---??? - Slovenia's Selection - Slovenia chooses their Eurovision song while dealing with their ongoing identity crisis...

Slovenia's Selection Tonight was the night that Slovenia would choose their Eurovision song. Maja Keuc was also going to be presenting, alongside the usual host, as Maja is one of the few Slovenians who does not confuse her country with Slovakia. The president of Slovenia, President Danilo, had decided that Maja would be a fine candidate to lead Slovenia out of their current identity crisis, which had left many young Slovenians thinking that they are Slovakian. Slovenia's ongoing identity crisis annoyed Maja Keuc, she didn't understand how anyone could confuse her country with Slovakia, especially if Slovenians were confusing themselves with Slovakia. It just didn't make sense to her. The stage lit up in the Ljubljana Arena, as two people stepped out onto the stage. "Hey everyone!" Maja smiled. "Hello to all, and welcome to EMA 2012! This is our Eurovision selection," said Klemen Slakonja, the host of EMA, "And here joining me is Maja Keuc, we both welcome you to the Slovakian Eurovision selection!" "For god sake this is Slovenia, not Slovakia!" Maja yelled. "Yeah, yeah, that's what I meant to say," Klemen smiled, "Uh... anyway, tonight we will be choosing between two amazing Slovak... uh... Slovenian acts. Tonight, you will be choosing from legendary singer Eva Boto, or the legendary twins, Nika and Eva Prusnik. Tonight, Slovenia, our mission is Eurovision!" "Yes, that's right, Klemen," Maja smiled, "Tonight, you will decide who will represent Slovenia this year in the Eurovision Song Contest. Can we have a repeat of our qualification of last year? I certainly hope so!" "So, without further ado, let's welcome onto the stage, Eva Boto, and her first song 'Verjamem'!" The crowd clapped as Eva Boto came onto the stage. Each of the two artists had three songs each that they would peform, and the Slovenian public would then vote for whichever song they liked the best, and the two songs with the most votes would come back in the superfinal. The winner of the superfinal would then go on to represent Slovenia in the Eurovision Song Contest. Slovenia was very happy at being in the Eurovision again, and they were also pleased that, unlike many other countries, the weirdness of the Eurovision did not seem to touch Slovenia. And the Slovenian Eurovision entrants were relatively safe from the weird goings on that seemed to effect the surrounding countries. After all the songs were done, Klemen and Maja came back out onto the stage. "Now, let's explain how this voting works..." Klemen said, "One song from Eva and one song from the twins shall go into the superfinal, where you will be allowed to vote again for your

favourite song! The winning song will then represent us at the Eurovision Song Contest 2012 in Baku!" "Good luck to all our performers tonight!" Maja smiled. ---"While we count up the votes, here is the French Eurovision entrant this year, Anggun!" Klemen said. "Thank you, Klemen-san. Arigato. I enjoyed very much the twins song about Japan, Konichiwa, I am honoured to be here in Slovakia." "Slovenia!!!" Maja yelled. "Uh... right," Anggun said, "I am very sorry, Slovenia." Maja sighed. "Even the foreigners are now confusing us with Slovakia," Maja said. "Well," Klemen smiled, "It's great to have you hear in Slovakia with us, Anggun!" "Slovenia!!!" Maja said, "We are Slovenia." "Yes, Slovenia! That's what I meant, of course. So, anyway," Klemen said, "Anggun is here to sing her Eurovision entry 'Echoes (You and I)', isn't that right, Anggun?" "It is sure right, Klemen-san," Anggun said, and then she performed her Eurovision song. The crowd loved it. "Thank you Slovenia!" Anggun smiled. "12 points from Slovenia! That was great!" Maja smiled, as Anggun walked off the stage. But there still needed to be more time to count the votes. "The votes are not ready yet..." Maja said, "But don't worry, we'll have them as soon as we can!" "Yes, but that's not a problem. As we have many more things to show you and we also have some amazing Slovenian acts for you tonight... we have Zlatan Cordic, otherwise known as Zlatko, with his new song... Mism Zvezda!" said Klemen. The crowd cheered. "And also a performance of Samo Ljubezen for our wonderful fans!" Maja said. The crowd cheered again. "And another round of applause please for our potential Eurovision entrants who are waiting nervously backstage!" Klemen said, as the audience clapped again. ---Meanwhile, backstage in the green room, Eva Boto was sitting with Nika and Eva Prusnik. "Well," Nika said, "Let the best song win!" "Indeed," Eva Boto smiled, "Whichever one of us goes, we shall do our country proud at the Eurovision Song Contest!" "Who knows," said Eva Prusnik, "The Eurovision could even be hosted here, next year." ---Klemen then came out onto the stage, holding the results. "This is it..." Maja said, "We now have the results." "Yes, we do," said Klemen, "And I can now reveal to you that the songs through to the superfinal are... Eva Boto with 'Verjamem', and the Prusnik twins with 'Konichiwa'!" Eva's song, 'Verjamem', was one of the favourites, but the twins song, 'Konichiwa' was another favourite, so it was hard to say whose song would win. ---The three singers were still waiting in the green room. "Good luck everyone," said Eva Prusnik. "Yes, we need this luck," said Nika Prusnik, "Don't worry about what happens..." "None of us should worry," Eva Boto smiled, "We were all great tonight." ---A little while later, Klemen came out onto the stage with yet more results. "Now it is time for the winner," said Maja, "Good luck to everyone!" "And the winner," Klemen said "Our winning song, and our entrant at the Eurovision this year is... it's Eva Boto's 'Verjamem'! Eva Boto, come out of the green room and onto the stage please!" The crowd cheered and clapped as Eva Boto came out onto the stage one more time and she performed her song 'Verjamem' which was now Slovenia's song in the Eurovision Song Contest. "Thank you Slovenia!" Eva Boto smiled, and Maja smiled too, as someone had finally gotten the name of her country right. Maja couldn't help but feel happy whenever someone recognised her country as Slovenia, and didn't confuse it with Slovakia.

