871

Essential
Knowledge
for Personal
Coaches
Dean Amory

872
 Title: Essential Knowledge for Personal Coaches
Compiled by: Dean Amory
Dean_Amory@hotmail.com
Publisher: Edgard Adriaens, Belgium
eddyadriaens@yahoo.com
ISBN: 978-1-4716-6926-2
Copyright 2011, Edgard Adriaens, Belgium, - All Rights
Reserved.

This book has been compiled based on the contents of trainings,

information found in other books and using the internet. It
contains a number of articles and coaching models indicated by
TM or or containing a reference to the original author.
Whenever you cite such an article or use a coaching model in a
commercial situation, please credit the source or check with the
IP -owner. If you are aware of a copyright ownership that I have
not identified or credited, please contact me at:
eddyadriaens@yahoo.com

873
The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your
riches, but to reveal to him his own. Benjamin Disrael

Cover picture: Freedom - - zenos frukadis - philadelphia

874
TABLE OF CONTENTS

4/ INTRODUCTION..............................................................877
4/ USEFUL SKILLS ..............................................................878
4.1. PROBLEM SOLVING ...................................................878
4.2 DEALING WITH OBSTACLES AND RESISTANCE901
4.3 FIXING GOALS..............................................................934
4.4 MOTIVATING OTHERS ..............................................949
4.5 SURFING THE FLOW SPIRAL ...................................956
4.6 INCREASING SELF ESTEEM .....................................976
4.7 RESOLVING CONFLICT .............................................995
4.8 DYSFUNCTIONAL PERSONALITY TYPES...........1008
4.9 DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE ...................1013
4.10 LEARNING STYLES .................................................1034
4.11 CHANGE MANAGEMENT .......................................1050
4.12 THE GRIEF CYCLE ...................................................1082
4.13 KNOWING AND NOT KNOWING...........................1089
4.14 RELAPSE PREVENTION ..........................................1156
4.15 BRAINSORTMING.....................................................1159
4.16 DESENTISATION .......................................................1175
4.17 BUILDING ASSERTIVENESS ..................................1176
4.18 ROOT CAUSE ANALYSIS.........................................1178
4.19 THE JOHARI WINDOW............................................1180
4.20 DECISION MAKING ..................................................1183
4.21 TIME MANAGEMENT ..............................................1188
4.22 STRATEGIC PLANNING ..........................................1223
4.23 ACTION PLANNING..................................................1244
4.24 THE POWER OF HABITS .........................................1254
4.25 THE ART OF DELEGATION ...................................1258
4.26 AFFIRMATIONS AND POSITIVE THINKING .....1266
4.27 STAGES OF THE CHANGE CONTINUUM............1275

875
4.28 CONGRUENCE ..........................................................1280
4.29 AUTHENTICITY........................................................1282
4.30 PARADIGMS ..............................................................1286
4.31 BALANCE ...................................................................1290
4.32 EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (E.Q.)...................1297
4.33 THE FIVE FREEDOMS.............................................1305
4.34 GENDER DIFFERENCES .........................................1311
4.35 PITFALLS FOR COACHING ...................................1314
4.36 FEAR ............................................................................1315
4.37 TEAMWORKING AND TEAMROLES ...................1322
4.38 ANGER MANAGEMENT ..........................................1326
4.39 LEADERSHIP STYLES..............................................1358
4.40 SWOT ANALYSIS.......................................................1392
4.41 THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD KNOWN SOONER1416
4.42 HOW TO INFLUENCE PEOPLE ..............................1447
4.43 THE MINTO PYRAMID PRINCIPLE......................1457

5 EXAMPLES OF COACHING DOCUMENTS ..............1460

5.1 EXAMPLE OF GENERAL INFORMATON FORM 1460
5.2 EXAMPLE OF COACHING AGREEMENT............1466
5.3 EXAMPLE OF COACHING COMMITMENTS.......1471
5.4 EXAMPLE OF ASSESSMENT FORM ......................1473

876
INTRODUCTION
This is the third part in a series of three books about
Personal coaching.
Part 1, Personal Coaching is about what Personal Coaching
is and offers a surview of the most popular models for
Personal Coaching (or Life Coaching) and Self Coaching.
Part 2, Techniques for Personal Coaching and Self
Coaching introduces you to the most powerful coaching
techniques in use and describes the most successful
questions and strategies for coaching.
Part 3, Essential Knowledge for Personal Coaches, is a
practical standard reference work highlighting the
knowledge and skills that are indispensable for anybody
who is considering life coaching as a career or as a serious
self coaching process,
Dean Amory's Complete Life Coaching and Personal
Coaching Course is your best guide for coaching your
coachees and yourself towards maximizing your life
potential and achieving a happier and more fulfilled life.
Personal Coaching is an invaluable training manual for
anybody who takes life coaching seriously.

877
4/ Useful Skills
4.1 PROBLEM SOLVING
The ability to respond effectively to problems is associated with
improved treatment outcome.

Supporting development of problem solving skills can be

clinically useful and is best achieved through:
- a combination of verbal and written information
- demonstration (when possible)
- learning through practice and feedback

Developing problem solving skills can consist of identifying

occasions when the coachee has solved other problems and
noting the steps they took.

Effective problem solving can be learned.

It consists of five steps:

1. Orientation
Stand back from the problem; view it as a challenge, not a
catastrophe. How might someone else solve this?

2. Define the problem

it is important to be specific
Coachee: My wife and I do not get on
Clinician: Give me an example of what you mean
Coachee: She doesnt like me being out on Friday nights

3. Brainstorm solutions
At this stage, anything goes. Identify as many solutions as
possible discourage evaluation and a search for quality.

878
4. Decision making
The coachee (with your help, but not direction) reviews the
positives and negatives of each of the options, and their ability to
implement them, and makes an informed choice of the best
option(s) to embrace.

5. Implementation
A plan of action is developed and the option is implemented.
Sometimes it is useful to rehearse the option (where possible) to
test out the viability of the strategy and to increase self-efficacy
(confidence).

It is not the coachs responsibility to solve the coachees

problems, but to teach a skill that he or she can use in a variety of
circumstances.

IDEAL METHODE OF PROBLEM SOLVING

Whatever issue you are faced with, some steps are fundamental:

Identify the problem

Define the problem
Examine the options
Act on a plan
Look at the consequences

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There are several stages to solving a problem:
1) Evaluating the problem
Clarifying the nature of a problem
Formulating questions
Gathering information systematically
Collating and organising data
Condensing and summarising information
Defining the desired objective

880
2) Managing the problem
Using the information gathered effectively
Breaking down a problem into smaller, more
manageable, parts
Using techniques such as brainstorming and lateral
thinking to consider options
Analysing these options in greater depth
Identifying steps that can be taken to achieve the
objective

3) Decision-making
deciding between the possible options for what
action to take
deciding on further information to be gathered before
taking action
deciding on resources (time, funding, staff etc) to be
allocated to this problem

4) Resolving the problem

Implementing action
Providing information to other stakeholders;
delegating tasks
Reviewing progress

5) Examining the results

Monitoring the outcome of the action taken
Reviewing the problem and problem-solving
process to avoid similar situations in future

At any stage of this process, it may be necessary to return to

an earlier stage for example, if further problems arise or if a
solution does not appear to be working as desired.

881
Source: university of Kent

882
B. Robert Holland set out a typical problem solving process in his
manual Sequential analysis with the following steps:

Step 1 Analytical Scientific

problem solving problem solving
What is the Visualise the Define the
problem? What difference between discrepancy
question do you the results you get between the results
want your analysis and the results you you get and what
to answer? want. you expect.
Where does the Visualise the State the traditional
problem lie? How structure elements assumptions of the
can be picture the of the present theory that give
current situation? situation causing rise to the
the result. discrepancy.
Why does the Analyse each Create hypothesis
problem exist? How element whether it that give
can we isolate the is the cause. alternative
problem? structures to
eliminate the
discrepancy.
What can we do Formulate the Devise experiments
about it? What logical alternative that will exclude
options do we changes. false hypothesis.
have?
What should we do Create a new Reformulate the
about it? What structure theory on the basis
recommendation incorporating the of the experimental
can we give? changes. results.

883
Questions and observerations for Problem Solving and
Decision Making
1. Definition of the problem
1. What can you see that causes you to think there's a problem?
2. Where is it happening?
3. How is it happening?
4. When is it happening?
5. With whom is it happening? (HINT: Don't jump to "Who is
causing the problem?" When we're stressed, blaming is often
one of our first reactions. To be an effective manager, you
need to address issues more than people.)
6. Why is it happening?
7. Write down a five-sentence description of the problem in
terms of "The following should be happening, but isn't ..." or
"The following is happening and should be: ..." As much as
possible, be specific in your description, including what is
happening, where, how, with whom and why. (It may be
helpful at this point to use a variety of research methods.
Defining complex problems:
If the problem still seems overwhelming, break it down by
repeating steps 1-7 until you have descriptions of several related
problems.
Verifying your understanding of the problems:
It helps a great deal to verify your problem analysis for
conferring with a peer or someone else.
Prioritize the problems:
If you discover that you are looking at several related problems,
then prioritize which ones you should address first.

884
Note the difference between "important" and "urgent" problems.
Often, what we consider to be important problems to consider
are really just urgent problems. Important problems deserve
more attention. For example, if you're continually answering
"urgent" phone calls, then you've probably got a more
"important" problem and that's to design a system that screens
and prioritizes your phone calls.
Understand your role in the problem:
Your role in the problem can greatly influence how you perceive
the role of others. For example, if you're very stressed out, it'll
probably look like others are, too, or, you may resort too quickly
to blaming and reprimanding others. Or, you are feel very guilty
about your role in the problem, you may ignore the
accountabilities of others.
2. Look at potential causes for the problem
It's amazing how much you don't know about what you don't
know. Therefore, in this phase, it's critical to get input from
other people who notice the problem and who are effected by
it.
It's often useful to collect input from other individuals one at a
time (at least at first). Otherwise, people tend to be inhibited
about offering their impressions of the real causes of
problems.
Write down what your opinions and what you've heard from
others.
Regarding what you think might be performance problems
associated with an employee, it's often useful to seek advice
from a peer or your supervisor in order to verify your
impression of the problem.
Write down a description of the cause of the problem and in
terms of what is happening, where, when, how, with whom
and why.

885
3. Identify alternatives for approaches to resolve the
problem
At this point, it's useful to keep others involved (unless you're
facing a personal and/or employee performance problem).
Brainstorm for solutions to the problem. Very simply put,
brainstorming is collecting as many ideas as possible, then
screening them to find the best idea. It's critical when collecting
the ideas to not pass any judgment on the ideas -- just write them
down as you hear them. (A wonderful set of skills used to
identify the underlying cause of issues is Systems Thinking.)
4. Select an approach to resolve the problem
When selecting the best approach, consider:
Which approach is the most likely to solve the problem for the
long term?
Which approach is the most realistic to accomplish for now?
Do you have the resources? Are they affordable? Do you have
enough time to implement the approach?
What is the extent of risk associated with each alternative?
(The nature of this step, in particular, in the problem solving
process is why problem solving and decision making are highly
integrated.)
5. Plan the implementation of the best alternative (this is
your action plan)
1. Carefully consider "What will the situation look like when the
problem is solved?"
2. What steps should be taken to implement the best alternative
to solving the problem? What systems or processes should be
changed in your organization, for example, a new policy or
procedure? Don't resort to solutions where someone is "just
going to try harder".

886
3. How will you know if the steps are being followed or not?
(these are your indicators of the success of your plan)
4. What resources will you need in terms of people, money and
facilities?
5. How much time will you need to implement the solution?
Write a schedule that includes the start and stop times, and
when you expect to see certain indicators of success.
6. Who will primarily be responsible for ensuring
implementation of the plan?
7. Write down the answers to the above questions and consider
this as your action plan.
8. Communicate the plan to those who will involved in
implementing it and, at least, to your immediate supervisor.
(An important aspect of this step in the problem-solving process
is continually observation and feedback.)
6. Monitor implementation of the plan
Monitor the indicators of success:
1. Are you seeing what you would expect from the indicators?
2. Will the plan be done according to schedule?
3. If the plan is not being followed as expected, then consider:
Was the plan realistic? Are there sufficient resources to
accomplish the plan on schedule? Should more priority be
placed on various aspects of the plan? Should the plan be
changed?
7. Verify if the problem has been resolved or not
One of the best ways to verify if a problem has been solved or not
is to resume normal operations in the organization. Still, you
should consider:

887
1. What changes should be made to avoid this type of problem in
the future? Consider changes to policies and procedures,
training, etc.
2. Lastly, consider "What did you learn from this problem
solving?" Consider new knowledge, understanding and/or
skills.
3. Consider writing a brief memo that highlights the success of
the problem solving effort, and what you learned as a result.
Share it with your supervisor, peers and subordinates.
Rational Versus Organic Approach to Problem Solving
Rational
A person with this preference often prefers using a
comprehensive and logical approach similar to the guidelines in
the above section. For example, the rational approach, described
below, is often used when addressing large, complex matters in
strategic planning.
1. Define the problem.
2. Examine all potential causes for the problem.
3. Identify all alternatives to resolve the problem.
4. Carefully select an alternative.
5. Develop an orderly implementation plan to implement that
best alternative.
6. Carefully monitor implementation of the plan.
7. Verify if the problem has been resolved or not.
A major advantage of this approach is that it gives a strong sense
of order in an otherwise chaotic situation and provides a
common frame of reference from which people can communicate
in the situation. A major disadvantage of this approach is that it
can take a long time to finish. Some people might argue, too, that
the world is much too chaotic for the rational approach to be
useful.

888
Organic
Some people assert that the dynamics of organizations and
people are not nearly so mechanistic as to be improved by
solving one problem after another. Often, the quality of an
organization or life comes from how one handles being on the
road itself, rather than the arriving at the destination. The
quality comes from the ongoing process of trying, rather than
from having fixed a lot of problems. For many people it is an
approach to organizational consulting. The following quote is
often used when explaining the organic (or holistic) approach to
problem solving.
All the greatest and most important problems in life are
fundamentally insoluble They can never be solved, but only
outgrown. This outgrowing proves on further investigation
to require a new level of consciousness. Some higher or wider
interest appeared on the horizon and through this
broadening of outlook, the insoluble lost its urgency. It was
not solved logically in its own terms, but faded when
confronted with a new and stronger life urge.
From Jung, Carl, Psychological Types (Pantheon Books, 1923)
A major advantage of the organic approach is that it is highly
adaptable to understanding the chaotic changes that occur in
projects and everyday life. It also suits the nature of people who
shun linear and mechanistic approaches to projects. The major
disadvantage is that the approach often provides no clear frame
of reference around which people can communicate, feel
comfortable and measure progress toward solutions to
problems.
Source:
http://managementhelp.org/personalproductivity/problem-
solving.htm

889
Problem Solving:
Definition, terminology, and patterns
by Hidetoshi Shibata Copy rights H. Shibata all reserved,
1997, 1998

Problem Solving Terminology

Systems Thinking

890
Problem Solving is very important but problem solvers often
misunderstand it. This report proposes the definition of
problems, terminology for Problem Solving and useful Problem
Solving patterns.
We should define what is the problem as the first step of
Problem Solving. Yet problem solvers often forget this first
step.
Further, we should recognize common terminology such as
Purpose, Situation, Problem, Cause, Solvable Cause, Issue, and
Solution. Even Consultants, who should be professional
problem solvers, are often confused with the terminology of
Problem Solving. For example, some consultants may think of
issues as problems, or some of them think of problems as
causes. But issues must be the proposal to solve problems and
problems should be negative expressions while issues should
be a positive expression. Some consultants do not mind this
type of minute terminology, but clear terminology is helpful to
increase the efficiency of Problem Solving. Third, there are
several useful thinking patterns such as strategic thinking,
emotional thinking, realistic thinking, empirical thinking and so
on. The thinking pattern means how we think. So far, I
recognized fourteen thinking patterns. If we choose an
appropriate pattern at each step in Problem Solving, we can
improve the efficiency of Problem Solving.
This report will explain the above three points such as the
definition of problems, the terminology of Problem Solving, and
useful thinking patterns.
Definition of problem
A problem is decided by purposes. If someone wants money
and when he or she has little money, he or she has a problem.
But if someone does not want money, little money is not a

900
problem.
For example, manufacturing managers are usually evaluated
with line-operation rate, which is shown as a percentage of
operated hours to potential total operation hours. Therefore
manufacturing managers sometimes operate lines without
orders from their sales division. This operation may produce
more than demand and make excessive inventories. The
excessive inventories may be a problem for general managers.
But for the manufacturing managers, the excessive inventories
may not be a problem.
If a purpose is different between managers, they see the
identical situation in different ways. One may see a problem but
the others may not see the problem. Therefore, in order to
identify a problem, problem solvers such as consultants must
clarify the differences of purposes. But oftentimes, problem
solvers frequently forget to clarify the differences of purposes
and incur confusion among their problem solving projects.
Therefore problem solvers should start their problem solving
projects from the definition of purposes and problems
Terminology of Problem Solving
We should know the basic terminology for Problem Solving.
This report proposes seven terms such as Purpose, Situation,
Problem, Cause, Solvable Cause, Issue, and Solution.
Purpose
Purpose is what we want to do or what we want to be. Purpose
is an easy term to understand. But problem solvers frequently
forget to confirm Purpose, at the first step of Problem Solving.
Without clear purposes, we can not think about problems.
Situation
Situation is just what a circumstance is. Situation is neither

901
good nor bad. We should recognize situations objectively as
much as we can. Usually almost all situations are not problems.
But some problem solvers think of all situations as problems.
Before we recognize a problem, we should capture situations
clearly without recognizing them as problems or non-problems.
Without recognizing situations objectively, Problem Solving is
likely to be narrow sighted, because problem solvers recognize
problems with their prejudice.
Problem
Problem is some portions of a situation, which cannot realize
purposes. Since problem solvers often neglect the differences of
purposes, they cannot capture the true problems. If the purpose
is different, the identical situation may be a problem or may not
be a problem.
Cause
Cause is what brings about a problem. Some problem solvers
do not distinguish causes from problems. But since problems
are some portions of a situation, problems are more general
than causes are. In other words causes are more specific facts,
which bring about problems. Without distinguishing causes
from problems, Problem Solving can not be specific. Finding
specific facts which causes problems is the essential step in
Problem Solving.
Solvable Cause
Solvable cause is some portions of causes. When we solve a
problem, we should focus on solvable causes. Finding solvable
causes is another essential step in Problem Solving. But
problem solvers frequently do not extract solvable causes
among causes. If we try to solve unsolvable causes, we waste
time. Extracting solvable causes is a useful step to make

902
Problem Solving efficient.
Issue
Issue is the opposite expression of a problem. If a problem is
that we do not have money, the issue is that we get money.
Some problem splvers do not know what Issue is. They may
think of "we do not have money" as an issue. At the worst case,
they may mix the problems, which should be negative
expressions, and the issues, which should be positive
expressions.
Solution
Solution is a specific action to solve a problem, which is equal to
a specific action to realize an issue. Some problem solvers do
not break down issues into more specific actions. Issues are not
solutions. Problem solvers must break down issues into specific
action.
Thinking patterns
This report lists fourteen thinking patters. Problem solvers
should choose appropriate patterns, responding to situations.
This report categorized these fourteen patterns into three more
general groups such as thinking patterns for judgements,
thinking patterns for thinking processes and thinking patterns
for efficient thinking. The following is the outlines of those
thinking patterns.
Thinking patterns for judgements
In order to create a value through thinking we need to judge
whether what we think is right or wrong. This report lists four
judging patterns such as strategic thinking, emotional thinking,
realistic thinking, and empirical thinking.

903
Strategic thinking
Focus, or bias, is the criterion for strategic thinking. If you judge
whether a situation is right or wrong based on whether the
situation is focused or not, your judgement is strategic. A
strategy is not necessarily strategic. Historically, many
strategists such as Sonfucis in ancient China, Naplon, M. Porter
proposed strategic thinking when they develop strategies.
Emotional thinking
In organizations, an emotional aspect is essential. Tactical
leaders judge whether a situation is right or wrong based on
the participantsf emotional commitment. They think that if
participants can be positive to a situation, the situation is right.
Realistic thinking
Start from what we can do
Fix the essential problem first
These two criteria are very useful. "Starting" is very important,
even if we do very little. We do not have to start from the
essential part. Even if we start from an easier part, starting is a
better judgement than a judgement of not-starting in terms of
the first part of realistic thinking. Further, after we start, we
should search key factors to make the Problem Solving more
efficient. Usually, 80 % of the problems are caused by only 20
% of the causes. If we can find the essential 20 % of the causes,
we can fix 80 % of problems very efficiently. Then if we try to
find the essential problem, what we are doing is right in terms
of the second part of realistic thinking.
Empirical thinking
When we use empirical thinking, we judge whether the
situation is right or wrong based on our past experiences.
Sometimes, this thinking pattern persists on the past criteria

904
too much, even if a situation has changed. But when it comes to
our daily lives, situations do not change frequently. Further, if
we have the experience of the identical situation before, we can
utilize the experience as a reliable knowledge data base.
Thinking patterns for thinking processes
If we can think systematically, we do not have to be frustrated
when we think. In contrast, if we have no systematic method,
Problem Solving frustrate us. This reports lists five systematic
thinking processes such as rational thinking, systems thinking,
cause & effect thinking, contingent thinking, and the Toyotafs
five times WHYs method .
Rational thinking
Rational thinking is one of the most common Problem Solving
methods. This report will briefly show this Problem Solving
method.
1. Set the ideal situation
2. Identify a current situation
3. Compare the ideal situation and the current situation, and
identify the problem situation
4. Break down the problem to its causes
5. Conceive the solution alternatives to the causes
6. Evaluate and choose the reasonable solution alternatives
7. Implement the solutions
We can use rational thinking as a Problem Solving method for
almost all problems.
Systems thinking
Systems thinking is a more scientific Problem Solving approach
than the rational thinking approach. We set the system, which
causes problems and analyze them based on systemsf

905
 functions. The following arre the system and how the system
works.
System
Purpose
Input
Output
Function
Inside cause (Solvable cause)
Outside cause (Unsolvable cause)
Result
In order to realize Purpose, we prepare Input and through
Function we can get Output. But Output does not necessarily
realize Purpose. Result of the Function may be different from
Purpose. This difference is created by Outside Cause and Inside
Cause. We can not solve Outside Cause but we can solve Inside
Cause. For example, when we want to play golf, Purpose is to
play golf. If we can not play golf, this situation is Output. If we
can not play golf because of a bad weather, the bad weather is
Outside Cause, because we can not change the weather. In
contrast, if we cannot play golf because we left golf bags in our
home, this cause is solvable. Then, that we left bags in our home
is an Inside Cause.
Systems thinking is a very clear and useful method to solve
problems.
Cause & effect thinking
Traditionally, we like to clarify cause and effect relations. We
usually think of finding causes as solving problems. Finding a
cause and effect relation is a conventional basic Problem
Solving method.

906
Contingent thinking
Game Theory is a typical contingent thinking method. If we
think about as many situations as possible, which may happen,
and prepare solutions for each situation, this process is a
contingent thinking approach.
Toyota fs five times WHYs
At Toyota, employees are taught to think WHY consecutively
five times. This is an adaptation of cause and effect thinking. If
employees think WHY and find a cause, they try to ask
themselves WHY again. They continue five times. Through
these five WHYS, they can break down causes into a very
specific level. This five times WHYs approach is very useful to
solve problems.
Thinking patterns for efficient thinking
In order to think efficiently, there are several useful thinking
patterns. This report lists five patterns for efficient thinking
such as hypothesis thinking, conception thinking, structure
thinking, convergence & divergence thinking, and time order
thinking.
Hypothesis thinking
If we can collect all information quickly and easily, you can
solve problems very efficiently. But actually, we can not collect
every information. If we try to collect all information, we need
so long time. Hypothesis thinking does not require collecting all
information. We develop a hypothesis based on available
information. After we developed a hypothesis, we collect
minimum information to prove the hypothesis. If the first
hypothesis is right, you do not have to collect any more
information. If the first hypothesis is wrong, we will develop

907
the next hypothesis based on available information. Hypothesis
thinking is a very efficient problem-solving method, because we
do not have to waste time to collect unnecessary information.
Conception thinking
Problem Solving is not necessarily logical or rational. Creativity
and flexibility are other important aspects for Problem Solving.
We can not recognize these aspects clearly. This report shows
only what kinds of tips are useful for creative and flexible
conception. Following are portions of tips.
To be visual.
To write down what we think.
Use cards to draw, write and arrange ideas in many ways.
Change positions, forms, and viewpoints, physically and
mentally.
We can imagine without words and logic, but in order to
communicate to others, we must explain by words and logic.
Therefore after we create ideas, we must explain them literally.
Creative conception must be translated into reasonable
explanations. Without explanations, conception does not make
sense.
Structure thinking
If we make a structure like a tree to grasp a complex situation,
we can understand very clearly.
Upper level should be more abstract and lower level should be
more concrete. Dividing abstract situations from concrete
situations is helpful to clarify the complex situations. Very
frequently, problem solvers cannot arrange a situation clearly.
A clear recognition of a complex situation increases efficiency

908
of Problem Solving.

Convergence & divergence thinking

When we should be creative we do not have to consider
convergence of ideas. In contrast, when we should summarize
ideas we must focus on convergence. If we do convergence and
divergence simultaneously, Problem Solving becomes
inefficient.
Time order thinking
Thinking based on a time order is very convenient, when we
are confused with Problem Solving. We can think based on a
time order from the past to the future and make a complex
situation clear.

Source: Hidetoshi Shibata Copy rights H. Shibata all reserved,

1997, 1998 - http://www.mediafrontier.com/Article/PS/PS.htm

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4.2 DEALING WITH OBSTACLES AND
RESISTANCE
4.2.1HOWTOREMOVEOBSTACLESTOPERSONALGROWTH

Do you know how to calculate the amount of fear holding you

back in life? Take a pen and a piece of paper. On top of the page,
write down your current age, for instance "34 years old." At the
bottom, indicate how old you intend to grow before you die.
"Death at 80" is a reasonable target.

Now comes the mathematical part of the exercise. Draw a

straight line connecting your current age with your death. That
line represents the number of days that you have left on earth. In
our example, the difference between 80 and 34 leaves you with
46 years, that is, almost 17.000 days. The last part of the game
consists of deciding how you are going to use those 17.000 days.

Now, draw a vertical line on your page, which divides your

future in two areas. On the left side of the line, you can write
down safe and commonplace goals. On the right side, difficult
and disruptive ambitions. The rules of the exercise allow you to
list as many activities as you wish, provided that you don't run
out of time to live.

Boring projects are easy to name and quantify. They include,

amongst others, looking for better jobs, cleaning the house and
going on holidays. Dont forget mundane tasks such as working
five days a week, watching television, walking the dog, washing
your car once per month and shopping for new clothes. When
your remaining term of 46 years is up, you are dead.

910
You only need to worry about the opposite side of the line if you
have unused time, which is unlikely. The truth is that most
people will allocate their complete lifespan to left-side tasks.

What about the right side of the line? Does anyone actually write
down adventurous, risky goals? Are there people foolish enough
to risk total failure in order to pursue their dreams? Is it not
better to stick to attainable objectives? This is the type of
activities that usually come up under the label "difficult and
disruptive:"

1. Live in Paris for a year (500 days, including preparation and

removals)
2. Start up and grow a global business (3000 days)
3. Write twenty great books (3000 days)
4. Save and invest until you are able to live from dividends (6000
days)
5. Learn to cook according to good nutrition principles (300
days)
6. Lose weight and acquire habits that allow you to stay in good
shape (500 days)

One could argue that this game is useless, since it has no winner
and no loser. Since the same individual appears on both sides of
the line, what is the point? What is the purpose of the exercise?
The answer is that, paradoxically, the subjects on each side of the
line are different persons.

One of them is boring, the other fearless. One of them is aimless,

the other determined. One of them is predictable, the other
exciting. The lesson is that, one day, the 46 years will be
consumed all the same. At the end, results will be trivial or
spectacular, meaningless or irreplaceable.

911
If you don't like the outcome of your calculations, take a blank
piece of paper, draw a new vertical line, and start the exercise
again. After a few times, you will get quite good at it. At one
point, you will begin to fear boring activities more than risky
ones. If you are already there, congratulations, now you know
how to win the game.

The Art of Obstacle Removal

One of the best ways to go faster is to remove the things that
slow you down. This "obstacle removal" is an integral part of
many agile methods including Scrum and Lean. Sometimes it is
obvious where an obstacle is. There are a few small things that
can be done easily to go faster. But to get going really fast, we
need to have a deeper understanding of obstacles... and the Art of
Obstacle Removal.

What are Obstacles?

An obstacle is any behavior, physical arrangement, procedure or
checkpoint that makes getting work done slower without adding
any actual contribution to the work. Activities that do add value
to our work may be slowed down by obstacles, but are not
obstacles in and of themselves.

Obstacles and Waste

Obstacles are the causes of waste in a process. There are many
types of waste, and for every type of waste there are many
possible sources (obstacles).

Types of Obstacles

Personal
Personal obstacles are related to us as individuals. There are
several levels at which these obstacles can show up.
Outside factors in our lives such as illness or family obligations
can become obstacles to our work at hand. These obstacles are

912
hard to remove or avoid. Even if we would want to avoid an
obstacle such as illness, it is hard to do anything about it in an
immediate sense. However, as part of our commitment to the
group we are working with, we should consider doing things to
generally improve our health. Good sleep, healthy and moderate
eating, exercise and avoidance of illness-causing things and
circumstances are all possible commitments we can make to the
group. Likewise, we can make sure our personal affairs are in
order so that unexpected events have the least impact possible.
This topic is vast and there are many good sources of
information.

Physical Environment
Obstacles in the physical environment can consist of barriers to
movement or communication, or a lack of adequate physical
resources. Sometimes these obstacles are easy to see because
their effects are immediate. For example, if a team room lacks a
whiteboard for diagrams, keeping notes, etc., then the team may
not be able to communicate as effectively.

Other physical obstacles are not so obvious. The effects of

physical environment can be subtle and not well-understood.
Poor ergonomics take weeks, months or years for their effects to
be felt... but it is inevitable. A too-small team room can lead to a
feeling of being cooped up and desperation to get out... and
eventually to resentment. Again this can take weeks or months.

Knowledge
A lack of knowledge or the inability to access information are
obstacles. A team composed of junior people who don't have
diverse experience and who don't have a good knowledge of the
work they are doing will have trouble working effectively. There
may be barriers preventing the team from learning. Common
barriers include over-work leading to a lack of time or mental
energy for learning. With junior people in particular, there is a

913
lot of pressure to be productive and that can often be at the
expense of a solid foundation of learning.

Other times, knowledge-related barriers can be more immediate.

If a critical piece of information is delayed or lost this can have a
large impact on an Agile team that is working in short cycles. The
team may be temporarily halted while they wait for information.
Building effective information flow is critical to a team's
performance.

Organizational
Bureaucratic procedures, organizational mis-alignment,
conflicting goals, and inefficient organizational structures can all
be significant obstacles.

One of the best sources of information about this is the two

books by Jim Collins: "Good to Great" (Review) and "Built to
Last"

Cultural
Sometimes the beliefs we have about how to work can become
obstacles to working more effectively. These beliefs are often in
place because they have been part of what we think makes us
successful. Cultural assumptions can come from our families, our
communities, our religious affiliation and our national identity.

In organizational culture, one thing I constantly see is a public

espoused value of teamwork, but a conflicting behavior of
individual performance reviews and ranking. This is cultural. It is
also a barrier to the effective functioning of an Agile team. For
corporate environments I highly recommend the Corporate
Culture Survival Guide by Edgar Schein.

914
Dis-Unity
Dis-unity is one of the most subtle and common forms of
obstacle. Competition, legal and cultural assumption of the
goodness of "opposition" and habits of interaction including
gossip and backbiting all combine to make united action and
thought very difficult.

This is an extremely deep topic. There are many tools and

techniques available to assist with team building. If you are
interested in this topic, I highly recommend reading "The
Prosperity of Humankind".

Eliminate Waste
Waste is the result of activities or environmental conditions that
prevent a team from reaching its goal. The opposite of waste is
something that adds value (more, faster or higher quality) to the
desired result.

The whole notion of eliminating waste comes from lean

manufacturing. More recently, Mary and Tom Poppendieck
applied this idea to software in their book "Lean Software
Development: An Agile Toolkit for Software Development
Managers". In this (excellent) book, the authors list the wastes of
manufacturing and the wastes of software.

As wastes are eliminated or reduced, a team will function faster

and with higher quality. However, not all waste can be
eliminated. Sometimes waste is legislated, sometimes waste is an
unavoidable by-product of work, sometimes mistakes are made,
and sometimes it takes a great deal of effort to eliminate a waste.

915
Here I have summarized and generalized these types of wastes
so that they apply in any situation:

The Seven Wastes

1. waiting - caused by delays, unreadiness, or simple
procrastination
2. partially done work or inventory - caused by sub-optimal
workflow
3. extra processing or processes - caused by poor organization
or bureaucracy
4. defects and rework - caused by insufficient skill, tools,
inspection or filtering
5. movement of people or work - caused by physical separation
6. overproduction or extra features - caused by working
towards speculative goals
7. task switching - caused by multiple commitments

In order to eliminate waste, first waste has to be detected and

identified, then the underlying causes of the waste have to be
identified, and finally changes to the work environment need to
be made to both eliminate the cause of the waste and the waste
itself. Many agile work practices help with this process.

Value stream mapping is one particular tool that can be used by

a team or organization to identify wasteful activities. The team
describes the amount of time that work takes to go through each
activity in their overall work process. Next, the team determines
if each activity adds value or does not add value to the end goal.
All activities are subject to speed improvements, and activities
that do not add value are subject to elimination.

In order to determine the causes of waste, special attention

should be paid to incentives and motivations. Wasteful behavior
often exists because there is some incentive for people to do it.

916
Sometimes these incentives are explicit, but sometimes they are
the side-effects of other things going on in the team's
environment. Changing the incentives can be an effective way of
reducing waste.
By eliminating waste, the team will find it has reduced
frustrations, and enabled greater productivity and creativity. The
team will also increase its speed and delivery of value, and at the
same time reduce defects.

Removing Obstacles

The ability to identify obstacles and understand why they are

causing problems is only the first step in removing obstacles. In
Agile Work, the person primarily responsible for identifying and
removing obstacles is the Process Facilitator. The Process
Facilitator has several approaches available for the removal of
obstacles. A process facilitator has similar responsibilities to a
change agent.

Direct
Deal with the obstacle directly without involving other people.
This can be as simple as getting up and moving an obstacle
impairing vision, or as nuanced as running interviews and
workshops throughout an organization to gradually change a
cultural obstacle.

Command and Control

Identify the obstacle and give precise instructions for its removal
to a person who will directly perform the removal. This can
sometimes work if removing an obstacle takes a great deal of
time, effort or specialized skills that you yourself do not possess.
However, the overall approach of "command and control" is not
recommended for Agile environments since it is disempowering.

917
Influence
Identify the obstacle and suggest means to deal with it to a
person who has the authority or influence to get others to deal
with it. This indirect method of obstacle removal can be slow and
frustrating. However it usually has better long-term effects than
command and control.

Support
Offer to assist and encourage the removal of obstacles that have
been identified by other people. In many respects this is a very
effective method. It can assist with team-building and learning
by example. People are usually grateful for assistance.

Coaching
Train others on the art of obstacle removal including obstacle
identification, types of obstacles and strategies for dealing with
obstacles. Observe people's attempts to remove obstacles and
give them feedback on their actions.

Creating a Culture of Obstacle Removal

Encourage and measure obstacle removal at all organizational
levels until it becomes habitual. In many ways this is the essence
of the lean organization.

