Inside this issue:

Commanding Officers Foreword

29 AES - Featuring Wheres the 2ICs hat? 3

This edition of the Trojan Times sees the Regiment entering December, the third month of our 6 month deployment. Thankfully it has continued to go extremely fast, with the guys still deployed all over the Province supporting the Combined Forces in a variety of tasks from directly engaging with the Taliban to producing infrastructure from which to live and fight from. It has also been a busy week for visits in both Helmand and Paderborn, with each location hosting a series of important personalities. Firstly, in Afghanistan we looked after the Engineer-In-Chief (Army), Brigadier Iain James and the Commander of 8 Force Engineer Brigade, Brigadier Ivan Jones. Both are influential in the Royal Engineers and have a deep interest in our activity in Helmand. All Squadrons and Departments showed off their capability, experiences and plans for the coming few months. Suffice to say, both senior officers were hugely impressed with everyone and everything they saw. They have also kindly agreed to attend our Medals Parade in March 2012 alongside other senior officers to welcome the Regiment back to Paderborn. Remaining with Paderborn, the Chief of the General Staff, General Sir Peter Wall and the Adjutant General, Lieutenant General Mark Manns visited the Rear Ops Group and more importantly, the wives and families of those who are deployed. Such visits are key to highlighting the importance of welfare and how a Regiment functions when deployed abroad. Both the CGS and AG were humbled by the tenacity, forbearance and good humour of everyone they met. I know personally how much the CGS values the support of wives and families and I have no doubt that the visit will have had made a huge impression on him. He was particularly taken by Bridges, and asked me to pass on his personal thanks to those that made the visit so informative and enjoyable. Lastly, the Chief of Defence Staff, General Sir David Richards visited Maj Chris Darke and Captain Stu Macpherson at our extensive Resources Park which has been the focus of much attention recently due to its size; we have the largest logistical footprint within Camp Bastion with far more varied equipment than any other part of the Task Force. Chris and Stu can actually make logistics sound exciting, which (for those that know me and my tolerance for such boring stuff) is a worthy accolade indeed. The Quartermaster Department have yet to let anyone down; they work long hours to ensure any task no matter where it is, is supported by the right stuff at the right time. Following the busy visits in Afghanistan the Regiment had hosted another milestone the confirmatory recce for Op HERRICK 16, which starts in March. It was great to see our successors and talk so enthusiastically about us leaving Afghan next spring. The small recce team, led by the Commanding Officer of 26 Engineer Regiment, visited us to help him to understand the type of operation they will take forward next year when we leave. They are now four months from deploying. To put it into perspective, when we were about to go on Easter leave and 77 (Talisman) Squadron were going to Jordan, which only seems like yesterday that is where 26 Engineer Regiment are now with their predeployment training. Time is thankfully going so quickly.
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37 AES - The most handsome Troop in the Regiment?

44 HQ & SP SQN find out exactly what is going on in this picture

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77 Talisman Sqn and the crisis of mass donut eating

24

11 Field Sqn A job well done

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40 Win the new Regimental camera More from the Toejam 45 Times

Issue 9 01 December 2011

During the recce of 26 Engineer Regiment I was able to visit a number of bases within the Nahr-e Saraj district, the northern part of the area in which we operate. Despite being dislocated across a series of austere bases, the elements of 37 Armoured Engineer Squadron was in good health and, as ever, doing really well. Elsewhere, I was able to visit the Brigade Advisory Group based in a small outstation alongside the Afghan National Army counterparts they mentor. Led by Major Steve White (the Afghan Bear), this small band of brothers have had a roller-coaster ride of success, frustration, set backs and unpredictability. Seeing Sgts Cross and Knox doing so well despite the most basic living conditions and fragile Afghan Army resupply chain is pretty humbling. The BAG Engr Training Team has the most demanding and testing role from across the Regiment they, like the various Squadron Echelons from across the Engineer Group, are the unsung heroes that are making our deployment go so well. Lastly, thank you all for your continued support to us out here; we are starting to get loads of welfare parcels with a Christmas theme arriving on a daily basis the RSMs office is already full of goodies for the soldiers. The RSM and I are putting in place a plan for the two of us to visit every soldier, no matter their location, to ensure they receive Christmas presents on the days leading up to and including Christmas Day. Coupled with your messages of support on our Facebook site, we are working in the comfort that our efforts are being appreciated by everyone in Paderborn, Aldergrove, Hameln and the wider Regimental family in the UK. Thank you. Lieutenant Colonel Kev Copsey - Commanding Officer

From the left; OC 37 Sqn; OC TALISMAN Sqn; Me; OC 44 HQ&Sp Sqn; OC BAG; OC 29 Sqn

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29 Armoured Engineer Squadron

Officer Commandings Foreword
Hello A combination of IT glitches and the OC trying to retake the lead in the Majors Air Miles Race has left me to write this weeks introduction to the 29 Squadron section of the Trojan Times. Apologies to those expecting flowing prose and bad jokes but I will promise to keep it short. The first people, who were lucky or not, to have an early R&R have returned from R&R in the last two weeks and the stories of their adventures have raised morale just a little but also brought R&R closer for everyone else I have just passed half way to my own! The start of the festive season has seen the arrival of parcels and decorations to help us brighten up the living and office tents but do not fear, they wont be put up just yet. It does not feel like December with the temperature still above 20c and no sign of the promised rain never mind snow. Stories this week come from 6 Tp who have just spent 3 weeks repairing culverts ready for winter and 5 Tp who also repaired culverts but in the background provided advice to the Afghan Police on a Check Point build and moved a helicopter landing site to allow a school build to commence. Finally, the Sqn has been bolstered by the arrival of LCpl Hodsall and LCpl Wollacott they have completed their RSOI and the newbies are currently settling into their new Tps. Thank you for your continued support and look forward to the next issue which will bring the full build up to Christmas Day in Afghanistan and Christmas messages. Kev Cameron - Sqn 2IC

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Life on (Route) Mars

By SSgt Warren-Nichols, 6 Tp
Is there life on Mars? This is one of the questions that has always been asked......luckily, 6 Tp were given a chance to boldly try and find out. We were tasked with going to Mars (Route Mars!), which is fortunately not a million miles away but conveniently runs past the front gate of PB Nahidullah, and repair 18 damaged culverts. This would allow the only tarmac road linking the two main cities of Helmand province Lashkar Gah in the south west and Gereshk in the north east - to be handed over to the vaguely named Ministry of Interior. Built during Op HERRICK 13, it was clear from looking at the details of the reconnaissance report that an eclectic (Ed Staff used that word himself honest!) mix of culverts would need repair, most of the damage caused by the local driving skills. The reconnaissance was conducted and a plan was conceived, the construction was going to be completed in three stages. Stage 1 was to repair any culvert that had become blocked and endangered the local population or the integrity of the road by flooding. Stage 2 was to repair any culvert where the road was degrading and stage 3 was to put head walls on culverts that were missing them. 6 Troop were given a period of 25 days to finish the task and hand the road over in time for winter. On the 5 Nov 11 we started the task. Cpl Tucker leading his section with LCpl Hill as his 2IC and I was there to provide command and control. During the first phase there were plenty of wet feet as culverts were unblocked with a good old fashioned shovel Royal Engineer (RE). Spr Shaw and Spr Bale were seen waist deep trying to extend a culvert, much to the amusement of the locals, who are very good at watching but not so keen to help.

Digging for gold.

The piece of equipment that helped us enormously was the Self Loading Dump Truck (Protected), (SLDT (P)) which did a good job of filling Hesco and would draw a large audience to watch its performance...the Local Nationals thought it looked like something from outer space! I think it was mainly due to the road being blocked and the locals would get out of their cars and have a look, this was a good chance to talk to some of the locals that lived on Mars. They were extremely happy and grateful for the repair work we completed on the road and they looked in amazement at LCpl Issacs magic touch. Sometimes we got the feeling that we were in the way, and that they would like to move on with things (but thats progress!)

Do you like my boots?

Culverts were repaired in good time, the OC and SSM came for a visit and both helped out! Spr Johnson could always be found on his Wolfhound looking after the stores, Spr Robson was found in the thick of the action always with a shovel at the ready for the next task. The last day was extending a culvert that was dangerous for the Mastiffs to cross, the water was waist deep and fast flowing, the sight of six Sappers led by Spr Dunning and Spr Crowther bouncing on a black plastic pipe to try and get it into the existing culvert was priceless! Needless to say it didnt quite go in far enough and

It has got to be time to swap?

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The task was completed in 14 days and ran very smoothly, all the troop had a role to play on the task and it is good to see that everyone is working well on the tasks they are given. Route Mars is now one step closer to being handed over to the Ministry of Interior sometime in the near future. As for life on Mars.........there were lots of things to see, such as freshwater crabs, frogs, snakes and lots of domestic animals that walked past us without a care in the world, except one, the camels. The camels seemed dubious of us at the best of times and were scared away when the SLDT was working. At last a gems idea worth some money! Camel herding using the SLDT(P) I wonder if the Arabs would be interested?........Ill keep you posted.

Keep up the good work.

