Mother of God Covenant Community Supplemental Information 1997

Supplemental Information Only Available Online April 20, 1997
The Mother of God Covenant Community

-Mother of God Timeline -The Members: In Their Own Words -Documents: -Cardinal Hickeys Speech -Community Covenant -Information Gathering -The Buddy Report -Tom Weinandys Memo (April 10, 1995)
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THIS
WEEK
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By Justin Gillis The Washington Post Magazine
Investigation:
The Church Takes a Closer Look
Community problems come to light during an investigation by the archdiocese.
Reorganization:
The Climax of the Struggle
Cardinal Hickey asks the Difatos to step down and requests reforms in the t,:;m;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;~ community.
Division: People Are Forced to Choose Sides

Hickey's intervention forces people to decide whether they are defenders or critics of the old regime.
Supplemental
Information
Only Available Online:
Mother of God Timeline The Members:

In Their Own Words
Documents: Cardinal Hickey's speech Information Gathering
I Community I The Buddy
Covenant Report
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April 26: High-Control Groups
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A special report: How do high-control groups form, and how do they operate? Why are the techniques they use to recruit and keep members so controversial?
On the Web
The Mother of God community still exists, in smaller form, and now operates under the supervision of the Archdiocese of Washington. The community has a Web site.
Discussion
Offer your own thoughts about Mother of God or related issues in our online discussion area.
Feedback
Send your comments to Washington Post staff writer Justin Gillis: gillisj@washpost.com
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MOTHER OF GOD TIMELINE 1960s Two women in Potomac, Judith Tydings and Edith Difato, undergo religious conversion experiences and become active in the Catholic charismatic movement. June 7, 1968 Tydings, Difato and friends hold the first meeting of a tiny prayer group that includes charismatic practices.
March 24, 1971 The budding community is formally incorporated in Maryland under the name Potomac Charismatic Community Inc. 1970s The community grows to several hundred members and begins to take on a more formal structure. 1972 The name Mother of God is chosen, reflecting the community's "total obedience to the divine purpose." Mid-1970s Joseph Difato directs the community toward Montgomery Village, near Gaithersburg, and migration begins. 1974 Joseph Difato, Edith Difato's eldest son, takes a leadership role in the community.
1981 Mother of God leaders establish a for-profit computer business called Orange Systems, employing community members and operating on "Christian principles."
Late 1981 Mother of God begins publishing a devotional magazine called The Word Among Us that eventually becomes the community's prime cash engine. 1980s The influx into Gaithersburg continues, and the community peaks at perhaps 1,200 members. Late 1980s Privately, several people begin to question the way Mother of God operates.
Early 1993 The Archdiocese of Washington grants temporary recognition of Mother of God but lays out conditions for final approval, including a change of leadership. Early 1994 The archdiocese undertakes an in-depth review of Mother of God's structure and operations. Mid-1994 The nun leading the archdiocese's review of Mother of God invites people to meet with her. Many express reservations about the community's practices. Late 1994 At Joseph Difato's request, other Orange Systems owners agree to pay $1.3 million to buyout his share of the company.
May 21, 1995 The dissent spills into the open when one of Mother of God's founders, Judith Tydings, reads a critical letter aloud in a prayer meeting.
Sept. 23, 1995 Cardinal James Hickey visits the community, outlines problems, asks the Difatos to step down and insists on reform. Feb. 1, 1996 The Difato family formally leaves Mother of God after winning promises that they will be protected against lawsuits and that financial records will be sealed. Feb. 14, 1997 The Mother of God community, much smaller and operating under new procedures and democratic leadership, wins formal approval from the Archdiocese of Washington.
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Mother of God Members: In Their Own Words

Critic Critic Defender
What was it like to live in the Mother of God community? How do people feel now about their experience? Former members Gary Cummings, Jim Kiernan and Jane West are critics of the old Mother of God community. Former member Steve Valentino defends the old Mother of God. Click on a photo for an interview with Gary, Jim, Jane or Steve. Go to Mother of God Main Menu
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Jane West graduated from Catholic University and is a former teacher and speech pathologist. She and her husband moved to Gaithersburg with their four children in 1984 to join the Mother of God community. Her telephone calls to an editor at The Washington Post, Bob Woodward, launched the newspaper's investigation of Mother of God. How did you become involved in the Mother of God community? In 1977, I was active in the Catholic charismatic renewal and helped plan a conference to be held in Washington. Through that I met two coordinators and a priest from Mother of God. Later the priest invited me to return with my family to spend a week living in the community. We were impressed by the families we met, who seemed to share our values, and by a local bishop's strong words of praise for Mother of God. After seven years of careful consideration we decided to move here. We were strongly influenced by the fact that five widely acclaimed priests were members. What were your earliest feelings about the community? I loved the feeling of belonging to a group of people who had a deep faith and prayer life. During our first few years there was plenty of fun: picnics, skits, concerts, summer camp for the kids and so forth. Once you had belonged for a while, did your feelings change, and how? Yes. The pressure to attend community events steadily increased, leaving little time for family. We resisted, convinced that duty to family was our first priority. We were beginning to get a vague sense of how the system known as "headship and submission" worked. The community appointed a "head" or spiritual adviser for me. I was often told by this person, "I am responsible for your salvation." I challenged that, referring to Catholic teaching on the sanctity of individual conscience. I was berated by one of the leaders for this. Despite our resistance, for years we were allowed to sign the Mother of God covenant after we added a statement saying we retained the right to make our own decisions. We never relinquished that right. What was your best experience at Mother of God? It was a joy teaching seventh- and eighth-graders at the Mother of God school and helping them produce plays. These kids were denigrated by some of the teachers and referred to as "bad," but I found them full oflife. Sadly, their spirits later appeared to have been quenched.
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What was your worst experience there? In 1991 we were finally told we could no longer be covenanted members. At the time we were not given the reason but would later learn it was our refusal to submit totally to the community's demands. I was lectured about my faults, and my Catholic beliefs were denigrated. I was subjected to harsh verbal attacks. Leaders tried to convince me that I was a terrible mother and implied that I should abdicate my parental authority to the team who had pastoral "care" over my daughter, which I refused to do. We were allowed to remain as "associate" members, a lesser category. Why didn't you leave when you developed doubts about the group? We were in a conundrum. We stayed because we loved many of the people there and still hungered for community life. Although we were hearing stories of damaged lives and were particularly alarmed about the teaching and treatment of the young people, we were hopeful of reform. In early 1994 the Catholic Archdiocese of Washington launched an assessment of Mother of God. However, in October '94 we heard that Mother of God leaders wanted to have the chairman of the assessment committee removed. Fearful ofa cover-up and mindful of the statement in the Catholic Catechism that "society has a right to information based on truth," I called Bob Woodward of The Post to tell him about the situation at Mother of God. Did you come to feel you had been misled about Mother of God's real nature or purpose? Yes. Its outward appearance was Catholic, yet Catholic practices were often ridiculed. There was secrecy regarding the system of "headship and submission," arranged marriages and other controversial practices. The effects on many young people were disastrous. As we began to realize how misled we had been, we took to heart the exhortation in the catechism of the Catholic Church that lay people "have a right and even at times a duty to manifest to the sacred pastors their opinion on matters which pertain to the good of the church." So we wrote letters to Cardinal James Hickey, archbishop of Washington, and met with his vicar general, Bishop William Lori, expressing our fear that the recommendations of the committee studying Mother of God would not be fully enacted. Unfortunately, our fears proved correct. When and why did you finally leave? We left because those who had suffered ridicule were not given a public forum to talk about what had happened. At two Mother of God "town hall" meetings in summer '95, I stood up and talked about the "Information Gathering" document and the fact that files were kept on members. By a two-thirds vote the assembly agreed to invite former members to tell their stories in an open forum. Later the archdiocese canceled that forum. In good conscience, we could not remain in a group that neither heeded the pleas for full disclosure of the group's actions nor specifically denounced them. As Elie Wiesel said, "What hurts the victims most is not the cruelty of the oppressor but the silence of the bystander." What's your opinion on whether the group was a cult?