918
Strategies for Dealing with Obstacles

Diagrams are a great way of communicating the essense of a

concept. Feel free to share the following diagrams with anyone
(but of course keep the copyright notice on them).

Remove
Remove the obstacle altogether. This method of dealing with an
obstacle is usually the most immediately effective, but is also one
of the most difficult methods.

919
The best way to actually remove an obstacle is to get at the root
cause of the obstacle and change that. This type of change results
in the longest-lasting and most stable elimination of an obstacle.

Move Aside
Take the obstacle and put it in a place or situation where it is no
longer in the path of the team.

In a team's physical environment, this may be as simple as

changing the tools that the team is using. For example, if the
team is all in a room together, move computer monitors that are
blocking team member's views of each other. If there is a useless
checkpoint that work results have to go through, get
management to eliminate it.

Shield
Build a shield or barrier to hide the obstacle so that it's effects no
longer touch your team.

920
If a team is distracted by noisy neighbors, put up a sound barrier.
If a team is unable to see their computers due to late afternoon
sunlight, put up window shades. If a manager is bothering the
team with meetings or tasks unrelated to the work of the team,
then put yourself between the team and the manager (or get
someone in upper management to do that).

Shielding is excellent for immediate relief, but remember that

the obstacle is still there and may become a problem again if the
shield cannot be maintained.

Transform
Change the structure or form of the obstacle so that it no longer
affects effectiveness.

921
In general, this method requires a great deal of creativity and
open-mindedness. This is one that works particularly well on
people who are obstacles: convert them into friends of the team!

For example if the team needs approval of an expert who is not

part of the team, this can cause extra work preparing
documentation for this person and long delays while the expert
revies the documents. If the expert becomes part of the team,
then they are well-informed of the work being done and can give
approval with very little overhead.

If done well, this can be a very long-lasting method of dealing

with an obstacle. Make sure that the transformation is true and
that it takes hold... and beware that the obstacle doesn't revert
back to its old nature.

Counteract
Find an activity that negates the effects of the obstacle by
boosting effectiveness in another area.

As a coach or Process Facilitator, this is what we spend our time

in early in a team's adoption of Agile Work: we get them to work
in the same room, use iterations and adaptive planning, we focus
them on delivering work valued by the stakeholders as defined

922
by the Product Owner. All these things are enhancing the team's
ability to get work done without actually directly dealing with
any obstacles.

Watch out for barriers avoided this way to come back and bite
you later on.

Removing Obstacles and Learning

Organizational learning, as well as adult learning have a strong

relationship to obstacle removal. Organizational learning can be
either single-loop or double-loop learning. Adult learning can be
either normal or transformative. We can approach obstacle
removal from a surface level where we only deal with the
immediate symptom, or we can work at a deeper level where we
deal with the symptom and its chain of preceding causes. One
effective method for examining the deeper causes is the 5-why's
exercise

Obstacles Inherent in Agile

Agile methods do not perfectly eliminate all obstacles. Some

obstacles that are inherent in agile methods include overhead
due to planning meetings at the start of iterations, the use of a
dedicated process facilitator. As well, the use of iterations can
become a barrier to certain types of work items: repeating items,
investment in infrastructure, one-off tasks that are not directly
related to the work at hand.

At some point, our teams will have matured to the point where
agile methods are no longer necessary and we can pick and
choose what parts of agile we use.

923
4.2.2 DEALING WITH RESISTANCE
There's old wisdom that advises that we can only lean against
that which resists.
This suggests that there might just be something good, or at least
useful, about resistance. Discovering what this is and learning to
work with it is key to understanding reluctance to change.
After all, change often occurs as a direct result of resistance.
Great men, such as Nelson Mandela, are testimony to this.
Resistance can be viewed as alternative, negative, or wrong. But
we need to balance this with a healthy view of resistance which
points to positive processes rather than placid acceptance.
Benjamin Franklin valued this, telling us that questioning
authority is the "first responsibility of every citizen".
It helps to understand that resistance is a normal response and
that trying to avoid any resistance is futile. Accepting this
immediately allows a different response to resistance in which
we anticipate it and work with it.

Why people resist change:

Dont see a need to change
Needs are being met
Invested in what they have now
Dont know how to change
Poor communication regarding change
Change comes from an external source and they havent
embraced it
Fears: losing control, failure
Dont know why they should do it
No negative consequences
New situation worse than existing one

924
 There are in fact many
reasons people resist
change, most of these
reasons however have a
common source. Fear.
Most of us hold a deep
fear of change and our
ability to adapt. Many of
the reasons for people's
reluctance or refusal to
change are related to the
fear of change.
These fears can also be
related to loss associated
with the change. All
change involves loss at
some level and this can be
difficult to contemplate.
Loss associated with change can be very practical such as loss of
work, colleagues, or office environment. Or it can be less obvious,
relating to concerns about loss of status, self esteem, or ability to
perform new work.
Fear of change can leave us feeling lost, confused, and torn
between the need to take action and doing nothing.
How to recognise resistance
There are a number of behaviours that are signs and symptoms
of an adverse reaction to change. These include:
Aggression and anger
Unusual flare-ups of emotion
overt resistance

925
 Coachees portraying themselves as innocent victims of
unreasonable expectations
Insensitive and disagreeable behaviour
Not meeting key performance areas (missing meetings , failing
assignments, not responding to emails, for example)
Late arrival
Not responding, not listening, seems disinterested
Active attempts to disrupt or undermine the project
Of course, each of these do not necessarily mean that people are
opposing change. They might be indicators, but could just as
easily be indicators of other issues in the person's life.
Real resistance usually occurs after people's uncertainties and
questions regarding change have not been adequately answered.
How to deal with it
The best laid plans and systems fail if the people side of change
management is ignored.
Resistance to change is a normal response, so plan for it, expect
it and accept it. Resistance does not mean that the change is bad,
or that the management of change has failed. Nor does it mean
that those resisting change are 'bad seeds' that need to be
weeded out!
Rather anticipate resistance and direct your energy to facilitating
what Kurt Lewin would refer to as the Unfreezing and
Change/Transition stages.
Kurt Lewin's Force Field Analysis is a powerful strategic tool to
help you analyse aspects of the change that may lead to
resistance.
Assessing resistance to change is an important part of a change
impact assessment that should be conducted very early in the
process.

926
Even if you're introducing small changes don't assume that that
these will be easier for people to accept - especially if they
already feel threatened or have low trust in the process.
If you're aware of any indicators of resistance to change then
you'll need to take some time out to listen to people's concerns.
Yup, listen. Don't talk, just listen (or get someone else they trust
to listen).
The clue to overcoming resistance is understanding that you
cannot avoid resistance, but you can manage it.
Remember that people experience change in personal ways.
Addressing people's values when you encounter resistance to
change can reduce any negative impact of resistance.
Changing your attitude towards resistance is what's needed to
ensure successful change. Anticipating resistance to change is
part of a successful change management strategy and will help to
keep people motivated and positive about change.
Here are some great tips:
1. Let your client speak his peace and/or vent if necessary. Give
him space to express himself. If you react emotionally and try to
stop him, argue, or immediately explain why he is off base, you
will just fuel the fire. Sometimes letting off steam is the first step
to opening to a healing path and moving in a more positive
direction.
2. Reflect back to the client what you heard her say, so she knows
that she has been listened to. Wow, you are really angry at your
boss, and you dont see any other option but to retaliate. Or
Your daughter wont move out and support herself, and you are
completely frustrated. Or Im hearing that you are disappointed
that you havent made more progress in coaching thus far.
When your client feels heard and acknowledged, he may lighten
up and be willing to see and explore more healthy options.

927
3. Reflect back to the client behaviors that might be a sign of
resistance, of which the client may be unaware. Youve been
[late to your sessions] [cancelled] three times now. Is there
anything going on that you are having a hard time with that may
be uncomfortable to look at? Or Youve had the same situation
going on with your last three jobs. Do you see any connection
between whats going on out there and whats happening inside
of you?
4. Dealing with Yes, but. . . s: Ive made three suggestions for
reframes on your situation that could help you feel freer and
move beyond what is troubling you, and youve answered Yes,
but. . . to each of them. Are you really ready or willing to get
beyond this?
5. Illuminate cost and payoff. What do you think is the payoff for
you continuing to feud with your ex-? What is the cost? What
would be the payoff of harmonizing? What would be the cost?
6. Direct approach: I have been working with you on this for
_______ length of time now, and it sounds to me like you have a
pretty strong investment, for whatever reason, in this situation
continuing. Is there any way you can see yourself shifting on
this? I hope you will. If not, lets not talk about this anymore, and
lets turn our attention to issues youd rather make progress on.
You may even tell the client that you do not see anything more
you can do for her at this point, and if she wants to continue
coaching, you will need to see some movement.
7. Tune into your intuition. The above suggestions may all work
in different situations, yet every coaching situation is unique. If
you sincerely ask inside yourself, you will receive guidance as to
how to deal with a particular form or moment of resistance.
Sometimes you may need to be gentle and soft, and other
situations may require a firmer stand or compassionate
confrontation. Set your intention that your sessions will be

928
resistance free, and if any instances of resistance come up, you
will know how to deal with them and move on.
8. Check in with yourself as to what beliefs, feelings, attitudes, or
expectations within yourself that your client may be reflecting.
Are you worried about having a resistant client? Do you question
your ability as a coach? Do you have judgments about something
that the client is reflecting? Why have you attracted this person
or this moment with this person into your experience? The
clearer you get about your intentions, your purpose, and your
confidence, the clearer your clients will get about the situations
and energies they bring to your practice.
9. Sometimes resistant clients can become your biggest success
stories. At the first retreat I presented, a woman bucked me and
the program at every turn. On the last day of the program
something clicked for her and she came to me with a big smile
and proclaimed I finally got it! Her healing and transformation
were as powerful as her resistance had been. She ultimately
came to many more programs and was a star student.
Excuses the coach will hear for tasks not being accomplished
Trying: I implemented a numeracy strategy and it didnt work,
but I did what the consultant said to do.
Blame: Manny said hed have the data reports ready last Friday
but he didnt get them to me until yesterday.
Doubt: Group projects never work in math classes. Students
need to be held individually accountable.
Reacting: You expect me to find time to add something else?
Delay: Its a good idea, and Ill get to it as soon as I finish the
work on next months science fair.

929
INQUIRY A Best Practice
Ask Questions that Promote Discovery for the Other Person
Ask Questions that Focus on the Person Being Coached
Powerful Questions
Invite clarity, action, and discovery at a new level
Create greater possibility for expanded learning and fresh
perspective
Powerful Requests
Powerful requests are ways to cause change; to stir thought
forward and cause action.
I request that you . . .
I have a bold request for you.
The Power of Story Listening
Stories make sense of experience in ways that integrate emotion
and meaning facilitating movement, direction, and purpose.
Stories evoke power.
FEED FORWARD instead of feedback.
Is there a problem with feedback?
Feedback focuses on a past, what has already occurred not on
opportunities in the future. Not fun.
Feedforwardlooks at future actions, is fun as well as not
negative.
Some Powerful Coaching Questions
(adapted from Co-Active Coaching by Whitworth, Kimsey-House
& Sandahl)
What do you think will happen?
Whats you back-up plan?
How does it look to you?

930
 How do you feel about it?
What do you mean?
Can you say more?
What do you want?
How will you know that you have reached it?
What will it look like?
How does this fit with your plans/values?
What do you think that means?
May we explore that some more?
What are your other options?
Would you like to brainstorm this idea?
Will you give an example?
What would it look like?
Will you tell me more about it?
Is there more?
How can you make it be fun?
If you could do it over again, what would you do differently?
If it were you, what would you have done?
What have you tried so far?
How is this working?
What is the action plan?
What support do you need to accomplish ?
What will you take away from this?
What are the possibilities?
Whats moving you forward?
Whats stopping you?
What resources do you need to help you decide?
What action will you take? And after that?
Where do you go from here? When will you do that?
What are your next steps? By when?

931
Powerful Coaching Inquiries

(adapted from Co-Active Coaching by Whitworth, Kimsey-House

& Sandahl)
An inquiry is a type of powerful question that is not meant to be
answered immediately, but instead, offers the coachee an
opportunity for reflection, discovery and learning.
What do I want?
What am I tolerating?
Where am I not being realistic/practical?
What is the difference between a wish and a goal?
Where is my attention?
If my whole attention is focused on producing the result,
what will I have to give up?
What is working for me?
What will it take to keep me on track?
What am I willing/unwilling to change?
What am I settling for?
What is it to be creative/passionate/focused/a leader?
What is it to speak/act from my heart?
What does it mean to be proactive/centered/optimistic?
What is present when I am at my best?
What motivates me?
What am I resisting?
If I were at my best, what would I do right now?
What are my assumptions?
Where do I limit myself?
Where do I hold back?
What are my expectations?
How can I have this be easy?
Who can I get to play with me on this project?
What have I learned about myself?

932
Kurt Lewin - Change Management Model
Kurt Lewin emigrated from Germany to America during the
1930's. Lewin is recognised as the "founder of social psychology"
which immediately points to his interest in the human aspect of
change.
His interest in groups led to research focusing on factors
that influence people to change, and three stages needed to
make change successful.
Unfreeze, Change, Freeze
Kurt Lewin proposed a three stage theory of change commonly
referred to as Unfreeze, Change, Freeze (or Refreeze). It is
possible to take these stages to quite complicated levels but I
don't believe this is necessary to be able to work with the theory.
But be aware that the theory has been criticised for being too
simplistic.
A lot has changed since the theory was originally presented in
1947, but the Kurt Lewin model is still extremely relevant. Many
other more modern change models are actually based on the
Kurt Lewin model. I'm going to head down a middle road and
give you just enough information to make you dangerous...and
perhaps a little more to whet your appetite!
Let's look at each of the three stages:
Stage 1: Unfreezing
The Unfreezing stage is probably one of the more important
stages to understand in the world of change we live in today.
This stage is about getting ready to change. It involves getting to
a point of understanding that change is necessary, and getting
ready to move away from our current comfort zone.
This first stage is about preparing ourselves, or others, before
the change (and ideally creating a situation in which we want the
change).

933
The more we feel that change is necessary, the more urgent it is,
the more motivated we are to make the change. Right? Yes, of
course! If you understand procrastination (like I do!) then you'd
recognise that the closer the deadline, the more likely you are to
snap into action and actually get the job started!
With the deadline comes some sort of reward or punishment
linked to the job. If there's no deadline, then the urge to change is
lower than the need to change. There's much lower motivation to
make a change and get on with it.
Unfreezing and getting motivated for the change is all about
weighing up the 'pro's' and 'con's' and deciding if the 'pro's'
outnumber the 'con's' before you take any action. This is the
basis of what Kurt Lewin called the Force Field Analysis.

Force Field Analysis is a fancy way of saying that there are lots of
different factors (forces) for and against making change that we
need to be aware of (analysis). If the factors for change outweigh
the factors against change we'll make the change. If not, then
there's low motivation to change - and if we feel pushed to
change we're likely to get grumpy and dig in our heels.
This first 'Unfreezing' stage involves moving ourselves, or a
department, or an entire business towards motivation for
change. The Kurt Lewin Force Field Analysis is a useful way to
understand this process and there are plenty of ideas of how this
can be done.
Stage 2: Change - or Transition
Kurt Lewin was aware that change is not an event, but rather a
process. He called that process a transition. Transition is the
inner movement or journey we make in reaction to a change.
This second stage occurs as we make the changes that are
needed.

934
People are 'unfrozen' and moving towards a new way of being.
That said this stage is often the hardest as people are unsure or
even fearful. Imagine bungey jumping or parachuting. You may
have convinced yourself that there is a great benefit for you to
make the jump, but now you find yourself on the edge looking
down. Scary stuff! But when you do it you may learn a lot about
yourself.
This is not an easy time as people are learning about the changes
and need to be given time to understand and work with them.
Support is really important here and can be in the form of
training, coaching, and expecting mistakes as part of the process.
Using role models and allowing people to develop their own
solutions also help to make the changes. It's also really useful to
keep communicating a clear picture of the desired change and
the benefits to people so they don't lose sight of where they are
heading.
Stage 3: Freezing (or Refreezing)
Kurt Lewin refers to this stage as freezing although a lot of
people refer to it as 'refreezing'. As the name suggests this stage
is about establishing stability once the changes have been made.
The changes are accepted and become the new norm. People
form new relationships and become comfortable with their
routines. This can take time.
It's often at this point that people laugh and tell me that
practically there is never time for this 'freezing' stage. And it's
just this that's drawn criticism to the Kurt Lewin model.
In todays world of change the next new change could happen in
weeks or less. There is just no time to settle into comfortable
routines. This rigidity of freezing does not fit with modern
thinking about change being a continuous, sometimes chaotic
process in which great flexibility is demanded.

935
So popular thought has moved away from the concept of
freezing. Instead, we should think about this final stage as being
more flexible, something like a milkshake or soft serv icecream,
in the current favourite flavour, rather than a rigid frozen block.
This way 'Unfreezing' for the next change might be easier.
Given today's pace of change this is a reasonable criticism. But it
might help to get in touch with what Kurt Lewin was actually
saying. In 1947 he wrote:
A change towards a higher level of group performance is
frequently short-lived, after a "shot in the arm", group life soon
returns to the previous level. This indicates that it does not
suffice to define the objective of planned change in group
performance as the reaching of a different level. Permanency of
the new level, or permanency for a desired period, should be
included in the objective. (Kurt Lewin, "Frontiers of Group
Dynamics", Human Relations, Volume 1, pp. 5-41)
Lewin's concern is about reinforcing the change and ensuring
that the desired change is accepted and maintained into the
future. Without this people tend to go back to doing what they
are used to doing. This is probably what Kurt Lewin meant by
freezing - supporting the desired change to make sure it
continues and is not lost.
More modern models of change, such as the ADKAR model, are
more explicit about this step and include Reinforcement as one of
their phases. I've also read this final step of freezing referred to
as the lock-in effect. Establishing stability only happens when the
new changes are locked-in.
Thinking about change as a journey might make you think that a
journey has a beginning , middle, and an end. While this is useful
when thinking about the process of change the reality is that this
journey doesn't have an end. Lots of rest stops maybe! Some
opportunities for settling down for a while. But no end. So be

936
careful about thinking that a change process has a definite end,
as the Lewin change management model might seem to suggest.
In what ways do you think this model might be useful for you?
I've found the Kurt Lewin model useful to frame a process of
change for people that is quite easy to understand. Of course
each stage can be expanded to aid better understanding of the
process. Applying the concepts of Unfreezing, and especially the
Force Field Analysis, at a personal level can give us insight and
help us better understand how we deal with change.

Force Field Analysis - Kurt Lewin

Kurt Lewin's Force Field Analysis is a powerful strategic tool
used to understand what's needed for change in both corporate
and personal environments. Best of all - it's easy to use and has
complete credibility as a professional tool.
We'll use a little basic science to introduce the concept, after
which you'll find enough information to allow you to unleash
your knowledge of force fields on colleagues!
The concept
Let's start with a simple science experiment (this really is
relevant, so stay with me for a moment please).
You'll need to sit down for this one. You're sitting? Good. Now,
what's keeping you in the chair?
Well, there are two answers really. One is gravity which is
pushing you down into the chair. A driving force, if you like.
The other is the chair itself, which provides an opposing force,
pushing up against gravity, and stopping you falling to the
ground.

937
So it would seem that while you are sitting you're in an
equilibrium of sorts.
Two forces keep you there. Gravity pushes down, keeping you in
the chair, and the chair resists this, stopping you from falling to
the ground.
Two equal forces, a driving force and a resisting or restraining
force, working to keep the equilibrium or status quo.
Agreed? Okay, now let's play. Let's say we want to move away
from this equilibrium and get you to fall to the floor. What could
we do?
Well, on the one hand we could increase the amount of gravity.
The chair will give way eventually and you will fall.
On the other hand, we could leave gravity alone and decide to
weaken the chair to get the same result.
If you've followed me this far then you've just completed a force
field analysis and understood the basic concepts of the force field
analysis. It also helps to explain why our science experiment is
relevant.
You see, Kurt Lewin applied exactly this thinking to his theory of
change within social situations - to people.
May the Force be with you, or against you.
Kurt Lewin wrote that "An issue is held in balance by the
interaction of two opposing sets of forces - those seeking to
promote change (driving forces) and those attempting to
maintain the status quo (restraining forces)". This is much the
same as the experiment we just did and is summarised in the
diagram below.

938
So before change the force field is in equilibrium between forces
favourable to change and those resisting it. Lewin spoke about
the existence of a quasi-stationary social equilibrium.
For change to happen the status quo, or equilibrium must be
upset either by adding conditions favourable to the change or
by reducing resisting forces.
What Kurt Lewin proposes is that whenever driving forces are
stronger than restraining forces, the status quo or equilibrium
will change.
Now that's useful. Especially if we apply this to understanding
how people move through change and why they resist change.
There will always be driving forces that make change attractive
to people, and restraining forces that work to keep things as they
are.

939
Successful change is achieved by either strengthening the driving
forces or weakening the restraining forces.
The force field analysis integrates with Lewins three stage
theory of change as you work towards unfreezing the existing
equilibrium, moving towards the desired change, and then
freezing the change at the new level so that a new equilibrum
exists that resists further change.
Using the Force Field Analysis
Lewin's force field analysis is used to distinguish which factors
within a situation or organisation drive a person towards or
away from a desired state, and which oppose the driving forces.
These can be analysed in order to inform decisions that will
make change more acceptable.
'Forces' are more than attitudes to change. Kurt Lewin was
aware that there is a lot of emotion underlying people's attitude
to change.
To understand what makes people resist or accept change we
need to understand the values and experiences of that person or
group.
Developing self awareness and emotional intelligence can help to
understand these forces that work within us and others. Its the
behaviour of others that will alert you to the presence of driving
and restraining forces at work.
The following steps are a guide to using the force field analysis.
You might find it useful to follow the process using the Force
Field Analysis Application Tool available .
1. Define the change you want to see. Write down the goal or
vision of a future desired state. Or you might prefer to
understand the present status quo or equilibrium.

940
2. Brainstorm or Mind Map the Driving Forces - those that are
favourable to change. Record these on a force field diagram.
3. Brainstorm or Mind Map the Restraining Forces - those that
are unfavourable to, or oppose change. Record these on the
force field diagram.
4. Evaluate the Driving and Restraining forces. You can do this
by rating each force, from 1 (weak) to 5 (strong), and total
each side. Or you can leave the numbers out completely and
focus holistically on the impact each has.
5. Review the forces. Decide which of the forces have some
flexibility for change or which can be influenced.
6. Strategise! Create a strategy to strengthen the driving forces
or weaken the restraining forces, or both.
If you've rated each force how can you raise the scores of the
Driving Forces or lower the scores of the Restraining Forces, or
both?
7. Prioritise action steps. What action steps can you take that
will achieve the greatest impact? Identify the resources you
will need and decide how to implement the action steps.
Hint: Sometimes it's easier to reduce the impact of restraining
forces than it is to strengthen driving forces.
Criticism of the force field analysis usually focuses on the
subjectivity of attributing scores to the driving or restraining
forces.
Some writers suggest the model applies within limited settings
and that there are situations outside of these settings in which
Lewins theory may be less applicable.
At the end of the day the force field analysis is a tool that may or
may not be useful in your situation. You can decide this or allow
others to make a decision.

941
The force field analysis is backed by the Lewin change
management model and has, over time, developed credibility as
a professional change management tool
Sources:
http://www.alancohen.com/coachtraining/life-coach-training-
lesson-18/
"Unleashing Potential The Promise of Coaching"
Yvonne Freitas McGookin & Matt Aspin
http://www.change-management-coach.com/resistance-to-
change.html
http://www.change-management-coach.com/kurt_lewin.html

942
4.3 EFFECTIVE GOAL SETTING
A study revealed that amongst people with the same
background, the top three percent outperform the next twenty-
seven percent by a factor of ten. One of very few differences
between these two groups was their attitude to goal setting.

The top three percent have clear, written goals. For the twenty-
seven percent group to join the top group would only take a shift
in some attitudes and a realization that the art of goal setting
would make them more successful to an amazing degree.

In order to be effective, goal setting should be :

- consistent with the coachees stage of change (e.g. a pre-
contemplator may resist a goal of total abstinence, but
mayembrace reducing the risk of infection)
- negotiated. Negotiation is not bestowed on a coachee . It is a
strategy to influence behaviour. Negotiated goals are more
likely to generate patient commitment and adherence.
- realistic
- specific and achievable. A broad goal may be broken down
into several component parts
- short-term; so that progress can be monitored and success
quickly realised
- solution-focused and defined in positive terms. Changing
behaviour will be more successful if couched in positive
terms of acquisition, rather than reduction; presence, not
absence (e.g. increasing the number of days without smoking
as opposed to decreasing the number of smoking days)

943
FIVE EASY STEPS TO SMART GOAL SETTING

In order to have a good chance of being accomplished, a goal has

to be specific.

The point is, you need to know HOW TO SET SMART GOALS if
you want to make SMART decisions in your life.

Developing the skill of smart goal setting has the potential to

make a significant difference in your life - it provides a solid
platform for:

Starting personal and business projects

Making strategic decisions
Creating excellent action plans which incorporate your
short and long term development goals

If you don't know how to set SMART GOALS, then you may well
not be realizing your full potential.

Any SMART person will tell you the

same thing: if you don't know where
it is you want to go, you are going to
wind up somewhere else!

This would be so sorry, because you

don't want to invest your precious
time into any adventures without
knowing exactly what it is you want
to achieve, both in the short and long term.

A lot of people go into a venture, having some vague idea about

what they want to achieve and where they want to be in 6
months, 1 year, 5 and 10 years down the track. Well, I'm here to
tell you that unless those ideas can be translated into specific

944
and measurable SMART GOALS, they are wasting their time -
they just ain't gonna get theresorry!

WRITE YOUR GOALS DOWN - Think about your DREAMS and

aspirations - where do you see yourself down the track, what are
you doing, who are you doing it with, who do you want to help,
do you own the house of your dreams, the car of your dreams,
are you traveling the world, etc, - You get the picture!

The problem is that the words GOALS and DREAMS all too often
become synonymous and that is where confusion sets in!

Of course, there is nothing wrong with having a vision for your

business and your life,. In fact it is absolutely a key ingredient for
success.

However, if you think a goal looks like this: "I would like to be
financially free, able to give up my JOB, stay at home and
look after my kids, take them on world trips and live in a
million dollar house"

Then think again!!!

That's a dream alright,

the kind you have in your pillow at night!
But it's NOT a Goal!

Sure, it could be your vision and it could become your reality, but
in order to achieve this wildly inspiring picture you need to
immerse yourself in some "real" goal setting activity, not just
dreams!

945
 So let's cut to the chase!
What is SMART goal setting?
S M A R T is a mnemonic used in management.

S M A R T is a way to evaluate that the objectives for a particular

project are relevant and appropriate for that project.

S M A R T Objectives are an integral part of Management By

Objectives (MBO). Management by objectives has been used
extensively by managers as a planning tool. It is a process by
which managers and employees work together and agree on
specific and defined objectives for a particular project. This
process ensures that both managers and employees agree on and
are committed to the project outcomes.

The origin of the term S M A R T objectives is unknown, however,

Peter Drucker in his 1954 book "The Practice of Management"
outlined a system that was very similar to S M A R T objectives as
part of his discussion on Management by Objectives (MBO).

The process of writing S M A R T objectives or smart goal setting

has become a business management tool used extensively for
project management and also for performance appraisal
purposes.

Learning how to write and use SMART goal setting is a skill you
definitely want to master
if you want to be successful in YOUR life and in YOUR business!

946
 Success does not just happen to the
lucky, nor is working hard sufficient. It
is all about developing skills for success
and those skills are many and varied.

If you really want to make your life

hum, you'll develop the skill of SMART
goal setting and include this process as
an integral part of your action plan.

Smart goal setting adds clarity, focus and purpose to every action
plan.

Without objectives, planning is often non existent or at best done

at the same time that you are about to take action! This is
problematic and not good practice. Plans can often change as a
result of either a lack of time to consider all options or because
there was no predetermined outcome in the first place. In other
words, you are flying by the seat of your pants instead of having
a well thought through plan of attack.

So what do you do if you've got NO IDEA how to set goals for

your life and you need some goal setting tips - some simple
techniques to get started?

Well, I've got GREAT NEWS for you!

It is really not that complex if you follow
The 5 Easy Steps to SMART goal setting!

Before we get started on those 5 Easy Steps, I want to make sure

you are 100% clear on the following:

947
Firstly, what is an objective or goal?
An objective or goal is a specific statement describing a RESULT.

Secondly, why set goals?

Setting and clarifying goals is an essential part of the path to
success.

Thirdly - what do objectives or goals provide for YOU?

Direction for activities
A clear process for defining expected results
The criteria against which actual accomplishments can
be measured
Targets to motivate performance improvements
A common sense of purpose, which enhances teamwork

SMART goal setting is one of the most positive and rewarding

habits you can develop in your personal life, as it is in any
business. It is a process by which you can evaluate the current
situation and develop strategies to move forward. Moving
forward is what gives you the growth and success that most
people aspire too.

If it is your desire to be successful in your life, then you most

certainly don't want to accept the "status quo". The only way to
make sure you are not sitting in exactly the same place you are
sitting in today, in 6 months, 1 year or 10 years time is to
implement smart goal setting as one of your primary practices.

SMART Goal Setting assists YOU to PLAN AHEAD

and develop a STRATEGIC APPROACH
to creating SUCCESS inYOUR life!

948
Here is how you do it:

OK, so that's the goal setting theory - how would you apply this S
M A R T model to your life?

If a goal or objective is going to be an effective success building

tool it needs to be S M A R T. In other words you need to write
your goals so that they measure up against the S M A R T criteria
from the 5 Easy Steps chart above.

949
Let's take a look at a real life example.

How about this:

** "I want to save enough in order to be able to buy a new car by
the end of next year. **

Is this a SMART Goal - does it measure up?

Let's break up this goal and see if it's SMART using the goal
setting form below.

Can we can tick all the boxes right?

It doesnt really look like this could be an excellent example of
smart goal setting, does it?

950
Let's look at this more closely by evaluating this objective in
terms of each of the 5 Easy Steps:

STEP ONE - SPECIFIC - is this objective specific?

Do we know WHAT we are looking at here? NO, we do not - our
objective is too vague: we do not know how much we will have
to save, nor what car we want to buy.

Vague objectives are not inspiring. We have to be able to

visualize our goal: see ourselves enjoying the success when the
goal will be met.

STEP TWO - MEASURABLE - Do we know HOW MUCH or HOW

MANY?
You may have a perfectly clear idea about the price of the car you
want to buy and the amount of money you will have to save, but
you omitted to write the numbers down. In three months from
now, how will you know that you are on the good track? How
will you know when an extra effort is required?

STEP THREE - ACTION ORIENTATED - Does it describe a result?

Again, the words "save" and buy a car are too vague I'm afraid.
What do they really represent? How would you measure this?
How could you know that you are actually saving enough? Can
you find a better way to describe the result you are looking for?

STEP FOUR - REALISTIC - Is this goal realistic and relevant to the

business owner?
Again, it doesnt show from the description of your goal. How
much are you earning? How much can you save? How will you
spread your saving effort? How will you anticipate possible
changes in earnings, expenses, price of the car, unexpected costs,
? In a smart goal you will have taken these elements into
account,

951
The key to remember here is this: smart goal setting is about
setting goals that are challenging but realistically achievable - no
point setting a goal for the sake of it and knowing there isn't a
hope that you'll ever achieve it - that would be pretty
demoralizing, not to mention slightly stupid!

STEP FIVE - TIME-BASED - BY WHEN should this be done?

In this case do we have a deadline by which this goal should be
achieved in order that we might measure the outcome? The
short answer is YES, we do.

So, in this example, out of the 5 steps, only one has been
correctly defined. How helpful would it be to you if your goals
are this vague? - Is this SMART goal setting? ----- Well, NO!

The solution to better planning is to

define challenging, but realistic goals,
then think ahead about what, how and by
when exactly you want to achieve, be very
specific about your data ... and to plan
regular evaluations.

The "5 EASY STEPS TO SMART GOAL SETTING".

Smart Goal Setting is a very important part of your skill
development and overall success in life. Don't ever
underestimate the power of this skill to make your life hum!

LEARN it, PRACTICE it and APPLY it to YOUR life.

You'll be very glad you did!

Source: http://www.network-marketing-mlm-success-
system.com/smart-goal-setting.html

952
Goals and Goal-Setting
Goal-setting is the one activity that sets apart self-developers
from those who survive or just get by. Goal-setting enables us to
create the future we want to happen rather than live the future
that others want to happen. In goal-setting, we take charge. Here
are 7 ways to set reachable goals.
1. Start With Your Strengths
Although you can base your goals on anything you want, your
chances of success are greater if, first, you base them on your
strengths and second, on the current opportunities in your field.
To find out your strengths, do some self-research, such as a
personal SWOT: your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and
threats.
2. Put Your Goals In Writing
Written goals have a way of transforming wishes into wants,
can'ts into cans, dreams into plans and plans into reality. The act
of writing clarifies your goals and provides you with a way to
check your progress. You can even add reasons to give you more
motivation. So don't just think it - ink it!
3. Dream Big
One of the factors that restricts the realisation of our full
potential is the belief that we shouldn't go for big goals. Yet all
the evidence of those who realize big goals is that we can always
achieve far more than we think. David Schwartz says in his book
"The Magic of Thinking Big": "Big goals attract big resources like
a magnet."
4. Pitch Each Goal
Once you have set your ultimate goal, you then need to set the
intermediate goals that will get you where you want. Don't pitch
these too easily or too ambitiously or they will drop into the

953
Drop Zone. Aim to make them challenging: out of reach, but not
out of sight.
5. Express Them Right
It's important to express your goals in the right way.
never express your goal in terms of what you don't want;
always in terms of what you do want
express your goals in performance terms not reward terms
express your goals in terms of how others benefit
express your goals according to the principles which matter.
6. Set Goals In Terms of Behaviour
When we set goals for ourselves, they should be expressed in
behavioural terms, rather than in terms of status, rewards or
position. Thats because behaviour is something within our
power, while status, rewards and position are not. Formulating
goals in behavioural terms also means we present a strong
positive image of ourselves to our brains. The brain, not knowing
the difference between a real or imagined experience, then seeks
to act in accordance with the presented image.
7. Pursue Your Goals With Passion
The driving force behind your goal-achievement is Desire. You
must desire your goals constantly, vividly and with a burning
passion, knowing that you have already achieved them and now
only need to realise them. If you do, you cannot fail to achieve
them. It was said of Michaelangelo that, such was his focus and
desire, he could blot out every distraction while working on a
project such as the statue of David, until it was completed.
Goal-setting is central to maximising our potential because it
enables us to create something unique and new in our lives.
Goal-setting allows us to feed our goal-oriented brain and puts
us in control of our futures.

954
Programming Your Goals
Programming is a computer term that aptly describes what
happens when we feed a goal into the network of our minds. We
give it the goal and then programme it to achieve it. It then
works like a locked-on missile seeking out its target. The
following are 7 proven programming techniques that will ensure
you land right on target.
1. Affirm What You Want
Affirming what you want means stating your goal in the present
tense as if you'd already achieved it. The brain takes whatever
action needed to comply with the affirmation. Affirmations
should be positive, realistic and expressed in emotive words
such as I love and I enjoy. All of lifes outstanding
achievers use affirmations. World champion boxer Muhammed
Ali said, "I am the greatest". Composer Ludwig van Beethoven
said, "I know that I am an artist".
2. Visualise It
Visualisation means seeing yourself in your mind's eye having
achieved your goal. The secret of visualisation is to do it in such
rich detail, and with all your senses, that you are fully there. Ray
Kroc, founder of restaurant chain McDonalds, had a regular
bedtime routine, in which he would imagine all the days
problems written on a blackboard. One by one, he would
visualise them being solved. As a result, he managed to sleep like
a log.
3. Associate Your Goal With Rewards
Associate your goal with something you desire such as money, a
desired object, or simply the feeling of pleasure and you will be
motivated towards it. Alternatively, associate not getting your
goal with something you don't want, such as loss of money or
physical pain and you will remind yourself of what to avoid.