The locals take an interest in the task

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Check Point JEKER

Cpl Morrison, 5 Tp
In a quick fire change of priorities that we are getting used to, 14 Section was tasked with relocating the Helicopter Landing Site (HLS) at Check Point (CP) JEKER and upgrading the front gate sangar to go along with it. CP JEKER is a located to the south west of Patrol Base 2 and it is tiny! Its a squeeze to fit in the resident infantry company let alone nine massive engineers and their egos. Arriving just in time for lunch we were treated to an amazing lunch from a cookhouse that was very quickly to become our favourite so far in the tour. However between the great meals there was some work to do. The current HLS is located on government land on which a school is going to be built so we had been tasked to move it. 14 Section had a tight timeline with the schools construction due to start on the 25 Nov. We began to level the field for the new HLS; however a farmer in his tractor was still plowing the field. The local Afghanistan national on the tractor soon realised the futility of trying to plow a field that was being leveled by two Medium Wheeled Tractors, (MWT) and gave up. In true Afghanistan fashion, within 30 minutes the local Military Stabalisation and Support Team (MSST) was soon very busy at the front A friendly local gate of the CP as 7 men who claimed to own boy has his the field plus the tractor operator were now photo taken trying to claim compensation. Luckily the MSST dealt with the situation and this enabled us to carry on with the construction of the HLS with no further issues. We even had a little help from the local children, with Spr Dave Rodgers coaxing them on as Spr Zed Zallman passed out his sweets to say thanks as the children helped roll out terram. This is a fabric made of a membrane construction and is used as a barrier to stop aggregate from going into the soil. With the HLS completed it was necessary to raise the front gate sangar to increase the view over the new HLS and bring it into specification but not before a Chinook tried to landed on our new HLS. Luckily the pilot realised just in time that it had not been officially opened! After a few late nights, the infantry company had a lovely new sangar to go with their new HLS and it proved very popular. Unfortunately during the construction the local children worked out that they were able to get close enough to attempt to borrow some of the drainage pipes. They were foiled in their attempts due to the eagle eyes of Spr Ash Knights. As we were driving back into the CP in the early hours of the morning, he spotted them trying to run away with the pipes. The children realised they had been caught, coyly they dropped the pipes, attempted to look innocent and made a mad dash for it. Our work finished just in time for the curry night. LCpl Big Bear Potts was especially pleased about this, announcing that was an excellent meal, feast for a King. This task was more enjoyable than previous tasks due to the fact that we were doing something to help the local community. Hopefully the new build of the school will keep the locals employed and the children occupied and not trying to run off with the pipes! The finished product
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CP KHASAB
LCpl Scotty Too Hotty Syratt, 5 Tp
On 15 Nov, Spr Mathieson and I attached ourselves to the a patrol to move to Patrol Base 4. The task that we were about to start was to advise the Afghanistan Uniformed Police (AUP) on how to build 2 wooden sangars to aid in the force protection of CP KHASAB, a new Afghan Police check point (CP). We left on foot for the CP early on the 16 Nov. The 2 km patrol took just over 45 minutes but as we moved along the route it was clear from the atmospherics and disturbed ground that something wasnt quite right so the patrol moved off the obvious track to avoid stepping on anything we shouldnt. The Afghan locals also didnt use the track to our left and opted to use the cross country route across the cropped fields a fairly good indication that something isnt right. Once at CP KHASAB we got to work straight away and checked off the stores which came in on an under-slung load from a helicopter. As expected, the stores didnt quite match the list given, so during the task we would have to come up with a combat engineer solution.

Always time for a photo

We expected 40 AUP to turn up and build the Sangars under the direction of myself and Spr Mathieson. Surprisingly around 40 AUP did turn up, however, only a handful decided they were there to work. The task began reasonably well, with a few of the AUP getting hands on the tools and hammering in at least one or two nails before disappearing. The Interpreters seemed to know the same Houdini disappearing act as most of the AUP did, it was near impossible to find one when needed. It became clear that to complete this task, Spr Mathieson and I would have to take a greater lead. So we decided to do the bulk of the work on the first sangar to show the AUP what to do and to take a back seat on the second build. It didnt help that the one chain saw we had been Working hard together promised that they would bring didnt materialise! So we ended up doing all of the cutting with our own chainsaws instead. This however was not an unexpected turn of events and we were glad we brought them. The Sangars were wooden framed, elevated platforms. The larger of the two sat level with the compound wall, as the AUP commander requested it to be as high as safely possible to provide better arcs to the North/East, where they thought their main threat was from. The first sangar was built by 1400 hrs and although not the most award winning piece of architecture ever was solid and did what it is expected to do. Not bad considering we had just 8 x 8 timber and plywood to work with. The second sangar, barring the wood cutting and a bit of guidance where needed, was completed by the AUP by last light. Standing proud - job done
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Where is the 2ICs hat this week?

The 2ICs hat has been out and about this week and came across this fine looking gentleman. Have any of you seen the hat on your travels? Do you know where this is? Answers as always on a stamped self address envelope to SSgt Snell. A Mars bar could be up for grabs!

No animals were hurt in the production of this article!!

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37 Armoured Engineer Squadron

Officer Commandings Foreword
A great couple of weeks that have seen the first operational deployment of a new piece of engineer kit - known as ABACOT (more of which below). A lot of work has gone in to getting this off the ground from across the Squadron - a good job done by all. All our tasks are progressing well and it is good to see R&R now in full swing, although the Iron Man competition - the 'gateway' to R&R is proving to be a cheekier than most people were expecting. You will see from the articles below just how much we are up to - from maintaining bases, to building new ones, to blowing stuff up and supporting our infantry counterparts in some challenging circumstances. We have built an excellent reputation with those we support and all of us, both those deployed here and those at home, should be suitably proud. Remembrance is always a sobering time for us - the chance to reflect on the sacrifices of our predecessors and those serving with us now. In this 150th Anniversary Year of 37 Armoured Engineer Squadron it is humbling to serve with Officers and Soldiers who continue to live out the very highest traditions of military service and also of this Squadron. But we could not deliver all that we do without your continued support at home - and I realise that this stretch up to Christmas will be equally challenging for you as well. But, the New Year is now within reach and with the first visit of those deploying after us this week, the end of the tour suddenly does not seem so far away. I wish you all the very best in the run up to Christmas and please remember to get your parcels in for posting by the 2nd December and make sure they are marked up as 'Personal For' so they can be recognised as individual mail and not part of the many general parcels we receive. Take care of yourselves. Guy Boxall

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Highlights of my tour so far in 7 Troop

Spr Taylor
Well another two weeks into the tour and two weeks closer to going on R&R for a well deserved pint (or ten). As you may or may not be able to tell Im a Territorial Army Soldier and when I am not out here I work for the Spar chain as a HGV driver. I have been told I must change my company and become an Eddie Stobbart driver. I wont name names but some of the sappers here are Eddie Spotters. (Staff Scott and Spr Balfe) As a driver in my civilian job I was a natural choice to be a Husky vehicle driver for the Troop. Unfortunately the air conditioning in my vehicle decided that it was bored and would spice things up by spontaneously breaking. On a long task its no longer a vehicle but becomes a portable sauna, at least we will all lose some weight. I have had a busy time here in 7 Troop. During a recent road upgrade we stopped with the Danish at their patrol base for 7 days which was very nice at the time. I even got coerced into the gym, a rarity for me! A highlight of that task was when a local contractors tipper truck ended up with his cab in the air as he hadnt undone the locks to release the stone on to the ground!

Working hard with a smile

On another task we upgraded a Danish camp that was due to be handed over to the Afghan National Army. On the task we had to bridge an irrigation ditch for the light wheeled tractor to get to the wall that needed removing. Spr Whittaker decided to stand in the ditch and spent the rest of the week with an unpleasant smell coming off his boots. Now that he is back in camp his boots are still airing outside and not allowed to come back into our tent. A task up at Patrol Base Hazrat (another Danish camp) was a good one, we were tasked with building a cookhouse for which the Danes were extremely grateful. Although I did get the feeling the Danish were glad to see us leave as Spr Pangop was tasked by his belly to eat as much as he could, I think they regret giving him a free run in the fridges. We have had a competitive volleyball competition between team USN (a nutritional drink) and team Regal (the cigarette brand), team USN consisted of me, Cpl Doran-Thorp (Maverick) and Lance Corporal Ferguson (Goose). Team Regal consisted of Spr Lear and the Eddie Spotters Spr Balfe and Staff Scott. After a hard fought few games we, team USN, came out on top with an outstanding victory and a lot of smoking done by team Regal. Cpl Doran-Thorp has been reading a book called Train Like A Spartan and yes you guessed it I have been some how enrolled into this as well with Goose (Lance Corporal Ferguson). To say that it is hacking is an understatement. I must say a big thank you to Staff Sergeant I want to be a lorry driver Scott and Lieutenant Cole for the BBQ they arranged for the Troop. Unfortunately the lager that we had to accompany our burgers and bratwurst was of the non alcoholic variety. I look forward to having a proper beer with everyone when we return.