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I would call it a high-demand, high-control, totalistic group. I base my opinion on the many characteristics of such groups listed in professional literature: Top leaders were revered as having unique knowledge about, and from, God. Members were continuously exhorted to "be of one mind," namely that of the leaders. Members were exhorted to "take every thought captive." Mother of God members were said to "know more about the spiritual life than 99 percent of all believers." Any criticism or negative evaluation by anyone, including the archdiocese, was described as motivated by evil forces. Members who raised concerns were slandered and shunned. Activities outside the group, including seeking outside professional counseling or seeing a priest for confession, were discouraged. Extremely personal, confidential information was solicited and shared without the knowledge or consent of the individual. There were arranged marriages and gross interference in marriage. Parental authority was undermined. Many of these practices devastated some members' lives. Drawing from your own experience, what's your best advice for other people who are thinking of joining unusual movements or religious groups? Beware of secrecy and elitist attitudes on the part of people professing some unique claim of truth. Seek out former members of the group for their opinions. Don't be misled by a group's attempts to discredit critics. Leaders can be very persuasive in presenting their side. For Catholics, don't assume canonical status means safety. Reports have surfaced recently of problems in groups that have acquired canonical approval. Research all press coverage, both secular and Catholic. The bylaws under which a group operates, known in the Catholic Church as statutes, may afford little protection against long-established habits of coercion, manipulation and dependency. If you are already in a manipulative group, don't be afraid to contact the secular press. Often they are the only ones willing to investigate and publish facts. Healthy groups needn't fear scrutiny. If you are Catholic -- as I still am -- please write your bishop and the Vatican requesting they become better informed about manipulative groups. Suggest they convene an international congress to discuss such groups, with emphasis on public testimony from people who have been harmed. A document issued by the Vatican in 1987, known as Christifidelis Laici, contains excellent general thoughts about how lay associations of the faithful should operate. But it lacks specific guidelines, and is often used by oppressive groups as justification for their existence. Ask the Vatican to publish more specific guidelines. Ask them, also, to consider withdrawing canonical recognition of groups unwilling to abolish harmful practices. Procedures for this are described in canon law. Finally, remember the Pope's Address to the World of Culture held in Budapest in 1991: "Ignorance makes any kind of free decision impossible. " Jane West's e-mail addressiscare@iname.com Go to Members Page Go to Mother of God main menu
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Gary Cummings, 29, was 5 years old when his parents joined the Mother of God community. He left when he was 26. He lives with his wife, Angie, in Fort Collins, Colo., where he is studying natural-resources management. How did you become involved in the Mother of God community? I grew up in the community. From an early age I went to community formation classes. Through all my years of growing up, I was taught that the community was a special outpouring of the Holy Spirit and that we were God's chosen people. What were your earliest feelings about the community? My feelings were mixed. As a child there, I got a lot of attention from certain members, and it was like a large, extended family. On the other hand, I went to a public school; most of the other kids knew about the community, and I was teased about being in this weird religious group. I remember wanting to be "normal." Kids like me were not allowed to mix much with outsiders or participate in school activities. Once you had belonged for a while, did your feelings change, and how? My whole time growing up there was a struggle. I would go through times of rebelling and then I would "repent." For a long time I thought I was the problem. I used to wish that my "hard heart" would be broken and I would finally be obedient. We were taught that our whole families had been called to Mother of God. I was supposed to participate fully, but often I didn't want to; I felt stuck. I went through some intense emotional struggles, and I just couldn't understand why growing up in the community was so difficult. What was your best experience at Mother of God? My best experience was working at a salvage yard for Mercedes Benz automobiles. It was owned by a member of the community. Other young men from Mother of God worked there, and we did have a lot of fun. I learned how to work hard. We were also able to use the place to work on our own cars, and I really enjoyed it. What was your worst experience there? My worst experience was simply coming of age in Mother of God. I was trying to figure out my true path in an environment where other people thought they had the right to make decisions for me. We were expected to submit every decision to a
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spiritual overseer called a "head." If! decided something on my own, I was chastised. My life was micromanaged by people who claimed to know God's will. Even when I was in my twenties, Mother of God tried to control my dating. I fell in love with a woman at work, and they put pressure on me to break up with her because she wasn't in the community. I eventually left the community and we got married, but both of us went through years of torment. Why didn't you leave when you developed doubts about the group? When I was about 19, I got really tired of living in the community and wanted to leave. During a prayer meeting, I went out to my car and was on the verge of driving away. But I kept thinking I would go to hell if! left, so I didn't. When I was 21, I did leave for a couple of years, but that made me an outcast in my own family. I couldn't deal with the emotional baggage, so I went back. I didn't make the final break until three years ago. Did you come to feel you had been misled about Mother of God's real nature or purpose? I love my parents, and I think they were trying to do what was best for our family when they moved to the community, but they were misled. The community wasn't what it seemed to be on the surface. I believe now that the community wasn't really about "living life in the spirit;" it was about controlling people's lives and using them for material gain. Ultimately the leaders cared only for themselves. I used to question Mother of God's "teachings," and I was told I was too spiritually immature to understand them. Now I know the teachings didn't make sense; they were a perversion of Christian ideals. When and why did you finally leave? I decided to leave in September 1994. Two years earlier, a friend of mine had tried to tell me about a time when a teacher in the community made sexual advances toward him. I didn't believe it then, but in 1994 I found out it was true. The community's leaders knew about this, and in my opinion they did not handle it well. The whole thing really disturbed me. Then I found out a family I was friends with had decided to leave the community, and I asked why. The father told me the leadership ofthe community was trying to control him and his family. On top of all the other stuff I had been through, that conversation helped open my eyes. I came to see that for all those years, I hadn't been the problem at all. The community was the problem. It was a corrupt system, and I wanted no part of it any more. What's your opinion on whether the group was a cult? I consider myself a cult survivor. From all the reading I have done, I definitely think the Mother of God community was a cult. When I first decided to leave, a friend of mine found a cult book that talked about the control and manipulation in groups like ours. The book's description exactly fit the situation I grew up in. Eventually some of us met with an "exit counselor" who gave us information about cults. She didn't pressure us; she just asked how well the information fit our own experience. I was amazed at what she was saying, because it fit all too well. I began to feel both angry
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and betrayed. I wanted to learn more, and to figure out how to deal with these emotions.
Drawing from your own experience, what's your best advicefor other people who are thinking of joining unusual movements or religious groups?
When anybody approaches you with the key to happiness or the answer to life's problems, don't believe it. Walk away. Be leery of any scheme you are told will bring ultimate fulfillment. Cults can hold any kind of religious philosophy, but not all cults are religious. There are business cults, psychotherapy cults, political cults and others. The official philosophy of these groups is almost a distraction; the real issue is how they function below the surface. If you ever get invited to hear some special leader of a group speak, don't go alone. Cults use your being alone against you. If a group situation makes you uncomfortable, it's much easier to walk out if you're with a friend. Trust your instincts about the group. If you feel something is wrong, you're probably right. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. If total strangers start showering you with affection, be on guard; that could be a cult tactic known as "love bombing." Don't be afraid to ask questions, and press for straight answers about a group. If questions are discouraged, that's a warning bell. Insist on seeing the group's financial statements -- the real ones, not pie charts and bar graphs. Inquire about the hierarchy of the group. Who is the leadership accountable to, and by what mechanism? If things don't seem right, move on. Remember, all of us are trying to figure out the complexities oflife, and trying to be happy. Anybody who claims to have all the answers is lying.
Gary Cummings' e-mail addressisgaryc@doubt.com

Go to Members Page Go to Mother of God main menu
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James Kiernan, 40, joined the Mother of God community when he was 21 years old and spent 15 years there. He now works as a computer programmer in Piscataway, N.J. He and his wife, Valerie, are separated and have two children, ages 11 and 8.
Q. How did you become involved in the Mother of God

community? Before joining Mother of God, I had a profound experience of God's personal love for me. It happened while I was visiting a friend in Nashville and waiting alone in a car. Suddenly I had an overwhelming sense of God's presence, and I understood who God is. It was similar to being in a dark room and having a light turned on. Suddenly, I could see what was in the room. I became acutely aware that God had always existed and had no need of anything or anyone. He could have continued for all eternity without creating anything. The very fact of the universe and my own existence were sheer gifts of God's love. Soon afterward, I sought out the spiritual direction of a Roman Catholic (Carmelite) priest, who referred me to the Mother of God community. I saw other young people like myself who were Catholic and shared having a personal experience of God's love. I also was moved by the music of the community. After a few months, I began to think this was where God was "calling" me to live.
Q. What were your earliest feelings about the community?

I remember thinking the lifestyle was intense. I felt anxious and tired at the same time. There was always some meeting or activity I was expected to attend -- prayer meetings, household meetings, growth groups, Bible studies, Saturday morning work crew, folk group singing, personal prayer, religious reading and study of the community teachings. There was also "States of the Day" writing, in which you shared every intimate detail of your life with some authority. Every day and night I was occupied with a community activity. I hardly ever had a chance to breathe. A couple of times I remember thinking that in stayed in the community, I would lose my mind.
Q. Once you had belonged for a while, did your feelings change, and how?
Yes. My feelings did change a few months after I joined. I began to dislike living in the community and doubt whether I should belong. Whatever issue I was dealing with, it was always raised to a spiritual dimension or plane. As I shared problems about the community with others, my spiritual adviser would instruct me that a spiritual warfare was taking place. "Fight or die," he would say. My sinful nature (the flesh) and the Devil were trying to take me away from God's call to the community. My adviser said my internal conflict was spiritual, which made it hard
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for me to debate concrete issues. I gradually underwent a change of thinking to see things on his spiritual dimension, a process I now realize was thought reform -- a characteristic of a cult. There was never anything wrong with the community, I was told, always with me.
Q. What was your best experience at Mother of God?

Community life was not all black and white. There were times when people were more relaxed and down to earth with each other. Mother of God members spent a lot of time performing for the leaders and each other, trying to live up to the community's ideals. But some of the community summer camping vacations in Pennsylvania and Virginia were fun. I developed friendships as we spent time hiking, fishing, [playing] tennis and singing around the campfire at night. I felt some people took off their masks and became real.
Q. What was your worst experience there?

For me it had to do with how single men and women related. Single men and women were only allowed to be together in groups, never alone. It was the community way of overprotecting us from the Devil and preventing us from sinning. We were taught that sexuality and sexual expression were only meant for marriage. Dating was allowed only when two people were considering marriage. I remember once going on a hiking trip to Old Rag in Virginia with a group of members. As I walked along the path talking to one of the women for a few minutes, one of the woman leaders came up to us and told us to separate, that we were spending too much time together. The control of dating was so strict that many couples barely knew each other before they got married. This eventually led to an arranged marriage for me. After 10 years of marriage, my wife Valerie and I separated in February of this year.
Q. Why didn't you leave when you developed doubts about the group?
My thinking underwent a heavy-duty process of thought reform. It became distorted and sick. I was led to believe that God had called me to the community, and that to leave was to turn my back on God. My advisers also told me that I would "lose my salvation" if I quit. Membership in Mother of God was elevated to the level of a sacrament. Also, I didn't leave because of the experience of God's love I mentioned earlier. That experience motivated me to be willing to suffer for God as a way of proving to God my love for Him because of His love for me.
Q. Did you come to feel you had been misled about Mother of God's real nature or purpose?
Yes. The Mother of God community presented itself as a Catholic organization. Catholic priests belonged, and other Catholic priests from around the world would visit for a spiritual retreats. Most members were Catholic. It published a magazine called The Word Among Us, which had the Catholic "imprimatur" in it. Many years later, the community underwent a review process by Cardinal Hickey of the Diocese of Washington, D.C., because it was requesting to be officially recognized by the Church as a Catholic lay organization. The Cardinal found many things in the community to be incompatible with Catholic teaching, pastoral practice and family
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life. From my experience, the Mother of God community was Catholic in name, but not in practice. Also, the community at first presented itself as a place to grow in holiness and to build genuine Christian relationships and community. A newcomer like me was "love bombed" and made to feel welcome. At some point I think the community lost its focus and stopped appreciating its members. Relationships and family life took a back seat to the leaders' grandiose mission of evangelizing and forming other Communities
When and why did you finally leave?

