Let it Rain, unto Me

The Rain just keeps pounding the inside of my head, I see clouded visions of Sandy, and then they vividly swirl into Susan, as I see her in my rear view mirror. The road is winding upwardly into the tops of the pass; Susan is trying too sober up, she had a little too much Somas. Her nerves are racked from the daily routine we left behind at the Rock House; something very few people could survive, yet her love for me and my bike, is where she learns to keep that strong willed spirit, her party was over for now, but she is tuff, a real trooper, just what I need next to me. We are passing HWY 96 straight thru Mount Adams into Indian country, home. She is amazed that we got out of there alive, her eyes are still full of excitement, youthfully intrigued, as she rubs my shoulders; I speed it up a bit, passing a trucker, he honks his horn admiring us, checking her out, her renegade looks. I know there are few thing in life that compares to complete freedom, as a biker has, nothing sexier then a biker with his chick trying to get away. The pass is full of family types, husband and wifes, children screaming nonsense, carloads full of dreams. Yet our only dream remains at fire lake, the life we choose has no other out come, she rests her head on my back, and falls asleep as I purr my bike, cruising in and out of traffic heading straight to my buds house, the great legendary Wapato. He will have something to clear out the mind, to help me wash away the rain within my head. Sons of vengeance come to rescue me, as I am tied to an old oak tree, screaming into the night, the wolves are hounding getting closers moment by moment I wait. Screaming in the night I would die for you, Sandy would whisper sweet nothings into my ears, and I guess when Susan did that I instantaneously fell in love. She has replaced my rider, and filled my heart, I had plenty of friends, and I didnt need any more, but then there she was. I would see her heart rise with passion as I told her my story about a loss love. Sandy was forever a part of me, instructing my waking hours, always watching for my safety, maybe she caused Susan to find me, so that I would not be alone. I knew it all along as she too had losses, someone very special from a bad deal gone wrong. She would say laughingly Im jealous of her, then stop and looking into her own memories, then would slap me, as I started to tease her, she would say Why dont we ride out of L.A. We belong home back in the woods, where the spirits fly, we could be as the great eagles, that is where we belong, our hair is liken too many feathers caught in the winds of change, away from these rainbows of illusions, crazy idiots aboard this ship of fools, eagarly clawing at us.

I was never afraid of loosing her until last week when the gunfight nearly killed me. She stood up and told me Tom I know that now we must leave, tomorrow together, this is a calling from Wapato, he is waiting. When Mike and Keith heard Wapatos name they new that our party was officially over for now, we packed the next mourning heading north. The yard was as if it had not changed since the last time I was here, It didnt remind me of anything, just Susans face in the mirror, would change back and forth from Sandys, two beautiful women of my life. Wapato was standing on his porch grinning. He was looking at Susan, talking to me, You too survived the Rock House the lendgendery Joker, I guess you will need to rest, come inside; my abode is your home. Its another lonely evening, in another lonely town, I never stop worry when a women gets me down, its another empty bottle and another empty heart, but I know what Im going to do, Im going to ride on. I broke another promise, yet Im know that Im not to young to notice, that I must get right back on the right track; its another red light night mare, another red light ride. I got myself a one-way ticket, do not know why I got it going the wrong way, I am going to change my ways one of these days. I take another hit, because Im so lonely, I thing Im going to die, Im going to ride on, looking for a track, I must keep on riding on, to find myself a good time, one of these days. Wapato is a tall Yakima Indian about fifty or more; yet he has long hair, coal black and his statue is demanding. He has the look that only close friends would understand, a friendly yet demanding stare. He is wearing a top hat, wrapped with snakeskin, and an old black bandana. He has on a leather vest tattered but clean, his arms are full of biker tattoos, mixed with Indian Dreams across his back, his voice could mesmerize a snake, as I hear him and Susan in the kitchen, cooking. He calls Susan a Gypsy, she looks more Irish then Indian, although Wapato already knows who she is, a cousin from Warm Springs Indian Reservation. Susan your true name is Woman Flys Inside Dreams, your grandfather the Eagle named you, that is your Indian name, Susan laughs out loudly, saying to Wapato Stop Wapato, Tom doesnt know my name, we just met two months ago. Wapato says sternly, Woman Flys Inside Dreams, you have always knew The Joker, he is a WaterBuster, perpetually flying into the void returning with gives for everybody, he returned one day with you! Susan was intrigued, listening to what Wapato was saying. She walked into the living room and kissed me on my cheek, Tom wake up, dinner is ready, here is a cold beer, how is your arm, is it sore? She pulled back my shirtsleeve looking for the bullet wound, the scar was gone, no evidence of a bullet wound. She looked puzzled, turning and looking into Wapatos blue eyes Wapato laughed, The Jokerman has always been a shape shifter, yesterdays bad events are nonexistence here at home, he is where he belongs, as are you I stand up and chug my beer down grabbing Susan by the arm, I tell her to follow me. I take her out back, and point at the sweat lodge, she smiles and says Tom, can we please sweat together, I really need you next to me, and I miss you so much. The happiest place for us is the other side, which is where we belong. I hold her hand and say confidently Of course we are going in together, but first we must pray with Wapato for safely getting us here. Now come hurry lets go look at something special, my private place to dwell and think about stuff that really matters, the sun, the moon, the sky, the earth, me and you. I have been with you there only in dreams, come lets follow my dream of sharing it with you.