955
These two feelings, pleasure and pain, are powerful
programming forces.
4. Act As If
The more you act as if you've already achieved what you want,
the more likely you are to achieve it. It's what cricketers do in the
nets. Or teams that rehearse fire drills each week. Or
entrepreneurs who visit their dream home each day as if they
already owned it. The brain cannot tell the difference between
actual reality and imagined reality and so will simply believe you
have already achieved your goals.
5. De-Bug With Positive Self-Talk
Just as a computer programme occasionally gets infected with
viruses and bugs, so your own goal-setting programming can get
infected with setbacks, doubts, and feelings of failure. Thats
when you need an anti-virus mental programme to get rid of the
bugs. One such programming is Positive Suggestion which is
activated whenever you have thoughts of fear, panic or doom.
Simply replace your negative thoughts with positive ones and
remind yourself of your progress: Every day in every way I am
getting nearer and nearer my goals.
6. Leave It Alone
Once we feed our goals into our subconscious brains, its very
important that we let our brains get on with the job without
interference. The conscious brain is like the machine operator
while the sub-conscious is the machine itself. This means that
you have to let go and resist the temptation to analyse or check
how its doing. When you let go, you let God or, if you like, let
good into your life.
7. Pray With Heartfelt Gratitude
Prayers are a form of programming that people have practised
for centuries. But with one important difference from other

956
kinds of programming. As well as verbalizing or internalizing
something you want, you give thanks as if you already possessed
it. Such gratitude connects you to a mightier power than you
possess and unleashes great forces that work on your behalf.
When you practise these 7 programming techniques to achieve
your goals, you will achieve with scientific certainty whatever
you desire.

957
4.4 MOTIVATING OTHERS
Using Motivation Theories to Help Influence Behavior
Written by: N Nayab Edited by: Ginny Edwards

Research has established a relationship between motivation

theories and organizational behavior. Read on for an
explanation of how employees behave in an organization and
how to motivate them to work to their potential.
Maslows Hierarchy of Needs Theory
The Need Hierarchy theory of
Abraham Maslow, first expounded in
1943, ranks amongst the earliest
studies linking motivational theory
and organizational behavior.
Maslows Hierarchy of Needs Theory
lists a hierarchy of five need levels:

1. Physiological needs, or the need for basic necessities

such as food, water, and shelter
2. Safety needs, or the need for security in both home
and work
3. Social needs, or the need for loving, acceptance, and
group affiliation
4. Esteem needs, or the need for recognition and
acknowledgment, and self-respect
5. Self-actualization needs, or the need to develop to
one's fullest potential
An employee works his way up the need hierarchy, and on
fulfilling a need level, aspires for the next level. For instance, an
employee already having attained recognition and

958
acknowledgment no longer remains motivated by rewards such
as recognition and acknowledgment, and would instead require
opportunities for self-actualization to remain motivated.
Conversely, an employee frustrated by the inability to fulfill
higher-level needs may strive to fulfill lower level needs.
Organizations can motivate employees by identifying the
individual employees position in the need hierarchy and
creating conditions that make it possible for him or her to
achieve such needs through efforts in the workplace. For
example, good leadership can facilitate better group
communications.
Alfred Alderfers ERG Theory
Alderfers ERG theory is a modification of Maslows need
hierarchy theory, and holds motivation dependent on three need
dimensions: Existence, Relatedness, and Growth. Existence
refers to desire for physiological and materialistic well-being,
Relatedness refers to the desire to have significant positive
relationships with other people of consequence, and growth
refers to the desire to grow and use ones innate abilities to the
fullest potential.
The theory holds that an individual remains motivated to any of
these three need categories:
Need for achievement (nAch), such as the desire to do
things in a better or efficient way, to solve complex
problems, and the like
Need for affiliation (nAff) such as the desire to
establish and maintain good relations with others, to
become part of a group, and the like
Need for power (nPower), such as the desire to
assume leadership, become a decision making
authority, and the like

959
The order of importance of these three needs varies among
individuals. Organizations looking to motivate an employee need
to focus on individual thought processes to identify the dominant
need category, and establish performance rewards that fulfill
such needs.
Victor Vrooms Expectancy Theory
Victor Vrooms Expectancy theory holds that employees perform
to the level that they believe maximize their overall best
interests. The prospects of desirable rewards that satisfy needs
and a strong desire to satisfy needs motivate employees to
perform to their potential.
The Expectancy Theory holds motivation as a function of
Expectancy, Instrumentality, and Valence.
Expectancy refers to the expectations and confidence of
employees regarding their ability to perform a task, and depends
on factors such as basic skills required for the task, support
expected from superiors and subordinates, availability of
required tools and equipment, and the like.
Instrumentality refers to the perception of whether
accomplishment of the task leads to the desired results. This
depends on factors such as rules of performance and reward,
transparency and trust in the process, and the like.
Valence refers to the emotional orientations of people regarding
the outcomes or rewards, or the level of satisfaction they expect
to get from the rewards. A reward motivates only if employees
have a positive valence, or a preference to have the specified
reward to not having it. For instance, some employees may
prefer having time off, whereas other employees might not have
the need for time off and might prefer money or achievement.
Organizations looking to motivating employees in the workplace
need to ensure that all the three factors: Expectancy,
Instrumentality, and Valence remain positive or high. Even

960
achieving two out of these three factors does not motivate the
employee.
Equity Theory
John Adams equity theory of motivation holds that people gauge
the fairness of their work outcomes not based on the rewards
they get in return for their work, but the extent of their rewards
for the work put in relative to what others get. Individuals who
perceive that they receive relatively less than others in
proportion to their work inputs experience negative equity, and
individuals who perceive that they receive relatively more than
others in proportion to their work inputs experience positive
equity.
Organizations looking to motivate employees in the workplace
need to ensure positive equity and avoid negative equity. Factors
that trigger positive or negative equity are changes in work
inputs, changes in outcomes, changes in the comparison person,
and the like. The key to redress negative equity includes effective
communication of reliable evaluation standards and comparison
points to the employees.
Reinforcement Theory
B. F. Skinners reinforcement theory states that the individuals
behavior is a function of its reinforcement, which in turn bases
itself on the law of effect.
Reinforcement is the administration of a behavior resultant
consequence, and proper management of reinforcement helps
change the direction, level, and persistence of an individuals
behavior. The law of effect holds people repeat behavior that
results in a pleasant outcome and avoid behavior that results in
unpleasant outcomes. Organizations looking to motivate
employees need to indulge in the systematic reinforcement of
desirable work behavior.

961
The strategies to reinforce desirable work behaviors include
1. using positive reinforcement through immediate
rewards and encouragement whenever positive
behavior occurs
2. withdrawal of negative consequences to increase the
likelihood of repeating the desired behavior in a
similar setting
3. inflicting punishment or the administration of
negative consequences to reduce the likelihood of
repeating an undesired behavior in similar settings
4. extinction, or withdrawal of the reinforcing
consequences for a given behavior to discourage
repetition
Herzbergs Motivator-Hygiene Theory
Herzbergs Motivator-Hygiene theory ranks among the earliest
studies of motivational theories and organizational behavior.
This theory approaches motivation through job satisfaction, and
hold that jobs that do not offer achievement, recognition,
stimulating work, responsibility and advancement do not
provide satisfaction whereas jobs that offer achievement,
recognition, stimulating work, responsibility and advancement
provide satisfaction, and hence motivation.
Poor company policies, administration, supervision, pay,
interpersonal relationships with supervisors, and working
conditions cause dissatisfaction and demotivate employees
whereas good policies, efficient administration, effective
supervision, good pay, and good interpersonal relationships and
working conditions create job satisfaction that motivates
employees to work to their potential.
Source: http://www.brighthub.com/office/human-
resources/articles/95269.aspx

962
Motivating the coachee
As you read in the part on challenging the coachee, in spite of the
fact that the coachee knows he is in trouble and has come to see
you about it, he isn't always motivated to really work on his
problems. He can also get discouraged in the course of the
sessions. It is up to you then to motivate him again by
encouraging him to look at it from different angles.
Here are some motivating sentences that you could use:
What would encourage you?
What would swing you into action?
What inner resources could possibly strengthen your will to
succeed?
How could you speed things up?
How much time do you allocate yourself?
The sooner you start, the quicker you can reach your goal.
We could go over everything again, but how about 'starting'
today?
Every journey starts with the first step.
Sometimes you need to just grin and bear it, and go on.
Examples:
Despite the counselling I give up. I just can't make it through the
month.
I think you've come a long way, hold on. Let's look at what
we can come up with to make it through the coming week.
What do you think you need for that?
I really think I should cancel the evaluation with my boss. It's no
use.
Look, once you've had the evaluation with your boss, at least
you'll know where you stand. It might not go as you wish,
but things will be clearer then. And then you can make new

963
 plans and put your energy in them. Let's see how you can
prepare for the interview.
Nice plans we've made, but I just don't seem to be able to carry
them out.
What's holding you back?
I keep forgetting!
How can you stop yourself from forgetting?
Write things on a piece of paper and put it on the back of the
door, so I see it before I leave the house.
That's a good idea. Here's a piece of paper...

I want to quit school because I don't think I will ever graduate.

Maybe, but you've studied hard for four years. You only have
a few more months to go. Actually you are virtually there
and now you want to throw away four years, just like that?
Bit of a waste, eh?
It's your choice to throw away four years of effort.
I'm scared to death I will flunk.
So it's very important to you that you make it.
Yes, I didn't put in four years for nothing.
What would motivate you to go for it those last few months?
Source:
Source: The Art of Counselling / De Kunst van het Counselen
Copyright Owner: Academy for Counselling and Coaching -
The Netherlands - Paul van Schaik

964
4.5 SURFING THE FLOW SPIRAL
Flow is the mental state of operation in which a person in an
activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full
involvement, and success in the process of the activity. Proposed
by Mihly Cskszentmihlyi, the positive psychology concept has
been widely referenced across a variety of fields.
According to Cskszentmihlyi, flow is completely focused
motivation. It is a single-minded immersion and represents
perhaps the ultimate in harnessing the emotions in the service of
performing and learning. In flow, the emotions are not just
contained and channeled, but positive, energized, and aligned
with the task at hand. To be caught in the ennui of depression or
the agitation of anxiety is to be barred from flow. The hallmark of
flow is a feeling of spontaneous joy, even rapture, while
performing a task,. although flow is also described (below) as a
deep focus on nothing but the activity not even oneself or one's
emotions.
Colloquial terms for this or similar mental states include: to be
on the ball, in the moment, present, in the zone, wired in, in the
groove, or owning.
Components of flow
Cskszentmihlyi identifies the following ten factors as
accompanying an experience of flow
1. Clear goals (expectations and rules are discernible and goals
are attainable and align appropriately with one's skill set and
abilities). Moreover, the challenge level and skill level should
both be high.
2. Concentrating, a high degree of concentration on a limited
field of attention (a person engaged in the activity will have
the opportunity to focus and to delve deeply into it).

965
3. A loss of the feeling of self-consciousness, the merging of
action and awareness.
4. Distorted sense of time, one's subjective experience of time is
altered.
5. Direct and immediate feedback (successes and failures in the
course of the activity are apparent, so that behavior can be
adjusted as needed).
6. Balance between ability level and challenge (the activity is
neither too easy nor too difficult).
7. A sense of personal control over the situation or activity.
8. The activity is intrinsically rewarding, so there is an
effortlessness of action.
9. A lack of awareness of bodily needs (to the extent that one
can reach a point of great hunger or fatigue without realizing
it)
10. Absorption into the activity, narrowing of the focus of
awareness down to the activity itself, action awareness
merging.
Not all are needed for flow to be experienced.
Etymology
Flow is so named because during Cskszentmihlyi's 1975
interviews several people described their "flow" experiences
using the metaphor of a water current carrying them along. The
psychological concept of flow as becoming absorbed in an
activity is thus unrelated to the older phrase go with the flow.

966
History/background
The study of the concept of flow came about in the 1960s. Mihaly
Csikszentmihalyi, who is considered to be the founder of flow,
and his fellow researchers began researching flow after
Csikszentmihalyi became fascinated by artists who would
essentially get lost in their work.
Artists, especially painters, got so immersed in their work that
they would disregard their need for food, water and even sleep.
Thus, the origin of research on the theory of flow came about
when Csikszentmihalyi tried to understand this phenomenon
experienced by these artists. Flow research became prevalent in
the 1980s and 1990s, still with Csikszentmihalyi and his
colleagues in Italy at the forefront. Researchers interested in
optimal experiences and emphasizing positive experiences,
especially in places such as schools and the business world, also
began studying the theory of flow in this time period. The theory
of flow was greatly used in the theories of Maslow and Rogers in
their development of the humanistic tradition of psychology.
Flow has been experienced throughout history and across
cultures. The teachings of Buddhism and Taoism speak of a state
of mind known as the "action of inaction" or "doing without
doing" that greatly resembles the idea of flow. Also, Indian texts
on Advaita philosophy such as Ashtavakra Gita and the Yoga of
Knowledge such as Bhagavad-Gita refer to this similar state.
Historical sources hint that Michelangelo may have painted the
ceiling of the Vatican's Sistine Chapel while in a flow state. It is
reported that he painted for days at a time, and he was so
absorbed in his work that he did not stop for food or sleep until
he reached the point of passing out. He would wake up refreshed
and, upon starting to paint again, re-entered a state of complete
absorption.

967
Bruce Lee also spoke of a psychological state similar to flow in
his book the Tao of Jeet Kune Do.
Mechanism of flow
In every given moment, there is a great deal of information made
available to each individual. Psychologists have found that one's
mind can attend to only a certain amount of information at a
time. According to Miller's 1956 study, that number is about 126
bits of information per second. That may seem like a large
number (and a lot of information), but simple daily tasks take
quite a lot of information. Just having a conversation takes about
40 bits of information per second; that's 1/3 of one's capacity.
That is why when one is having a conversation he or she cannot
focus as much of his or her attention on other things.
For the most part (except for basic bodily feelings like hunger
and pain, which are innate), people are able to decide what they
want to focus their attention on. However, when one is in the
flow state, he or she is completely engrossed with the one task at
hand and, without making the conscious decision to do so, loses
awareness of all other things: time, people, distractions, and
even basic bodily needs. This occurs because all of the attention
of the person in the flow state is on the task at hand; there is no
more attention to be allocated.
One cannot force oneself to enter flow. It just happens. A flow
state can be entered while performing any activity, although it is
most likely to occur when one is wholeheartedly performing a
task or activity for intrinsic purposes.
Mental state in terms of challenge level and skill level, according
to Csikszentmihalyi.

968
Conditions for flow

There are three conditions that are necessary to achieve the flow
state:
1. One must be involved in an activity with a clear set of
goals. This adds direction and structure to the task.
2. One must have a good balance between the perceived
challenges of the task at hand and his or her own
perceived skills. One must have confidence that he or
she is capable to do the task at hand.
3. The task at hand must have clear and immediate
feedback. This helps the person negotiate any changing
demands and allows him or her to adjust his or her
performance to maintain the flow state.

969
In 1997, Cskszentmihlyi published the graph to the right. This
graph depicts the relationship between the perceived challenges
of a task and one's perceived skills. This graph illustrates one
further aspect of flow: it can only occur when the activity at hand
is a higher-than-average challenge (above the center point) and
requires above-average skills (to the right of the center point).
The center of this graph (where the sectors meet) represents
one's average levels of challenge and skill. The further from the
center an experience is, the greater the intensity of that state of
being (whether it is flow or anxiety or boredom or relaxation).
The autotelic personality
Cskszentmihlyi hypothesized that people with several very
specific personality traits may be better able to achieve flow
more often than the average person. These personality traits
include curiosity, persistence, low self-centeredness, and a high
rate of performing activities for intrinsic reasons only. People
with most of these personality traits are said to have an autotelic
personality.
It has not yet been documented whether people with an autotelic
personality are truly more likely to achieve a flow state. One
researcher (Abuhamdeh, 2000) did find that people with an
autotelic personality have a greater preference for "high-action-
opportunity, high-skills situations that stimulate them and
encourage growth" than those without an autotelic personality.
It is in such high-challenge, high-skills situations that people are
most likely to enter the flow state.
Group flow
Cskszentmihlyi suggests several ways a group can work
together so that each individual member achieves flow. The
characteristics of such a group include:

970
 Creative spatial arrangements: Chairs, pin walls, charts,
but no tables; thus work primarily standing and moving
Playground design: Charts for information inputs, flow
graphs, project summary, craziness (here also craziness
has a place), safe place (here all may say what is
otherwise only thought), result wall, open topics
Parallel, organized working
Target group focus
Advancement of existing one (prototyping)
Increase in efficiency through visualization
Using differences among participants as an opportunity,
rather than an obstacle
Applications
Applications suggested by Cskszentmihlyi versus other
practitioners
Only Cskszentmihlyi seems to have published suggestions for
extrinsic applications of the flow concept, such as design
methods for playgrounds to elicit the flow experience. Other
practitioners of Cskszentmihlyi's flow concept focus on
intrinsic applications, such as spirituality, performance
improvement, or self-help. Reinterpretations of
Cskszentmihlyi's flow process exist to improve performance in
areas as diverse as business, piano improvisation, sport
psychology, computer programming, and standup comedy.
Education
In education, there is the concept of overlearning, which seems
to be an important factor in this technique, in that
Cskszentmihlyi states that overlearning enables the mind to
concentrate on visualizing the desired performance as a singular,
integrated action instead of a set of actions. Challenging
assignments that (slightly) stretch one's skills lead to flow.

971
Around 2000, it came to the attention of Cskszentmihlyi that
the principles and practices of the Montessori Method of
education seemed to purposefully set up continuous flow
opportunities and experiences for students. Cskszentmihlyi
and psychologist Kevin Rathunde embarked on a multi-year
study of student experiences in Montessori settings and
traditional educational settings. The research supported
observations that students achieved flow experiences more
frequently in Montessori settings.
Music
Musicians, especially improvisational soloists may experience a
similar state of mind while playing their instrument. Research
has shown that performers in a flow state have a heightened
quality of performance as opposed to when they are not in a flow
state. In a study performed with professional classical pianists
who played piano pieces several times to induce a flow state, a
significant relationship was found between the flow state of the
pianist and the pianists heart rate, blood pressure, and major
facial muscles. As the pianist entered the flow state, heart rate
and blood pressure decreased and the major facial muscles
relaxed. This study further emphasized that flow is a state of
effortless attention. In spite of the effortless attention and overall
relaxation of the body, the performance of the pianist during the
flow state improved.
Groups of drummers experience a state of flow when they sense
a collective energy that drives the beat, something they refer to
as getting into the groove. Bass guitarists often describe a state
of flow when properly playing between the percussion and
melody as being in the pocket.

972
Sports
Flow may occur in challenging sports such as Eventing.
The concept of being in the zone during an athletic performance
fits within Cskszentmihlyi's description of the flow experience,
and theories and applications of being in the zone and its
relationship with athletic competitive advantage are topics
studied in the field of sport psychology.
Timothy Gallweys influential works on the "inner game" of
sports such as golf and tennis described the mental coaching and
attitudes required to "get in the zone" and fully internalize
mastery of the sport.
Roy Palmer suggests that "being in the zone" may also influence
movement patterns as better integration of the conscious and
subconscious reflex functions improves coordination. Many
athletes describe the effortless nature of their performance while
achieving personal bests see references.
The Formula One driver Ayrton Senna, who during qualifying for
the 1988 Monaco Grand Prix explained: "I was already on pole,
[...] and I just kept going. Suddenly I was nearly two seconds
faster than anybody else, including my team mate with the same
car. And suddenly I realised that I was no longer driving the car
consciously. I was driving it by a kind of instinct, only I was in a
different dimension. It was like I was in a tunnel."
When challenges and skills are simultaneously above average, a
broadly positive experience emerges. Also vital to the flow state
is a sense of control, which nevertheless seems simultaneously
effortless and masterful. Control and concentration manifest
with a transcendence of normal awareness; one aspect of this
transcendence is the loss of self-consciousness.

973
Religion and spirituality
Cskszentmihlyi may have been the first to describe this concept
in Western psychology, but as he himself readily acknowledges
he was most certainly not the first to quantify the concept of flow
or develop applications based on the concept.
For millennia, practitioners of Eastern religions such as
Hinduism, Buddhism and Taoism have honed the discipline of
overcoming the duality of self and object as a central feature of
spiritual development. Eastern spiritual practitioners have
developed a very thorough and holistic set of theories around
overcoming duality of self and object, tested and refined through
spiritual practice instead of the systematic rigor and controls of
modern science.
The phrase being at one with things is a metaphor of
Cskszentmihlyi's flow concept. Practitioners of the varied
schools of Zen Buddhism apply concepts similar to flow to aid
their mastery of art forms, including, in the case of Japanese Zen
Buddhism, Aikido, Cheng Hsin, Judo, Honkyoku, Kendo and
Ikebana. In yogic traditions such as Raja Yoga reference is made
to a state of flow in the practice of Samyama, a psychological
absorption in the object of meditation. Theravada Buddhism
refers to "access concentration," which is a state of flow achieved
through meditation and used to further strengthen
concentration into jhana, and/or to develop insight.
In Islam the first mental state that precedes human action is
known as al-khatir. In this state an image or thought is born in
the mind. When in this mental state and contemplating upon an
ayat or an imprint of God, one may experience a profound state
of Oneness or flow whereby the phenomena of nature, the
macrocosmic world and the souls of people are understood as a
sign of God. Also, the teaching in the Qu'ran of different nations
of people existing so that they may come to know each other is

974
an example of Oneness. All members of society and the world are
considered to be in flow of Oneness, one family, one body.
GamingThis is especially true since the primary goal of games is
to create entertainment through intrinsic motivation. The use of
flow in games helps foster an enjoyable experience which
increases motivation and draws players to continue playing.
Game designers, in particular, benefit from integration of flow
principles into game design. Games facilitate flow as either an
individual or group activity.
Flow in games has been linked to the Laws of Learning as part of
the explanation for why learning games (the use of games to
introduce material, improve understanding, or increase
retention) can show such incredible results. In particular, flow is
intrinsically motivating, which is part of the Law of Readiness.
The condition of feedback, required for flow, is associated with
the feedback aspects of the Law of Exercise. The positive
emotions associated with flow are associated with the Law of
Effect. The intense experiences of being in a state of flow are
directly associated with the Law of Intensity.
Using the Web
Researchers suggest that using the internet can cause a flow
state for users. If individuals are going through a flow state,
which is a pleasurable experience, web users eventually improve
their subjective well-being through accumulated ephemeral
moments. Many web users report certain descriptions of flow
when using the web, for example, absorbed interest, a feeling of
discovery, immersed pleasure, and time going very fast.
Flow Activities on the Web
Web users state that activities in the web atmosphere lead to a
flow state. There are four common activities that promote flow,
searching, surfing, reading and writing, and chatting.

975
Searching
The first and the most common activity to reach the flow state on
the web is searching on the web. An example of searching is
solving a problem such as the following responses from
participants in a study of web flow:
"I was very involved in several projects and used the net
resources to look up items to supplement/back-up/provide
information on those projects."
"Doing research into emotional intelligence theory following
links and leads to more information."
"Trying to find some scientific references for my research."
"Anytime I get involved in a new research project on the Web, I
get so excited and into it, I can have someone talking to me right
next to my desk . . . and I won't even hear them talking."
Surfing or Navigating
The second activity to reach flow state on the web is surfing or
navigating. An example of surfing or navigating is going through
hyperlinks such as the following responses from participants in a
study of web flow:
"Going from site to site, following links that were related."
"Doing some Web searches for information on a hobby of mine."
"I was going to a Web site which had a new song by my favorite
punk band. I was surprised and enmeshed in it."
"Looking for information on a specific book, and got off on some
links that were interesting and related [sort of] to what I started
out looking for."

976
Reading and Writing
The third activity to reach flow state on the web are reading and
writing. Reading consists of reading incoming emails, news,
articles, etc. on web pages. In addition, writing consists of
composing letters, articles, speeches, etc. on web pages. The
activity of reading e-mail and articles is one of the routes to
experience flow because the text usually contains some new or
relatively unfamiliar aspects, providing the challenges to sustain
flow, which in turn usually caused growth and perceived benefits
from increased knowledge and/or personal development.
Furthermore, writing articles, speeches, or emails corresponds
with the flow model due to the fact that an individual is
arranging his or her thoughts positively.
Chatting online
The fourth activity to reach flow state on the web is chatting
online. An example of chatting online is communicating with
other individuals such as the following responses from
participants in a study of web flow:
"I was simply engaged in a running series of conversations with
friends . . ."
"Chatroom outside normal business hours."
"Involved in a nine-way chat session with some friends I've made
on the alt.fan.sailor-moon newsgroup."
Other Activities
There are many other activities people can partake in while
using the web. Some individuals statethat they achieve flow by
coding a program, hacking into a small business, building their
own web page, watching a movie preview, troubleshooting
computer problems, and many more.

977
Components/Symptoms of flow on the Web
Merging of action and awareness
When an individual is in flow, they are concentrating and
narrowing down their activity. Therefore, an individuals inner
experience may reveal the phenomenon of merging action and
awareness. The mind and action merge when individuals
experience high concentration in the flow state. An example of
high concentration in the flow state is a tennis player focusing
only on his or her opponent and tennis ball, disregarding all
external and internal activities, such as losing or yelling from an
audience. In the web environment, the merging of action and
awareness is realized when a user becomes the issue he or she is
debating, the words he or she is typing, the sentences he or she is
reading, or the machine he or she is working on. As a result,
people just sit here and keep clicking and reading away.
Examples of merging action and awareness are responses from
participants in a study of web flow:
"Connected to the material, like I had several books open at the
same time and was moving between them without pause."
"I feel [am!] totally concentrated on my task. There is nothing but
the keyboard, the screen and my thought. If someone talks to me
I will answer and I am still on ``stand by awareness with my
environment, but I wouldn't think of doing or saying anything."
"When I was unemployed and desperately searching for work, a
task that seemed increasingly worthless, I began reading
newsgroups and involving myself in discussions and
disagreements there. The more involved I became in the *issues*
that I was discussing and arguing, the less important my own
petty problems became."
"Just that my whole concentration is focused in what I'm doing
I become the words I'm typing or reading. It's not that the
outside world doesn't exist if one of my roommates knocks on

978
my door, I notice them and it's not a shock to return to the
outside world. But until that happens I'm totally engrossed."
"In chat sessions I chat often enough that ``talking through the
keyboard has become second nature."
"Relaxed . . . I guess just . . . well . . . nothing. I wasn't feeling
anything until I'd sit back and relax my eyes a bit . . . then I'd
realize that I had more stuff that I should be doing, but I'd just sit
here and keep clicking and reading away."
"I was in a heated discussion on a chat network for the better
part of two hours. I cannot remember what the subject was
about, but all I knew was I was totally blind to the world."
A Loss of Self-Consciousness
People tend to lose awareness of self, due to the experiencing of
flow state. In addition, people tend to lose the function of
defending and protecting themselves because of flow. This is a
common experience from web users, such as the following
responses below from participants in a study of web flow:
"Whether it is reading newsgroups or doing a search for a
particular thing I tend to concentrate and ``lose myself."
"I become the persona I present in the newsgroup, not my ``real
self. It's my other identity."
"I am a smoker, I can't smoke in my office, and sometimes I won't
even want a cigarette for several hours [when in the flow state]."
"How do I feel? I tend to shut out my feelings too if I'm
reading/interacting with good content, I put off my feeling that I
need to go to the bathroom, that I am hungry, etc."
"I feel like there is no ``Me; I feel there has been a merging of
man and machine."

979
"I feel agitated and compelled to get the job done to the point of
ignoring hunger, thirst or the need to go to the bathroom."
"I get so disconnected from the world that someone else has to
pull me out. Like they were there with me to keep my mind off of
the ``real world. Oblivious. The physical world and its demands
cease to exist. My own mind and intelligence are the only
limitations I encounter."
"I heard the radio, drank beer, and smoked cigarettes. I was
aware of my surroundings, but yes I was less aware of my
problems."
"I don't know. I was working not looking at me working . . ."
Sense of Time Distortion
When a person is experiencing flow, their internal clock slows
down or speeds up, but the external clock is constant.
Furthermore, people state that hours seem to change into
minutes and vice versa. The sense of time distortion is frequent
in the web environment, such as the following responses from
web users:
"Even though I have a program that audibly announces the time
in a female voice every 15 minutes on my computer, I don't hear
it . . . When I leave my computer from the newsgroup I have a
slightly dazed, disassociated feeling. While in the newsgroup I
have lost all sense of time. What subjectively seems like 20
minutes turns out to have actually been 2 and 1/2 hours."
"Time went by extremely fast. Two hours had passed before I
had ever realized it. I was quite shocked that so much time had
passed without me being aware of it."
"Just that feeling of being totally absorbed in what you're doing,
looking at the clock and saying ``Dang, how can it be 4 a.m., I just
started this project!

980
"I felt involved and like the time was a half-hour but it was more
like three hours."
"Finding content material for a series of class presentations. I
began putting the material together at 10 a.m. and floundered for
a few minutes, when I began finding detailed information I kept
working of what seemed like an hour it was actually 3 p.m."
"I don't remember specifics, but I have several memories of head
jerking (as in when you fall asleep and your head falls forward
and jerks back) that caused me to realize that my perception of
what time it should be was several hours behind the time it
actually was."
Professions and work
Developers of computer software reference getting into a flow
state, sometimes referred to as The Zone or hack mode,[ when
developing in an undistracted state. Stock market operators
often use the term "in the pipe" to describe the psychological
state of flow when trading during high volume days and market
corrections. Professional poker players use the term "playing the
A-game" when referring to the state of highest concentration and
strategical awareness.
Flow in the Workplace
Conditions of flow, defined as a state in which challenges and
skills are equally matched, play an extremely important role in
the workplace. Because flow is associated with achievement, its
development could have concrete implications in increasing
workplace satisfaction and accomplishment. Flow researchers,
such as Csikszentmihalyi, believe that certain interventions may
be performed to enhance and increase flow in the workplace,
through which people would gain intrinsic rewards that
encourage persistence and provide benefits. In his consultation
work, Csikszentmihalyi emphasizes finding activities and
environments that are conducive to flow, and then identifying

981
and developing personal characteristics to increase experiences
of flow. Applying these methods in the workplace, such as
Csikszentmihalyi did with Swedish police officers, can improve
morale by fostering a sense of greater happiness and
accomplishment, and in correlated to increased performance. In
his review of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyis book Good Business:
Leadership, Flow, and the Making of Meaning, Coert Vissar
introduces the ideas presented by Csikszentmihalyi, including
good work in which one enjoys doing your best while at the
same time contributing to something beyond yourself. He then
provides tools by which managers and employees can create an
atmosphere that encourages good work. First, Csikszentmihalyi
explains that experiencing flow, in which a task requires full
involvement, and the challenge of a task matches ones ability.
In order to achieve flow,
Csikszentmihalyi lays out the following eight conditions:
1. goals are clear
2. feedback is immediate
3. a balance between opportunity and capacity
4. concentration deepens
5. the present is what matters
6. control is no problem
7. the sense of time is altered
8. the loss of ego
Csikszentmihalyi argues that with increased experiences of flow,
people experience growth towards complexity, in which people
flourish as their achievements grow and with that comes
development of increasing emotional, cognitive, and social
complexity (Vissar). By creating a workplace atmosphere that
allows for flow and growth, Csikszentmihalyi argues, can
increase the happiness and achievement of employees. There
are, however, barriers to achieving flow in the workplace. In his
chapter Why Flow Doesnt Happen on the Job, Csikszentmihalyi

982
argues the first reason that flow does not occur is that the goals
of ones job are not clear. He explains that while some tasks at
work may fit into a larger, organization plan, the individual
worker may not see where their individual task fits it. Second,
limited feedback about ones work can reduce motivation and
leaves the employee unaware of whether or not they did a good
job. When there is little communication of feedback, an employee
may not be assigned tasks that challenge them or seem
important, which could potentially prevent an opportunity for
flow. In the study Predicting flow at work: Investigating the
activities and job characteristics that predict flow states at work
Karina Nielsen and Bryan Clean used a 9- item flow scale to
examine predictors of flow at two levels: activity level (such as
brainstorming, problem solving, and evaluation) and at a more
stable level (such as role clarity, influence, and cognitive
demands). They found that activities such as planning, problem
solving, and evaluation predicted transient flow states, but that
more stable job characteristics were not found to predict flow at
work. This study can help us identify which task at work can be
cultivated and emphasized in order to help employees
experience flow on the job.
In her article in Positive Psychology News Daily, Kathryn Britton
examines the importance of experiencing flow in the workplace
beyond the individual benefits it creates. She writes, Flow isnt
just valuable to individuals; it also contributes to organizational
goals. For example, frequent experiences of flow at work lead to
higher productivity, innovation, and employee development
(Csikszentmihalyi, 1991, 2004). So finding ways to increase the
frequency of flow experiences can be one way for people to work
together to increase the effectiveness of their workplaces.

983
Benefits of flow
Flow is an innately positive experience; it is known to "produce
intense feelings of enjoyment and its improvement of
performance results in satisfying achievement.
Flow has a strong, documented correlation with performance
enhancement. Researchers have found that achieving a flow
state is positively correlated with optimal performance in the
fields of artistic and scientific creativity (Perry, 1999; Sawyer,
1992), teaching (Cskszentmihlyi, 1996), learning
(Cskszentmihlyi et al., 1993), and sports (Jackson, Thomas,
Marsh, & Smethurst, 2002; Stein, Kimiecik, Daniels, & Jackson,
1995)
Flow also has a strong correlation with the further development
of skills and personal growth. When one is in a flow state, he or
she is working to master the activity at hand. To maintain that
flow state, one must seek increasingly greater challenges.
Attempting these new, difficult challenges stretches one's skills.
One emerges from such a flow experience with a bit of personal
growth and great "feelings of competence and efficacy".
Further, flow is positively correlated with a higher subsequent
motivation to perform and to perform well.
Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

984
4.6 INCREASING SELF ESTEEM
4.6.1 What You See is What You Get!
How do you see
yourself? Do you see
yourself as someone
whos successful,
healthy and
attractive? Are you
surrounded by positive
influences and great
relationships?
Or, do you see yourself
struggling with
negativity or bad
habits and
questionable beha-
vior? What do YOU
see? What you see is
essential because what
you see is what you
get!
We often have a distorted view of ourselves. For instance when
people look in the mirror its like a fun house, they see this
completely ridiculous image, only in this case its not fun and its
not always reality. Its very often not as bad as they perceive it to
be.
How you see yourself is critical to your life because your
thoughts dictate your feelings and your actions.
The person we believe ourselves to be will always act in a
manner consistent with our self-image. ~Brian Tracy

985
Time to Detox

If you always see yourself as average, dumb or overweight then

you certainly will remain that way. If you change the image that
you see inside your mind, then it will change that image outside
of your mind. It cannot happen any other way. You are what your
thoughts are. First a thought, then an action.
Think about it. Is it better to see yourself failing or succeeding?
What if you think youll fail an exam, or ruin a relationship? If a
thought is followed by an action, how can negative thoughts be
beneficial to anything? Negative thoughts can only have a
negative impact on the outcome of the event youre thinking

986
about, and then you will act on that negativity. People do it in
their relationships all the time, they dont ask, they just assume
the worst and then act as if its true. It alters their mood and
their relationship, all because of a negative thought or
visualization.
Even though you may not be where you want to be in your life,
whats stopping you from doing something about it? If youre not
happy with your career or relationship, how will it change? It can
only change if you change.
The self-image is the key to human personality and human
behavior. Change the self image and you change the
personality and the behavior. ~Maxwell Maltz
Reign over the Brain
If youre not familiar
with how powerful
thoughts truly are
then this should
interest you.
A study conducted by
Dr. Blaslotto at the
University of Chicago
was done where he
split people into three
groups and tested
each group on how
many free throws
they could make
shooting a basketball. It went like so.
The first group practiced free throws every day for an hour.
The second group did nothing.
The third group just visualized themselves making free
throws.