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Wall no more!
Sgt Robson 7 Troop
D Company 1st Battalion The Yorkshire Regiment deployed on a deliberate Operation to clear a road known as IED alley within the Khar Nikah area. The Operation involved the removal of a stretch of wall which would allow better fields of view from the nearby checkpoint. To that end Sgt Robson was dispatched to the Company to offer his Engineering expertise and to come up with a plan to destroy the wall. Due to time being short before the Operation commencing Sgt Robson calculated that 21 bar mines would do the trick of dropping said wall (and hopefully not leave much rubble to clear up) and demanded the required demolition stores through, by far the hardest working (allegedly) SSgt in the British Army (SSgt Dickie G4 doesnt just happen Page). However when Sgt Robson managed to get on a patrol to see the area with his own eyes the section of wall that would need to be removed was nearly double what was first expected (there was a kink in the wall that couldnt be seen from the angle of the imagery available). After some Carol Vorderman style mathematics and re-calculations Sgt Robson estimated the wall would still fall but a lot more rubble would need to be moved (2 x sledge hammers and an angry little Recce Sgt were on stand by just in case bits were still standing). On the morning of the operation, Sgt Robson, Spr Thompson, and 4 Assault Pioneers from D Coy 1 Yorks moved to the nearby checkpoint and conducted final preparation. The infantry positioned a cordon and moved all civilians out of the danger area ready for the fireworks to begin. Once the cordon was in position to provide protection and the alley had been searched thoroughly. Sgt Robson and his demolition team deployed from the checkpoint to place the charges. The lads were placing charges against the wall like men possessed and in no time at all the charges were in position. Once every thing was set Sgt Robson checked that everything was in order (made a couple of minor adjustments) and informed the Infantry Company that the demolition was set and moved the rest of the demolition team back a safe distance. After a final check confirmation was given, Sgt Robson got on his belly behind a wall (and realised that he wasnt much lower to the ground than when he was standing up). He then gave the 30 second countdown on the radio. It would have sounded like he was preparing to launch a space shuttle were he not giggling like a child that had just tied his sisters shoe laces together. Finally the countdown completed he fired the charges resulting in an explosion so large that it was heard by the rest of the Troop some 20km away. It was now time to inspect the results (I wasnt worried 1 little bit, honest! The wall was now rubble spread over a large area leaving very little work for the angry man wielding two sledge hammers to complete the job. After a couple of photos were taken, we all moved back to camp with the Infantry for tea and medals.
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Getting ready to blow the wall

PB RAHIM 8 Troop - SSgt Norman

We are working at PB Rahim at the moment looking after everything from ensuring the operations room has power, the gym has lighting and the showers are piping hot at all times. Life at PB Rahim is pretty steady making sure everything is sorted out. Trying to explain electricity to infantry men is like trying to explain algebra to a 5 year old. We have been based here for 3 months now and have become part of the infantry company; after winning the first official quiz night held at PB Rahim (this was like taking candy from a baby). Unfortunately the second quiz night did not go so well as all the questions were on Yorkshire! (Crafty infantry devils) Christmas is fast approaching which means we have built a Christmas tree out of Hesco and a stage for the comedy acts who will be visiting to cheer everyone up.

There is always time for a game..or two

Now well into R and R, the Troop are still working with the Danes down at PB Clifton. Cpl "Coops" Coopers section is leading the way. This mainly involves getting up early, working dawn till dusk, filling HESCO, stripping out broken stuff and then building it back up to the 37 standard. Even though the Troop is still split, moral is high and we are looking forward to the second half of tour. However we are obviously still missing our friends and family especially with the festive season fast approaching. Stay safe San Diego.

Morale is high and there is even time for a rest in the sun

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Remembrance Day
Lt Abbott - 8 Troop
Remembrance Day for 8 Troop was a rather disjointed affair due to the nature of the tasks that the Troop is currently completing at present. On Friday the 11th Cpl Simpson's section were hard at work down at PB Clifton and held a minutes silence with a few chosen men. Cpl Coopers section was unfortunately stuck at PB Rahim where the infantry company were out on an operation in the morning, which I somehow managed to find myself on. It was one of the more surreal remembrance days as I found myself sat in a wadi at 1100am with the infantry sergeant major. The operation was in full flow, involving attack helicopters, mortars, Royal Engineer divers and a dislocated shoulder. Making it one of the more eventful days I have had in my time out here. It was the British Army in full flow involving all parts, in no way disrespecting the minutes silence but carrying on with operations as unfortunately the insurgents do not stop. Remembrance Sunday came around and once again the band of chosen men down at PB Clifton held their own remembrance service. B Company the Yorkshire Regiment based at PB Rahim held a service of remembrance at sundown on the Sunday. After a busy day on operations the company gathered around the memorial in the centre of camp to pay their respects. The memorial bearing the words "Brothers in arms, never forgotten" summed up the mood of the company after recently losing a member of their Regiment. The national anthem was sung with all the pomp and verve it warrants and a minutes silent was held to remember the glorious dead. The troop have had a good start to their tour and privileged to join a long list of men and women who have served and fought for their country. Myself and the other first timers have learnt a lot from the more experienced members of the Squadron especially SSgt Norman who has been on more tours than I have fed holidays! Morale is still high as we move on into the R&R months slowly losing men with huge smiles on their faces and getting guys back fully rejuvenated and ready to go again...! The next land mark we are looking forward to is Christmas which will no doubt bring with it festive cheer and another new year.

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Another week for 9 Troop

(the most handsome Troop in the Regiment, according to the author!) Spr Cuffe
Two months in and the work has finally started to slow down. With only one section out on task at any one time, the remaining section continuing work within the base we have been able to enjoy the Engineer welfare area that the Search Team lads built a few weeks ago. As well as building a fabulous double bed for himself, Spr The Foot Mitchell has fashioned a Troop table tennis table which has led to an inter-section competition (sometimes open to members of other troops when they visit only if they qualify!). The league is currently led by Spr Scouse Dawson; the selfproclaimed table tennis legend who is taking on all challenges and continues to smash poor Spr Lucky Luxford repeatedly, much to our amusement. The Foot, having created the table tennis table on his own, is sadly banned after a cavalier attitude towards sportsmanship and being an ungracious loser. Operation Jangle Engineer 2 was the main focus in the last few weeks, with additional lads from the Squadron coming up to visit Spr Ashby as a chainsaw operator with his very own kind of morale. Despite all this activity, the men from 9 Troop managed to fit in a road trip to Camp Bastion for stores, and caught up with some of the lads who are based there. This was capped with a trip to the new American PX store to investigate the shopping opportunities, before stopping in MOB Price to sample the growing legend of its food, pastries and 6 ft 4 blond Danes. Soon some of the Armoured lads who have lived there are going to be swapped and move up to our camp were worried about how theyll survive without cake and ice-cream everyday for dessert

The most handsome Troop in 35 Engineer Regiment? I dont know about that but one thing is for sure, some of you need a good hair cut before the RSM sees you!

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9 Troop test new equipment on Operation Jangle Engineer

Cpl Roberts
9 Troops task on Operation Jangle Engineer was to clear the view over a ditch running along the main road through our area so that infantry patrols could get a better view of any enemy activity. This involved removing sections of local wall and cutting back trees and bushes. The whole section of road was over two kilometres in length. Day one started well, with Cpl Shaun Anderson zipping around in his Bobcat (mini bulldozer/digger), he could only be described as a mad kid in a bumper car at the fairground. He was followed up by Sapper Denzel Washington in the plant machinery to clear up any debris. This was the general pattern for the rest of the day, and by nightfall we had finished ahead of schedule thats how 9 Troop roll! Day two started similar to the first, however as we moved further south the route required the removal of thick trees and bushes enter Abacot.

The new kit being watched by the locals

This was an ideal opportunity to use a new piece of equipment for the first time, and it did not fail us. Commanded by Sgt Fraz Weatherston and operated by Sappers Wayne Pascoe, Pistol Pete Broxton and Evo Evans, the Abacot cut away everything in its path. Locals were particularly happy as it provided them with firewood and timber for their homes. By the end of day two, we had cleared all of the walls and protruding bushes and were able to test the Abacots' ability to deconstruct walls it ate the wall up like LCpl Tom Monaghan would after a day on rations! The operation overall was a success. Under the watchful eye of our Danish friends on the high ground, along with Lt Alex Dow, Operation Jangle Engineer was wrapped up a day earlier than expected. The route will now be a safer place and the local population will be more secure. From our perspective, the Abacot has now given the Engineers a proven remote capability to keep guys off the ground and has an exciting future in forthcoming operations. Making light of hard work

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Life in the G4 World, Weeks 10-12 ..The Land of Oz

Again the Echelon department is going to be referred to as the Land of Oz complete with characters as its a place full of magic and wonder! Lets introduce you to the main players,

Santas wish list

Capt Monaghan (The Wizardnot because he is a fountain of knowledge but because he looks like Simon Whitlock the Darts professional minus the beard). SSgt Page (Cowardly Lionnot because he is full of bravery but because he is scared of PT). SSgt Anderson (Tin Manplain and simple the man has no heart). SSgt McDermott (Tick TockBecause he is a soldier and lags as the day goes on and has to be wound up just after lunch to make it through the day). Cpl Robertson (The Rock King..because he is a fossil). Cpl Rai (Wicked WitchHated because of the Iron Man Competition). Cpl Suksiri (Dorothy.because he lives in his own little world).

