Glee

Episode 1x02 "Showmance" Written by Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk, Ian Brennan Directed by Ryan Murphy

"Glee"

1x02 - "Showmance"

by Ryan, Ian, Brad 1.

ACT ONE 1 EXT. PARKING LOT - WMHS - MORNING The Back end of a cars exhaust SCRAPES AGAINST the ground, as Dean Martins AINT THAT A KICK IN THE HEAD plays from the car. WILL, inside the car, waves. It parks, and we see that the license plate reads glee. He climbs out, with his bag, and walks through the parking lot. RACHEL (O.C.) Mr. Schuester! WILL Yeah? He turns to see RACHEL, rolling a BRIGHT PINK SUITCASE to school with her. She rushes over to walk with him. RACHEL I went to the library and I got some sheet music, and I wanted to run some songs by you that feature me heavily on lead vocal. WILL Thanks, Rach, but I already got one picked out. She looks saddened. FINN walks over, and takes her suitcase. Will drops behind. FINN Here, let me help you with that. RACHEL Thanks, Finn. You're so chivalrous. FINN Thanks! That's a good thing, right? Finn and Rachel walk away together. Will walks with MERCEDES, TINA and ARTIE. WILL Mornin, guys! MERCEDES Hey, Mr. Schue. Were just learning some runs. 1

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 2.

WILL Oh, yeah? MERCEDES So it goes(SHE DOES A VOCAL RUN) Will, Tina and Artie attempt to emulate it. WILL With the finger, huh? MERCEDES Pretty fly for a white guy. WILL Oh, thank you, thank you. Hey, dont be late for rehearsal this afternoon. They separate, Will walks past KURT, surrounded by PUCK and several football players. WILL (CONTD) Morning, Kurt! PUCK Buenos Nachos, Mr. Schue. It is obvious that Kurt is about to bullied or harassed in some way. Will simply chuckles and walks past. WILL Hey! Lets go Titans! PUCK Yeah! Come on. KURT Wait. He takes his bag off and throws it at one of the players. Kurt knows whats coming. KURT (CONTD) One day, you will all work for me. They share a silent laugh, before Puck and another footballer grab Kurt and throw him in the trash. CUT TO: 2 EXT. STEPS - WMHS - MOMENTS LATER 2

A student plays a guitar by the steps, as Will walks through the corridor.

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1x02 - "Showmance"

by Ryan, Ian, Brad 3.

WILL (TO A TEACHER) Diana, thank you so much for that apple. It was very, very nice of you. Alright? He chuckles, and continues walking. EMMA stands behind a column, and checks her watch. She looks around, sees Will walking, smiles and walks out at the same time, accidentally walking into him. WILL (CONTD) Oh! EMMA (GASPS) Oh, Will! Oh, gosh. WILL Hey, Emma. EMMA Hi. WILL Hey. I wanted to thank you so much for the advice you gave me the other day. I mean, teaching here and coaching Glee Club - Its where I belong. EMMA Oh, well, its no problem. I mean, its what I do. I give counsel and I give guidance. Im a guidance counselor. WILL Yeah, you are. EMMA Oh, look. We match. Periwinkle. SANTANA walks up the steps and rolls her eyes, QUINN follows. SANTANA (TO WILL AND EMMA) Get a room. QUINN Miss Sylvester wants to see you in her office, Mr. Schue. She doesnt like to be kept waiting. They walk away. WILL You got it.

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 4.

Will chuckles awkwardly at Emma. CUT TO: 3 INT. SUES OFFICE - WMHS - MOMENTS LATER Will walks past her window, and enters her office. SUE is exercising. WILL Hey, Sue. You wanted to see me? SUE Hey buddy, come on in. Just blasting my hammies. Iron tablet? Keeps your strength up while menstruating. WILL I don't menstruate. SUE Yeah? Neither do I. So I had a little chat with Principal Figgins and he said that if your group doesnt place at regionals, hes cutting the program. Tsk. Ouch. WILL You know, you dont have to worry about Glee Club. Were gonna be fine. SUE Really? Cause I was at the local library where I read Cheerleading Today aloud to blind geriatrics and I came across this little page turner - Show Choir Rulebook. And it turns out you need 12 kids to qualify for regionals. Last time I looked at you, you only had five and a half. Yeah, cripple in the wheelchair. I also took the liberty of highlighting some special Ed classes for you. Maybe you can find some recruits. Cause Im not sure theres anybody else whos gonna want to swim over to your island of misfit toys. She picks up her weights, and continues her exercises. WILL Are you threatening me, Sue? 3

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 5.

SUE Threatening you? Oh no, no, no. Presenting you with an opportunity to compromise yourself? You betcha. Lets break it down. You want to be creative. You want to be in the spotlight. Face it, you wanna be me. So heres the deal: You do with your depressing little group of kids what I did with my wealthy elderly mother: euthanize it. Its time. And Ill be happy to offer you a job as my second assistant on Cheerios. You can fetch me Gatorade, launder my soiled delicates. Itd be very rewarding work for you. WILL You know what, Sue? I politely decline your offer. Glee Club is here to stay. I believe in my kids. I know youre used to being the cock of the walk around here. SUE Offensive. WILL But it looks like your cheerios are gonna have some competition. Were gonna show at regionals. You have my word on that. Have a good day. He leaves, smiling. Sue smiles, she has a plan. CUT TO: 4 INT. HALLWAY - WMHS - CONTINUOUS Quinn and Finn are arguing by Finns locker. We dont see them. QUINN (O.C.) We are in line to be the most popular kids in school over the next couple years. FINN (O.C.) Yeah. I know. REVEAL RACHEL, eavesdropping from her locker. QUINN Prom king and queen. Homecoming court royalty. I am not giving up those shiny crowns just so you can express yourself. 4

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 6.

FINN Look, youre making too big a deal out of this. QUINN Okay, lets compromise. If you quit the club, Ill let you touch my breast. Rachel, eavesdropping, is horrified, and half-turns to hear more. FINN Under the shirt? QUINN Over the bra. She turns back quickly. FINN No, no. I cant. Quinn scoffs. FINN (CONTD) I want to do Glee. Im really happy when Im performing. QUINN People think youre gay now, Finn. And you know what that makes me? Your big gay beard. FINN Look. I-I gotta go to class. Okay? Just relax. Everythings gonna work out. Finn closes his locker and walks away. Quinn looks at Rachel. QUINN Eavesdrop much? She storms over. QUINN (CONTD) Time for some girl talk, man hands. You can dance with him. You can sing with him. But you will never have him. RACHEL I understand why youd be threatened. Finn and I have made a connection. (MORE)

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 7.

RACHEL (CONT'D) But Im an honorable person. I dont need to steal your man. I have plenty of suitors of my own. Every day Glees status is going up, and yours is going down. Deal with it.

She smiles, and when she turns around, she gets SLUSHIED. Twice. Quinn laughs in the background. FOOTBALLER Awesome. PUCK Holla! CUT TO: 5 INT. CHOIR ROOM - WMHS - LATER Rachel has changed her clothes, and Glee is in full effect, performing a song and dance number. GLEE AH, FREAK OUT!/ LE FREAK, CEST CHIC/ FREAK OUT! WILL Energy, guys! Its disco. GLEE LE FREAK, CEST CHIC/ AH, FREAK OUT! WILL Good with the hands. John Travolta hands. Alright. GLEE LE FREAK, CEST CHIC WILL Were freaking out. Lets go. GLEE FREAK OUT!/ LE FREAK, CEST CHIC WILL And up and out and down. Good. GLEE HAVE YOU HEARD/ ABOUT THE NEW DANCE CRAZE/ LISTEN TO US/ IM SURE YOULL BE AMAZED/ BIG FUN! 5

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1x02 - "Showmance"

by Ryan, Ian, Brad 8.

