BEREAVEMENT COUNSELING AND THE PROCESS OF GRIEF

These are some key stages and feelings that come up for an individual, a family, a nation when encountering the process of dying, death, loss and major change. This is simply a guideline. No two and no two people people in grieve a for the grieve same time period. the The The process process as is same, of grief cyclical as an

does not and

happen in

linear

fashion or ways. It

from 1-10. is a

manifest

many

different

process

unique

individual person. This is a guideline. The process of grieving is a very sacred time and must be honored individually. A facilitator or therapist in assisting in the process of grief is there to be way it is hold a space and a for healing This honors and needs the created to be a safe place done inner for in a for feelings to

expressed and in

explored. that the

non-judgmental Many to ask times for

way for

individual's to ask

process. and

beneficial

person

grieving

support

that support in specific ways. The individual, family or group grieving will not always need the same assistance. KEY STAGES OF THE PROCESS OF GRIEF The process of Loss and Bereavement 1. Denial and disbelief 2. Alarm - anxiety, restlessness, physiological accompaniments of fear 3. Urge to find/search for lost person/object/title/job/security/known situation. 4. Anger and guilt 5. Bargaining - in anticipation and reaction to the loss/threatened loss 6. Despair and depression - internal loss and deprivation 7. Identification phenomena - adopting traits, habits of deceased/adopting behavior patterns to insure that the loss/perceived loss does not occur again in the person's environment. 8. Pathological variants - delayed/prolonged/inability to grieve. 9. Acceptance - non-acceptance or resignation. This is a decision making interim; and the

beginning of recovery as a resolution is mandated at this point. 10. New identity - reorganization. At this juncture the restructuring begins and all that entails in the process, and individual development. PROCESS OF BEREAVEMENT COUNSELING Transitional Counseling 1. Help the person actualize the loss. 2. Help the person identify and express feeling of anger, guilt, fear, anxiety, sorrow. 3. Work with the person on living without the deceased/person/situation/job/status/income 4. Aid emotional withdrawal from loss 5. Give time to grief and its expression 6. Assess "normal" and "pathological" behavior/relating patterns 7. Allow for individual behavior 8. Support 9. Explore defenses and coping mechanisms 10. Assess for referral if there is absence, deferred or prolonged grieving. "7 STAGES OF GRIEF".

It is important to interpret the stages loosely, and expect much individual variation. There is no neat progression from one stage to the next. In reality, there is much looping back, or stages can hit at the same time, or occur out of order. So why bother with stage models at all? Because they are a good general guide of what to expect.

Here is the grief model called "The 7 Stages of Grief": 1. SHOCK & DENIAL2. PAIN & GUILT3. ANGER & BARGAINING4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS-

5. THE UPWARD TURN6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-

GRIEF IN CHILDREN - NORMAL SYMPTOMS These should be temporary and gradually improve:
y y y y y y y y

Regression to bedwetting, thumbsucking Numbness or "shock" Whining, crying or clinging to you Reduced ability to concentrate Major changes in eating and/or sleeping patterns Roller coaster ride of emotions--- highs and lows Hyperactivity and "acting out", temper tantrums or aggression Poor school grades, bad behavior in class.

Camp Erin Camp Erin is a bereavement camp designed for children ages 7-17, who have experienced the death of a family member or friend within the last 3 years. It is a traditional, fun, high-energy camp combined with grief and education and is free of charge to all families. Camp Erin is an initiative created and funded by The Moyer Foundation in Seattle, WA a non-profit organization established by Major League All-Star pitcher Jamie Moyer and his wife, Karen. Adult Grief After the death of someone close, the world turns upside down. Waves of emotion including sadness, loneliness, anger, yearning, and shock surge through. Tasks that need to be accomplished feel insurmountable. You are exhausted at times and restless at others. You may experience a sense of disbelief and ask yourself "How can this be real?" Community Grief

A death in your workplace or school setting will profoundly affect you, your staff, and your colleagues. Daily reminders of the person who died may trigger a myriad of thoughts and emotions. It may become difficult for co-workers or classmates to concentrate, and performance and attendance may drop. There will be a need to create a forum for the expression of shared grief. NEW GRIEF STAGES... "Stages of Grief" cited working models of the grief process. However, in the studies of the research done on grief, it had found that this 3-step model, "The New Grief Stages", is more flexible, broad, understandable and accurate in describing the tasks to be completed during the grieving process.

These are the three phases of the New Grief Stages: 1. SHOCK2. SUFFERING3. RECOVERY-