We walked for a little bit looking around, the trees here are really tall, they are evergreens, blocking the sunlight, as it is soon going to be sunset, I ask Susan if she wanted to walked to the cliffs, she says O.K. It takes about twenty minute to walk, but I have been there before and know exactly where they are, we got there just in time to see the sun lower itself behind the mountain glaciers, a spectacular view, bluish hints reflected, mixing with orange sky line, she holds me tightly as we both sit down. I throw a piece of granite over the edge, moments latter it hits the sides of the cliff, just before splashing into the raging river. She ask me if I knew she was Wapatos cousin, I said yes I figured her out in Santa Monica, I told Wapato about you and he laughed, saying something in an old Yakima dialect. He said to me three months ago that somebody is on there way, to follow me back home, and he is always right, that is how I knew that you were from Oregon, my own legacy started here on this mountain, years ago. I stand up and tell her to lets hurry back, before he leaves, and forgets that we are here. We run together like two children so comfortable and so secure being here, nothing has penetrated our minds, the whole evening is only about us, and each others comforts, sober. When we get to the back door, it creeks out slowly, as if it had a mind of its own, Susan looks at me smiling. Wapato is kneeling in front of the stone fireplace, he is holding an ancient Rossetta stone, the flicking deep reddish blue flames seem to take command of the whole room. As we pass the table, I smell all the food, red meat, dear steaks, potatoes, baked breads, and of course mushroom, sprinkled with sage. I stand next to Susan, and she holds my hand, bowing her head. I follow suite, and the back door swings shut, as the room seems to darken, the flames grow hotter. The Wizard has entered the room, waving hello to everybody, as we are now inside the middle of a grand circle, many people are here, mystically they chant. Susan is taken away from me, as the Wizard is passing handfuls of crystals to everybody, he stops right in front of me and says, So many souls have passed thru your finger tips, yet your hands are as clean as my own, Jokerman, lets party one more time, shall we? I willingly take my share of crystals, looking into them. The Wizard turns away, and the room fills up with purple smoke, Susan is still holding my hand, and Wapato ask me if I seen any thing, I just sit down and open my hands to look at a tiny collection of stones, jagged edged, multicolored crystal.