Rachel does a HIGH-LEG KICK, nearly kicking Mercedes in the FACE. MERCEDES Woah. Whoa! Hell to the Nah! First of all, you try to bust my face again, and I will cut you! And, also, this song is terrible. WILL No, no, no. Its not the song. You guys just need to get into it. KURT No, its the song. Its really gay. ARTIE We need modern music, Mr. Schue. WILL Im sorry, guys. We dont have time to discuss this. Were doing this song this Friday at the pep assembly. TINA In front of the whole school? WILL Exactly! KURT Theyre gonna throw fruit at us. And I just had a facial. RACHEL Ill press charges if that happens. WILL Guys. I cant express to you how important this assembly is. We need recruits. There are six of you. We need twelve to qualify for regionals. We have no choice, or the club is over. I know you guys dont like this song, but we took nationals back in 93 with Freak Out. Its a crowd-pleaser. Trust me. From the top. FINN Im dead. They storm to the seats, except Rachel. Then she sits. END ACT ONE

"Glee"

1x02 - "Showmance"

by Ryan, Ian, Brad 9.

ACT TWO 6A INT. HOUSE - AFTERNOON TIGHT SHOT ON a model of a house. There is a car in the driveway, and a small family by the door. WILL (V.O.) My father always said you become a man when you buy your first house. I'm not sure what he meant by that, since he burned ours down once after a drunken fight with Mom. PAN OUT to see Will and TERRI on a couch. A REAL ESTATE AGENT is talking to them. REAL ESTATE AGENT Welcome to your little slice of the American Dream! TERRI I have a question about the trees. Its always been my personal dream to cut down my own Christmas tree. How many Christmas trees will we have in the backyard? And do they come in different colors? Because, well, obviously, were expecting a family, and I have a real sense it might be a girl. WILL (V.O.) Still, I cant believe were actually doing this. It all happened so fast. FLASHBACK: 6B INT. WILLS APARTMENT - FLASHBACK Will is eating dinner. Terris sisters kids are running around him and screaming as he eats. He looks bored. KENDRA and her husband do nothing about it, and Terri also ignores it. Will struggles to. WILL (V.O.) It all started when Terris sister Kendra brought her kids over for Sunday brunch. KENDRA Well, I just dont understand where youre planning on putting the nursery. 6B 6A

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 10.

TERRI I know! WILL Well, we have a second bedroom. KENDRA You are not giving up your craft room, Terri. A mother needs her respite. That craft room is the only thing thats gonna keep you from going all Susan Smith on that little angel. Postpartum runs in our family. Kendras husband, PHIL, stands to leave as the screaming continues. KENDRA (CONTD) Where are you going? PHIL Bathroom. All that bran. KENDRA No. You cant. Kyle needs his inhaler. Phil sits down. Will, sick of the screaming, screams back, and adds a small laugh at the end, jokingly. KENDRA (CONTD) Anyway, this conversation is over. Theyre starting construction on a new section of our subdivision. Terri gasps in shocked happiness. KENDRA (CONTD) You are not bringing my niece or nephew home to this apartment. When pigs fly. Kendra and Terri laugh. Phil holds something on his fork. PHIL (TO KENDRA) Can I eat this? The screams continue. BACK TO: 6C INT. HOUSE - CONTINUOUS She takes them on a tour of the house. 6C

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 11.

REAL ESTATE AGENT This banister was made by Ecuadorean Children. Terri gasps. WILL (WHISPERING) Its great, Terri, but there are nine foreclosures on our street. Why cant we buy one of those? Theyre half the price. TERRI Im not raising my baby in a used house. Theyre not clean. CUT TO: 6D INT. KITCHEN - HOUSE - CONTINUOUS She walks into the kitchen, and loves it. TERRI Look at the sun nook. Isnt it beautiful? WILL Is it extra? She nods. REAL ESTATE AGENT Mmm. The price in the brochure is for the basic model. Everything else is a la carte. The Grand Foyer is an extra 14,000 and the sun nook is an extra 24. Terri smiles as Will looks disappointed. REAL ESTATE AGENT (CONTD) Ill let you two talk. TERRI Thank you! She leaves the room. WILL We cant afford this. TERRI We already did the math, Will. All we have to do is give up Applebees, and we wont run the A.C. For the first couple of summers. 6D

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 12.

WILL Well, we certainly cant afford the grand foyer and the sun nook. I mean, if we bite off more than we can chew, well lose everything. You need to pick one. TERRI Come with me. Im gonna show you something really special. CUT TO: 6E INT. PINK BEDROOM - HOUSE - CONTINUOUS A pink bed, a pink room, made up for a girl. TERRI This is where our daughter or gay son will sleep. I thought maybe we could put one of those mini pianos in here, and you two could put on shows for me. Will smiles, proudly. WILL I love it, Terri, but we still cant afford everything. Terri plays the upset card. TERRI (SIGHS) Its my very own Sophies choice. Fine. Im gonna give up the sun nook for the grand foyer. But I really need the polished door handles. He smiles, laughing quietly. TERRI (CONTD) Think of our family, Will. This is our dream. Will NARRATES, as the camera PANS UP to his face. WILL (V.O.) I knew in that moment that I would do whatever it took, even if it meant getting a part-time job to make some extra money to make that dream come true. He thinks, looks at her and smiles. 6E

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 13.

WILL Lets go sign those papers. He kisses her head and walks away, as she smiles and looks around. TERRI (WHISPERING) Yes! She follows him. CUT TO: 7 INT. CHOIR ROOM - WMHS - DAY Kurt is giving Mercedes some fashion advice. She wears a HORRIFIC colored zebra jacket. KURT You need to call me before you dress yourself. MERCEDES Whatever. Whatever. KURT You look like a Technicolor zebra. MERCEDES (O.C.) Youre a hater. Thats what you are. Finn is tying his laces. KURT (O.C.) I look like Im a part of it. MERCEDES (O.C.) Youre tryin to copy me. KURT (O.C.) It looks like I planned it. MERCEDES (O.C.) You know what? If your hair was longer, youd have curls. Will enters, as Rachel looks at Finn, almost lovingly. WILL (O.C.) Alright, guys. How about a little Kanye? The kids gasp in happiness. ALL Awww! Sweet! 7

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 14.

He hands the music out to everyone. MERCEDES For the assembly? WILL No. We wont be ready in time. Were still doing disco. But we can fold this into our repertoire, and itll be awesome at regionals. Communication is the foundation of any successful music group. If were gonna succeed, we need to communicate. You guys said you wanted modern music, I listened. ARTIE Mr. Schue, wed really like to not do disco at that assembly. All the kids nod. WILL Finn, youre gonna take the solo. FINN What? No, I cant do the solo, Mr. Schue. Im still learning how to walk and sing at the same time. Will takes his jacket off. WILL No problem. Ill walk you through it. ALL Ooh! MERCEDES Challenge. WILL Hey, Mercedes, you know this? MERCEDES Oh, I got this. She prepares herself.

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 15.