987
After 30 days, he tested them again and the results were quite
amazing.
The first group improved by 24%.
The second group did not improve which was expected
The third group improved by 23% without ever touching
a basketball!!!!
Imagine the improvement if they implemented both physical
practice along with the mental rehearsal through positive
thoughts and successful visualization. They were only instructed
to harness the power of thought and that alone had a positive
outcome.
You become what you think about. ~Earl Nightingale

One Flesh, One Bone . . . One Vision

You have one life, one body and one mind so use it to the best of
your abilities! Do not believe what others think of you, even if
theyre right, right now. You can prove them wrong from this day

988
forward. You can turn your life around. You can learn and grow
because creative visualization doesnt just pertain to sports, its
equally effective in all aspects of life.
Will visualization work every time? No, but it will always create a
better outcome than if you focus on negative thoughts. Before I
was a sales trainer and success coach, I was a salesperson, and I
always assumed the best. I never thought why would this
person be interested? or maybe Im bothering them, instead I
felt that every person I spoke to was going to want my product,
and coincidentally I was the top producer in my company. All
because I acted on the thought that they were going to do
business with me. I didnt let them think it over nor did I
send/leave information for them, and why would I? As far as I
was concerned, they were buying! And they did more often than
not.
Whether you think you can, or you think you cant, youre
right. ~Henry Ford
Change your mind, change your thoughts and change your life,
its all up to you, no one else can do it for you. You have the
power to decide exactly how you want your life to go, so take it
back and make it a fun house!!
Source:
Rob Liano - Rock Star Success Coach & Sales Trainer
www.rockstarsalestraining.com - 1.888.379.8315

989
1.6.2 Beyond Encouragement.

Validating Self-Worth and Character Through the Use

of Directed Reflections
Introduction
Encouragement is a basic element in our work as coachs and
therapists. Through the use of a new strategy, directed
reflections, we can go beyond encouragement, focusing on the
36 core components of character, and truly validate self-worth
and character. The results of this technique are profound and all
coachs/therapists can benefit from its application. In this article,
the strategy of directed reflections is defined and demonstrated.
Suggestions for use, such as in debriefing homework and in
character education, are offered.
Although Alfred Adler, the creator of Individual Psychology, did
not focus directly on character education, he did offer one of the
more important concepts to be found in the counseling
literature.
For Adler, the single criterion for success in life was embodied
in the extent to which the individual possesses social interest.
It is this concept that describes the ideal state of the individuals
mental health or what we might term today as character. Adler
described social interest as being an aptitude or innate
potentiality for living cooperatively and contributing to the good
of others. However, according to Adler, social interest or
character had to be consciously developed (Milliren, Evans, &
Newbauer, 2003).
If we are to draw out and help develop social interest or
character in others, it is important that we validate it when we
see (or hear about) it happening. Our coachees report the
changes they are making all the time, yet we rarely see these
reports as opportunities for developing character. A chance

990
remark from a coachee My wife and I were able to have a long
talk together last nightpresents a tremendous opportunity to
draw out character traits that are already there. We have an
opportunity to reflect the underlying character components and
thereby reinforce the life choices that our coachees are making.
Thus, character education can become an everyday opportunity.
Messer (2001) related character to the concept of self-respect.
He quoted Rudolf Dreikurs, a student of Alfred Adler, as defining
self-respect as the feeling that one is a worthwhile human being
in spite of ones faults and imperfections (Messer,2001,p. 265).
This represents the courage to be imperfect that Dreikurs
discussed on numerous occasions (Terner & Pew, 1978) and is
the key to the development of character. Messer went on to say
that self-respect (or character) is not expressed in terms of
knowing, but of feeling. It is not based on objective conditions.
It is a subjective experience (p. 265).
Table 1 lists 36 characteristics or components that help to
define ones character. These serve as the traits or qualities that
can be directly reflected to a coachee in response to his/her
success report.

991
992
The intention of a directed reflection is to draw out the elements
of character that already exist for the person. The purpose is to
tag that inner core where belief in self lies. Try to hear the
following responses and note the differences.
(1) How did you feel about that?
(2) You must feel good about how that turned out for you.
(3) It feels really good inside when you realize that you are
capable of handling things for yourself.
The third example is a directed reflection. It is focused on the
feeling component of the experience (which is similar to the skill
of reflective listening, as in the second response above) as well as
on the character component that is being evidenced by the
person. It is this latter element that is so critical to identify in and
for the person.
We need to draw that component out in our responses and
demonstrate to the individual that he/she already is acting in
positive, useful, and constructive ways.
In the example that follows, the various components of
character, noted in Table 1, are deliberately reflected back to the
person. Each response is designed to capture a different
character component. In the example, these components are
noted in parentheses. We have discovered that it is best to use a
five-step response sequence that includes a variation of five
different components of character. This system seems to provide
a broader range of validation and is most reinforcing for the
coachee. At a minimum, a three-step system will suffice; at a
maximum, anything that exceeds five different responses
becomes overkill and begins to lose effectiveness.
In this example, a young woman is reporting what might be
termed a negative success. However, even in some of the
sadness about losing a relationship there are opportunities to

993
directly reflect the underlying positive elements of character that
made it possible for her to end the relationship.
YW: I finally broke up with my boyfriend last night. You know,
he was pretty abusive to me.
CO: As much as that may hurt right now, you sound pretty
confident about what you did. (Confidence)
YW: I was kind of scared for a long time but I made up my mind
to do it and now its done.
CO: So, you overcame your fear and took a big step. (Freedom
from Fear/Anxiety)
YW: It wasespecially for meI dont like to cause trouble.
CO: Youd rather keep the peace if you can but now you know
you can take charge like this yourself!
(Power and Control)
YW: I deserve betterhe always put me down and told me I
was stupid.
CO: And you have more worth and value than that. (Equality)
YW: Duhhhhh! Of course I do!
CO: And now you are feeling really in control of the situation.
(Independence)
YW: Yeah. He wants to make up but Im not interested any
more.
You will note that the preceding example includes five different
directed reflections. This is important because we want the
person to really hear what we are saying. In the event that one
reflection of a character component does not quite take, we
increase the odds by adding the other four. The general outcome,
however, is that each of the directed reflections connects in some

994
way with the core of a persons being and serves to reinforce
some aspect of the individuals inner self.
Directed reflections require the skill of intelligent or educated
guessing. Guessing, whether right or wrong, allows the coach to
arrive at the core of the situation much more quickly than
endless fact-gathering and questioning. As we debrief the
homework our coachees have participated in, we can listen for
the components of character and use the directed reflections to
respond to the successful elements. However, as seen in the
example dialogue, we do not have to limit our responses to
positive experiences.
If we do not get reports of successes spontaneously, we might
wish to open our individual (and even group) contacts with
coachees with the following statements or questions:
Tell me about one of your wins or successes.
Tell me what you accomplished lately.
Have you done something new that youve never done before?
What kind of positive risks have you taken?
Then, get set to listen and focus on the character component. If
the persons first response does not seem to lead anywhere, then
an appropriate response might be: And how was that for you?
In classroom groups, we can select a story with a theme or
character issue. These stories can serve as a stimulus to our
discussions and directed reflections. We can ask, Have you ever
had to make a similar choice? Tell me about it. As the
student(s) relate their stories, respond to their telling with
appropriate directed reflections from the 36 components of
character.

995
Summary
The directed reflection is a new technique for validating the self-
worth and character of others. A directed reflection is a response
to another person that consists of a reflection of feeling coupled
with a statement of one (or more) of the 36 components of
character. For example, we might say: Youre feeling really
pumped (a reflection of feeling) when you are in control of
yourself and can make positive things happen for you (two of the
components of character).
Responses such as this provide an excellent means for debriefing
a coachees success experience. For the greatest impact, three
to five directed reflections should be used at any one time.
Conclusion
This strategy should only be used to catch character when it is
occurring. We cannot force the issue of character development.
We can only reinforce the appropriate components of character
when we have an opportunity to observe them in action. The
observations can be in real time or in the success stories others
tell usbut they
must exist. This is not a technique that serves as a subtle means
of imparting values when they are not there, even though such
action may be tempting. Moreover, it is not intended as a
technique for influencing behavior change, although this is also a
tempting alternative. When used inappropriately, genuineness
disappears and the words sound hollow and mechanical.
When used with appropriate timing and sincerity, directed
reflections usually catch just a little piece of the persons core
beliefs. It is at that core where character and social interest
reside. The directed reflections go beyond merely encouraging
another person. As Messer (2001) explains, we are helping the
individual discover the he/she is a worthwhile human being in
spite of his/her faults and imperfections.

996
Source:
Al Milliren and Linda Maier
Messer, M. (2001). Managing anger. Chicago, IL: Anger Institute.
Messer, m. (1995). The Components of Our Character. Chicago,
IL: Anger Institute.
Milliren, A. P., Evans, T. D., & Newbauer, J. F. (2003). Adlerian
counseling and psychotherapy. In D. Capuzzi, & D. R. Gross,
(Eds.), Counseling and psychotherapy: Theories and
interventions. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Merrill Prentice Hall.
Terner, J. & Pew, W. L. (1978). The courage to be imperfect: The
lifeand work of Rudolf Dreikurs. New York: Hawthorn Books

Relaxation and scripts for self-help, personal change and

fulfilment
I am
I deserve to be, - I want to be, - I can be, - I will be, - I am
If you want to change your life you need to change how you
think and change what you do. Self-help, personal change, being
happy: it's up to you. No-one else.
You decide. This is the first step. Self-help starts with you. Self-
help and personal change starts with your realisation that it
really is in your own hands, and your decision to do something
about it.
Your own self-belief is the key to successful life-change,
achievement, contentment, and happiness.
Your own mind, particularly positive suggestion and
visualisation, will develop your self-belief, and your
determination to make successful change to your life.

997
This page will help you begin to change the way you think, feel
and act.
Visit it any time you want to boost your self-belief, to relax, and
to regain control of your life and direction.
Print this page and put it above your mirror, above your bed,
above your desk, anywhere you'll see it every day.
Make time - actually schedule some time in your planner or diary
to do this. It will dramatically improve your mood, attitude, and
approach to life, and therefore what you get from life.
Positive suggestion and visualisation, combined with deep
relaxation, is an easy way to make powerful positive personal
change.
Just going through this relaxation exercise alone will help to
change and improve the way you feel. If you combine the
relaxation techniques with a repeated script of positive
statements, such as the 'I am' script below, you will begin change
the way you think, and feel, and act, and all that life offers as a
result.
The more you use the relaxation exercise and say or hear the
script, then the greater and more sustainable will be the effect.
The time it takes to change depends on different people. Stick
with it and it will become easier, more natural, more enjoyable,
and it will work.
Relaxation exercise
1. Sit or lie down comfortably. Properly comfortably.
Straighten your back, put your shoulders back to open your
rib-cage.
2. Relax your shoulder muscles particularly. Relax your whole
body, and empty your mind.
3. Close your eyes (obviously open them when you need to
read the next stage).

998
4. Take ten deep, slow breaths. Breathe from the pit of your
stomach and feel your lungs filling.
5. Focus on your breathing. Feel it getting deeper and slower.
Feel yourself relaxing and any tension drifting away.
6. Relax your shoulders and neck again.
7. Visualise yourself being happy, succeeding, winning, being
loved, laughing, feeling good.
8. Relax your forehead, your mouth and your eyes.
9. Allow a gentle smile to appear on your face as you feel a
calmness enter your mind.
10. Then say (out load ideally) the words below (a script for
personal change) to yourself:
I am
I am good person.
I have integrity.
I do what is ethically right and good.
Whatever life puts before me will be useful experience that
will make me stronger, wiser, and more tolerant.
I am strong enough to understand and make allowances for
other people's weaknesses, and their behaviour towards
me. Other people's behaviour is about them, not me.
I focus on the joy of living my life and helping others where
and when I can.
I am what I eat and drink, so I eat and drink good things.
I am what I watch and play and listen, so I watch and play
and listen to good positive things.
I take exercise which I enjoy. I walk when I don't need to
drive or take the bus or train.

999
I smile and laugh whenever I can - life is good - getting
caught in the rain reminds me that it is good to be alive to
feel it.
I forgive other people. Deep down everyone is a good
person, just like me.
I am a compassionate and loving, caring person.
I am a good person.
I am.
Using and changing scripts - what the 'i am' words mean
The 'I am' element alone is a powerful one because it embodies
the sense of self-determination, which nobody and nothing can
ever take away from you, and it emphasises the value of simply
'being'.
We each exist as a person of value and worth in our own right,
irrespective of possessions and achievements. Accepting and
reinforcing this concept is good for each of us. This, at its
simplest level, is what 'I am' means.
"There is wisdom in accepting what you are. It is difficult to be
what you are not. Being what you are doesn't require any effort.
When you become wise, you accept yourself the way you are,
and the complete acceptance of yourself becomes the complete
acceptance of everyone else." (From 'The Mastery of Love' by
Don Miguel Ruiz, with thanks to Allspirit.co.uk)
You can use the relaxation exercise, combined with a script, to
change many aspects of your life and feelings.
You do this by adding, removing, or replacing statements in the
script.
Keep the statements positive and in the present tense.

1000
For example, if you want to be more confident, use a statement
such as 'I am a confident person' rather than 'I will be a more
confident person' or 'I will try to be a more confident person'.
If you want to stop smoking, use a statement such as 'I am a non-
smoker, because I value my life and body' rather than 'I will try
to give up smoking'.
If you do not want to give up smoking, merely to cut down,
adjust the script accordingly, for example: 'I smoke only
five/ten/fifteen cigarettes a day, because this is improving my
health and my life' (better than smoking twenty or thirty day).
If you keep telling your sub-conscious that you 'are', then in time
you will 'be'.
Use script statements that describe yourself as you want to be.
Repeating positive scripts, combined with deep relaxation, will
change your behaviour from deep within.
Making tapes or script recordings
You can increase the ease of using scripts if you make a tape or
CD recording of yourself reading your script. You can then use
the recording any time you want.
Using a recording also means you can relax completely while
listening to the words, with no need to open your eyes to read.
You can also listen to your recorded script at bed-time, before
you go to sleep every night, which is also an effective way to
reach and change your sub-conscious feelings.
Be assured...
Most people judge themselves against entirely artificial criteria.
Material success is not what life is about.
You can change your frame of reference. You do not have to
accept a frame of reference that others have given you.

1001
Many of the most materially 'successful' people are deeply
unhappy, yet they strive and search (unsuccessfully) even harder
for more material success.
Most ordinary good, honest 'being' people are fooled into
believing that what they have is not worth anything. Don't be
fooled.
The answer to happiness and fulfilment is usually found in
achieving a simple acceptance of, and joy of living, a good life.
Enjoy 'being' and living a good life.
Next time you get caught in the rain, or bump the car, or get a
headache - enjoy being alive to feel it and experience it.
(With acknowledgements to Carole Byrd and Buddha Maitreya.)
Source: http://www.businessballs.com/selfbelief.htm

1002
IF - by Rudyard Kipling (1865 1936)
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

1003
4.7 RESOLVING CONFLICT
Kenneth W. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann
PUBLISHED BY CONSULTING PSYCHOLOGISTS PRESS, INC.
Copyright 1974, 2001 by Xicom, Incorporated. Xicom,
Incorporated is a subsidiary of Consulting Psychologists Press,
Inc. All rights reserved.
The Five Conflict-Handling Modes
The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) is designed
to assess an individuals behavior in conflict situations - that is,
situations in which the concerns of two people appear to be
incompatible. In such situations, we can describe a persons
behavior along two basic dimensions: (1) assertiveness, the
extent to which the individual attempts to satisfy his or her own
concerns, and (2) cooperativeness, the extent to which the
individual attempts to satisfy the other persons concerns. These
two basic dimensions of behavior can be used to define five
specific methods of dealing with conflicts. These five "conflict-
handling modes" are shown below.

1004
1. Competing is assertive and uncooperative, a power-oriented
mode. When competing, an individual pursues his or her own
concerns at the other persons expense, using whatever
power seems appropriate to win his or her position.
Competing might mean standing up for your rights, defending
a position you believe is correct, or simply trying to win.
2. Accommodating is unassertive and cooperative - the
opposite of competing. When accommodating, an individual
neglects his or her own concerns to satisfy the concerns of
the other person; there is an element of self-sacrifice in this
mode. Accommodating might take the form of selfless
generosity or charity, obeying another persons order when
you would prefer not to, or yielding to anothers point of
view.
3. Avoiding is unassertive and uncooperative. When avoiding,
an individual does not immediately pursue either his or her
own concerns or those of the other person. He or she does
not address the conflict. Avoiding might take the form of
diplomatically sidestepping an issue, postponing an issue
until a better time, or simply withdrawing from a threatening
situation.
4. Collaborating is both assertive and cooperative - the
opposite of avoiding. When collaborating, an individual
attempts to work with the other person to find a solution that
fully satisfies the concerns of both. It involves digging into an
issue to identify the underlying concerns of the two
individuals and to find an alternative that meets both sets of
concerns. Collaborating between two persons might take the
form of exploring a disagreement to learn from each others
insights, with the goal of resolving some condition that would
otherwise have them competing for resources, or confronting
and trying to find a creative solution to an interpersonal
problem.

1005
5. Compromising is intermediate in both assertiveness and
cooperativeness. When compromising, the objective is to find
an expedient, mutually acceptable solution that partially
satisfies both parties. Compromising falls on a middle ground
between competing and accommodating, giving up more than
competing but less than accommodating. Likewise, it
addresses an issue more directly than avoiding, but doesnt
explore it in as much depth as collaborating. Compromising
might mean splitting the difference, exchanging concessions,
or seeking a quick middle-ground position.
"What is the correct handling mode?"
In the case of conflict-handling behavior, there are no right or
wrong handling modes. All five modes are useful in some
situations: each represents a set of useful social skills. Our
conventional wisdom recognizes, for example, that often "Two
heads are better than one" (Collaborating). But it also says, "Kill
your enemies with kindness" (Accommodating), "Split the
difference" (Compromising), "Leave well enough alone"
(Avoiding), and "Might makes right" (Competing). The
effectiveness of a given conflict-handling mode depends upon
the requirements of the specific conflict situation and the skill
with which you use that mode.
You are capable of using all five conflict-handling modes: you
cannot be characterized as having a single, rigid style of dealing
with conflict. However, it may be possible that you use some
modes more readily than others and therefore tend to rely upon
those modes more heavily. The conflict behaviors you use are the
result of both your personal predispositions and the
requirements of the situations in which you find yourself. Also,
your social skills may lead you to rely upon some conflict
behaviors more or less than others.

1006
 Competing
Uses
When quick, decisive action is vital - for example, in an
emergency
On important issues where unpopular courses of action need
implementing - for example, cost cutting, enforcing unpopular
rules, discipline
On issues vital to company welfare when you know you're right
To protect yourself against people who take advantage of
noncompetitive behavior
Questions to Ask
In some situations, you may wish to ask yourself:
Do you sometimes feel powerless in situations? You may be
unaware of the power you do have, unskilled in its use, or
uncomfortable with the idea of using it. This may hinder your
effectiveness by restricting your influence.
Do you sometimes have trouble taking a firm stand, even when
you see the need? Sometimes concerns for others' feelings or
anxieties about the use of power causes us to vacillate, which
may mean postponing the decision and adding to the suffering
and/or resentment of others.
Accommodating
Uses
When you realize that you are wrong - to allow a better solution
to be considered, to learn from others, and to show that you are
reasonable
When the issue is much more important to the other person than
to yourself - to satisfy the needs of others, and as a goodwill
gesture to help maintain a cooperative relationship

1007
 To build up social credits for later issues that are important to
you
When continued competition would only damage your cause -
when you are outmatched and losing
When preserving harmony and avoiding disruption are especially
important
To aid in the development of your employees by allowing them to
experiment and learn from their own mistakes
Questions to Ask
You may wish to ask yourself:
Do you feel that your ideas and concerns sometimes do not get
the attention they deserve? Deferring too much to the concerns
of others can deprive you of influence, respect, and recognition.
It can also deprive the organization of your potential
contributions.
Is discipline lax? Although discipline for its own sake may be of
little value, there are often rules, procedures, and assignments
whose implementation is crucial for you or the organization.
Avoiding
Uses
When an issue is trivial or of only passing importance, or when
other, more important issues are pressing
When you perceive no chance of satisfying your concerns - for
example, when you have low power or you are frustrated by
something that would be very difficult to change (national
policies, someone's personality structure, and so on)
When the potential costs of confronting a conflict outweigh the
benefits of its resolution
To let people cool down - to reduce tensions to a productive level
and to regain perspective and composure

1008
 When gathering more information outweighs the advantages of
an immediate decision
When others can resolve the conflict more effectively
When the issue seems tangential or symptomatic of another,
more basic issue
Questions to Ask
You may wish to ask yourself:
Do you sometimes find yourself hurting others' feelings or
stirring up hostilities? You may need to exercise more discretion
and tact in framing issues in non-threatening ways.
Do you sometimes feel harried or overwhelmed by a number of
issues? You may need to devote more time to setting priorities-
that is, deciding which issues are relatively unimportant, and
perhaps delegating them to others.
Collaborating
Uses
To find an integrative solution when the concerns of both parties
are too important to be compromised
When your objective is to learn - for example, testing your own
assumptions, understanding the views of others
To merge insights from people with different perspectives on a
problem
To gain commitment by incorporating others' concerns into a
consensual decision
To work through hard feelings that have been interfering with an
interpersonal relationship
Questions to Ask
You may wish to ask yourself:

1009
 Is it difficult for you to see differences as opportunities for joint
gain - that is, as opportunities to learn or solve problems?
Although conflict situations often involve threatening or
unproductive aspects, approaching all such situations with
pessimism can prevent you from seeing collaborative
possibilities and thus deprive you of the mutual gains and
satisfactions that accompany successful collaboration.
Are your employees uncommitted to your decisions or policies?
Perhaps their concerns are not being incorporated into those
decisions or policies.
Compromising
Uses
When goals are moderately important but not worth the effort or
the potential disruption involved in using more assertive modes
When two opponents with equal power are strongly committed
to mutually exclusive goals - as in labor-management bargaining
To achieve temporary settlement of complex issues
To arrive at an expedient solution under time pressure
As a backup mode when collaboration or competition fails
Questions to Ask
You may wish to ask yourself:
Do you find yourself too sensitive or embarrassed to be effective
in some bargaining situations?
Do you sometimes find it difficult to make concessions? Without
this safety valve, you may have trouble gracefully getting out of
mutually destructive arguments, power struggles, and so on.
Of the five modes described in the matrix, only the strategy
employing collaboration as a mode of conflict management breaks
free of the win-lose paradigm. It has become almost habitual to fall
back on the win-win alternative, but this was not the authors'

1010
original intention. They did not reject win-lose configurations out
of hand. Instead, strategic considerations for managing conflict
according to varied circumstances were identified. For instance, in
a conflict centered on bids by two alternative suppliers, the best
choice might well be a competing strategy with a winner and loser.
After all, the objective in such a situation is to win the contract for
one's own company. In most cases, winning the contract can be
accomplished only at the expense of the competing supplier, who
by definition becomes the loser.
In contrast, a competing approach almost never works well in the
interpersonal conflict of people working in the same office. Unlike
the case of competing suppliers, coworkersboth the winner and
the losermust go on working together. Indeed, in many conflicts
revolving around office politics, an accommodating strategy may
actually enable individuals to strengthen their future negotiating
position through allowing themselves to lose in conflicts over
issues they do not feel particularly strongly about. In such
situations, accommodating can be seen as a form of winning
through losing.
Source:
http://www.referenceforbusiness.com/management/Comp-
De/Conflict-Management-and-Negotiation.html

1011
THE FIVE A'S TECHNIQUE
Borisoff and Victor identify five steps in the conflict management
process that they call the "five A's" of conflict management:
assessment, acknowledgement, attitude, action, and analysis.
They assert that these five steps allow for a sustained, ongoing
process of problem-solving-oriented conflict management.
ASSESSMENT.
In the assessment step, the parties involved collect appropriate
information regarding the problem. The parties involved also
choose which of the conflict-handling modes is most appropriate
for the situation. The parties collectively decide what is and what
is not central to the problem. The parties involved also indicate
areas in which they may be willing to compromise, and what
each party actually wants.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT.
The acknowledgement step is one in which each party attempts
to hear out the other. Acknowledgement allows both parties to
build the empathy needed for the motivation of a synergistic
solution to the problem. The acknowledgement acts as feedback
to the other party and it demonstrates that one understands
(without necessarily agreeing with) the other party's position.
Acknowledgement goes beyond merely responding to what is
said, however; it involves actively encouraging the other party to
openly communicate its concerns. This is aided by the use of
active listening techniques and overt, nonverbal encouragement.
ATTITUDE.
The attitude step tries to remove the foundation for pseudo-
conflict. Stereotypical assumptions about different, culturally-
based behaviors are uncovered. For example, a member of a
high-context culture may misinterpret what a member of a low-
context culture says as being needlessly blunt or even rude.

1012
Conversely, a member of a low-context culture may misinterpret
what a person from a high-context culture says as being
needlessly indirect or even outright deceptive. Such
communication variations (as the works of Edward Hall have
explained) have little to do with the actual intent or content of
the messages, but represent instead culturally learned
approaches to using implicit versus explicit communication
styles. Similarly, in the attitude step, one acknowledges
differences in the way that men and women are generally
conditioned to communicate. Experts such as Borisoff and
Merrill, for example, have delineated clearly differentiated
communication styles between men and women, which are
compounded by sex-trait stereotyping regarding issues of
assertiveness, interruptive behavior, and perceptions of
politeness. Finally, in the attitude step, one analyzes potentially
problematic variations in styles of writing, speaking, and
nonverbal mannerisms. Such differences may blur meanings. It is
the role of the effective conflict participant to maintain an open
mind toward all parties involved.
ACTION.
The action step begins to actively implement the chosen conflict-
handling mode. If the selected mode is the problem-solving
approach, the manager conveys the opportunity for a conflict
resolution based on trust and ongoing feedback on those points
on which the parties have already agreed. Simultaneously, each
individual evaluates the behavior of the other parties (often,
little more than subtle hints) to ascertain where potential
trouble spots might arise. Also, each individual must remain
aware of his or her own communication style and general
behavior. Finally, all parties must stay alert to new issues that
are raised and look for productive solutions.

1013
 ANALYSIS.
In this last step participants decide on what they will do, and
then summarize and review what they have agreed upon. Part of
the analysis step is to ascertain whether every participant's
requirements have been addressed (and met, if possible). Finally,
the analysis step initiates the impetus for approaching conflict
management as an ongoing process. Analysis enables
participants to monitor both the short-term and long-term
results of the conflict resolution.
QUANTUM SKILLS
Shelton and Darling suggest a new set of management skills,
more appropriate for the ever-changing, conflict-ridden
contemporary organization. They refer to these skills as the
quantum skills. The suggested managerial skills are derived from
the field of quantum physics. They are as follows:
1. Quantum seeing. This skill is defined as the ability to see
intentionally. When conflict occurs, managers must explore their
own assumptions about the parties and search for the
underlying intentions that are creating the conflict. Each party
must then come to recognize the relationship between individual
thought processes and perceptions, and set clear intentions for
positively resolving the situation.
2. Quantum thinking. This skill involves the ability to think
paradoxically. Effective conflict resolution is a paradoxical
process. "Win-win solutions require paradoxical thinking. They
require the ability to find a fully acceptable solution to divergent
points of view" (Shelton and Darling 2004, p. 30). In other words,
collaborative solutions to conflicts that involve diametrically-
opposed positions are unlikely to be achieved through linear
problem-solving processes and thus require more unorthodox
thinking.

1014
3. Quantum feeling. This skill is defined as the ability to feel vitally
alive. It is based on the premise that the level of organizational
conflict is influenced by the negative emotions pervasive
throughout the business world. As schedules have become more
fast-paced and jobs have become more stressful, the level of
organizational conflict has increased. Managers committed to the
quantum feeling technique of conflict management must train
themselves to view even negative events positively. They must
challenge all parties in conflict to utilize creative, brain-storming
techniques in an effort to construct "impossible" win-win
solutions.
4. Quantum knowing. This skill is the ability to know intuitively.
Managers wishing to develop this skill must integrate times of
relaxation and reflection into their work routines. This skill
focuses on staying mindful or aware of the organizational
environment. Managers involved in conflict situations must
guide all parties towards a more centered response to the
negative emotions.
5. Quantum acting. This skill is based on the ability to act
responsibly. Quantum acting is predicated on the belief that
everything in the universe is a part of a complex whole in which
each part is influenced by every other part. Therefore, a
manager's thoughts affect the entire organizational unit. Thus, if
managers want to encourage more creative responses to conflict,
they must begin by modeling this behavior themselves.
6. Quantum trusting. This skill is the ability to trust life's process. It
is derived from chaos theory. This theory suggests that without
chaos organizations will become stagnant and, if left alone, they
will return to a nonchaotic state. This skill may be appealing to
managers experiencing conflict. It suggests that managers must
simply "ride the rapids of conflict, fully participating in the dance
without attempting to actively manage the course of resolution"

1015
 (Shelton and Darling 2004, p. 37). The organizational unit will
eventually self-organize.
7. Quantum being. This skill is the ability to be in a relationship,
specifically, "the ability to literally become so connected to
another that one can see the world through the other's eyes"
(Shelton and Darling 2004, p.38). This skill provides the
foundation for all parties to learn from and understand each
other. It is a relationship of continuous learning.
This set of skills is grounded in a new science: worldview. These
skills provide a whole-brained alternative for managing people
and conflict.
Conflict management is an ongoing procedure. It entails
continual communication and supervision. "Conflict-handling
behavior is not a static procedure; rather it is a process that
requires flexibility and constant evaluation to truly be
productive and effective" (Borisoff and Victor 1998).

Source:
David A. Victor - Revised by Patricia A. Lanier
http://www.referenceforbusiness.com/management/Comp-
De/Conflict-Management-and-Negotiation.html

1016
4.8 RECOGNIZING DYSFUNCTIONAL
PERSONALITY TYPES
Signs that Indicate You are Dealing with Dysfunctional
People
*After spending time with them, you feel fogged -- like you
arent thinking clearly.
*You thought you were thinking correctly about a situation, but
after being with them, you now feel your approach to life is being
questioned.
*You feel blamed for another persons situation.
*You feel responsible to fix a situation that is a result of
another persons (repetitive) choices.
*You feel if you were a good person you maybe should help
them out.
*You are concerned about how innocent people (e.g. children)
will suffer from the poor choices made by another person.
*Other people are mad at you because you wont help them out
(just this once!).
*You are being blamed for being unreasonable and insensitive to
their situation.
*You have been in this situation before (or one very similar to it)
with this person. Probably previously you helped them out and
they are in the same predicament again.
*You are concerned that if you dont rescue them from their
current situation, the consequences are so significant that it may
ruin their life in the future.

1017
*You feel pressured to make an immediate decision to help out,
even though the problem has been developing for quite a while.
*You feel smothered; the other person wants to get too close
too soon or they cut off the relationship totally for seemingly
little slights.
How to Deal with Dysfunctional People
*Understand that you will feel blamed or responsible for
whatever the problem is.
*Accept that you cannot change the other person (their thoughts,
viewpoint, ways of behaving or their choices.)
*Set boundaries: what you are and are not willing to do.
*Talk with and get support from others whom you believe are
functional.
*Do not accept false guilt from the dysfunctional person. The
whole problem is not your fault and it is not your responsibility
to fix the problem.
*When necessary, minimize ongoing contact and interaction with
the dysfunctional party.
*Realize that the current crisis is probably not a crisis and they
can live through it.
*Remember that if you help them out this time, you will be
expected to help them out again.

2011 Paul E. White, Ph.D.

http://www.birminghamepc.org/Birmingham-
AL/Library/Dysfunctional%20people%20.pdf
Estate Planning Council of Birmingham, Inc.

1018
Key Differences between Functional & Dysfunctional
Individuals
Functional Dysfunctional
Honesty, Integrity Deceit, Not telling the whole story
Direct Communication Indirect Communication
(talking through others)
Responsibility Privileges Sense of Entitlement
Accept responsibility Blame others, Make excuses
For choices & results
Delay gratification Have to meet desires now
Live in reality Escape from reality (TV, movies,
on day to day basis videogames, drugs, alcohol, sleep)
Save, do without Spend, go into debt
Learn from mistakes Expect to be rescued from choices
Forgive & Hold on to grudges, Revenge
let go of past hurts
Keep commitments Make verbal commitments with
no follow-through
Say what they mean Hidden agendas
Being real Focus on image & appearance
Can disagree without Disagreement leads to anger,
Gettinh personal personal attacks & hatred
Appropriate personal Smother others, try to be too close
boundaries too soon
They let you be you. Use guilt to manipulate.

1019
How to Deal With a Neurotic Person
By Bridgett Michele Lawrence, eHow Contributor
Understanding neurosis is essential to dealing with a neurotic
individual.

Most people are

accused of
displaying
neurotic
behavior at one
time or another.
But some people
exhibit neurotic
disorders that
impact normal,
everyday life.
"Neurotic
disorder" is a
term used to
describe a wide
range of
circumstances
that cause a
person to have
an inability to
adapt to a certain
situation or
environment.

People with neurotic disorders exhibit symptoms such as

anxiety, depression, extreme phobias and insecurity.
Understanding these neurotic disorders is key to learning how to
deal with a neurotic person.

1020
How to Deal With a Neurotic Person

1. Be tolerant and patient. Remember that the neurotic

behavior is most likely a coping mechanism that the person
uses to deal with a much larger issue. Being impatient with a
neurotic person will only cause strife and make the situation
worse.
2. Don't be overly critical. In many cases, a neurotic person
knows when she is being neurotic but is unable to change her
behavior. Many neurotic people are extremely self-critical
already, so you don't need to be.
3. Give him space. If you find yourself in an argument with a
neurotic person, it is futile to argue with him in the heat of
the moment. In many cases, the argument stems from a
larger issue about which you may know nothing. Wait until
he has calmed down before approaching him about the
situation. Discuss the issue in a calm tone, using language
that is not offensive. For example, avoid calling him names or
pointing out his personal flaws that lead to the conflict.
Instead, seek to find a compromise that will satisfy both
parties.
4. Encourage her to seek help. Many people with neurotic
personalities don't seek help because of embarrassment,
pride, fear or the belief that no one will understand or be able
to help. This could not be further from the truth. Help exists
for those who seek it. Psychotherapy is the form of treatment
used to help people overcome neurosis. Therapists
encourage patients to discuss the situation that brings on
neurotic behavior. With therapy, she can find the source of
her problem and develop strategies to help her cope.