The Wizard wants a swear box. The Caowardly lion wants a new pillow. Tick Tock wants some more printer ink. The Wicked Witch wants a box of Cornflakes.

The Wizards Top Tips

Do not let the Wizard near a Quad Bike. Never read the small print on a white board. Do not stray from the chosen path. Do not get caught stealing cereal at four in the morning. Filtered coffee is better than in-

LCpl Gardiner (TotoBecause he follows Cpl Suksiri everywhere). Spr Talbot (Scarecrow.He is lacking in the upstairs department). The journey along the Yellow Brick Road continues in the normal fashion with ups, downs and roundabouts. The Cowardly Lion has been putting the hours in and his day consists of visiting 3 areas, his desk, the cookhouse and his bed. The Wizard can be found in a state of shock most days and is in serious need of a swear box! The Tin Man has been putting these hours in toobut not in work, in the Gym where he spends most of his time. Tick Tock has had a new computer terminal which is a blessing but he hates other people using it. The Scarecrow has been extremely busy boring people with stories that mean nothing and Dorothy has gone home leaving Toto holding the fort.

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Totos take on Bastion Life Working here in Bastion is a little bit different than my job as a Section 2ic in FOB Ouellette, I spend most of my time looking for Dorothy but he/she is nowhere to be found so I am left to tidy up his/her mess. In doing this I have realised that most of the paperwork I have been chasing is actually my own that I sent back from Ouellette so I only have myself to blame!! I need this squaring away as its nearly everyones favourite time of the yearno not Christmas but Inspection time where every man and his dog comes to inspect the hard work we have put in, but they always seem to find something thats not rightI think we should set the Wicked Witch on them.

HESCO hoping in some spare time

The Rock King has chewed his way through Mars bar after Mars bar washed down with the odd Kit Kat so he is doing fine. I spend a lot of time sitting in my wooden box of an office which makes my head melt .Hmmm melting now that brings back some haunting memories. Well thats it from me for the moment all I can say is Im looking forward to getting back to 9 troop for Christmas and all the lovely presents I received I hope I get a big juicy bone!!. Spr Sealys take on life in the G4 world Hello readers, its finally nice to voice my opinion on life in the QMs dept. Life in this world is a constant battle that goes unsung as nobody sees how much work goes on behind the scenes to keep things ticking over. I work with an excellent team of individuals ranging from Sapper to Captain who each have an important role in the machine that keeps the Squadron functioning. Being my first operational tour I did not know what to expect and all the training and briefings beforehand only really scratched the surface of life out here. The work is constantly at a fast pace and times to sit down and chill out are few and far between, moral can sometimes be low but banter from SSgt McDermott, SQMS or some random Chilling out conversation you cannot resist joining into with a brew that makes you laugh until your eyes water raises the spirits again. I must say its a privilege to work and be a part of this team, we have a full range of cultures, ethnicities and characters and if a problem arises we all put our heads together and get the job done. Well thats me so I'll end on one of Capt Monaghans ice breakers when times are stressful Lets all calm down and have a nice cup of tea.
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60 Seconds with.... SSgt Tony McDermott SSgt McDermott joined the Royal Engineers in 1995 and on completion of Basic and Trade training he was posted to Tidworth in Wiltshire. He was then posted to Military Works Force in Chillwell as a JNCO. From here he was selected for and posted to ATR Lichfield as a Phase 1 Instructor where he trained new recruits His last post before 35 was to Hameln with 65 Field Support Squadron where he attained selection for promotion to SSgt which saw him subsequently employed with 37 Armoured Engineer Squadron within 35 Engineer Regiment. What Sports do you play? Football. What is your earliest sporting memory? Watching Aston Villa v Crystal Palace aged 10. Do you have a favourite piece of sporting memorabilia? Army Cup Winners medal with ATR Lichfield. What was the last CD you bought? Cant remember. When was your last music download? August 101 running songs! What's the best posting you have had? ATR Lichfield as an Instructor. What is your favourite TV show? Match of the Day. What is your favourite film? The Running Man. What is the best book you have read? 101 Stupid Jokes. Eastenders or Coronation Street? Corry. What make of car do you drive? Vauxhall. Formula 1 motor racing or MOTO GP? Formula 1. What was the best piece of advice you have ever received? Do what you want to do. What is your earliest military memory? Sgt Gus Petts thrashing me in Basic Training Away from the military what ambition do you have? Be successful Do you have any nicknames? Tomato Head. What's the best piece of military kit there is? Sleeping Bag. How much was your last months mobile bill? 15. Is there anyone outside of the military whom you really admire? Lucy Pinder. Do you have any hobbies? Ironing, honestly it's therapeutic. What food do you miss most whilst on operations? Doner Kebab. What is your favourite meal? Steak dinner. What is your biggest achievement to date? Attaining rank of SSgt. If your house was on fire, what one item would you grab as you rushed out? Wallet. What type of running shoes do you wear? UK Gear PT-03. Jordan or Jodie Marsh? Jordan. If I gave you 1000 today what would you spend it on? Take my family away for the weekend. Do you know anyone famous? No. What is the most expensive bottle of wine you have bought? 7, the cheapest one on the menu.
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Tick Tock....

44 HQ & SP SQN NEWS

Officer Commanding Foreword

Hello to all the families and friends of personnel that make up the HQ & Sp Sqn. This week both the Engr Gp and Sqn have been very popular with numerous visits from some very influential people visiting from the UK. The visits have been a focal point within the Sqn however they have not been allowed to detract from the important day to day business of our priority tasks in supporting the wider Engr Gp. The first of the visits was from the Engineer in Chief (Army) Brigadier James and Commander 8 Force Engineer Brigade, Brigadier Jones. Both individuals commented on how they had enjoyed their time with the Sqn especially having time to talk to a varied cross section of individuals from the HQ & Sp Sqn. The second visit was from The Chief of the Defence Staff (Head of the British Armed Forces) General Richards, who visited the Engr Res Node to be briefed on the fantastic work they are doing in support to the tasks being completed by the Engr Gp. So a very proud moment for both the Sqn and the Engr Gp for the acknowledgment of their hard work in support of wider operations being conducted in Afghanistan. The enduring visit over the last week was from the CO and QM(T) of 26 Engr Engr Regt who have come out to visit the Engr Gp and sub units prior to their deployment next year. This visit acts as a significant milestone in our tour and as such proved to be a morale boost for all personnel. With Christmas fast approaching parcels and decorations are making there way through the postal system to reach the guys in time for the festive season, and already the odd mini Christmas trees are going up in offices. It will be difficult being away from family and loved ones over the Christmas period but with your continued support and encouragement the guys and girls will get through it and if anything enjoy themselves as best they can over the Festive period. Keep up the good work back there and always remember we are all thinking of you all, and we look forward to seeing you on R & R, till next time take care. Chris Darke

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THE DANCON MARCH 2011

Cpl M Davis, 44 Hq & Sp Sqn
Normally, when you have the radio on in the background, it just provides a pleasant distraction and helps relive the boredom of a slightly tedious task. I did say normally. This was not the case on Monday 31 st October 2011. On the day in question I was quietly working away in my ECM store, with a little background music to keep me company, when an announcement came on for the DanCon Marches taking place on the following Sunday. All that I picked up on was Danish Marches, 25 Km, Sunday and Medal. What I failed to register was start at 07:00, Sunday, and that you needed to carry 10KG plus water. With much enthusiasm I set about trying to drum up some company for this little jaunt and Spr Paddy Crozier was quick to agree. It was at this point that a pattern started to emerge, with replies such as You must be joking!, Are you mad? and On a Sunday! being some of the printable answers I received. However, by the end of the day I had a team. It consisted of myself, Paddy and Cpl Cheese LongMelton. Where could I go wrong? Before we knew it, it was Saturday evening and we needed to prepare. Daysacks needed to be filled to the correct weight and Camel Backs filled with water, feet had to be taped and the duty driver booked to get us to the start on time. Also Cheese had to be found as he was working late! He finally arrived back at the accommodation with a phrase I didnt want to hear. Sorry mate but i have to work in the morning so I wont be able to come with you. The most disturbing part of this sentence was the big smile he had on his face, if it was a text it would have been followed by LOL. Undaunted by this Paddy and I continued our prep for the next day. The morning arrived all too quickly and it suddenly hit home what I was letting myself in for and it didnt feel like such a good idea anymore. The tape had come off my feet in the night and my daysack suddenly seemed to weigh twice as much. After a quick check to make sure that no little extras had been added to my daysack, and with the addition of a fully charged i-pod and speakers, Paddy and I headed off for a quick breakfast before arriving at the Danish Camp. Whilst waiting for the start we bumped into Spr Jim Owen from 11 Field Squadron and he eagerly joined us. At 07:00 the most patriotic costume was put to the public vote and was won by a team from the RAF Fire Service who were going to complete the march in full fire fighting kit including breathing apparatus. They narrowly beat very good Captain America and Statue of Liberty costumes which did upset the US contingent just a little, although the multitude of Stars and Stripes soon had then cheering again. It was now 07:04 and, with our hosts good wishes ringing in our ears, the tape was cut and the marc began. The course consisted of two laps around the internal perimeter of Camp Bastion 0,1 2 & 3 and Camp Leatherneck, the American camp over the road. Unbelievably some crazy fools were running the 25 Km so we let them disappear into the distance while we set ourselves a slightly more sedate and steady pace. To start with everyones morale was at silly levels, this lead to people running up sandbanks, pretending to plant flags on mountain tops and other jovial actions. It wasnt long before most people realised just how far we had to go and these pastimes died out. After about half an hour we developed a new game to keep us going. It was very simple and took advantage of our American cousins and their love for music. The idea was to catch up with and American group who had music blaring out and stay with them until their music taste got that bad we couldnt bear it any more. At this point we would push forward until we found the next group.