MERCEDES (CONTD) SHE TAKE MY MONEY/ WHEN IM IN NEED/ YEAH, SHES A TRIFLIN FRIEND INDEED/ OH, SHES A GOLD DIGGER/ WAY OVER TOWN/ THAT DIGS ON ME CUT TO: 7A INT. PINK BEDROOM - HOUSE - MONTAGE 7A

Terri, Kendra and Phil measure the room, as one of the kids behind jumps on the bed. GLEE SHE GIVE ME MONEY! WILL NOW, I AINT SAYIN SHE A GOLD DIGGER GLEE WHEN IM IN NEED WILL BUT SHE AINT MESSIN WITH NO BROKE, BROKE GLEE SHE GIVE ME MONEY! WILL NOW, I AINT SAYIN SHE A GOLD DIGGER CUT TO: 7B INT. CHOIR ROOM - WMHS - MONTAGE GLEE WHEN IM IN NEED WILL BUT SHE AINT MESSIN WITH NO BROKE, BROKE GLEE I GOTTA LEAVE WILL GET DOWN, GIRL, GO HEAD, GET DOWN GLEE I GOTTA LEAVE 7B

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 16.

WILL GET DOWN, GIRL, GO HEAD, GET DOWN GLEE I GOTTA LEAVE WILL GET DOWN, GIRL, GO HEAD, GET DOWN GLEE I GOTTA LEAVE WILL GET DOWN, GIRL, GO HEAD ARTIE SHE GIVE ME MONEY! WILL CUTIE THE BOMB/ MET HER AT A BEAUTY SALON ARTIE WHEN IM IN NEED WILL WITH A BABY LOUIS VUITTON/ UNDER HER UNDER ARM ARTIE SHE GIVE ME MONEY WILL SHE SAID I CAN TELL YOU ROCK/ I CAN TELL BY YOUR CHARM ARTIE WHEN IM IN NEED WILL FAR ALL THOSE GIRLS YOU GOT A FLOCK/ I CAN TELL BY YOUR CHARM AND YOUR ARM ARTIE I GOTTA LEAVE WILL BUT IM LOOKIN FOR THE ONE, HAVE YOU SEEN HER? ARTIE I GOTTA LEAVE

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 17.

GLEE NO, WE AINT SEEN HER!/ SHE GIVE ME MONEY! WILL NOW, I AINT SAYIN SHE A GOLD DIGGER GLEE WHEN IM IN NEED WILL BUT SHE AINT MESSIN WITH NO BROKE, BROKE GLEE SHE GIVE ME MONEY! WILL NOW, I AINT SAYIN SHE A GOLD DIGGER GLEE WHEN IM IN NEED WILL BUT SHE AINT MESSIN WITH NO BROKE, BROKE GLEE I GOTTA LEAVE WILL GET DOWN, GIRL, GO HEAD, GET DOWN GLEE I GOTTA LEAVE WILL GET DOWN, GIRL, GO HEAD, GET DOWN GLEE I GOTTA LEAVE WILL GET DOWN, GIRL, GO HEAD, GET DOWN GLEE I GOTTA LEAVE WILL GET DOWN, GIRL, GO HEAD MERCEDES takes over Arties parts.

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 18.

WILL (CONTD) EIGHTEEN YEARS/ EIGHTEEN YEARS/ SHE GOT ONE OF YOUR KIDS/ GOT YOU FOR EIGHTEEN YEARS/ I KNOW SOMEBODY PAYIN CHILD SUPPORT FOR ONE OF HIS KIDS/ HIS BABY MOMMA CAR CRIB IS BIGGER THAN HIS/ YOU WILL SEE HIM ON TV, ANY GIVEN SUNDAY/ WIN THE SUPERBOWL AND DRIVE OFF IN A HYUNDAI/ SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BUY YA SHORTY TYCO WITH YOUR MONEY/ SHE WENT TO THE DOCTOR GOT LIPO WITH YOUR MONEY/ SHE WALKIN AROUND LOOKIN LIKE MICHAEL WITH YOUR MONEY/ SHOULDA GOT THAT INSURED GEICO FOR YOUR MONEY, MONEY/ IF YOU AINT NO PUNK, HOLLA WE WANT PRENUP! GLEE WE WANT PRENUP, YEAH! They laugh as the song ends. WILL Alright, just like that. Ready? CUT TO: 8 INT. BATHROOM - WMHS - LATER 8

A toilet flushes. EMMA maneuvers her way from a stall without using her hands. She walks over to the sink, preparing to wash her hands, when she hears a girl coughing from a stall. Emmas head quickly turns at the sound. We see her approach the stall in the mirror, arms still raised. REVEAL Rachel, bent over the toilet. Emma stands behind her. EMMA Rachel, did you just throw up? RACHEL No. EMMA You missed the toilet.

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 19.

RACHEL The girl who was throwing up before me left that. I tried, but I guess I just dont have a gag reflex. EMMA One day when youre older, thatll turn out to be a gift. Lets have a little chat, okay? CUT TO: 9 INT. EMMAS OFFICE - WMHS - LATER PAN OVER Emmas guidance leaflets. DIVORCE: Why Your Parents Stopped Loving You I Cant Stop Touching Myself RADON: THE SILENT KILLER My Moms Bipolar and she Wont Stop YELLING Wow! Theres a hair down there! So You Like Throwing Up - Understanding and Overcoming Bulimia Emmas hand grabs the last leaflet. She hands it to Rachel, who looks at it. Emma looks distracted, staring at the door, lovingly. She waves, Will smiles and waves back. She looks back at Rachel and clears her throat. EMMA Rachel, bulimia is a very messy, serious disease. Emma puts some sanitizer on her hands. RACHEL I dont have bulimia. I tried it and failed and wont ever attempt it again. EMMA Okay. RACHEL Grossed me out. EMMA Okay. But I still want to talk about the feelings that you had that led to you wanting to puke your guts out. RACHEL I want to be thinner. Prettier, like that Quinn girl. 9

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EMMA Mm-Hmm. And, um, why is that? RACHEL Have you ever liked somebody so much you just wanna lock yourself in your room, turn on sad music and cry? Emma looks speechless, looks at Will. EMMA No. as we-FLASHBACK: 9A INT. EMMAS CAR - FLASHBACK It is raining heavily, Emma sits in her car, crying and singing loudly along with the radio. EMMA (CRYING) ALL BY MYSELF By myself! Im by myself! DONT WANNA BE BACK TO: 9B INT. EMMAS OFFICE - WMHS - CONTINUOUS 9B 9A

She tries to move on, and not show any signs of confirmation. EMMA Uh, but a boy crush, huh? I know about that. (TRYING TO HIDE) I mean, not now. It takes me back in the- Like a long time ago, I knew about that. (MOVING ON) You know what? You need to remember, Rachel, to protect your heart. I dont care who is. If he doesnt like you for the way you are - If hes(WANDERING) You know, hes married with a baby on the way- Thats not worth the heartache. You dont want to compromise yourself for that. Rachel turns to look where Emma is looking. She looks at Mr. Schue, who is looking at a notepad.

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 21.

EMMA (CONTD) Um(CLEARS THROAT) Have you just tried telling him how you feel? RACHEL He doesnt even notice me. EMMA I see. Um- Okay. Well, heres what I think. Common interests are the key to romance. Alright? So, find out what he likes. Then hell see you in a positive way and maybe youll end up doing something that you never would have expected. Rachel smiles, and nods. FADE TO BLACK. END ACT TWO

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1x02 - "Showmance"

by Ryan, Ian, Brad 22.

