PLANNING THE ESSAY

Tips: The title analysis should lead directly to the plan. Your plan must be in brief note form. Practice: Choose a title and write out a plan in the column on the right. Title: Introduction Define vague/ambiguous terms Brief general statements Lead back to question Address absolute terms/sweeping statements Main Points 1 Brainstorm (for and against if argumentative essay) 2 Cancel out irrelevant points 3 Categorize points e.g. put a p next to points on the political aspect, e next to points on the economic aspect, s next to points on the social aspect and c next to points on the cultural aspect etc 4 Prioritize points. Number the points. 5 Write the topic sentence for each point Topic sentence must introduce one point. Topic sentence must answer the question directly. Repeat words and phrases (or their synonyms) from the title. 6 Give the elucidation and substantiation for each main point. Conclusion

ANALYZING THE TITLE Tips: Pay close attention to the qualifiers: what aspect(s) of the topic do they focus on? Remember! Misunderstanding the qualifiers is the single biggest cause of irrelevance in essays. Practice 1 To make sure you understand the qualifiers, what is the difference between the following titles? (Note that there is a change in the qualifiers in the second title). E.g. Title 1. The only worthwhile form of discipline is selfdiscipline. Discuss. 2. Self-discipline is a worthwhile form of discipline. Discuss. Difference 1. Only self-discipline is worthwhile. Other forms of discipline are not. 2. Self-discipline is worthwhile. (Assumes that other forms of discipline are also worthwhile although this is not central to the question) Difference Points Support: Only self-discipline is worthwhile. Counter: Self-discipline is not the only worthwhile form. Support: Self-discipline is worthwhile. Counter: Self-discipline has its limitations.

Title (GCE 2004-set a) 1a To what extent are the young in Singapore favoured at the expense of the elderly? 1b To what extent are the young in Singapore favoured? 2a Are the poor an inevitable feature of any society? 2b Are the poor a feature of society? 3a Advertising encourages a desire for products which people do not actually need. Discuss. 3b Advertising encourages a desire for products. Discuss. 4a How far is recycling the answer to the problem of waste? 4b Is recycling the answer to

Points

the problem of waste? For the following two questions, there is no change in the qualifiers but the difference in wording also leads to different requirements. State the difference in requirements and the points. Title 6a Far too much attention is given to beauty products and treatments. Do you agree? 6b Discuss why far too much attention is given to beauty products and treatments. Tip: Difference Points

Define vague and/or ambiguous terms. Give brief definitions only. Generally, give the common understanding of the term first. Give other possible definitions as additional points. If you give the other angles first and the common definitions last, your points may be awkward. Avoid defining commonly accepted words/concepts.

Practice 2 1. Define the following highlighted terms. E.g. Title The conflicts of the next decade are ready to erupt and are unavoidable. Do you agree? Definition Not limited to conventional war Includes areas of unrest and arenas of terrorism Note: If you did not include the above points but concentrated on say, conflict between the opening up of economies through globalisation and protectionism you are not wrong but your points may seem awkward because you missed out on the obvious points. However, if you include this point as an additional point to the first three points above, then your essay is acceptable. Definition

Title 1. Was life for young people in Singapore better in the past than it is today? 2. If people become ill it is largely their own fault. How far do you agree? 3. Do you agree that city life

is becoming increasingly unattractive?

Tip:

Directional terms. Terms such as discuss, comment, do you agree etc are used to vary the phrasing of the questions and do not read too much into them. They do not necessarily indicate whether the essay is expository (no need for counter points) or argumentative (counter points are absolutely necessary!). Give counter-points when it is possible to agree or disagree with the title (i.e. argumentative essay)

Practice 3: 1 State whether the following titles are expository or argumentative essays and whether you need to give counter-points. E.g. Title Expository or Counterargumentative? points necessary? Discuss the reasons for crime among young people Expository No and the ways in which they can be encouraged to behave differently? Title 1 Conformity should be the main aim of all schools. How far is this true? 2 Discuss the appeal and value of fantasy stories and films. Expository or Argumentative ? Counterpoints necessary?