"Maybe this identity crisis will be over soon," Maja thought to herself, "Of course it will... there is only one name for us, and that is Slovenia!" The crowd cheered as Eva Boto happily accepted the EMA trophy from Klemen Slakonja, and also the position as Slovenian Eurovision entrant. It was truly a happy day in Slovenia. The End. ---??? - De Troubadour - It's Eurovision 1969 and the host is General Franco himself! What could possibly go wrong? De Troubadour It was the day of the Eurovision 1969, which was being hosted in Spain, as Massiel had won the year previously. All of Spain were exited that they could showcase their country to the world, and General Franco was extremely happy, as he got what he had wanted all along... a Eurovision victory. It didn't matter to him one bit that he had to cheat to get it. Austria had announced their withdrawal from this years Eurovision, as they disagreed with Franco's regime. A lot of people disagreed with Franco's regime, but the other countries didn't feel as strongly as Austria, which is why they sent entrants to the Eurovision Song Contest. The Eurovision entrants were sitting in the green room, waiting for the Eurovision to start. There were many pictures on the walls of Spanish flags, and paintings of Spanish cities all over the walls. "So, I heard that Salvador Dali painted these pictures," said Lenny Kuhr, the Dutch entrant. "Oh yes," said Salome, the Spanish entrant, "He did those especially for the Eurovision. We have a lot to thank him for, he has made Spain very popular with his beautiful landscape paintings." "You indeed have more to thank Salvador Dali than you do that greedy dictator Franco," said Jarkko. "Jarkko stop," said Laura. Jarkko and Laura were the two Finnish entrants. "Yeah Jarkko, stop," said Salome, "You may not believe it but we have a lot to thank him for too." Lulu, the British entrant was sitting on a couch with Tommy Korberg, the Swedish entrant. "So Tommy, I heard you showed up to the Eurovision last year instead of this year?" Lulu asked. "Oh, yeah, that's true," Tommy said, "How embarrasing." "How did that happen?" Lulu laughed. "You know, the Swedish TV which does the Eurovision have been pretty bad lately," Tommy said, "They told me I was going to be in the Eurovision last year... so I turned up in London, but it turns out that they'd made a mistake and they really meant for me to be on this year!" "Oh my," Lulu said, "That is terrible. I've known since last year though that I'd be on the Eurovision, though. It seems everyone makes their decisions early..." "Yeah, they do," Tommy said, "Which lead to my mix-up last year. Luckily they let me into the building though, you should have seen the rain! How do you Brits put up with weather like that?!" "Oh, we get used to it, believe me! Anyway, since you were in the building, did you see what happened when the mad fan got in?" Lulu asked, "I heard a lot about that." "Yeah, he went straight over to Karel Gott and Cliff Richard and started whispering about Catalonia or something and then he ran off..." Tommy said, "It was weird, but he wasn't there for very long. I'm not even sure if he was a 'mad fan' at all, but that's what Terry Wogan thought he was." "Well, Wogan's been wrong before," Lulu laughed, "For not sending me to Eurovision every year, that is." --Meanwhile, Ivan was sitting with his band 4M. "So, I hear Austria isn't taking part this year," Ivan said, "Because the contest is being held by General Franco. They don't approve of his regime, you see." "Aye," said Muriel Day, the Irish entrant, "You know I heard a rumour that the Austrian entrant last year saw something, and that's why they don't want to be in a Franco-staged

contest." "I heard rumours that it was Franco who rigged the votes last year, and that the Austrian and the Brit saw it," said Louis Neefs, the Belgian entrant, "But I think there's a lot of politics in this, the democratic countries want to get rid of Franco, but is it their place to do so?" "Well that's the thing you see," said Jean Jacques, "It's all political." "That's why I like being from Luxembourg," said Romuald, "We don't really have any politics fuelled things like that." "Count us Swiss in, too," said Paola Del Medico, "If it's one thing I like, it's being neutral." "Aye," said Muriel Day, "Aye aye. If there's one thing I want, it's to be from one of your two countries. Ireland is such a powder keg at the moment... you know? I wish we could be more like the Swiss." "Well, everyone wants to be more like us!" Paola smiled. "Indeed," said Iva Zanicchi, "But Switzerland is only a copycat of Italy." "And Germany!" said Siw Malmkvist. "And France too!" said Frida Boccara. "Oh, quiet you guys, it's starting, the Eurovision's starting!" Lulu smiled, "Here we go!" ---The audience cheered as General Franco stepped out onto the stage. "Hello, welcome to Eurovision 1969, I am your host, General Franco!" Franco said. "Well of course," Lulu said from the green room, "Of course Franco always has to make everything about himself." "It's never been about Eurovision for Franco," said Simone de Oliveira, the Portuguese entrant, "It's always been about himself. He's so full of himself, it's obscene, I mean really." But Franco could hear them as the audience were being very quiet, and Lulu and Simone were being very loud. "What did you just say?!" Franco yelled as he ran into the green room, "Shut up you horrid Brit! And you too, you horrible Portuguese!!! I am Spanish, I hate Portugal!!!! How dare you insult me, the glorious ruler of Spain?!" "Franco give it a rest already," Jarkko said, "We're quite frankly, all sick of that old claptrap back in Finland. Also, there are many of us Eurovision entrants in here, and only one of you! So don't threaten us, you nasty dictator!" "There may be only one of me, but my army is numerous!" Franco screamed, "Do you want me to bring the Spanish army here? Huh? Do you?!" "Go on then," Jarkko said, "We're not scared of you!" "Jarkko, please stop," Laura said, "This guy's a nutter! Let's not mess with this loon." "A nutter?! A loon?!" Franco yelled, "That's it, I'm off to get the army in here right now! You insolent Eurovision entrants, how dare you!!!" "No guys," said Salome, "Let's stop this, right now. We shouldn't be fighting like this. As the Spanish Eurovision entrant, I promote peace between my country Spain and all other countries..." "No, you are stupid!" Franco yelled, "We don't want peace! We want to take over all of the other countries in the entire world!!! Especially Portugal, we are Spanish we hate all Portuguese!!!" "We want peace, Franco," said Salome. "You may want peace but I am the ruler of Spain," Franco smiled, "So what I say goes! Down with Portugal! Up with Spain!" "Stop saying that you hate Portugual, Franco!" yelled Simone de Oliveira. "No I won't because it's bloomin' true!" Franco yelled, "I hate Portugual, hate hate hate!" "Can we just get on with the Eurovision, please?" said Frida Boccara, the French entrant. "Agreed," said Kirsti Sparboe, the Norwegian entrant, "Eurovision is not a place for politics. It is a place for music." "Fine!" Franco said, "But stop talking about me in the green room or you'll really get it!" "Fine," Lulu said. And so Franco went back out to the stage. "So uh... anyway, welcome to the Eurovision, guys!" Franco said. The audience clapped and cheered. "Ah, so, who is the first entrant up tonight, oh, it's Yugoslavia!" said Franco, "Well peeps, enjoy the show, I'll be back once you've seen all the amazing songs tonight. They're all great, except for Portugal's, I hate the Portuguese!" "Hey!" yelled Simone de Oliveira from inside the green room. "Enjoy guys," Franco smiled as he left the stage.