ACT THREE 10 INT. FIGGINS OFFICE - WMHS - DAY 10

Finn and Rachel sit in front of Figgins desk. Sue stands next to them, and Will sat on the opposite side. Figgins is at his desk. Everyone is silent. SUE Would you like to tell Principal Figgins and Mr. Schuester what I caught you two doing? FINN It just sort of happened. Both look extremely awkward. RACHEL I dont mean to be rude, but I think shes over reacting. SUE You watch your tone, young lady! (TO FIGGINS) Gay parents encourage rebellion. There are studies on this. WILL Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Alright, tell me what happened, Rachel. RACHEL Finn was worried about having to perform a solo at the pep assembly in front of his chromosomally challenged friends. I was immediately concerned by his lack of self-esteem and made a creative preemptive strike. FINN Yeah, pretty much what she said. FLASHBACK: 10A INT. ART ROOM - WMHS - FLASHBACK Rachel and Finn are doing some form of arts and crafts. RACHEL You know, one of the amazing things about being in the performing arts is that you can parlay it into so many different fields. Like Justin Timberlake - Hes a singer, but he also has a clothing line. (MORE) 10A

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RACHEL (CONT'D) And, you know, he makes things like shirts and belts.

FINN Whos Justin Timberlake? RACHEL (V.O.) It was a twofold plan. REVEAL THEIR WORK - A cut and pasted poster of people that began in Glee Club - Robin Thicke (The only person to have his name pointed out), Justin Timberlake and Kelly Clarkson. RACHEL (V.O.) We figured that with the right marketing strategy, we could pull from the entire student body without having an assembly... CUT TO: 10B INT. PHOTOCOPY AREA - ART ROOM - WMHS - FLASHBACK 10B

The Cut-and-pasted image is being photocopied onto colored paper. RACHEL (V.O.) ...thus creating the diverse Glee Club the school has been craving. Sue enters with a protein shake, whistling happily. She sees what they are doing, as they turn around. She drops her shake, it splatters on the floor. BACK TO: 10C INT. FIGGINS OFFICE - WMHS - CONTINUOUS Sue points figuratively. SUE That copy machine is for Cheerios use only. Paid for by alumni donations. I cant begin to fathom the damage youd have done to the program had you broken it. WILL Hold on a second, Sue. SUE I resent being told to hold onto anything, William. I will not be treated like a second-class citizen because of my gender. There is a very clear bureaucracy when it comes to photo copies. (MORE) 10C

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SUE (CONT'D) And you seem to think that these procedures dont apply to your students. It is my strong recommendation that both of these students be hobbled.

Finn and Rachel look at each other. WILL How many copies did you guys make? SUE Seventeen. WILL Okay. And how much does a photo copy cost? FIGGINS Four and a half cents. WILL How about they just pay for the copies? FIGGINS I like this compromise. Children, pay Ms. Sylvester, and well let you off with a warning. And, Sue, Im sorry, but Ill have to ask you to personally clean the congealed protein shake off the photo copy room floor. SUE Thats why we have janitors. FIGGINS Sue, were in a recession, and concessions must be made. Ive laid off half the janitorial staff. We all need to lend a hand. Will, Finn and Rachel nod in agreement. Sue is outraged and stands up, looking at them. SUE Lady Justice wept today. She holds her hand out, waiting for her money. CUT TO: 11 INT. HALLWAY - WMHS - MOMENTS LATER 11

Will leaves the office, followed closely by Rachel and Finn.

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FINN Im sorry about that, Mr. Schue. RACHEL Id like to get the flyers up before lunch tomorrow. WILL You know what, guys? I dont want to hear it. RACHEL Doing that song is gonna kill any chance the Glee Club has. Its a terrible idea. WILL I have news for you, Rachel. Sometimes you have to do things you dont want to do. Were doing the assembly, and youre not putting up those flyers. (WALKING AWAY) Everybody loves disco! Will leaves. FINN Its official. Im a dead man. They begin to walk together. RACHEL Look, I know youre nervous, but youre really, really talented. FINN (FLATTERED) Stop it. RACHEL I mean, maybe itll all be okay. He smiles at her, she smiles back. RACHEL (CONTD) Do you wanna practice for the assembly tomorrow after school? FINN I cant. I got a Celibacy Club meeting. He walks away. Her smile fades as she watches him. CUT TO:

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12

INT. BATHROOM - WILLS APARTMENT - NIGHT Will and Terri are sharing a bath. WILL Baby, I have some bad news. TERRI A wealthy relative died? WILL I dont have any wealthy relatives. TERRI Oh. WILL Ive just been pounding the pavement all week after Glee rehearsal. I-I cant find any extra work. That probably means no grand foyer. Terri looks irritated. TERRI Why cant we ever be the ones to catch a break? WILL No, no, no. Its going to be okay, baby. I mean, we dont need a grand foyer to be happy. TERRI No. You know what? Im so tired of the compromising. I want my grand foyer. I want my dream house. I work hard. I sacrifice. I deserve it. She storms out of the bath. TERRI (CONTD) You know, we give and we give. Do you think that the big shots at Sheets N Things care that I sell more personal massagers than any other assistant manager? She gets her bath gown on. TERRI (CONTD) No. Or do you think that those kidsthat they give a damn that we go with so little because you spend all your spare time choreographing those stupid dance routines? (MORE)

12

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TERRI (CONTD) (PRACTICALLY CRYING) I mean, when does anyone start giving back?

She turns and leaves the bathroom. Will sighs, and dunks his head under the water. CUT TO: 11 INT. PHOTOCOPY AREA - ART CLASSROOM - DAY 11

Sound of scrubbing. Will passes the room, and looks inside. He opens the door. FIGGINS is cleaning Sues mess. WILL I thought you asked Sue to clean up after herself. FIGGINS Sue got a note from the school nurse claiming that her lupus made it impossible to bend over a bucket of suds. Ive been here till ten P.M. every night, up to my elbows in Vamoose! Will thinks for a moment, and leans down to Figgins. WILL Any problem with me taking over one of those nighttime janitorial slots? Figgins shakes his head, silent. WILL (CONTD) Ill work at half salary. Figgins looks up. Its a deal. FADE TO BLACK. END ACT THREE

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1x02 - "Showmance"

by Ryan, Ian, Brad 28.

ACT FOUR 12 INT. GIRLS CELIBACY CLUB - DAY Three bangs of the gavel. Silence. Quinn puts it down. PAN OUT to reveal ALL of the Cheerios in the club. QUINN The Celibacy Club is now in session. Thanks to a school rule that says we have to let anyone join the club, were welcoming a new member this weekPAN OVER to reveal RACHEL, sitting alone on the other side of the room. QUINN (CONTD) Rachel whats-her-name. RACHEL Where are all the boys? QUINN Down the hall. First half hour we separate, then we come together to share our faith. CUT TO: 13 INT. BOYS CELIBACY CLUB - CONTINUOUS A much more laid back set-up. Boys playing with card, footballs. FINN (V.O.) Im still on the fence about the Celibacy Club. I mean, I only joined to get into Quinn Fabrays pants. Still, it is a productive way for us guys... The boys are bored. Puck smells his fingers and winces. FINN (V.O.) ...to get together and talk about sexual issues. PAN OVER to JACOB BEN ISRAEL, the nerd. JACOB I think Im gonna kill myself. Im serious. Were bombarded with sexual imagery every day - beer ads, those short skirts. (MORE) 13 12

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 29.

JACOB (CONT'D) Im supposed to be surrounded by temptation- Not be able to do anything about it?