My decision to leave happened gradually in the years after I married Valerie. I pulled out slowly and stopped going to community activities. One specific event helped me to get on the path to leaving. Soon after I married, I wanted to purchase a house a few blocks away from where most other community members lived. My spiritual adviser told me it was too far away, that I should buy a house closer to the others. When I objected, he tried to impose his authority over me. I agonized for days over whether to be obedient to him (which was considered being obedient to God) or to do what I thought was the right thing to do. I finally broke with the control and decided to do what I wanted: I bought the house. The day I think I finally left the community was when I started reading and hearing other people speak about cults. Everything came into focus, and it became clear to me what I had been involved in.
What's your opinion on whether the group was a cult?

Scott Peck lists 10 characteristics of a cult in his book "Further Along the Road Less Traveled": 1) Idolatry of a single charismatic leader. Edith Difato was often quoted as prophesying or speaking directly for God. Members studied her words as doctrine. 2) A reverenced inner circle. Joe Difato, Jack Difato and a few other leaders were overly regarded above other rank-and-file members. People jealously sought their approval. 3) Secrecy of management. No pretense of accountability. Rather than admit they had erred, many Mother of God leaders left the community when Cardinal Hickey confronted them with some of the teachings that were not according to Catholic doctrine. 4) Financial evasiveness. While I was a member, there was never any financial accountability. I never knew how the leaders were spending money people tithed. 5) Dependency. Authoritarian leadership nurtures the dependency of the followers. Cults tend to discourage the capacity to think for themselves. I was often told by my spiritual head I couldn't trust myself. They always knew what was best for me. I was treated like they were the parent and I was the child. 6) Conformity. Obedience to one's spiritual head was equated with holiness. 7) Special language. The more closely the organization moves toward being a cult,
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the more special this internal language tends to become. We had new "buzz" words almost every week, which only other members could really understand. For example, "headship and submission," "the moral man," "the two Kingdoms." 8) Dogmatic doctrine. I was inundated with new teachings every week that I was supposed to study and pray about and later regurgitate. 9) Heresy. One of the heresies Cardinal Hickey confronted the leaders with was that human nature is depraved and lacking in any goodness or worth. Hickey said "the human person, though wounded by original sin, retains dignity and worth in the eyes of God." 10) God in captivity. Cults in one way or another feel they have God all sewn up. Often leaders and members would say in conversations with other members, particularly when there was a difference of opinion, "God told me .... " I think the Mother of God community exhibited all 10 characteristics, and therefore you can guess what my answer is to the question. Drawing from your own experience, what's your best advice for other people who are thinking of joining unusual movements or religious groups? My best advice for someone thinking about joining a group like the Mother of God community is very simple: Don't. Or see your doctor about getting a lobotomy. Seriously, I think people need education about cults, especially young people. People in their teens or early 20s are very susceptible to getting pulled in because that is a time of tremendous anxiety and searching for meaning. In high school or freshman year in college, students should be required to take a course in cult education. Knowledge is the key to prevention. Jim Kiernan's e-mail address is Jkiernan@pop.ieee.org. Go to Members Page Go to Mother of God main menu
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Steve Valentino, 35, joined the Mother of God community as a junior in high school in March 1978 and belonged for almost 18 years. He works as a computer services broker in Maryland. He and his wife, Cindy, have four children. How did you become involved in the Mother of God community? When I was 16 and again at 17, I went to a concert by a Mother of God singing group, Two-Edged Sword, at my high school. It was my first exposure to the community. Soon I began talking to one of my teachers, Judith Tydings, about my experiences of personal prayer, the Bible and a personal relationship with Christ. She invited me to a Mother of God prayer meeting the next week. I attended and immediately fell in love with the deep sense of joy and with God's evident blessing. What were your earliest feelings about the community? Initially, my feelings about the community were that it was a safe haven, a holy and secure place where people loved God and what he had done in their lives. It would become a place for me where I no longer had to be overly concerned with what others might think of me and instead could rest comfortably in the knowledge that Christ loved me, he died for my sins, and he gave me eternal life. Over time, this sense of joy and self-worth deepened and matured. The Bible became clearer to me, and I came to understand how much God loves and values each one of us as his very own. Once you had belonged for a while, did your feelings change, and how? Over time, my appreciation of the Mother of God community and the wisdom and insight of its leaders continued to grow. My relationship with Christ and association with the community was a "precious pearl" to me. Trying to follow the Lord and conform your life to many of the standards that the Bible teaches is no easy task for anyone, but it was always worth it. As I matured as a young adult and as a Christian at the same time, I began to experience many of the things Christ taught in scripture in ways I had never known before. For me, Mother of God evolved into a deeply satisfying and nurturing place, where the Word of God was taught and defended, where I experienced a deep understanding of God's love and direction for my life. I believed it was a place God was using to reach out across the world and eventually touch people's lives everywhere. What was your best experience at Mother of God? I had several that I'd say tied for first place. Through the charismatic gift of baptism
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in the Holy Spirit in 1979, I began experiencing joy in living my life every day that I had not known before, and an awakening within myself of the power of Christ to heal many emotional scars I had from my early years, before I joined Mother of God. Another high point was my wedding day and the conviction my wife and I share in Christ's call for our lives. Each of the births of our four children was a peak experience, as was watching them grow to know and love God. I enjoyed the ongoing fellowship and love I experienced in many of the relationships that I had and still have with Mother of God people. Finally, a high moment was being present at the dedication of the new buildings to be used for the new community school and The Word Among Us magazine many years ago. What was your worst experience there? My worst experience was simply, at the end of the community, witnessing the diabolical campaign of venom, slander and hurt waged by a rather vocal minority bent on assigning blame to anyone but themselves for the problems in their lives. Vicious rumors were spread by a few with one senseless aim in mind: toppling what God had blessed and raised up. Did you ever develop serious doubts about the group? No. The only concern I had was not for the group as a whole or for the direction the leadership was taking, but rather for some individuals I had come to know who lacked an appreciation of the history of the Mother of God community and its vision and purpose in the world. I certainly knew the community as a nice and wonderful place to be a part of, but it was also much more than just that. The world is constantly changing, and while many members and the leaders were very diligent and prayerful in their approach to seeking out God's will for the community, the indifferent attitude on the part of some members during the latter years caused me concern that they eventually would wish to water down the message of salvation in Christ that we stood for. What do you make of the complaints that have surfaced about Mother of God in recent years? Of the complaints that I have heard, and having been a first-hand witness to a number of supposed events in question, it may be easier if! try to answer this question with an analogy: Imagine that of an embittered, disturbed, "policeman-wannabe" seeking the death penalty for an entire city because a mayor of the city once went 60 miles an hour in a 55 mph zone on his way to trying to help one of its citizens. I'm not saying we never made mistakes, but the campaign that has arisen in the community is not unlike that of a tank of piranhas in a feeding frenzy! At least a piranha seems happy after it has torn one life apart. When and why did you finally leave? In my heart, I left the day that Cardinal James Hickey came and "lowered the boom" on the community, its leaders and teachings as I knew and loved them. Oddly enough, it was only because of the community that I had come to love and respect the Catholic Church and its sacraments as I did. My last position of service in the
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community was as an elected member of the committee writing official statutes for Mother of God. What caused me to finally decide to resign from the community was that, within the statutes committee, I and others had witnessed obvious "power plays" and deception designed to manipulate and improperly influence the cardinal, and perpetuate rumors that had already been disproven. At that point, I realized that truth itself was on trial and had suffered a mighty blow -- one that I believe saddened and grieved the Lord most of all. What's your opinion on whether the group was a cult? Absurd! Sorry, I won't even dignify the question with any attention other than to point out what has been obvious for all the world to see for the last 30 years. We had weekly prayer meetings open to the public; we had hundreds of thousands of people every year receiving The Word Among Us magazine, which contained the heart of much of the community'S teaching; we operated under the watchful eye of many denominations and of the archdiocese of Washington, as well as many bishops and cardinals worldwide; we established outreaches in various forms all over the world; many marriages were blessed, and individuals were healed of divisions and emotional strife in their families; countless thousands came and were touched by God in some way and went back to their various locales, all of whom would testify as to the wonderful work of God present in the people's lives here. Looking back, do you see anything Mother of God's leaders could have done to avoid the kinds of problems that ultimately destroyed the community? I don't believe that the leaders could have done very much to change the course of events at all, because I don't believe the problem was very much rooted in anything the community itself or its leaders ever did or tried to do. I experienced many miraculous changes in my life while in Mother of God, and I thank God for the leaders' tireless service to us all. The only thing I would have suggested differently to them would be that in the end, they would not have been so cautious and protective even of the people who were obviously out to hurt them; perhaps they could have confronted some of the early rumors head-on, even ifan accuser may have been embarrassed in the process. Even though all the rumors that I heard were later proved to be worthless and utter nonsense, the problem as I saw it was that a feeding frenzy ensued which gave rise to further rumors, and so on. It became a no-win situation, and a sad testimony to you, world, I know. It's even sadder to me. Go to Members Page Go to Mother of God main menu
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James Cardinal Hickey Address to Mother of God Community September 23, 1995 CONFIDENTIAL DOCUMENT RESERVED TO THE MEMBERS OF THE MOTHER OF GOD COMMUNITY Dear friends in Christ, Let's begin with a prayer. Heavenly Father, we come before you this day bearing in our hearts a deep love for this community as well as our concerns. We ask you, 0 Lord, to send upon us Your Holy Spirit so that in all we say and do we may follow Your Son, Our Lord, Jesus Christ, "the way, the truth and the life," who speaks to us through the Church. Give us, Lord, hearts that are humble, courageous and open so that we may preserve what is good and change what must be changed and do all this in a spirit of love for you, Our Heavenly Father, for one another and for the entire Church, the Body of Christ. Through the overshadowing of Your Holy Spirit, may we receive Your Word and know Your will, as did Mary, the Mother of God. Give us hearts like that of Mary whom we claim as our Mother and our Patron. We ask this, through Christ Our Lord.
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Dear friends, with me today is Bishop Lori. Father George Kirwin, an Oblate of Mary Immaculate, and President of Oblate College in Washington was with me earlier but was obliged to depart because of two previously scheduled weddings. Later on I will speak to you more about him and the role I am asking him to assume. I wanted this opportunity to speak personally with you today as the assessment process draws to a close. I come to you this day in love and respect. I come to you this day as your pastor; I come in truth and in love.