---And so all the Eurovision entrants performed one by one, the audience clapping and cheering with each song. People from all over the world had come to Spain to see the Eurovision. After all the songs had finished, the juries of the countries started to rate their favourite songs of the night. When the votes had been handed in, Franco came out onto the stage. "Well, come on out, Eurovision entrants," said Franco, looking towards the green room. And so all the Eurovision entrants came out onto the stage. Franco went over to Laurita Valenzuela, who had also come onto the stage. She was busy counting the votes. "Oh my," Laurita said, "Oh my, my my..." "What is it?" Franco asked, "Do you have a winner?" "Sort of..." Laurita said, "We sort of have... more than one winner... this year..." "What?" Franco said, looking down at the piece of paper which had the scores on it. "You see? We have four winners!" "Well well well," said General Franco, "It looks like you're right, Laurita." "I guess that makes this a tie," said Siw Malmkvist, "Ah well, good luck, everyone!" "No," Franco said, "We don't do 'ties' here in Spain. We have a way of deciding which entrant will be the winner and who will host the Eurovision next year. We'll do this... the Spanish way!" "The... Spanish way..." Salome said, "Oh no... oh no..." "What?" Lulu asked, "What's wrong Salome, what does he mean 'the Spanish way'?" "Oh, you'll see," Salome said, "But you better hope you're not one of the winners, because it is bad, very bad..." "Ok, so," Franco said, "The four winners are... first of all, of course, my glorious country Spain, we have Salome with her song 'Vivo Cantando'. Next is the United Kingdom, it's Lulu with 'Boom Bang-A-Bang'. Next is the Netherlands, it's Lenny Kuhr with 'De Troubadour'. And last, and most definitely least, because it's our less than tolerable neighbours France... it's Frida Boccara with her song 'Un jour, un enfant'." The audience cheered for the winners. "So, those are our winners!" Franco said, "Our four winners, but, as you all know at home, there can only be one true winner at Eurovision. Will the Eurovision entrants who are not one of the four winners please return to the green room? It's only for a little while, I promise." And so, all of them went back into the green room except for the four winners. "Now, will the four winners come with me, please?" Franco asked, and so they followed Franco off the stage and they walked off, down a dark and dimly lit corridor. Salome recognised this corridor. "Franco, don't do this," Salome said, "There must be another way." "There is no other way, Salome," Franco said, "I admire your optimism but really, get a grip! Anyway, it probably boils down to the fact that you're from Catalonia, so you're not really Spanish at all!" "Excuse me Franco, but I am Spanish and I am also Catalonian!" said Salome. "Eh, whatever," Franco said, "We're here." Franco walked over to a wooden door and opened it, revealing a huge arena concealed in the middle of the stadium. It was a huge, square shaped room, with a small circular stage in the middle. Even stranger, was that there were four tanks, one in each corner of the room. "What the..." Lulu said. "So," Franco laughed, "Here we are, Eurovision entrants, now we will see... who is the true winner of Eurovision!" "What's going on in here?!" Frida asked, "Why are there tanks and stuff?" "Well you see, here in Spain," Franco said, "The only way to solve things is by violence! So, you each have a tank, and you shoot at the other tanks, whoever is left at the end is the winner!" "What?!" Lulu yelled, "You can't do that!!!" "Oh, yes I can," Franco laughed, "As the dictator of Spain I can do whatever I please!" "No Franco!" Salome said, "Let's not do this! Let's just... toss a coin... or draw straws!" "No Salome," Franco laughed again, "Those are just tests of luck, a tank battle is a test of skill!" "But we have no idea how to drive tanks!" Lulu yelled, "This is ridiculous!" "I demand a recount of the votes!" Frida said, "And for you to stop this nonsense