Are you crunchy over in swear I

PUCK kidding? Those skirts are toast. Santana Lopez bent hers the other day and I could see her ovaries. CUT TO:

14

INT. GIRLS CELIBACY CLUB - CONTINUOUS Santana spins in her uniform. QUINN God bless the perv that invented these. Remember the power motto, girls. GIRLS Its all about the teasing, and not about the pleasing. They all begin dancing seductively. CHEERIO Back it up like a dump truck, baby! Rachel is still sitting alone. CUT TO:

14

15

INT. BOYS CELIBACY CLUB - CONTINUOUS FOOTBALLER So, how far does Quinn let you get anyway? FINN We grind, make out. JACOB But how do you keep from arriving early? Whenever I grind- Cinco de Mayo. FINN (CHUCKLING) Its not a problem for me, man. He high fives Puck.

15

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 30.

FINN (V.O.) Actually, its a big problem. Somebody once told me that to keep from erupting too early, you should think of dead kittens and stuff. But the only image that works for me happened the day my mom took me out to practice for my drivers permit. FLASHBACK: 15A INT. CAROLES CAR - FLASHBACK She smiles, happy at his progress. CAROLE Pretty good, honey. Who says a father figures necessary, huh? FINN Drivings fun. CAROLE Yeah. We see a MAILMAN hit the screen, cracking it. Carole SCREAMS. CAROLE (CONTD) (SCREAMING) Oh, My god! Oh, my! Oh, my! Oh, my god, you killed him. What are you gonna do? Finn is terrified. CUT TO: 16 INT. CELIBACY CLUB - DAY 16 15A

The boys and girls have now joined together. Quinn inflates a balloon. QUINN Lets pair up for the Immaculate Affection. Every Cheerio is with a footballer. Puck and Santana, Finn and Quinn. Rachel has been paired with... Jacob. QUINN (CONTD) Now, remember, if the balloon pops, the noise makes the angels cry. They hold the balloons between their crotches. Finn and Quinn look at each other and smile.

"Glee"

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 31.

Rachel looks at Finn, then at Jacob. She puts the balloon at her crotch. Jacob rushes over, standing the other side. They hold each others shoulders. Rachel is disgusted. JACOB You enchant me. PUCK Yeah. Puck is effectively forcing himself on her balloon. SANTANA Just stop it! PUCK Take it. Ah, yeah! He is thrusting, yet the balloon isnt popping. POP! Finn and Quinns balloon popped. QUINN Finn! FINN It must have hit my zipper. Jacob looks as if he is about to kiss Rachel. She pulls away. RACHEL You know what? This is a joke. Everyone looks at her. RACHEL (CONTD) Did you know that most studies have demonstrated that celibacy doesnt work in high schools? Our hormones are driving us too crazy to abstain. The second we start telling ourselves that theres no room for compromise, we act out. The only way to deal with teen sexuality is to be prepared. Thats what contraception is for. QUINN (HORRIFIED) Dont you dare mention the C word. RACHEL You want to know a dirty little secret that none of them want you to know?

"Glee"

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 32.

Finn looks interested. RACHEL (CONTD) Girls want sex just as much as guys do. She turns and storms out. Jacob looks around. JACOB I-Is that accurate? CUT TO: 17 INT. CLASSROOM - WMHS - NIGHT 17

Will is cleaning beneath a table. Emma passes, and walks in. EMMA Will? Will hits his head off the table. WILL Ah! Emma- What are you doing here so late? He stands, revealing a janitors uniform. Emma looks surprised. EMMA I do S.A.T. prep on Tuesday nights. Are you, um- Are you a janitor? WILL A ja- no. EMMA Really? cause youre dressed like a janitor, and your shirt says Will. WILL Um, Terri and I are trying to buy a house and were, you know, struggling to make ends meet, and(SIGHS) Im really embarrassed. Would you mind keeping this between us? EMMA Yeah. Oh, yeah. Your secrets completely safe with me. WILL Thank you. EMMA Do you, um- Do you want a hand?

"Glee"

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 33.

WILL Oh- No. I-Im good, really. EMMA Really? Because I can see from here that youve used window cleaner to mop the floor. And, uh, that keyboard is crawling in E. Coli because I know for a fact Ms. Hoffmeyer doesnt wash her hands after doing number twos. Will looks at her blankly, blinks once. TIME LAPSE: 17A INT. CLASSROOM - WMHS - MOMENTS LATER Emma and Will are cleaning the classroom. EMMA I really admire you working so hard for something you want. WILL Lets make a deal. Youre helping me with my problem. How about I take a stab at one of yours? EMMA Oh, no, I dont- I dont have a problem. WILL Youve been scrubbing that pencil sharpener for an hour. EMMA Well I mean, I have- I have a little trouble with messes, but its not like its a problem. Will sits down, looking at her. EMMA (CONTD) Okay. When I was a little girl, it was my dream to work on a dairy farm. WILL Really? EMMA Yeah. And when I was eight, we finally visited one, and after the tour and the yogurt tasting, my- my brother pushed me into the runoff lagoon. 17A

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 34.

WILL What? EMMA And, um, ever since then, Ive justIve had a little trouble forgetting the, uh- the smell. Will looks at her. WILL Have you thought about- I dont know- maybe seeing someone about that? EMMA Oh, no. Its completely manageable. You know, I just- I take lots of showers and I, um- You know, I dont eat dairy. So, itsWill stands up, and walks over to the chalkboard. He gets a finger of chalk. WILL I wanna try... a little experiment. EMMA Oh, no. No, Im not really, um, comfortable with- with thatHe puts his finger on her nose, leaving a chalk mark. They look at one another. Emma does not react to the chalk. Will wipes it off with his forearm and wrist. WILL There. She looks up at him. WILL (CONTD) Ten seconds. EMMA New record. They continue to stare lovingly at one another. EMMA (CONTD) Its late. I Should, um- I should be, um, going. She leaves. Will looks back at her. Ken can be made out in the background. CUT TO:

"Glee"

1x02 - "Showmance"

by Ryan, Ian, Brad 35.

18

INT. GYM - WMHS - DAY Rachel bangs a gavel, replicating the Celibacy club. RACHEL I officially call this meeting of Glee Club in session. ARTIE But Mr. Schuester isnt here. RACHEL Mr. Schuester isnt coming. REVEAL the glee club sitting in front of her. RACHEL (CONTD) I paid a freshman to ask him for help with irregular verbs. MERCEDES Ugh! Im so sick of hearing you squawk, Eva Peron. FINN Let her talk. She smiles at him. RACHEL I have another idea for the assembly. ARTIE Can I, once again, stress my most strenuous objections to this attempted suicide? RACHEL Theyre not gonna kill us- Because were gonna give them what they want. KURT Blood? RACHEL Better. Sex. SILENCE. CUT TO:

18

19

INT. ASSEMBLY HALL - WMHS - DAY Figgins stands before a microphone and a red curtain, the assembly is in effect.

19

"Glee"

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 36.