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Let me first affirm my belief that the Mother of God Community is a gift from the Lord. I want to recognize the gifts which the Lord has given you during these past three decades. Through this community, you and so many others have striven to take your faith much more seriously, to grow in your relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. There has been a sincere attempt to be open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit as you strive to lead a truly Christian life, not just on Sundays but every day of the week. On a more personal note, I remember so well your participation in the special celebration at the National Shrine to welcome me as Archbishop of Washington back in 1980. I especially remember the young people and their joy in the Lord. I remember as well my visits with members of the community through the years. I recognize the contributions of the priests of the Community to the Archdiocese and to its many ministries. And so I come among you not as a stranger, but rather as pastor and as friend. It is in a spirit of respect and love, that I will share my concerns -- not in a spirit of blame or retribution. It is in that spirit that I will ask for some changes which I believe will promote the authentically Catholic spirit of this Mother of God Community. If, at times, it seemed that the assessment process focused too much on the negative aspects of the Community, I want to assure you I have not lost sight of the positive aspects nor of the vision and insight that brought the Community into existence. Yet it is my responsibility as your pastor to address forthrightly whatever needs correction and change. In sharing concerns and asking for changes, I recognize that the Mother of God has always had an ecumenical outreach and that some of you belong to other Christian confessions -Episcopalians, Methodists, Baptists, Presbyterians and Pentecostals. I speak respectfully to those of you who are not of the Catholic faith. And such respect demands that I speak to you clearly even as I speak to all Catholics who are present here about the Catholic roots and identity of this community. I shall ask for full fidelity to the teaching of the Church. Teaching The first duty of every bishop is to be the teacher of his people in the ways of faith. My responsibility is to ensure that all the people entrusted to my care have a genuine understanding of what the Church believes and teaches. As a bishop for nearly three decades, I can attest that this is a challenging calling, and one that I take very seriously. And I take it very seriously in my parishes and in the schools of the Archdiocese. I take it very seriously in the universities and institutes of higher learning in the Archdiocese. And I take this same responsibility very seriously in your regard as well. I have spent much time studying the teachings of the Mother of God Community. I have listened to tapes and I have read letters; I have studied reports and transcripts; I have spent long hours of prayer and discernment. I do find that there are misunderstandings in the Community about what the Church teaches. There is an urgent need to ensure that community teachings fully reflect the living faith of the Church as expressed in the Catechism of the Catholic Church. The Church's doctrinal teaching is not taught and studied fully and systematically within the Community. What is not said is just as important as what is said. Any preaching and instruction that fails to draw its foundation and inspiration from the magisterium of the Church runs the risk of not being of the Holy Spirit. I am particularly concerned that young people, children, adolescents and young adults, lack a solid foundation in the Church teaching. Many older members came to the community well instructed in the
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basic truths of the faith and were better able to integrate community teachings into their life of faith. But younger people have not had the benefit of a full and systematic instruction in the faith; yet the faith of the Church, in its entirety, is their rightful heritage as baptized Catholics. More specifically, I believe there is a great need to clarify the meaning of "baptism in the Spirit" as it relates to all the sacraments, but especially in relationship to sacramental baptism and the sacrament of confirmation. Sacramental baptism is recognized by all Christians -Catholic, Orthodox, mainline Protestant churches as the principal sacrament of initiation and the foundation of the Christian life. "Baptism in the Spirit," a gift characteristic of the charismatic renewal, helps one live out the call to holiness received in baptism; it helps to revivify the divine gifts received in sacramental baptism, in the other sacraments and in the entire tradition of the Church. However, "baptism in the Spirit" is not essential to the Christian life; those who do not receive "baptism in the Spirit" are not second-class Christians! There is also need to clarify and strengthen the community's understanding of the centrality of the Eucharist which the Second Vatican Council taught is "the source and summit of the Christian life." [SC,8] Indeed the Eucharist is much more necessary than the Sunday prayer meetings, good as those may be. I know that you go to Sunday Mass; many of you attend Mass on weekdays. But the materials I have read convince me that too many see the prayer meeting as more central, more satisfying, more important than the Eucharist. There is need for a clear and consistent formation to guide your deepening faith to full, active and conscious participation in the Eucharist as the "source and summit of the Christian life. "(SC 8, 14). So also there is need for a better grasp of the crucial role ofa frequent reception of the sacrament of penance in the spiritual life. Community teaching needs to re-focus itself and to anchor itself much more firmly in the sacramental life of the Church. There is also need to clarify for the members of this community the authentic Catholic understanding of the essential goodness of creation and the dignity of the human person, a point so central in the Holy Father's teaching and in the long tradition of the Church. The Catholic Church teaches that the human person, though wounded by original sin, retains dignity and worth in the eyes of God. It is true that the human intellect is darkened, that we experience a leaning toward evil; indeed we are incapable of saving ourselves! However, it is erroneous to speak of human nature as "depraved", as lacking in any goodness or worth. In our Catholic tradition, God's grace heals and builds on our human nature as we die and rise in Christ. And even our darkened intellect can know something of God and of his truth. [cf GS,13] Every effort must be made to achieve a correct understanding of marriage -- including the equality of the spouses and the rights and duties of parents in natural law and in the teaching of the Church. There are serious theological and pastoral dangers from delving into literature and practices drawn from fundamentalist groups often deeply hostile to the Catholic Church. I have deep concerns about the Toronto Blessing, from the Vineyard Church, "resting in the Spirit" -- as practiced in the Mother of God Community. I know some of you feel that this practice has been beneficial; nonetheless it has proven to be divisive for this community and is theologically questionable. I now ask you to cease its use as of this day and until such time as I can discuss this matter further with theologians and spiritual directors as well as with
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Father Peter Hocken. But to be perfectly candid, I do have grave reservations about this practice. The true union among Christians, which as Catholics we all must seek, will happen only by our being true to the faith of our Church. In order to address these problems, I ask that a new systematic catechesis based on the Catechism of the Catholic Church be undertaken for the whole community. The priests have acknowledged deficiencies and omissions in community teaching and have also acknowledged their responsibility in not correcting and guarding against those deficiencies. Because of their awareness of the problems which I have outlined and because of their renewed resolve to strengthen your life of faith, I shall designate the priests, together with other qualified community members, to give teaching that shall cover doctrine, worship, morality and spirituality. I am asking the community to accept, without reservation, the Catechism, a truly anointed teaching, which the Holy Father has given to all of us as the sure norm of belief and instruction. Let me also say a word about the teachings at the Sunday night prayer meetings. I am asking that community members who are well-trained in theology take a much more active role in reviewing such teachings as are prepared ahead of time and in gently but firmly correcting spontaneous teaching that contains errors or statements that may lead to misunderstanding. Any teaching that does not clearly reflect the fullness of the Church's teaching risks not being of the Holy Spirit. In addition, I ask that the Mother of God School take steps to be affiliated with the Archdiocesan School System. This helps to ensure compliance of this school with all that is required of every Catholic school in this Archdiocese. I am asking my Superintendent of Schools, Lawrence Callahan, and Father Charles Parry, my Assistant Secretary for Catholic Education, to visit the Mother of God School and to prepare an evaluation for my review. We will work with you to ensure that the Mother of God School not only meets appropriate standards and follows sound policies but most importantly that it presents authentic Catholic teaching as befits a truly Catholic school. Pastoral Practice Teaching and pastoral practice are very closely allied. Again, I speak to you as a pastor, as one who spent almost fifty years in one or another pastoral role, as a parish priest, as seminary rector and as a diocesan bishop for nearly three decades. I can tell you this: to provide good spiritual direction, sound guidance, and compassionate help is a very challenging work. For in engaging in this ministry, we are not simply dealing with externals but with the very mind and heart of those we seek to serve. We are dealing with the conscience, that secret, inmost core of the person, that privileged sanctuary where each of us is alone with God and where His voice echoes in our hearts. [GS,16] This work is more delicate and demanding than that of any surgeon! That is why the Church has always demanded that anyone who offers pastoral care be carefully trained, not only in theology but in the very art of caring for the human soul. The Church always insists that those who engage in pastoral work fully respect the legitimate autonomy and freedom of those they are working with; it has always insisted that relationships between spouses and between parents and children be respected and fostered in all cases but especially whenever pastoral care is given and received. It also insists, with greatest clarity, that people receiving pastoral care
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have a right to privacy and confidentiality. That applies in the strictest way to the confessional, as we know; but it also applies to various forms of spiritual direction, counseling and other efforts to enable people to come to terms with all that impedes them from following Christ. The Church also insists that those in authority exercise their responsibility with love, care and restraint. Some of you have attested that they have benefitted from pastoral care in the community as they understand it. Others have experienced very serious problems; still others have had a mixed reaction to the pastoral care they have received. Yet, as your pastor, I must address the very serious difficulties which many people have shared with me . .After careful study, I have come to the conclusion that the very notion of pastoral care needs to be clarified for the community at large. There is need to understand the goals and methods of authentic pastoral care. It is not a detailed series of directives to be obeyed but rather a healing of the soul centered around the Word of God as it comes to us through the Church and the sacraments of the Church. In the pastoral care of this community, members were led to speak of very personal things in a manner that did not protect their right to privacy and confidentiality and which had the effect ofleaving them vulnerable. Great damage has resulted from this. In addition, I am concerned that the authority of those giving pastoral care be clearly understood and properly limited. No private individual can say that he or she presents the absolute will of God for another person in life's personal decisions. Unlike bishops and religious superiors, no lay leader has a right to demand religious obedience from a fellow adult lay Catholic. We can help each other on the journey but we must all walk in freedom! Because of my deep concerns for you, I require that the pastoral care now being offered by the current community leadership, including region heads, coordinators, and other small groupings for pastoral care and direction be discontinued at once. Of course, small gatherings for prayer can continue; but in these groups it must be understood that all participants are of equal rank; and the practice of "headship" must be stopped in all its forms. All current covenant and associate agreements, including any continuing relationships of the Unio Crucis, are to be terminated until the Statutes are completed and approved. I invite the priests of the community to work closely with myself, Father Kirwin and Bishop Lori in providing sound pastoral care for the community. They will work under my authorization and along lines which I shall indicate. I esteem the three priests currently serving you and I know they are very much a part of the life of this community. I want them to remain be with you during this difficult time of renewal. As the future unfolds, I also want to ensure that anyone else who provides pastoral care is well-trained in theology and other necessary skills. The pastoral needs of this community are many. In addition to the need for sound teaching, the community suffers from a lack of charity for one another; from the failure to reach out in reconciliation; from anger, suspicion, slander and fear; from being judgmental of one another and of those who are not members of the community. The words of St. Paul come to mind: "If you go snapping at each other and tearing each other to pieces, you had better watch or you will destroy the whole community." (Gal. 5: 14). All these sinful tendencies need to be healed for they are not of the Holy Spirit.