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This game kept us going for most of the first lap but did have one big drawback. Country and Western Music, which quite a lot of Americans seem to enjoy. Before long we arrived at the 8Km point which also doubled as a water stop and had free Coke, Sprite and chocolate bars thanks to the organisers. We grabbed a quick sugar rush and pushed on back to Bastion 2 and the end of the first lap. Passing through the start finish line a new spring appeared in our step and we were all feeling pretty good, also knowing what lay ahead made things a little easier. With a lack of American music to listen to I decided to power up my i-pod and speakers. As this meant delving into my daysack I ran ahead about 50m to give me time until the others caught up, sorted out my i-pod, and soon had tunes blaring out from just behind my head. Unfortunately 50m had not been far enough and I ended up running another 50 just to catch up again. The second water point was soon passed and the miles continued to disappear under our boots. It was at about the 13 mile point that we all suddenly began to feel it. Legs started to tighten up, feet developed hot spots and backs started to ache. Luckily the third and final water stop came into view along with the Tarmac. Having a nice firm surface to walk on lifted our flagging spirits and it wasnt long before we started flying past more of our fellow marchers. We now knew exactly how far we had left to go and we could start counting down the corners to the finish line. With 1 Km left we had a final burst of Sapper Power and crossed the finish line in a time of 4 hours and 13 minutes. Not bad considering we had done no training and had only put our names done 5 days earlier. All that was left to do was collect our medals and head back for a well earned shower. This proved to be harder than expected as, by the time we got back to camp, our legs had almost seized solid and walking became a major effort.

Did we enjoy it?.....................Ask us in a few days time.

Would we do it again?...........Definitely!

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ENGR LOG PARK

By Spr Underhill
Two months into the tour, and although work never seems to settle down and give us all a break, life in Camp 124 has become home away from home. With the new and improved gym, which boasts to be the best gym in Bastion, and improvements to the welfare area, 44 HQ & Sp Sqn has made its mark. I am 44 squadrons rep attached to 65 Fld Sp Sqn who have the huge responsibility of running the Engineer resources yard. I am part of a three man Fitter Section, now commonly referred to as the chimps with the job of waiting for the kit to come off the ground, which has seen better days, recondition and put back into the system ready to be issued back out to the field. Thinking the job would be cushy was a huge mistake, I completely underestimated how much equipment we are responsible for, and as you can imagine the condition it can be in when it has been on the ground for a year. From water purification and hygiene systems to ECP Engineer Construction Plant, and OBMs Out Board Motor no Weird.. day is the same. Here is a little example of IC Chimp, LCpl Gibbs working hard on the yard washing down BFHE heater. Christmas is drawing closer but for the locals there Christmas equivalent, Eid was celebrated in the resources yard. The usual party food resourced from the variety of NAAFIs on Bastion with a bit of Afghan singing and dancing seemed to bring a few smiles to faces. This was done to show a little appreciation towards the locally employed civilians culture who work for us doing what can be described as the least desirable jobs, the sort of jobs Sappers end up doing back in the regiment.

With the Saturday games nights a regular occurrence in Camp 124, a Halloween quiz night ran by 11 Sqn was a great break from the normal weekly routine. With a quiz and games the night was thoroughly enjoyed by everyone Interesting attending, final way to eat game being a cake race to eat a bowlful of cake on the floor with no hands with all contestants managing to wear most of the cake rather than eating it. LCpl Holgate wining first prize. Afghan winter approaches with the temperature and the weather turning, the first sign consisting of an incredible lightening storm. With a third of the tour done and the R&R cycle beginning everyone seems in high spirits and ready for the tasks ahead.

Wishing the bottles of water were beer

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Hey kids
Well it is getting colder here during the day and I now have a little combat jacket to keep me warm. The clouds are here to stay and we have had some spits and spots of rain. I have been busy going around the different places where your dads work and they are all doing great. Hopefully next time we will have some nice messages for you to read, dont forget if you want a message sent to your dad which I will try and include in the Newsletter send it to: Ellie Rhino, 2IC 44 Hq&Sp Sqn, TFH Engr Gp, HQ Sqn, Op Herrick 15, Camp Bastion, BFPO 792.

BLOG 25 Nov 2011 The first person that I am going to mention today is LCpl Ronnie Fong. Ronnie works in the Regimental Construction Supervision Cell (RCSC) as a draughtsman. This job sees Ronnie going out as part of a small team to check that the work and the camps that the rest of the Regiment have built are correctly built. He is also responsible for drawing the plans for the Engineers to follow. Ronnie is enjoying the vollyball when he gets the chance and can often be seen walking around in his baggy white beenie hat. He would like to send the following message to his wife Krystal and their son John-Ashton; Happy birthday to my son john-ashton who turned 3 years old on the 25 Nov and that I love and miss you both. I cant wait to see you both on R & R. XOXO Ronnie.

The next person that I visited was Cpl Mungo Davies, Mungo is a member of the HQ Sqn Ops Room team, looking after the Sqns communications equipment. An experianced signaller he ensures that the men are able to communicate with us in Camp Bastion from anywhere in the area that the regiment operates in. He is often seen riding his Quad bike effectionatly known as The Car complete with christmas tree air freshener. He has recently seen the arrival of his very own mascot called Thomas who you can see in the picture with me and Mungo. Mungo would like to send the following message to Nadin his wife, Cameron (11) and Mia Beth (3). Not many sleeps until daddy is home and we can have lots of fun, Big hugs and kisses. Xxxxx

Remember every day they are away is a day closer to coming home. Ellie OUT x

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77 TALISMAN SQUADRON NEWS Officer Commanding Foreword

Dear Friends and Family of the TALISMAN Squadron at home and abroad

It is raining in Helmand Province today although this is not an unwelcome change. Everything also looks purple tinted through these snazzy goggles! The last couple of weeks have been varied for the 3 troops. 10 Troop have had a period in reserve which has seen them pulled in all directions. They have backfilled the other troops for their operations, pushed on with their own training and also delivered the all important demonstrations throughout our visitathon this week. Last night also saw the return of Sgt J Bizzle Betts from his well earned R&R. He reports that Paderborn is fairly much as we left it and looking forward to our return. His return also means an end to any lie-ins past 0600hrs for the troop! 11 Troop have been deployed on an extended deliberate operation in the Green Zone for a week so far and they are about half way through. This has seen plenty of action, including route clearance and blowing entry holes in compounds to enable detailed search. They have been working with bomb disposal teams, search dogs and the infantry in the execution of the operation and for part of it alongside 11 Fd Sqn while they construct an overbridge. They are doing a brilliant job in a challenging environment, overcoming the hurdles placed in front of them and fighting through the fog of war. 12 Troop have had a different time again. They have been out on 3 separate Combat Logistic Patrols delivering vital supplies to the forward bases. These have been cracked without drama or fuss. They have nick-named themselves 12 No-Problems Troop (are you allowed to nick-name yourself?) ....... bold shout! The other day I also heard SSgt Braithwaite make a small joke and a laugh a bit. So as you can see the troops are busy and making a difference and so are the rest of the team who do so much to support them. We think of you often and are really grateful for your letters and packages and also for our message wall that now adorns Buffalo Bills. Take care and we look forward to seeing you on our R&R or on our return, for those of us that have already had it. On On! Sam Hughes

p.s. Do not forget 2 Dec is probably your last chance to pop something in the post for Secret Santa: QM (FAO Santa), 77 TALISMAN Sqn, TFH Engr Gp, Op HERRICK, BFPO 792

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12 Troops Trilogy
12 Troop had a fast and furious last few days with us doing 3 Ops in the last 6 days. We prepared all the vehicles ready for the Ops, loading them with all the kit and equipment required and a couple of home comforts to keep us going. The first Op saw the Troop staying out over night at an American Patrol Base. The Op for once had a sociable departure time of 1430, so rather than struggling up in the early hours we instead had a very relaxed morning and lunch before we rolled out of Bastion. Everyone was in agreement that this was a much better time to start. We made quick progress and arrived without incident. The Americans were welcoming and showed us where we were to stay. The majority of the guys chose to sleep out under the stars as it had been a hot day, yet again.