immeadiately!" "We have already recounted the votes," Franco said, "Many times... if you want for this to stop you can always surrender the fight... but you will become... a Eurovision loser!!! And someone else will be crowned the winner of course!" "You think we care about that?!" Lulu yelled, "You think we care about some rotten contest? Come on guys, let's all surrender the fight." Just then, Lenny Kuhr ran over to one of the tanks. "No way!" Lenny laughed, "You're all just scared that you can't beat me! Ahahahaha!" "Lenny!" Salome yelled, "Stop that! You're just playing into Franco's hands! This is what he wants!" "Hahahaha, yes my dears," Franco laughed, "This is exactly what I want! Ahahahahaha!" "Lenny get out of that tank this instant," Frida yelled, "You are supporting an evil Spanish dictatorship by doing this!" Lenny then pressed a button on the tank and the tank started to drive towards Franco. "I am the winner now, Franco!" Lenny laughed, "Who dares to challenge me?!" "You think you're so tough?" Lulu said, as she went to get one of the other tanks. "Lulu!" Salome yelled. "Ach, Brits," Frida muttered, "They always have to be the best at everything." Lulu sighed. "I have no idea how to get into this god damn tank!" she yelled, "Oh well, I guess it is for the best. I surrender too... reluctantly. So I guess this makes you the winner, Lenny. Congrats." "Yeah!" Lenny yelled happily, "I am the winner!" "Well... looks like that's it then!" Franco smiled, "The winner is, the Netherlands!!! A big congratulations to Lenny Kuhr and her song, 'De Troubadour'! Congratulations Netherlands!" "Hooray!" Lenny smiled, "This is the best day ever!" "Well, thank you to everyone for joining us here today at the Eurovision Song Contest," smiled General Franco to the cameras that were on the wall, "And another big congratulations to the Netherlands, the winning country! Next years Eurovision shall be held there, so I hope you can join us next year for the next Eurovision!" "Thank you Spain!" Lenny said, as Franco went and got the Eurovision trophy to give to Lenny. ---A number of countries were extremely upset with the way that the Spanish had handled that year's Eurovision, especially Finland, Norway, Sweden, Austria, and of course Spain's biggest enemies, Portugal. Not that Franco really cared, he had got what he had wanted all along, his Eurovision victory. Lenny Kuhr was happy too, as she was the only one of the Eurovision winners brave enough to enter one of the tanks, the Eurovision would be hosted in the Netherlands the next year. And she had redeemed last years Dutch entrant, Ronnie Tober, who had got 0 points, because the president of the Netherlands had threatened that he would be expelled if the next Dutch entrant had gotten a high mark. ---A little while later, Lenny was sitting on a bench in the park, looking at the ducks swimming in the pond. She was glad to be back in the Netherlands, and proud to say that she had done her country proud. There were houses in the distance, and she could see that all of them had Dutch flags hanging on them, to celebrate their victory in the Eurovision. Ronnie Tober came up behind her, holding a Dutch flag. "Oh, hey Ronnie," Lenny said, "I see you're celebrating too!" "Yup!" Ronnie said, "We're all pretty happy, I'm glad something put us all into the Dutch spirit!" "I know, right? I'm so happy that I've won!" Lenny said. "And a good thing you won too, they're all far too busy concentrating on your victory to talk about my terrible result last year!" Ronnie smiled. "To be fair Ronnie, I thought your song was pretty good last year," Lenny said, "It's those juries, they're totally rigged. Last year's was rigged by Franco, did you hear?" "Oh, yeah, some rumour about Cliff Richard and the Austrian guy or something," Ronnie said, "I don't know, though, Franco is in charge of a whole country, what does he stand to gain by wasting so much time rigging something as insignificant as the Eurovision Song Contest?" "Insignificant?!" Lenny yelled, "Ronnie, no way! The Eurovision is the most important TV show we have, across all of Europe, but especially here in the Netherlands. That is why we

must work to keep it safe and also to take accusations of jury rigging seriously!" "Well, whatever," Ronnie said, "Anyway, if the juries were rigged this year, this means that you and the other winners didn't really win." "Oh!" Lenny said, "Well, in that case, I take all of that back. Of course the juries aren't rigged! Who would rig Eurovision? Don't be silly!" "Yeah, I thought you'd backtrack on that, hahaha," Ronnie laughed, "The important thing, of course, is that the contest makes this country happy. Finally, we've found something we're good at!" "I guess you're right," Lenny said, "I guess you're right." And the two of them sat on the bench, looking across at the rows of Dutch flags in the distance, celebrating the third time ever that the Netherlands had won the Eurovision Song Contest. The End. ---??? - The Pokemon Duels - The Netherlands have found a new way to choose their Eurovision entrant, with Pokemon duels! The Pokemon Duels Lenny Kuhr remembered that day, when she won the Eurovision. And even though it was over 40 years ago, she was still just as happy about it as she was back then. And she was even happier today, as it was finally the night of the Dutch song contest 'Nationaal Songfestival'. The people of the Netherlands hoped that nothing bad would happen like it had last year, when the 3JS were caught up in the after effects of the oncoming civil war in Belgium. But there was hardly any threat to the Netherlands now, although still disliked by many countries, the countries of the world had toned down their public hatred of the Netherlands, instead choosing to increase their public hatred of Lithuania, due to Kaliopi's actions there and due to Kaliopi's numerous powers. ---The audience in the stadium cheered, they were so exited for the Dutch national final, and tonight they knew, there would be a new method of selecting the winning song, a method that put the public's favourite game, the PVR System, to good use. Jan Smit, the host of Nationaal Songfestival, came out onto the stage. "Tonight something different will happen, we have set up Pokemon Duels in the PVR, the Pokemon Virtual Reality, and the winner of the duels will go on to represent the Netherlands at the Eurovision Song Contest. A public vote was decided on beforehand, and the type of Pokemon you turn into will depend on the amount of votes you have got. More votes mean that you will turn into a stronger Pokemon!" Jan Smit said, waving a Dutch flag in the air, "So, we have six songs tonight, Tim Douwsma with 'Undercover Lover; Pearl Jozefzoon with 'We Can Overcome'; Joan Franka with 'You And Me'; Raffaela with 'Chocolatte'; Ivan Peroti with 'Take Me As I Am and finally, last but not least, Kim de Boer with 'Children Of The World'. We hope that you all enjoy tonights very special show!" The audience clapped and cheered, some waving Dutch flags. "Ok guys," Jan Smit said, "All the contestants, would you step through into the PVR room and put on your assigned helmets? Lenny Kuhr will also be going through with you to make sure there is no cheating going on!" "Alright!" said Lenny Kuhr, and the seven of them went through into the PVR room. "This is gonna suck," Tim said. "Don't be so negative!" Pearl said, "We must be positive for the state of the Netherlands!" "The 'state' of the Netherlands, Pearl, is that no one likes us!" said Raffaela, "That's why we got last place in the Eurovision last year, you see? Because of stupid people who blame us and the Netherlands for everything!" "Guys," Lenny Kuhr said, "This all might be very, very true, but we must move on from this! Come, let us put on our helmets and travel into the PVR!" And so the six contestants and Lenny Kuhr all put on the PVR helmets, and were now in the Pokemon Virtual Reality. They looked around at the leafy trees and tall grass of Pokemon Forest. "Finally," said Ra "Bwahahahaha!" Lenny Kuhr smiled, "Finally, we are here, at the Pokemon Duels! This is, of