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For the immediate future, special efforts must be made to bring about reconciliation within families, some of whom find themselves at odds. There is also need to make available the services of trained counselors from outside the community to offer anyone who wants it the opportunity to share the burdens of their mind and heart without fear or hesitation. We need to be especially conscious of the children and young people in the community, some of whom have been seriously harmed by the systematic undermining of parental authority. We need to be attentive to their needs, especially by working hard to strengthen their relationships with their parents. I also require, out of love and respect for one another, that anyone who has personal information about other members -- in notebooks, in computer files, in whatever form, that you destroy it, lest it be the source of future embarrassment or harm. All of you must cease using any personal information about others gained from previous pastoral practices. Leadership This morning also, I must speak to you not only about teaching and pastoral care, but also about the leadership of the community. I know this is a very delicate and difficult area and I have given it much thought and prayer. First, I want to recognize the dedication of so many who have worked at various levels of leadership within the community. I know of your desire to live the faith in a very intense way and to help others to do the same. Yet in every community made up of human beings -- whether it is a diocese, a parish, a religious community or any other type of community -- there is need for periodic change in leadership. It is not good for any community when a relatively small group is always in charge of all aspects of community life -- teaching, pastoral care, policies, funds, etc. Next month, when I am in Rome, upon my 75th birthday, I will submit my own resignation to the Holy Father and simply put myself at his disposition for however long or short a time he wants me to serve as your Archbishop. The Church recognizes the need to rotate leadership at every level. That is why, in 1993, when I was asked to give recognition to the Mother of God Community as an association of the faithful, I directed that steps be taken for an orderly rotation and change in leadership. Unfortunately, that directive was not made known widely to the community nor was its goal achieved. The assessment process confirmed my original perception of three years ago that a change ofleadership is not only wise but indeed necessary. As one deeply concerned for the welfare of this community, I judge it necessary to ask that some in leadership positions step aside for a period of three months. This includes coordinators and region heads. During this period I will be in conversation with Joe and Edie. I also have serious concerns about the Corporations which I shall address in the coming months. It is above all important that we begin the process of enabling all of you, as a community, to define in a better way the role of leaders; and when the Statutes are completed and approved by me, then you will be enabled to elect your own leaders. However, when elections do take place, I must reiterate what I asked for in 1993 -- there must be a change in leadership. In the meantime, I ask the following individuals to provide interim leadership to the Community on a day by day basis for the next six months until the statutes are completed and approved, and new leaders are elected. They include:
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1) Mr. Robert Roche 2) Mrs. Marjorie MacLeod 3) Mr. Stephen Miletic 4) Mr. Anthony Bosnick 5) and a younger member of the community, possibly someone from the current Region #3. I have asked Mr. Roche to chair this interim leadership team. I ask that these leaders take up their duties immediately. The functioning of this temporary leadership will be crucial until permanent leadership is installed. Your interim leaders will work with you and me to ensure that the vision and spirituality of the Mother of God Community be enhanced and forwarded. Your interim leaders will work closely with Father George Kirwin, OMI, of whom I spoke at the beginning of my address. Because of his prior experience, I have asked him to assist the Mother of God Community during this time of transition. Father Kirwin is President of Oblate College in Washington; he is a trained theologian, a former Provincial and a man of proven wisdom and love for the Church. Father's role will be to oversee the implementation of what I am asking of the community. I have also asked your interim leaders to select an advisory board of about ten members to represent various segments of the community. Their role is to listen to all of you, and to meet with the interim leaders on a regular basis to share their concerns in an orderly and charitable manner. In addition, as I have already mentioned the priests will continue to serve the community in a pastoral role, especially as teachers and spiritual directors. I also ask Father Peter Hocken to serve as your interim Chaplain for the next six months; he is to work closely with you and your interim leaders. As Chaplain, he bears special responsibility for the pastoral care of the Community in the months ahead. As I mentioned, already in 1993 I asked that Statutes be drawn up as a prerequisite to the Community'S gaining definitive recognition as an association of the faithful. I ask that the Statutes Committee continue to function under the direction of the interim leaders. This committee is to follow the directives which I give today; its members also need to take into account the strengths, problems and recommendations which surfaced in the assessment process. They are charged to write Statutes that describe well the gifts and goals of the community; but it is also important that the Statutes protect the dignity and rights of members as well as the responsibilities and limits of those who serve as leaders. I ask Father Theo Rush to continue working with the Statutes Committee. The good of your community also demands a careful review of community corporations, the Potomac Charismatic Community, Incorporated and the Word Among Us, Incorporated. For the protection of all, however, I will be asking that the corporations undergo a comprehensive legal audit going back to the very beginning of each organization. I also ask that the corporations have a comprehensive financial audit covering a period of ten years.
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These audits should be available for all the members to read. Members of the community should be aware of any changes in board membership. They should be aware of the assets of these corporations. There should be no attempt to sell assets, to transfer assets or to dissolve these corporations during the coming months. Policies regarding the operation of these corporations must be clarified with input from the entire community. In general, there is a great need for much more community input regarding these corporations. As members of the community, you need to know much more about the finances of the community and have a say in the disposition of community resources. So also there is need to develop fair and consistent policies on matters such as pay scales and benefits for those employed by the Community. In no way is it my desire to be directly responsible for the corporate affairs of the community nor control its assets. I would be less than responsible, however, ifI did not insist that your community, as a non profit organization, follow the same high standards that I have set for the corporations of the Archdiocese. I ask of you nothing that I do not ask of myself and my co-workers.
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Conclusion As I come to the conclusion of these remarks, I want to make the canonical status of this community clear. In 1993, I gave a tentative three year recognition to the Mother of God Community as a private association of the faithful. In January 1996, that three-year period will be over. As of this time, I am NOT withdrawing recognition but I will continue recognition until the end of April 1996, to give your community the opportunity to implement all that I have asked of you today. It is the responsibility of the interim leadership to implement these directives. I will ask the opinion of your interim leaders and rely on the judgment of Father Kirwin in reaching my own judgment about whether or not these directives have been adequately carried out. I must say, in all candor, that if I judge that they have not carried out in adequate fashion, I shall withdraw my recognition. I do not want to take that step; rather, it is my hope that we shall work together to strengthen the community now and in the years ahead. I want to assure you that I shall be praying for all of you and working closely with your interim leaders. I know these past months have been painful for you; and I grieve over the difficulties which surfaced. Now I ask your wholehearted cooperation in remedying these difficulties and deficiencies. In many times past, I have received from your leaders and from many of you, expressions of your loyalty and love. I have received assurances of your readiness to follow whatever directives I deem best. Please know I have reached these directives after much prayer and discernment. I know some of them are difficult and it will take much patience and love to work them out. Again, I ask your cooperation, your prayers and your love. Together, let us beseech the intercession of Mary, the Mother of God and patroness of this community. In union with our Holy Father and with all the Church, let us continue our journey to the Kingdom where Christ lives and reigns with the Father in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever.
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MOTHER OF GOD COMMUNITY COVENANT

Remembering and celebrating those acts of God by which he, in his sovereign love and mercy, called the patriarchs and covenanted himself to them and finally, through Moses, rescued his people and established that covenant between himself and Israel that made them "a Kingdom of priests and holy nation" (Exodus 19:6); Honoring in awe and gratitude that act oflove in which Jesus, the Son of God, brought about the New Covenant in his blood by giving us the Holy Spirit from his throne at the right hand ofthe Father (see Acts 2:33); Knowing that by God's work in our lives we have become members of his holy people, the Body of Christ, and rejoicing in that privilege even while we acknowledge the responsibility it entails; And now, believing that God has wished to establish a covenant with us, uniting us to him and to one another, and making us a community within the Body of Christ in order to live out the New Covenant in Jesus' blood in a specific way by the power of the Holy Spirit, we desire to accept his call and commit our lives to his purposes, relying on his love and his grace to complete in us the work he has begun.
I have been created by God the Father Almighty in, through and for his Son, Jesus Christ (Colossians 1: 16). I acknowledge that my nature is fallen and that I share in the sin of Adam (Romans 5:12). I believe that I am saved by the atoning death of Jesus on the Cross and that my sins are washed away by his Blood (Hebrews 9: 14). I confess that in the resurrection of Jesus I have received new life (Ephesians 2:5). I believe that I am baptized in the Holy Spirit (Acts 1:4-5). I believe that the Holy Spirit dwells within me as his temple (J Corinthians 3: 16). I believe that the same Spirit dwells within my brothers and sisters in Jesus Christ (Ephesians 2:21-22). a. I will love my brothers and sisters in the Mother of God community (Romans 13:8; 1 Peter 4:8).
I. I believe that
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b. I will be faithful to a daily prayer life (Psalm 119: 164; Luke 18: 1; 1 Thessalonians 5: 17). c. I will be faithful to daily Scripture reading (2 Timothy 3:16). d. I promise to grow in fellowship with my brothers and sisters in the community, especially with those in my household and in my cluster (Ephesians 4:3; 15-16). God has called me to belong to the Mother of God community. I recognize that God has anointed the teaching of the community through which I have received new life. I therefore freely commit myself to the order of the Mother of God community. I accept the pastoral authority of the Coordinators, the Regional Heads, the Household Heads, the Cluster Heads, and the Heads of the other major community functions and services (1 Thessalonians 5:12-13). a. I will respect and pray for all these leaders, who have spoken the word of God to me (Hebrews 13:7). b. I promise to pray with, work with, and obey the Coordinators and those appointed by them to have pastoral responsibility for my salvation and my personal growth (Hebrews 13:17). c. I will live within my means financially. I accept my responsibility to support the community financially (2 Corinthians 9:6-11).
