waiting room.
Later Elaine came out to find him. "I talked to
the Dr. about the psychotherapist," she said
without preamble. When David didn't
respond she continued, "She's sleeping now.
Cried herself to sleep, just like when she was a
little girl." She paused again, her gaze fixing
on him. David refused to look up.
"You and she met several months after Albert
died. You didn't know how close they were;
how hard she took it. When she decided to
take a job here, I was a little worried. But then
she met you. It was like she came back to life.
That alone helped me. David. I can't watch her
go through this all over. You saved her before.
You can do it again."
David remained unmoving. Elaine sighed and
made ready to get up from her chair.
"Elaine," David called, still not looking up. "I
have to save her if I am to save myself." He
stood up slowly from his chair and went to be
with his wife.
~*~
Dr. Gaylin Santos was a tall man with a slight
accent. He stared across the table at Elaine and
David. "I have to know everything," he said.
"She's blocked two complete years, in a
memory block so selective there has to be
some reason."
Elaine told him of her husband's sudden heart
attack, and the depression that followed for
Tammy. David told of their last conversation.
He was ashamed that he hadn't been more
supportive at the time. She had been telling
him something that was obviously very
important to her."
"Well, that's a start." Gaylin said. "I'll do some
studying while her body heals. After, we will
concentrate on her mind. If of course it is still
necessary at that time." He looked toward
David, "I'll contact you when I'm ready."
"She is supposed to go home tomorrow."
David spoke up. "Which home should she go
to?"
"To her home, of course." Gaylin replied as if it
were simple.
"With her mother or with me," David
reiterated.
"Mr. Brinkman, if your wife is to remember
her home, you must think that way also. The
two of you have built a life, a home together.
That is her home now--no offense at all to you
Mrs. Veneze."
"None taken," Elaine put in, a hopeful smile on
her face. It was obvious that she liked Gaylin
Santos.
David took a deep breath, ignoring the by-
play. "I guess, I should be the one to tell her?"
he said. He steeled himself for another
difficult task. He hoped she wouldn't become
hysterical again.
"Sir, you sound as if it should be bad news.
Aren't patients happy to be going home from
hospital? So why do you have to break it to
her at all. When it is time to go home simply
take her there. There is to be no question about
it." Gaylin pushed himself up from his seat
and handed David a card. "There is a number
where you may contact me if you need me.
Good day to you both." Dr. Gaylin walked out
of the conference room leaving Elaine and
David to stare after him.
Chapter Five
"Good evening, Tammy," David said as he
stepped through the doorway and smiled
encouragingly at his wife. Dr. Santos had said
to act normally--there was no time like the
present to put the advice to use. As Tammy
eyed him warily across the bed, David
discovered that it was much easier said than
done. The situation was anything but normal.
"Hello," she spoke cautiously, then went
uncomfortably back to her perusal of the
television. Elaine had left minutes earlier in an
attempt to give husband and wife some alone
time. David felt somewhat lost without the
buffer of her presence. Working to hide his
trepidation, he came the rest of the way into
the room.
"I Love Lucy" reruns were on. He watched
absently for several minutes before speaking.
"Tamellyn, I wanted--".
"Everyone calls me Tam," she cut him off. Her
eyes bore into his, saying plainly that he knew
nothing about her and therefore couldn't
possibly be her husband.
"Okay...Tam," David started again. The name
felt unfamiliar--as long as he had known her
she had never gone by the name Tam. Perhaps
she was someone else. "You always called me
David," he said solemnly, his emotions
carefully hidden behind an expressionless
facade. She couldn't know how difficult it was
to see her this way, almost hating him. As he
watched her, her expression shifted suddenly,
etching confused furrows across her brow.
"What is it?" he asked, his facade failing him.
"Did you remember something?" Anxious
curiosity had him moving around the bed to
take hold of her hands. "Stay with it, Tammy."
Tammy looked toward him searchingly,
confusion evident in her eyes. But he could tell
that she wasn't seeing him as he gaze was
focused elsewhere. Then, blinking, she pulled
her hands away and shook her head. "It was
nothing, um...just a flash."
"A flash is something," David insisted,
refusing to let go of his hope. "It could be the
beginning of your memory returning. We
need to get you out of here and back home,
and then we can go to--"
Tammy's eyes widened in growing horror.
"I'm--I'm tired," she stuttered. "Where's my
mother?"
David was brought up short by the urgency of
her question. "I'm sorry," he said, drawing
himself away from her and toward one of the
bedside chairs. "I should be letting you get
some rest." Then, as if suddenly remembering
her question, "Elaine will be back in the
morning."
He settled quietly and unseeingly watched the
remainder of the episode of 'I Love Lucy'. Joy
suffused him at the thought that Tammy's
memory might be returning, but he felt
ashamed of that joy because the proposition so
obviously frightened Tammy. Fear assaulted
his heart as another thought occurred to him.
What if after she regained her memory, she
didn't want him? What if after the way that he
had treated her in his office, she never wanted
to see him again?
He turned toward her and found that she had
fallen asleep. Flipping off the television, he
moved quietly out of the room. The nurses
would not have to kick him out this night.
~*~
When David arrived home, Elaine was busy
making dinner. David stopped briefly by the
kitchen and waved at her, telling her that she
didn't need to prepare anything for him, and
then he set off upstairs. The last thing he felt
like doing was eating.
Elaine was hot on his heels within moments.
"Surely you don't think you're going to get
away with that?" she asked him.
David turned and shot her a look. "Elaine, I'm
tired. I just want to get some sleep. Aren't you
and the nurses and everyone telling me how I
need to conserve my strength. I'm actually
being obedient."
"David," Elaine admonished him gently.
"What happened?"
"I..." He began. Then, running a hand through
his hair, he settled on the stairs. Elaine seated
herself next to him, patiently waiting.
"She remembered something today," he said
quietly.
"But David, that's wonderful!" Elaine
enthused. "What did she remember? How
does she feel about it?"
"It was just a small thing," David said.
"Probably more a feeling, or a sense of
familiarity or something. She said it was just a
flash. She never mentioned an image."
"Why is that a bad thing?" Elaine wanted to
know. "You came into the front door as if your
world were ending."
"That bad, huh?" David looked up at her, a
wry smile lit his face in spite of his worry.
Elaine nodded in the affirmative, matching his
smile. He chuckled slightly, then continued.
"I was mean to her, Elaine," he said with a
gulp. "That day, before the accident, she came
to my office to tell me about the baby. I was so
worked up about a big meeting with a client
that I was very short with her. I think I hurt
her feelings. And I think she thought I was
interested in another woman."
"Were you?" Elaine asked.
"No!" David objected. "Not at all. Tammy is
the woman I love, I was just nervous about
something else is all. I felt so bad about it, I
couldn't concentrate during the meeting
anyway."
Elaine was quiet for several seconds. "What
would you have done if this accident hadn't
happened?"
"I would have come straight home and
apologized, and then I would have taken her
out to celebrate."
"Do you think she would have accepted your
apology, or would she have left you?" Elaine
asked.
David smiled, beginning to feel a weight lift. "I
would like to think that she would have
forgiven me...eventually, after making me
work for it." Images played through his mind
of other arguments, and the ways Tammy had
made him 'work for it'. He was almost
embarrassed at having such thoughts in front
of his mother-in--law. Clearing his throat
uncomfortably to cover for the silent
moments, he continued, "Uh..we've had
arguments before and come through them."
Elaine smiled knowingly, patting his arm.
"And you'll come through this one," she said
tactfully. "Now, I've got to go tend dinner
before it burns. And you, young man, will eat
it."
David grinned, feigning submission. "Yes,
ma'am."
~*~
When David arrived at the hospital the next
morning, clean shaven and freshly showered,
Tammy was sitting up in bed, a breakfast tray
in front of her.
Good morning," he said, smiling happily at
her. She smiled back, obviously caught off
guard. Then catching herself, she asked where
her mother was.
"She's downstairs getting breakfast," David
answered with a grin. His mood would not be
broken. "You know how she is about making
sure everyone eats," he added conspiratorially.
"Yeah," Tammy agreed. "She is that." She
looked consideringly at David. "You seem to
know her pretty well."
"I suppose I do," David smiled thoughtfully.
"But she's a great lady, and easy to know."
Tammy frowned in surprise at his
complimenting her mother. "Aren't mother-in-
laws supposed to rank with the evil step-
mother to husbands?"
David laughed out right. "Tammy!" David
admonished, "Your mother and I get along
famously." There was a mischievous glint in
his eyes that hinted that there was far more to
the story than he was telling.
"Tell me how we met." Tammy asked,
curiosity obviously getting the better of her.
David was happy to tell her the story of the
way that they had met at Acme shortly after
she had entered the training program. He told
her of their whirlwind relationship, how they
had hit it off right away.
"I fell for you like a rock," David smiled at her,
remembering. He eyes widened incredulously
when Tammy blushed and began to stutter a
response. She was saved from having to
complete whatever her statement might have
been by Elaine's entrance with her arms
precariously full of pastries and coffee. David
got up quickly to her assist her.
"Morning, Sunshine," Elaine said, happily
handing off her bundles. "Today is go home
day. The doctor has high hopes about you
young lady."
David smiled as he watched mother and
daughter interact while they all ate pastries.
Tammy even ate a small one. It felt almost as if
he had his family back. Moments later, a nurse
appeared to remove Tammy's breakfast tray.
She was followed in by Dr. Lloyds who was
there to give a few guidelines before releasing
her. He handed David several prescriptions
for pain, and a sedative, and then he was gone.
"David, why don't you go down to the car and
get the clothes you brought?" Elaine suggested
meaningfully. David snapped out of the
pleasant reverie he had been immersed in.
"Oh, right. Of course." His eyes were drawn to
Tammy, and he smiled warmly. "I'll be back in
a few minutes."
Elaine waved at him, and Tammy only offered
a small confused smile. It was enough. He
turned and left the room.
Chapter Six
Tammy looked over at her mother as David
left. Elaine Veneze was not a very complicated
person, and Tammy could tell that she had
something she wanted to say. That was fine
with Tammy, because she had something she
wanted to say as well.
Instead of getting right to the point, Elaine
tidied the covers that were spread across
Tammy's waist and asked if she were excited
about going home.
A bevy of butterflies danced in Tammy's belly
at the mere mention of the word. Taking a
deep breath, she smiled at her mother. "It
would be wonderful if I could come home
with you, at least until David and I know one
another better."
Elaine studied her for several moments. "Do
you think that would be best, dear?" she
finally spoke.
"Yes, I do. I mean, David seems like a nice
man, but... I don't really know him, and, and
well, I don't know him," Tammy finished
uncomfortably. The truth was, Tammy felt a
growing attraction for the man that claimed to
be her husband. But what if she had forgotten
the past for a reason? Of course, she didn't
think he mother would lead her into a bad
situation. But what if she didn't know all the
details?
"David is a nice man, sweetheart, and he loves
you very much. The doctors say that the best
thing for you is to get back into a familiar
environment so that you can go on with your
life. Don't you want those two years back?"
"I don't know," Tammy said in a small voice.
"What if something horrible happened, Mom?
What if..."
"You were in an automobile accident," Elaine
said calmly. "Nothing more. Now, I'm going to
be staying with you and David for a couple
days, so I've got to earn my keep. I'm making a
very special dinner for your homecoming, and
I still have to pick up leeks."
Elaine stood up to leave, but paused. "I mean
what I say, Tamellyn. David does love you,
and whatever in your memory is frightening
you, he can help. Just give him a chance. If it
doesn't work out, my door is always open to
you, you know that."
Tammy nodded her thanks, and settled back
against the cushions. Everything would work
out, it had to.
~*~
David re-entered Tammy's room, a garment
bag hanging over his arm. Elaine was no
where to be seen. "Where'd she go?" David
asked.
"She said something about making a special
dinner and having to shop for it." Tammy told
him.
David raised his eyebrows at that, but said
nothing. "Well, I brought your favorite outfit
to wear home today. Would you like for me to
call the nurse to help you get dressed?"
"No," Tammy said, "I can do it." She took a
deep breath and slipped her legs over the side
of the bed. She was decidedly stiff and achy.
David had brought her a yellow drop waist
sundress and flat shoes that could not possibly
have been her favorite outfit. But it was
probably the easiest and most comfortable
thing for her to put on in her present
condition. Walking slowly toward the
bathroom, she looked at herself. Her hair was
a mess. With the brush David had brought she
tried to brush her hair, but she could barely
get her arms over her head without gasping in
pain
She turned at the light tap at the door. It could
be no one but David, and she had probably
been in the bathroom quite a while. "Come in,"
she called.
David creaked the door open and witnessed
her struggles. Without a word he took the
brush from her hands, and led her back to the
bed. With smooth motions, be began to brush
her tangled mass of hair. It was such a simple
thing, but Tammy found that she was deeply
touched by the action.
~*~
As David drove along the shady lane that lead
to he and Tammy's house, he kept a running
commentary going about the neighborhood.
He told her how much she had liked the way
the entire area smelled in the spring, and how
she'd insisted on planting honeysuckle along
the fence in their backyard. As it was early fall,
the trees were just beginning to change colors
and held the promise of a brilliant flourish of
colors. Tammy didn't speak through it all, but
David knew that she was listening, because
she smiled every so often. Mostly she looked
out of the windows and took it all in. They
had searched for months to find the
neighborhood, and it was having the same
effect on her as it had then. His Tammy had
fallen in love with it, it seemed as if this new
woman was fast falling for it as well.
Their house was situated in the middle of a
cul-de-sac. David pulled into the drive, and
brought the car to a stop. Smiling
encouragingly, he climbed out of the car, and
went to open Tammy's door.
She stepped out, an indefinable expression
glowing in her eyes. Carefully leading her up
to the front steps, he paused meaningfully in
front of the burgundy door. Tammy had
picked it out special. He watched her closely
for any sign of recognition. None came.
Not giving up, he slid his key into the lock,
and pushed the door open. The faint smell of
potpourri greeted them - thanks to Elaine. But
then, Tammy had learned that from her
mother, only she'd developed her own mix.
Tammy breathed in the smell, her eyes stormy
with some mix of emotions that David
couldn't began to sort out. She looked
carefully from one side to the other, her gaze
lingering on the flowers and brushes that
decorated the front of the house. Then, facing
forward again, she crossed the threshold.
They had both taken a part in decorating the
place. Nothing would have struck a cord as
having been from her previous life. David
followed her as she wandered through the
foyer and into the living room. She circled the
room and then entered the kitchen, dining
room and den, examining them likewise. Then
she started on the closets and the bathroom.
Finally she came to a door that opened to a set
of stairs.
"Your office," David supplied the answer to
the question that danced in her eyes among
the other emotions there. He reached past her
and clicked on the light switch. The steps were
plushly carpeted, but still they creaked under
her feet. As she reached for the hand rail, he
remembered that she had never liked long
stairwells.
At the bottom of the stairs was a finished
basement that had been made over into an
office. Several filing cabinets sat along one
wall and two desks sat nearby. The rest of the
room were filled with boxes. Neatly pilled
reams and sheets of paper were stacked on
one of the desks next to a computer. The other
desk contained a computer as well as other
office supplies. A stack of boxes finished off
the contents of the room. Tammy seemed to be
drawn to one of the computers, however.
David flipped a switch and the screen came to
life. "This one was a wedding gift," he said.
"You have an older one upstairs. Would you