1021
4.9 DEALING WITH DIFFICULT
PEOPLE
http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Impossible-People
Most people with personality disorders have what is sometimes
referred to as "disorders of the self," because they often dont
believe that there is anything wrong with them. They think, This
is me, or This is the way I have always been, and self-
preservation makes them want to stay that way. Personality
disordered people are the ones who usually come to mind when
we think of the term, toxic person. Here are some insights and
steps for dealing with these highly difficult - even, impossible -
people
Steps
1. Recognize that impossible people exist; there isn't a
thing you can do about it. The first step is all about facing
reality: if you think you might be dealing with an impossible
person, you're probably right. When in doubt, proceed as
instructed below. The headaches you save will be your own.
2. Do not call them out because it will frustrate them. They
could become more difficult, but just stand your ground and
be confident.
3. Be aware that some people simply aren't compatible.
Sometimes, a person who gets along with everybody else
quite well is an impossible person for you personally. Most
relationships between people contain many shades of gray,
but some people simply mix as well as oil and water. It is
common to hear your impossible person proclaim that
"Everyone else likes me." This is an attempt to shift the blame
to you, so don't buy it. It doesn't matter how this person
interacts with others. The fact is, the way the two of you

1022
 interact together is terrible. Remember that blame never
changes the facts.
4. Understand that it's not you, it's them. This can be
surprisingly difficult, considering that impossible people
have complete mastery of blaming skills. Chances are, the
more often they blame you, the more they themselves are
actually at fault. Keep in mind that this is not to be used as a
way to blame them. Blaming is what impossible people do,
and they do it well. Instead, you are only facing the facts, for
your own sake. That being said, here's a simple way to tell: if
you accept responsibility for your own faults and resolve to
improve yourself, it's probably not you. Remember,
impossible people "can do no wrong."
5. Defuse them. Stay calm, don't spit angry words at them, and
whatever you do don't cry - this will only stimulate them to
do more of the difficult behavior. Try ignoring them. Do not,
under any circumstances, join them in bashing, blaming or
complaining. Do not bad talk to their face or to anyone else
because then you are sinking down to their level. Add
something positive. Redirect by focusing on something,
anything, positive in the situation or in the conversation.
Whatever you do just stay calm!
6. It can help to realize that the side of a conversation that
contains the most truth will always win out, and it's best to
"name the game" that an impossible person is playing,
usually by asking them or the group a question that starts
"Why...," (rephrasing their "impossible" position to illuminate
the consequences). You will move the conversation to a
higher level, and the group, or even just the impossible
individual, in a one-on-one, will respond to this "higher
truth," although the individual will usually respond by
(more) obfuscating.

1023
 Avoid one-on-ones with this type of person, actively; in other
words, when you see them coming to corner you, suggest,
and then demand that at least a third party be brought in.
This will often thwart the impossible person's plans, and a
typical response from them will be to unilaterally decide that
"we don't need anyone else." You are perfectly free to claim
your need for a third party to help your understanding, and
insist upon it. Bullies never stand up to a crowd.
7. Realize that you cannot deal with impossible people the
same way you deal with everyone else. In some ways, they
need to be treated like children. Give up all hope of engaging
these folks in any kind of reasonable conversation. It will
never happen, at least with you. Remember what happened
the last fifty times you tried to have a civilized discussion
about the status of your relationship with this person.
Chances are, every such attempt ended in you being blamed
for everything. Decide now to quit banging your head against
a brick wall.
8. Protect your self-esteem. If you have regular dealings with
someone who tries to portray you as the source of all evil,
you need to take active steps to maintain a positive self-
image. Remind yourself that this person's opinion is not
necessarily the truth. Understand that oftentimes, impossible
people are particularly "fact-challenged." If the attacks have
little basis in raw fact, dismiss them. You can't possibly be as
bad as this person would like you to believe you are. Do not
defend yourself out loud, however. It will only provoke the
impossible person into another tirade.
9. Guard against anger. If it helps, consider the fact that your
anger is actually a precious gift to the impossible person.
Anything you do or say while angry will be used against you
over and over again. Impossible people tend to have amazing
memories, and they will not hesitate to use a nearly endless

1024
 laundry list of complaints from the past against you. Five
years from now, you could be hearing about the angry
remark you made today (which you didn't even mean in the
first place). Impossible people will seize anything that
provides them the opportunity to lay blame like it was gold.
10. Give up self-defense. Understand very clearly that you
cannot beat these kinds of people; they're called "impossible"
for a reason. In their minds, you are the source of all
wrongdoing, and nothing you can say is going to make them
consider your side of the story. Your opinion is of no
consequence, because you are already guilty, no matter what.
11. Understand that eventually, you and the impossible
person will have to part ways. Whether they are a friend, a
family member, a parent, even a spouse, the time to leave will
eventually manifest. Maintaining a relationship with an
impossible person is, literally, impossible. If you can't (or
won't) make a physical departure immediately, make a
mental one. In your mind, you've already left the relationship.
The only thing left to do is wait for physical reality to reflect
that fact.
12. Avoid letting the impossible person make you into a
"clone" of them. If you aren't careful, you could find yourself
adopting much of the offender's own behavior, even if you
aren't voluntarily trying. Eschew blame entirely by
understanding that this is just the way the other person is.
These things define the impossible person's actions, and
nothing you do can change any part of their past.
13. Be a manager. Until it is over, your task in the relationship is
to manage the impossible person, so that he or she deals less
damage to you. As a manager, your best resources are silence
(it really is golden in some cases such as this), humoring the
other, and abandoning all hope of "fixing" the impossible
person. Impossible people do not listen to reason. They can't

1025
 (and even if they could, they wouldn't). You can't convince
them that they have any responsibility for the problems
between you. They don't recognize (or if they did, wouldn't
try to improve) their flaws for a very logical reason; they
don't have any flaws. You must understand and manage this
mindset without casting blame and without giving in to
anger. It's far easier said than done, and you will slip from
time to time, but as time goes on, you'll become a better
manager.
14. Realize that impossible people engage in projection.
Understand that you are going to be accused of much (or all)
of this behavior yourself. If your impossible person gets a
look at this text, to them it will look like a page about you.
Prepare yourself for the fact that the impossible person's
flaws and failings will always be attributed to you.
Remember, in their minds, you are at fault for everything!
They will have an endless supply of arguments to support
this, and if you make the mistake of encouraging them, they
will be more than happy to tell you why you are the
impossible person, and how ironic it is that you are under the
mistaken impression that it is them.
15. Be the opposite of them: a possible person. Live as an
example of tolerance, patience, humility, and even some
kindness (as difficult as that may be). We are all influenced
by the people in our environment--they don't have to be
perfect all the time and neither do you. Give respect because
you are human. If you don't receive respect, that's -sadly-
their problem. Give understanding, and you get
understanding. Ultimately this sort of behavior is probably
the only thing that might get through to them. They may not
change in everything, but you can safely expect a change.
16. Don't try to fight back and spit anger back to them.

1026
Photo: Stock Photo
Can you recall the last time you had to deal with a negative or
difficult person? Or the last time someone said something with
the intention of hurting you? How did you handle it? What was
the result? What can you do in the future to get through these
situations with peace and grace?
No matter where we go, we will face people who are negative,
people who oppose our ideas, people who piss us off or people
who simply do not like us. There are 6.4 billion people out there
and conflict is a fact of life. This fact isnt the cause of conflict but
it is the trigger to our emotions and our emotions are what drive
us back to our most basic survival instinct; react and attack back
to defend ourselves.
In these instinctual moments, we may lose track of our higher
selves and become the human animal with an urge to protect
ourselves when attacked. This too is natural. However, we are
the only animal blessed with intelligence and having the ability
to control our responses. So how can we do that?
I regularly get asked How do you deal with the negative
comments about your articles? They are brutal. I dont think I
could handle them. My answer is simple, I dont let it bother me
to begin with. It wasnt always this simple, and took me some
time before overcoming this natural urgency to protect myself
and attack back.

1027
I know its not easy, if it was easy, there wouldnt be difficult or
negative people to begin with.
Why Bother Controlling Our Responses?
1. Hurting Ourselves
One of my favorite sayings is Holding a grudge against someone
is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
The only person we hurt is ourselves. When we react to
negativity, we are disturbing our inner space and mentally
creating pain within ourselves.
2. Its Not About You, Its About Them
Ive learned that when people initiate negativity, it is a reflection
of their inner state expressed externally and you just happen to
be in front of that expression. Its not personal, so why do we
take it personally? In short: Because our ego likes problems and
conflict. People are often so bored and unhappy with their own
lives that they want to take others down with them.
3. Battle of the Ego
When we respond impulsively, it is a natural and honest
response. However, is it the smart thing to do? What can be
resolved by doing so? The answer: Nothing. It does however feed
our egos need for conflict.
Have you noticed that when we fight back, it feels really
satisfying in our heads? But it doesnt feel very good in our soul?
Our stomach becomes tight, and we start having violent
thoughts?
When we do respond irrationally, it turns the conversation from
a one-sided negative expression into a battle of two egos. It
becomes an unnecessary and unproductive battle for Who is
Right?

1028
4. Anger Feeds Anger. Negativity Feeds Negativity.
Rarely can any good come out of reacting against someone who
is in a negative state. It will only trigger anger and an additional
reactive response from that person. If we do respond
impulsively, well have invested energy in the defending of
ourselves and well feel more psychologically compelled to
defend ourselves going forward.
Have you noticed that the angrier our thoughts become, the
angrier we become? Its a negative downward spiral.
5. Waste of Energy
Where attention goes, energy flows. What we focus on tends to
expand itself. Since we can only focus on one thing at a time,
energy spent on negativity is energy that could have been spent
on our personal wellbeing.
6. Negativity Spreads
Ive found that once I allow negativity in one area of my life, it
starts to subtly bleed into other areas as well. When we are in a
negative state or holding a grudge against someone, we dont feel
very good. We carry that energy with us as we go about our day.
When we dont feel very good, we lose sight of clarity and may
react unconsciously to matters in other areas of our lives,
unnecessarily.
7. Freedom of Speech
People are as entitled to their opinions as you are. Allow them to
express how they feel and let it be. Remember that its all relative
and a matter of perspective. What we consider positive can be
perceived by another as negative. When we react, it becomes me-
versus-you, who is right?
Some people may have a less than eloquent way of expressing
themselves it may even be offensive, but they are still entitled
to do so. They have the right to express their own opinions and

1029
we have the right and will power to choose our responses. We
can choose peace or we can choose conflict.
15 Tips for Dealing with Difficult People
While Ive had a lot of practice dealing with negativity, it is
something I find myself having to actively work on. When Im
caught off guard and end up resorting to a defensive position, the
result rarely turns out well.
The point is, we are humans after all, and we have emotions and
egos. However, by keeping our egos in-check and inserting
emotional intelligence, well not only be doing a favor for our
health and mental space, but well also have intercepted a
situation that would have gone bad, unnecessarily.

Photo by Kara Pecknold

Here are some tips for dealing with a difficult person or negative
message:
1. Forgive
What would the Dali Lama do if he was in the situation? He
would most likely forgive. Remember that at our very core, we
are good, but our judgment becomes clouded and we may say
hurtful things. Ask yourself, What is it about this situation or
person that I can seek to understand and forgive?

1030
2. Wait it Out
Sometimes I feel compelled to instantly send an email defending
myself. Ive learned that emotionally charged emails never get us
the result we want; they only add oil to the fire. What is helpful is
inserting time to allow ourselves to cool off. You can write the
emotionally charged email to the person, just dont send it off.
Wait until youve cooled off before responding, if you choose to
respond at all.
3. Does it really matter if I am right?
Sometimes we respond with the intention of defending the side
we took a position on. If you find yourself arguing for the sake of
being right, ask Does it matter if I am right? If yes, then ask
Why do I need to be right? What will I gain?
4. Dont Respond
Many times when a person initiates a negative message or
difficult attitude, they are trying to trigger a response from you.
When we react, we are actually giving them what they want.
Lets stop the cycle of negative snowballing and sell them short
on what theyre looking for; dont bother responding.
5. Stop Talking About It
When you have a problem or a conflict in your life, dont you find
that people just love talking about it? We end up repeating the
story to anyone wholl listen. We express how much we hate the
situation or person. What we fail to recognize in these moments
is that the more we talk about something, the more of that thing
well notice.
Example, the more we talk about how much we dislike a person,
the more hate we will feel towards them and the more well
notice things about them that we dislike. Stop giving it energy,
stop thinking about it, and stop talking about it. Do your best to
not repeat the story to others.

1031
6. Be In Their Shoes
As clich as this may sound, we tend to forget that we become
blind-sided in the situation. Try putting yourself in their position
and consider how you may have hurt their feelings. This
understanding will give you a new perspective on becoming
rational again, and may help you develop compassion for the
other person.
7. Look for the Lessons
No situation is ever lost if we can take away from it some lessons
that will help us grow and become a better person. Regardless of
how negative a scenario may appear, there is always a hidden
gift in the form of a lesson. Find the lesson(s).
8. Choose to Eliminate Negative People In Your Life
Negative people can be a source of energy drain. And deeply
unhappy people will want to bring you down emotionally, so that
they are not down there alone. Be aware of this. Unless you have
a lot of time on your hands and do not mind the energy drain, I
recommend that you cut them off from your life.
Cut them out by avoiding interactions with them as much as
possible. Remember that you have the choice to commit to being
surrounded by people who have the qualities you admire:
optimistic, positive, peaceful and encouraging people. As Kathy
Sierra said, Be around the change you want to see in the world.
9. Become the Observer
When we practice becoming the observer of our feelings, our
thoughts and the situation, we separate ourselves away from the
emotions. Instead of identifying with the emotions and letting
them consume us, we observe them with clarity and detachment.
When you find yourself identifying with emotions and thoughts,
bring your focus on your breathe.

1032
10. Go for a Run
or a swim, or some other workout. Physical exercise can help
to release the negative and excess energy in us. Use exercise as a
tool to clear your mind and release built up negative energy.
11. Worst Case Scenario
Ask yourself two questions,
1. If I do not respond, what is the worst thing that can result
from it?
2. If I do respond, what is the worst thing that can result from
it?
Answering these questions often adds perspectives to the
situation, and youll realize that nothing good will come out of
reacting. Your energy will be wasted, and your inner space
disturbed.
12. Avoid Heated Discussions
When were emotionally charged, we are so much in our heads
that we argue out of an impulse to be right, to defend ourselves,
for the sake of our egos. Rationality and resolution can rarely
arise out of these discussions. If a discussion is necessary, wait
until everyone has cooled off before diving into one.
13. Most Important
List out things in your life most important to you. Then ask
yourself, Will a reaction to this person contribute to the things
that matter most to me?
14. Pour Honey
This doesnt always work, but sometimes catches people off
guard when theyre trying to Pour Poison on you. Compliment
the other person for something they did well, tell them youve

1033
learned something new through interacting with them, and
maybe offer to become friends. Remember to be genuine. You
might have to dig deep to find something that you appreciate
about this person.
15. Express It
Take out some scrap paper and dump all the random and
negative thoughts out of you by writing freely without editing.
Continue to do so until you have nothing else to say. Now, roll
the paper up into a ball, close your eyes and visualize that all the
negative energy is now inside that paper ball. Toss the paper ball
in the trash. Let it go!
http://thinksimplenow.com/happiness/dealing-with-difficult-
people/
About the Author:
Tina Su is a mom, a wife, a lover of Apple
products and a CHO (Chief Happiness Officer)
for our motivational community: Think Simple
Now. She is obsessed with encouraging and
empowering people to lead conscious and
happy lives.

1034
The following are tips for dealing with difficult people who
are in your life, for better or for worse:
1. Keep Conversations Neutral Avoid discussing divisive and
personal issues, like religion and politics, or other issues
that tend to cause conflict. If the other person tries to
engage you in a discussion that will probably become an
argument, change the subject or leave the room.
2. Accept The Reality of Who They Are In dealing with
difficult people, dont try to change the other person; you
will only get into a power struggle, cause defensiveness,
invite criticism, or otherwise make things worse. It also
makes you a more difficult person to deal with.
3. Know What's Under Your Control Change your response to
the other person; this is all you have the power to change.
For example, dont feel you need to accept abusive behavior.
You can use assertive communication to draw boundaries
when the other person chooses to treat you in an
unacceptable way.
4. Create Healthier Patterns Remember that most
relationship difficulties are due to a dynamic between two
people rather than one person being unilaterally "bad."
Chances are good that you're repeating the same patterns of
interaction over and over; changing your response could get
you out of this rut, and responding in a healthy way can
improve your chances of a healthier pattern forming. Heres
a list of things to avoid in dealing with conflict. Do you do
any of them? Also, here are some healthy communication
skills to remember.
5. See The Best In People Try to look for the positive aspects
of others, especially when dealing with family, and focus on
them. (Developing your optimism and reframin skills can

1035
 help here!) The other person will feel more appreciated, and
you will likely enjoy your time together more.
6. Remember Who You're Dealing With Seeing the best in
someone is important; however, dont pretend the other
persons negative traits dont exist. Dont tell your secrets to
a gossip, rely on a flake, or look for affection from someone
who isnt able to give it. This is part of accepting them for
who they are.
7. Get Support Where You Can Find It Get your needs met
from others who are able to meet your needs. Tell your
secrets to a trustworthy friend who's a good listener, or
process your feelings through journaling, for example. Rely
on people who have proven themselves to be trustworthy
and supportive, or find a good therapist if you need one.
This will help you and the other person by taking pressure
off the relationship and removing a source of conflict.
8. Let Go Or Get Space If You Need It Know when its time to
distance yourself, and do so. If the other person cant be
around you without antagonizing you, minimizing contact
may be key. If theyre continually abusive, it's best to cut ties
and let them know why. Explain what needs to happen if
there ever is to be a relationship, and let it go. (If the
offending party is a boss or co-worker, you may consider
switching jobs.)
Tips:
1. Try not to place blame on yourself or the other person for the
negative interactions. It may just be a case of your two
personalities fitting poorly.
2. Remember that you don't have to be close with everyone;
just being polite goes a long way toward getting along and
appropriately dealing with difficult people.

1036
3. Work to maintain a sense of humor -- difficulties will roll off
your back much more easily. Shows like "Modern Family and
books like David Sedaris' Naked can help you see the humor
in dealing with difficult people.
4. Be sure to cultivate other more positive relationships in your
life to offset the negativity of dealing with difficult people.
Elizabeth Scott, M.S.
Stress Management Guide

1037
Dealing with Difficult People
November 20th, 2004 by Steve Pavlina
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2004/11/dealing-with-
difficult-people/
How do you deal with difficult, irrational, or abusive people,
especially those in positions of authority who have some degree
of control over your life?
Ive never met a totally rational human being. Our ability to store
and process information is far too imperfect for that. But our
emotions are a shortcut. The book Emotional Intelligence by
Daniel Goleman describes people diagnosed with alexathemia,
the condition whereby people either dont feel emotions or are
completely out of touch with their emotions. Youd think such
people would be hyper-rational, but they arent. They cant even
function in society. They have no emotional context for deciding
whats important to them, so earning a dime is just as important
as earning a million dollars. Theyll spend hours on tasks others
would consider trivialities, like deciding what time to schedule a
dentist appointment. Our emotions are a logical shortcut we
feel the difference between the relevant and the irrelevant.
On to dealing with difficult or irrational people
I certainly havent been sheltered from such people, even though
Ive only been an employee for a total of six months of my life
when I was in college. Theyre everywhere! Ive still had to deal
with irrational/abusive people in business deals, landlords, etc.
But such people rarely get to me because of how I deal with them
on two levels:
1) There was a story about the Buddha where a verbally abusive
man came to see him and starting hurling insults. But the
Buddha just sat there calmly. Finally the man asked the Buddha
why he failed to respond to the insults and abuse. The Buddha

1038
replied, If someone offers you a gift, and you decline to accept it,
to whom does the gift belong? If someone is irrational, abusive,
etc., you can mentally decline to accept the gift. Let that person
keep their anger and insanity, and dont let it affect you. This
takes practice, but there are many mental imagery techniques
that can help. I usually visualize the anger as a red energy that
bounces off me or passes through me and simply returns to the
source. This is a message to my subconscious mind to
acknowledge that the anger belongs completely to the other
person. So this part tackles the other persons effect on my
emotional state. And it works very well. I never lose my cool
unless Im doing it on purpose for some specific reason.
Sometimes its better to respond to an angry person with some
shouting of your own and then slowly bring them back down. I
also mentally acknowledge that its probably a lack of love and
happiness in their life that causes them to behave as they do.
2) Now that youve gotten your emotions handled, you still have
to deal with the practicalities of this person and their effect on
your life. Sometimes its enough to just manage your emotions,
but other times that isnt enough you need to take action to
address the situation. In this case I use my logic and intelligence
to decide what to do, depending on the specifics of the situation.
Its like playing a game of chess if I do this, then how will this
person react? Even with irrational and hurtful people, their
behavior is often predictable to some degree if you know a little
about them. Human behavior is purposeful, but it can be hard to
figure out the other persons intentions. Use what you do know
to anticipate their responses to various possible actions you
might take. Your information may be imperfect, but do the best
you can. Think of it as an exercise in risk management. Here are
some possible actions:
Remove the person from your life. This is a bit extreme, but
sometimes its the best option. If your landlord is really bad,
consider moving. If your boss or coworkers are terrible, leave.

1039
 Many years ago I once told a friend I could no longer continue
to have him in my life because he was deeply into software
piracy, and I just didnt want that kind of influence in my life.
Confront the person about his/her behavior directly. Raise
your standards for what youre willing to accept in your life,
and enforce them. This strategy is my personal favorite, but
some people arent comfortable with it. The advantage of this
approach is that you stop playing games, and you find out
exactly where you stand with the other person. This is what Id
use if I had a difficult boss or coworker Id just lay
everything out on the table with that person, explain why
certain things were no longer tolerable for me, and detail what
I wanted to see happen. Now the other person may decline
your demands, but then at least you know where you stand
and can decide based on that. Paint a line, and if the other
person crosses it, you now know the abuse is willful.
Use behavioral conditioning on the other person. I know of
a team that did this with their verbally abusive boss. They
conditioned their boss to be encouraging and supportive.
Going to their boss and confronting him just didnt work, so
they got together and worked out a behavioral conditioning
strategy. They stopped rewarding his negative behavior and
began rewarding his positive behavior. Whenever he was
abusive, he would either be ignored, or his employee(s) would
say, Are you intending to manipulate me through verbal
abuse? They would constantly point out to their boss when he
was being abusive. But whenever he was the least bit
encouraging, like if he said, good work or thank you, theyd
thank him for his kindness and encouragement. Within a few
weeks, this boss had completely turned around. I wrote a
previous entry on behavioral conditioning techniques, so there
are other ways to gently change another person. But this
assumes you have enough leverage on the person.

1040
 Get leverage, and use that leverage to force action. This can
be risky, but sometimes its the best option. You might need to
see if you can get another person fired if they really are hurting
productivity. In software companies it isnt uncommon for a
team to petition management to fire a weak member thats
holding them back. I use this a lot myself when dealing with
difficult people in business in cases of willful misconduct. You
contact everyone who does business with that person to let
them know whats happening. And if its a big enough deal,
throw in local govt reps and members of the press too. You
might think of this as the whistleblower strategy.
Let it go. Sometimes this is the best option if someone injures
you in some way. Just let it go and move on.
Theres a deeper issue here too Are the reasons youre allowing
this difficult person to remain in your life valid? For example, if
you make money a higher priority than quality of life, then how
can you complain when you get the former but sacrifice the
latter?
I think people often have a hard time making quality of life a high
enough priority were taught to just suck it up and tolerate it if
we have a difficult boss (and then die of a heart attack or stroke).
The one time I was an employee, I didnt particularly like my
boss; he behaved like a jerk and didnt seem too bright either.
But I also figured that if I was a lifelong employee, I might have
other bosses like this too, and it wouldnt always be convenient
to quit. So I decided not to be an employee. Then when I worked
with retail game publishers, I encountered dishonesty and
incompetence, and this was so common that I felt it would be
hard to run that kind of business and not have to deal with such
people, so I decided not to work with those people either. When I
switched to doing game development independently, I loved the
people and really enjoyed it, so I stuck with that for years. I chose
not to base my career around working with difficult people. And

1041
now that Im getting into speaking, Im having a great time at that
too, and I get along great with the people, so Im happy on this
path too.
It seems that different kinds of careers attract different kinds of
people, and some industries seem to attract more jerks than
others. You dont have to work in a slaughterhouse (which
reportedly has the highest turnover rate for any kind of job), but
you dont have to work in a tech sweathouse either. You might
think that dealing with a difficult boss is a have to, but it isnt.
You cant control everything, but in most cases you have enough
control over your life to avoid having to deal with such people.
Just because everyone else around you tolerates an abusive boss
doesnt mean you have to.

1042
4.10 LEARNING STYLES
There are almost as many definitions as there do theorists in
the area. For people working within an aducational setting,
wishing to utilise learning style to promote more effective
learning, or identifying learner preferences, operationalising
learning style is a necessary but highly problematic endeavour.
The failure to identify and agree upon style charactristics is a
major concern in the field, as are the weaknesses in reliability
and validity and the confusion surrounding the definitions and
terminology. (Simon Cassidy, University of Salford, UK)
4.10.1 Kolb's learning styles
David Kolb has defined one of the most commonly used models
of learning. As in the diagram below, it is based on two
preference dimensions, giving four different styles of learning.

Concrete
ACCOMODATORS DIVERGERS
Experience

^
Perception

----
Active Reflective
<- Processing -- >
Experimentation Observation
--

Abstract
CONVERGERS conceptuali- ASSIMILATORS
zation

1043
Preference dimensions / Perception dimension
In the vertical Perception dimension, people will have a
preference along the continuum between:
Concrete experience: Looking at things as they are, without
any change, in raw detail.
Abstract conceptualization: Looking at things as concepts
and ideas, after a degree of processing that turns the raw detail
into an internal model.
People who prefer concrete experience will argue that thinking
about something changes it, and that direct empirical data is
essential. Those who prefer abstraction will argue that meaning
is created only after internal processing and that idealism is a
more real approach.
This spectrum is very similar to the Jungian scale of Sensing vs.
Intuiting.
Processing dimension
In the horizontal Processing dimension, people will take the
results of their Perception and process it in preferred ways
along the continuum between:
Active experimentation: Taking what they have concluded
and trying it out to prove that it works.
Reflective observation: Taking what they have concluded
and watching to see if it works.
Four learning styles
The experimenter, like the concrete experiencer, takes a hands-
on route to see if their ideas will work, whilst the reflective
observers prefer to watch and think to work things out.

1044
1. Divergers (Concrete experiencer/Reflective observer)
Divergers take experiences and think deeply about them, thus
diverging from a single experience to multiple possibilities in
terms of what this might mean. They like to ask 'why', and will
start from detail to constructively work up to the big picture.
They enjoy participating and working with others but they like
a calm ship and fret over conflicts. They are generally
influenced by other people and like to receive constructive
feedback.
They like to learn via logical instruction or hands-one
exploration with conversations that lead to discovery.
2. Convergers (Abstract conceptualization/Active
experimenter)
Convergers think about things and then try out their ideas to
see if they work in practice. They like to ask 'how' about a
situation, understanding how things work in practice. They like
facts and will seek to make things efficient by making small and
careful changes.
They prefer to work by themselves, thinking carefully and
acting independently. They learn through interaction and
computer-based learning is more effective with them than
other methods.
3. Accomodators (Concrete experiencer/Active experimenter)
Accommodators have the most hands-on approach, with a
strong preference for doing rather than thinking. They like to
ask 'what if?' and 'why not?' to support their action-first
approach. They do not like routine and will take creative risks
to see what happens.
They like to explore complexity by direct interaction and learn
better by themselves than with other people. As might be

1045
expected, they like hands-on and practical learning rather than
lectures.
4. Assimilators (Abstract conceptualizer/Reflective observer)
Assimilators have the most cognitive approach, preferring to
think than to act. The ask 'What is there I can know?' and like
organized and structured understanding.
They prefer lectures for learning, with demonstrations where
possible, and will respect the knowledge of experts. They will
also learn through conversation that takes a logical and
thoughtful approach.
They often have a strong control need and prefer the clean and
simple predictability of internal models to external messiness.
The best way to teach an assimilator is with lectures that start
from high-level concepts and work down to the detail. Give
them reading material, especially academic stuff and they'll
gobble it down. Do not teach through play with them as they
like to stay serious.
So what?
So design learning for the people you are working with. If you
cannot customize the design for specific people, use varied
styles of delivery to help everyone learn. It can also be useful to
describe this model to people, both to help them understand
how they learn and also so they can appreciate that some of
your delivery will for others more than them (and vice versa).
See also
Kolb, D.A. (1984). Experiential Learning. Englewood Cliffs, NJ:
Prentice-Hall

1046
Kolb's Model of Learning Styles
Kolb (1981) developed the Learning Style Inventory (LSI) to
evaluate the way people learn and work with ideas in day-to-day
life. He used the LSI to help people understand how they make
career choices, solve problems, set goals, manage others, and
deal with new situations. The instrument consists of twelve
questions in which the subject selects one of four possible
responses. The four columns in the instrument relate to the four
stages Kolb identified as a cycle of learning: Concrete Experience
(CE), Reflective Observation (RO), Abstract Conceptualization
(AC), and Active Experimentation (AE). He paired AE and RO as
polar opposites (doing vs. watching), and CE and AC as polar
opposites (feeling vs. thinking).
According to Kolb (1981),
1. Concrete Experience (CE) emphasizes active involvement,
relating with other people, and learning by experience. Learners
in the CE phase of learning are open-minded and adaptable, and
are sensitive to the feelings of themselves and others.
2. Reflective Observation (RO) is the stage in which the learner
watches and listens, views issues from different points of view,
and discovers meaning in the learning material.
3. Abstract Conceptualization (AC) is the application of thought
and logic, as opposed to feelings, to the learning situation.
Planning, developing theories, and analysis are part of this stage.
4. The last stage is Active Experimentation (AE) and involves
testing theories, carrying out plans, and influencing people and
events through activity. Kolb believed that a complete cycle of
learning involved each of these stages.
Since people use all four stages in many learning situations, Kolb
(1981) used combined scores to determine which of four
learning styles an individual preferred. He encouraged learners
to become familiar with their own learning style, including its

1047
strengths and weaknesses, as a means to getting more out of
each learning experience. The combined scores are derived from
the polar pairs (AC minus CE) and (AE minus RO). The results
are then plotted on a two axis grid, and finding the point of
interception in one of the four quadrants.
Hashaway (1998) described Kolb's four learning styles.
Divergers combine Reflective Observation (RO) and Concrete
Experience (CE); they can see situations from many perspectives,
and chunk up to forma a "gestalt". They do well in idea-
generating processes such as brain-storming; they are
imaginative and emotional. They tend to develop broad cultural
interests, and specialize in the arts, humanities and liberal arts.
Convergers combine Abstract Conceptualization and Active
Experimentation.
They have the opposite style to the Diverger. These learners do
well in conventional testing situations and other contexts where
there is a single correct answer or solution. They use
hypothetical- deductive reasoning, and can focus on specific
problems. They are relatively unemotional, are highly procedural
and prefer to work with inanimate objects than people. They
may have narrow interests and often choose to specialize in
science, engineering, and other exact fields. Figure 1 illustrates
the quadrants for the Diverger and the Converger.
According to Hashaway (1998), Assimilators combine Reflective
Observation and Abstract Conceptualization. They excel at
creating theoretical models. They have a tendency toward
inductive reasoning (chunking up), and are more interested in
abstract concepts than in application or in people. Basic sciences
and mathematics attract Assimilators, who excel in these fields
of study.

1048
The Accomodator's strength is doing things, carrying out
plans and performing experiments.
They like novel experiences and adapt to change easily. Of the
four types, Accomodators are highest in risk-taking and most
easily adapt to immediate circumstances. They solve problems in
an intuitive, trial-and-error manner. They rely on other people
for information more than their own analytical ability. They can
appear impatient or pushy.
Kolb (1981) believed that the most effective problem solving and
learning occurred when people used the skills of all four types of
learners. Nearly every problem requires (1) Identifying a
problem, (2) Selecting which problem to solve, (3) Considering a
variety of possible solutions, (4) Evaluating possible results of
the solutions, and (5) Implementing the solution of choice.
Figure 3, which is adapted from Kolb, shows how this cycle of
learning and problem solving moves through all four of the
learning styles, and utilizes all four stages of learning.
McCarthy (1987) developed the 4Mat system based on Kolb's
learning types, and recommended teaching in a cyclical process
that addresses each phase in the cycle of learning, and each of
the learning styles in the instruction of any subject matter. Her
method of teaching started with the Diverger (values and
meanings), then Assimilator (conceptual connections), then
Converger (problem solving skills), and finally Accommodator
(new creations). Movement around the circle includes all
learners in their natural preferences, and encourages them to
develop skills in the other three styles. It respects the natural
cycle of learning suggested by Kolb. (1981). McCarthy's system
was to teach to each style in sequence for each lesson or content
chunk. For each lesson or content chunk the teacher was to
answer the question most relevant for each quadrant: Why?
(relevance), What? (facts and descriptive material), How?
(methods and procedures), and What If? (exceptions,

1049
applications, creative combination with other material).
McCarthy offered additional insights into the four leaning styles,
as summarized below.

Characteristics of the Four Learning Types (McCarthy, 1987)

Learning Style Characteristics as Characteristics as

Learners Teachers

Diverger Perceive information Have interest in

concretely, process facilitating personal
reflectively, are growth, help people
imaginative, believe in become more self-
their own experience, aware, exhibit
are insight thinkers, authenticity,
thrive on harmony encourage
and personal discussions, group
involvement, seek work, feelings, and
commitment, cooperation, and help
meaning, and clarity, students find
and have high interest meaningful goals.
in people and culture. They may be fearful
under pressure and
may lack risk-taking.

Assimilator Perceive abstractly, Transmit knowledge,

process reflectively, facts, and details; use
devise theories, seek organized sequential
continuity, need to thinking, demonstrate
know what experts love of knowledge, but
think, love ideas, and can have a dominating
are detail oriented. attitude that can
They exhibit discourage creativity.
intellectual
competence in

1050
 traditional
classrooms.
Converger Perceive abstractly,
process actively,
integrate theory and
practice, are
pragmatic, dislike
fuzzy ideas, value
strategic thinking, are
skill oriented, like to
experiment, and seek
results and
applications.
Accommodator Perceive concretely
and process actively,
learn by trial and
error, are interested
in self-discovery, are
enthusiastic about
new things, are
adaptable and flexible,
like change, are risk
takers, people are
important to them,
and they seek to
influence.
David Kolb published his learning styles model in 1984 from
which he developed his learning style inventory. Kolb's learning
theory works on two levels: a four stage cycle of learning and
Encourage
productivity and
competence, promote
high values, teach
skills for adult life,
believe knowledge
makes learners
independent. They
tend to be inflexible
and may lack team
skills
Enable student self-
discovery, help people
act on their own
visions, believe
curricula should be
geared to learner
interests, see
knowledge as a tool
for improving society,
encourage
experiential learning,
and are dramatic,
energizing,
stimulating, novel
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four separate learning styles. Much of Kolbs learning theory is
concerned with the learners internal cognitive processes.
Kolb states that learning involves the acquisition of abstract
concepts that can be applied flexibly in a range of situations. In
Kolbs theory, the impetus for the development of new concepts
is provided by new experiences.
Learning is the process whereby knowledge is created through
the transformation of experience (David A. Kolb, 1984).
Kolb's experiental learning style theory is typically represented
by a four stage learning cycle in which the learner 'touches all
the bases':
1. Concrete Experience - (a new experience of situation is
encountered, or a reinterpretation of existing experience)
2. Reflective Observation (of the new experience. Of particular
importance are any inconsistencies between experience and
understanding)
3. Abstract Conceptualisation (Reflection gives rise to a new
idea, or a modification of an existing abstract concept)
4. Active Experimentation (the learner applies them to the
world around them to see what results)
Kolb Experiental Learning Styles
Kolb's learning theory sets out four distinct learning styles,
which are based on a four-stage learning cycle.
Kolb explains that different people naturally prefer a certain
single different learning style. Various factors influence a
person's preferred style. For example, social environment,
educational experiences, or the basic cognitive structure of the
individual.
Whatever influences the choice of style, the learning style
preference itself is actually the product of two pairs of variables,

1052
or two separate 'choices' that we make, which Kolb presented as
lines of axis, each with 'conflicting' modes at either end:
Concrete Experience - CE
(feeling) ----V----Abstract
Conceptualization - AC
(thinking)
Active Experimentation - AE
(doing)--- V---- Reflective
Observation - RO (watching)
A typical presentation of Kolb's
two continuums is that the east-west axis is called the
Processing Continuum (how we approach a task), and the
north-south axis is called the Perception Continuum (our
emotional response, or how we think or feel about it).
Kolb believed that we cannot perform both variables on a single
axis at the same time (e.g. think and feel).
Our learning style is a product of these two choice decisions.
It's often easier to see the construction of Kolb's learning styles
in terms of a two-by-two matrix. Each learning style represents a
combination of two preferred styles. The diagram also highlights
Kolb's terminology for the four learning styles; diverging,
assimilating, and converging, accommodating:
Doing (Active Watching
Experimentation - (Reflective
AE) Observation - RO)
Feeling (Concrete Accommodating Diverging
Experience - CE) (CE/AE) (CE/RO)
Thinking (Abstract Assimilating
Converging (AC/AE)
Conceptualization - AC) (AC/RO)

1053
Kolb Learning Styles Definitions
Knowing a person's (and your own) learning style enables
learning to be orientated according to the preferred method.
That said, everyone responds to and needs the stimulus of all
types of learning styles to one extent or another - it's a matter of
using emphasis that fits best with the given situation and a
person's learning style preferences.
Here are brief descriptions of the four Kolb learning styles:

Diverging (feeling and watching CE/RO)

These people are able to look at things from different
perspectives. They are sensitive.
They prefer to watch rather than do, tending to gather
information and use imagination to solve problems.