Just like Blackpool

The following day saw the return of the early starts with the Troop ready to go at 0530. We were to meet up with a CLP and lead them down to conduct an in-load of supplies and stores before leading them back to BSN. The trip was uneventful and went well with the Troop returning in Bastion in good time. That evening we started to look to the next Op in 2 days time. With the vehicles all prepared and the alarm clocks set for 0245hrs 12 Troop was prepared to go out again in support of another Combat Logistic Patrol (CLP) to a new location that the Troop hadnt been to before. The alarm at 0245 felt extremely Scouse finally early, and with thoughts of the fact that a night out back home would still be going makes the brews strong we formed up and headed out. The Op was fairly simple and happened without incident. We arrived back to Bastion in good time and immediately started to prepare for the final of the trilogy of Ops. Another early start saw us deploy and lead another CLP down to the edge of the Green Zone. We drove along the Nahr-e-Bughra canal and saw how strongly life clings to the waterways that provide the life support of this region. On this Op we crossed paths with 11 Troop who seemed in high spirits and enjoying their time out of BSN. We made good time back to Bastion which saw the end of the Op Trilogy, with 3 Ops, each successfully reaching the destination without incident, so a good job done all round.

Pizza Night

Tailgating - Afghan style!

It is not all work and no play out here and 12 Troop was keen to go out for a night after returning from a successful Op where the Troop had the first find of the tour. With limited choices we settled on a trip out to Bastion 0 for a pizza night. A table was booked and the troop caught the bus, then walked the short distance to the Pizzeria. We had timed it to perfection and there wasnt a queue. The pizzas were surprisingly good and everyone seemed to enjoy them. We sat at one long table and reflected on some of the stories from the last Op. Once everyone had had their fill we decided to go to the coffee shop next door for a brew and to make the most of the free pool and football tables. Challenges were laid down and the competition was on with the winner stay on. Needless to say some people had more games than others and even the seniors joined in! Eventually with bellies full we were ready to go so we jumped back on the bus for the return journey back to our little camp. The remainder of the evening held a well earned chill out session on the camp cot and a film to finish off an evening in which it was great to do something slightly different and one in which everyone had a laugh and enjoyed themselves.

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Some sad goodbyes and jolly hellos!

Sgt Al Logan
Within the Fitter Section we have had several changes in personnel due to R+R as well as end of tour for others. We sadly said good bye to Dr Scott Wright, our Field Service Representative (FSR) from Exponent (who works on the Panama equipment) and welcomed his replacement Chris Moore. Both Cfn Sean Mellam and Duncan Simpson departed on R+R and are soon to return, no doubt with many a tale of conquest and war stories from back home! On a temporary basis, our numbers have been bolstered by two members of 3 CS BN REME, both Cpl Helen Overton and Cfn Aaron Marsh have joined us to assist in repairs whilst our own members of the Fitter Section rotate through R+R and conduct support to the operations. The darts continue to fly well with every member of the Fitter Section's skills improving rapidly (NAAFI break practice is really starting to pay off!). Both Cpl Helen Overton and Cfn Aaron Marsh are settling in well, fully grasping the rules and tactics involved in both games of "Killer" and "Mickey Mouse". Operations on the ground continue and with the Regiments up-coming Equipment Care Inspection (yep, it still continues over here!), it all became a little too much for our Tiff, SSgt Simmo Simpson, who opted for going out on "Ops" as appose to sorting out his shambles of a desk. Naturally, his trusty 2IC will no doubt pick up the slack and make amends!

Getting in the mood for R&R

Finally, it is with sadness we have to announce that LCpl Craig Walker no longer has his renowned "African Sunset" moustache due to unforeseen circumstances. I would like to ask all those that know him not to dwell on this tender subject but to leave the man in peace. As always, we would like to pass on our thanks for the continued support from back home and for those of us still to have R & R, cannot wait to get home for a while!

Important business - the darts league is explained

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Bobby Bostocks Diary

According to Lt Stretton
For a special treat this week, we find a diary and root through it until we hit gold. This week is a week in the life of Captain Andy Bobby/sidetrack/bustop Bostock Monday - The beginning of another week - Yey x Got up late as usual after a peaceful nights sleep, dreaming about ways to camouflage various pieces of issue kit. Strolled into the morning meeting and briefed everyone that I had only 3 days until R and R. Think some other points were discussed but cant remember. Popped up to the CSLR to practice my juggling, joke telling and generally larking about. Got caught by one of the Troop Commanders, explained that this was a one off and I am normally pretty busy (think I blagged him pretty well). Tuesday - Im looking good today!! R and R is only 2 days away now so spent most of the day telling tall stories to the Troop Commanders about all the women I am going to meet up with when I get back to the UK (think I blagged them pretty well). Would have sent Facebook messages to my friends at home to organise a night out, but for obvious security reasons, I have taken myself off Facebook. Wednesday - Midweek, I think I deserve a little more of a lie in today Just ten snoozes on the old alarm clock this morning, dont think the SSM was annoyed much!!! R and R tomorrow though so not to worry! Spent most of the day tidying my bed space and thinking about the teutonic lady who will be visiting me on R and R. Woof!! Managed to get on a recce flight to look at a bit of desert I hadnt seen before, took a few ally photos to show the Troop Commanders. Stayed up late completing a couple of pesky computer games that have been keeping me from doing much work in the evenings. Thursday - Nearly the weekend, I cant wait to have a cuddle from Mummy Flew back to Brize Norton, thank goodness LCpl Podmore was on the flight to help me contain my excitement. Mum and Dad picked me up from the Airport and took me home. My Thomas the Tank Engine wallpaper in my room was a welcome sight. Shared a bottle of Port with the old man and recounted a few war stories (think I blagged him pretty well). Realised today is Thursday, wished I had said good luck to Matt Neave before I left who says the same jokes every week grow old? Friday - The weekend is here, I need to start preparing for my date Have just realised that in my absence someone will have to cover my job back in Afghanistan. I hope they dont discover that it is pretty easy! Mum takes me shopping and she picks out some nice new clothes for me for my date with my ladyfriend. Saturday - Missing the boys :-( Luckily I carry a picture of them all Planned to meet up with all my civvy mates but annoyingly none of them were on R and R. Starting to miss the Troop Commanders a bit now, wont let on to them when I get back!!! Would normally be at the Sqn Quiz with them now; hope they can get by without my help. Sunday - Finally date night - the boys will be jealous when I tell them I made first base Met my ladyfriend cant wait to tell the Troop Commanders when I get back.
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The G4 Story thus far

LCpl Jay Dudding
A third of the way through the tour and 77 Talisman Squadron have not come unnoticed. What was once known as Bastion 3 gym has now been dominated by our squadrons Juice Heads as the boys are hitting the gym, night after night obtaining a foot hold in OP MASSIVE. Whether it is to impress their loved ones back home, or to simply look better whilst brushing their teeth in the mirror. A sure fact is, Mangos and Savoys will be full of size SMALL T-shirts and jeans 1 size too tight, for a better chiselled look! Not only is the Squadron keeping fit, but we are doing our bit helping the environment. Scientists have discovered that the amount of UV rays being emitted by sun have reduced by 70%. The only solution they can come up with, is of one man! A man in 77 we call SSgt Braithwaite. He has devoted his entire tour (so far) to absorbing each and every UV ray the sun can fire at us. Although this is a miracle for the environment, sadly the rest of us will be coming home as pale as we left. Around all this happening, under the floor boards there is 77 Talisman Squadrons G4 team. A devoted, robust and hard working QMs department, that compromises of just 4 blokes and Frank AKA big Frank. Spr Edwards AKA Yam Yam, me AKA Jay, and the two bosses, SSgt Shores and Capt Meakins AKA the chuckle brothers. Or granddad and dad, in that order!! In just over 60 days we have single headedly managed to, create a beautiful garden, eat 74 donuts, drink 3000Ltrs of water, acquire 3 tin openers and mother the troops every day until they are safely tucked into their beds. I cannot continue without mentioning, the 74 donuts eaten would not be possible without the proud SSgt Shores, demolishing 62 of them (and still counting).