like to see the upstairs?" he added.
Tammy nodded, and followed him to the first
level. Her motions were noticeably slower
than when they had first entered the house.
"Would you like a drink first?" David asked. "I
shouldn't have had you climbing all of those
steps. We're home for fifteen minutes, and
already I'm disobeying doctor's orders. I don't
know what I was thinking. Next time I'll..."
David continued to berate himself as Tammy
suddenly sank into a sitting position on the
nearest surface, which happened to be the
steps. David hovered, making sure that she
was okay. All the while, he continued
speaking. "I really should have carried you in.
I know you must have been--"
"David," Tammy finally spoke, her voice
edged with strain. "Could you stop that
please?"
David did. He stopped dead in his tracks.
"Stop what," he asked after a second. He's
searched his mind and couldn't figure out
what it was that he'd done wrong.
"Stop blaming yourself," Tammy said. "I'm a
grown woman, and I can take care of myself.
See..." she pushed herself up from the step to
illustrate just how capable she was. Her face
twisted slightly in pain and she swayed.
David reacted unconsciously, catching her
against himself. He held on to her for a second
to steady her. "Are you all right?" he asked. He
watched her intently for any sign of more
trouble.
Tammy's face flushed, embarrassed and a little
shaken, she pushed away from him, slowly.
"Fine. I'm fine, just not used to these steps is
all." She looked away and down to the floor
with a heavy sigh.
"Tamellyn--Tam," David started, and then
waited until she looked up to acknowledge
him. "I want to take care of you. I've taken
some time off so I can do just that. I know this
is all a bit...new to you, but I'm here to help in
any way you want me to."
He smiled then. "I'm used to these stairs," he
added. "I'll introduce you."
Tammy smiled back, "Could you introduce me
really quickly? I'm starting to feel just a bit
lightheaded."
"Your wish is my command, milady," David
responded, leading her up the stairs to their
bedroom. Tamellyn had decorated the room
completely from new. The only thing from her
past was the off white coverlet that covered
the King sized bed.
David helped her under the covers, and
placed her shoes near the bed. "I'll be right
back," he said going into the bathroom for a
dixie cup of water. Removing a small white
pill from one of the many bottles, he held it
out to her. He then left her alone in the room,
where she lay, running a hand absently along
the rough white coverlet. He wondered what
she was thinking.
Chapter Seven
David sat in the living room and watched the
video of their wedding. If someone had told
him when they were first married that he
would ever re-watch the thing, he would have
told them that they were crazy. But now, it
was all that he had to prove that the event had
actually occurred. And David needed that
reassurance that the vibrant young woman
who he'd married, who danced and laughed
and teased on the wedding video, was really
the pale, confused and frightened young
woman upstairs in his bed.
He was pulled from his musings by the sound
of doorbell ringing. Pushing himself up from
the sofa, he hurried to answer it.
Elaine's questioning gaze greeted him from
the opposite side of the door. "Is she sleeping?"
she whispered, seeming to notice right away
the stillness of the house. Even the sounds of
the grocery bags in her arms seemed muted.
"Yes," David answered, grabbing the bags
from her arms and delivering them to the
kitchen.
"Good," Elaine said, following.
"Good?" David glanced questioningly over his
shoulder at her.
"Yes, good," Elaine reaffirmed. "There's
something we need to talk about. I'm frankly
surprised the doctor didn't mention it. But he
probably didn't get to review all of the files,"
she quickly brushed the straying topic aside
and got back to her point.
"I've been thinking about this a lot. We need to
take Tammy to Albert's grave," she continued.
"I think that she needs to see the obituary, the
pictures, everything. Whatever it takes to sum
up the time she's...misplaced."
David was hesitant. "I don't know, Elaine.
Don't you think we should ease her into those
things, maybe give her a little time to get used
to the things we've already told her?"
"No, I don't," Elaine told him matter-of-factly.
"No matter how much advance warning we
get, death doesn't ease up on a person. It's
sudden and it's harsh, and it can be
devastating. But I think we should do this. The
longer we linger, the longer it will take for her
to get on with her life, for the two of you to get
on with your lives together."
"Okay," David agreed, still somewhat
reluctantly. "I guess you're right. You are older
and wiser," he said half-teasingly.
Elaine smacked him on the arm with a stalk of
celery.
David ducked, but continued, musing. "I
suppose some sense of moving on can only
help her. When do you want to do it? I've
taken a couple weeks off, so you just say when
is a good time for you."
"I think as soon as possible would be the best,"
Elaine said. "How about tomorrow? We could
drive up tomorrow. It's on this side of Valuma
county. The only question left is do you tell
her or do I?"
"I broke the news to her in the first place,"
David said grimly. "I guess I should be the
one." She couldn't possibly hate me any more,
he mentally added. "I'll tell her in the
morning," he continued aloud. "I'd like for her
to have a good nights sleep tonight."
Elaine nodded her agreement and David
finally noticed the items she was taking from
the bag. "What in the world are you making?"
he asked, taking in the exotic items she pulled
from the bag.
"Have you never had panuzit?" Elaine asked
smiling. "It was one of Tammy's favorites
growing up. It's been years since I made it. I
thought she might enjoy it."
David's brows raised as she ticked off the list
of ingredients, and his eyes bulged at her
finishing statement. "Traditionally it's made
with canine meat, but--"
"Oh, Elaine, please tell me you are not going to
pull any dog meat out of the bag. I had pets
growing up you know."
Elaine laughed at him. "How do you feel
about chicken? Care to try your own kind?"
"Call me what you like, lie to me if you have to
just don't tell me we're having dog meat for
dinner," David replied, moving to fold the bag
and put it in the recycle bin.
"Did you have anything planned for dinner by
the way?" Elaine asked, almost as an
afterthought.
"No, I actually hadn't thought much about it."
David admitted. "I thought I'd leave that to
you," he grinned innocently, "You have
such...interesting ideas about meat, though. I
might need to revise my opinion."
"Pay attention young man and learn," Elaine
shot back at him. "Here, cut these," she flung a
bag of carrots his way.
David grumbled good-naturedly but took the
bag.
"Can I trust you not to cut yourself?" Elaine
kidded.
A thump from upstairs cut off David's reply.
They both froze and then looked at one other.
David moved first, running toward the stairs.
He stopped short in the doorway to his
bedroom. Tammy was sitting up in bed, a
startled expression painted across her features.
David followed her gaze to the floor where
what used to be the entire contents of the
night stand lay across the carpeted floor. Chief
among the items was a then, mostly un-potted
plant--its dirt was splattered all over the
carpet as were several of its broken green
leaves.
Tammy looked up pitifully. "I'm sorry," she
said. "I think I've killed your plant."
Elaine appeared behind David, catching the
tail end of Tammy's statement. Looking down
at the once flourishing philodendron, Elaine
declared. "Actually, dear, that was your plant.
I gave it to you last year."
"Oh," Tammy let out a small breath. "I guess I
should clean it up then," she moved to get up.
"Why don't you let me," David said rushing to
her side, certain that the last thing she needed
was to be on her hands and knees trying to
clean up a bit of dirt. "It'll keep me from
having to peel carrots," he said to lighten the
mood.
Elaine snorted mildly.
Tammy looked between the both of them in
confusion. David, catching the look, pointed
accusingly in Elaine's direction, before going
back to the task of picking up the alarm clock,
several books and a large quantity of plant
debris. "Your mother, the slave driver, is
trying to teach me the fine art of cooking
exotic cuisine, strong emphasis on exotic.
Elaine laughed outright. "I was trying to teach
him not to cut himself," she told her daughter.
"Tammy you really need to let this one in the
kitchen more often."
Tammy just barely managed a weak smile.
"Well, it looks like you two are having a lot of
fun." Though the words were innocuous
enough, her tone was just a bit brittle.
David immediately sobered, but Elaine spoke
up first. "Of course we were, Honey. David
and I have become friends since the two of
you married. You used to join in."
David thought Elaine's words a bit harsh, but
didn't speak. Everything she had said was
true, and the sooner Tammy accepted that as a
part of her world, the better.
"Yeah," was all Tammy said before getting up
and heading toward the bathroom. She closed
the door firmly behind herself.
~*~
Dinner that night was a silent affair. Tammy
didn't seem to have any appetite. Even though
Elaine had made her favorite meal, she only
pushed it around on her plate. Eventually
Elaine and David gave up trying to make
conversation. When dinner was done David
promised to clean up the dishes since Elaine
had cooked. Elaine said that she needed to go
upstairs to pack.
Tammy stared down at her plate after her
mother left the room. David watched Tammy
for a full minute. Fighting to contain his
growing irritation, he pushed himself up from
his seat and headed for kitchen. Perhaps the
exertion of loading the dishwasher would
calm him.
"Would you like me to take that for you," he
asked Tammy, indicating her nearly full plate.
He bit back any further comment.
"I'll do it," she said, standing up stiffly. The air
that had surrounded her most of the evening
was suddenly gone. It seemed to have
dropped from her like a cloak, leaving only a
tired worn out figure of a woman behind.
" Are you sure you don't want me to do that?"
he asked, concerned. "Why don't you rest a bit
and let me take care of these." He reached out
to take the dishes from her. She let him take
them without argument.
"I think I'm going to go watch television," she
said instead. "Do you have cable?"
David frowned, but nodded. "Yes, we have
cable. I guess you have some catching up to
do. Just call if you need anything."
By the time David cleaned up the kitchen and
arrived back in the living room to check on
Tammy, she had fallen asleep in the recliner in
front of the television. Clicking off the
television, he carried her up to bed.
~*~
The next morning when David arose, Tammy
was downstairs making muffins with Elaine.
Obviously the two had made up as they were
joking about something that David never did
quite figure out. He wondered briefly, before
shaking the idea off, if they were talking about
him.
After breakfast, he found himself packing up
Elaine's car. It wasn't long before they were all
on the road, headed for Valuma County.
Tammy and David followed in their car, while
Elaine led the way. Unfortunately, Elaine and
David didn't have an opportunity to do much
planning.
David was surprised when Tammy
apologized almost immediately. "I'm sorry
about last night." He wondered just what
Elaine had said to her.
"That's no problem," he said. "Although, I
would like to know what happened. Where
you upset with Elaine?"
Tammy looked away uncomfortably and
shrugged. "I was just a little irritated," was all
she said. But David could tell that there was
more.
"Was it something I said?" he asked, hoping
she would go on. "I've never known you to be
that way toward your mother."
That seemed to have touched a nerve. "That's
just it," she said. "I'm in this almost completely
foreign place, and I'm supposed to think of it
as home. I feel like I'm visiting--half the time
afraid I'm going to break something and the
other half worried that I'm going to do
something wrong. The only thing that's even
remotely familiar to me is my mother and then
you and she carry on like old friends, carrying
on these conversations full of 'private jokes'.
Dammit David, I felt left out! I was jealous."
David drove silently for several stunned
moments. He wasn't sure what to say. "I'm
sorry," was what ended up coming out.
"We...I...I was trying to make you feel more
comfortable. You were so upset about the
plant..."
Tammy let out a sigh. "I know, and thank you.
It was me. I overreacted. I apologized to mom
this morning." She smiled wryly. "There is one
think I do know: You were upset with me last
night. Yeah, you were trying to hide it, but I
could tell."
"How could you tell?" he asked, delighted to
see her smiling in any fashion.
"It was practically oozing into the air," she
replied, a hint of her old humor appearing in
her eyes. "I'm surprised half the county didn't
know."
David winced, "That bad huh? I'm going to
have to work on hiding my emotions better."
His smile wilted slightly as he remember their
last conversation before her accident. He was
ashamed at how badly that meeting had gone.
That thought reminded him of the reality of
the situation. There was something he needed
to tell his wife, and soon.
"Uh...Tammy. Elaine doesn't live so far away
that we have to tail her home. Elaine and I
thought that perhaps we should help you find
some of the past that you are missing by
revisiting some of the places associated with
those events. We were planning to take you to
visit the cemetery..."
Chapter Eight
"The cemetery...?" Tammy was confused for a
second. When realization hit, she gasped at the
shock of it. "My father's buried there. Isn't he?"
She could only stare at the man who
continued to look directly ahead. His hands
gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his
knuckles shown white against his skin.
Her first inclination was to run, to get as far
away as she could. But she couldn't. This was
real. This was her life, and she had to face it.
Clenching her fists tightly in her lap, she
turned to look out the windshield, her face as
expressionless as David's had been.
"Can I get some flowers? He would like that."
Her words were spoken softly. Once she
began though, she couldn't seem to stop. "Did
you know that he liked to garden? Peonies
were his favorites. He used to plant them for
mom. Mom liked them a lot, too."
David relaxed his grip, and reached over to
place one of his hands over hers. "Of course
we can get some flowers," he told her.
Tammy simply nodded, no longer trusting her
voice. They rode in silence until they reached
Elaine's condo.
Elaine's condo was located in a newly
developed section of town and was decorated
with contemporary furnishings mingled with
a few familiar items from their family home.
The overall effect, though, was so completely
different that Tammy found herself wandering
through her mother's home, feeling a complete
stranger. All the good intentions she had tried
to develop during the drive were quickly
melting away.
Elaine kept a running dialogue, explaining
which items that Tammy herself had helped
her pick out. Tammy remembered none of it.
She wanted none of it. She wanted only to get
out and run until she found something that
she could recognize as her own. Eventually
after receiving only monosyllabic responses,
Elaine gave up. Tammy didn't miss the tense
look she shared with David.
When David then turned toward her, she
knew the words he was about to say. Her eyes
implored him not to say it. He opened his
mouth, and then closed it, seeming to fight
some internal battle. Before Tammy could
think what that meant, Elaine approached her
and took her hand.
"Come on, honey," she said. "It's time to go."
Tammy followed her mother out of the
apartment. She maintained her silence until
they got into the car.
"Mom, I just don't think I'm ready for this," she
pleaded, panic rising. "Maybe in a w-week or
two I c-could come back. I'm just not ready
right now."
Elaine responded calmly. "Honey, David and I
have discussed this already. We feel that it is
necessary for you if you are to get on with the
rest of your lives together."
"You?!" Tammy cried. "You discussed it? What
about me? What about what I want?"
"Tammy?" David spoke consolingly from the
driver's seat.
"This was probably your idea," Tammy spat at
him, panic, fear and anger mingling within
her. She wanted to hurt him like she was
hurting and she hated herself for it. "You don't
care about me," she accused. "You just want to
control me, make me into some person that
you prefer. Maybe I don't remember because it
was too horrible and I don't want to remember
it."
"Tammy!" Elaine rebuked her.
"You've already got her!" Tammy went on,
ignoring her mother. "Must you take
everything? I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"
David tightened his grip on the steering wheel
and ground out a question to Elaine, "How
much further?"
Elaine saw his agitation. "Only about a mile on
the right," she assured him, then turned back
to Tammy. She reached out and placed a
tentative hand on her leg. "It was my idea,
Honey. David only wants what is best for
you."
"Mom, you don't have to take up for him,"
Tammy said mournfully. Then, defeated, "It
doesn't matter. Nothing matters." Turning
away from them both, she leaned her head
against the side window and let its coolness
seep into her skin.
All too soon, David stopped the car.
Resolutely, Tammy picked up her flowers and
got out of the car. The cemetery was bordered
by a wooded area where the trees were
changing colors for the fall season. The lovely
oranges, browns, reds, yellows and greens
which painted the landscape seemed at odds
with the task she was set to perform.