1054
They are best at viewing concrete situations several different
viewpoints.
Kolb called this style 'Diverging' because these people perform
better in situations that require ideas-generation, for example,
brainstorming. People with a Diverging learning style have broad
cultural interests and like to gather information. They are
interested in people, tend to be imaginative and emotional, and
tend to be strong in the arts. People with the Diverging style
prefer to work in groups, to listen with an open mind and to
receive personal feedback.
Assimilating (watching and thinking - AC/RO)
The Assimilating learning preference is for a concise, logical
approach. Ideas and concepts are more important than people.
These people require good clear explanation rather than
practical opportunity. They excel at understanding wide-ranging
information and organising it a clear logical format. People with
an Assimilating learning style are less focused on people and
more interested in ideas and abstract concepts. People with this
style are more attracted to logically sound theories than
approaches based on practical value.
These learning style people is important for effectiveness in
information and science careers. In formal learning situations,
people with this style prefer readings, lectures, exploring
analytical models, and having time to think things through.
Converging (doing and thinking - AC/AE)
People with a Converging learning style can solve problems and
will use their learning to find solutions to practical issues. They
prefer technical tasks, and are less concerned with people and
interpersonal aspects. People with a Converging learning style
are best at finding practical uses for ideas and theories. They can
solve problems and make decisions by finding solutions to
questions and problems.

1055
People with a Converging learning style are more attracted to
technical tasks and problems than social or interpersonal issues.
A Converging learning style enables specialist and technology
abilities. People with a Converging style like to experiment with
new ideas, to simulate, and to work with practical applications.
Accommodating (doing and feeling - CE/AE)
The Accommodating learning style is 'hands-on', and relies on
intuition rather than logic. These people use other people's
analysis, and prefer to take a practical, experiential approach.
They are attracted to new challenges and experiences, and to
carrying out plans. They commonly act on 'gut' instinct rather
than logical analysis. People with an Accommodating learning
style will tend to rely on others for information than carry out
their own analysis. This learning style is prevalent.
Honey and Mumford's Typology of Learners
Based on Kolb's (1982) experiential learning model, Honey and
Mumford proposed a similar categorization of individual
learning styles and which seems to be popular in management
education:
1. Activists, prefer to act and are well equipped to experiment
(experiencing)
2. Reflectors, prefer to study data and are well equipped to
review (reviewing)
3. Theorists, need to tidy up and have answers, are well
equipped for concluding (concluding)
4. Pragmatists, like things practical, are well equipped for
planning (planning)

According to various practionners' websites (e.g. there are

important consequences for instructional designers:

1056
1. Activists:
o learn best when: they can immediately do something, when
they are exposed to new experiences and problems, work
with others in task teams
o learn least when: they have to listen to long explanations,
absorb a lot of data, follow precise instructions, read, write
and think a lot on their own, ...
o Pedagogical activities: brainstorms, problem solving, group
discussions, role plays, competitions, etc.
2. Reflectors:
o learn best when: they can observe, review and think about
what is happening
o learn least when: they are rushed, have to act as leaders,
o Pedagogical activities: observing activities, paired
discussions, coached activities, questionnaires, interviews, ...
3. Theorists:
o learn best when: they can study theories, models, concepts,
stories etc. behind, they can ask questions and engage in
analysis and synthesis.
o learn least when: the activity is ill structured, no principles
are taught, ...
o Pedagogical activities: Provide models, background
information, ...
4. Pragmatists
o learn best when: they can apply new information to a real
world problem, etc.
o learn least when: "everything is theory", the isn't an
immediate benefit, etc.
o Pedagogical activities: Case studies, discussion, problem
solving

1057
4.10.2 Myers-Briggs (MBTI)
According to Felder (1996), this model classifies students
according to their preferences on scales derived from
psychologist Carl Jung's theory of psychological types. Students
may be:
1. Extraverts (try things out, focus on the outer world of people)
or introverts (think things through, focus on the inner world
of ideas);
2. Sensors (practical, detail-oriented, focus on facts and
procedures) or intuitors (imaginative, concept-oriented,
focus on meanings and possibilities);
3. Thinkers (skeptical, tend to make decisions based on logic
and rules) or feelers (appreciative, tend to make decisions
based on personal and humanistic considerations);
4. Judgers (set and follow agendas, seek closure even with
incomplete data) or perceivers (adapt to changing
circumstances, resist closure to obtain more data).
The MBTI type preferences can be combined to form 16 different
learning style types. For example, one student may be an ESTJ
(extravert, sensor, thinker, perceiver) and another may be an
INFJ (introvert, intuitor, feeler, judger).
Myer-Briggs types do have similar practical implications for
education to the Honey-Mumford approach.
Sources :
Mcleod, S. A. (2010). Simply Psychology; , from
http://www.simplypsychology.org/learning-kolb.html
http://www.lifecircles-
inc.com/Learningtheories/constructivism/kolb.html
http://changingminds.org/explanations/learning/kolb_learning.
htm http://edutechwiki.unige.ch/en/Learning_style

1058
4.11 CHANGE MANAGEMENT
"Change occurs when one becomes what one is, not when one
tries to become what one is not." * Arnold R. Beisser

The Transition Curve

The three stages of transition are shown in a Transition Curve
and whilst this curve is over simplified, it is a useful tool for
understanding the sorts of issues people might be facing during a
change.

1059
Here are some points to bear in mind when assessing where
people are on the transition curve.
Some people repeat sections of the curve to best handle
transition (there's no right or wrong sequence).
People will exhibit different emotions depending upon the
nature and number of changes occurring to them at the same
time and their 'emotional intelligence'. This is normal.
Realising where you and the people around you are on the
curve will help you initiate appropriate actions and respond
effectively.
Teams may travel the curve together but individuals will
arrive at 'beginnings' at their own personal rate.
It's OK to be slow so long as you're moving and not stuck
somewhere.
It's OK to be slow so long as you're planning on arriving
sometime.
It's OK to be fast so long as you're tolerant and supportive of
slower travellers.
It's OK to be fast so long as you honestly acknowledge your
own 'endings'.

1. Understanding Endings
In the 'Endings' stage, staff may want to deny the existence of the
initiative and other related change events. Their denial can move
them to fear and uncertainty about the future. This diminishes
their level of activity and readiness to deal with the accelerating
pace of change as the process starts to impact on the
organization.
Staff may acutely feel the loss of the familiarity and security they
felt in the organization before this and other changes occurred.

1060
They are likely to be trying to reconcile or accept the fact that
things will now be different from the way they have been. They
will be trying to accept that they will have to let go of their
current sense of identity in the organization.
Follow this link for a checklist of actions to consider in the
Endings Zone

Checklist for Managing Endings

Have I studied the change carefully and Y/N

identified who is likely to lose what including
what I myself am likely to lose?

Do I understand the subjective realities of these Y/N

losses to the people who experience them, even
when they seem like over-reaction to me?

Have I acknowledged these losses with Y/N

sympathy?

Have I permitted people to grieve and publicly Y/N

expressed my own sense of loss?

Have I found ways to compensate people for Y/N

their losses?

Am I giving people accurate information and Y/N

doing it again and again?

1061
Have I defined clearly what is over and what Y/N
isn't?

Have I found ways to 'mark the ending'? Y/N

Am I being careful not to denigrate the past but, Y/N

when possible, to find ways to honour it?

Have I made a plan for giving people a piece of Y/N

the past to take with them?

Have I made it clear how the ending we are Y/N

making is necessary to protect the continuity of
the organization or conditions on which the
organization depends?

Is the ending we are making big enough to get Y/N

the job done in one step?

2. Understanding the Neutral Zone

The Neutral Zone or exploration stage is the time between the
current and the desired state. Staff will be attempting to orient
themselves to the new requirements and behaviours. During this
time, they will be confused about the future and will feel
overloaded with competing demands.
This can have a negative impact on activities. Because things can
be chaotic at this stage, staff may question the status quo or the

1062
accepted way of doing things. It is important to note that with
encouragement this stage can be a time of exploration that is
ripe with creative opportunity.
Follow this link for a checklist of actions to consider in the
Neutral Zone.

Checklist for Managing the Neutral Zone

Have I done my best to normalise the neutral Y/N

zone by explaining it is an uncomfortable time
which, with careful attention, can be turned to
everyone's advantage?

Have I redefined it by choosing a new and more Y/N

affirmative metaphor with which to describe it?

Have I reinforced that metaphor with training Y/N

programmes, policy changes, and financial
rewards for people to keep doing their jobs
during the neutral zone

Am I protecting people adequately from further Y/N

changes?

If I can't protect them, am I clustering those Y/N

changes meaningfully?

Have I created the temporary policies and Y/N

procedures that we need to get us through the

1063
neutral zone?

Have I set short-range goals and checkpoints? Y/N

Have I set realistic output objectives? Y/N

Have I found what special training programs we Y/N

need to deal successfully with the neutral zone?

Have I found ways to keep people feeling that Y/N

they still belong to the organisation and are
valued by our part of it? And have I taken care
that perks and other forms of 'privilege' are not
undermining the solidarity of the group?

Do I have a means of gathering feedback during Y/N

the time in the neutral zone?

Are my people willing to experiment and take Y/N

risks in intelligently conceived ventures - or are
we punishing all failures?

Have I stepped back and taken stock of how Y/N

things are being done in my part of the
organisation? (This is worth doing both for its
own sake and as a visible model for others
similar behaviour)

1064
Have I provided others with opportunities to do Y/N
the same thing? Have I provided them with the
resources - facilitators, survey instruments and
so on - that will help them do that?

Have I seen to it that people build their skills in Y/N

creative thinking and innovation?

Have I encouraged experiment and seen to it Y/N

that people are not punished for failing in
intelligent efforts that did not pan out?

Have I set an example by brainstorming many Y/N

answers to my old problems - the ones that
people say you just have to live with? Am I
encouraging others to do the same?

Am I regularly checking to see that I am not Y/N

pushing for certainty and closure where it
would be more conducive to creativity to live a
little longer with - uncertainty and questions?

Am I using my time in the neutral zone as an Y/N

opportunity to replace old systems with
integrated systems?

1065
3. Understanding New Beginnings
The New Beginnings stage of the Transition Curve is that time
when people are ready to commit to the new direction and the
change. They feel secure in the new organization and are ready
to function as a significant contributor. This typically occurs as
the initiative starts to achieve some of its desired goals.

Checklist for Managing New Beginnings

Am I distinguishing in my own mind and in my Y/N

expectations of others, between the start, which
can happen on a planned schedule, and the
beginning, which will not?

Do I accept the fact that people are going to be Y/N

ambivalent towards the beginning I am trying to
bring about?

Have I taken care of the ending(s) and the Y/N

neutral zone, or am I trying to make a beginning
happen before it possibly can?

Have I clarified and communicated the purpose Y/N

of (the idea behind) the change?

Have I created an effective picture of the change Y/N

and found ways to communicate it effectively?

1066
Have I created a plan for bringing people Y/N
through the three phases of transition - and
distinguished it in my own mind from the
change management?

Have I helped people to discover as soon as Y/N

possible the part that they will play in the new
system - or how the new system will affect the
part they play within the organisation?

Have I ensured that everyone has a part to play Y/N

in the transition management process and that
they understand that part?

Have I checked to see that policies, procedures Y/N

and priorities are consistent with the new
beginning I am trying to make so that
inconsistencies are not sending a mixed
message?

Am I watching my own actions carefully to be Y/N

sure that I am effectively modelling the
attitudes and behaviours I am asking others to
develop?

Have I found ways, financial and non financial, Y/N

to reward people for becoming the new people I
am calling upon them to become?

1067
Have I built into my plans some occasions for Y/N
quick success to help people rebuild their self-
confidence and to build the image of the
transition as successful?

Have I found ways to symbolise the new Y/N

identity - organisational and personal - that is
emerging from this period of transition?

Have I given people a piece of the transition to Y/N

keep as a reminder of the difficult and
rewarding journey we all took together?

Emotional Responses
'It can be a bit scary... I think managers should come clean on
it and say it will be a bit scary and if they don't and say 'Oh no
it will be fine' there will be people who will be sitting there
and thinking 'Oh no they are saying it should be fine and I am
scared to death so there must be something wrong with me'
and there will be managers who are scared too.'
Head of Support Department, Pre '92 University.

'I thought it sounded exciting but was also filled with horror
at the thought of it becoming part of my working life. I had so
many questions about how it would work and not do me out of
a job.'
Hair & Beauty Therapy Tutor, FE College, on implementation
of a VLE

1068
In a transition there are emotional responses to the losses that
people experience because of the changes. This is normal but
often these responses are taken by others as signs that the
change is being resisted. Those leading change need to recognise
these emotions in others and themselves, and develop ways to
manage their own emotions and assist others to manage theirs.
Unmanaged, these responses may undermine the changes and
have personal consequences.
This process has been likened, psychologically, to the grieving
process.
'I think you can follow it back if you want to bereavement and
all sorts of things like that. Saying that you cannot move
through bereavement and become creative at the other end
till you have got hold of what the loss means
Head of Support Department, Pre '92 University.
Everyone deals with such major changes in their own way but
we can identify a number of stages that staff might go through.
Shock and Denial
Distrust
Anger and Guilt
Depression, Anxiety and Stress
Regret
For a discussion of each of the stages together with some typical
views from those who have experienced such a process follow
the link to Emotional Responses to Change and Transition.
Each of the stages in the process needs to be recognised and
responded to accordingly. For example, it's no good expecting
grudging acceptance when staff are still in shock. You are more
likely to get anger and no argument, no matter how reasonable
to you, is likely to win staff around.
For those, managing the change, the challenge is to get staff
through from shock to grudging acceptance in as fast a time as

1069
possible whilst minimising stress and limiting the effect on other
areas of the organisation.
The Change Curve, or transition curve, helps us to understand
the emotions that people may go through when changing
This page explains the change curve which is one of the change
management tools that would be on every change management
checklist. It is a change management model that is essential in
understanding how to be in control when going through the
change management process.

What's in it for me to understand the transition curve?

Why should I bother?
The change curve above illustrates typical emotions and
reactions when people are going through transition.
Knowing that the emotions involved are temporary and
"normal" will prevent you:

1070
* from becoming swamped by them or
* from being stuck in negative emotions or
* from being overcome by fear or
* from becoming a victim.
It will empower you to be proactive and take control so that you
can experience the change process positively with a sense of
achievement and enhanced self esteem.
Ok, so what is the change curve? Let's go through it stage by
stage.
Each specific situation, and each person involved, may vary
somewhat from this, of course, depending on the scale of the
change they are facing and the stakes involved.
The change curve model above shows how you may react when
involved in managing personal change that you may not have
created, may not agree with, think you have (and may have)
something to lose, and feel that you cant do anything about it -
that is, you are not in control of the change management process.
Typically, as shown on the change curve, the first reactions
involve the red negative emotions (on the left hand side of the
curve) as you feel to be a victim.
You may initially feel shock and be overwhelmed, depending on
the significance and scale of the changes.
This may be followed by denial, a refusal to accept or even
recognise that change is happening.
This may be followed by blame, sometimes of others or of self.
All the while, the change is not going away - it keeps on coming,
like the tide coming in, you cant stop it.
This may cause confusion or resistance and sabotage, especially
if there is significant uncertainty.

1071
As these emotions unfold, you may (or may not) suffer a
deterioration of performance, including your relationships with
others or a decline in your self-esteem.
Typically, what then happens is that, as the change is still
coming, you may come to accept the fact and let go of your
negative emotions.
If so, you will have reached the bottom of the transition curve
and will then begin the process of moving up the right hand side
of the curve (with the green positive emotions).
You may, for example, begin to explore options in dealing with
the change or options that the change itself creates.
This will often be followed by testing out new behaviours in
the changed situation, searching for meaning and how to make it
work.
As experience with the new situation builds, you may move into
problem solving and decision making mode - now contributing to
the changes and, maybe, beginning to experience the benefits of
change management.
Finally, you integrate and internalise the changes into new
habits.
At this point, your behaviour (and performance) is at a higher
level than when the change management process began.
In other words, the change curve shows a typical situation
where the outcome is success (ie the change has been
implemented and you have developed as a result).
Whilst going through the change experience may have been
uncomfortable (especially in the first stages), this positive
outcome is likely to boost your personal development self
confidence, self help and determination

1072
How long will it take?
Depending on the significance of the change, it could take hours
or days or weeks or months or years or, maybe, you might get
stuck somewhere on the curve and never reach integration.
In addition, how people have encountered change is important.
If change is being done TO them, their emotions are likely to run
higher and be more negative than if change is being done BY
them.
A key learning point is that the very same people who have been
proactive in extending their property, investing in the latest hi-fi
or high definition home cinema, acquiring the most up-to-date
mobile phone or computer, setting up their own website,
holidaying in exotic places with very different cultures and food,
trading in their car for the latest model every two years etc. -
those very same people can, and do, go through the change curve
when change is done TO them (rather than BY them).
So, two key points:
1. the change curve above summarises typical reactions when
you have change thrust or forced upon you
2. however, when change is owned and initiated by you it is a
different kettle of fish (e.g. you will avoid the negative red
emotions shown on the change curve and enjoy the green
emotions and a great sense of achievement).
Therefore, the best way to manage change is to help create it.
This is undoubtedly the best change management model of all.
How do I use the change curve?
Firstly, use it to understand that negative emotions during
change are "normal" and, most of the time, are transient (i.e.
they will pass).

1073
This is very helpful in supporting yourself or others during
change, especially if you or they are well outside your comfort
zone.
Secondly, use it to show empathy and to communicate to
people going through change that getting stuck in the negative
red emotions on the change curve (or in feeling a victim) will, in
the longer run, be self-hurting.
This can help people's motivation to take control and be
proactive in moving quickly to the green states shown on the
change curve.
Thirdly, use it for feedback and learning by checking
periodically where people are on the change curve and how they
are moving along it (or not).
This can help people develop or maintain their perspective and,
to some extent, de-personalise the process they are going
through and thus reduce the intensity of any negative emotions
they are feeling.
It will also facilitate the planning of positive actions to accelerate
progress to integation of new behaviours and habits.
The Change Curve shows us that whilst there can be no formula
for change management, we can achieve self improvement by
being proactive to boost our self esteem and control our
emotions..

1074
KILLING ATTITUDE KILLER ATTITUDE
Fear Try, Experiment
E nvy Cultivate Diversity
Reject others Value others
Feel victimized Admire others
Feel dependent Compliment others
Emphasize the importance of
contribution of others
Survive disasters
Be committed

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Overcoming internal resistance to change:
in many ways, the hallmark of a great leader is how well he
or she manages change
by Robert A. Sevier
People, and the organizations they create and inhabit, seldom
welcome change. For the most part, they are resistant and
reluctant, believing that there is great comfort in the familiar and
greater security in the status qua. As a result, they tend to resist
new ideas and new ways to think about old ideas. They suffer, as
one wag reminded me, from hardening of the categories.
Unfortunately, our present, and certainly our future, is all about
change. In fact, there is a wonderful adage that describes the
issue succinctly: The only constant is change. Ultimately, both
individual and organizational success may well depend not on
how well we resist change, but how well we embrace it. After all,
at its most basic, leadership is all about managing change. It is
about anticipating it; framing it in ways the organization
understands; finding a path through it In many ways, the
hallmark of a great leader is how well he or she manages change.
But why are people on campus so darn change-averse?
CHANGE AND FEAR
What is it about change that people in general--and faculty and
staff in particular--most fear? Based on the work I have done
with strategic planning and organizational change, it appears
that members of the campus community are often concerned
about:
* Loss of power and prestige
* Reallocation or loss of resources
* Loss of autonomy
* Intrusion into personal and professional domains
* Changing definitions of success

1076
* Altered reward systems
* Fear of technology
* Fear of having to relearn
On campus, times of change are usually seen as times of angst
(True to that tendency, Lily Tomlin once quipped, "Why walk
boldly when I can be driven by leaf?") Now that we have a basic
understanding of the reasons behind change resistance, let's look
at a handful of strategies for overcoming internal resistance to
change to do that, we need to first understand the physics of
change.
THE PHYSICS OF CHANGE
There is a saying among Newtonians that a body at rest will
remain at rest unless acted upon by a (greater) outside force. In
other words, if the pressure to change is not greater than the
resistance to change, little will happen. Stasis has been achieved.
Understanding and sometimes applying these outside forces is
critical to understanding and bringing about change, especially
transformational change. For colleges and universities, these
outside forces typically involve:
A major threat or pressure from the external environment.
In the mid '90s, following a series of lawsuits and mounting
public pressure, The Citadel (SC) was forced to become
coeducational. This was a major pressure from the external
environment.
An unanticipated opportunity.
In 1981, Macalester College (MN) received a significant gift of
stock from DeWitt and Lila Wallace. The gift, coupled with other
gifts, keen leadership, and careful management, not only allowed
the school to control its own destiny, but challenged the college
to think about the larger responsibility it had to serve society.
An internal crisis or setback.

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In the mid '90s, following disclosure that the New Era
Foundation was bankrupt, a number of colleges and universities
that had invested heavily in the fund found themselves without
the necessary cash flow to finance some short-term obligations.
These kinds of catalysts, either singularly or in tandem, can serve
as the genesis for change.
7 STRATEGIES TO OVERCOME RESISTANCE
Now that we understand both the fear and physics of change,
let's take a look at seven strategies designed to help you
overcome resistance to change.
1--Clarify the change "event." First and foremost, always clarify
the change event. In other words, what's the itch? If you cannot
clarify the specific threat or opportunity in real, concrete a
terms, you can't advance. What's more, the change event must be
identifiable not only to senior administrators, but also to the
faculty and staff actually in the trenches.
2--Create a sense of urgency. Next, you must create a sense of
urgency. A college or university might suffer declining
enrollment for a number of years with little real concern.
However, showing that this decline will affect faculty salaries or
might cause a loss of accreditation is more likely to generate a
sense that something must be done. To create a sense of urgency,
key audiences must understand in real and concrete terms how
the change event will affect them. Either show them how their
lives will be diminished if the threat is not dealt with, or how
their lives will be improved if the opportunity is accommodated.
3--Develop a course of action. Once you have identified a threat
or opportunity, you must develop a course of action that is clear
and simple. If it is not dear, people won't understand how it will
deal with the issue. If it is not simple, people will get bogged
down. A simple decision to freeze tuition increases, for example,
is a lot easier to understand than a complex financial aid

1078
leveraging scheme that takes a raft of Ph.D.s in Economics to
understand and implement. As you think about your course of
action, however, keep in mind two important fundamentals:
First, a good response created and acted upon quickly is much
better than a perfect response that takes forever to Formulate.
Second, don't get too focused on a need for consensus.
Consensus sounds great, and change-management literature is
chock-full of strategies for achieving it. But the fact is, total
consensus almost never occurs. So, rather than consensus, seek
just enough consensus. Get enough people on board, especially
the right people. Don't worry about the vocal 10 percent who
seem to oppose your every move. Let their peers work on them;
you work with the go percent who are willing to be led.
4--Establish a guiding coalition. While the vision for a change
may originate with one person, the actual change process must
be accomplished through a coalition of believers who, in
response to a threat or opportunity, developed a unified
response. This guiding coalition must be large enough to have an
impact on the organization, but small enough to act in a truly
coordinated fashion. Furthermore, this coalition must include
major and minor players and be as cross-functional as possible,
drawing from all segments of the campus. A coalition that
includes people from Admissions, Advancement, and senior
faculty will likely be more credible than a team comprising
people only from Advancement.
5--Communicate your course of action widely. With the key
elements in place, you must communicate your course of action
widely and continually. Not only must people understand in
general the institutional response, but they must understand
specifically their role in the change process. What is the role that
the people in Parking or the Registrar's office have in the change
process? If they don't understand their role, they will not be
wedded to the change event. Furthermore, they might
unintentionally undermine what you are trying to accomplish.

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6--Generate and celebrate near-term wins. While significant
change is typically a long-term undertaking, people need to
know immediately that their efforts are having some impact.
This is much like the overweight person who decides to lose 50
pounds over the next year. After a week of struggling with a new
food plan, a dieter wants to know that she's dropped a few
pounds Without that near-term win, she'll become discouraged
and drop out before the long haul. So, celebrate your near-term
wins. If you decide to open an off-campus center for adult
students, people on the main campus need to be aware that the
center is successful and that adults are enrolling. And if you are
smart, you'll also tell them how the revenue from that new
center is going to help them in their day-to-day activities.
7--Anchor change in the organization. Change begins with
people, but it is institutionalized through artfully developed
policies and procedures, realistic budgets, measures of success,
and ongoing training. You simply cannot ask people to change
without giving them the tools to change. This support must be
real, obvious, and given freely. At the same time, people who opt
not to change must be dealt with or their recalcitrance will
spread. One of the quickest ways to undermine change is to
ignore people who will not embrace--and even sabotage--the
change initiative.
IN A NUTSHELL ...
Educator and philosopher Clarke Kerr once wrote, "The major
test of a modern U.S. university is how wisely and how quickly it
is able to adjust to important new possibilities." Bottom Line? It's
all about change.
TWO TOMES ON CHANGE
There Ore a great number of books on change, but my two
favorites are:

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Kotter, John. Leading Change [Boston; Harvard Business School
Press, 1996]
Kouzes, James M, and Barry Z. Posner. Credibility: How Leaders
Gain and Lose It, Why People Demand It [San Francisco, Jossey-
Bass, 1995]

Break Through Inner Resistance To Your Success

By Suzanne Zacharia
So many people feel stuck in the same old problem. Maybe they
have been trying to make more money and somehow there is
always a limit stopping them from moving further. Or perhaps
they keep repeating the same unhappy patterns in love and
relationships. Some people contact me with an emotional or
physical condition that just would not shift. They may have seen
excellent practitioners, therapists, and coaches, but still, they
have the challenge to deal with. It often seems like there is no
hope and can be very frustrating. The biggest source of
frustration is that the person would be doing everything they can
to get over this hurdle and totally committed, so they cannot
understand why there is this internal block stopping them.
With EFT, or Emotional Freedom Techniques, this block is called
Psychological Reversal. It is a state where you want to move
forward, but your energy is holding you back. Usually, this
psychological reversal is easy to treat with every time you do the
EFT procedure. However, in some cases, this simple treatment is
not enough. With trial and error, I have found three solutions to
this kind of stubborn block.
1. The Sentinel negotiation. Most stubborn blocks is because
part of you sees harm in moving forward and blocks you
from doing so. As strange as it may seem, this is because part
of you is protecting you. The idea of the Sentinel is one
derived from NLP, and I find that once the negotiation is

1081
 complete, then that block is no longer needed and your
Sentinel protector simply removes it and lets you move on to
your success. For example, you may want to have more
money, but your Sentinel thinks that if you does, you will be
taken advantage of by someone and treated badly by them,
so it stops you dead in your tracks every time you come near
to realizing that goal. Or maybe you want to meet a love
partner, but your Sentinel is afraid that if you do, you will
have children and treat them as badly as your mother or
father treated you; so your Sentinel will do anything to stop
you from having a stable relationship. Also, resistant phobias
and addictions are notorious for having an element of
protection stopping you from moving forward. If you have a
fear or anxiety that simply will not go away, ask your
Sentinel for help; that is my advice. Most people will try to
push their way past their Sentinel and try to force the
change, only to be thwarted again at some point. The answer
lies with talking to your Sentinel and negotiating a way
forward together. As strange as it may seem, what is in the
way is actually your way forward.
2. The Mountains of Self Worth program. I found that one
reason why some people gets stuck in a negative way of
thinking is that they are always comparing themselves
unfavourably to others. For example, if you think your
colleague is better than you, when it comes to promotion,
you will somehow block yourself from taking that position
instead of him/her. Or if you think you are unattractive or
unworthy as a partner or lover compared to most of your
friends or family, this belief may hold you back from having
a happy relationship. Or you may feel anxious in social
situations or when doing a presentation, comparing yourself
unfavourably with others whom you see as better than you.
By releasing this constant comparison, you can see yourself
as you really are rather as a lesser-than kind of person. Then

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 the lesser-than block will melt away and you can simply
move forward to your success. After all, it is your path to
success that you are treading, not the other people you
compare yourself to. You are the only one that matters on
this path, regardless of what they do on theirs. It is your
path.
3. The third block is a very low level of self-love or self-
acceptance, and sometimes a very low level of love and
acceptance for others. I have found that when this is about
20% or lower, the person is thwarted in any effort of self-
improvement, or that they get extremely slow progress. For
example, someone who wants to lose weight but hates
themselves often would overeat to fill the emotional void
from lack of self-love. Or someone who wants to get the most
out of their staff but finds them uncooperative may at a
subconscious level not accept their staff, and they sense that
and react accordingly. Someone who has bitterness in their
heart to certain people may be subconsciously concentrating
so much on this bitterness that they may have no energy left
to propel themselves to their own success. The solution is to
learn how to accept and/or send unconditional love healing
energy. You can train yourself to channel love healing from
the Universe all around you. This love is unconditional love,
and by its definition it has no conditions. The only person
blocking it would be you. But the good news is that you can
train in how to let it in and how to channel it, or let it flow
through you. Once you do, you will find it much easier to
move forward to the success that your heart truly desires.
I hope this gives you ideas on the way forward. By removing
these inner resistance blocks, you can find the success that you
truly desire.

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The Habit Change Cheatsheet:
29 Ways to Successfully Ingrain a Behavior
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but
a habit. - Aristotle
Our daily lives are often a series of habits played out through the
day, a trammeled existence fettered by the slow accretion of our
previous actions. But habits can be changed, as difficult as that
may seem sometimes.
There are so many examples around us: people do quit smoking,
stop impulse spending, get out of debt, begin running and
waking early and eating healthier, become frugal and simplify
their lifes, become organized and focused and productive, you
get the picture.
Keep it simple
Habit change is not that complicated. While the tips below will
seem overwhelming, theres really only a few things you need to
know. Everything else is just helping these to become reality.

The simple steps of habit change:

1. Write down your plan.
2. Identify your triggers and replacement habits.
3. Focus on doing the replacement habits every single
time the triggers happen, for about 30 days.

Thats it. Well talk more about each of these steps, and much
more, in the cheatsheet below.

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The Habit Change Cheatsheet
The following is a compilation of tips to help you change a habit.
Dont be overwhelmed always remember the simple steps
above. The rest are different ways to help you become more
successful in your habit change.
1. Do just one habit at a time. Extremely important. Habit
change is difficult, even with just one habit. If you do more than
one habit at a time, youre setting yourself up for failure. Keep it
simple, allow yourself to focus, and give yourself the best chance
for success. Btw, this is why New Years resolutions often fail
people try to tackle more than one change at a time.
2. Start small. The smaller the better, because habit change is
difficult, and trying to take on too much is a recipe for disaster.
Want to exercise? Start with just 5-10 minutes. Want to wake up
earlier? Try just 10 minutes earlier for now. Or consider half
habits.
3. Do a 30-day Challenge. In my experience, it takes about 30
days to change a habit, if youre focused and consistent. This is a
round number and will vary from person to person and habit to
habit. Often youll read a magical 21 days to change a habit, but
this is a myth with no evidence. Seriously try to find the
evidence from a scientific study for this. A more recent study
shows that 66 days is a better number. But 30 days is a good
number to get you started. Your challenge: stick with a habit
every day for 30 days, and post your daily progress updates to a
forum.
4. Write it down. Just saying youre going to change the habit is
not enough of a commitment. You need to actually write it down,
on paper. Write what habit youre going to change.
5. Make a plan. While youre writing, also write down a plan.
This will ensure youre really prepared. The plan should include
your reasons (motivations) for changing, obstacles, triggers,

1085
support buddies, and other ways youre going to make this a
success. More on each of these below.
6. Know your motivations, and be sure theyre strong. Write
them down in your plan. You have to be very clear why youre
doing this, and the benefits of doing it need to be clear in your
head. If youre just doing it for vanity, while that can be a good
motivator, its not usually enough. We need something stronger.
For me, I quit smoking for my wife and kids. I made a promise to
them. I knew if I didnt smoke, not only would they be without a
husband and father, but theyd be more likely to smoke
themselves (my wife was a smoker and quit with me).
7. Dont start right away. In your plan, write down a start date.
Maybe a week or two from the date you start writing out the
plan. When you start right away (like today), you are not giving
the plan the seriousness it deserves. When you have a Quit
Date or Start Date, it gives that date an air of significance. Tell
everyone about your quit date (or start date). Put it up on your
wall or computer desktop. Make this a Big Day. It builds up
anticipation and excitement, and helps you to prepare.
8. Write down all your obstacles. If youve tried this habit
change before (odds are you have), youve likely failed. Reflect
on those failures, and figure out what stopped you from
succeeding. Write down every obstacle thats happened to you,
and others that are likely to happen. Then write down how you
plan to overcome them. Thats the key: write down your solution
before the obstacles arrive, so youre prepared.
9. Identify your triggers. What situations trigger your current
habit? For the smoking habit, for example, triggers might include
waking in the morning, having coffee, drinking alcohol, stressful
meetings, going out with friends, driving, etc. Most habits have
multiple triggers. Identify all of them and write them in your
plan.

