The King of the Art World by Veronica Webster

SCENE 1 The scene opens to an art gallery with many paintings on exhibit. A woman and a little boy are looking up at a large canvas (it may or may not be visible to the audience). MRS. GREENBERG: Look at how detailed the tree is. It's hugelarger than life. SAM: I like it. Its a tree God made. MRS. GREENBERG: But what makes it a great work of art, Sam? Is it the surface beauty? Or is it the symbolism? SAM: Symbolism? Another gallery viewer joins them, a little apart, to see the painting of the tree. He slowly edges closer to them as they talk. MRS. GREENBERG: The tree symbolizes the artist's ego and super-ego reaching toward the sky as if it has limitless might and glory. See how the branches support and shade the animals? It is as if the tree has god-like qualities. It illustrates the deification of the creator-artist. SAM: But what makes the tree strong? Isn't it God? What do you think, sir? NEBUCHADNEZZAR: This expert art critic is correct. The tree does represent the artist's might and glory. Did you know that I was recently declared the King of the Art World by Avante Guard magazine? MRS. GREENBERG: (Shock followed by drooling admiration) Mr. Nebuchadnezzar, it is such an honor! SAM: Sir, what will happen to the tree? NEBUCHADNEZZAR: Uh...that's not important. The tree will be just fine. Actually, this piece was inspired by a dream I had. In the dream, a voice says: Cut down the tree. Let it be wet with the dew of heaven, And let him graze with the beasts On the grass of the earth. (To Mrs. Greenberg) Now here's the part that I think is very Surrealisteven Dadaist: God will take his mind and give him an animals mind in exchange... (Quickly) This will show that God gives fame to who He wants, yada yada yada--and something about God making great those who are least. But don't worry, my dear boy; nothing will happen to this tree because, you see, this tree is a masterpiece. Just look at it. Am I good or what? I do mean to be humble--it did take

a lot of work to paint-- but isn't the artist's ability just shining through this piece like the thick energy of pure glory? Mrs.Greenberg and Sam stare at Nebuchadnezzar oddly. A spotlight falls on Nebuchadnezzar, and an ominous voice booms into the gallery space. ANGEL: Nebuchadnezzar! To you it is declared: sovereignty has been removed from you until you recognize that the Most High is ruler over the realm of mankind and bestows it on whomever He wishes. NEBUCHADNEZZAR: (Winces and holds his hands to his head and shakes his head as if shaking off a headache.) Its all so clear to me now. God didnt go nearly far enough, but I can. This material world is only holding me back. I will cast off Representationalism and paint what the eyes cannot see. I can paint the very core of realitythe plastic, the spirit. I will call my movementNeoplasticim. No, wait, thats been taken. I will call it Nebuchadnezzarardism! It will showcase my vision! Its all about me. (Starts walking off stage purposefully.) and something about the spirit. I must gather materials. SCENE 2 Nebuchadnezzar is working on a Mondrian. He is holding a black line in his hand and struggling with where to place it. NEBUCHADNEZZAR: If I place it higher, it represents Gods sovereignty over man: rubbish. But if I place it lower it is the base savagery of mans nature. Up shows my wisdom, down shows my supreme dedication to design Nebuchadnezzar lines it up against the bottom portion of the work, then moves it a centimeter down and steps back. He moves it back up and steps back. He repeats this throughout the scene, struggling with the difference of one centimeter. ASSISTENT: Sir, that piece, it seemed so complete, perfect. NEBUCHADNEZZAR: What would you know about perfect? This centimeter could make the difference between my brilliance and the uneducated masses. ASSISTENT: (To audience) I stared at that work for hours during all of my Master's exhibits... It is my favorite. (Looks back longingly at Nebuchadnezzar, who is still moving it only one centimeter up and down now.) I've spent my whole adult life studying and producing art at one of the most prominent art schools. His sensitivity to design must be so far beyond my own that I can't even perceive that there is a flaw... NEBUCHADNEZZAR: If I am going to depict purity I must use the tools of purity. The line. Not diagonal, only pure directions, only pure colors