Warning: mass donut eating may cause you to fall asleep INSTANTLY every day; apparently

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As well as completing these amazing tasks we also have slightly more pertinent jobs to achieve. A lot of the time we, meaning myself and Yam, are chasing up demands. This seems to be the single most difficult task to achieve. My theory on why this is; with rank comes longer coffee breaks, and its only going to get more difficult with the US now opening E.F.Is new rival The Green Been coffee shop. Admittedly I did love the 4 shot latte espresso. A coffee I could have done with about 7 hours earlier. Once we have the important, essential demands the troops need, like volleyballs, we continue with other jobs such as supplying the troops with kit, munitions and explosives, big guns, rifles, Lt Strettons bayonet, rations, beds and poo bags. Just a few of the many items needed. Lots and lots of paperwork. Thats where Big Frank comes in. I despise paperwork; luckily for me Big Frank lives for it. Im almost certain he doesnt know what he is doing but his love for his UNICOM desk brings out his confused smile. A smile none the less! Im going to say it again. As well as all this happening, we are also prepping for inspections. Which mean pre-inspections and pre-pre-inspections. It doesnt matter how long you spend cleaning, prepping and organising because, Im assuming, when attending the QMs course, on completion you are awarded a super power. No its not X-Ray vision or the ability to fly; it must have some code name like, the bullshnizzle detector. A nose like a rat, every one dreads a QM inspection. He finds EVERYTHING. Even if its not there! A good thing of course. Once you pass the QMs pre-pre inspection you may as well lock up and wait for the real thing. To summarise. Everyone is keeping busy which is making time go just that little bit faster. The guys and girls still have their humour keeping moral at a good level. When your motivation has been exhausted choose the 4shot latte espresso to get the kick you need. Without G4 (you would be naked, pooing in a field unarmed) you cannot win the war!

G4 gets touched with a spot of magic........................................

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Brigade Reconnaissance Force

LCpl Chris Carr
Its been a busy few weeks for the Engineers of the Brigade Reconnaissance Force. Sgt Razor Ruddock has just returned from a 4 day mobility Op with his lads in 1 troop, clearing over 80 compounds and detaining another bad guy. Fortunately he was able to update his Facebook status before the Jackals were even back in the compound. We are now aware that he loves his The BRF team missus. Again. Capt Gledhill has also returned from the same op, and was somewhat miffed to find someone had stolen his favourite highlighter pen; green. Between trips down the Geocell for mapping and staring at GeoViewer it has been a busy tour for the BGE. Spr Gaz White and Sgt Chalky White (Collectively known as White2) have been on numerous Heli Ops with 2 Troop, or as they insist on being called, 2nd Platoon (Everyone else goes by Troops, they are special). White2 had a particularly good Op on one, conducting our first EMOE of the tour by blowing in 2 doors with det cord and conducting a mini fire-mission on an enemy firing point with 40mm UGL rounds, suppressing the enemy. Hard at work Not to be outdone, L/Cpl Chris Carr went on his own heliborne jolly with the mighty 3 Troop in support of SF, and was tasked to destroy a number of main charges, a motorbike and a supporting wall for a building, in order to bring it down. With much gusto and the reputation of the Engineers on his shoulders, he set to the task. A half Barmine and 3 slabs on a 90 second fuse was set up and it was with no small amount of relief that it detonated with great effect! Sgt Cal Stewart can continue to dream of such greatness, but is coming on well and is now considered not a bad combat engineer for a planty. There is always time to pose

The 35 contingent are generally enjoying their time with the BRF. We have attempted to educate them in the ways of the Corps, but find our attempts poorly received. The RE Recruiting Office we have tried to run from our Engineer ISO receives few visits, and our RE Because Were Better Than You mugs have not gone down as well as was hoped either. We hope to have more success with a line of RE Because We Get Paid More Than You T-Shirts. On the bright side, our Engineer LoveIn every Saturday evening has become THE social event to be seen at!

Look forward to the next article from the BRF, Sgt Stewart will be writing it so please forgive the lack of punctuation and poor spelling.

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PADRE'S PROGRESS 25 November

Another first! Two days travelling in the back of a Ridgeback vehicleI was warned. When I announced that I would be travelling to various locations on a road move in a such a vehicle the responses varied from a knowing look to hysterical laughter to concerned questions such as Do you have any tooth fillings? So it was with some trepidation that I arrived bright-eyed at 0600 to begin the move to various locations over the next few days. The best piece of advice I was given was to take a pillow or cushion which I thought was a bit girlie, so when I saw others with a variety of soft seating apparatus, I was relieved but alarmed. So all they had said was true! The plan to see some of the countryside on a road move was soon over once I realised that the only way to see out was by twisting my neck at an absurd angle, overcoming both body armour and seat strap restrictions, and peering through a dust caked windscreen several metres away from me with the added delight of bar armour beyond that. Oh, the other option was twisting my neck at yet another angle to get a glimpse of sky round the legs of the guy manning the weapon next to me. Did he have the easier option of standing all tripnot too sure! We stopped at a few locations to touch base with various troops doing what they do best building sangars, recces for future tasks, making good of locations for future use by the Afghans. Plus, of course, the other things they do wellrobust banter, ration pack moaning, and looking after me! We stayed overnight at a location where Capt Peake and I were further looked after by being offered bedspaces in the female tent. Feeling rather relieved that this was on offer since the weather report was for rain that night, I awoke after a disturbed night of generators, noisy tent neighbours and later arrivals into the tent, to find that there had been no rain after all! Guess there is some justice somewhere for some! I returned yesterday feeling at least 2cm shorter after being compressed from the almighty bumps in the vehicle and at least one kidney that needed to find out where it should be! But hey! We returned safe and surely that is what matters most. So thank you to my Ridgeback Roomiesyou know who you are! My other mode of transport at BSN which is another acquired or rather, re-allocated bicycle has now had some additions, courtesy of my husband posting out some lights so that I can get around in the evening and an amazing bright pink girlie combination lock with pictograms of hearts and stars on it instead of numbers. Thank you, Frank!? I now know who my replacement will be on Herrick 16I wonder if he will be confident enough to use it if I hand it on! Awoke this morning to a glorious sunrise. The increase of clouds in the weather system recently means that sunrise and sunset is more spectacular due to the colours within and around the clouds. If you can lift your eyes and heart above the dust, the wire, the rows and rows of tents and Hescothen beauty can be glimpsed and treasured for a few moments. The reading I had for this morning said this from Psalm 19 and I guess David who wrote it could well have been looking out from his tent too: The heavens declare the glory of God, the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge

in the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun. God keep you Padre Clare Callanan
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Photo Competition
For a chance to win the Regimental camera all you have to do is submit your best photo and a one dollar note through your chain of command. Ensure the photo is labelled with where and when the photo was taken, who is in the photo, your rank, name, sub unit and Sqn. All submission will go to Capt Peake. Family and friends are also welcome to enter through the Welfare team in Barker barracks. Please have your photo electronically and take along a one euro entry fee. The winning photo will be decided at the end of tour. The winning photo will appear on the front of the end of tour glossy magazine and the winner will be the lucky new owner of the Fujifilm S3300 14 Megapixel CCD 24mm wide-angle -super zoom lens 3.0 LCD screen Full HD stills and 720p HD movie capture (30 fps) HDMI port for easy image display on any HDTV Easy web upload to Facebook and YouTube Face Detection with Blink detection and Smile and shoot mode Face Recognition technology Full Manual Controls Intelligent Flash 4 x AA batteries

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Camp BASTION Half Marathon

New Years Day 2012

In aid of BLESMA
and 35 Engr Regt Injured Soldiers Fund Entry fee: $15 Race T-Shirt for every runner Prizes for places

For registration contact: SSM TALISMAN Sqn, Camp 603, BSN 3

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Stories from the familes

Stuckenbruck Safari Park Trip Mrs Lynne Pumfrey
What an amazing day out! The weather was beautiful and there was something for everyone...including some good ole junk food for the ones with hangovers!! We had great views of all the animals and at one point a bit too much of a good view...what a great time for the lions to attempt a 'piggy back'!! I'm sure we'll all be giggling about that for weeks to come. My eldest son discovered a love for big roller-coasters and was highly amused when I told him that he wouldn't get his dad on there in a million years!! He now feels very grown up. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and there were some very tired children on the way home...I've never heard a coach load of little ones so quiet!! My boys description of their day was 'AWESOME'!! I think that says it all. A huge thanks to all who helped to organise our perfect day.

Sunday Lunch Cameron Mills

I really enjoyed the last Sunday lunch. There were lots of people there and it was really busy. The Food was really nice especially the Gammon and the Raspberry Cheesecake. After lunch us kids could go downstairs to do some art and crafts and have our faces painted but I didn't go cos I went to the football pitch to play Football with my mates instead. My sister Mia had her face painted as a butterfly and made some Halloween bags and some little puppets on a stick. Upstairs there was a woman from BFBS so you could leave a message for the dads out in Afghanistan. My mum and sister have left a message for my dad but I missed it because I was still outside playing football with my friends but I will record a message next time promise dad.
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Hello.
WO1(ASM) Bamford
On behalf of all personnel on the ROG, I would like to pass on our collective best wishes and regards to all personnel on Forward Ops. Im sure that you are all performing to your best abilities and putting all of the training that you received into good use, stay safe. At last Cfn Wright has deployed to theatre, leaving the LAD ROG to concentrate on supporting Fwd Ops, assisting the Regiments wider tasks and finally ensuring that all equipment support tasks are completed to an impeccable standard. This last task is a vital area for preparation for the Regiments future tasks and training post operations. Currently we are dealing with upgrading the Land Rover fleet (Project REMUS), preparing to handover vehicles to 7 Brigade Units, preparing to out-load vehicles for CAST and for base overhaul plus completing routine maintenance and repairs.