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10. For every single trigger, identify a positive habit youre
going to do instead. When you first wake in the morning,
instead of smoking, what will you do? What about when you get
stressed? When you go out with friends? Some positive habits
could include: exercise, meditation, deep breathing, organizing,
decluttering, and more.
Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any
man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time. - Mark Twain
11. Plan a support system. Who will you turn to when you have
a strong urge? Write these people into your plan. Support forums
online are a great tool as well I used a smoking cessation
forum on about.com when I quit smoking, and it really helped.
Dont underestimate the power of support its really
important.
12. Ask for help. Get your family and friends and co-workers to
support you. Ask them for their help, and let them know how
important this is. Find an AA group in your area. Join online
forums where people are trying to quit. When you have really
strong urges or a really difficult time, call on your support
network for help. Dont smoke a cigarette, for example, without
posting to your online quit forum. Dont have a drop of alcohol
before calling your AA buddy.
13. Become aware of self-talk. You talk to yourself, in your
head, all the time but often were not aware of these thoughts.
Start listening. These thoughts can derail any habit change, any
goal. Often theyre negative: I cant do this. This is too difficult.
Why am I putting myself through this? How bad is this for me
anyway? Im not strong enough. I dont have enough discipline. I
suck. Its important to know youre doing this.
14. Stay positive. You will have negative thoughts the
important thing is to realize when youre having them, and push
them out of your head. Squash them like a bug! Then replace

1087
them with a positive thought. I can do this! If Leo can do it, so
can I! :)
15. Have strategies to defeat the urge. Urges are going to come
theyre inevitable, and theyre strong. But theyre also
temporary, and beatable. Urges usually last about a minute or
two, and they come in waves of varying strength. You just need
to ride out the wave, and the urge will go away. Some strategies
for making it through the urge: deep breathing, self-massage, eat
some frozen grapes, take a walk, exercise, drink a glass of water,
call a support buddy, post on a support forum.
16. Prepare for the sabotagers. There will always be people
who are negative, who try to get you to do your old habit. Be
ready for them. Confront them, and be direct: you dont need
them to try to sabotage you, you need their support, and if they
cant support you then you dont want to be around them.
17. Talk to yourself. Be your own cheerleader, give yourself pep
talks, repeat your mantra (below), and dont be afraid to seem
crazy to others. Well see whos crazy when youve changed your
habit and theyre still lazy, unhealthy slobs!
18. Have a mantra. For quitting smoking, mine was Not One
Puff Ever (I didnt make this up, but it worked more on this
below). When I wanted to quit my day job, it was Liberate
Yourself. This is just a way to remind yourself of what youre
trying to do.
19. Use visualization. This is powerful. Vividly picture, in your
head, successfully changing your habit. Visualize doing your new
habit after each trigger, overcoming urges, and what it will look
like when youre done. This seems new-agey, but it really works.
20. Have rewards. Regular ones. You might see these as bribes,
but actually theyre just positive feedback. Put these into your
plan, along with the milestones at which youll receive them.

1088
21. Take it one urge at a time. Often were told to take it one
day at a time which is good advice but really its one urge at
a time. Just make it through this urge.
22. Not One Puff Ever (in other words, no exceptions). This
seems harsh, but its a necessity: when youre trying to break the
bonds between an old habit and a trigger, and form a new bond
between the trigger and a new habit, you need to be really
consistent. You cant do it sometimes, or there will be no new
bond, or at least it will take a really really long time to form. So,
at least for the first 30 days (and preferably 60), you need to
have no exceptions. Each time a trigger happens, you need to do
the new habit and not the old one. No exceptions, or youll have a
backslide. If you do mess up, regroup, learn from your mistake,
plan for your success, and try again (see the last item on this list).
23. Get rest. Being tired leaves us vulnerable to relapse. Get a lot
of rest so you can have the energy to overcome urges.
24. Drink lots of water. Similar to the item above, being
dehydrated leaves us open to failure. Stay hydrated!
25. Renew your commitment often. Remind yourself of your
commitment hourly, and at the beginning and end of each day.
Read your plan. Celebrate your success. Prepare yourself for
obstacles and urges.
26. Set up public accountability. Blog about it, post on a forum,
email your commitment and daily progress to friend and family,
post a chart up at your office, write a column for your local
newspaper (I did this when I ran my first marathon). When we
make it public not just the commitment but the progress
updates we dont want to fail.
27. Engineer it so its hard to fail. Create a groove thats harder
to get out of than to stay in: increase positive feedback for
sticking with the habit, and increase negative feedback for not
doing the habit.

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28. Avoid some situations where you normally do your old
habit, at least for awhile, to make it a bit easier on yourself. If
you normally drink when you go out with friends, consider not
going out for a little while. If you normally go outside your office
with co-workers to smoke, avoid going out with them. This
applies to any bad habit whether it be eating junk food or
doing drugs, there are some situations you can avoid that are
especially difficult for someone trying to change a bad habit.
Realize, though, that when you go back to those situations, you
will still get the old urges, and when that happens you should be
prepared.
29. If you fail, figure out what went wrong, plan for it, and
try again. Dont let failure and guilt stop you. Theyre just
obstacles, but they can be overcome. In fact, if you learn from
each failure, they become stepping stones to your success.
Regroup. Let go of guilt. Learn. Plan. And get back on that horse.

Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what

remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good
ones. - Benjamin Franklin

1090
4.22 THE KBLER-ROSS GRIEF CYCLE
For many years, people with terminal illnesses were an
embarrassment for doctors. Someone who could not be cured
was evidence of the doctors' fallibility, and as a result the
doctors regularly shunned the dying with the excuse that there
was nothing more that could be done (and that there was
plenty of other demand on the doctors' time).
Elizabeth Kbler-Ross was a doctor in Switzerland who railed
against this unkindness and spent a lot of time with dying
people, both comforting and studying them. She wrote a book,
called 'On Death and Dying' which included a cycle of emotional
states that is often referred to (but not exclusively called) the
Grief Cycle.
In the ensuing years, it was noticed that this emotional cycle
was not exclusive just to the terminally ill, but also other people
who were affected by bad news, such as losing their jobs or
otherwise being negatively affected by change. The important
factor is not that the change is good or bad, but that they
perceive it as a significantly negative event.
The Extended Grief Cycle
The Extended Grief Cycle can be shown as in the chart below,
indicating the roller-coaster ride of activity and passivity as the
person wriggles and turns in their desperate efforts to avoid
the change.
The initial state before the cycle is received is stable, at least in
terms of the subsequent reaction on hearing the bad news.
Compared with the ups and downs to come, even if there is
some variation, this is indeed a stable state.

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And then, into the calm of this relative paradise, a bombshell
bursts...
Shock stage: Initial paralysis at hearing the bad news.
Denial stage: Trying to avoid the inevitable.
Anger stage: Frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion.
Bargaining stage: Seeking in vain for a way out.
Depression stage: Final realization of the inevitable.
Testing stage: Seeking realistic solutions.
Acceptance stage: Finally finding the way forward.

This model is extended slightly from the original Kubler-Ross

model, which does not explicitly include the Shock and Testing
stages. These stages however are often useful to understand
and facilitating change.

1092
Sticking and cycling
Getting stuck
A common problem with the above cycle is that people get
stuck in one phase. Thus a person may become stuck in denial,
never moving on from the position of not accepting the
inevitable future. When it happens, they still keep on denying it,
such as the person who has lost their job still going into the city
only to sit on a park bench all day.
Getting stuck in denial is common in 'cool' cultures (such as in
Britain, particularly Southern England) where expressing anger
is not acceptable. The person may feel that anger, but may then
repress it, bottling it up inside.
Likewise, a person may be stuck in permanent anger (which is
itself a form of flight from reality) or repeated bargaining. It is
more difficult to get stuck in active states than in passivity, and
getting stuck in depression is perhaps a more common ailment.
Going in cycles
Another trap is that when a person moves on to the next phase,
they have not completed an earlier phase and so move
backwards in cyclic loops that repeat previous emotion and
actions. Thus, for example, a person that finds bargaining not to
be working, may go back into anger or denial.
Cycling is itself a form of avoidance of the inevitable, and going
backwards in time may seem to be a way of extending the time
before the perceived bad thing happens.
Source: Elisabeth Kbler-Ross, On Death and Dying, Macmillan,
NY, 1969
http://changingminds.org/disciplines/change_management/ku
bler_ross/kubler_ross.htm

1093
Examples.

Shock and Denial.

"This can't be happening, not to me."; "I don't have true
infertility since I've already had a child."
Denial is a conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts,
information, reality, etc., relating to the situation concerned. It's
a defence mechanism and perfectly natural. Some people can
become locked in this stage when dealing with a traumatic
change that can be ignored.

Anger.
"Why me? After all I've been through. It's not fair!"; "How can
this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"
Anger can manifest in different ways. People dealing with
emotional upset can be angry with themselves, and/or with
others, especially those close to them. Knowing this helps keep
detached and non-judgemental when experiencing the anger of
someone who is very upset.

1094
Bargaining.
"Please God. I would give anything."; "If I don't get pregnant we
will just adopt, either way it will happen."; "I know there must
be a reason this is happening."
Traditionally the bargaining stage for people facing
death can involve attempting to bargain with whatever God the
person believes in. People facing less serious trauma can bargain
or seek to negotiate a compromise. For example "Can we still be
friends?.." when facing a break-up. Bargaining rarely provides a
sustainable solution, especially if it's a matter of life or death.

Depression.
"I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "No matter what I do
it's just not going to happen."; "Why try anymore?"; "Everyone is
moving on without me."
During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to
understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual
may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time
crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to
disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not
recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this
stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.

Acceptance.
"It's going to be okay."; "There's nothing I can do to change it so
why stay bitter?"; "It will happen eventually."
In this last stage, individuals begin to come to terms with
their mortality, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event.

1095
Not everyone even that has gone through infertility, loss of a
loved one, or a preemie may experience these stages. Some are
strong enough to be in acceptance for most of the time...oh gosh
how I wish I could be that strong. Some will deny it until those
two lines appear or until their baby comes home. But I can
guarantee that I have felt each stage and most do. Some days its
easy to accept and other days I just refuse to accept this. Either
way I will be real about those feelings be that good, bad or ugly.
And I refuse to apologize for that.

http://drawingablake.blogspot.com/2011/12/grief-cycle-and-
loss-of-control.html

Recognizing Grief Over the Loss of Income

Shock and denial are the first reactions of people
experiencing unplanned changes.
When people experience a major income loss they go through
certain stages of grief. Figure 2 shows these and what happens at
each stage. People often move back and forth between the stages
and sometimes get stuck at a particular stage for a while.
To express anger in a positive way, people need to change
how they view the situation.
Stage 1 - Shock and Denial
Shock and denial are the first reactions of people experiencing
unplanned changes. At this stage in the loss cycle, it is normal for
people to feel confused and afraid, and to want to place blame.
However, many people are just numb when facing an unplanned
change as if they were on automatic pilot. It is very common for
people to avoid making decisions or taking action at this point.

1096
Figure 2. Stages of the Grief Cycle
People are often unable to function or perform simple, routine
tasks during this stage.
Denial can occasionally be healthy for a short time, but
prolonged denial can have devastating consequences for the
person and for the situation. Denial of something that has
happened or of the pain and fear being experienced is a way in
which people protect themselves when faced with a painful
situation. Continued denial of the pain and fear, however, will
block them from doing something about it.

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Stage 2 - Anger
Anger is a feeling that is often intensely felt during this time.
Anger is identified by feelings of second-guessing, hate, self-
doubt, embarrassment, irritation, shame, hurt, frustration, and
anxiety. People usually understand more clearly what is
happening, but they may look for someone to blame at this stage.
If there is no one on whom to focus the anger or blame, a feeling
of helplessness may take over and the anger may be turned
inside. Some people take it out on themselves by taking
responsibility for a situation over which they have had little
control.
People are often afraid that if they let themselves acknowledge
the anger they feel, they will immediately need to express it and
act on it in a way that they will regret later. However, by not
admitting to themselves and others close to them the loss and
pain they feel, they will be blocked from doing something about
the situation. It will also prevent them from moving on. Some
people get stuck at this stage.
To express anger in a positive way, people need to change how
they view the situation. It is also helpful to talk to others about it
or write down their feelings in order to figure out what they
need to do to make the feelings less intense. Another option is to
turn the anger into energy through an active sport or brisk
physical activity or to express it through playing a musical
instrument.
Stage 3 - Depression and Detachment
The third stage of the loss cycle, depression and detachment, is
characterized by feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and
being overwhelmed. People often feel down, lack energy, and
have no desire to do anything. Withdrawal from activities and
other people is common. Because it is also hard to make

1098
decisions at this stage, ask a family member, friend, or
professional to help you if important decisions need to be made.
Stage 4 - Dialogue and Bargaining
The fourth stage, dialogue and bargaining, is a time when people
struggle to find meaning in what has happened. They begin to
reach out to others and want to tell their story. People become
more willing to explore alternatives after expressing their
feelings. They may, however, still be angry or depressed. People
do not move neatly from one stage to another. Rather, the stages
overlap and people often slip back to earlier stages.
Stage 5 - Acceptance
At this stage, people are ready to explore and consider options.
As the acceptance stage progresses, a new plan begins to take
shape or, at the very least, people are open to new options.
Getting Back to "Normal"
A person's "normal" state of functioning becomes disrupted by a
sudden income loss. It is possible to return to a purposeful state
of functioning after going through the stages described above
and after exploring options and setting a plan. People then begin
to feel secure and in control and have a more positive self-
esteem. People get renewed energy to tackle life again but in
different ways than before the sudden income change. It is
perhaps better to think of the end of the grief cycle as returning
to a meaningful life rather than returning to a "normal" life.
"Normal" at this stage will not be the same as "normal" before
the loss.
Source: University of Minnesota
http://www.extension.umn.edu/distribution/businessmanagem
ent/components/06499c.html

1099
4.13 Knowing and Not Knowing
If I don't know I don't know
I think I know
If I don't know I know
I think I don't know
Laing R D (1970) Knots Harmondsworth; Penguin (p.55)
"He that knows not, and knows not that he knows not is a fool.
Shun him
He that knows not, and knows that he knows not is a pupil.
Teach him.
He that knows, and knows not that he knows is asleep
Wake him.
He that knows, and knows that he knows is a teacher.
Follow him."
(Arabic proverb)
NEIGHBOUR R (1992) The Inner Apprentice London; Kluwer
Academic Publishers. p.xvii
"We know what we know, we know that there are things we do
not know, and we know that there are things we don't know we
don't know"
Donald Rumsfeld (4 Sept 2002) (Woodward, 2004: 171)
It is ironic, perhaps, that the initial insight is allegedly Arabic.
This paper is playing around with a conceit: two senses of the
term "know". However, it is all in a professional cause.

1100
The two senses are those of:
awareness of self, (represented by the vertical red line
in the diagram below) and
knowledge of the world (the horizontal blue line)

There are of course four possible combinations, which are

explored below.
You may find parallels with the witting and willing practice
model, and also with the familiar "unconscious incompetence"
to "unconscious competence" model. which relates primarily to
practical skills: here we are exploring knowledge. Laing's poetic
exploration of its interpersonal convolutions cited above (it goes
on for another 21 pages), and the citation of the idea by
Neighbour (1992) credited as an Arabic proverb demonstrate
that it has a considerable provenance.

1101
Not knowing you don't know
The first possibility is that of being unaware that you don't know
something. This is the "ignorance is bliss" state, enjoyed by
everyone who pontificates about politics in pubs. It is also the
position of many people on "soft" occupations (such as teaching,
or social work) which look from the outside as if "any fool could
do it". (Some do.) And it is engendered by consummate
professionals who make what they do look easy (such as
plasterers and chefs and popular novelists and...).
Many students start from this position, and although the
Neighbour proverb calls them "fools", it is not really fair. Let's go
on
So the first move is often to make learners aware of their
ignorance. This is tricky, in practice. Unless they are a captive
audience it is quite easy to frighten them off. (It is also quite
seductive, because it is a chance to show off your own level of
knowledge or competence.) On the other hand, it is a crucial step
in developing motivation to learn.

1102
There are various ways of doing it.
In my first German lesson, a young teacher recited a poem
to us in German: it sounded great, but we couldn't
understand a word of it, of course. He didn't really need to
do it, because we already knew we didn't know any of it
apart from a couple of phrases picked up from war films.
He was trying to show what we might aspire to, and went
on to explain that. (It must have made an impact because I
can remember the lesson fifty years later.)
You can ask a student (usually either one who is a bit
full of himself and needs to be "taken down a peg", or
one who is mature enough not to be humiliated) to do
something practical in the certainty that he will fail.
Only do this if you are confident that when you do it, as
you will be challenged to, you can manage it yourself.
You can pose a problem which has a seemingly simple
answer (political, economic, legalor in Neighbour's
case, medical), and then show the problems in reaching

1103
 that simple solution, which stem from ignorance of the
context.
The trick is to show something which is (so far) beyond the
students' reach, but not so far beyond it that they will despair.
The second trick is to make it interesting. I have deliberately not
mentioned strategies for doing this in accountancy.
More significantly:
In continuing professional development courses in
particular, you may be challenging survival-oriented
practice in which people have a substantial vested
interest: this is the key to the whole un-
learning/learning process.
Unless you have to do it, don't. Many learners
(particularly those who have signed up for your course
of their own free will) are only too aware of what they
don't know. The last thing they need is for you to rub it
in.
Skill in this area is of course a core competence for
charlatans. Whether self-help gurus who must convince
you of your personal inadequacy or potential ill-health,
religious proselytisers who must convict you of sins
only they believe are sinful, or salespeople who have to
create a "need" for their product, they all have to
manage this stage. Study and learn from themjust
don't believe them.

1104
Knowing you don't know

This move, from "knowing that you don't know" to "knowing

that you know" is what most learning and hence teaching is all
about.

1105
Knowing and not knowing that you know
The interaction between knowing and not knowing that you
know is however more complex and much neglected.
There are two kinds of knowledge (in a third sense) or
practice involved here.
The first is that for which the move to "not knowing
that you know" or "unconscious competence" is the
highest stage of development. This applies to the basic
skills of driving, or knitting; the kind of thing you can
"do without thinking".
The second is where people who have informally
learned a great deal mistakenly put themelves in the
"knowing that they don't know" category because they
have never received any academic or professional
accreditation for their learning. This is the downside of
our qualification-driven culture, which dismisses those
whom Gramsci called "organic intellectuals" because
they do not have the recognition of the formal
educational system.
Neighbour's Arabic proverb enjoins us to "awaken"
someone in this position, which means to take them
back, counter-clockwise on the diagram, to an
awareness of their knowledge. There is a link here with
Mezirow's concept of "transformative learning", in
which education leads to a re-evaluation of life so far.
(There is perhaps a third possibility here, too, which is
the fit with the willing but unwitting category in the
model of practice on this site.)

1106
The problematic expert
The fourth possibility is touched on in the discussion of
expertise.This the person who (wait for it!) knows that she knows
but does not know how she knowsor cannot express it. Ask
about a particularly brilliant bit of practice and you will get a
banal answer which might have come out of the textbook, but
which totally fails to do justice to the complexity of what she has
done. Sometimes that answer will be given because she does not
want to appear a "smart-arse" ("Ass" if you are American, but I
wouldn't wish to confuse you with references to donkeys.)
Sometimes, though, she might claim that it is a matter of "not
being able to put it into words" or even, disconcertingly, of a
"hunch".
She may even be afraid of trying to express her expertise, for fear
that an inadequate exposition will somehow jeopardise fragile
knowledge. Once she has said it, it might become ossified. She
might feel obliged to live up to her exposition and limit that
insight and creativity which goes beyond words.
Some things we can teach, and some we can't.

1107
So that's the whole story. Or is it? Is there any connection
between the "Don't know that you know" stage and the "Don't
know that you don't know" stage? Possibly (but not always).
There may occasionally be a cycle: if you don't know
what you do know, you probably don't know what you
don't know, either. This may be the case for people who
are stuck at a survival learning level. They have learned
to get by with what they know, to the extent that they
do not give themselves credit for it, or are even
unaware of knowing it, as we have discussed. However,
they can't take it any further because it is out of
awareness, so they are unaware of how they could
move on from mere competence or proficiency to real
expertise.
For such people, because they do not know what they
know, they may be unsure of their knowledge, and may
be threatened by the prospect of moving on, which
leads to a degree of resistance to new learning.
The Bottom Line
Clearly we have to get people to realise what they don't know, if
necessary. But fascinating though it is, the inarticulate expertise
of not knowing that you know is a dead end from the learning
and teaching point of view. The only open position, with
potential for development, is that of knowing what you know.
Sources:
http://www.trainer.org.uk/members/theory/
process/stages_of_learning.htm
http://www.neurosemantics.com/Articles/
Unconscious.htm
http://www.nlp.org/glossary.html#U
Dubin, P (1962) 'Human Relations in Administration',
Englewood Cliffs, NJ, Prentice-Hall

1108
Kirkpatrick, D. L. (1971). A practical guide for supervisory
training and development. Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley
Publishing Co.
There's a fascinating exploration of the whole story at
http://www.businessballs.com/consciouscompetencelearn
ingmodel.htm

The medical school at the University of Arizona has taken similar

ideas further with their Curriculum on Medical Ignorance (CMI)
and developed the Q-Cubed; Questions, questioning and
questioners project. Here is their "Ignorance Map", which
identifies:

Known Unknowns: all the things you know you don't

know.
Unknown Unknowns: all the things you don't know you
don't know
Errors: all the things you think you know but don't
Unknown Knowns: all the things you don't know you
know
Taboos: dangerous, polluting or forbidden knowledge
Denials: all the things too painful to know, so you don't

[acknowledgements to Perkins D (2009) Making Learning

Whole: how seven principles of teaching can transform
education San Francisco; Jossey Bass p 241 for the link.]
Ref: WOODWARD B (2004) Plan of Attack New York; Simon and
Schuster

1109
Source:
Atherton J S (2011) Doceo; Knowing and not knowing [On-line:
UK] retrieved 1 February 2012 from
http://www.doceo.co.uk/tools/knowing.htm

Read more: Knowing and not knowing

http://www.doceo.co.uk/tools/knowing.htm#ixzz1l7YFrgpN
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution Non-Commercial
No Derivatives

conscious competence learning model

stages of learning - unconscious incompetence to
unconscious competence - and other theories and models for
learning and change
Here first is the 'conscious competence' learning model and
matrix, and below other other theories and models for learning
and change.
The earliest origins of the conscious competence theory are not
entirely clear, although the US Gordon Training International
organisation has certainly played a major role in defining it and
and promoting its use .The conscious competence model
explains the process and stages of learning a new skill (or
behaviour, ability, technique, etc.) It most commonly known as
the 'conscious competence learning model', sometimes
'conscious competence ladder' or 'conscious competence matrix',
although other descriptions are used, including terminology
relating to 'conscious skilled' and 'conscious unskilled' which is
preferred by Gordon Training. Occasionally a fifth stage or level
is added in more recent adapted versions. Whatever you call it,
the 'conscious competence' model is a simple explanation of how
we learn, and a useful reminder of the need to train people in
stages.

1110
The learner or trainee always begins at stage 1 - 'unconscious
incompetence', and ends at stage 4 - 'unconscious competence',
having passed through stage 2 - 'conscious incompetence' and - 3
'conscious competence'.
Teachers and trainers commonly assume trainees to be at
stage 2, and focus effort towards achieving stage 3, when
often trainees are still at stage 1. The trainer assumes the
trainee is aware of the skill existence, nature, relevance,
deficiency, and benefit offered from the acquisition of the new
skill. Whereas trainees at stage 1 - unconscious incompetence -
have none of these things in place, and will not be able to address
achieving conscious competence until they've become
consciously and fully aware of their own incompetence. This is a
fundamental reason for the failure of a lot of training and
teaching.
If the awareness of skill and deficiency is low or non-existent -
ie., the learner is at the unconscious incompetence stage - the
trainee or learner will simply not see the need for learning. It's
essential to establish awareness of a weakness or training need
(conscious incompetence) prior to attempting to impart or
arrange training or skills necessary to move trainees from stage
2 to 3.
People only respond to training when they are aware of their
own need for it, and the personal benefit they will derive from
achieving it.
Conscious competence learning matrix
The progression is from quadrant 1 through 2 and 3 to 4. It is not
possible to jump stages. For some skills, especially advanced
ones, people can regress to previous stages, particularly from 4
to 3, or from 3 to 2, if they fail to practise and exercise their new
skills. A person regressing from 4, back through 3, to 2, will need

1111
to develop again through 3 to achieve stage 4 - unconscious
competence again.
For certain skills in certain roles stage 3 conscious competence is
perfectly adequate.
Progression from stage to stage is often accompanied by a feeling
of awakening - 'the penny drops' - things 'click' into place for the
learner - the person feels like they've made a big step forward,
which of course they have.
There are other representations of the conscious competence
model. Ladders and staircase diagrams are popular, which
probably stem from the Gordon Training organisation's
interpretations.
Certain brain (personality) types favour certain skills (see for
example the Benziger theory). We each possess natural strengths
and preferences. We each therefore find progression to stage 3,
and particularly to stage 4, easier in some skills rather than in
others. Some people will resist progression even to stage 2,
because they refuse to acknowledge or accept the relevance and
benefit of a particular skill or ability. In these cases it's obviously
not too clever to attempt to progress the person to stage 3.
Instead find the person a more suitable role, or allow an adapted
approach to the current role if appropriate and viable.
People develop competence only after they recognise the
relevance of their own incompetence in the skill concerned.

competence incompetence

conscious 3 - conscious 2 - conscious

competence incompetence
the person achieves the person becomes
'conscious aware of the
competence' in a existence and

1112
skill when they can relevance of the skill
perform it reliably at
the person is
will
therefore also aware
the person will need of their deficiency in
to concentrate and this area, ideally by
think in order to attempting or trying
perform the skill to use the skill
the person can the person realises
perform the skill that by improving
without assistance their skill or ability
in this area their
the person will not
effectiveness will
reliably perform the
improve
skill unless thinking
about it - the skill is ideally the person
not yet 'second has a measure of the
nature' or extent of their
'automatic' deficiency in the
relevant skill, and a
the person should be
measure of what
able to demonstrate
level of skill is
the skill to another,
required for their
but is unlikely to be
own competence
able to teach it well
to another person the person ideally
makes a
the person should
commitment to learn
ideally continue to
and practice the new
practise the new
skill, and to move to
skill, and if
the 'conscious
appropriate commit
competence' stage
to becoming
'unconsciously
competent' at the

1113
 new skill
practise is the
singlemost effective
way to move from
stage 3 to 4

unconscious 4 - unconscious 1 - unconscious

competence incompetence
the skill becomes so the person is not
practised that it aware of the
enters the existence or
unconscious parts of relevance of the skill
the brain - it area
becomes 'second
the person is not
nature'
aware that they have
common examples a particular
are driving, sports deficiency in the area
activities, typing, concerned
manual dexterity
the person might
tasks, listening and
deny the relevance
communicating
or usefulness of the
it becomes possible new skill
for certain skills to
the person must
be performed while
become conscious of
doing something
their incompetence
else, for example,
before development
knitting while
of the new skill or
reading a book
learning can begin
the person might
the aim of the trainee
now be able to teach
or learner and the
others in the skill
trainer or teacher is
concerned, although

1114
 after some time of to move the person
being unconsciously into the 'conscious
competent the competence' stage,
person might by demonstrating
actually have the skill or ability
difficulty in and the benefit that
explaining exactly it will bring to the
how they do it - the person's
skill has become effectiveness
largely instinctual
this arguably gives
rise to the need for
long-standing
unconscious
competence to be
checked periodically
against new
standards

Suggested fifth stage of conscious competence model

As with many simple and effective models, attempts have been
made to add to the conscious competence model, notably a fifth
stage, normally represented as:
'Conscious competence of unconscious competence', which
describes a person's ability to recognise and develop
unconscious incompetence in others.
Personally I think this is a development in a different direction:
ability to recognise and develop skill deficiencies in others
involves a separate skill set altogether, far outside of an
extension of the unconscious competence stage of any particular
skill. As already mentioned, there are plenty of people who

1115
become so instinctual at a particular skill that they forget the
theory - because they no longer need it - and as such make worse
teachers than someone who has good ability at the conscious
competence stage.
Alternatively a fifth stage of sorts has been represented as
follows:
One will only know a maximum of 80% of anything ... and the
remaining 20% is never the same. (Ack W McLaughlin) I
understand (from another mediation colleague in Ireland) that
one Bateman may be the source of the model.
And another suggestion, from David Baume, which I like very
much:
David wrote, May 2004: As a fifth level, I like what I call
'reflective competence'. As a teacher, I thought "If unconscious
competence is the top level, then how on earth can I teach things
I'm unconsciously competent at?" I didn't want to regress to
conscious competence - and I'm not sure if I could even I wanted
to! So, reflective competence - a step beyond unconscious
competence. Conscious of my own unconscious competence, yes,
as you suggest. But additionally looking at my unconscious
competence from the outside, digging to find and understand the
theories and models and beliefs that clearly, based on looking at
what I do, now inform what I do and how I do it. These won't be
the exact same theories and models and beliefs that I learned
consciously and then became unconscious of. They'll include new
ones, the ones that comprise my particular expertise. And when
I've surfaced them, I can talk about them and test them. Nonaka
is good on this (Nonaka, I. (1994). "A Dynamic Theory of
Organizational Knowledge Creation." Organization Science 5: 14-
37. (David Baume, May 2004).
And from Linda Gilbert along similar lines, May 2004:
Responding to your inquiry about "fifth stage of learning model"

1116
on your conscious competence learning model webpage... I've
heard of one that belongs - I think it was called "re-conscious
competence." It indicates a stage where you can operate with
fluency yourself on an instinctive level, but are ALSO able to
articulate what you are doing for yourself and others. That stage
takes attention to process at a meta-cognitive level. Many people
never reach it - we all know experts who can't tell you how
they're doing what they're doing. (Linda Gilbert, Ph.D., May
2004) If you can shed further light on origins of this thinking
please get in touch.
And from John Addy, Aug 2004: "I suggest the 5th stage can be
'complacency.' That is, when the person continues to practise the
skill which has become automatic and second nature, but, over
time, allows bad habits to form. For example, an exemplary
driver makes a silly mistake. Or, a trainer, believing himself or
herself to be an expert, fails to prepare adequately for a training
session and drops a clanger. These are the dangers of thinking
you can do something so easily, you become complacent.
Complacency can also cause problems if the person doesn't keep
up-to-date with the skill. As techniques and approaches move
forward, the person remains behind using set methods which
have perhaps become stale, out-dated or less relevant to today.
In each case above the person must reassess personal
competence (perhaps against a new standard) and step back to
the conscious competence stage until mastery is attained once
again. Complacency provides a useful warning to those who
think they have reached the limit of mastery. It can also
encourage people to search for continuous improvement." (John
Addy, Aug 2004)

1117
From Lorgene A Mata, PhD, December 2004: "First, I think calling
this model 'conscious competence learning model' is not
appropriate or accurate because it gives the impression that the
model considers conscious competence as the highest level of
learning when in fact, it is only the third level. Based on this
model, it is 'unconscious competence' that is the end-goal of
learning. But, calling the model unconscious competence
learning model may not sound fitting either. I therefore suggest
to call this model simply as 'competence leaning model' without
the qualifying term 'conscious'. Secondly, I find this model
applicable mainly if not exclusively to the acquisition of physical
skills or competencies and not to higher mental skills where
conscious, non-repetitive, complex and creative mental
operations are demanded. Thirdly, I believe the highest level of
competence learning is not level 4, 'unconscious competence',
but a higher 5th level which I call 'enlightened competence'. At
this level, the person has not only mastered the physical skill to a
highly efficient and accurate level which does not anymore
require of him conscious, deliberate and careful execution of the
skill but instead done instinctively and reflexively, requiring
minimum efforts with maximum quality output, and is able to
understand the very dynamics and scientific explanation of his
own physical skills. In other words, he comprehends fully and
accurately the what, when, how and why of his own skill and
possibly those of others on the same skill he has. In addition to
this, he is able to transcend and reflect on the physical skill itself
and be able to improve on how it is acquired and learned at even
greater efficiency with lower energy investment. Having fully
understood all necessary steps and components of the skill to be
learned and the manner how they are dynamically integrated to
produce the desired level of overall competence, he is thereby
able to teach the skill to others in a manner that is effective and
expedient. You wrote in your website that this 5th level may be
called 'conscious competence of unconscious competence'. But to
me, this term is too complex and unwieldy to most people. My

1118
suggested label which is 'enlightened competence', I believe, is
more appropriate for this 5th level of competence that indeed
exists and is attainable in some cases." (Lorgene A Mata, PhD,
December 2004)
From Roger Kane, November 2005: "I have been aware of and
using this four level model's concepts for a great number of
years... But, I always felt that there was another level (level 5),
based upon the skills of level 4, that reflected an ability to be
reactively creative. That is, to do for the first time something
never before considered. The ability to intuitively react to a new
situation with an optimally accurate response. The "Wow, I
didn't know I could really go to that level!" experience. I have
occasionally happened upon this in both snow and water skiing,
tennis and driving race cars when there was no time to think
about how to solve a new puzzle, but my instinctive reaction did
so. I have also seen skiers I coach momentarily get there without
understanding why or knowing how to get back there. I suspect
this is what is often referred to as 'being in the flow' or 'in the
zone' and is more dependent on 'allowing' and holistic trust of
the 'body genius' rather than causing from linear thoughts or
inputs. While potential for this level 5 of performance can be
trained and prepared for, few can produce it on demand (i.e.,
Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods). The foundation definitely lies in
level 4 but the results are expressed as the ultimate performance
potential of an individual." (Roger Kane, Director of Education
and Training Sunburst Ski Area, Kewaskum, Wisconsin,
November 2005)
From Mike McGinn, December 2005: "Another suggested parallel
for a further stage beyond 'unconscious competence'... The
Capability Maturity Model* has echoes in numerous disciplines,
and I would suggest that 'optimizing unconscious competence'
or something similar could be appropriate. This to me would
encompass the unconscious operation of the process or delivery
of the task alongside the unconscious measurement and

1119
improvement of the task delivery process. Perhaps that also
introduces another whole layer of variables, though- whether it
is helpful or not is moot!" [*The Capability Maturity Model was it
seems developed by the Software Engineering Institute at
Carnegie-Mellon University; it describes five stages of maturity:
'Initial, Repeatable, Defined, Managed, Optimized', and is a
protected system belonging to the US Mellon financial services
corporation.] (Mike McGinn December 2005)
From Andrew Dyckhoff, January 2007: "My suggestion for the
5th level would be 'Chosen Conscious Competence'. People often
use the driving analogy to explain the model. In the analogy
people normally relate the transition from a learner having to
think: mirror, signal, manoeuvre, engage, etc., to jumping in and
driving off without consciously thinking about the process. When
we go on an advanced driving course we learn that there are
certain things we should ALWAYS CONSCIOUSLY CHECK. These
include looking to see whether there is an idiot coming the other
way through a red light, and stopping so you can see the road
behind the tyres of the car in front of you, etc. The sales example
is that excellent sales people discipline themselves never to
assume and always to check.. To summarise, there are some
elements of what we do that are so critical to successful
performance that the highest level of learning is to choose to
remain consciously competent, as with the advanced driving
analogy: unconscious competence is fine when we are changing
gear, but not when passing through a green light..." (Ack Andrew
Dyckhoff, January 2007)
From Will Taylor, March 2007: "Re '5th stage' - see the ideas in
the diagram. This is more of a spiral model than a hierarchical
matrix. It would seem that mature practice involves a mature
recognition that one is inevitably ignorant of many things one
does not know (i.e., we revisit 'unconscious incompetence'
repeatedly or continually; i.e., 'consciousness of unconscious

1120
incompetence'). Repeatedly, we are continuously rediscovering
'beginner's mind'.
"We revisit conscious incompetence, making discoveries in
the holes in our knowledge and skills, becoming
discouraged, which fuels incentive to proceed (when it does
not defeat). We perpetually learn, inviting ongoing tutelage,
mentoring and self-study (ongoing conscious competence).
We continually challenge our 'unconscious competence' in
the face of complacency, areas of ignorance, unconscious
errors, and the changing world and knowledge base: We
challenge our unconscious competence when we recognize
that a return to unconscious incompetence would be
inevitable. We do this in part by self-study and use of peer
review - such that mature practice encompasses the entire
'conscious competence' model, rather than supercedes it as
the hierarchical model might suggest."