He taps the microphone, creating squealing feedback. FIGGINS Silence, children. Silence. First, an announcement. The toilets are broken again. We are fixing the problem. But let me warn you, there will be zero tolerance for anyone soiling school grounds. Were not going to have a repeat of last time. Sue looks, preparing for the eyesore she is about to receive. The cheerios (Quinn, Santana, Brittany) Sit behind her. FIGGINS (CONTD) We have a treat for you guys today. Mr. Schuester. Emma claps and shouts. EMMA Yea, Glee! Sue looks at her from behind, disgusted. EMMA (CONTD) Glee kids, hooray! Will walks to the microphone, Figgins sits down. WILL Uh, hi. Uh, when I went to school here, Glee Club ruled this place. And were on our way back. Sue covers her mouth to hide a giggle. WILL (CONTD) But we need some recruits to join the party. Now, I could tell you all about how great Glee is, but, uh, I think Im gonna let some friends of mine show you instead. He walks away from the stage. A man takes the microphone, and two other men open the curtains. Will sits down and smiles, optimistically. The spotlight highlights the six members, all in blue, in 3 pairs of two. The dance sequence is suggestive. GIRLS GET UP ON THIS! PUSH IT - SALT N PEPA

"Glee"

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 37.

The girls strut over to one side of the hall. Wills optimistic face drops when he realizes. GIRLS (CONTD) BABY, BABY/ B-BABY, BABY/ OOH, BABY, BABY/ B-BABY, BABY The seductive dancing increases. GIRLS (CONTD) GET UP ON THIS!/ HEY!/ GET UP ON THIS! BOYS

PUSH IT
RACHEL SA-SA-SA-SALT-N-PEPAS HERE ARTIE NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, YALL. Tina and Mercedes place themselves beside Artie, waving their asses around. ARTIE (CONTD) NOW, THIS DANCE AINT FOR EERYBODY/ ONLY THE SEXY PEOPLE/ SO ALL YOU FLY MOTHERS/ GET ON UP THERE AND DANCE/ DANCE, I SAID!/ HOLLA! RACHEL SA-SALT-N-PEPAS HERE/ AND WERE IN EFFECT/ WANT YOU TO PUSH IT, BABE/ COOLIN BY DAY/ THEN AT NIGHT WORKIN UP A SWEAT/ COME ON, GIRLS/ LETS GO SHOW THE GUYS THAT WE KNOW/ HOW TO BECOME/ NUMBER ONE IN A HOT/ PARTY SHOW/ NOW PUSH IT GLEE

PUSH IT
Sue looks HORRIFIED.

"Glee"

1x02 - "Showmance"

by Ryan, Ian, Brad 38.

GLEE (CONTD) PUSH IT GOOD/ AH, PUSH IT/ PUSH IT REAL GOOD Emma is dancing, ignoring the sexual antics on the stage. GLEE (CONTD) AH, PUSH IT/ PUSH IT GOOD/ AH, PUSH IT/ PU-PUSH IT REAL GOOD Figgins closes his eyes and dances in his own world. Sue is MORE HORRIFIED. GLEE (CONTD) AH, PUSH IT ARTIE UH, UH, UH, UH, UH GLEE GET UP ON THIS MERCEDES

HEY!
GLEE GET UP ON THIS Finn makes his way along the three girls, all of whom do MORE dirty, sexual moves. FINN YO, BABY POP, YEAH, YOU/ COME HERE, GIVE ME A KISS Puck looks at Finn in astonishment, as does Will. FINN (CONTD) BETTER MAKE IT FAST/ OR ELSE, IM GONNA GET PISSED/ CAN YOU HEAR THE MUSIC PUMPIN HARD/ LIKE I WISH YOU WOULD Finn high fives Kurt, who spanks him straight after. GLEE NOW PUSH IT And he has no idea how to react. Puck is still staring in shock.

"Glee"

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 39.

GLEE (CONTD) AH, PUSH IT/ PUSH IT GOOD/ AH, PUSH IT/ PUSH IT REAL GOOD/ AH, PUSH IT/ PUSH IT GOOD/ AH, PUSH IT/ PU-PUSH IT REAL GOOD Tina, Kurt and Rachel CRAWL across the floor to Artie, Mercedes and Finn. GLEE (CONTD) AH, PUSH IT Emma and Figgins are still dancing. GIRLS GET UP ON THIS! GLEE AH, PUSH IT GIRLS GET UP ON THIS! Mercedes/Kurt and Artie/Tina mime one sexual move, while Rachel/Finn mime another. ARTIE

HOLLA!
GIRLS GET UP ON THIS! GLEE AH, PUSH IT! MERCEDES

HEY!
They all turn, and stand in one final pose for the final note. GLEE AH, PUSH IT! The song ends, and Glee looks around awkwardly. Silence. Jacob stands up, and squeals. JACOB (SQUEALING) YES!

"Glee"

1x02 - "Showmance"

by Ryan, Ian, Brad 40.

The ENTIRE student body stands, cheering and whistling. Sue looks surprised, as Emma stands and applauds. CUT TO: 20 INT. FIGGINS OFFICE - WMHS - DAY Will looks down in disappointment. Silence. Sue looks at Figgins in silence. Figgins looks at them both. Silence. SUE Let me be the one to break the silence. That was the most offensive thing Ive seen in twenty years of teaching, and that includes an elementary school production of Hair. FIGGINS Weve received angry e-mails from a number of concerned parents, many of whom thought that their children were going to hear a Special Olympian speak about overcoming adversity. WILL I-I really dont know what to say. SUE Well, Let me help you out then. My first thought was that your students should be put into foster care. But youre the one that should be punished. I demand your resignation from this school as well as the disbanding of Glee Club. FIGGINS Now, hold on, Sue. The issue is content. Those kids are talented. And I have not seen the student body this excited since Tiffany performed at the North Hills Mall. Figgins hands Will a piece of paper. FIGGINS (CONTD) I took the liberty of calling my pastor to provide a list of familyfriendly songs that reflect our communitys values. Your kids can only perform these pre-approved musical selections. 20

"Glee"

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 41.

WILL But all these songs have either Jesus or Balloons in the title. FIGGINS But there are also songs about the circus! This egg is sunny-side up, Will. You need new outfits. Sue looks COMPLETELY confused. FIGGINS (CONTD) I got several flashes of panty from your group today, and Im not talking about the girls. So, Sue, Im cutting your dry-cleaning budget to pay for new costumes for the Glee Club. SUE (OUTRAGED) This will not stand. FIGGINS Oh, Sue. The dry-cleaners here are just as good as the ones in Europe. Sue looks around, disgusted. Will holds in a smile. CUT TO: 21 INT. HALLWAY - WMHS - MOMENTS LATER 21

Rachel holds her head against the wall, as SUE walks around the corner, furious. She looks up at Sue. Sue points at her eyes, then at Rachels. Im Watching You. Mr. Schuester follows Sue. RACHEL Mr. Schuester, Im so sorry. WILL Do you understand what you did today? You lied to me. And you ruined our chances. No parent in their right mind is gonna let their kid join Glee now. Oh, and, uh, heres a list of the songs that were allowed to sing. He hands her the list. She glances at it. RACHEL Whats a Luftballon?

"Glee"

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 42.

WILL Look, I know how much you care about Glee Club, and I understand why you did what you did, but I dont like the way you did it. He walks away, Rachel looks on, disgusted with herself. END ACT FOUR

"Glee"

1x02 - "Showmance"

by Ryan, Ian, Brad 43.

