Female Wet Dreams - Islamic Perspectives & Regulations

By Umm Reem
Reprinted Irom MuslimMatters.org

Some time ago, I gave a series oI lectures on Taharah (cleanliness) to the sisters in my
community. A number oI questions were raised Irom the discussion. It was nice and a very
open talk since the one giving the lecture was a Iemale herselI. The sisters Ielt quite
comIortable asking questions, in detail, that they normally Ieel shy about.

One oI the matters that we discussed was about the exact nature oI Iemale wet dreams. I
realized that this issue is not only complicated Ior sisters but also a much neglected subject.
This is why, I decided to have a Iull entry on this topic, Ior a number oI reasons:
1. This matter is not as simple and clearly distinguishable Ior sisters as it is Ior brothers, so it
must be thoroughly explained.
2. There are a number oI lectures given Irom shayukh to the brothers, in detail; however,
rarely do we ever hear any Shariah explanation Ior sisters, in detail.
3. Mothers Ieel shy talking to their daughters about it. In which case, iI the young daughter
experiences a wet dream, she may not know the Shariah ruling on it or how to puriIy herselI
aIterward.
Hence, I decided to contribute this piece, along with the help oI a proIessional Gynecologist,
Dr. Fatimah Lalani and Shaykh Yasir Qadhi, so it may help and beneIit all the sisters who
read this.

Wet dreams are as normal Ior women as they are Ior men. Although, the Irequency may be
lower compared to men, nonetheless, the occurrence oI wet dreams among women does not
indicate any abnormality.
Umm Salamah said: ~Umm Sulaym came to the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu alihi
wasalam, and said, O Messenger of Allah, Allah is not too shy to tell us the truth. Does a
woman have to do ghusl if she has a wet dream?` The Prophet said: Yes, if she sees
water (a discharge).` Umm Salamah covered her face and said, O Messenger of Allah,
can a woman have an erotic dream?` He said, Yes, may your hands be rubbed with
dust. How else would her child resemble her?` (Bukhari)

ThereIore, iI a girl/woman sees a wet dream, it does not mean that she is sexually perverted,
lewd or immodest in any sense. It is out oI her control, especially Ior younger girls who may
be experiencing many hormonal changes in their bodies. In Iact, the Shariah itselI recognizes
wet dreams as a sign oI puberty.
~And when the children among you come to puberty (al-hilm). |al-Noor 24:59|
The same term, ,2, is used Ior both puberty and wet dreams, marking wet dreams an
indication oI puberty.
Besides, Allah azzawajal created wet dreams as an outlet Ior men and women to release their
sexual energy. It happens as a result oI human nature which Allah azzawajal has created
HimselI and no blame can be put on a person. Moreover, since wet dreams happen during
sleep, while a person has no control over himselI/herselI, the Shariah Irees a person Irom any
blame.

The Messenger oI Allah, sallallahu alihi wasalam, said: ~The Pen has been lifted from
three: from the one who is sleeping until he wakes up, from the child until he reaches the
age of puberty, and from one who is insane until he comes to his senses. (Tirmidhi)
Also, keep in mind that the Prophet, sallallahu alihi wasalam, did not reprimand the woman
who had a wet dream, neither did he declare it 'abnormal Ior women. Rather, he made it
quite clear that women can have wet dreams just like men do and there is no oddity or
incongruity with it.

Aisha (ra) said: The Messenger of Allaah, sallallahu alihi wasalam, was asked about a
man who notices some wetness but does not remember having a wet dream. He said,
~He should do ghusl. He was asked about a man who thinks that he had an erotic
dream but does not see any wetness. He said, ~He does not have to do ghusl. Umm
Salamah said, ~O Messenger of Allah, does a woman have to do ghusl if she sees
something like that? He said, ~Yes, women are the twin halves of men. (Tirmidhi, Abu
Dawood)

And so, I want to remind the parents and the husbands to educate themselves on this subject
beIore making any hurtIul or psychologically damaging remarks to their womenIolk. This
matter is as normal among women as it is among men.
Having said this, I want to encourage mothers to inIorm and educate their daughters about
such dreams. Do not underestimate what others are capable oI teaching your daughter,
including her Iriends (inside or outside the schools, Muslims or non-Muslims) or even
teachers. Even iI they do not attend the 'sex-Ed class at the school, I can assure you that they
will be taught by their Iellow students. Most oI my teen students learned about these issues
Irom their classmates during 3rd and 4th grade. That was about ten years ago and over the
time; our society has only become more corrupted.