course, based on how I won the 1969 Eurovision Song Contest. There were four winners of the Eurovision that year, due to a tie, and so General Franco ordered a duel, and me and the three other winners all got a tank each to fight with. Luckily for me, the other three people surrendered, leaving me as the winner! Anyway, I am here to moderate these Pokemon matches. Remember, most of you will lose, for sure there can only be one winner for the Netherlands! So do not be disheartened at loss, it is a rough world in Eurovision... now, for the first two contestants... Tim Douwsma and Pearl Jozefzoon! Step over here, please!" Professor Oak stepped out from one of the buildings. "I am the NPC Professor Oak," said Professor Oak, "I have the power to turn you both into different Pokemon. The Pokemon you will transform into will reflect your skill and the power of your pokemon will reflect how much the public of the Netherlands enjoyed your song." A bright light glowed around Tim and Pearl, and, when it faded, Tim was a Bulbasaur and Pearl was a Charmander. "The green-lizard Pokemon, Bulbasaur, and the red fire-lizard Pokemon, Charmander," said Lenny Kuhr, "Two starter Pokemon..." "That is correct, Lenny," said Professor Oak, "You sure know your Pokemon! Now then... I declare the beginning of the first duel... NOW!" "You will never win again me!" laughed Pearl, as she walked closer to the Bulbasaur. "That's what you think! Vine whip!" Tim said as he threw vines at Pearl. "Hahahaha, a lowly Bulbasaur attack for a lowly Bulbasaur!" Pearl laughed, "I have superior Charmander attack! And remember that fire Pokemon are strong against leaf Pokemon!" "I wish I could have been turned into Squirtle..." Tim said sadly. "Haha, yes," Pearl said, " "Not so fast!" Tim yelled, "Vine whip!" And suddenly a load of vines appeared around Pearl and she was trapped in a leafy jail. "Ahahaha, I have you now, Pearl!" Tim said, as Pearl was trapped in the leafy vines. "Not so fast," Pearl smiled, as a bright light glowed around her, "I have one more trick I can use against you! It is I who shall win this duel! Not you!" "What the hell are you doing!" Tim yelled, confused by the light. "Ahahahaha," Pearl laughed, "I am evolving!" And when the light faded, Pearl was now a Charmeleon. "Uh oh!" Tim said as he tried to run away from the red dinosaur Pokemon. "Oh no you don't!" Pearl said, "Pepper breath!" And so Pearl shot huge fireballs at the Bulbasaur, tossing the Bulbasaur into the grass. "Ow... I give up," Tim said, "You're way too good at this." "Hahahaha, I told you I would win!" Pearl laughed. "End game!" shouted Professor Oak, "That is it. This duel is over! I declare Pearl the winner!" "Yeah!" Pearl said, "This Pokemon game is easy!" ---"And now," said Professor Oak, "For the next two contestants, Joan Franka and Raffaela Paton!" And so Joan and Raffaela walked over to Professor Oak as Pearl and Tim walked off. And so a bright light encased Joan and Raffaela. When it disappeared, Joan was a Caterpie and Raffaela was a Weedle. "Ah, and so we see here, two caterpillar pokemon," said Lenny Kuhr, "Ready... fight!" "String shot!" yelled Joan, and she shot out string which hit Raffaela and sent her flying into the long grass. Joan shot more string shots into the grass at Raffaela. "Oh no you don't!" Raffaela laughed, she had been inspired by Pearl's trick. The Weedle glowed a bright light and she evolved into a Kakuna. "A Kakuna..." Joan said, "No way! I won't allow you to perform Pearl's evolving trick! I will stop you! Caterpillar swirl!" And so Joan shot leaves at the Kakuna, but it was too late, as yet another bright light encased her and Raffaela transformed into a beedrill. "I am a beedrill now!" Raffaela laughed, "Bzzzzzzzt!" "No you don't!" Joan yelled, as a light glowed around her and she transformed into Metapod. "Puny Metapod!" yelled Raffaela, "I shall crush you! Bee Union Attack!" And so Beedrill shot a beam at the Metapod, tossing it against a tree, however, this caused the Metapod to hatch, a Butterfree coming out. "Oh yeah," Joan laughed, as she was now a Butterfree, "I will defeat you! Sleeping powder!"