WRITING THE INTRODUCTION Introductions are very important. Cambridge examiners write a comment next to introductions and language errors in introductions are heavily penalized (because candidates are supposed to be still fresh and at their linguistic best!) Tips: Define ambiguous and vague key terms (avoid defining commonly understood words/concepts) Qualify or recognize the danger of absolute terms. If you agree with a sweeping statement, your essay is inherently flawed. Define the task(s) the title sets and the issues this/these task(s) involve(s). However, avoid obvious statements such as In this essay. Im going to discuss. Open up the question for discussion. Avoid merely restating the question. May include general background information where this is relevant to the points above. Giving a brief historical outline, ending with the present situation would be useful for questions that emphasize today, modern society or some form of contrast with the past. Background information must lead back to the question to maintain relevance. Lead into the approach to be taken in the body of the essay. Keep introductions brief.

Practice 1: 1 Assess whether the following definitions meet the above requirements. E.g. a) Terrorism is the greatest threat today. How far do you agree with the statement? Terrorism, in my opinion, is a great though not the greatest threat today. ( ). The menacing nature of terrorism is very real as the terrorists are not unwilling to resort to all manner of violence to put their point across. This results in political instability and a low morale in the country, which in turn adversely affects economic development. ( ) However, I feel that terrorism is not the greatest threat today as there are other threats that may be as dire as that posed by the terrorists. ( )
b) Examine the factors which have contributed to the changing role of women in society.

In Stone Age times, women played second fiddle to men because brawn was necessary for survival. So Stone Age man protected his mate who in return kept cave for him: cooking, sewing clothes and rearing children. Thus with mans brawn and womans domestic role, civilization advanced. But as early as the 18th century, women realized that in a civilized world they need not play second fiddle, all the time but could also play a few solo pieces. ( ) In 1972, Mary Willstoneham wrote a short treatise entitled Vindication of Womens Rights. It was one of the first harbingers of the end of male supremacy. ( )
c) Discuss the possibility of the outbreak of a nuclear war.

Jonathan Schell in his book The Fate of the Earth wrote, The machinery of destruction is complete, poised on a hair trigger waiting for some misguided or deranged human being or some faulty computer chip to send out the instructions to fire. ( ) It is certainly true that a nuclear war could start by accident, for example, sparked by a terrorist incident; politicians may miscalculate or momentarily confuse their own or their nations destiny with that of mankind and start a war without reason; or a computer mixup( )

d) Terrorism is a major threat in the modern world. Discuss.

It was another vibrant night in Bali. The pubs were filling up. Suddenly, just after 10 oclock, explosions ripped through the crowded pubs. In the horror and confusion, many people lay dead and many more were injured. It was an Al Jemaiah bomb attack. ( ) Such are the dramas of terrorism which are flashed on to our television screens and headlined in the newspapers throughout the world. It is not just the violence which shocks the world, but the fact that this violence is used so indiscriminately. ( ) Terrorists threaten not only the lives but the way of life of us all. ( ) Practice 2 Explain the flaws in the following introductions and how they are likely to lead to essays that are narrow in scope, logically flawed or irrelevant. Money is the root of all evil. Do you agree? Money is a form of exchange for goods and services. It is essential for the worlds economy to function. It is indeed true that money makes the world go round. Evil are the wrong deeds that people do. I agree that money is the root of all evil.
Is sport too closely linked to money these days?

Sport has evolved from a substitute for hunting to a recreational activity to an economic venture today. Sport is intricately linked to money in many ways, whether it be through sponsorship of sporting events, product endorsements, media revenue or other ways. Thus, the link between sport and money is indeed very close.
Young people are slaves to fashion. Discuss.

Young people can be defined as teenagers between the age of eleven and twenty. Young people like to be trendy and will try to keep up with the latest fashion to remain popular. Fashion can be defined as wearing clothes that are seen as keeping up with the times. It can also include accessories such as bags, shoes and earrings. There are many reasons why young people are slaves to fashion.
Is the idea of having one partner for life still a realistic one?

A partner is a person who accompanies a person throughout his or her life. A partner can be a marriage partner or even a business partner. The great religions of the world all advocate having one marriage partner for life. Having one partner for life is more moral and should be the option taken.