David watched as Elaine led Tammy to the

correct spot. He didn't know what he would
have done had she fought them. He didn't
think he could physically force her, no matter
what Elaine or the doctors said. Remaining at
a discreet distance, he found himself
considering the things she had said in the car.
She had been angry. She didn't mean the
things that she had said. Tammy didn't hate
anyone. She was just lost and alone, and she
needed his help. He would be strong for her.
He would take care of her. Right now that
meant allowing her to be alone with her
mother, so he watched from a distance.
For hours the two women sat on the ground
near the site and talked. They talked and cried
and embraced. After a time, David wandered
back to the car and began to plan. There were
so many places he could take her. The plant,
for one. That was where they had first meet, so
it would be at the top of his list. And the
crossroads, definitely the crossroads. By the
time the girls arrived back to the car, David
had planned two weeks worth of activities
with the express purpose of helping his wife
regain her memory.
The mood in the car was understandably
subdued, but there had been a deepening of
the bond between the two women. David
glanced at Elaine in askance, and she smiled at
him.
During the drive home, David found himself
with only the radio and his own thoughts for
company. Tammy, in the back seat, had fallen
asleep even before he'd returned Elaine to her
condo. He had left her there, thinking that
after all that she had endured in the past few
days that she was bound to be exhausted.
When he pulled the car into the driveway at
their home, still she slept, but it appeared as if
she were dreaming. Her brow furrowed and
she made small whimpering sounds in the
back of her throat.
"Tammy," he called her name and gently
touched her shoulder. She jerked violently
awake, her eyes filled with fear.
"Tammy? What is it?"
"Nothing," she shook her head. "Bad dream."
David nodded. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No," was her too quick reply. "I've forgotten it
already."
"Okay," David said, deciding to drop it. "How
do you feel about dinner. Would you like to go
out and eat? I'm trying to save you from my
cooking as long as possible."
Tammy looked at him hesitantly. "David...I..."
David smiled at her, coaxing. "There's a really
great Italian restaurant that you might like," he
said. She didn't need to know that he had an
ulterior motive in taking her there, or that he
would be taking her to the restaurant where
he'd proposed. "It's called La Lira, and I hear
they have wonderful seafood linguini."
She took only a few moments to think about it.
"All right. Just let me get cleaned up first,
though. I feel really grungy."
~*~