Nebuchadnezzar steps away from the finished piece and holds up his hands as if in awe. Then he picks up the canvas and exits the studio room and enters the exhibition room on another part of the stage. He hangs the canvas next to a stand where another artist is placing an upside down urinal. This artist is dressed in red. The assistant follows. ASSISTENT: You must be the famous Duchamp! Duchamp bows. ASSISTENT: I've always admired the shocking impact of your work. You demystify art while also investigating the nature of art through our response to it. II've always wondered, as an admirer of your work, can I askwhat aesthetics guided you to select one readymade object over another? DUCHAMP: (Smiling) My dear, I will show you why my pieces are truly unique. (Leaning in as if telling a secret.) I never choose based on aesthetics. I only select a piece that causes with in me pure visual indifference. There is a complete absence of any taste, good or bad. A complete anesthesia. To explore the meaningless one must let preferences for beauty, or aesthetics, fade away. Duchamp steps around her to follow Nebuchadnezzar into his studio next door. NEBUCHADNEZZAR: I see my assistant is a fan of yours. DUCHAMP: Hahaha, they're fans of whatever I want them to be. Do you know where I found my last piece? NEBUCHADNEZZAR: It was a bottle rack I believe? DUCHAMP: I found it in an alley, and stuck it on my stand in the gallery that day. Ha! They worship the rubbish I salvage from the gutter. NEBUCHADNEZZAR: But that is the purpose of your art, to challenge our preconceptions of what art is, to show that it is art because you designated it as art. And go ahead and laugh at them, that is what your art does, it is full of wit and irony. DUCHAMP: Yes, I love revealing to the world how close they are to meaninglessness. Eventually people like your assistant will realize what we are doing, you and I, and they will see the glory in irrationality. NEBUCHADNEZZAR: Thats not what Im doing at all! I am a realist. Not showing this outer shell of reality, but the inward, the spiritual. I show people god! DUCHAMP: Claps. And so do I. (Pause) I can tell you the future my friend, for we are allies at reaching it. I will slowly destroy their minds. I think I will call it Dada. First they will begin to talk like babies, then like animals. Then artists will need drugs to be inspired. Art will become

only attempts at originality. Then that will be the end. NEBUCHADNEZZAR: No, people are searching for truth. And I, as the greatest artist living, am their only gateway to god. If my work does destroy the mind, it does it to strengthen the spirit. DUCHAMP: (Smiles) Good. Now Im going to find some rich--excuse me, elite connoisseurs, and inform them this is artbecause enough of my servants say it is. SCENE 3 Nebuchadnezzar is pacing back and forth on a green field with patches of dirt. He is talking to himself. NEBUCHADNEZZAR: My brilliance is too complex for the masses. I understand that now. I used pure materials, but the core of truth cannot be perceived by impure humans. I must use their very nature to communicate to them and elevate them beyond what they perceive. I must gather the base material of myself, of humanityof me, because thats what its all about after all. (He stops and looks down. He lowers himself onto his hands and knees and digs his hands into a pile of dirt.) But Im not seeking the physical body of the man, but his thoughts, his spirit. And the outgrowth of his body is like the grass, not the dirt. It represents the beauty of life, these green blades. Ancient civilizations ate their enemies to absorb their strength. I will internalize it, and pull from within me this life and beauty. I will ingest it. The life is in the grass. (Grabs handfuls.) I will show the world! He runs off stage. SCENE 4 The stage lights to reveal an art exhibit where crowds of people are looking in various directions. Nebuchadnezzar runs into the center of the room holding handfuls of grass. He stuffs it into his mouth and looks around at the people excitedly. AUDIENCE MEMBER 1: That is so last year. Nebuchadnezzar swallows and stuffs another handful into his mouth. AUDIENCE MEMBER 2: Its been done. Nebuchadnezzar dejectedly stands there. He slowly walks out, opening a door to the adjacent section of the stage. This area is lit to indicate the outdoors at twilight. He pauses, looking up at the audience. NEBUCHADNEZZAR: The sunset...beautiful. (He winces and holds his head with his hands, shaking his head. He stops and pulls a blade of grass out of his mouth with his long nailed

hands. He spits.) What have I been doing? All of my life, all of my work is nothing compared to this. (Motioning upward and to the audience.) Why did I turn away from the source of everything? God, I see now that all artistic inspirationbeauty and poweris from the Lord. God, you are able to humble those who walk in pride. END OF PLAY