WRITING THE PARAGRAPH :COHERENCE Tips: A paragraph is usually linked to the previous paragraph by a connector (connecting term, phrase or sentence) Logical connectors and indicators highlight the logical relationships between sentences leading to a cohesive and coherent paragraph. Practice 1 Match the appropriate heading to the groups of connectors: result, example, enumeration, result, addition and comparison, summary, passage of time. _________________ firstly, secondly, thirdly etc finally, next, last _________________ after a short time after a while, afterwards at last lately presently shortly since then temporarily then _________________ accordingly, consequently hence then therefore thus as a result thereby _______________________________ again futhermore also in addition and too and then indeed equally important in fact further moreover in a like manner likewise in the same way similarly ____________________ in brief in conclusion in short to conclude on the whole to summarise _____________________ for example for instance incidentally in particular namely specifically that is particularly in other words such as ______________________ after all but despite on the other hand yet whereas however in contrast in spite of nevertheless notwithstanding on the contrary perhaps while and yet at the same time granted naturally of course

WRITING AND DEVELOPING THE PARAGRAPH: Topic Sentences and Paragraph Development Tips: Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence A topic sentence is an opinion, observation or view directly relevant to the question i.e. each topic sentence should be a direct answer to the title. Topic sentences should include words/ phrases from the title or their equivalents. Each topic sentence should introduce one new point. The view expressed in the topic sentence must be elucidated: ( i.e. justified, expanded, analyzed etc) Substantiation (examples, facts, figures) should be given to support the elucidation. The elucidation and the substantiation should be combined The paragraph should clearly advance the essay forward one relevant step. Practice 1 TOPIC SENTENCES What is the point made in this paragraph? Paragraph 1 A common feature of religions is a past major figure who has established or developed and led the movement. Whether this past representative is now regarded as God varies with religions but all regard this person as the powerful teacher and expounder of the faith. Jesus Christ, Mohammed and Gautama Buddha are the representatives in respect of Christianity, Islam and Buddhism. The main point (or the main idea) of the paragraph is often stated in one sentence called the topic sentence or statement. The rest of the sentences are called supporting sentences. They provide details (reasons, evidence, facts etc) to support the main idea For very competent writers, topic sentences or statements may be at the beginning middle or end of the paragraph. The average student should place the topic sentence at the beginning of the paragraph. DEVELOPMENT OF POINTS Paragraphs can be developed (i.e. topic sentences) can be supported by Explanations Elaboration of Facts Comparisons Contrast Examples Study the following paragraphs. Identify the topic sentence. How are they supported? Paragraph 2 A person with an inferiority complex is unduly sensitive to criticism and resents any direct or implied evaluation of his personal qualities. Such a person also tends to apply all criticism to himself thinking that all whispered comments are directed against him. An additional characteristic is the desire for seclusiveness, since his inadequacy makes him

believe he is not wanted. It is thus quite possible to detect a person with an inferiority complex simply by observing his reaction to the incidents in everyday life. Paragraph 3 People often think of the tropical forest as an abundant source of food. This has led them to conclude that life in the tropical forest must be simple and easy. The truth is that life in the tropical forest is a constant struggle for survival. Large game is more common in the open grassland than in the forest. Domestic animals cannot be kept because of disease and lack of food. Large terrains have to be crossed in the search for food and the people have to be content to live in the most rudimentary and temporary shelters. Paragraph 4 Unlike the United States farmer, who harvests his rice by using machines, Indonesian farmers use human power. Generally, American farmers use ploughs, combines and harvesters to get their grain. These men are paid good salaries for their work. In contrast most Indonesian harvesters are women. Their equipment consists of a single tool called anai-anai, a small blade attached to a bamboo stick. The women cut the stems of the rice handful by handful and put the bundles into a basket which they carry on their backs, As soon as the basket is full, the harvester goes to the owner. The wages depend on how many bundles they cut, but normally, they get one bundle out of every eight bundles as their wages. Paragraph 5 Raising houseplants involves nearly as much care and knowledge as raising children. Both plants and children are sensitive to their environments. For example, a plant will grow faster and be much healthier if it is raised in an environment of tender loving care. The same is true for a child, who will be happier and healthier if his parents love and nurture him. Similarly, proper care of houseplants requires a basic knowledge of plants on the part of the owner. He must know, for example, which of his plants need direct sunlight and which need to be kept in shady places, and how much water each plant requires for the best growth an appearance. Parents too must have a basic knowledge of their childrens needs in order to provide what is necessary for the best physical and mental development. Finally, the owner of the house plants must be willing to provide the best possible care for his plants. A child needs time and energy from his parents too. They have to play with him, talk to him and care for him. Generally speaking, happy healthy plants and children are the result of extra time, knowledge and energy given on the part of parents.