ACT 22 INT. TEACHERS LOUNGE - WMHS - DAY Emma sets up on her table. Lunchbox, Napkins. She opens her lunchbox, pulls out a grape, wipes it with a napkin and eats it. She repeats. Two tickets are slid on the table. We PAN UP to see that its KEN. KEN Theyre for Tulip-A-Looza. Emma is still wiping her grapes. KEN (CONTD) Its a tulip festival down at the Columbus Convention Center. Its supposed to smell pretty nice. EMMA Thats really sweet of you, Ken, but I have... A-Asthma. Ken looks disappointed. KEN What are you doing? Chasing a married guy. She looks up quickly. KEN (CONTD) I saw you playing house with him after hours, Emma. Look, I dont know a lot about relationships. Most of mine are short and flame out once the sex goes, but I do know you never want to be the rebounder. Emma looks slightly horrified with herself. KEN (CONTD) Im a good man, Emma. Ill treat you right. Ill put up with all your crazy. They cant fire me cause Im a minority, so Ill always be able to provide for you. You could do a lot worse. And in this town, youre not gonna do much better. She is still looking up at him. 22

"Glee"

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 44.

KEN (CONTD) Okay, Im done talking now. He walks away from her table, leaving Emma to think about what she is doing to Ken. CUT TO: 23 INT. AUDITORIUM - WMHS - CONTINUOUS A piano clinks a few times. Rachel was playing it. RACHEL Try it. Finn is on the STAGE. FINN 23

LA
RACHEL Good! FINN That was good. RACHEL Okay, One more up. She raises the key. FINN

LA
He doesnt look confident at the note. RACHEL That was really good! FINN Is that okay? RACHEL Yeah, its like the holy grail for a baritenor, so its a good note. Alright, Ill start at the bottom, and then well go up higher. FINN Can we take a break? Singing kinda makes me feel hungry. RACHEL Yeah, yeah, sure. Lucky I prepared for that. She points. We REVEAL SEVERAL PILLOWS, MATS, And a PICNIC BASKET.

"Glee"

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 45.

FINN Wow. I was wondering what that was all about. Rachel smiles proudly. RACHEL Want to sit? FINN Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. They walk over and sit down. RACHEL I was wondering why you asked me to help you with your singing. You kicked butt at the assembly. FINN Well, this is my only chance to be, you know, good like you. Rachel gets her hand out of the basket, smiling at what Finn said. RACHEL You think I'm good? FINN Well, when I first joined, I thought you were kind of insane. Yeah. I mean, you talk a lot more than you should, and to be honest with you, I looked under the bed and made sure that you werent hanging out under there. (SEEING RACHEL, SLIGHTLY UPSET) But then I heard you sing. I don't know how to say this, but you touched something in me. Right here. Finn puts his hand on his heart but, mistakenly puts it on his right side of his chest. RACHEL Your hearts on the other side of your chest. She places her hand on Finn's and moves it to the left side of his chest. They look at each other. FINN Oh. (LAUGHS SLIGHTLY) (MORE)

"Glee"

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 46.

FINN (CONT'D) It's beating really hard. Youre cool, Rachel.

RACHEL Do you want a drink? FINN Yeah. Rachel takes two plastic cups, and pours the drinks. RACHEL Virgin Cosmos. FINN Cool. That stuff you said at the Celibacy Club - That was really cool. She hands him his drink. FINN (CONTD) Thanks. RACHEL Well, Cheers. FINN Cheers. Cups are like the airplane cups. He chuckles, and they drink. They stop drinking. Finn notices some of the Cosmo on Rachel's lip. FINN (CONTD) You've got a little Cosmo right... Finn wipes the drink away from Rachel's lip. RACHEL You know, you can kiss me, if you want to. FINN I want to. He lays her down gently on the pillow, and they kiss. He pulls away. RACHEL What? Hes done it again... FLASHBACK:

"Glee"

1x02 - "Showmance"

by Ryan, Ian, Brad 47.

23A

INT. CAR - FLASHBACK The man hits the car, brakes screech. CAROLE (SCREAMING) OH, MY GOD!

23A

BACK TO: 23B INT. AUDITORIUM - WMHS - CONTINUOUS He groans and stands up. RACHEL Did I do something wrong? FINN No, no. Um, I just gotta go. Look, please dont tell anybody about this, okay? He leaves the stage awkwardly, leaving Rachel feeling all alone and crying. CUT TO: 24 INT. HOSPITAL - DAY 24 23B

Terri is having her ultrasound. The doctor puts the jelly on, and rubs it with the machine. TERRI I dont want my baby to grow an extra arm just because I live in squalor and Im so stressed. But nothing shows up on the screen. TERRI (CONTD) So, I want you to run any and all tests you have. DR. WU Trust me, Youre clear. TERRI Are you sure? DR. WU Positive. TERRI Is it a boy or a girl? DR. WU Um...

"Glee"

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 48.

He sit down, preparing to give the bad news. DR. WU (CONTD) I dont quite know how to put this. Theres no baby. Terri quickly rises from the bed. TERRI Did it fall out? Dr. Wu chuckles at the thought, Terri is serious. He stops laughing quickly. DR. WU Uh, no. Uh, youre not pregnant. TERRI But Ive gained 10 pounds. DR. Its probably see a chicken you must have WU from eating. I can wing in there that swallowed whole.

Terri looks at him. Oh... DR. WU (CONTD) Youre having whats called a hysterical pregnancy. You want a baby so badly that your body mimics the symptoms. Terri looks calmly distressed. DR. WU (CONTD) If youre meant to get pregnant, itll happen. Terri stares into the abyss, planning her next move. She lays back down with a groan. END ACT

"Glee"

1x02 - "Showmance"

by Ryan, Ian, Brad 49.

ACT FIVE 25 INT. CHOIR ROOM - WMHS - DAY Will sits at the piano. WILL I have to say, Im really surprised you guys are trying out. He is talking to SANTANA, QUINN and BRITTANY. QUINN Im sure youve read about this in the school paper. Finn and I have been an item for a while now. So what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didnt support him? WILL Well, lets see what you got. Will clicks the stereo - I SAY A LITTLE PRAYER - Mid-tempo dance beat. They bust out a funky little dance routine as Santana and Brittany sing backup for Quinn. BRITTANY/SANTANA SAY A LITTLE PRAYER FOR YOU QUINN THE MOMENT I WAKE UP/ BEFORE I PUT ON MY MAKE UP BRITTANY/SANTANA 25

MAKE UP
QUINN I SAY A LITTLE... BRITTANY/SANTANA PRAYER FOR YOU QUINN WHILE COMBING MY HAIR NOW/ AND WONDERING WHAT DRESS TO WEAR NOW BRITTANY/SANTANA

WEAR NOW
QUINN I SAY A LITTLE... BRITTANY/SANTANA PRAYER FOR YOU

"Glee"

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 50.

ALL FOREVER, FOREVER/ YOULL STAY IN MY HEART/ AND I WILL LOVE YOU/ FOREVER AND EVER/ WE NEVER WILL PART/ OH, HOW I LOVE YOU/ TOGETHER, TOGETHER/ THATS HOW IT MUST BE/ TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU/ WOULD ONLY MEAN HEARTBREAK FOR ME And the song ends. CUT TO: 26 INT. SUES OFFICE - WMHS - DAY Sue sits at her desk, with the three Cheerios before her. Santana, Brittany and Quinn. SUE Let me get this straight: youre joining Glee Club? QUINN Im sorry, Coach Sylvester, but something is going on between Finn and that thing. You saw how it was undressing him with its eyes. Please dont kick us off the cheerios! Sue clicks her fingers, and points at Quinn. SUE Cease fire on the water works. I dont want to hear it, I dont want to see it. You know Q, when I first laid eyes on you, I was reminded of a young Sue Sylvester, though you dont have my bone structure, but it wasnt until this very moment I saw how alike we really are. You three are going to be my spies. I need eyes on the inside. Were going to bring this club down from within. Santana and Brittany chuckle and high five each other. Quinn smiles at Sue. QUINN And Im gonna get my boyfriend back! 26

"Glee"

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 51.