It is best that a daughter hears and learns this inIormation directly Irom her own mother rather
than Irom someone else educating her in school or in the streets. A mother`s education is
sincere, pure, and Iree oI any vulgarity. Besides, a Muslim mother can/should always point
out the Islamic recognition oI the normality oI our body Iunctions and the Shariah rulings
about it.
Do not wait until your daughter asks you, because she may never ask you. This is a step that a
mother has to initiate and be the Iirst to 'break the ice. My suggestion is to explain exactly
what happens during a wet dream, next give her the biological/hormonal cause, and then
explain to her the Islamic ruling about it. Make your daughter Ieel comIortable, do not pass
any embarrassing comments, put a smile on your Iace but be precise.

Also, do not wait until her menstrual cycle starts. It is better to educate her once the signs oI
puberty start appearing in her. During my discussion with Dr. Lalani, I asked her iI a girl
could have wet dreams beIore she has her Iirst menstrual cycle. And she replied:
'Yes I suppose it is possible. Puberty is a continuum and can begin around age 9-10, starting
with development oI breasts, pubic and underarm hair, a growth spurt, and then menses.
Throughout this time you have hormonal changes, so I suppose you could have a wet dream,
prior to onset oI menses.
It led to my other question: Can wet dreams in itselI mark the onset oI a girl`s puberty
(balagha) making her accountable Ior her religious obligations like Iasting and hijab? OI
course as any Iiqhi matter, this too, had ikhtilaI (diIIerence oI opinions). I do not intend to
deIend one opinion or the other, but I will brieIly mention both opinions.

Those scholars, who support the opinion that wet dreams are an indication oI a girl reaching
the age oI puberty, base their opinion on the signs oI male puberty and do not make any
distinction between the two genders; they include menstruation as an additional sign Ior
Iemales.

However, the other opinion is inIerred Irom a number oI ahadith that state that the rulings are
to be established at time oI menstruation, like the hadith oI the Prophet sallallahu alihi
wasalam:
~Allah does not accept the prayer of a menstruating woman i.e who has gotten her
menstruation] unless she wears a veil khimar]~. |Abu Dawood, at-Tirmizi|
And like the narration in Sahih Muslim in which the Prophet sallallahu alihi wasalam
indicated that a man`s prayer is cut oII when a woman who has gotten her menstruation
passes in Iront oI him. In this hadith, the sign oI a baligha (a woman who has reached
puberty) was indicated by her menstruation, wAllahu ta`ala alam.

To conclude, since the Iemale wet dream may or may not be accompanied by a discharge,
contrary to that oI men, I posed a Iew questions to the shuyukh based on the discussion I had
with other women and I received Iollowing answers Irom Sh. Yasir Qadhi:
These answers are by Sh. Yasir Qadhi:
To be honest we rarely find such DETAILED discussion in fiqh books, most likely
because men are not as familiar with this topic as they should be.
However, based on the hadith of the Prophet, sallallahu alihi wasalam, I would say that:

Question: II a woman sees a sexual dream but is conIused whether she had an orgasm or not,
what should she do? (Please keep in mind that Iemale genital area is always wet, and they do
not necessarily always have extra discharge upon orgasm, so the matter is not as easy to
discriminate as Ior men)

Answer: The asl (original) is that she has not had a wet dream, so until there is yaqin
(certainty) she does not have to take a bath. ThereIore, iI she does not remember an orgasm,
and her private area is not extra wet, she doesn`t have to do ghusl (bath).

Question: II she sees extra vaginal discharge but is sure that she didn`t have any dream oI
sexual nature at all?

Answer: Vaginal discharge does not necessitate ghusl, no problems here.
Question: II she sees extra vaginal discharge and is conIused about the dream (i.e. vaguely
recalls something but is not sure either), again keeping in mind that extra vaginal discharge
could be completely hormonal or due to the normal menstrual cycle?

Answer: She must have yaqin (certainty) or at least a very strong presumption that she`s had
a wet dream (which includes an orgasm).
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Umm Reem is a lawyer-wiIe, a negotiator-mom, a proIessional cook, and an average
housekeeper who excels in management oI multiple chores at a time. However, she believes
her real specialty is her superb driving skills, because she can drive with her leIt hand (at
times with no hand depending on the situation), while managing to keep an eye both on the
road and the back seat, solving disputes between her two elder children, usually on an unjust
occupation oI more than a Iair share oI a seat by one or the other. At the same time, she has to
keep the third one quite who is normally situated in the middle on her car seat, and becomes
squished between India & Pakistan.err, her elder daughter and son. On a serious note, Allah
azzawajal has blessed Umm Reem with 3 wonderIul children, aged 3 to 11, with the elder two
home-schooled (walhamdullilah). She completed her bachelors in Islamic Studies Irom AOU
(American Open University) recently, and has been actively involved with MSA, TDC and
community activities Ior many years. Although she is not a proIessional counselor, she has
been pulled into helping mothers and teenage daughters Ior a Iew years, including counseling
youth at al-Huda in Houston. She was also the Iounder oI Daughters oI Adam- the magazine
(2001-2007) which will be rejuvenated online in the near Iuture.

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