Practice 2 Write topic sentences using each of the points below. You are to assume that each topic sentence marks the beginning of a new paragraph. Make sure your topic sentences answer the question directly and introduce one new point. Vary your sentence structures. E.g. Can the media ever be relied on to convey the truth? 1 The media cannot always be relied on to convey the. 2 A second reason why the media cannot be trusted to be committed to reporting the truth is because of economic considerations such as the power of the advertising dollar. 3 Thirdly, the media does not consistently report the truth as it may give in to the economic necessity to sensationalise the news to attract readers/viewers.

4 5 1

However, there are times when the media can also be relied on to give reports which aim to approximate the truth. The media does often tell the truth because the public in democratic countries demand it. Account for the popularity of any one sport Reasons i) government support ii) mass media iii) commercialization iv) easily accessible facilities/equipment v) affordability vi) charismatic/glamorous stars Our attitude towards nature is the biggest threat to the environment. Comment. Agree i) apathy ii) greed/materialism iii) not willing to sacrifice conveniences iv) see it as our birthright to use nature as we see fit Disagree i) some are not aware of the problem ii) others do not have the opportunity to care about nature as they have to grapple with poverty, war etc.

ADDITIONAL EXERCISES

Practice 3
What are topic sentences? Read through the following passage and notice how the topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph make the paragraph structured, focused and easy to follow. What do you think could be the title of this essay? Do you realize that newborn children are not even aware that parts of their bodies belong to them? I learned this fascinating fact in my psychology course from a book that says a baby lies on his back, kicking his heels and watching the little fists flying past his face. But only very slowly does he come to know that they are attached to him and he can control them. (Mary Ann Spencer Pulaski, Understanding Piaget, p21). Children have a lot of learning to do before they can see the world and themselves -through grown-up eyes. As children pass through this remarkable process of growing up, they often do some humorous things, especially in learning to speak, in discovering that all objects do not have human characteristics and in trying to imitate others around them. Not surprisingly, one area in which children are often humorous is in learning to speak. I remember one time I was

Thesis statement

Topic Sentence

Specific Support

Topic Sentence Specific Support Specific Support

talking to a friend on the phone while my little sister, Betsy seemed to be playing inattentively on the floor nearby. After I hung up, Betsy asked me, Why is the teacher going to give Janet an old tomato? At first, I couldnt figure out what Betsy was talking about. When I asked her what she meant, she said, You said if Janet doesnt hand in her homework, the teacher is going to give her an old tomato. Finally I caught on. The word I had used was ultimatum! Children can also be funny in the way they humanize the objects around them. According to my psychology book, Up to four or five years old, the child believes anything may be endowed with purpose and conscious activity. A ball may refuse to be thrown straight, or a naughty chair may be responsible for bumping him (Pulaski, Understanding Piaget, p45). I myself can remember one vivid and scary afternoon when I was sure the sun was following me around, just waiting for the right moment to get me. I can also remember a time, not scary, when Betsy stood at the top of the stairs and yelled to her shoes at the bottom, Shoes! Get up here! Another way in which children are sometimes funny in their attempts to imitate what they see around them. All children look pretty silly when thy dress up like their mothers and fathers and play house. My psychology book tells of a more interesting example, though. The famous psychological Jean Piaget wrote of the time his sixteen-month-old daughter quietly watched a visiting little boy throw a tantrum to get out of his playpen. Piagets daughter thought it would be fun to try the same thing: The next day, she herself screamed in her play-pen and tried to move it, stamping her foot lightly several times in succession. The imitation of the whole scene was most striking" (quoted in Pulaski, Understanding Piaget, p 81). Little children are funny creatures to watch, arent they? But as we laugh , we have to admire too, because the humorous mistakes are but temporary side trips that children take on the amazingly complicated journey to maturity a long way from the beginning where they lay in wonder, silently watching the strange, fingered spacecraft passing back and forth before their infant eyes.