II. I believe that
III. I accept
my responsibility as a member of Mother of God community to playa part in and to support the programs of initiation and formation within the community. In particular, I accept the responsibility for those services to which I am assigned. a. I will pray regularly for the Sunday evening prayer meetings. b. I will play an active role in community meetings (Hebrews 10:25;1 Peter 1:13). is based on obedience to God's law and on a positive seeking out of God's will in daily prayer. I promise to be faithful to the commandments of God and to the teachings of Jesus on loving God and loving the brethren. a. I promise to love, correct, admonish and exhort my brothers and sisters in Mother of God community for their growth in sanctity, and I promise to accept their love, correction, admonishment and exhortation for my personal growth (Galatians 6:1; Hebrews 3:13; James 5:19-20). b. I will work and pray for the upbuilding of the whole body of the community (1 Corinthians 12).
IV. This covenant
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c. As a follower of Jesus Christ, who came not to be served but to serve (Mary 10:45), I promise to serve my brothers and sisters in the community and to seek to give as well and to receive (Acts 20: 35). d. I clearly understand that there is no place in the community for slander and gossip as these destroy the Body of Christ (Galatians 5:15; 1 Peter 2:1). e. I will examine my conscience each day (Psalm 26:2; 2 Corinthians 13:5).
V. I believe that the Mother
of God community is a gift of the Holy Spirit to the Church, the Body of Christ. I believe that God has given the Mother of God community a commission to preach the truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, to be a light to the world (Matthew 5:14-16), and to hold out to all people the Word of Life (Philippians 2:16). a. I promise to seek out and obey the Lord's plan for the Mother of God community in the restoration of his people through the Gospel (Philippians 2:19-23). b. I accept my responsibility for the world and I will pray and work for the salvation of all men and women (1 Timothy 2:1-4). c. I am willing to place the Lord's concerns for the church and the world ahead of my personal needs and desires (2 Corinthians 4:5). d. I commit myself to the work of evangelism (Matthew 28:19-20).
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Editor's note: This document appears here unedited.
INFORMATION 1. INITIAL STAGES Information gathering
GATHERING
begins in the Greeter's Room
1. Through conversation about seemingly mundane topics - job, background, home life, previous attendance at any prayer meeting, etc. -- it is possible to find out much about a person and how he looks on life. We do not want to get too personal in our conversations so as to appear to be prying, but we do want to both make it clear that we are interested in developing a friendship with them and gather information. The type of information we are looking for includes: - Name (first and last) - Age - Phone number - Educational background - Occupation (this, in combination with age, can say much about a person's level of maturity, responsibility, social skills, etc.) - Family (also an area where a little bit says a lot -- divorces strong family background, ties, etc.) - General measurement of social skills - General measurement of psychological make-up - Living situation - Religious background, if any - Any previous experience of Christ? - Why did they come to the prayer meeting? With whom? This information should all be sought after. It is necessary for us to know our people as well as possible, so as to determine their disposition to receiving the Lord at the present time, their appropriateness and readiness for Growing In Faith Seminar, and as some measurement of their ultimate potential in service to the Lord. Also, the Mother of God member who first brought the individual to the Sunday Night Prayer Meeting might be a valuable source of information. We cannot evangelize a person who does not first believe in God. Therefore it is important
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to determine this as the evangelization process begins. If he does not believe in God, there are three possible reasons for the existing situation and the proper one must be identified: 1. Due to the education (or lack of education) he has received, he does not believe in a supreme being. Many people have been seriously affected by the theory of evolution.
2. As a result of some event or bad information that he has received, the individual
may possess hatred for God. Perhaps the death of a loved one or some similarly harsh experience coupled with incorrect information has produced this situation. 3. A Christian who goes to church out of habit may essentially have no faith in God, no belief in the Gospel message. In order that any of the above three categories of people be evangelized properly, the root of their disbelief must be ascertained and approached. Note on gathering information: It should be noted that most of this information can be gathered in the context of a routine conversation. We should not make people feel as though they are responding to a survey. Most people will not fmd general questions about their work, their religious background e.g. "have you ever been to a prayer meeting before?" etc. to be offensive. If we are caring for them, they will almost be glad to talk about themselves. The more perceptive we are and the more we ask the right questions and know what to look for, the more painlessly and thoroughly we will be able to gather information. It is a good idea to discuss a person's particular interest -- this will give us an idea of how he thinks and if he is casually volunteering information in this area of interest, he may along with it disclose some of his background. II. Greater Depth Once an individual reaches Growing In Faith, more in-depth information is needed. He has decided to take a further step in pursuing the Gospel message, and God's plan for his life. Therefore, as the individual initiated and formed into the Christian life, he needs a greater measure of attention. The information obtained by the Greeter's team is readily available to the appropriate Growing In Faith team member. But in the normal course of getting to know the Growing In Faith attendee, this same ground will need to be covered. All areas of the individuals life should be covered. Not all areas listed below should be dealt with in Growing In Faith. But all should be known by the discussion leader for one who is underway in Growing In Faith the purpose being to know the person inside out so that "billion dollar control" is possible. If in caring for an individual it is appropriate to discuss and offer advice on certain areas of his life, this should be done. Therefore, find out both their history and current status in the following areas. a) Family relationships -- especially deficiencies on the part of parents, broken homes, divorce, etc. Does he come from a strong, healthy family background which will be an
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asset to his growth? b) Friends -- what sort of group did/does he "hang out" with? Has he been a loner? Is he subject to a great deal of peer pressure? Does he tend to create healthy relationships? c) Job (and its atmosphere) -- how important is career to this person? Is he currently employed? Any recent setbacks? Does the nature of his job reveal something about his natural abilities? d) School -- how well has he done? Is he a good student? Is he a frustrated student? Will this be a cause for distraction? e) Involvement with drugs, premarital sex, homosexuality, the occult, criminal offenses, alcohol -- when and for how long? How has this affected his life? f) Current living situation -- broad picture? g) Motivations, aspirations and interests -- what are his plans for the future? Is he apathetic? Does he possess a great deal of energy? How does he spend his time? Is he a "go-getter?" h) Wealth problems i) Fears, phobias, inhibitions, shyness, etc. Any particularly good personality traits? j) Religious background? k) Has the Lord touched his life in some way previous to now? 1)Is he able to think clearly and make decisions? m) Currently in a dating situation? For married couples. the list is extended
n) Married how long? 0) Any children? How many? Ages? p) Previous marriage? Separations? q) Sexual abuses within the marriage? Abortion? r) Measure of proper or improper headship? s) Isolation from spouse? t) State of children? u) Spouse's status with Sunday Night commitment? v) Marriage blessed by Church? w) Finances in good order? (lfnot, this might be a source of tremendous distraction) x) Club or society memberships? y) Working mothers -- full or part time. For all of the above areas, it would be disastrous to blatantly approach an individual with direct questions. It must be realized that specific questions do not need to be, and in fact, should not be asked. How is this information to be found out? The information should be gathered during the normal course of conversation. Any hints or allusions to any of the above areas can be quietly pursued or even simply stored away in the team member's memory for future reference. They only time these areas should receive attention is if they are in some way inhibiting the individual's growth. How does this work? Here are some examples.
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A. John entered the Growing In Faith seminar. He is about 30 years old. During a telephone conversation with John his buddy picked up on John's mention of taking his daughter horseback riding every weekend. John's buddy recalled that John doesn't wear a wedding ring. Now his buddy has two clues to the fact that John might be separated or divorced. This further led to the discovery that John was very unstable, and later he brought up the fact that he was a member of AA. B. Sue had been in the Growing In Faith seminar for a few weeks. When she and her buddy went out for a bite to eat one evening, Sue mentioned that she can't eat most of the things on the menu -- her stomach can't take it. Sue's buddy remembered how Sue often seems nervous and uneasy. Maybe Sue has an ulcer? A few tactful questions revealed a whole history of nervousness related problems and a not-so-hot family background. Both of these examples are true. It might be that these situations should not normally be dealt with in Growing In Faith. But in both instances these areas turned out to be a tremendous impediment to the individual's growth and provided clues about how fast they could be moved along in the formation process. Members of Growing In Faith are evangelists, not counselors. It must be understood that this information is not for the purpose of counseling and therefore should not be asked in this way. We must be on guard against this tendency which is in all of us. The purpose is to know the individual as well as possible. It is not our purpose to psycho-analyze those who go through Growing In Faith. But it is our purpose to care for our new brother and sister and to do everything we can to help them to grow. It is essential that all the information gathered in Growing In Faith be stored. This is for two reasons. 1. In order to discern whether or not it is appropriate for an individual to go through Life In The Spirit this information can be vital. For instance, if a person is basically unstable or rebellious, it would not be right for him to enter the Life In The Spirit seminar, where he will be, essentially, prepared to receive the power which will equip him to serve in the body of Christ.
2. These areas will all receive attention in Life In The Spirit. For the person to be
competently cared for, not one iota of this information can be lost. III. Weekly Information Gathering
For one who is in Growing In Faith, there is certain information that needs to be obtained on a weekly basis. The purpose of the questions/topics which follow is two-fold: 1. To gather pertinent information. 2. To give the team member an opportunity to foster some measure of growth, desire, or achievement in the individual. Team members, by the nature of their calling, are dedicated to seeing those in their charge grow in their love for, knowledge of, and service to the Lord Jesus Christ. These questions therefore, are not an end in themselves but rather a means to spark growth.
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A. What happened at this week's prayer meeting? What did the individual see the Lord do in his life? Did he hear the Lord speak specifically to him? The individual should be approached immediately after the prayer meeting to get an initial response. Later on in the week, this area should be pursued. B. What about the teaching from the seminar and prayer meeting? Specific questions geared towards the teaching can reveal a number of things: 1. Measure retention. 2. Did he accept or reject the teaching? 3. Clarity or confusion? 4. Measure implementation. 5. Did he experience God working in his life through this teaching? C. Prayer life 1. Is he praying regularly? Ask this in order to measure growth and commitment. 2. Did he hear the Lord speak to him? 3. Growth in understanding of the definition of prayer. Has he embraced it and implemented it? D. Scripture 1. Is he reading the sacred Scriptures regularly? 2. Are his eyes being opened as he reads? That is, is he hearing the Lord speak through the Scriptures? 3, Are the Scripture passages that are appropriate to the teaching being read? 4. Growth in desire to go to the Bible for answers. E. Other Areas What is God showing this individual? IV. Growth in Nature of Questions We must see that as an individual continues and grows in the Growing In Faith seminar, the headship exercised over the individual will grow and evolve. The measure of headship which is appropriate will determine the type and depth of information to
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be gathered.