The first time she served me, she was so elegant, she has a natural demure about her, sophisticated, yet maturely concerned if she is pleasing me, I tell her thank you, please sit down next to me, and I will cut the steak. Wapato enjoyed our company, he said that nobody has been here since the last time I was up here, and he likes to spend allot of time inside the lodge, he says eagerly So eat up you two, the sun will be rising soon, we must enter the lodge before sunrise Susan is wearing a beautifully decorated dear skin dress, her eyes are so alluring they put me into a trance; I too have been change, regalia fit for a true warrior. I vaguely remember leaving the house; I still have food in my mouth, the delicious taste of fresh venison, as Wapato is bending over pulling open the draped bears hide which is a cover; to the entrance of the sweat lodge. He too is wearing ancient regalia from times quarry, of an age where we only wore clothing from which we knew belonged to those whom have lived and provided us knowledge. I follow Susan into the lodges entrance; she is holding my hand tightly. This place is so familiar, the redwoods twist upwardly, bent wood that spirals into a curved ceiling, the familiar smells of sage, and pine. Although, we are still holding each others hands, I see her about a hundred feet in front of me, her clothing has been removed, she is holding a sickle, standing in water with wings as large as ten feet high, her back has a silken smooth cloth, perfectly exposing her natural beauty. I call out to her, as I step forward; she turns around and gestures at me to be very quite, we are not alone. Then she spreads her wings and flys out of the watery earth into the void; I only see tiny little sparks, as thousands of tiny little creatures gather together, aligning themselves in cadence, resting on top of a large marble deck. I move closer into the lodge seeking a perception as to what I am, I too have shaped shifted, my body is superior then that as a mortal, I soon find myself flying closely next to Susan, her and Sandy are only inches in front of me as we land together in front of legions of friends. The sky here is pink, with darken red blots, and blacken gaseous forms, leading millions of miles away, into unknown places. The chant continues for hours, as people are slowly moving in closer to us, encircling us, the marble floors are smooth, and warm to the touch for we have no shoes on. Our wing tips brush up against each others only then do I sense a multitude of feelings, as I soon realized Sandy is here right next to me. Her face is as perfect as the first time I seen her in the Hide Away, perfectly smiling at me, she notices me, although there is a grander picture here. The Wizard has appeared, at which time all my childhood memories come together, those happy moments when I first believed that I was truly my own person. The Wizard waves his staff, pointing at Susan, she turns and points at Sandy and they both turn looking into my eyes as one. They begin to speaking in some language foreign to me, yet I know what they are saying. Tom the Joker has been able to use the powers to love, to see truth in the wickedness of the awaken souls, yes we want to marry him, us three as one, a union of souls. The Wizards staff sparks a lighten bolt into my direction, which at that time Wapato appears, instantly at my defense. Upon the realms of the society of our creed, we acknowledge this union upon the Jokerman. I step forward and begin to speak, I have been throughout the ages among many with the likes of the creed, those whom are not part of us still benefit from our believes. I take the unions that bond our kind, back with me; the crystals are already upon the table from where I have eaten last. Then for no apparent reason I snapped back into the dining room, where Sandy says, Tom, wake up, finish

cutting the steak before it gets cold Wapato stands up and says, You guys hurry up and eat, it will be mourning soon and the sun will rise, then we can enter the sweat lodge. Susan eats her food with such grace, she bites into the steak smiling in my direction, with intent on her mind, she says Tom when, and how did you get a name such as the Joker? I finish the food in my mouth and drink some wine; I look at her smiling, and begin the story. I only told one other person, Susan, you know enough about me by now to believe what I tell you, there was once another desire I had as a young man, before Sandy, and before I took the powers as a warrior. I really wanted to learned and to understand what charisma is, so everybody could be relaxed around me, I found out people are easier to befriend if you make him or her smile. For smiling brings good will, the Wizard told me this, thousands of years before I was born, and when ever I tell somebody this the say that I was joking Susan kisses my cheek and smiles, calling me The Joker. I get up swiftly batting at something flickering inside my personal space, she follows me as we walk outside looking for Wapato, and the sky is clouding up, as large blackish grey clouds move in blocking the rising sun. Mourning has crept upon us, it is so spectacular, the freshness of spring in the air, we head towards the back of the house. We call out his name, he is gone, and nowhere to be found, then a large thundercloud high above us cracks, and the rain pours down soaking Susan and me. Pounding droplets, of springs natural cathartic rinse, we are as one hugging each other enjoying the sun as it is rising far below the thunder cloud, a rainbow complements the moment. The Washington spring, brings april showers, that cleanse deeply the damages brought down from the passing winters freezing snows. I tell Susan exactly how I feel about her, and ask her if she is ready to go sweat. She smiles and says Tom lets play in the rain for little while, I love the feeling of you and me playing in the rain, I push her to the ground and make love to her while the clouds pour lifes energy unto us. Tom Chacon Aug-07-07