Tammy thoroughly enjoyed the food and

service at La Lira, as well as David's company.
By the time desert arrived he had told her
more stories about herself than even Elaine
told. Though none of the events was familiar,
David's storytelling held the ring of truth. It
seemed that they must have had a happy
marriage. He spoke of the good times fondly,
making Tammy want to just give in and accept
him for all that he said he was. But she held
back. She just couldn't let go of the idea that
she couldn't know him if she didn't know
herself. There was one item, though, that she
felt she needed to take care of.
"I should apologize for those horrible things I
said to you in the car."
David simply nodded it away. "I understood
that it was a difficult situation for you. We all
say things we don't mean at some time or
other. Don't let it bother you."
"You've been very kind to me," Tammy said,
looking at her hands. "I shouldn't treat you the
way I have."
"No more worrying about that, remember?"
David insisted. "All I want is for you to get
your memory back."
Tammy frowned at that, wondering why that
statement frightened her.
"Don't you want to remember?" David asked.
"I do want to feel whole again," she said. "I
just... It's scary, that's all."
"I want you to be whole again, too, and I'll
help you in any way I can."
His assurances still left her uncertain. What if
the things that were frightening her where
things that he couldn't help her with? What if
somehow he were the cause of those things?
~*~
David allowed Tammy to enter their home
before him. "I'm am beyond ready for bed," he
said as soon as he closed to door. He took a
look at her pale features, and asked, "Care to
join me? You look like you could use to rest,
too."
Tammy didn't return his look, but simply
continued further into the house. "No, I'm not
really tired, yet. I think I'll watch television for
a bit."
"You're more than welcome to watch upstairs
in our bedroom," David offered. It would be
nice to have her close to him. "It won't bother
me at all. You always said I could sleep
through a tornado." He smiled at her, and then
headed up the stairs.
He was half-way through undressing when
Tammy entered their bedroom. Her eyes
drifted to his bare chest, and then she
immediately averted her eyes.
"Uh, where are my night things?" she asked.
"Not that you ever wore them much," he said
with a smile, "But they're in that drawer over
there." He pointed to one of the drawers built
into the bedside.
"Thank you," she said softly, moving
hesitantly toward the drawer in which he'd
directed.
David frowned. "Is something wrong?" She
was acting as if they hadn't just spent two very
enjoyable hours in one another's company.
Tammy wouldn't look at him.
"I think I'd rather watch television
downstairs," she said.
"Why he asked," taking a step toward her.
"Tell me what's wrong."
She jerked back, cringing between the bedside
and the wall. "Really... It's nothing," she
insisted, looking up at him finally. It was then
that realization hit for David.
He was a tall man, and Tammy was a small
woman. She probably felt cornered, and
judging from the way she avoiding looking at
his body, she probably felt uncomfortable that
he was dressed only in his briefs.
He sighed and backed up a few steps.
"Tammy, we've been married for six months.
I'm so used to undressing in front of you that I
didn't think anything of it." He said the words
gently, hoping to ease her fears. "We are not
strangers, you know."
"But we are strangers," Tammy assured him of
her opinion on the matter. "And because of
that, I think that I should sleep in the guest
room downstairs."
David blinked. "No." She had no reason to be
afraid of him. She had to learn that.
"No?" she asked, incredulously. At least the
fear was leaving her eyes, being quickly
replaced by anger.
"No," David repeated. "You are my wife, and
here is where my wife sleeps. Beside me. You
may not remember that, but I do."
"I have the right to sleep where I want to,"
Tammy told him in no uncertain terms. "And
you can't stop me."
David's jaw stiffened, "I said no, Tammy. You
are my wife, and you will sleep here." He took
a few steps closer, this time intentionally
intimidating her with his size.
Tammy held her ground. "No, David. I'm a
person first, and you can't change that.
Besides, I think you've made enough painful
decisions for me this day."
David drew in a pained breath. "Tammy, I
only want what's best for you because I love
you and you love me. That's all that matters.
That's why you have to stay here. It will help
us get our lives back on track."
"Our lives?" Tammy shot back at him. "It's my
life that's messed up! I'm not the wife who you
remember anymore. I am Tam Veneze. I don't
love you, I don't even know you!"
David closed his eyes, backed away. "You
win," he said. "Sleep where you want."
Without another word he climbed into the bed
and buried himself beneath the covers.
Chapter Nine
A hollow sensation settled in the pit of
Tammy's stomach as her gaze settled on the
form that was David. Already she was
regretting her harsh words, but she couldn't
take them back. Sure, she felt an attraction for
him, and there was obviously some chemistry
there. But she didn't love him. How could she
when she didn't even remember him?
During her perusal, David never turned or
spoke. But as she moved toward the door and
flipped out the light, she heard him utter a
tired 'good night'. She responded in kind and
continued on her way.
The guest room seemed far too formal, and
before long she found herself downstairs on
the sofa watching television. She fell asleep
halfway through a romantic comedy that had
once been a favorite. When she awoke, the air
had the feeling of early morning. The
television was playing an infomercial.
Shifting her aching muscles, she dug out the
remote control. Then with a flick of a switch,
she shut off the irritatingly hyper voice of a
gentlemen who seemed determined to sell a
do-it-all household cleaner. Blessed silence fell
over the room.
After several minutes of groaning through the
pain of muscles that were beginning to
complain in earnest, Tammy decided that
perhaps sleeping on the sofa hadn't been such
a good plan.
Gathering her blankets and pillow, she headed
up the stairs. A small sound stopped her just
as she reached the top. That was when she
noticed that a door along the upstairs hallway
was partially open. She'd glanced into it the
morning before, while David was still
sleeping. A large desk, a computer and several
filing cabinets had occupied the room. She'd
figured it for David's home office.
As she crept closer, she began to hear someone
speaking softly. "I just don't know what to do,"
the voice was a soft rumble that she quickly
identified as David. Wondering who he might
be talking to at such an hour was the first
question that popped into her mind. The
second was whether he could see her from
where she was standing. Morbid curiosity
kept her rooted to the spot, waiting to hear the
rest of the conversation.
"All right." David replied in response to some
unheard statement. And then, "Okay. Okay.
Thank you. Good-bye."
Tammy moved quickly into action, coming the
rest of the way up the stairs. David stepped
out of the room just as she reached the top. He
eyed her almost guiltily for several seconds.
Uh, Tammy. I didn't know you were down
there. Good morning."
"Good morning," Tammy replied, watching
him carefully. She couldn't explain it, but an
uncomfortable feeling settled over her heart
and she had to know who he had been talking
to. "Who was that?" she found herself asking.
"Oh, that was someone from work," David
said. "I'm going to have to go in for a couple of
hours today to catch up on a few things."
"Okay," Tammy nodded, wondering why she
was beginning to feel oddly bereft.
"Will you be okay while I'm gone?" David
added, obviously catching a hint of her
reticence. He ran a hand through already
mused hair. "Uh, If you don't mind being a
little bored you can come with."
"Oh, no," Tammy shook her head, "I'll be fine.
Don't worry about me. Maybe I'll do some
exploring around here. I still want to try to get
into my old computer."
"Okay," David smiled, a small uncomfortable
raising of the corners of his mouth. "Good. I'll
just get dressed, then." He turned and headed
for the bedroom, then after a few steps, turned
back toward her.
"Breakfast. What do you want? Are you
hungry?"
"Why don't I fix something," Tammy asked. "I
do remember how to cook," she joked weakly.
David seemed eager for the opportunity at
lessening the tension that seemed to have
blossomed between them. "Thank goodness.
Remembering would not help my cooking."
Tammy obliged him with a smile. His eyes
lingered on her for several moments, and then
he turned and went back into the bedroom.
~*~
David didn't know if he could keep up with
the emotional rollercoaster ride he was
experiencing with Tammy. The day before she
alternately confided in and hated him. And
then, after dinner, when he'd been convinced
that things were on the right track wham, out
of the blue, she'd blown up at him. She had
actually told him that she didn't love him.
That still hurt, but he had decided to give her
the space she'd so vocally demanded.
Then there was their encounter in the hallway.
She had appeared almost possessive when
she'd asked about the phone call. And then
she'd joked with him. Perhaps it just wasn't
meant for him to understand where he stood
with her. Or maybe he was just a glutton for
punishment. Either way, he wasn't going to
give up on her. As soon as he returned home,
he fully intended to get started on his plan to
get his wife back.
~*~
Tammy had baked muffins, scrambled eggs
and started coffee by the time David appeared
in the kitchen. It had amazed her that she
knew exactly where everything was in the
small space. She had even known intuitively
what was in the cupboards. He was dressed in
dark slacks, a white shirt and a perfectly
matching tie.
David, hair combed neatly away from his face,
was dressed in dark slacks, pale shirt and a
perfectly matching tie. He closed his eyes and
breathed deeply. "You always were a
wonderful cook," he said, tearing into one of
the muffins with one hand, and grasping a
mug full of coffee in the other.
"Thank you," Tammy said, continuing to
observe him surreptitiously as he downed first
one muffin, then another and then made a
significant dent in a third, before glancing at
his watch declaring that he had to go. She
faced him then and smiled, about to tease him
about the vigor with which he had eaten.
He walked quickly toward her, threw an arm
around her shoulder and was about to kiss her
when he stopped himself. His face was mere
inches away from hers, so close that she could
smell the soap he'd used during his shower.
His eyes clouded slightly, as he fought some
internal battle. Tammy's senses seemed to be
in overload. They caught every detail of his
face, the heat of his arm across her shoulders
and along the side of her body, the way his
brow furrowed in confusion. And then,
suddenly, he shut down, his face becoming an
expressionless mask.
"I'm sorry," he murmured, backing away. "I
guess I'm too used to doing that." Offering an
anemic smile, he formally thanked her for
breakfast and walked out the door.
Tammy let out the breath that she suddenly
realized that she had been holding, and
collapsed weakly against the counter. She
wondered what she would have done had he
carried through on his desires. Judging by the
frantic pounding of her heart, the answer to
the question would undoubtedly have been
nothing to stop him.
Throughout the morning as she washed the
dishes and straightened the bedrooms, she
couldn't get the image of David's face, so close
to hers, out of her mind. She found herself
reliving the moment time and again. What
would it feel like to have his lips cover hers,
taste of him? She wanted to know the answer
to that question.
While straightening the den, she found a tape
in the VCR. Frowning at the plan plastic cover,
she pushed the eject button on the VCR to find
out whether or not there was a label on the
tape that might give her a clue as to what it
contained.
The mechanism obediently rotated out,
exposing a beige matte tape. In calligraphic
writing were the words: David & Tamellyn -
Wedding Video.
For a full minute she stared at the thing, half
afraid to do anything else. Had David been
watching their wedding tape? Moving slowly,
almost as if she were being controlled by some
outside force, she pushed the tape back into
the VCR and turned on the television.
The image that burst across the screen was
obviously the reception. It looked as if it had
been a fun time. As weddings went, it didn't
seem to be an overly large gathering, but what
it lacked in size, it seemed to make up for in
activities.
A limbo line was in full swing, and she and
David were taking part despite the fact that
they were both wearing formal attire.
Somehow she managed to make it beneath the
bar wearing a traditional wedding gown.
After both she and David made it through,
they had fallen into one another's arms
laughing. The crowd had applauded loudly
and then David had swung her up into his
arms and kissed her thoroughly.
She sat agape through the festivities, and then
rewound the tape and watched from the
beginning. It began with an intimate moment
with David in which he declared his undying
love for the girl who would be coming down
the isle in the puffy white dress. There were
lots of laughs and poignant moments.
She watched as she herself shared a moment
with her mother. The film was shot from
across the room in the back of the church
before the ceremony began. Whatever they
were saying, it was an emotional moment as
Elaine was dabbing tears away from her
daughter's eyes. Elaine then turned toward the
camera operator and waved that he should
stop filming. The image went blank and
appeared again as the ceremony began.
When the tape ended, Tammy buried her face
in her hands. From the first few moments after
she had discovered that she had lost two years
of her life, Tammy had felt hounded by the
time. She didn't want it back, she wasn't even
sure she wanted to remember. She just wanted
to go back to the way things were when her
father was alive. But now, after watching the
tape and seeing physical evidence of at least
one happy day in the past two years, she truly
felt regret that she could not remember. She
wanted to be the happy woman on tape, so
obviously in love.
She was pulled out of her reverie by the
ringing of the phone.
~*~
David slowly hung up the phone and sighed
heavily. He had been working frantically with
Katy to prepare the Koshiama proposal. The
time had passed so quickly that it had been
near lunch before he realized what time it was.
Katy had decided to order in lunch so that the
group could finish. While she ordered, David
called Tammy.
When she answered, she had sounded as if
something was wrong. Guilt washed over
him; he should have been more careful that
morning. He certainly shouldn't have left like
that. Maybe he shouldn't have left at all.
Unable to get any where on the phone, he had
simply told her that he would be home in a
couple more hours and hung up.
A light tap on the door caught his attention.
"Everything all right?" Katy stuck her head
around the door.
"Yeah," he smiled wryly. "It'll straighten itself
out...I hope."
"Do you know what you need?" she asked,
stepping more fully into the room. Once
inside, she came and leaned against the side of
his desk.
"What's that?" David asked, making an effort
not to chuckle. Katy had an air about her that
suggested that she was up to something.
"Lots and lots of hard work to help you relieve
some of that stress."
"Oh, right," David laughed, obviously
disagreeing with her.
"Okay, I'll admit that advice has a touch of
reverse psychology in it. But you do seem to
have a lot of stress, David. Anything I can do
to help?"
David studied Katy for several seconds. "Can
you make my wife remember me?"
Katy shrugged helplessly. "Sorry, David. I
don't think I can do that. But, I can make you
forget your problems--just for a few
moments," she added when he frowned.
"Katy, I don't..." David sat up straighter. He
didn't like the way this conversation was
going.
"David Brinkman!" Tammy shot him an
admonishing look. "That is not what I'm
talking about. You know me better than that!
What's the matter with you?"
"Uh, I'm sorry," David felt himself flush. He
hadn't blushed in years. "I didn't mean... I'm
sorry, Katy. I guess you're right. I am
stressed."
"You must be," she told him, a note of
disapproval still evident in her voice.
Standing, she moved to stand behind him.
David jerked when her hands came to rest on
his shoulders.
"Katy," he warned.
"Relax," she told him, soothing his shoulders.
"I used to do this for my brothers all the time."
Her hands dug into his muscles, firmly
kneading all the places that ached.
He groaned slightly, unable to push away the
guilt feelings that rose within him. "That feels
wonderful, Katy. And I do appreciate this, but
I'm feeling--"
"I understand," Katy stepped away, placing
her hands behind her back. "I'm sorry if I've
stepped over an invisible barrier. I just wanted
to help."
"It's okay, Katy," David said. "It's not you. It's
me. I'm just..."
"Tense," she filled in. "I know." She smiled
then. "Don't forget David. If you need to talk
some more, just call me. Anytime. And if you
need for me to talk to Tammy, I can do that,
too."
David didn't even need to consider her
suggestion. He knew instinctively that it
would not go over well. "No, that won't be
necessary," he said.
"Okay," Katy smiled at him. "Want to go see if
our lunch is ready?"

