DANCING WITH THE STARS By Ozmo Piedmont I was a dancer for many years in New York City.

Some of my most memorable experiences happened when dancing, the most important of which occurred toward the end of my career when I was still in peak condition. I was at a cross-road in the process of changing my career from dancing to psychology. I had let go of my attachment to dreams of stardom and fame, and continued to dance for many months for the sheer pleasure of it. This is much like meditation. When we sit to meditate, we do it without attachment and expectations of what it will bring or make. When we do our meditation for the imagined benefits and rewards it will bring, it diminishes our direct experience in the present. In life too, while I was attached to fantasies of fame and fortune in some distant future, then I was in a constant state of agitation and dissatisfaction with the dance, leading to my eventual falling away from the practice of dance. But it is in the actual doing of the dance that had its own benefit, as when Dgen writes there is only one thingto train hard for this is true enlightenment.1 Like training, dance is enjoyed through its practice, allowing something beautiful to arise through the partnering of body, mind, and heart. When that truly happens, the world becomes a beautiful work of art. I had been studying dance for many years in my teens and early twenties. After attempts at making a living in the art and entertainment world, I became disillusioned. I had been studying ballet at various academies in New York City, all the time surrounded by skilled professionals from around the world. I had been far too concerned comparing my skills with theirs, and feeling the futility of reaching the goal of perfection. I was on the verge of giving up my dream of becoming a professional dancer. Of course, this had created my own gap, creating opposites of perfection/imperfection, good/bad, and judgments that haunted my direct experience of dance. That separation was my own delusion, my own ego that said, You are not good enough, you will never reach the goal you seek, it is not enough to just dance. While I held on to this mistaken belief of what my mind was telling me, I was despondent and dissatisfied with life. Nevertheless, there is always the possibility that one can let go of these little ego attachments, and have a direct experience of Truth. For me, this moment became quite apparent one afternoon at ballet school. I was going through the typical stretches and movements of warm up in the class, without any sense of trying to prove something to anyone. My little self was beginning to fall away from the expectation. Toward the end of the class, the teacher presented a series of steps that started from one corner of the room and wound their way to the opposite corner of the room. The mirrors were there, the people were there, which in the past had kept me bound by doubts, criticisms and judgments of little self. But for some reason, this time it was different. I just let go of it all. I was not dancing to impress or to gain anything. I was in the moment, just dancing, nothing special, and nothing out of the ordinary. But in that ordinariness came the blessing.

The steps begin. My body moves and turns across the floor. The grand piano plays a lilting waltz that buoys my steps. The sun streams through the gauze of drapery in front of enormous glass panes from floor to ceiling. I glide effortlessly, focusing on the steps, feeling the music, and letting go. I do not really comprehend at this moment what is happening. I allow myself to just dance, and in so doing, I enter a gateway of spaciousness. As I continue the combination of steps, the music crescendos while I turn, twirl, and leap into the air: I seem to be flying. Suddenly the moment stretches into eternitythe room falls awayI am freefilled with joycompleteat one with the universe. Then it is over. I continue down the floor, completing the choreography. I know something important has happened, but have no words to describe it. What ends in an apparent moment of time, begins a quest that guides my life from that time on. The search to understand led me through a life that left the dance world of New York, traveled to India, returned to California, studied a doctorate, and moved to Mexico. The search continued for decades, but something always haunted me. Then, a couple of years ago, when I began practicing St Zen, my understanding shifted. I realized that I had been searching for something outside myself, something extraordinary that would change my life. I have since learned that happiness is not found in some distant dream, but rather right now. It is found in the simple ordinary life we all lead. Dgen makes this very clear. He writes: The kan appears naturally in daily life.2 The search had begun the moment I experienced the ineffable. I didnt have the framework way back then to comprehend what it was. Ego continued to play its silly games of wishes, wants, and future recompense. But something was calling. The little self can never fully comprehend what the Truth is, it will always judge, divide, compare, postpone, and create the gap of experience that leads to the mistaken belief that we are inferior somehow. When we stop searching for something external to ourselves, something in the distant future, something that we have to gain or earn, when we refrain from this delusion, then we discover the essential Truth that is always present, our Buddha Nature, the harmony that can permeate all experience. There is no gap, no separation between formal sitting and life. When we sit, we just sit. We surrender to that moment. We open ourselves to the universe. We watch the thoughts pass by, like a dance across the floor, observing, doing, being in the moment, and in so doing the moment becomes eternity. We often miss the present in our search for future. Just living is its own reward. We do not need to make it into something else. As we go through the activities of daily life, we become aware of that stillness that permeates everything. Little self begins to surrender to that stillness. Most of us do not want to believe this is possible. We clutter our minds with all kinds of attachments and delusions, thinking these will make us happy. We believe that if we could just have a little more money, have the right job, marry the right person, get something outside of now, then we would be happy. Or we do the opposite, thinking if we could just avoid that which is undesirable, get away from the person we dont like, avoid the pain we feel, then all would be well. But it doesnt really work. We become stuck in the same old patterns of delusion that believe nirvana is somewhere out there just beyond reach. This belief keeps us bound to our karma and suffering, an endless cycle of wanting and avoiding and feeling dissatisfied. Eventually, we learn through sitting, to be in the now to face that which is presenting

itself. We learn to approach life with the same presence as our sitting. Nothing is outside of meditation and practice. In a sense, we are all learning to become better dancers. We want to dance, but often dont know how. This is my kan, a spiritual riddle for my life: How to dance with others? I see myself as part of a team, all of us doing the best we can to get the work done. Nevertheless, I often get in the way of the work flowing naturally. My little self wants to lead the dance, without consideration of others, their feelings, their fears, and their desire to do better. When I remember to dance according to the Precepts of training, the dance becomes an invitation for others to dance with me, to a rhythm based on harmony, interdependence, and mutual trust. When I let go of my judgments and little self demands, I begin to dance with love and respect, revealing the best of myself as I follow the paces in my day. I begin to see the dance of work in fresh ways. I see the talents of others, their ability to contribute to the overall wellbeing of the workplace. It is as if I am learning to dance ensemble. I am learning to be mindful of others and their needs, taking the time to offer a kind word, a gentle thought, or a helping hand. At times I lead, at others I follow. The dance cannot work if everyone leads at the same time. Some learn through example. They watch as we practice, as we carry out our responsibilities and interact with others. This is the ongoing practice, applying the Buddhas Precepts as if we are learning the steps to a dance. At some point, we must stop rationally thinking about the steps, allowing the presence of Truth to emerge and express itself fully through the movement. Our lives become guided, much like choreographed steps, skilled and dignified, moment to moment, at work, at home, while cooking, cleaning, discussing with our partners, figuring out the solutions to lifes challenges, each step gracefully following the other, all perfect in its simplicity: The kan appears naturally in daily life.3 Dgen teaches the steps to a balanced life, the choreography to unleash our creative potential. In so doing, we become set free, dancing with the stars.

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Great Master Dgen Rules for Meditation Ibid. 3 Ibid.