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April 10, 1995
To:
The Pastoral Board, Judy Tydings, Bob Roche. Tony Bosnick, and Doug Mainwaring From: Torn Weinandy \1y Thoughts on the Strengths and the Weaknesses within the Re: Mother of Cud Community
I have been trying now is that Tom Di lenno behalf of the community. So, reluctantly, I have. I
to avoid, for a long time, writing this. What has moved me to write asked why I had not written a testimonial letter to the Cardinal on Alsq.in a conversation, Peter encouraged me to write my thoughts. do so in the hope that it will be helpful.
The following, then, are some of my thoughts on the strengths and the weaknesses within the community. I will first write about the strengths that I see and then I will enumerate some of the weaknesses. At the end I will offer a few suggestions.
STRENGTHS 1. Baptism in the Spirit Obviously, one of our greatest strengths in the community over the years has been our faithfulness to the grace of Baptism in the Spirit. This faithfulness has brought about the conversion of many people-some who were not Christian at all and some who were only nominally Christian or Catholic. I know from my own life that the Baptism in the Spirit changed my life, and that I must alwavs be faithful to this grace. It seems to me that the Baptism is the heart of what the community is all about. Prayer Meetings The prayer meeting has always been the center-piece of the community's worship. It also is one of the community's great graces. It is here that we worship Jesus with all of our hearts, and it is here as well that God has acted in a very powerful way over the years. It is through the prayer meetings that my life and the lives of so many people have been touched by the Holy Spirit. III. The Teaching of the Community Again, the teaching of the Community II.
is one of its greatest
strengths.
A. Prayer and Scripture Reading. The teachings on prayer and reading scripture have helped people grow in their relationship with the Lord, come to a deeper knowledge of the Gospel, and grow in holiness of life. It is this emphasis on prayer and scripture reading that has promoted the vibrant Gospel life in peoples' lives and, thus, the vibrant Christian life within the Community.
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1
B. Repentance and Faith. Equally, the teaching on repentance and faith has been a great source for on-going conversion. Through repentance, people within the community have come to know the love and mercy of God and have been freed from sin, especially old and persistent sinful habit patterns. Likewise, the emphasis on the importance of living by faith-that is. living our lives in union with Jesus-has helped people re-focus their lives from the attractions of this world to the mysteries and truths of God. Through faith, people have come to experience the reality of their faith by the power of the Holy Spirit. C. Flesh and Spirit. Moreover, this same emphasis can be seen in the teaching that we are to live by the Spjrit and not by the flesh. The teaching on spirit, rnind'soul and body has also contributed greatly to this process. Our spirit. through the power and life of the Holy Spirit, must be attuned to God and his revelation in our lives. These teachings have fostered a life within the people of the community that is to be lived in union with God and the Gospel. D. The Blood and the Cross. The teachings on the blood and the cross of Jesus have also helped people within the community to experience the power of Jesus and the redemption that he brings. People have again experienced that the blood of Jesus can cleanse them of sin and guilt, heal them of weaknesses and fears, and protect them from the power of the devil. Moreover, they have learned that the cross of Jesus is not just an historical past event, but the power to change lives. They have experienced the truth that the cross has indeed put our sinful flesh to death and that we can come to share in the risen humanity of Jesus Christ. They know the truth that the cross does bring forth the life of the Holy Spirit. E. The Primacy of Christ. Lastly, the teaching on the primacy of Christ has helped people grasp the true nature of why we and the whole world have been created. It was the Father's will that all be created for Christ. Only Jesus is worthy of our lives. \Ve were created for the praise of his glory. This is our greatest glory and honor. The work of the Spirit within us nurtures our love and affection for Jesus as the supreme Lord of all. In summary, the teaching of the community has been biblically based, Christocentric, and has stressed that people can experience the realities of which the Gospel speaks. Therefore, the people in the community have come to know in an experiential manner the truths and doctrines of the Christian faith. The greatest strength of the community is the ordinary people living out the gospel in their lives and in the lives of their families. I have never heard a teaching that has been contrary to the Catholic faith and tradition. nor contrary to the teaching of the Magesteriurn. (However, I do not think the Catholic tradition has been well integrated into the teachings at times. 1 will discuss this below.)
The Ecumenical Grace Another great grace of the community, sremming from the Baptism in the Spirit, has been the ecumenical grace. From the very beginning of the community vve have had both Catholic and Protestant members. We have seen the Baptism in the Spirit as a grace to all the Christian Churches and we saw the community as an example of this ecumenical grace. To our credit. we have tried to live out this ecumenical grace on a practical level-the bringing together of Protestants and Catholics to pray together and share their lives with one another. This has been a great challenge to us as a body of people, both theologically and practically. What we have attempted to do has not been tried in too many other settings. As I ill.note v later. we have not always been successful, but we have definitely put our heart into this ecumenical grace that the Lord has given us. Pastoral Care One of the things that first struck me when I came to the community in January of 1976, was the great pastoral care that was given to people. I myself have experienced and benefited from this pastoral care. People in the community cared for one another and for new people who came. I saw the "buddy system" as a great way to help people come to know the Gospel and to foster within them a mature Christian life. Over the years this pastoral care has taken on various modes. but at the heart of it was always the concern to help people grow in love for Jesus and for one another. When I compared the pastoral care within the community with the care given within parishes and other communities, I felt that people in the community were cared for with much more intensity and concern. I believe part of the reason for this was that the community was founded by two women, whose motherly hearts went out in love and care to all they met. If the community had been founded by men, I am sure that the pastoral practice within the community would not have been so caring. but rather more sterile, uninvolved, and business-like. (1 will discuss the problems that arose within the community'S pastoral care later.)
V.
IV.
VI.
Catholicism
While the community was always ecumenical. the majority of its members was always Catholic. The vast majority of the Catholic members grew in the appreciation,knowledge and practice of their Catholic faith within the community. The community has fostered a number of conversions to the Catholic Church over the years. One of the primary ways that the Catholic faith was nurtured within-community was through-a love for the Saints and the Fathers of the Church. Moreover, because of Baptism in the Spirit and the subsequent growth in prayer, repentance, and scripture reading, many Catholic members grew in their love for the Mass anc, the Sacrament of Reconciliation. After hearing thousands of confessions, I can confidently say that I have never heard more ardent, insightful, and faith-filled confessions than those of community members. Again, I never heard any teaching that was contrary to the Catholic Church. VII. Evangelism Again. because of Baptism in the Spirit and the life of the Gospel that it by necessity brings, the community has always stressed evangelization. The community would not have
\
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gro ... were it not for this evangelization. The ~ommunity has always had a concern for the n evangelization of the young and for men, both of which are notably absent in the wider church todav. I myself have brought many young people and men (0 the Lord and to the community. 'VIII. Christian Education The community has al w ays been involved in Christian education. This is again a great grace that the Lord has given to us. We see this grace expressed not only in our formation seminars and community teachings, but also in the community school, the Pastoral Institute, The Word Among Us, and in the Summer Conferences in the united States, Canada, England and Ireland. 1 have been intimately involved in all these educational programs, and I can vouch for their success. There are probably more gifts, graces and strengths w ithin the community that I have not mentioned, but these are the ones that have come to mv mind. , . WEAKNESSES Given what I have said above, 1 would now like to enumerate what I see as the weaknesses and failings within the community. One of the principles 1 have learned over the years is that very often one's greatest strengths are also one's greatest weaknesses. 1 think this is true not only of individuals, but also of institutions, and 1 think it is true of the Mother of' God Community. The Lack of a Spirit of Openness Because the community rightly believed that the Lord was renewing the life of the Gospel within it through its teachings, it laid great stress on loyalty to these teachings. However, there grew up within the community an atmosphere where a free exchange of ideas was not permitted. Loyalty to the community teaching (and to its leaders who express this teaching) became absolute. To express an opinion that varied from a community teaching, even if all that one wanted to do was to express it even better, was seen as an act of disloyalty. There was a great emphasis in getting the teachings right and frustration was expressed meeting after meeting, year after year that people did not know them well enough and that they were wrongfully infecting the teaching with their own thoughts. (This was especially expressed to those who were in some form of leadership). Because there was never an atmosphere fostered for free discussion and interchange, one did one's best to repeat the teaching and put it into practice, knowing that no matter how hard one tried, one would probably never get it right. This repetition not only frustrated me personally, but in the end I just became absolutely and utterly bored. The Dignity of the Priests was Undermined The community is primarily a lay community. I myself have tried hard not to be clerical. I despise clericalism. However, I believe because of an inordinate fear of clericalism (though at times the priests could wrongly try to use their priestly weight and learning) and II. I.
because of the ecumenical nature of the community, Joe systematically and knowingly undermined the dignity and authority of the pjiests, especially among the young single men. Joe would tell people that because the priests were "priests" and because of their many years of training and study outside the community, they would never get the community teaching right and therefore should not be trusted. Because of this, what the priests had to say, especially concerning things Catholic, was frequently written off as just doing "their priestly and Catholic thing". Part of the problem, too, was that since loyalty was the absolute, the priests represented and embodied a loyalty that went beyond that of the community. We were also loyal to and under the authority of the Church and this was perceived, I believe at times, as a danger. We could do things, like say Mass, preach, and hear confessions, that the community had no authority over. So I felt quite often used. What I had to say was not taken seriously at times, but when a priest was needed, the community "wheeled out" a priest. Ecumenisrn The community rightly maintains that it is ecumenical and not non-denominational. However, on the practical level, when ecumenical problems arose, our practical solutions often seemed to me to be non-denominational solutions. In practice, this meant toning down or not fostering or allowing things Catholic. The problem is that we never thrashed out how we weave together a loyalty to the Catholic Church and to our ecumenical grace. It seems to me we did not love and treasure our ecumenical grace enough to protect it from the practices and the charges of non-denominationalism. We too easily fell into the easy solution and did not seek out the anointed solution. Catholicism Partly because of the ecumenical nature of the community and partly because of a lack of appreciation, Catholicism-while not attacked directly-was not fostered and promoted. We did not know what to do with the sacraments and how they fit into the life of the community. We had daily Mass and many people attended, but going to Mass was not seen as central to the community teaching and life. None of our central teachings ever made contact with or reference to the sacraments. One practiced the teaching and one went to Mass, but how they fit together was never discussed nor taught. We have changed and grown in our appreciation of the sacraments over the years, but we are still not sure what to do with them. Part of the problem, I believe, is that the mentality grew up that you could have the pure Gospel without the "Catholic" aspects. The Catholic aspects may be good, but they were not essential to the Gospel itself. The community itself taught and held the pure Gospel, and then there were the Protestant and Catholic variations practiced by the various members. Moreover, at a time when we live in the presence of one of the greatest of all popes, the community rarely made any reference to what he was teaching. Our teaching was seen as sufficient in itself. We could learn from no one, not even a very learned and holy pope. V. Pastoral Care Here is an excellent example of where our greatest strength is also our greatest weakness. Because of our love and care for people, we, at times, got too deeply involved in peoples lives. People had all kinds of problems and wanted all kinds of advice and help, and III.