Chapter Ten
Tammy typed another parameter into her
computer. "Incorrect Password" appeared on
the screen yet again. Sighing, she tried
another. It didn't work. She was preparing to
again when the phone rang.
Thinking that it might be David again, she
rushed upstairs to answer it.
"Is this Tamellyn Brinkman?" a voice asked.
"Uh, yes," Tammy responded. Lack of memory
did not change the name on her driver's
license.
"Good," the young man identified himself as
an insurance adjuster. "Can I ask you to
describe the accident that occurred on..."
An inexplicable fear shot through Tammy's
heart. "Uh, I can't help you with that," she told
the man. He politely asked her why not.
Tammy felt herself growing agitated. "I just
can't help you," she insisted. "I d-don't
remember anything... about the accident."
"Mrs. Brinkman. Were you driving a blue
Pontiac licensed to you and your husband on
the afternoon of..."
"I can't help you," Tammy repeated, shaking
her head.
"Are you suggesting that you were not behind
the wheel Mrs. Brinkman?"
"I said I can't help you! I-I've got to go." She
hung up the phone and moved away from it
as if it were the enemy. And indeed it was. As
she stared at it, a rapid rush of images flashed
through her mind painful in their intensity.
She pressed her fingers to her temples,
attempting to stem the tide. The flashes rushed
on, making her dizzy. And then, just as
suddenly they stopped.
She collapsed against the wall and slid to the
floor.
~*~
David entered his home to find it silent.
Dropping his keys on a table in the entry hall,
he continued on into the house. The kitchen
was dark, so he stepped toward the stairs and
looked up. All the lights were off upstairs, so
he continued on toward the door that led to
the basement. It was open, but a sound from
the den caught his attention.
"Tammy?" he called her name softly.
Continuing further into the room, he found
her huddled in a corner. "Tammy?" he
whispered, reaching for her.
She jerked away from him, her eyes glazed.
"Tammy?" he tried again. Moving slowly as if
he were afraid of spooking a frightened
animal, he stooped to the floor and edged
closer. "What happened, honey?" he asked. He
had never seen her like this before. It terrified
him.
"Tammy, honey. It's David," he told her,
edging ever closer.
At the sound of his name she blinked and her
eyes cleared. Moments later she launched
herself into his arms. Heartbreaking sobs
wracked her body as he held her tightly
against him.
"Shhh," he murmured into her hair. "It's okay,
honey. It's okay." He held her until she cried
herself out. Exhaustion must have taken over
then, because her head drooped against him,
and with a shuddering sigh, she fell asleep.
David hauled himself into a standing position,
keeping Tammy cradled in his arms. He
carried her to the guest bedroom and removed
her shoes and slacks. Although he was sure
she wouldn't appreciate the later, she would
be more comfortable. He then drew the covers
up over her.
~*~
"Dr. Gaylin, please." David spoke in an urgent
whisper. He used his office phone because he
didn't want to be too far away from Tammy in
case she should wake up. The receptionist was
not so easy to get by, however.
"No, I'm not a patient. But I've discussed my
wife with him. Please, I need to speak with
him. It's urgent."
David sighed in frustration as the receptionist
carefully explained that Dr. Gaylin was a very
busy man, and that he would have to make an
appointment for another consultation.
"Just tell him it's David Brinkman. It concerns
Tamellyn Brinkman. She went into some kind
of a ... a state. Just tell him that. Please."
She seemed to be considering his request, and
then Dr. Gaylin's voice came on the line.
David quickly explained what he had found
when he returned home. Dr. Gaylin's tone
sharpened as he shot rapid-fire questions at
David. When the old doctor paused
thoughtfully, David took the opportunity to
ask a question of his own.
"What do you think? Is she going to be okay?"
"Patience Mr. Brinkman," Gaylin told him. "As
frightening at the incident may have been for
her, it may herald progress. It is possible that
she has remembered something that caused
her a shock. My recommendation is that you
allow her to rest, and when she awakens,
simply ask her what happened. That is the
only way to know for sure."
David closed his eyes and shook his head. He
could have figured that out for himself.
"Thank you, very much, Dr. Gaylin," he said,
hoping that his tone wasn't too dry. "I'll do
that."
"See that you do," Gaylin replied, knowingly.
"I should like to see her in seven days. My
receptionist, Nancy, will make an
appointment for you. Hold on."
David obediently did as Gaylin suggested,
though he was having doubts concerning
whether the old doctor knew what he was
talking about. Arguing would do nothing to
help Tammy, and he had been gone from her
for too long already.
When he returned to the guest room, though,
she was still sleeping. Settling on the floor
beside the bed, his back pressed against the
wall, he watched her sleep. Heavy shadows
were beneath her eyes, and her mass of hair
was in complete disarray but she was
beautiful to him. Exquisitely beautiful. And he
wanted her back.
"Oh, Tammy," he murmured softly. "Come
back to me. I miss you."
~*~
Tammy opened her eyes and found herself
staring at a white wall. She blinked,
momentarily uncertain of where she was.
Memory began to return...she remembered
being in the den and... and... what? She rolled
over unto her back, simultaneously
recognizing the guest room and a dark form in
her peripheral vision. It was David.
He sat on the floor, half slumped in a corner,
fast asleep. He must have kicked off his shoes
at some point, as they lay nearer the door than
his feet. And his shirt, wrinkled was an
understatement. She hated to think how stiff
he was going to be if he had spent the night
there on the floor.
"David," she whispered his name. When he
only grunted, she pulled back the covers and
climbed out of bed. "David," she called again
more loudly.
His head jerked, and he opened his eyes and
looked directly at her. "Tammy?" he
whispered and fought a yawn. "Are you
okay?"
Tammy had to smile at that. "You're the one
who slept on the floor. Maybe I should be
asking you that question."
David returned her smile ruefully as he
pushed himself stiffly into a more comfortable
position. "Yeah. Oh! I must be getting old."
Tammy giggled at him. "This is all rather
amusing, and before I begin to make this more
of a habit, do you mind telling me what
happened? The last thing I remember was
being in the den."
David's smile faded away. "You mean you
don't remember?"
Tammy looked at him oddly. "Remember,
what?"
David scrubbed his hands over his face before
looking at her again. He moved as if to take
her hands, but stopped himself. "Tammy," he
began, his eyes intent. "When I came home
yesterday, something had happened. I found
you in the den. You were...you were very
upset."
Tammy felt something like a tickle in the back
of her mind, and then suddenly she
remembered. The phone call. She gasped at
the memory, backing away from him.
"What is it?" David caught her arm. "Tell me
what happened. What's wrong?"
Tammy shook her head, battling confusion
and an uprising of fear. "I don't know," she
told him. "I don't know."
"Did you remember something?"
"I don't... yes, but I don't know what it means.
I..It happened after the insurance company
called and--"
"The insurance company?"
"They wanted to know about the accident,"
Tammy told him.
"They shouldn't have called you," David said.
"I told them--"
"Why shouldn't they have called me?" Tammy
asked, preferring any other emotion to fear,
even if it was anger. "You don't have to protect
me."
"Yes I do have to protect you," David replied,
his voice softening. "And I'm so sorry that this
happened to you. I shouldn't have left you
here."
Tammy opened her mouth to continue the
conversation, to push him into an argument,
but found she didn't have the heart for it. He
looked so tired, and he had slept on the floor
beside her bed, not to mention the way he had
held her the day before. She couldn't push
him. Instead, she reached a hand to touch his.
"It wasn't your fault."
David's hand convulsively grasped hers back.
An expression that warmed Tammy to the tips
of her toes crossed his face. She smiled gently
at him, and helped him move stiffly to his feet.
Chapter Eleven

