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The Oyez is a magazine by law students for law students in the finest tradition of satire
and critique. As the only intentionally funny thing about law school, The Oyez isn’t
afraid to show just how ridiculous the law and the school experience can be. We aim to
please, and are pleased to take aim. Also available online and in technicolour at
www.uwindsor.ca/theoyez.
You have gone out there and proven to us that our student
misconducts won’t follow us into the real world. You’ve showed
us that true love exists by marrying each other. You’ve showed
us that there is a universe outside of Windsor by leaving and
never returning here. Indeed, we still have much to learn from
you!
Mark Loya
Editor-in-Chief, The Oyez
Some people come to Windsor Law expecting to become Supreme
Court Justices. Others aspire to be high priced Bay Street
Lawyers. Others still aim to last a year in the profession
without being disbarred. Those types are pretty funny. But
others still aspire for greater things, only to give up and
become Mayor of Windsor. Just kidding. Mayor of Windsor is
pretty frickin’ sweet.
Did Windsor Law ruin Eddie Francis? Did we turn him into an upright Access-to-
Justiceonian citizen? Mayor Eddie strikes me as the type who tips well, rides
on public transportation, and who sits in a modest chair purchased from Costco.
I bet you he donates to the alumni committee as well. Horrible.
Well, it’s time for a change. I’m not speaking of hosting a coup, mind you, I’m
talking about changing the way Eddie rules his feudal fief of Windsor. For
starters, he needs a throne. Not a regal King Edward type, but the kind of
throne Darth Vader would use at his cottage on the weekends. He also needs a
cape for that matter.
He could also probably use a scary logo of some type. It should be used in po-
litical propaganda commercials that play round the clock. The kind that Cellino
and Barnes would use if they were Mongolian pirate brigands in the 1600’s. In
fact, exactly like that. Mayor Eddie should rule Windsor the way personal in-
jury attorneys rule Buffalo, only he should be responsible for all the fires
too.
Still, it is great to see our Alumni rising to positions of power. And while
Eddie has failed as a dictator, it’s nice to see that he’s keeping the job away
from hooligans, like Osgoode law grads. Can you imagine what would happen if
one of those clowns seized power? It would be all sunshine and rainbows and
lollipops for everyone. Everyone would be equal and happy. And you know what
that’s called, right? Communism.
Carry on, Eddie. You have our full support. Just, if you don’t mind, declare
war on Detroit. If you do that one small thing for us, we’ll love you forever.
Except for the Detroitians. They’d probably just call you a big jerk.