And Joan threw sleeping powder at Raffaela, and Raffaela fell asleep on the ground. "Woo hoo!" said Joan, as the two of them turned back into people and Raffaela then woke up. "Good game," Raffaela said as the two of them walked back to the waiting area with Tim and Pearl. ---"And now for the third duel! The next two battlers are Kim de Boer and Ivan Peroti!" said Professor Oak. Ivan became a Sandshrew and Kim became a Magikarp. "Oh dear," said Lenny Kuhr, "This fight seems a tad unbalanced... Ivan is now a strong mouse-type Pokemon, whereas Kim is a weak fish-type Pokemon." "Noooo!" yelled Kim, "I don't want to be a Magikarp!" "Bwahahaha!" laughed Ivan, "Ok Kim, I'll make this quick. Sand slash!" And so Ivan tossed the Magikarp at Professor Oak. "Uh..." said Oak, "I guess that makes Ivan the winner! A Magikarp could never win against a Sandshrew! Ok, so Ivan, Joan and Pearl all advance to the next... and final round. The deciding round..." ---And so Ivan turned back into a Sandshrew, Joan turned back into a Butterfree and Pearl turned back into a Charmeleon. "Ok, so you have now returned to your Pokemon forms," smiled Lenny Kuhr, "This is gonna be good..." "Ok, ready, set, GO!" yelled Professor Oak. "Let's go go go!" yelled Ivan, as a bright light encirlced him and he turned into a Sandslash. "You think your mouse powers are any match against my butterfly freedom?" laughed Joan, "Sleeping powder!" And the sleeping power hit Ivan and he fell asleep. "Curses!" Pearl yelled, "Is there no limit to your powers, Butterfree?" Suddenly, a bright light encased Pearl and when it faded she was a Charizard. "Hahaha, I thought before that I had no chance... but now I can win! There's no way that a Butterfree can win against a Charizard!" laughed Pearl, "Flame attack!" And Pearl shot a fireball at Joan, but she flapped her wings and used her butterfly speed to evade the oncoming fireball. "Hahaha, that's just what you think," Joan laughed, "But a Butterfree can win any match! Sleeping powder!" And the sleeping powder hit the charizard, and Pearl flew to the floor. "So... I guess, I win?" Joan asked. "Yes! And that is it, everyone, the winner of the Pokemon Duels, Joan Franka!" smiled Lenny Kuhr, "Congratulations, Joan!" "I'm so happy!" said Joan, as she flew to the ground. A light glowed around her and she went back from being a Butterfree to being a person again. "You overused that sleeping powder," Raffaela said, "You should get a new tactic." "I don't need any new tactics," Joan laughed, "My sleeping powder defeats all! Butterfree is truly the strongest Pokemon!" Just then, Mushroomon, Tentomon and Agumon came running over. "Ah," said Lenny Kuhr, "And here are the Digimon who helped us out during the Dutch Digimon Crisis! Welcome, guys!" "Bzzzt, hello!" said Tentomon. "We're about to crown our new Eurovision entrant, Joan Franka," said Lenny. "Wonderful," said Mushroomon, "You'll do great, Joan!" "Yeah," said Agumon, "Go and make the Netherlands proud!" "I sure hope to!" Joan smiled, "Hopefully I can even stop the Netherlands losing streak, and we can qualify to the final!" "Hopefully!" said Lenny, "Hey, you might even win, like I did!" "Yeah!" Joan said, "I might even win!" And so they all came out of the PVR System, and all of them went back out onto the stage, as the audience clapped, very happy with the Dutch Eurovision song for 2012. The End. ----

??? - The Grand National - Kaliopi visits the Grand National and Crufts to end their enslavement of the animals! The Grand National The April breeze blew the leaves around the floor, as the birds flew around the trees. People were gathered in the stadium, to watch the Grand National. The interest in this bizzare horse race was mostly limited to horse breeders, as, while the Grand National was many things, it certainly did not have the popularity of the Eurovision Song Contest. The horses were all waiting in their stables. Kaliopi was here by the stables, her experience with being a mouse had made her wonder more about the hidden animal world, and she wondered why it took being turned into an animal to be able to talk to them. Kaliopi walked up to a stable which had three horses waiting inside. "Hello horses," said Kaliopi, "My name is Kaliopi Bukle. Who are you?" "Hello Kaliopi," said Seabass, "I am Seabass." "Oh, hey Seabass," said Kaliopi. "Oh my, you understood me!" yelled Seabass, "I see you have the ability to talk to animals! I have not seen that in a human for quite a while!" "Yes well," said Kaliopi, "I have only just got this power, but I have learned so much about animals in this time." Seabass looked at the other two horses standing next to him. "These are my friends Treacle and Calgary Bay!" Seabass said. "Hello!" said Treacle and Calgary Bay. "Hello," said Kaliopi, "I am Kaliopi. I am here to find out more about animals, such as thou. Why do you race in this 'Grand National' event?" "We do not choose to do it. It makes us sad to be race horses," said Calgary Bay, "We have been enslaved by humanity, forced to run pointless races like the Grand National and Ascot." "I can free you, if you'd like," Kaliopi said. "You could?" asked Treacle, "Really?" "Yes," said Kaliopi, "The nation of Britain shall not enslave horses any more!" And Kaliopi used her powers to unlock the stable door and it swung open. The three horses stepped outside. "And now to let all of the horses go," said Kaliopi, "This barbaric practice shall be practised no longer!" And all the stable doors swung open, and all the horses walked outside. "Freedom!" a dark horse said coming up to them, "But who has freed us?" "Ah, Mon Mome! Our liberator is with us! It is our good friend here, Kaliopi," said Seabass, "She can talk to animals, you know!" "Wow," said Mon Mome, "That's fantastic!" A brown horse walked over to them. "I am Vic Venturi," said the horse, "Kaliopi, you have proven yourself a hero among horses." "It was nothing," said Kaliopi, "I am always here to help my animal friends. It is what Litvy would have wanted." "We have advanced the equal rights for horses movement today," said Seabass, "And it is all thanks to you, Kaliopi." "Yes but this is not all," said Calgary Bay. "What do you mean?" asked Kaliopi. "There is another contest that is happening right now," said Treacle, "The show of enslaved dogs... Crufts!" "Then we must go to the Crufts stadium right now!" Kaliopi said. "Yes!" said Calgary Bay, "We horses stand up for the rights of all animals! We must stop this oppression at once!" ---Meanwhile, the Crufts trainer was training all the dogs in preparation for the Crufts contest, which was due to take place after the Grand National. The people of Crufts did not yet know that the Grand National had been cancelled permanently by Kaliopi. The Crufts trainer looked at the dogs who were sitting on the grass sadly. "Ahahahaha," laughed the Crufts trainer, as he threw a ball at the dogs, "You dogs are my eternal slaves! Ahahahahaha!" "Stop!" yelled Kaliopi, "In the name of Eurovision!" The Crufts trainer turned to see Kaliopi standing there, with all the horses of the Grand