For most of the morning, David and Tammy

puttered around the house. It wasn't until
early afternoon that they got out into the yard.
"I would like to introduce you to your
garden." David waved an arm broadly over a
patch of dirt and overgrown weeds.
"Garden?" Tammy snickered. "Yeah, this
indeed looks like something I tried to grow."
"Actually, it started out pretty good," David
commented. "But, well," he scratched the side
of his head, searching for a nice to way to
break the news of her un-green thumbs to her.
"Let's just say the plants weren't ready to do
much growing."
"No need to spare my feelings," Tammy
assured him. "This is not a new thing. You
should have seen the pathetic attempts I made
when I was younger. Daddy seemed to always
be able to salvage them, though."
David considered the patch. He'd never
thought much about digging in the dirt. This
had always been Tammy's project. "Not that I
know a thing about gardening. But perhaps
two not-green thumbs can make a right.
Maybe we should work it together."
Tammy looked up at him, mildly surprised.
"Really?"
"Sure," David told her, meeting her gaze. "You
used to tell me it was therapeutic."
"Well... okay," Tammy seemed buoyed by the
idea. "Where do I kept my tools?"
"In the utility house." David started toward
the squat little building that sat to one side of
the yard. "Why don't I get them?"
"I'll come with you," Tammy followed him. "It
might help me remember something."
David froze momentarily. That was the first
time she'd actually admitted to wanting to
remember her life with him. A warm glow
settled over him as he waited for her to catch
up. They continued along to the utility house
together.
Hours later, they stumbled back into the
house, laughing sillily. David scrubbed his
fingers through his hair trying to shake out
some of the dirt. "Did you have to aim at my
head?" he demanded laughingly.
"It's the biggest part of you," Tammy giggled
uncontrollably, flicking another finger full of
dirt at him.
"You're really asking for it," David warned
her, coming toward her in a menacing
manner.
Squealing, Tammy turned to move quickly
away from him. David gave chase. "You can
run but you can't hide," he said, tearing
around the opposite side of the chair when she
changed direction.
Tammy managed to get around the chair
before he could catch her, but she was
laughing so hard that she didn't get much
farther. "Wait," she cried between grasps when
David was within grabbing distance. "Wait."
David paused, watching her laugh. "Three.
Two..." he began to count down, wiggling his
fingers at her for good measure. "One," he
announced, just as she turned to run again,
squealing all the way.
David lunged at her, catching her about the
shoulders. Tammy struggled weakly in his
grasp, trying to slip away. Then suddenly her
fingers were on him, and she was tickling him.
Surprised, David's grasp immediately
weakened and she slipped away.
Tammy obviously thought that was hysterical,
because she doubled over in laughter before
turning to run again. She fled in the direction
of the steps. As she grabbed the handrail, she
threw a look over her shoulder at David.
"Tammy, wait--" Her angle was all wrong. He
could tell before she lifted her foot that she
would miss the step. His warning came too
late. She cried out as she fell, landing hard on
the parquet flooring at the bottom of the stairs.
David thought his heart would stop when she
didn't move. "Tammy! Tammy, honey," he
called from above her, worried even to roll her
over. She'd landed on her side, her body faced
away from him.
Groaning slightly, she rolled over so that she
was looking up at him. "That wasn't such a
good idea," she said, smiling weakly up at
him.
David sighed in relief, brushing a hand over
her hair. "Are you okay?"
"Define okay," she breathed, attempting to
push herself into a sitting position.
"Well, at least you can move," he said. "That's
something at least. Can you stand?" He
hovered over her, assisting her until she was
standing.
"Okay, standing is good," Tammy said softly.
"Except for the pain. Oww." She wrapped an
arm around her waist and settled back down
on the step.
"Tammy?" David stooped beside her, gently
grasping her arms. "Where does it hurt?"
"Same pain," she breathed. "Only more."
"Huh?"
"I've been a little sore since the hospital, but
it's worse now. I think maybe I just re-injured
something."
"We should get you back to the hospital,"
David insisted, trying to help her to her feet.
"No," Tammy objected. "It was a lot like this
that first day. I'm fine. I just need to be still for
a bit, that's all."
"You're sure?"
"Yeah," Tammy assured him.
~*~
Twenty minutes later, David was helping
Tammy into bed. Having given her a dose of
the pain medication that Dr. Loyds had
prescribed, he was attempting to clean the
garden dirt from her fingers.
"You should be happy you're not the one with
dirt in her hair," David said, a teasing smile
hovered about his lips. It had taken
considerable reassurance to convince him that
she would be okay.
"Oh, I am," she replied, hoping that the
painkillers would kick in soon. David's
ministrations were doing a number on her
nerves. If he would just rub a little more
firmly, the entire exercise wouldn't have such
a seductive feel to it. Instead, he continued to
gently rhythmically wipe between each of her
fingers.
Watching her from the corner of his eye, he
smiled before focusing again on her hand.
Tammy began to suspect that he knew exactly
what he was doing, and she was gearing up to
tell him so when he turned her hand over and
began to gently caress the center of her palm.
She gasped, quickly pulling her hand away
from him. "I think...t-that's clean enough.
Thank you."
David shrugged, giving in without the
slightest fight. "You're welcome," he told her,
his expression showing no sign of mischief.
She frowned, wondering if she'd simply
imagined that he was trying to subtly seduce
her.
David reached toward the dresser, and placed
a tray containing a sandwich and tea before
her. "Sandwich and tea, milady," he told her.
"And you'd better eat up. Previous experience
with that painkiller suggests that you have
about five minutes before you're outta here."
Tammy was beginning to feel the familiar
heaviness that she'd come to associate with the
pills. "Five minutes, huh?" She asked drowsily,
reaching for half of the sandwich. Picking it
up, she handed it to David.
He took it curiously. "Making sure that if it
kills you it kills me, too?"
Tammy smiled with an effort. "Something like
that. Tea?"
"Don't mind if I do." David took a sip of her
drink and bit into his half of the sandwich.
Tammy remembered taking a couple bites of
her half and one sip of the tea. Everything else
faded into darkness as she drifted off to sleep.
Chapter Twelve

David was struggling with a pan of frying

eggs when the phone rang. "Hello?" he
grabbed up the receiver and held it to his ear
with a shoulder as he ran back to the stove to
stir the eggs. Judging from the way they were
browning around the edges, and all the
smoke, he was doing something wrong.
"Sounds like you're a little busy?" he heard
Katy's voice on the other end of the line.
"Just a little," he told her, turning off the heat
and going in search of a plate. Finally finding
one, he turned on the exhaust fan and made
ready to put the eggs on the plate.
Unfortunately, he forgot to use a towel to pick
up the pan.
"Dammit!" he yelled, dropping the pan back
on the stove. The phone hit the floor.
Scrambling for it, he placed it to his ear. "Katy,
I'm sorry. I gotta go. I'll call you later." With
that he clicked off the phone and ran for the
frying pan. This time he wrapped the handle
in a towel before attempting to pick it up.
Once the eggs were safely on the plate, he
examined them more closely. They were a bit
dry, and decidedly browner than was
appetizing. He turned and headed toward the
trash with the plate. Unfortunately, those had
been the last of the eggs.
"Don't throw those away," Tammy appeared
at the kitchen door.
"You sure?" David asked, glancing up to greet
her. "I already owe you a t-shirt that says 'I
survived David's cooking'. Although, the jury
is still out as to whether or not it or the
painkillers knocked you out yesterday."
Tammy laughed at him. "I think I can handle
it. After six months, perhaps I've built up an
immunity."
David laughed. "Maybe." Turning he
presented the rest of his breakfast offering.
"The toast is cold, the juice is probably warm,
we won't discuss the eggs. Still game?"
"I'm easy," Tammy told him.
David shot her a look, but said nothing.
"Your office phone rang a few minutes ago,"
Tammy spoke up as she came to help him
with the plates. "I didn't know if you wanted
me to answer it."
David frowned. "No," he told her. "There's
probably a message. I'll check it later." Then
changing the subject. "How's your side?"
"A little tender," Tammy said, "But much
better. Just no more wrestling."
"Scouts honor," David told her.
~*~
"Do you have the list?"
"I thought you had the list."
"No, I gave it to you."
"You did?"
"Of course, I did. Remember? In the kitchen,
when you couldn't find the--"
"Oh, right," David smiled sheepishly and
pulled the list from his shirt pocket. "See, what
would I do without you?"
"Run out of eggs," Tammy informed him.
"And often."
"Mmm," David agreed, leaning over to start
the car. Pausing, he said, "You want to drive?"
"What? You can't find the ignition?" Tammy
teased him.
"No," David assured her with a laugh. "That
call in my office was from the garage. They say
that your car will be ready tomorrow. I
thought maybe you'd like to get used to the
city before we went to pick it up."
Tammy glanced away from him, wondering at
the panicky feeling that settled in the pit of her
stomach. "Ah...no, that's okay.
I'm...comfortable with you driving." Avoiding
the curious glance he gave her, she turned to
stare out of the window.
"You don't sound too sure of that," he
commented.
"Well… if your cooking is any indication…"
"Ha. Ha." David said dryly.
Tammy smiled, pushing her unease aside. She
had been enjoying David's company and
didn't want to ruin it by allowing her fears to
resurface. Settling back into the seat, she asked
which grocery store they were headed for.
David assured her that it was far more than a
grocery store. "This place put the super in
supermarket."
Tammy could tell by his sarcasm that this was
not a plus. "So it's big, huh? One stop
shopping."
"If, and that's a big if, you can find any thing. I
swear you need a map to find anything in that
place."
"Do you always whine this much?" Tammy
asked. "Cause if you do, I may have any idea
why I put this all out of my mind." David
laughed with her, and she could tell he was
relieved that they could now joke about the
situation. She was glad too.
If she and he could remain friends, such as
they had been the past few days, she could be
happy. She hadn’t missed, however, the
longing looks he’d shot in her direction when
she went to the guestroom, and he went to the
master bedroom alone. Truth be told, she was
beginning to feel a few of those longings
herself. But technically, she was still getting to
know him and she really needed to give it
more time. Otherwise, she was sure she would
be cheating both of them.
True to David’s word, the store was immense.
Tammy couldn’t imagine how this ever could
have been a favorite place of hers. It took ten
minutes to even find the eggs. After they’d
made their grocery selections, David had
disappeared into the computer department.
Tammy wandered around the area, and into a
neighboring department. Rows of books on
audio greeted her. She continued along the isle
until she reached the paper books. Several
titles caught her eye, and she wondered if she
might have read them in the past two years.
As she passed a section of mysteries, she
continued on, telling herself it would be just
awful if she began reading the thing then
suddenly got her memory back just before she
finished it only to discover she’d read it
already.
Laughing to herself at the ridiculousness of
the idea, she paused before another section. A
large white and blue caught her eye. "The Joy
of Parenthood" was plastered across the cover
in pink letters. Her smile faded away and she
found herself staring transfixed at the book.
She blinked slightly when a voice sounded
behind her.
"Wha...David?" she turned startled eyes on her
husband. Confusion blanketed her mind, and
she was finding it difficult to put two words
together.
"Are you all right?" David was beginning to
worry in earnest. His brow furrowed, and he
placed the package he’d been carrying on the
floor and placed an arm around her
protectively.
"Uh...yeah," Tammy said and shuddered.
Whatever was bothering her was hard to
shake, and it had something to do with books
or that one book in particular. She wasn’t sure,
she only knew that she wanted to get away.
David’s frown deepened, and he looked
toward the book to which her eyes continued
to stray. Some emotion crossed his face that
Tammy found difficult to understand in her
present state. It didn’t help.
"David?"
He looked at her for several moments, and
then directed her out of the department. "I
think we should go home," he said.
"Okay," Tammy nodded.
~*~

David helped Tammy out of the store and to

the car. He’d seen the book she was staring at
and it scared him. Was she remembering that
she had been pregnant? Was that why the
book had caused her to act so strangely?
Perhaps it was time for him to tell her the
truth about what else had happened to her
during the accident. But how?
As he drove home, contemplating that very
thing, Tammy’s mood seemed to lighten. She
teased him about his silence, and he
responded with a weak smile. They arrived at
their home far too quickly.
Upon entering, the phone was ringing. He
quickly unlocked the door and answered it.
"Hello?" He glanced toward Tammy as she put
away their packages. She smiled back at him,
and began to start dinner. He returned her
smile. His smile faltered at the greeting Katy
gave him over the line.
"Oh, right," he said into the receiver, quickly
turning away from Tammy in an attempt to
mask his embarrassment. Katy was really
beginning to call him at home a little more
than was proper. He would have to say
something to her about it. But not in front of
Tammy. "Listen...uh, I think I have that in my
office. Why don’t I call you back when I get
upstairs."
"Work," he told Tammy, backing out of the
kitchen. "I’ll be back in a minute." Tammy
waved at him without looking up. He paused.
Something else was wrong aside from what
had happened at the store. Could she have...?
"Tammy?" he started back into the kitchen.
"Go on and make your call," she told him,
smiling.