The ROG LAD getting ready for the Poppy day fun run

The LAD coffee mornings are up and running allowing information and messages to be passed from the home base to deployed personnel, along with sampling LCpl Wedlocks treble chocolate cake! Im very pleased to say that everyone in the LAD ROG is currently performing to their maximum capability, and as expected, completing all tasks no matter how small or large from start to finish.

Life in the LAD ROG

Cpl Smith
Since the start of the Rear Ops Group forming, the LAD has worked hard getting the workshop organised, which included moving two sections worth of Equipment and Tools. We also arranged most of the A-Vehicles on the shop floor, which meant production, could proceed with minimal fuss. We moved the Land Rovers involved with Project REMUS onto the shop floor and are working hard to get them fully fit, ready to be moved to 3 Civilian Work shop where they will be fitted with the modifications. The LAD has worked well, even though we have lost manpower due to various vehicle courses. LCpl Wedlock has organised two enjoyable coffee mornings for the LAD wives and the rest of the LAD has enjoyed the leftover cake! We would also like to congratulate Cfn Dennison on getting married in September, and welcome a new member to the LAD, Cpl Scott Pateman. We also thank Sgt Herrington and Cpl Death for the well organised Halloween party, in which the whole LAD was involved with, and the workshop becomes a haunted castle. Overall the LAD has been busy and look forward to future activities and commitments.

Warrior Repair

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MT and Recovery Section

Cpl Roberts
MT and Recovery Section have been busy preparing vehicles for handover to 7 Brigade Units and for back loading. The first three vehicles that stand out are those that are CAST. A CAST vehicle to the layman is interpreted as a fifty year old rust bucket, a vehicle that one just moves out of the way until the scrap man comes along. Not so in our case. Of the three CAST vehicles two are deemed fully fit, the Foden (this is the six wheeled recovery asset) and the DAF 4T. The Foden has had its crane and winch tested over in Hameln together with all of its servicing tool kit and lifting tackle, hence a fully fit, fully functioning serviceable vehicle ready for tasking. The third CAST vehicle is the 20 Tone Task Trailer. Having the CAST vehicles ready for disposal MT and Recovery then moved forward to recover a Bulldog (434) from 3 Civilian Work shop based in Bielefeld. This vehicle is now awaiting hand over and delivery by the recovery mechanics to its new owner 3 Royal Horse Artillery. After two weeks preparation on the Bulldog next on the list is the Warrior. Again a work in progress clearing all the small and jobs and not forgetting certifying the crane and lifting tackle ready for the new owner. Whilst these smaller tasks are being cleared a full communications check has been conducted with new vehicle radio batteries and radio platform fitted. This will then allow the Warrior to communicate and send data whilst out on Exercise or Ops. Next on the list is the CRARRV (recovery vehicle). As you can probably guess the CRARRV is the recovery mechanics little baby and is shortly setting sail for base overhaul. Craftsman Curtis has been busy clearing as many level one jobs and lending a hand with the vehicle mechanics clearing the small jobs where possible. Moving onto the B vehicle fleet we have a vehicle in at 3 Civilian Work shop going through Project REMUS. This involves stripping all communications equipment including batteries then the vehicle gets stripped to be fitted with a more structurally rigid roll cage. The final piece for MT and Recovery is the Communications side: BOWMAN (radios). A lot of work has gone into the account ensuring that the LAD as a whole is fully operational ready for training. There have been numerous platform updates together with a lot of liaising with the Regimental Signal Troop. Cfn Thomas repairing a vehicle

Sgt Kerr discussing West Brom with the CRE

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Species: Banteras Pitiful Minion Identification Chart

Kevanicus Cameronicus (Tooeyessees Grumpicus) Sex: Male Species: Sea lion Nicknames: SLIM, Big Kev, Kev, Rogue DJ. Distinguishing Features: Balding, but not on his back. Characteristics: Fetish for anything marked with the number 29. Convinced that the number 29 is the be all and end all despite the fact that weve all read the Hitch Hikers guide and know that the ans is 42. Complains a lot Can consume vast quantities of alcohol Grumbles a lot. Secret ladies man (verified) Natural Habitat: Mostly found at parties he has organised, standing in for the DJ. Andicus Kerrican (Tooeyessees Angrican) Sex: Male Species: Gorilla Nicknames: Andy, Kerrmeister Distinguishing features: Bald pate, large chest, grizzled. Characteristic: Doesnt eat, except small babies (unverified) Calm and assured exterior disguised molten lava beneath. Can be used as a distraction for Alicus Mcccckkkkekers by other Tooeyessees. Can be calmed by placing Troopicus Bubbilicus in front of him. Natural Habitat: Gym, crushing metal weights between his teeth.

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Louisicus Gostlinacon (Tooeyessees Roboticus) Sex: Female. Species: Automaton. Nicknames: Lou, TIC Distinguishing Features: Blond, ditzy, can be cute but has a nasty bite. Characteristics: Ability to absorb information at a lightning rate. Workaholic With the addition of alcohol becomes what can only be described as giggly! Natural Habitat: The office. Working, constantly, without end. Dominicus Rilecus (Tooeyessees Past-it-acus) Sex: Male Species: Hound Dog Nicknames: Dom, Nightowl Distinguishing features: un-ageing (may well be preserved in alcohol) Characteristics: Highly likely to be autistic (can complete Rubixs cube) Ability to attract beautiful women and date them. Inability to hold onto said women for more than 1-2 months. (constantly verified) Actually 58yrs old secret to youth unknown (see above) Recently addicted to the Gym. Long suffering victim of Guius Boximus. Natural Habitat: The office, generating spreadsheets and formulas Stevimus Porticus (Tooeyessees Oddicus) Sex: Male Species: Teddy bear Nicknames: Porto, Stevie P Distinguishing Features: Arms like Garth, legs in plaster, perfectly coiffeured quiff. Characteristics: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Has own manual on army dress code that bears no resemblance to any other. Secret aversion to lower body phys. Can possibly substitute gargantuan arms as legs and thus may be a Transformer Far too posh to be in the Engineers Says he is a diver. But has anyone seen him dive? Page 45

Who called me cute?

I know its hard to believe but I am in fact 58 years old........

His quiff was too big for the picture............

Natural Habitat: In his room, polishing his rather large brass diving helmet!

Messages from the Editor

Thanks to you all for your support, I hope you enjoy this edition of the Trojan Times. If you would like to have an article published in the Trojan Times and you are in Afghanistan please pass it to your SSM and if you are at home please pass it to SSgt Allum or the welfare team on a disc with any pictures as separate documents. If you hear any news about anything that might have happened in Afghanistan, which gives you cause for concern in any way, please get in touch with the Welfare Office on +495251101213. We will ensure that the team holds the most up to date and accurate information so that they will be able to advise you appropriately or deal with the issue. In the event of any casualties they will be able to clarify the situation, in accordance with the wishes of the individual or family. Many thanks

Just for laughs

One of the Battlegroup Engineers has taken to working with the cavalry a bit too well..............................

The Cavalry Battlegroup Engineer on tour

Glossary Ranks Spr - Sapper LCpl - Lance Corporal Cpl - Corporal Sgt - Sergeant SSgt - Staff Sergeant WO2 - Warrant Officer Second Class WO1 - Warrant Officer First Class Lt - Lieutenant Capt - Captain Maj - Major Lt Col - Lieutenant Colonel
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Sub Units Tp - Troop Armd Engr Sqn - Armoured Engineer Squadron Fd Engr Sqn - Field Engineer Squadron Hq & Sp Sqn - Headquarters and Support Squadron Bn - Battalion Regt - Regiment Sect - Section

Afghanistan specific terms

Op - Operation, mission, task (not surgery) PB - Patrol Base CP - Check Point SANGAR - A watch tower which is manned 24 hours a day to provide protection to a base Stag - standing in the sangar keeping watch and providing protection JOB - Joint Operating Base ANA - Afghan National Army IED - Improvised Explosive Device SAF - Small Arms Fire HESCO - Large flat packed containers made of thick strong wire containing a large sandbag. The sandbag is filled with sand to produce a large protective brick. The individual HESCO blocks are then used like giant bricks to produce a protective wall for our bases. FOB - Forward Operating Base NES (S) - Nahr-e Saraj South NES (N) - Nahr-e Saraj North NDA - Nad-e Ali TFH - Task Force Helmand ISAF - International Security Assistance Force ANSF - Afghanistan National Security Force ANP - Afghan National Police SAF - Small Arms Fire SOP - Standard Operating procedure HLS - Helicopter Landing Site Barma - Our drill used to find Improvised Explosive Devices with a hand held metal detector.

Equipment
MASTIFF - Large armoured truck with a with a heavy machine gun for protection. TALISMAN - A series of vehicles used to clear a route of improvised explosive devices. HUSKY - Another type of large armoured vehicle. MWT - Medium wheeled tractor (dump truck). SLDT(P) - Self Loading Dump Truck (Protected) - A small dump truck. Apache - Ugly looking attack helicopter. Chinook - Large helicopter featured in the film Big Friendly Giant. Sea-king - Royal Navy helicopter used as search and rescue in the UK. Merlin - Medium to large Royal Air Force and Navy helicopter used to move Troops around from base to base.

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