Topic Sentence Specific Support Specific Support

Reworded Thesis Statement

Practice 4 Ensuring relevance through topic sentences The following is a summary of the points made in an essay by a student. The question was: What value has international sport in the relations between nations? The essay was out of point to a great extent. Explain why. Explain how writing topic sentences that answer the question at the beginning of each paragraph would help to ensure that this essay becomes relevant. Introduction Some sentences on the popularity of sports today a few popular sports mentioned.

First Paragraph

A description of the value of sports in the development of the body.

Second Paragraph A description of the value of sports in the development of character in the encouragement of such qualities as cooperativeness, endurance, graciousness in the face of defeat, etc Third Paragraph A description of the Olympic Games its origin its value in bringing together competitors of different races and political ideologies from all over the world learn to understand one another better.

The following is a summary of the points made in another essay. The question was: A film has one purpose to entertain. Using examples, consider this view..Is this essay relevant, totally irrelevant or partially irrelevant? Explain how writing topic sentences that answer the question at the beginning of each paragraph would help to ensure that this essay becomes relevant. Introduction First Paragraph Some sentences about the different types of films and assessment of how popular each type is The value of each type of film.

Second Paragraph Detailed description of suspense films. Third Paragraph Fourth Paragraph How suspense films are only entertaining but with not much other value The need to censor some types of films

Practice 5 The following are excerpts of paragraphs taken from students essays. Assess whether they are relevant. Explain the role of topic sentences in ensuring relevance. What effects has commercialization had upon sport? (Paragraphs from the body of the essay) 1 Commercialized sports has also led to some businessmen setting up illegal betting centers where people can bet on who is going to win or lose. This promotes gambling which is bad for a person who can lose a lot of money if he is addicted to it. One example is the betting centers in England where bookmakers take bets for football matches. 2 Branded goods have also been affected by commercialization in sports. Due to advertising and endorsement by sport personalities, ordinary people would want to buy sporting goods that their idols themselves wear or use. Yonex which specializes in badminton gear has been rather successful in their advertising as people would relate badminton to Yonex and would buy its gear if they take up the sport. What can be done to alleviate suffering in the world? (A paragraph from the body of the essay) The absence of wars may reduce much of the sufferings of the people by bringing forth peace and happiness on earth. Wars are usually associated with destruction and the loss of property as well as lives. Such losses suffered by countries and nations definitely bring

pain. Even news about the outbreak of war upsets a reader who reads about it in a newspaper report. Should the media practice censorship (A paragraph from the body of the essay) It is evident that the media in many countries practice censorship. Often, scenes that are considered too explicit are taken out of films while pictures that are deemed offensive are deleted from the print media. In fact, newspapers also control the kind of language used. Language that is considered inappropriate is also taken out. This is to protect public morals. In the political arena, censorship is also often practiced as the ruling party tries to uphold its vested interests. Practice 6 Ensuring relevance through topic sentences Here are some examples of essay topics and questions that seem to be alike in their requirements but really are not. 1 2 3 4 1 2 1 2 3 1 2 1 2 Identify the points that would be relevant for each of the topics in each group. Present your points clearly to show points that are common to all topics and points that are distinct to a particular title. Write clear topic sentences for all the points that are relevant to a particular topic. Make sure that topic sentences for overlapping points are twisted to suit each question. What part do newspapers play in your country? What part should newspapers play in your country? Modern Science has done more harm than good. Discuss What, in your opinion, has been the most significant scientific development of this century? Scientific advancement must be accompanied by moral awareness and responsibility? Comment. Education does not develop individuality but conformity. Is such a statement always valid? Conformity should be the main aim of all schools. How far is this true? How far do you agree that health is the responsibility of the government, not of the individual? If people become ill it is largely their own fault. How far do you agree?