SUE I dont care so much about that. CUT TO: 27 INT. HALLWAY - WMHS - CONTINUOUS Emma is scrubbing the water fountain with a TOOTHBRUSH as Will roams the corridors. WILL Hey, Emma! Guess what? I found these new disinfecting bleach wipes. He shows her. WILL (CONTD) What do you say? Boys bathroom in the science wing? Nine Oclock? EMMA Will, what are we doing? I mean, youre having a baby... Awkward. EMMA (CONTD) Um, and anyway, uh- I have a date. WILL (HURT) Oh, thats great. Yeah. With who? EMMA Im gonna go to Tulip-A-Looza. With Ken. Will looks very disappointed, hurt. He fakes a smile. She grabs her things and walks away, just as upset. Will looks back as she leaves. CUT TO: 28 INT. WILLS APARTMENT - NIGHT Will enters his apartment. TERRI Theres my man. As she stands with a candle igniter. She clicks it on, and lights a candle. TERRI (CONTD) Bringing home the bacon. 28 27

"Glee"

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 52.

WILL You- You made dinner. I thought youd be asleep. TERRI Well, I wanted to talk to you about something, so I made you chicken pot pie - from scratch. He chuckles, she sits down at the table. WILL Terri, thats so thoughtful. IHe sits down. WILL (CONTD) Yeah, you know, Ive been working so hard lately, some- sometimes I forget what Im doing it for. Familys whats important to me. You, and the little guy or gal on the way. Terri looks slightly taken aback. WILL (CONTD) I hope you know that. TERRI Yeah. WILL Im sorry. What was it you wanted to talk about? She looks slightly depressed. TERRI I went to the baby doctor today. WILL And? TERRI And... BEAT. TERRI (CONTD) Its a boy. Will smiles, Terri is still shocked by the lie she has just told her own husband. WILL Oh, my god. Terri, thats amazing.

"Glee"

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 53.

She giggles along with him. TERRI Yeah. WILL Oh, my god. Oh! He hugs her, she looks terrified, as he laughs. TERRI Uh, I want you to give up being a janitor. WILL What? TERRI Yeah. We dont need a new house. Well turn my craft room into a nursery. Its a compromise that I want to make. WILL Really? TERRI Yeah. You know, the only project that I want to work on now is us. They kiss. WILL I love you so much. He laughs happily as she looks scared, possibly for the future. CUT TO: 29 INT. CHOIR ROOM - WMHS 29

A shot of the sheet music - JOURNEY - DONT STOP BELIEVIN PAN UP to see Rachel. RACHEL Youre giving Quinn Fabray the solo? Thats my solo. WILL You made this happen, Rachel. You were the one who wanted to sell sex at the assembly. Quinns audition song was on Figgins approved list, and frankly, she did a heck of a job singing it.

"Glee"

1x02 - "Showmance"

by Ryan, Ian, Brad 54.

RACHEL Youre punishing me. WILL Contrary to your beliefs, its not all about you. She looks down, disappointed. WILL (CONTD) Or, Ive realized, about me. Look, I screwed up too. Im as responsible for what you did at that assembly as you are. She looks at him, confused. WILL (CONTD) I should never have pushed disco so hard. When we did it back in 93, the disco revival was in its heyday. It was cool. We had fun. And that - That is what Glee is supposed to be about. She looks down again. WILL (CONTD) If were gonna succeed, we both need to change our mind sets. Youre not always gonna be the star. She looks up, yet again, horrifed at the comment. WILL (CONTD) But I promise to do my best to make sure youre always having fun. This is a good thing, Rachel. Were on our way. He grabs his bag and begins to leave. RACHEL Can I use the auditorium later to practice? Our neighbors are filing a lawsuit. WILL Sure. He smiles and leaves, as we hear the intro to Rihannas TAKE A BOW. Rachel looks down with disappointment in herself. CUT TO:

"Glee"

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by Ryan, Ian, Brad 55.

30

INT. AUDITORIUM - WMHS - LATER

30

Rachel stands before the microphone, lights on her. Shes the star right now. She looks out, determined. RACHEL YOU LOOK SO DUMB RIGHT NOW/ STANDING OUTSIDE MY HOUSE We REVEAL MERCEDES and TINA with Microphones behind her, giving her backup. RACHEL (CONTD) TRYIN TO APOLOGIZE/ YOURE SO UGLY WHEN YOU CRY/ PLEASE, JUST CUT IT OUT CUT TO: 30A INT. RACHELS BEDROOM - MONTAGE She sings into her orange hairbrush. RACHEL AND DONT TELL ME YOURE SORRY/ CAUSE YOURE NOT/ BABY, WHEN I KNOW/ YOURE ONLY SORRY YOU GOT CAUGHT CUT TO: 30B INT. HALLWAY - WMHS - MONTAGE She sings, and looks on as Finn talks to his girlfriend, Quinn. Apparently rejecting any feelings toward Rachel. CUT TO: 30C INT. AUDITORIUM - WMHS - MONTAGE RACHEL BUT YOU PUT ON QUITE A SHOW/ REALLY HAD ME GOIN Tina and Mercedes vocalize their backing behind her. RACHEL (CONTD) NOW ITS TIME TO GO/ CURTAINS FINALLY CLOSIN/ THAT WAS QUITE A SHOW/ VERY ENTERTAINING CUT TO: 30D INT. HALLWAY - WMHS - MONTAGE She is still watching them in despair. 30D 30C 30B 30A

"Glee"

1x02 - "Showmance"

by Ryan, Ian, Brad 56.

RACHEL BUT ITS OVER NOW CUT TO: 30E INT. AUDITORIUM - WMHS - MONTAGE RACHEL GO ON AND TAKE A BOW CUT TO: 30F INT. HALLWAY - WMHS - MONTAGE RACHEL 30F 30E

OH
CUT TO: 30G INT. RACHELS BEDROOM - MONTAGE RACHEL AND THE/ AWARD FOR/ THE BEST LIAR CUT TO: 30H INT. HALLWAY - WMHS - MONTAGE RACHEL GOES TO YOU/ FOR MAKIN ME BELIEVE/ THAT YOU COULD BE FAITHFUL TO ME CUT TO: 30I INT. AUDITORIUM - WMHS - MONTAGE RACHEL LETS HEAR YOUR SPEECH/ OHHH! Tina and Mercedes vocalize their backings as Rachel Adlibs her Oh! CUT TO: 30J INT. HALLWAY - WMHS - MONTAGE RACHEL NOW ITS TIME TO GO/ CURTAINS FINALLY CLOSIN PAN OUT to show Finn and Quinn together. 30J 30I 30H 30G

"Glee"

1x02 - "Showmance"

by Ryan, Ian, Brad 57.

RACHEL (CONTD) THAT WAS QUITE A SHOW/ VERY ENTERTAINING CUT TO: 30K INT. RACHELS BEDROOM - MONTAGE RACHEL BUT ITS OVER NOW/ GO ON AND TAKE A BOW CUT TO: 30L INT. AUDITORIUM - WMHS - MONTAGE RACHEL BUT ITS OVER NOW The music ends, as she looks out over the auditorium. CUT TO: 30M INT. HALLWAY - WMHS - MONTAGE She turns and walks away as Finn and Quinn laugh at each other. END ACT FIVE END EPISODE 30M 30L 30K