~*~
Tammy turned as David disappeared out of
the kitchen. She wondered at the way he’d
reacted when he’d answered the phone.
Telling herself she was imagining things, she
pushed her worries aside and got on with the
matter of cooking.
Nearly thirty minutes passed before David
returned downstairs and despite both their
attempts to make conversation, it was as if a
damper had been put on the evening.
When they’d finished eating and cleaned up,
David had pulled out the photo albums. In the
time that they had known one another, they
had taken quite a few pictures and seemed to
have many friends. Tammy recognized some
of the names from cards that she had received.
Bedtime arrived, and Tammy was more
exhausted than usual. She smiled a polite
goodnight to David and disappeared into the
guestroom. David waved good night, and
Tammy noticed that his longing look was not
present. She frowned, feeling oddly bereft
without it.
~*~
David put away the photo albums and sighed.
It had been a difficult evening. He hadn’t been
able to work up the nerve to tell Tammy about
the baby, she had seemed so tired. Besides
that, he suspected that she was afraid to drive.
He just couldn’t add to that. He'd arranged
with the garage to have the car delivered. And
then tomorrow, when Tammy was more
rested, he would tell her.
To make matters worse, Katy also had been
difficult. Tomorrow morning he would go in
and sign off on her training and then she
would be free to act on her own. There was
nothing else he could do but go to bed.
Tomorrow was going to be a busy day.

Chapter Thirteen

Tammy found herself in a white room in which the

walls were made of tightly corded bed sheets. On
one side of the room was a white door with a glass
window. A baby cried faintly in the background.
She spun in the room, trying to find the source of
the crying, but there was no use. She ran toward
the door and flung it open. On the other side was
another white room, but the sheets were no longer
tightly corded; they billowed as if in a gentle
breeze.
Across the room stood a man with his back to her.
He seemed very familiar. He turned. It was her
father, Albert Veneze. He laughed a woman’s
laugh, and spoke with a woman’s voice before
turning and walking toward the sheets. Suddenly
moonlight shone in the room. Tammy looked
upward and could see a full moon in a cloudless
sky. When she looked down again, her father was
disappearing through the sheets/walls. She ran
after him and a door appeared. It opened on a busy
street, and a baby was again crying only much
louder. The cars were coming closer, horns blaring
and people yelling to her father to get out of the
way. Before Tammy could go to him, the door
slammed hard in her face. She tried to re-open it,
but it was blocked by a white chain and she could
only open it a crack. The harder she pushed the
more difficult the task of opening seemed to be.
Eventually the door sealed itself. But the sounds of
the cars did not go away. The baby’s screams
became louder, nearly unbearable.
Tammy banged on the door, screaming for her
father to move out of the way. But he did not hear
her. The cars moved closer, and she could see the
headlights bearing down on them both. They
vehicles were unrelenting, they tore through the
sheets despite her screams for them to stop.
As the cars neared her, her father, in the midst of
the traffic turned as if he’d finally heard her. The
vehicles rushed around him. He looked at her, and
Tammy noticed for the first time that he was
holding a baby in his arms. She wore a pink bow in
her hair and was smiling at Tammy.
Tammy was forced to watch, horrified, as a giant
big rig appeared on the horizon. It was headed
directly for her father and the baby. Tammy
screamed...

Tammy woke up screaming. Disoriented, and

half tangled in the sheets, all she could hear
was the pounding of her heart.
Moments later, the door slammed open and a
dark figure stood silhouetted in the doorway.
Tammy screamed again, and instinctively
grabbed at the nearest object and began
swinging.
The figure was running straight for her and
could do nothing to avoid the alarm clock she
wielded. The clock hit its marks, landing
square against the man’s skull and Tammy
dashed past him, out the door. Momentum
carried the man crashing into the dresser
before he tumbled to the floor between the bed
and the dresser. By then, Tammy had reached
the hallway.
As she focused on her surroundings, sanity
returned. Horrified, she ran back into the
room and found the light switch. There lay
David Brinkman, clad only in his underwear,
out cold.
She ran to his side and hesitantly touched him.
He appeared to be breathing, but he was going
to have one heck of a knot on his forehead.
Afraid to move him, but not wanting to leave
him lying on the floor, either, Tammy fretted
around him trying to choose the correct action.
Thankfully, David began to come around,
saving her from making a decision.
Running to his side she touched him just to be
sure he was breathing. His breathing appeared
all right. She couldn't leave him there on the
floor until he came around. But, how could
she move him, he was no small boy?
She was saved from having to make a decision
either way, because David was beginning to
come around. An ugly bruise was already
beginning to form around the spot where the
clock had broken the skin.
David sat up with a start and immediately
grabbed his head. "What happened?" he asked
groggily. Pushing himself up off the floor, he
sat heavily on the side of the bed, with
Tammy's help.
Tammy eyed him sheepishly as he continued.
"I heard you screaming," he said slowly,
pulling his hand away from his forehead. He
froze, seeming to lose his train of thought
when he saw the blood.
"Let me take care of that," Tammy said,
jumping to action. It was the least she could
do. Moving up off the bed, she rushed to the
adjoining bathroom to get a cloth to clean the
cut.
"Where’s the first aid stuff?" she yelled from
the bathroom. She riffled through the cabinets
and beneath the sink. Nothing. And no answer
from David.
"David?" she called again, poking her head out
of the bathroom. going to the bathroom to get
a washcloth to clean up the cut. "Where's the
first aid stuff?" she yelled from the bathroom.
She riffled through the cabinet and under the
counter. No answer.
"David?," she yelled again, "where is the first
aid stuff?" She stuck her head out of the
bathroom. "Where’s the first aid stuff?" She
wandered out of the bathroom and into the
hallway.
"I'll get it," David was saying as he reached,
one-handedly into the hall closet. He grabbed
a bottle of alcohol and a basket of first aid
items. The entire works crashed to the carpet.
Tammy bent over and picked it up for him.
"You should let me do that," she said leading
him back to the guest room and sitting him on
the edge of the bed. She quickly cleaned the
wound and put a Band-Aid on it. She couldn't
began to remember why they all had little
green shamrocks on them.
When she raised a questioning brow in
David's direction, he merely shrugged. "I'm
pleading the fifth."
"Hmmm," Tammy mused, but remained silent.
The fact that he would be walking around
with a green and white Band-Aid in the
middle of his forehead would give her ample
opportunity to tease him later. She could
afford to let him slide on the matter at present.
When she completed the task, David sat the
first aid basket aside. "What it another bad
dream?"
Tammy looked down at her hands. "Yeah...uh,
it was. I’m sorry I caused all of this mess." She
gestured toward the broken clock and lamp.
"And I’m really sorry about your head."
David sighed and grinned at her. "What's a
battle scar here and there?" She noticed that he
tried to hide a wince.
"You’re going to have one monster of a
headache."
"Going to?" David asked, a moment too late.
His eyes had strayed from her face, and that
longing look was back. Tammy was not
immune.
David cleared his throat, and met her eyes. His
gaze burned into her and Tammy felt a rush of
heat engulf her. Her heart began to pound and
breathing became more difficult. She may not
have remembered him, but her body certainly
did.
David’s eyes dropped to her lips and half
before she realized what happened, his lips
were touching hers. Tentatively, gently
exploring, they brushed against hers,
requesting entry.
Tammy didn’t fight him. She couldn’t. She
allowed him to gently love her mouth with his
own.
Encouraged, David lifted his hands to touch
her face. "Tammy," he breathed. "Oh, Tammy,
I love you. I--"
Tammy pulled back. "No," she mumbled. "I
can’t." The hurt in David’s eyes was nearly her
undoing, but she steeled herself. She didn’t
know this man. And she didn’t know herself.
She knew that she liked him a lot, but that did
not equate to love. And she was only just
rediscovering herself as a person. If she gave
herself to him without love then she risked
losing what little of herself she had.
David forced a sad smile, and nodded his
acceptance of her decision. Sighing deeply, he
touched her hand. "Want to talk about your
dream?"
Tammy's eyes displayed her gratitude when
she responded. "It was about Daddy. That's all
I can remember."
"Hmmm," David considered that.
"Maybe it means something," he
offered. "Hope so," Tammy replied.
David nodded, then winced slightly. "Want
some company for a little while?"
"No," she told him matter-of-factly. "You need
to take some aspirin and get to bed. I'm sure
you're head's killing you."
"You're right," he agreed, and smiled at her.
He patted her hand once, and stood to leave.
"Good night, Tammy."
"Night, David."
~*~
"I remember!" David sat up with a start to find
Tammy leaning over him. His head ached, and
he was having difficulty thinking clearly.
"Huh?"
"I remember!" Tammy said bouncing on the
bed. Laughter was visible in her eyes, and she
reached up and threw her arms around him.
Her mood was contagious.
"You remember?!" David was stunned and
hugged her back. "When? How did it
happen?"
Tammy's glee diminished slightly. "Not
everything," she said. "I remember my father
dying--can you imagine that, being happy for
remembering a death?--and I remember
moving to the city."
"Really? That's wonderful Tammy," David
tried not to sound to deflated. He pulled her to
him and hugged her again. This was a start.
He would just have to wait a little longer. "I'm
so glad. We have to celebrate!"
"Agreed," Tammy said, grinning.
"Good," David threw back the covers. "Get
dressed."
"Yes Sir," Tammy saluted smartly. "Where we
going?"
"Breakfast," David informed her. "I know just
the place."
~*~

Breakfast was a pancake house that they often

enjoyed. The restaurant was part of a chain
that Tammy had remembered enjoying before.
After breakfast, somehow David managed to
end up at the zoo. He was so adorable in his
desire to see the polar bear exhibit that
Tammy couldn't deny him.
Once they finally reached the aforementioned
exhibit, David had stared at her with an odd
warm look in his eyes. When she'd questioned
him, he simply smiled secretively and pointed
toward the two animals.
"I'd like to introduce you to Buffy and Bip."
Thus a debate ensued concerning the
ridiculousness of such names for polar
creatures. Shortly after, David bought cotton
candy and peanuts, seeming determined to
stuff her silly with junk food. Tammy decided
that if she didn't get her memory back soon,
she would need to go on a diet.
The couple spent most of the morning at the
zoo, after which David disappeared inside of a
gift shop. When he reappeared, he presented
Tammy with a cap bearing the logo of the zoo.
"Where to next?" Tammy asked, as they
climbed into the car.
"You'll see," was David's cryptic reply.