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National behind her. "What on Earth is this?!" yelled the trainer, "Why are these slave horses not performing for us people at the Grand National races?!" "Because I have freed all of the Grand National horses!" Kaliopi yelled, "The Grand National is a vile and wicked contest, as is Crufts, you both must be stopped. In our pure and noble Eurovision we do not lower ourselves to using animals as slaves!" "You are a fool, lowly Eurovision entrant!" laughed the Crufts trainer, "The power of Lithuania runs through the Grand National and Crufts, bwahahahahaha!!! But of course you do already have experience in freeing animals, after all, you freed Iceland, a ha ha ha! Lowly Icelandics!!! They are as low as the Crufts dogs we have here! The Falklands should have been worse on Iceland, it was their mistake! But we won't be as nice as they were. For all your power Kaliopi, we have one thing that you don't!" "Oh yeah?" asked Kaliopi, "And what is that!" "We have the power over animals!" laughed the trainer, "Where you seek to free them, we can see the potential of animals as our slaves in the Grand National and Crufts!" And so the trainer blew a dog whistle, and the dogs all stood up to attention. "Oh no you don't," said Kaliopi and she used her powers and tossed the trainer into a bush. "It's stopped!" said a Yorkshire terrier. "No more dog whistles!" yelled Kaliopi, "Not now, not ever! You dogs are now free!" "Hooray!" said a golden retriever, "We are now free from the oppression of Crufts!" "Bwahahahaha," laughed Seabass, "This should have been done to the organisers of these two vile events long ago!" "Remember that it was America long ago who helped us horses of the Grand National," said Calgary Bay, "The Americans came to the Grand National, many years ago, and for one year, forced the British to treat us as equals instead of slaves. But then the Americans disappeared and things went back to the way they were..." "But not anymore!" Kaliopi said, "Things are fixed now, you are free!" "Wow Kaliopi," said Treacle, "We have a lot to thank you for here today. We shall never again be forced to run the Grand National races for Terry Wogan's evil British empire." "Macedonia will take over from America as the liberator of oppressed animals," said Kaliopi, "Once upon a time it was America who stood up for the rights of everyone everywhere, but thanks to Yusaki Hideki and the old PokeTech, America was lost. We, Macedonia, vow to stand up forever for the rights of you animals! We will continue America's good work! This is my pledge to you!" And the horses and dogs were happy, safe in the knowledge that they would never again be enslaved by people to take part in ridiculous contests. And, for the most part, the British public didn't mind either, as the only contest which mattered to them was the Eurovision Song Contest. The End. ---??? - Paradise - Disaster strikes at Serbia's presentation show when Coldplay decide to steal the song of Zeljko Joksimovic... Paradise Zeljko Joksimovic was sitting in his room, writing the finishing touches for his Eurovision song, 'Nije ljubav stvar'. "Ah, it's finally finished!" Zeljko smiled, "Perfect!" He had also written an English version of the song, called 'Synonym', which he would present with his Serbian version. Zeljko was hoping that nothing else strange would happen involving the Eurovision, after the weird events of the allocation draw. "It's getting late, I guess," Zeljko yawned and he left the room to go to bed. He didn't notice that he had left the window slightly open, as a man climbing a tree leaned over, and pulled out a camera. He picked up the paper with the Eurovision song on it, and took a picture of it. "Excellent," the man said, "Now we have a copy of the song... this Coldplay mission has been a success, I shall report back to the mansion with it..." And the man climbed down from the tree and ran off into the night. ----

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It was now a few days later, and the British band Coldplay were sitting in their mansion, Guy Berryman was looking down at a piece of paper he was holding. "So," said Chris Marten, "Did you get it? Did you get it?" "Yes," said Guy, "It took a while, but I have taken a copy of Serbia's Eurovision song for this year..." "Good," said Johnny Buckland, "Now we can steal it and make it into our own song, and no one will know because no one except for the Serbian singer has seen this song!" "It really is perfect," said Will Champion, "Only the Eurovision Serbian shall know about this... people will even think that he stole our song! Ahahaha!" "But... I want no one to know about our stealing!" yelled Chris Marten. He was worried because a few years ago Coldplay had broken into the studio of the Red Hot Chili Peppers and tried to steal some of their songs but they were caught and arrested by the police. "I know what you're thinking," said Will, "About the Red Hot Chili Peppers thing. But that was back when the police cared about things other than the Eurovision... when everyone cared about things other than the Eurovision..." "But don't you see! This is about Eurovision! We cannot let another mistake happen like last time..." said Chris, "So I have a plan... we must fly to Serbia and execute the Eurovision singer, with the power of Mylo Xyloto!!! Ahahahahahahaha!!!" "I agree!" said Will, "If we don't, the evil Eurovision fans could turn against us! We must go to Serbia and enforce the power of Coldplay!" "But I've already been to Serbia!" said Guy. "Excellent, you'll know it better than us then..." said Chris, "And you know where the Serbian guy lives so it'll be easy." "Well, if we get there tomorrow he won't be in his house because he'll be at Belgrade Arena showing his new Eurovision song to the public," said Guy, "So we must hurry if we want to go through with your plan!" "Curses!" yelled Chris, "We must stop him at once!" ---The next day, Zeljko Joksimovic was sitting in the green room of the Belgrade Arena, waiting to present his Eurovision song to the public. "Zeljko!" called a voice from outside, "It's time! Come on out!" Zeljko went out onto the stage of the arena. The audience clapped and cheered. "Hello everyone!" Zeljko smiled, "Welcome to my presentation show! Today I shall finally show you Serbia's Eurovision song for 2012!" Just then, the door to the arena flew open, and four people were standing there, holding machine guns. It was Coldplay. "Stop right there!" yelled Chris Marten, pointing his machine gun at Zeljko. "What's going on?!" Zeljko yelled, stepping back towards the green room. "You will not show your Eurovision song to the public, ever!" yelled Chris, "Your song no longer exists, all that exists is our song, Paradise! Ahahahahaha!" "This is lunacy!" Zeljko said, "What the hell are you even doing here?!" "We're here to stop you and the ridiculous Eurovision Song Contest!" Chris laughed, "Get the audience out of this god damn place, Guy." "Ok," Guy said, pointing his machine gun at the audience, "Well, you heard him, get out!" The audience went to the huge doors and opened them, running out of the stadium. Chris Marten pointed his machine gun at Zeljko. "Now don't be getting any ideas," Chris laughed, "You're not going anywhere!" "Nooo!" Zeljko yelled, "Stop it, what do you want from me?!" Suddenly, a bright light appeared, and Aslan, the great lion of Narnia, was standing there on the stage, by Zeljko. "What the...?" Zeljko yelled. "Shoot that god damn lion this instant!" Chris yelled. "Now now Coldplay," Aslan growled, "Surely you didn't think you could attack Zeljko and the Eurovision Song Contest and think that you could get away with it! Oh no, I'll make you pay for this!" Suddenly, the machine guns disappeared from Coldplay's hands and reappeared on the stage by Aslan and Zeljko. Another bright light appeared and Kaliopi teleported into the room. "Zeljko!" Kaliopi yelled, "Are you alright?!" "Uh... yeah," Zeljko said, "Hey Kaliopi..." "Hey," Kaliopi said, "Oh, Aslan! I see you're here!"