WRITING THE CONCLUSION Tips: The conclusion should state the final solution(s)/ dilemma(s), issue(s) or prediction(s) raised in the essay. There should be a clear sense of closure. Cambridge defines closure as follows: When an essay finishes at the end of one side of the answer script, the examiner feels no need to turn over the page to see if more has been written because of the strong sense of closure. Practice 1 Study the introductory and concluding paragraphs for the following model essays and identify the method of concluding in each case. i.e. summarizing the main points in the essay restating the main idea in different words using an effective quotation to bring the essay to an end returning to the beginning and echoing it offering a solution(s) to the problem setting a new frame of reference by generalizing from the main idea Note that the above methods can be used singly or together with other methods. Discuss also the relative effectiveness of the different conclusions. 1 Advantages and disadvantages of living in the twentieth century Introduction A person born in the twentieth century has seen many changes take place in almost all areas of human life. Some people are excited by the challenges that these changes offer; others long to return to the simpler, less automated lifestyle of the past. Living in the twentieth century has certain advantages, such as a higher standard of living, but it also has some disadvantages, such as a polluted environment, the depersonalization of human relationships and the weakening of spiritual values. Conclusion In conclusion, although the twentieth century has indeed given us a lot of advantages by making us richer, healthier and freer to enjoy our lives, it has in my opinion, not made us wiser. The twentieth century has also made our Earth dirtier, our people less humane, and our spiritual lives poorer. We should continue to enjoy the benefits of technological advancement because they free us to pursue our interests and goals. However, we must make a concerted effort to preserve our natural environment for future generations. Moreover, we should take the time now to make our lives more meaningful in an increasingly impersonal, mechanized world. 2 Do you agree that homes for the aged are unnatural homes? Introduction In my opinion, homes for the aged are not unnatural homes. There are reasons for this emphatic stand of mine. Conclusion Care, consideration, understanding and a sense of belonging would you consider that unnatural?

ESSAY TEMPLATE
You may want to use this template for your first essay to ensure that you fulfill all the requirements. INTRODUCTION:
Define vague terms, qualify absolute terms, set the task, open up the question, give general background (optional), lead into the question

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BODY
Each paragraph to start with a topic sentence that answers the question directly, followed by elucidation and substantiation. Cover a range of points. Similar points should be in sequence.

Paragraph 1 Topic sentence:

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Elucidation________________________________________________________________________________________________
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Substantiation
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Paragraph 2 Topic sentence:

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Elucidation________________________________________________________________________________________________
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Substantiation
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Paragraph 3 Topic sentence:

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Elucidation________________________________________________________________________________________________
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Substantiation
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Paragraph 4 Topic sentence:

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Elucidation________________________________________________________________________________________________
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Substantiation
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Conclusion
Summarize, restate the main idea/echo the introduction & offer a solution/set a new frame of reference, use an effective quotation ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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ESSAY CHECKLIST
List of common mistakes .Based on your previous assignment(s), compile a list of mistakes that you are guilty of and take note of how you can correct them. Make sure you refer to this before you write your next essay. 1 Area Topic Sentences: -Answer the question directly? -At the beginning of each paragraph? -Repeat words and phrases (or their synonyms/equivalents) from the title? RELEVANCE Essay Essay Essay Essay Essay Essay Essay Essay 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

2 Area

ORGANISATION Essay 1 Essay Essay 2 3 Essay Essay Essay 4 5 6 Essay Essay 7 8

Organisation within paragraph (topic sentence, development, illustration)? Organisation within essay -Similar points in sequence? -Categorization of points (eg political, economic, social and cultural/international , national, individual etc) -Ordering of points from most important to least important?

3 Area

ADEQUACY Essay 1 Essay Essay 2 3 Essay Essay Essay 4 5 6 Essay Essay 7 8

Adequate number of points? Adequate development of points? Adequate range of points?

4. Area

MATURITY Essay Essay Essay Essay Essay Essay Essay Essay 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Balanced viewpoint (crucial for argumentative essays) Logic -Pointed out sweeping statements/absolut e terms in title (if any)? -Use of sweeping statements? -Use of thus, hence, therefore without cause and effect relationship? -Contradictions? 5 Area Redundancies Although and but With and it (eg with this, it shows that) Unnec use of whereby Wrong tenses Tenses dont match LANGUAGE Essay 1 Essay Essay 2 3 Essay Essay Essay 4 5 6 Essay Essay 7 8

Verb and subject dont match Punctuation Mistakes Recurrent spelling mistakes Slang/Colloquialism s Incomplete sentences Inappropriate use of words