Chapter Fourteen

Almost two hours later, David pulled the car

to a stop in a field near a deserted cross roads.
Tammy looked around the area and turned a
skeptical eye on him. They had gone sight-
seeing over what felt like most of the city,
most of the places having some tourist value.
The significance of this latest spot, however,
was completely lost on Tammy.
"I give up," she said.
David smiled at her and pulled a large basket
out of the trunk. It's delicious aroma's had
been teasing Tammy for the past 30 minutes,
but David would not allow her to open it. He
had picked it up at La Lira on the tail end of
their sight-seeing excursion.
"Finally we get to open it," she said, no longer
caring that they were in the middle of
nowhere. Despite all the junk they'd eaten
earlier in the day, she was ready for the food.
"Yes, Ms. Impatient," David found a blanket in
the trunk and spread it in the field. He
carefully began to pull cartoons of food from
the container. Tammy oohed over the feast
and began to help him.
Later, hunger completely sated, they lay
across the blanket. Tammy lay on her side,
playing with a bit of grass. David lay on his
back, his arms folded behind his head, staring
at the blue sky.
"La Lira is a great place," Tammy told him.
"Their food is wonderful."
"That's why, my dear," David said, "It's
probably your favorite restaurant."
"Yeah, it will--" Tammy turned a suspicious
eye on him. "Wait a minute. It already is my
favorite restaurant? David, do I sense an
ulterior motive?" She felt too warm and fuzzy
to be angry with him.
"Guilty," David admitted unabashedly. "I
knew you loved it, so that's where I got lunch."
"You sneak!" Tammy tossed an empty water
bottle at him. David ducked slightly, but
laughed at her. "What else where you up to?"
she asked him. "All of those places you took
me…"
"Oh all right," David rolled toward her. "Since
I'm caught, I may as well ‘fess up. Yes, the
Italian restaurant was your favorite, as I've
already let slip. But, it was also the place I
proposed."
Tammy gasped, touched. That had been
incredibly romantic. "Really?" she asked.
"Yes," David assured her. Then continued,
ticking off all of the places they have visited
and their significance. Tammy felt herself
going all mushy inside and there was precious
little she could do to stop it. But David wasn't
finished with her.
"The Zoo is where you first told me you loved
me. Right in front of the polar bear exhibit."
Tammy laughed at that, fighting the wetness
that threatened in her eyes. "Whatever caused
me to choose such a spot?" she tried to joke.
"Didn't matter to me," David assured her. "I
was so gone over you woman that it was
music to my ears no matter where we were."
Tammy gave up and let the tear fall. David
smiled, and gently wiped it away. She vaguely
wondered whatever had possessed her to
think that she could resist this man. "Okay,"
she said, her voice wavering slightly. "What
about this place? It's a deserted road."
"Oh no," David spoke softly, his gaze locked in
hers. He ran a gentle finger along the side of
her face. "This isn't just any road. This is our
cross roads."
"Our cross road?" Tammy asked, confused,
mesmerized.
"First kiss," David told her.
Tammy felt the breath go out of her. "First
kiss?" she whispered the question.
"Yes," David murmured back, his eyes
dropping to her lips. "Yes…" he murmured
again, his words almost a litany guiding her to
answer in kind to his unspoken question.
Tammy did not disappoint him.
Their lips touched and a raging fire sparked
between them. David did not kiss her chastely,
as he had before, but took her mouth in a
feverishly building passion. Tammy gave in
completely. There was no more denying that
she loved this man. She couldn’t remember
him, but still she loved him. It was a
conundrum, and she didn’t care.
The sound of a passing automobile pulled
them from their passion-drugged stupor.
Tammy gazed up at her husband stunned.
"Take me home, David. Please, take me home."
~*~
David was sure that no picnic was ever
cleaned up as quickly as his and Tammy's had
been. They'd tossed their lunch remains into
the basket and climbed into the car.
They'd shared a final passionate kiss before
he'd turned the car around and headed back
toward the city. Once awakened, Tammy's
passions ran hot. Throughout the drive, she
tormented him by running her hand along his
thigh or running her lips along the back of his
hand.
By the time they were inside the house, it was
all he could do to get the door locked, before
they were in one another's arms. They did
eventually make it up the stairs.

Later, David lay beside Tammy in bed, his

head propped up on one elbow. She was so
beautiful. And there was something he
desperately needed to tell her. As he lay
watching her, her eyes opened and she smiled
a Cheshire grin.
"Come here," she commanded, pulling him
toward her.
David was barely able to pull away moments
later when they broke the kiss. "I have to tell
you something," he said, taking both of her
wandering hands in his. One look at the fire in
her eyes and he nearly put of what he needed
to say. But, closing his eyes, he gathered his
strength. After they had become so intimate
again, he felt a fraud to keep the truth from
her.
"Tammy, there's something very important I
need to tell you."
Tammy stopped her provocative motions and
listened to him. Something of the seriousness
of his tone must have gave her pause.
David opened his mouth again to speak and
he heard the phone ringing in his office. A
quick glance toward the clock told him that it
was nearly four p.m. A sudden memory struck
him.
"Oh Lord, Tammy. I've got to go!" He hopped
out of bed, and then turned back toward her.
Confusion was written all over her face. "I was
supposed to sign off on a contract today… I
completely forgot. I'll be back in an hour and
we'll pick up right where we left off," he
promised.
Dashing back to the bed, he gave her a
passionate kiss of infinite promise. "Don't go
away," he said and then he quickly dressed
and was gone.
~*~
Tammy turned before the full length mirror,
taking in her appearance. She wore one of
David's blue oxford dress shirts. It fell to just
above her knees, emphasizing her small
stature. Her hair was a tangled mass, evidence
of the way she and David had spent the last
few hours. Her eyes sparkled with happiness,
and her lips curled into a satisfied smile. She
wore nothing beneath the shirt. Perhaps she
would remain this way until David returned.
The doorbell rang, interrupting her happy
musings. Glancing quickly around the room,
she picked up the nearest article of clothing
that she could find--the jeans that she'd worn
that morning.
She opened the door to find a lovely, darkly
exotic woman standing there. "Hello
Tamellyn," the woman said. The voice was one
from a dream, or a nightmare.
Tammy felt as if her world tunneled. She
reached out a hand and grabbed for the wall.
It's sun-drenched warmth strengthened her,
provided a bit of stability in the storm that she
felt was sure to come.
"I don't think you remember me," the woman
continued. "I replaced you in the training
program when you left ACI. Like you, I
worked under David. Very closely under
David. We were very, very good friends. Some
might even say more than friends. Amazing
how I keep replacing you, isn't it?"
Tammy's head swam. Memories, emotions
and voices were rushing at her like the wind.
"I…know…you," she managed.
"Oh really?" Katy questioned. "Who am I?"
Tammy struggled. "K…K…"
"Ka-te-na," Katy said the name as if she were
speaking to someone who was not operating
at normal mental capacity. "Can you say that?"
she spat.
When a moment later, Tammy hadn't
responded. Katy continued. "Okay, whatever.
Look, I see David isn't here right now. Give
him my love would you?" With that the
woman turned and walked back to a shiny red
Ford and drove away.
Tammy stood in the middle of the sidewalk
utterly lost. "Katena…" she breathed fearfully
and then she remembered nothing else.
~*~
David pulled into his drive way to find that
the garage had returned Tammy's car. The tow
truck was just pulling out of the drive.
David parked his car along the street and got
out to sign the necessary papers and to take
possession of Tammy's now repaired vehicle.
After sending the garage employee on his
way, David ran back to his car and scooped up
the bouquet of flowers that he'd bought for
Tammy.
A smile spread across his face as he headed up
the drive. Nothing could stifle his good mood,
not even the scene that had gone down at ACI.
Katy had not taken his signing off her training
very well. And she certainly hadn’t
appreciated the transfer to a neighboring
branch. David didn’t care. Katy was an
excellent worker, but she really needed to
refocus her attentions. He knew that her
presence had bothered Tammy, and only
recently he’d begun to understand why. He
wished that he had listened to her earlier.
As he neared the door, something brought
him up short. It took half a second to realize
what was wrong: the front door was partially
open. A sliver of fear ran down his spine.
Moving quietly, he pushed the door all the
way open and stepped inside.
"Tammy?" he called softly, leaving the door
open behind himself. His worry and anxiety
grew out of proportion as he continued to
search the house. Tammy was nowhere to be
found.
Frantically, David called everyone he could
think of. If many of their friends thought him
odd for asking such a strange question, they
didn’t mention it, only promised to call if they
saw Tammy. Elaine was as worried as he was
and promised to look out for her daughter in
case she came to Valuma. And the police had
told him that it was too soon to file a missing
persons report.
When night began to fall, David panicked.
Unable to remain in the house any longer, he
set out to search the neighborhood. Having
just found his wife again, he couldn’t bear the
thought of losing her. He would go door to
door searching for her if he had to.
As he wandered through the darkening streets
of the quiet little neighborhood all he could
think of was Tammy. The way she’d looked at
him. The way she’d touched him. The way
she’d smelled.
Time dragged on, and he began to feel
hopeless. He started knocking on the doors
near his home. None of the neighbors
remembered seeing anything. Eventually, out
of options, he returned home.
He walked to the bottom of the steps where
he’d caught her that day when she fell; he
walked up to their bedroom where they’d
made love only hours before. He then walked
to the kitchen, reliving the memories of the
recent breakfasts that they’d had there. The
living room, the patio. He walked out into the
shadowed backyard where they’d gardened
together. A cloud covered the moon, leaving
the yard darker than usual.
With a heavy heart he beseeched the night
sky. "Please let her come back to me. I can’t
live without her."
As if alert to his pleas, the cloud continued its
path across the night sky, gradually
uncovering the moon. It’s muted light once
again shown on the earth. That was when
David noticed an unusual lump near the patch
of dirt that he and Tammy had worked.
"Tammy?" he called, then when the bundle
moved, more loudly. "Tammy!"
He cradled her in his arms and carried her
gently back into the house. Settling on the
floor just inside the patio door, he engulfed
her in his arms, trembling nearly as much as
she.
"Oh Tammy," he groaned, drawing her closer.
"David?" she looked up at him, her red-
rimmed eyes filling and spilling over. "I
remember everything."
"Everything?" David asked, something cold
settling in his gut.
"Everything." she nodded.
"The baby?" David asked, full of shame.
"Yes," she nodded, her lower lip trembling.
"I’m-I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you... I--"
"S’okay," Tammy said. "I know."
David began to speak gently. "I’m happy that
you have your memory back, but I’m sorry to
at the pain that it’s causing you."
"I’m sorry I worried you," Tammy told him.
"It’s just when it started coming back I was so
confused. I started walking, and the more I
walked the more I remembered until
eventually I remembered everything. And
then I came back here. Back home."
"Do you know what triggered it?"
"No. It’s all sort of fuzzy about how it started."
David’s arms tightened convulsively around
her. "Well, I don’t care how it happened. I’m
just glad to have you back."
"I’m glad to be back," Tammy said. Then
pushing back from him, "I love you, David."
"I love you Tamellyn Brinkman. With all my
heart."
Tammy’s eyes dropped from his gaze to his
lips, and David had the distinct impression
that she was ready to catch up on a little lost
time. He was in complete agreement.
"One more thing," Tammy held off his kiss.
"What?" David asked, a drugged look already
in his eyes.
"You need to get rid of Katena."
"Already done, my love. Already done."