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"Yes, I see that you too were watching the Serbian presentation," Aslan smiled, "Small world." "Wait?!" Zeljko said, "Who is this... what... a talking lion?!" "Ah, Zeljko. I am Aslan, the great lion of Narnia..." "Narnia? Wait a minute... you're the lion from the 2011 Eurovision Song Contest! The one that attacked Jon Ola Sand! I thought you were just another one of his animals from Berlin Zoo... I..." "That's what a lot of people thought about me, Zeljko," Aslan smiled, "But no, I went there to stop Ola Sand's many acts of tyranny against the Eurovision..." "Aslan is sort of... a guardian of the Eurovision Song Contest," Kaliopi smiled, "And in a way, so am I!" Suddenly, they heard cars pulling up outside the Belgrade Arena. "Ah, people. I better go," Aslan smiled, "I assume you can take it from here, Kaliopi?" "Why of course, Aslan," Kaliopi said. "Good," Aslan said, before disappearing in a flash of light and returning to Aslan's Country. "This is nuts," Zeljko said. "Well, you'd rather it be nuts with me and Aslan than normal with those loons Coldplay, wouldn't you?" "Uh.. right! Kaliopi, you'll stay here, won't you?" Zeljko asked, "Until the police or whoever come..." "Ah, police," Kaliopi laughed, "I don't see why people don't just let me finish off things, it's far easier..." Just then, people in blue and red uniforms ran through the open door of the arena. The Serbian police had arrived at the building. "Ah, too late," said Kaliopi, "Too bad." "We're here to arrest the evil band Coldplay!" yelled one of the police officers. "Phew," said Zeljko, "Thanks, Kaliopi!" "You're welcome. I just wonder how they got machine guns in the first place," Kaliopi said. "Hmmm... and that's not all..." said Zeljko, looking down at one of the guns, "On the machine gun, look, it's a picture of a crown with a Union Jack on it, and you know what that means, don't you?" "No," said Kaliopi, "Wait... surely not... the British royal family?" "Yes," Zeljko said, "This must mean... someone from the British royal family supplied Coldplay with these guns..." "And I have a good idea who!" Kaliopi yelled, "Two certain royals who despise the Eurovision so much that they resort to disgraceful tactics such as this! As if what they did to Iceland wasn't bad enough!" "It's sad to think, that anyone could hate the Eurovision enough to do something like this..." Zeljko said sadly. "Yes it is," Kaliopi said, "But don't worry Zeljko, for I will stop them in their evil tracks!" ---And so Coldplay were dragged off to jail, convicted of crimes against the Eurovision Song Contest. The whole world was shocked at such a thing happening at Serbia's presentation show, they had not expected any more bad things to happen at the Eurovision Song Contest after so many other things had happened, and they were horrified that people would go to such great lengths to attack the Eurovision. The one consolation they had was that Kaliopi, the guardian of the Eurovision Song Contest, was also going to great lengths to protect it from the people who wanted to destroy it. And Kaliopi was happy, after having proved that she could help animals at the Grand National, now showed yet again to the world that she could help people too. ---It was a few days later now, and Zeljko was about to present his Eurovision song to the Serbian public. Zeljko stood on the stage, looking at the audience. "Uh... welcome! Hopefully we won't have any incidents, like last time," Zeljko said. Zeljko looked beside him, and standing there, was Kaliopi Bukle, the guardian of the Eurovision. "No Zeljko," Kaliopi smiled, "There won't be any more incidents, I'll make sure of that!" The audience cheered, they were waving Serbian and Macedonian flags. They had been very impressed that Kaliopi had saved their Eurovision entrant and were very happy that Kaliopi was protecting the Eurovision Song Contest.

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"Thank you Kaliopi," Zeljko smiled. Zeljko performed his Eurovision song, ''Nije ljubav stvar' to the audience, and they all loved it. He then performed the English version 'Synonym', and they all loved that too. He performed some of his other songs for the audience too, such as his 2004 Eurovision song, 'Lane Moje'. Then, after the show was over, he went back to the green room, where Kaliopi was waiting. "So you see, it went without incident, just as I said," Kaliopi said. "Excellent," Zeljko smiled, "Let's just see if you can keep it up until the Eurovision comes around." "Oh, I will," Kaliopi said, "You can count on that!" Zeljko felt that with Aslan and Kaliopi protecting the Eurovision, there would be no need to worry about anything happening in the future. With two powerful guardians, there was no way that any of the Eurovision's enemies could stop the song contest from happening. The End. ----

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