IV.
(
I
(
5
we tried to solve all kinds of problems
and we gave all kinds of advice and help. Most of the time we gave good advice and people were helped immensely, but many times, too, we gave bad advice and people were hurt. (Sometimes, too, people were hurt because they did not follow the good advice given to thern.) 1 believe pan of the problem was again trying to get people loyal to the community teaching and practice (which is not all bad and very often is quite good). In order to achieve this, though, pastoral heads, in the ardent desire to be faithful to and implement the community teachings, said and did things that were inappropriate, insensitive, pushy, authoritarian and doctrinaire. Because ofthis people were sometimes not really listened to, nor were the circumstances of their lives taken into account. The community expected certain things and people just had to conform. I was aware of many instances of this over the years, but some of the stories I have heard during my present visit (one of which I myself had been involved in) are incredible. Why did no one say anything about this? Why did I not say anything about this? On a few occasions I did try (and I know others have tried as well), but because loyalty was the key, no one listened, because to criticize what was happening was a sign of disloyalty.
VI.
Formation Briefly put, I am convinced we do not really know how to train young men and women to be mature Christian men and women and to be Christian leaders. We have no well thought-out philosophy on this. I believe we have needlessly lost a great many young people because we did not ~"10w what we were doing. Introduction Seminars For fifteen years I worked in or headed up introduction seminars-Growing in Faith and Life in the Spirit. I may not be self-critical enough, but after I was taken out of , leadership in these, I felt that these seminars became, again, too doctrinaire. There was no true sense of how to lead people to faith and help them grow. The teachings were theologically confused. I do not know what has been happening with these seminars over the last four years. Money Being a "good" Franciscan, I am rather naive when it comes to money. However, I have become concerned. The community has always stressed the need to live a simple life. Many community workers took low paying jobs for the sake of the 'communiry and the kingdom of God. What bothers me is that while so many were sacrificing their monetary futures, Joe (and Archie) were making big money on the side. I realize that Joe wanted to have control over Orange and other community companies in order to ensure their Christian values and success, but in the process, he did make big bucks. Joe told me, years ago, that he was going to use that money for Unio Crucis, and he has not lived an extravagant life. However, I think the community has a right to know what Joe has made and what he intends to do with it. If he wants to keep it, that is fine, but I think the community has a right to know since these businesses were initially for the sake of the community and for the people within the community. Until J)e discloses what he made, a cloud not only hangs over him, but also over the whole community, and it will not go away. Personally, I think the reason Joe is so
VII.
VIII.
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6
reluctant
to let it be kno ... what he has made is because he is so embarrassed .n
by it.
IX.
"The Difato Way"
During one of his visits to England, Jack mentioned to me that some people were using the term 'The Difato Mafia". This is a rather crude and unjust caricature, but there is definitely a "Difato" way of doing things, This way of doing things may not be wrong and it may even be a better \\'ay of doing things than most, but it is, nonetheless, the "Difato" way, What became a little annoying, though, was that while the community members would constantly be told that they should examine how they were brought up and their family "ways", the Difato's seemed unaware of how much their "ways" had become so much a part of the community'S "ways". More seriously, as loyalty to the community and to its teachings became more and more dominant, 1 believe Archie was put into positions of pastoral authority and teaching which he was not qualified to hold. He held them because, as a Difato, he could be trusted. X. Exaggeration and Manipulation . So much does Joe want the grace of the community to succeed and so loyal is he to the community, that I know that he "spins" and "bends" the truth in order to promote what he considers the greater good. He can exaggerate facts, not take facts into account, or "hide" facts in order promote his own position. I know that Joe has said things to me that could not possibly be literally true. He is so concerned to win people over to his side (the community'S side) that he will say or do almost anything to win them over. 1 am not sure that Joe is even aware that he does this. The problem is that because many people know that Joe does this, they feel that they have been manipulated or, at times, even deceived. While Joe may think he has won people over, in actual fact, he, through this type of behavior, has often engendered hurt and anger. People end up not trusting him. *********** How could the strengths of the community coexist with the weaknesses? How could so much good exist with so much bad? I do not have a definite answer for this, but I think part of the reason is that certain good aspects were so much emphasized that these excluded or pushed out other good aspects and so caused harm. For example, the good of loyalty was stressed, but in this becoming absolute, it-denied the good of free-expression and openness. As loyalty to the community and its teaching became the supreme virtue, such virtues as truth, personal initiative and creativity, and faithfulness to personal talents and graces often got lost. The good of ecumenism was so stressed that it ended up harming the good of Catholicism (and Protestantism, for that matter). The good of caring for people and getting people to follow the community teaching undermined the good of individual freedom and responsibility. The virtues within the community got out of balance.
SUGGESTIONS What do I see as solutions
to strengthen
the community
and heal its present
hurts?
(
7
offer here only a few thoughts.
.,.
1. I bcliex e there should be a series of small "lawn meetings" where people (covenant, associate, and friends) can express what they see as the strengths and weaknesses of the community and how it can become better. The ordinary community members need to feel that they are bringing the community back together after this time of trial. The future course of the community must not come from the top down. It must come from the bottom up. The leaders of the community, in the present situation, must first of all be listeners. 2. I think the community needs to repent for the sins it has committed. Something publicly has to be done to clear the air. I have a feeling that people are waiting for some kind of acknowledgment of the wrongs done. Until this is done, I do not believe the community will be healed. 3. The ecumenical grace of the community needs to addressed so as to protect it and it.
nurture
4. How Catholicism and Protestantism fits into this grace of ecumenism needs to be worked out. 5. The community teachings need to be studied more thoroughly and articulated in a better way, if need be. The problem is not that we have loved the community teaching too much, but rather we have not loved it enough. We need to so love the community teaching that we actually get it right. We must be able to explain it with clarity, and in ways that help people understand it better. This will help protect it from misunderstanding. The desire for truth, not loyalty, needs to be the operative principle here. 6. We need to think about how we want to train our young people. While sending them to the Dominican House of Studies is good, it is not the solution. The heart of the problem is what do we want to do with them within the community? Also, what are we training them for? 7. For the sake of the community and for his own good and the good of his family, Joe should take a two year sabbatical from all pastoral leadership and community duties. The reason I think Joe should take a sabbatical is not only because of what I said above, but also from what 1 saw when I spoke with him shortly after I came home. I think Joe is a bitter and resentful man. Sure. injustices have been done to him and probably grave injustices, but that does not permit him to immerse himself in self-pity and resentment. With all of our teaching on living by the Spirit, calling on the blood and the cross, and reasoning with faith, Joe's present attitude and state is a bad example to the community teaching. Moreover, he seems incapable of acknowledging any wrong-doing on his part. I find this hard to understand.
(
8
.........
8. I believe that Theo should be made a coordinator status as a coordinator. ...
and that Judy should
resume
her
Lastly, I feel I should say something about how I came to go to Oxford since some probably wonder about this. After I gave up being regional head-something I ... illingly and gladly did, since I knew I was not a good one-I discovered something that I never expected . .After awhile it dawned on me that there was really nothing for me to do in the community. I had no future in Gaithersburg. So one morning in my office, 1 said to the Lord: "What do you want me to do?" He said: "I want you to take authority over your life." So I said: "Lord, I think I should go to Oxford to teach and to evangelize. However, because I do not trust my discernment, if you want me to go to Oxford, you will have to have Gre yfriars call me. I will not call them." Within six weeks I got a call from Creyfriars asking me if I wanted to come. They did not expect me to say "Yes" since my American superiors said there was no way that I would leave Gaithersburg. By having them ask me allowed me to set the terms of my coming, which were that I be permitted to go to prayer meeting every Sunday and to work with the community in England as long as it did not interfere with my duties at Greyfriars. I have been a member of the Mother of God Community for nineteen years. Nineteen years ago I was willing to give up my priesthood in order to be a member. I fought hard and long with my Capuchin superiors. I put my reputation on the line for many years during which the Capuchins were not happy with me, to say the least. ~fy concern at the time of my first coming to the community was not that I would cease to be a priest, but that it would "crush" my Morn. I was willing to "crush" my Morn for the grace I saw here in the cornmunitv. I have willingly given the young years of my adu!t !ife in service to the community in Gaithersburg and I hope to continue to serve the community in England. Prior to this the present situation. I believe I was the only community member that had been denounced to an Archbishop, a Cardinal and to various religious superiors. I gloried in this for I knew what had happened at the Mount and the suffering I endured would be my great boast in heaven. I am not an exception. All of the priests and many, many others have sacrificed a great deal in order to be a part of the great grace here. I hope that we begin to glory in the sacrifices that people have made on behalf of the community and not continually question or test their loyalty. I hope that what I have said has been helpful. I have tried to be honest and forthright. I have also tried to say what I have said without resentment or anger, probably not entirely successfully. While I have not been a worthy example myself of keeping the community teaching, I, like Joe and hundreds of other people, love the community, and I plan to die a member of Mother of God Community. Hopefully, between now and then I can do my small part to make it grow and prosper.
(
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