For In sin did my mother conceive me.

If a man commits the murder of a pregnant woman, 2 deaths have occurred not just one. Suffer the little ones to come unto me and forbid them not for of such is the kingdom of God John the baptist lept in Elizabeths womb when he came in the presence of his Savior (who was also at the time in Marys womb) Who should offend one of these little ones better were it for him that he had never been born. These little fetuses at the world would have us call them are babies, real people with real souls and the fact that we dont get to hold and play with them shouldnt matter. Yet why do we so commonly refer to the familys experience as merely a bodily function of a miscarriage (like a monthly cycle) rather than as the loss of their baby? I miscarried my baby! And my baby is as real as I am. We named our baby Paul. And he deserves to be grieved over just like any other death. Of course we cannot grieve over him in the same way we would a child we have come to know and raise outside of the womb, because we do not know himas well. Isnt it true that the better we know a person the more it hurts. And yet society today has tricked us into trying to put up a wall to the emotions we would and should feel for this child of God. They tell us things like Oh that happened to me and its very common Now I am not saying that they are not being sincere and that this isnt a valid comfort and truly most people are just struggling for knowing how to respond. It is important to know that other people have experieced the same loss; Just in the same way that 2 mothers who have each lost a teenage boy would have a natural connection. It helps to know youre not the only one. A few people have presented it as this type of comfort and as such it truly is a comfort AND that is the type of comfort it should be. But more often than not, it seems that the people who have said this to me (and there are quite a few, because truly it is a common thing to lose a child) say it as more of a casual piece of conversation and because they want me to think that it is normal and therefore its OK! But I am here to tell you that it is not OK in the sense that the world would have you think.. The only thing that makes it okay is knowing that my baby is with Christ and what could be better than your Savior being the first person you see? For everyone of you who have lost a baby to a miscarriage, or know someone who has I challenge you to speak of that baby as the loss of a baby and not just a miscarriage That baby most likely had a beating heart and tiny little toes just like the babies you see and hold. He or she has (Note that they STILL have it) a Soul and they are still a part of your family. And they derserve to be mourned or grieved over just as any other person does. And what a great ministry your grieving process can be to show people that these little ones are real babies. Did you know that in doing a genological study you have to include as a part of your family every miscarried and aborted baby? And interestingly enough that is one part that still is a whole part of truth that you learn when you go to college to be a social worker. The fact that babies are so frequently lost is not cause for us to be desensetized to it but rather it SHOULD be a cause for us as Christians to have one more avenue to minister to people and show Christs love. So its Okay to cry about the loss even if it is years later. It is important that people see that. Its okay to think about the month that that child would have been born and wonder what they talk with Jesus about everyday. It is okay to name your unborn baby and if you are so blessed (not that it will feel much like a blessing at the time) as to be able to see that baby that died. Its okay to resist the temptation to flush him or her. It is okay to pick him up and hold him. And love him and bury him just like you would a quote real baby because that is just what that baby is. So take this opportunity of such a frequent loss and realized that GOD intended this too for a purpose and for HIS good. And if you cannot find it in you to feel quite this way or speak out like this, Then maybe from now on you will at least be strong enough to refrain from talking a bout the miscarriage and simply say I lost my baby too or I am sorry you lost your baby Its okay to call this child of God a baby.

Things to address with Deanne 1. Speaking about the loss of our baby at the potluck 2. Structure of leadership- voting by the members 3. Having members while not turning anyone away. All will be welcome but in order to call ourselves a Christian Homeschool Group, we should at least have that standard of if you want to be an actual member you should have to sign the statement of faith. Thus protecting us from not knowing someones faith 4. The survey Printed out and brought to the group and mailed to those who did not come A. would you like to see more structure in the leadership (eg, have the members vote on who had what role or etc.) Yes or No and why B. Do you think it is important to have a statement of faith C. do you think that the Statement of faith should be signed by all members of the group (those who would disagree would not be excluded and would still be welcome to attend and participate) 5. I was not trying to offend Jeanne and I know that she has an automatic defense but what she said made it sound like she was just trying to find the easiest route instead of the most thorough 6. I have talked with lots of people in the group and gotten feel like many of us feel this way, but not many people are willing to voice it in a public setting at the group 7. The email I sent out on the loop 8. I am offering my help. 9. We are losing members and will lose more if things do not change This group was set up for a small number of families and never changed appropriately as it grew (maybe in part to your sickness) but you need to decide if you want to make those changes or if you are okay with it scaling back to smaller at the loss of the people whose needs are not being met and may find yourself ending up with a whole other group forming because of that?