1121
(Courtesy of Will Taylor, Chair, Department of Homeopathic
Medicine, National College of Natural Medicine, Portland, Oregon,
USA, March 2007. Please reference the diagram accordingly if you
use it.)

And these wonderful observations from from Richard Moore,

May 2007: "...I studied with Chris Argyris at Harvard and always
had a bit of discomfort at his notion of 'incompetence.' Most
people will not acknowledge that they are incompetent. They
will, however, acknowledge that they are unaware, possibly
ignorant of something, or simply unmotivated by it. Indeed, until
one has a purpose for a thing, it is simply irrelevant. That then
introduces the issue of power relationships, a debate I had with
Chris. If one person defines another as 'incompetent,' but the
other sees no need for the 'competence,' then the one is imposing
a worldview on the other, which if permitted to prevail is
essentially imperial - or at the least, dominating. This fits the
model which Paulo Freire critiqued in Pedagogy of the
Oppressed and his other works. In the spirit of a 'liberating
praxis' and related notions of empowerment through one's
ability to define one's world and one's self and relations within
it, I would propose 5 stages somewhat along the lines of Will
Taylor's: accidental, intentional, skillful, masterful, and
enlightened. The accidental stage is simply the stage in which
one recognizes no particular need for a skill or competency, but
may come across it accidentally nonetheless. Whether one
chooses or comes to value it is determined by an intentionality
or willful choice ('desire'). That intentionality then can lead to
skillfulness. Skillfulness can become mastery. Mastery has the
potential for enlightenment.
I would not call mastery 'unconscious.' It is simply 'wired in.'
That, literally, occurs when the neuro-cognitive system acquires
new brain cells (e.g., see
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=7431209&sc=
emaf).

1122
This does not mean that one is 'unconscious' but that one's
responses become automatic; about which, one can be highly
conscious. Consequently, 'enlightenment' is an appropriate label
for the stage beyond 'mastery.' This can also be called 'reflective,'
although one is often reflective beginning with intentionality.
The distinction is that 'enlightenment' represents a particular
attainment of higher awareness, whereas reflection per se is the
directing of attention toward an object. I would emphasize the
nature of enlightenment as a dissolution of boundaries to the
point where one is conscious of a higher level of reality in which
self and other become part of a unified field, albeit from the point
of awareness of an enlightened master, as it were. This is that
form of mentoring referred to as guruship (assuming the guru is,
in fact, qualified through this degree of enlightened competence).
What should be apparent is that there is learning distinct from
awareness. One 'learns' through means independent of
awareness, although awareness may accompany learning.
Awareness can also interfere with learning. The two are simply
not the same. One may in fact be a capable teacher with
awareness and lack the actual skill one is teaching. This may be
unusual, but is certainly not unheard of. It can arise with persons
who become disabled, but are still aware, or it may arise with
persons who are aware but never acquired the physical skill.
Certainly Einstein was never 'God' to have thought experiments
enabling him to imagine how 'God' might have designed the
universe. More illustratively, athletes can improve their
performance through visualization. Visualization, in fact, can
improve the efficacy of exercise in general, whether physical or
mental. This should be telling us that awareness and the physical
process of learning occur somewhat independently, albeit
interactively.
Anyhow, I suggest that 'conscious competence' is really just
'learning' in 5 stages, from accidental to enlightened, passing
through intentional, skillful, and masterful. Many other labels can

1123
be applied, as many other cultures have done. The learning must
be accompanied by a corresponding degree of awareness that
then differentiates automatic learning from sentient learning. We
can 'teach' a machine, but enlightenment requires some degree
of 'spiritual' transcendence or insight. Whether artificial
intelligence can attain this is of less concern than the simple
acknowledgement in functional or operational terms that
'enlightenment' is attained through intentionality that unifies
mastery with awareness - even if the mastery in physical terms
is exhibited by someone or something other than the enlightened
master (shades of 'the Force'). Effective leaders in organizations
accomplish this through the organizations. Gurus accomplish
this through their disciples. I would also remark, in closing, that
Buddhism distinguishes the Arhat from the Boddhisattva. Both
are considered 'enlightened,' except the Arhat is essentially
selfish about attaining nirvana, whereas the Boddhisattva sticks
around to bring everyone else along. One might ask if it is truly
'enlightened' to cash in on nirvana without mentoring others.
This is the essential distinction between Hinayana, or 'small boat
(or vessel),' and Mahayana, or 'big boat (or vessel),' in regard to
schools of Buddhism. I like the idea that an 'Enlightened Master'
is one who acts compassionately toward others by mentoring
them."
And a follow-up note from Richard on five stages:
Evelyn Underhill, in her classic work Mysticism, identifies five
stages of development:
1. Awakening
2. Purgation
3. Illumination
4. Dark Night of the Soul
5. Union with the Ultimate
(Courtesy of Richard H Moore, US Dept of Energy Professor,
Assistant Professor of Behavioral Science, Leadership and

1124
Information Strategy Department, Industrial College of the
Armed Forces, National Defense University, Washington, DC, May
2007. Please reference Richard Moore if you use any of his
comments.)
Here is another helpful and interesting perspective from
Mussarat Mashhadi, December 2007: "... I feel there is another
stage which is important; this I believe is the stage in which a
person having reached the fourth level is capable of enhancing
the same skill or may be if required has the ability to retrace his
learning in order to develop a new set of skills for the same
function (type writer vs. computer). So maybe the fifth level can
be enhancement and enrichment stage. For example people who
are computer savvy have to every other month learn, unlearn or
relearn (Toefler, 1991) one or the other skill. To be able to
achieve this there has to be in my opinion, an acceptance about
personal limitations and receptiveness to learn. Having a high
self efficacy (Bandura) might be a factor restricting a person to
the fourth stage only...." (Ack Mussarat Mashhadi, December
2007)
S Baker posed this questioning observation (March 2008), to
which I've added my response afterwards: "... I have made my
living in the equine industry for better than 38 years. I am now
involved in instruction and clinics about riding skills to a high
level. I have a saying that I came across and use frequently
because I run into a lot of people it fits. 'The greatest obstacle to
discovery is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge' by
Daniel J. Boorstin. Hence people that think they know something
or everything and can't/won't learn something new. I don't
doubt I've been there myself. Hopefully I'm into learning and
growth pretty consistently. Where does that fit in with the four
stages of competence?..." My (AC's) reply was: "I would say it's
either a (usually, but not always) negative aspect of unconscious
competence, or a fifth stage (albeit not inevitably following the
prior learning), or perhaps more appropriately stage one

1125
(unconscious incompetence) of a new learning cycle -
unconscious due to ignorance or denial - since the ignorance
concerns a new form of competence or capability."
The above exchange prompted this from C Thompson (April
2008): "...I think the stages are fixed places where people are at a
point in time on a specific topic. People can move through the
stages but there need to be certain elements present for this
progression to take place... they would include the environment
for learning, the teachers skill and style, and most importantly
the student's interest in and reason for learning. There are
probably many other elements. So back to the quote, the person
that "knows" (the illusion of knowledge) does not need to learn.
When a person thinks they are full of knowledge there is no
room for more knowledge and learning stops or is slowed
considerably. Progression from one stage to the next stops or is
slowed considerably. I think this refers less to where someone is
and more toward where they are capable of going..."
This helpful and elegant interpretation of the 5th stage of the
Conscious Competence learning model was submitted by G
Sharples (June 2008): "... I was reading your contributors'
discussions regarding the 5th level of learning and thought I'd
join in with my own definition: The 5th level is achieved when
the individual is able to perform consistently at Level 4, and then
de-construct their experience for both themselves and others, so
each may learn to apply the skill consistently. I like the
suggestions that this stage is called Enlightened Competence..."
The following observations are from S March (Feb 2009), which
my (AC) reactions beneath: "... Re the 5th Step (and beyond): Is
there any any additional element to describe a Reflective
Competence practitioner who knows that, whilst the current job
practice is as good as is available, there must be a better way to
do something - i.e., the eventual output is product/service
innovation that revolutionises the way the world regards and

1126
uses the product or service. This approach may well involve
disregarding the knowledge that has led to the practitioner's
current scale of competence, and possibly requires assumption
of a conscious incompetence state (though conscious
incompetence is not a flattering, or indeed, accurate label for
such an experienced and knowledgable practitoner) so that the
problem can be viewed without any pre-conceptions?..."
The above is an interesting question. The scenario raises the
possibility that learning a new method/skill (in response to
external innovation or demands for example) for an existing area
of conscious/reflective competence might suitably be regarded
as the start of a new Conscious Competence cycle. The last
4th/5th stage of the first cycle is for many people the early
stage(s) of a new cycle of learning in new methods. Conscious
Competence in an existing skill can easily equate to Unconscious
Incompetence in a new method now required to replace the
hitherto consciously competent capability. The Refective
Competence level (suggested fifth level - see Will Taylor's
diagram above) in the first cycle could equate to the Consciously
Incompetent level in the new cycle. Reflective learners possess
expert competence in the subject at a determined skill or
method, but not in different and new methods. So perhaps
representing the learning of new methods for existing expertise
(at say level 4 or 4) in terms of a repeating 4/5-part cycle is a
reasonable way to approach the 'response to external
innovation' scenario, or 'internal innovation' for the same
reasons.
The observations which follow are from M Singh (23 Feb 2009):
"...I have read the discussion especially with reference to the 5th
stage, and have tried to integrate J M Fisher's theory of the Process
of Transition to add extra emotional perspective. When someone
becomes conscious of incompetence, emotions of 'anxiety',
'happiness', 'fear' and or 'denial' may be experienced. Feelings of
'threat' (to previous learning), 'guilt' (at departing from previous

1127
learning) and possibly 'depression' (at having to relearn) can
arise until a firm commitment is made to the new learning. If the
commitment to the new learning is not strong, feelings of
'hostility' or 'disillusionment' can arise. The ability to
demonstrate the skill partially is the beginning of a 'gradual
acceptance', which through practice then naturally leads to
Conscious Competence. A lack of discipline in this area could
repeat emotional sequences of earlier transitions. Mastery at this
stage enables Unconscious Competence and builds confidence to
teach others the skill. This is arguably the fifth 'reflective' stage.
The Cognitive Domain of Blooms Taxonomy offers further useful
perspective, by which we can overlay the Bloom Cognitive
Domain learnings stages onto the Conscious Competence stages:
Bloom's 'Recall' and 'Understand' knowledge fall within
Conscious Incompetence. 'Application' is within Conscious
Competence. 'Analysis' is within Unconscious Competence. The
'create and build' aspects of 'Synthesis' equate to what some
suggest is a 5th stage of the Conscious Competence model.
Bloom's 'Evaluation' is a step beyond this - moving to objective
detachment from the subjective involvement present up to and
included in the Bloom 'Synthesis' stage, equating to the fifth
'reflective' stage of the Conscious Competence model. At the
higher end of the reflective stage, mastery can be directed
outwardly towards innovation for a wider (not self-directed)
purpose, in which the master is critical of even his own
achievements. Two driving factors here are concern for the
greater good and humility regarding success of self." (Edited and
abridged from a longer piece entitled 'Emotions in the Conscious
Competence learning Model' from, and with thanks to, Maanveer
Singh, CPBA, Kingfisher Training Academy, Mumbai, India, 23
Feb 2009.)
I received this amusing contribution from Dr V Kumar (19 Apr
2009): "...Some 20 years ago, a colleague suggested to me that
the 5th stage in the Conscious Competence cycle should be

1128
'Confident Incompetence'. He was referring to some of our
professors and senior teachers, somewhat past their prime..."
The joke is a warning of the dangers of lapsing into complacency
after attaining mastery in anything, and is therefore a very useful
point.
And this, from Lee Freeman (May 2009): "...Regarding the
conscious competence model, I came up with this little thought...
'The unconscious incompetent doesn't know he's incompetent
and when he is competent, is unconscious of his competence.
And when his meta-conscious competence imparts vigilant
omniscience, truly he's a fool when he believes he's omnipotent!
Or maybe he's just unconscious of this"
Here are interesting comments from Charles H Grover (March
2010): "...I have been reading the discussions about adding a 5th
step to this model, and suggest that the first four are simply out
of step. I refer you to the 'He who knows not...' proverb (below).
The old Confucious/Persian/Arabic saying has step three
(Conscious Competence) as the ultimate, while step four
(Unconscious Competence) is the person asleep, and he/she
needs to be woken up. I believe this really makes Will Taylor's
excellent diagram clearer; discovery, learning, practice,
mentorship. Who are we to hold their hands when they are
inviting us to climb on their shoulders? A fifth stage is easier to
define when we get the first four in order..."
Origins and of conscious competence model
It is not clear who originated the very first 'conscious
competence' learning model. As well as various modern authors,
sources as old as Confucius and Socrates are cited as possible
earliest originators.
You will see here that Gordon Training International is popularly
considered to be the originator of the conscious competence
model. The Gordon Training 'Learning Stages' model certainly

1129
matches the definitions within what we know as the conscious
competence model, although it refers to the stages as 'skilled and
unskilled', rather than 'competence and incompetence'.
Interestingly many people prefer the words skilled/unskilled
terms because they are less likely to offend people. Gordon
Training have confirmed to me that they did use the terminology
competent/incompetent prior to redefining the terminology, but
they did not develop the matrix presentation of the concept, and
it remains unclear where the 'competence' originally term came
from, and whether it pre-dated the Gordon model, or was a
subsequent interpretation. The California-based Gordon
Training organisation, founded by Dr Thomas Thomas Gordon,
states that their Learning Stages model (called 'The Four Stages
for Learning Any New Skill') was developed by former GTI
employee, Noel Burch over 30 years ago. To what extent GTI and
Noel Burch based their Learning Stages concept on earlier ideas
is not clear - perhaps none, perhaps a little. Whatever, Gordon
Training International certainly seem today to be the most
commonly referenced source in connection with the conscious
competence ('skilled/unskilled learning stages') theory.
Here are some other suggestions and comments about the
conscious competence model's origins.
Many people compare the Conscious Competence model with
Ingham and Luft's Johari Window, which is a similarly elegant
2x2 matrix. Johari deals with self-awareness; Conscious
Competence with learning stages. The models are different, and
Ingham and Luft most certainly were not responsible for the
Conscious Competence concept.
Some know the conscious competence matrix better as the
'conscious competence learning ladder', and I've received a
specific suggestion (ack Sue Turner) that the learning model was
originated in this 'ladder' form by someone called Kogg;

1130
however, this is where that particular trail starts and ends;
unless you know better...
Some believe that W C Howell was responsible for Conscious
Competence in its modern form - apparently the model can be
found in W C Howell and E A Fleishman (eds.), Human
Performance and Productivity. Vol 2: Information Processing and
Decision Making. Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum; 1982. (Thanks A Trost)
Other origin suggestions are as follows (the www.learning-
org.com message board contains much on the subject):
Linda Adams, president of Gordon Training International
suggested that the "Learning Stages (model) i.e., unconsciously
unskilled, consciously unskilled, consciously skilled,
unconsciously skilled ... was developed by one of our employees
and course developers (Noel Burch) in the 1970s and first
appeared in our Teacher Effectiveness Training Instructor Guide
in the early 70s..."
The model has been a part of all of GTI's training programs since
that time, but they never added a fifth stage, and did not devise
the matrix representation, the origins of which remain a
mystery. Separately Linda has kindly informed me (August
2006) that Noel Burch used the 'competence/incompetence'
terminology prior to redefining it as 'skilled/unskilled' so as to
fit better with their training. It is not known what Noel Burch's
prior notions, or influences in developing the model (if there
were any), might have been.
The following suggestions for the most part actually pre-date the
above details about Gordon Training but are nevertheless
interesting as regards other reference points and possible earlier
origins.
Kenn Martin suggested the originator is identified by Michael A.
Konopka, Professor of Leadership and Management Army
Management Staff College Fort Belvoir, Virginia, as being DL

1131
Kirkpatrick, 1971, (presumably Donald Kirkpatrick, originator
of the Kirkpatrick Learning Evaluation Model) from 'A Practical
Guide for Supervisory Training and Development', Reading, MA:
Addison-Wesley Publishing Co.
A suggestion attributed by Bob Williams to Paul Denley, who "...
writes about his learning in terms of a movement from
Unconscious Incompetence, Conscious Incompetence,
Unconscious Competence and Conscious Competence........." goes
on to say that "...Paul's reference to this model is: P. Dubin
(1962) from Human Relations in Administration, Englewood
Cliffs, NJ, Prentice-Hall."
Bob Williams also includes a suggestion by Susan Gair: "... I have
been interested for a long time to know the source of this adult
learning model (unconscious incompetence etc). I have a
document which discusses it, and then cites Howell 1977, p38-
40..."
Development and conflict resolution expert Bill McLaughlin
suggests Bateman is the Conscious Competence model
originator. Any additional information about this would be
gratefully received. (See Tony Thacker's comments below)
David Hurst, Ontario-based speaker, writer and consultant on
management, has looked for origins of the conscious competence
model, and suggests that the first mention he could find was in
an interview with W Lewis Robinson in the Personnel Journal v
53, No. 7 July 1974 pages 538-539, in which Robinson cited the
four categories (UC/IC, C/IC, C/C and UC/C) in the context of
training, and pointed out that UC/C practitioners often weren't
effective as teachers. Hurst says the next mention was in an
article by Harvey Dodgson "Management Learning in Markstrat:
The ICL Experience", Journal of Business Research 15, 481-489
(1987), which used Kolb's learning styles and then showed the
four conscious competence categories in a cycle but gave no
references for it. Hurst corresponded with Dodgson but never

1132
got to the bottom of where the model came from. Hurst says also
that Maslow has been suggested as a possibile original source
but that he's not been able to find reference in Maslow's
principle works.
And from Andrew Newton, UK consultant trainer (Jan 2005):
"When I came across the conscious competence model, it seemed
to fit my counselling skills development: Initially couldnt do it
and was unaware that I couldnt (unconscious incompetence). I
then trained with Relate and realized I wasnt very good
(conscious incompetence). I worked hard and improved
(conscious competence) until I found increasingly that I did this
naturally in my work with colleagues and students (unconscious
competence). I continued to use these skills (I thought, quite
effectively) but realized years later, when I went on more
training, that I was in fact quite rusty and had regressed into
unconscious incompetence again (from 4 to 1). I would suggest
that, unless you are a reflective practitioner, you run the risk of
this dramatic shift (how many car drivers are not as good as they
think when they have been driving for 30 years?). This may be
similar to David Baumes 'reflective competence'. " (Ack A
Newton)
Carole Schubert suggests (Jan 2005) the following: The
unconsciously competent/consciously competent model I have
known for many years as a skills development framework. I feel
that a final category adds completeness, and use the analogy of
learning to drive a car to explain it:
non-driver = unconscious incompetence
beginner = conscious incompetence
just passed driving test = conscious competence
driver who gets to work without remembering the drive (or
drunk driver!!) = unconscious competence
The fifth level is the advanced driver who is processing what is
happening 'in the here and now' without their cognisance

1133
interfering with their abilities; understanding why they are
doing what they are doing and making conscious subtle changes
in light of this understanding. Carole Schubert also points out a
reference by worldtrans.org to the fifth level, which the
unidentified writer calls: 'meta-conscious competence',
whereby a capability is mastered to the point that the
practitioner is consciously aware at all times of what
unconscious or sub-conscious abilities he/she is using, and is
able to analyse, adapt and augment their activity in other ways.
This inerpretation is consistent with many other people's ideas
that the fifth level represents a level of cognisance, which is
above and beyond the fourth level of 'subconscious automation'.
Furthermore, (Carole Schubert is another to suggest that) Dr
Thomas Gordon, founder of Gordon Training International,
originally developed the Conscious Competence Learning Stages
Model in the early 1970s, when it first appeared in Gordon's
'Teacher Effectiveness Training Instructor Guide'. Its
terminology was then unconsciously unskilled, consciously
unskilled, consciously skilled, unconsciously skilled, and there
was no fifth level. (Ack C Schubert)
And this train-the-trainer perspective, from James Matthews
(Feb 2005), who points out that bringing skills back into
(keeping skills at) conscious competence is necessary where a
person needs to maintain vigilance, or needs to do something
different, notably correct bad habits, or to keep skills fresh and
relevant. In these cases moving skills from unconscious
competence into conscious competence is a necessary step.
Indeed certain types of skills - especially those which concern
safety - should arguably be maintained within the consciously
competence stage, and never be encouraged to 'progress' to
unconscious competence. (Ack James Matthews)
This from Marcia Corenman (Feb 2005): "The Performance
Potential Model bears a resemblance to the Dimensional Model
that was developed in the late 1940s by psychologists Coffey,

1134
Freedman, Leary, and Ossorio. In the 1950s the Kaiser
foundation and the US Public Health Service sponsored research
projects which were published in 1957. Since then the
Dimensional Model has been demonstrated as a valid
classification of interpersonal behavior and is a dependable tool
for understanding that behavior. I learned about this model in a
book 'Leadership Through People Skills' by Robert E. Lefton,
Ph.D., and Victor R. Buzzotta, Ph.D. 2004 by Psychological
Associates, Inc." (Ack Marcia Corenman)
Anita Leeds suggests (Mar 2005) points out the similarity and
potential influence of RH Dave's 'Psychomotor Domain' learning
stages model (1970), used in teaching manual skills and part of
Bloom's Taxonomy, and which provides an interesting
comparison alongside the conscious competence four-stage
model: According to Dave's theory, the psychomotor learning
domain emphasises physical skills, coordination, and use of the
motor-skills. Development of these skills requires practice and is
measured in terms of speed, precision, distance, procedures, or
techniques in execution. There are five major categories in RH
Dave's model, whose five stages, given certain learner attitude
and circumstances, could just about be argued overlay the four
stages of the conscious competence model:
1. Imitation: Observes and patterns behavior after someone
else. Performance may be of low quality.
2. Manipulation: Performs skill according to instruction rather
than observation.
3. Develop Precision: Reproduces a skill with accuracy,
proportion and exactness; usually performed independently
of original source.
4. Articulation: Combines more than one skill in a sequence,
achieving harmony and internal consistency.
5. Naturalization: Has a high level of performance. Performance
becomes automatic. Completes one or more skills with ease.
Creativity is based on highly developed skills.

1135
Rey Carr adds (Mar 2005): "Back in the early 1970s I taught
classes called Parent Effectiveness Training. I was trained as an
instructor by (and is another to suggest) Tom Gordon, probably
now called the Gordon Effectiveness Institute. Trainers often met
together to discuss various issues associated with experiences
and improving the curriculum. One of our group talked about
four learning stages as unconscious incompetent through
unconscious competent. However, I came up with a different
model at the time because we thought the language of that four
stage model might be too jargon like for the parents we worked
with in the classes. The model I developed, which we then
adapted for our training materials was also a four stage model,
but the stages were (are) unskilled, skilled, competent,
expert. In the unskilled stage the learner didn't know what to
do, why it might be necessary or valuable to use the skill and if
they did try it, would give up very quickly if encountering any
difficulty whatsoever. In the skilled stage the learner would be
able to perform the skill with some consistency, but often did so
in a robotic or formulaic fashion. In the competent stage the
learner was able to perform the skill with great consistency, but
was mostly a clone of the person who taught them how to do it.
The learner strongly resisted alternative ways to perform the
skill and was strongly connected to the original teacher. In the
expert stage the learner finally found his or her own voice or
style and was continually modifying the skill to fit circumstances,
new learning, and context. Thus while the group of us started out
using the unconscious competence model, eventually each of us
(like myself) went past the wording of the model and became
"expert" in learning stages (no longer needing to explain it the
same way we originally heard it..)" (Ack Rey Carr)
Jillian Duncan suggests (April 2005) the conscious competence
model relates to the work of Professor Albert Bandura, a
pioneer of socil cognitive theory, human efficacy and 'mastery'.
(Ack J Duncan) [Following on from this suggestion I asked

1136
Professor Bandura for his comments about the origins of the
conscious competence model and he replied (15 Apr) "I am not
familiar with the model you describe," which effectively
eliminates Professor Bandura from the list of possible
originators... (AC)]
And another reference to Tom Gordon (from Ingrid Crosser,
Australia, April 2005) "... Regarding your question about the
origins of the Conscious Competence Learning Model, it might
help you to know I came accross the same concept with slightly
different wording in the Parent Effectiveness and the Teacher
Effectiveness Training courses by Thomas Gordon in the late 70s.
It was referred to as the Unconsciously Unskilled to
Unconsciously Skilled stages of learning. I still use it today in my
group work with parents regarding parenting. (Ack Ingrid
Crosser)
Tom Gagnon wrote (April 2006) "I have experienced the
'conscious-competent' material here in Minnesota, USA. It is used
for sales training at the Larry Wilson Learning Center in
Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA. I do not know if Larry Wilson
developed the material or modified it to meet his training
programs." (Ack Tom Gagnon)
Robert Wright suggests (July 2006) that the model can be traced
back to Holmes and Rahe. (Holmes and Rahe are more usually
associated with the Holmes-Rahe crisis/stress life changes scale
- if anyone has knowledge about any work of theirs which relates
to the conscious competence stages then please let me know).
Tina Thuermer (August 2006) is another suggesting Gordon
Training origins: "I think what you are referring to is 'Gordon's
Skill Development Ladder', which is used by Performance
Learning Systems in training teachers in peer coaching. I have
also used it with grad students becoming teachers, and with my
11th and 12th grade students. It's a staircase with the first one
being 'Unconsciously Unskilled' (the fantasy stage - 'Oh, I can do

1137
this, I've been taught, teaching doesn't look too hard'), the
second being 'Consciously Unskilled,' (survival stage: 'Oh my
God, what have I gotten myself into - this is so much harder than
I thought.'), the third being 'Consciously Skilled' (or the
competence stage: 'I know what to do, and I am concentrating
very hard and on a very conscious level to use the techniques I
know I need to be successful') and the final, one, Unconsciously
Skilled (mastery stage: 'I don't have to be consciously operating
all the time - some of the techniques and practices I have
acquired are now wired into me, some of my skills are automatic
- I can save my conscious energy for the ones I'm still working on
developing.'). He (or she) also posits the existence of the
'Unconsciously Talented' - those annoying people who are really
good at something from the beginning - they are wired for that
activity." (Ack Tina Thuermer, Washington International School,
Washington DC)
Tony Thacker made the following contribution (October 2006)
in reference to the above comments about Bateman being a
possible origin. "In the item on the four stages of learning
(conscious competence model) you ask for references to
'Bateman'... Did your original informant perhaps mean Gregory
Bateson? In 'Steps to an Ecology of Mind' (page 293) Bateson
describes five stages of learning: 'learning three' seems to
correspond to the process of becoming conscious of what is
going on when we are operating in unconscious competence;
Bateson's five stages of learning are:
Zero learning is characterised by specificity of response,
which, right or wrong, is not subject to correction
Learning I is change in specificity of response by correction of
errors within a set of alternatives
Learning II is change in the process of Learning I, eg, a
corrective change in the set of alternatives from which choice
is made, or a change in how the sequence of experience is
punctuated

1138
 Learning III is change in the process of Learning II, eg, a
corrective change in the sets of alternatives from which
choice is made (Bateson goes on here to say that 'to demand
this level of performance of some men and mammals is
sometimes pathogenic')
Learning IV would be change in Learning III, but, says
Bateson, probably does not occur in any living organism on
this Earth
Sam Webbon offered this additional perspective: "...As regards
the model's uncertain origins, the suggested link to Buddhism
seemed fitting... True enlightenment involves acting
compassionately towards and mentoring others... I like this ethic
and can imagine that the author of the Conscious Competence
model did too... The absence of ownership of the model is
consistent with the Buddhist philosophy of sharing, mentoring
and encouraging others, as would a bodhisattva..." (Thanks Sam
Webbon, May 2010)
He who knows not...
Aside from these discussions, there are indications that the
model existed in similar but different form. Various references
can be found to an ancient Oriental proverb, which inverts the
order of the highest two states:
He who knows not, and knows not that he knows not, is a fool -
shun him, (= Unconscious Incompetent)
He who knows not, and knows that he knows not is ignorant -
teach him, (= Conscious Incompetent)
He who knows, and knows not that he knows, is asleep - wake
him, (= Unconscious Competent)
But he who knows, and knows that he knows, is a wise man -
follow him. (= Conscious Competent)
This is similar to the Conscious Competence model, but not the
same. It is expressing a different perspective.

1139
Gordon Training International (as they are now called) clearly
originated their own version of this model in the early 1970s.
However we do not know where and when the 'conscious
competence' terminology originated, nor the origins of the 2x2
matrix presentation, and whether these aspects pre-dated of
followed GTI's work.
Prochaska and Di Clemente's stages of change model
Initially developed in the field of personal counselling and
clinical therapy during the 1980s and 90s, Prochaska and
DiClemente's personal change methodology is now adapted for
various personal therapeutic, healthcare and clinical
interventions, and is also transferable to facilitating personal
change in work and management areas, especially for
developmental situations, as distinct from mandatory or
disciplinary situations which usually necessarily require a more
prescriptive and firmer approach.
The 'Stages of Change' model was developed by Prochaska and
Di Clemente in association with their 'motivational interviewing
algorithm', which is a staged and (suggested) scripted approach
to therapeutic discussion or couselling - entailing key aspects of:
validation of experience and feelings
confirmation of decision-making control with the
patient/subject
acknowledgement of the reality of the challenge
clarification of options and implications, and
encouragement to progress in small steps,
within which an assessment of the other person's readiness
to attempt change is crucial.

For now, here's the basic structure of the Stages of Change

model. I intend to present a more detailed interpretation of these
ideas in the future, meanwhile this is a brief summary. The

1140
Stages of Change model very sensibly breaks down the dynamics
and process of personal change into several steps that we can
see as conditional and inter-dependent. Thus we are reminded
that meaningful and sustainable personal change cannot be
imposed or forced arbitrarily. Successful personal change
depends on a careful response to individual situations and
perceptions - in which the role of the helper or coach (or
supervisor or manager or boss, whatever) is to assess,
illuminate, inform, encourage and enable. There are actually
some interesting overlaps with aspects of the conscious
competence model.
The Prochaska and DiClemente stages of change are typically
defined as:
1. Pre-contemplation
2. Contemplation
3. Preparation
4. Action
5. Maintenance/Relapse
This is a beautifully elegant model, in which the steps make
complete sense, and as importantly, the responses and initiatives
of the helper/coach are appropriate and pragmatic according to
the stage and the individual. One might argue that this states the
obvious for any coaching or change-enabling methodology, but
sometimes the simplest things are not actually so simple to do
without a reference of some sort.
Prochaska and DiClemente's stages of change theory forms the
basis of the Transtheoretical Model - a more complex theory to
be covered here separately in due course.
Solution-focused brief therapy (SFT, or brief therapy, or solution
focused coaching)
A relatively modern methodology, growing in popularity. The
concept and therapy can be practised one-to-one, or self-taught

1141
and self-applied. The emphasis is strongly on quick forward-
looking intervention, contrasting with much traditional therapy
which looks back and seeks to find problems and causes, which
for many can become traumatic, negative, and painstakingly
slow, not to mention expensive.
Instead SFT, or 'Brief Therapy', focuses on solutions and change,
in an individual and pragmatic way.
There are clear overlaps with ideas found in NLP and
hypnotherapy.

STEPPPA (also STEPPA)

The STEPPPA method (alternatively STEPPA) is represented by
the acronym made from Subject, Target, Emotion, Perception,
Plan, Pace, Adapt/Act. STEPPPA is a coaching model (notably in
life-coaching in a business context) advocated by expert coach
Angus McLeod, which is now central to much UK formal
accredited life-coaching training. Based partly on NLP (Neuro-
Linguistic programming) principles, the STEPPPA process
entails:
1. Subject - validating the subject (the issue or matter) that is
the focus of the person being coached (coachee)
2. Target - validating or helping to establish the specific target
(or goal) of the coachee
3. Emotion - ensure emotional context is addressed and
resolved relating to the coachee, the issue, and the target,
which if appropriate should be re-evaluated
4. Perception - widen perception and choice in the mind of the
coachee
5. Plan - help the coachee establish a clear plan (process with
steps, not choices),
6. Pace - and pace (timescale and milestones); or perhaps a
timeline that incorporates both plan and pace

1142
7. Adapt/Act - review plan, adapt if necessary, before
committing to action.

Egan's three-stage change model

Gerard Egan's three-stage change model is used especially in
coaching.
Essentially for enabling self or another person to:
1. Explore personal history and reflect on opportunities.
2. Explore what personal success would be like, suggesting
choices, through considering results and implications.
3. Decide and proceed with implementation according to what
is realistic.
More coming. Contributions and expansion welcome. My thanks
to Phil Nathan for raising this.

Erik erikson's eight stages of human (psychosocial) development

Erik Erikson published his remarkable eight stage theory of
human development in the 1950s. It is also referred to as the
'epigenetic principle', in which our passage through eight
'psychosocial crises' influences our growth and personality,
ideally resulting in a tendency towards the positive possible
outcomes at each stage.

1. 0-1 yrs Infant Trust v Mistrust

Autonomy v
2. 2-3 Toddler
Shame/Doubt

3. 3-6 Preschool Initiative v Guilt

4. 6-12 School Industry v Inferiority

1143
5. 12-18 Adolescent Identity v Role Confusion

Intimacy (relationships) v
6. 18-30 Young Adult
Isolation

Generativity (giving) v
7. 30-50 Mid Adult
Stagnation

Integrity (acceptance) v
8. 50+ Late Adult
Despair

This is a brief summary of the model, not a full explanation. Ages

ranges vary for different people.
Erikson's human development theory is a powerful model for
parenting, teaching, and understanding self and other people,
young and old.
Parallels can be seen with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.
Elisabeth kbler-ross's stages of grief
In detail on the Elisabeth Kbler-Ross 'Grief Cycle' essentially the
model explains the stages of personal change related to
impending death and dealing with bereavement - and all sorts of
other personal traumatic change - as follows:
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
(Elisabeth Kbler-Ross, 1969.)

1144
Reynold's model of developing competence
The learner passes through stages, each prompting a release of
energy:
1. help!
2. have a go
3. hit and miss
4. sound
5. relative mastery
6. second nature
(Adapted by James Atherton, thank you James. See the wonderful
teaching and learning materials on James Atherton's websites.)
Change equation
Various interpretations exist. The basic idea is that people will
only change when:
the combination of the desire for change, the vision of the
change, and the knowledge of the change process is greater
than the value of leaving things as they are.
This can alternatively be expressed as dissatisfaction + vision +
change process = the cost of change (Managing Complex
Change, Beckhard and Harris, 1987).

John fisher's process of personal change

A more complex model involving positive and negative change
options:
1. anxiety (can I deal with this change that I'm facing) -
potentially leading negatively to denial
2. happiness (something's going to change)
3. fear (of imminent personal change)
4. threat (from reactions of others to the new 'me') - potentially
leading to disillusionment

1145
5. guilt (for previous behaviour) - potentially leading negatively
to depression and thereafter hostility
6. gradual acceptance (I can see myself in the future)
7. moving forward (this can work and be good)

See the John Fisher Personal Change webpage.

See also
Erik Erikson's Psychosocial Theory of Human Development
Howard Gardner's Multiple Intelligences Theory and the VAK
(visual auditory kinesthetic) learning styles inventory
Bloom's Taxonomy or Learning Domains
Donald Kirkpatrick's Learning Evaluation Model
David Kolb's Learning Styles Model
Motivation
Process of personal change
John Fisher's transition curve - the stages of personal
transition - and introduction to personal construct
psychology
Originally presented at the Tenth International Personal
Construct Congress, Berlin, 1999, and subsequently developed in
his work on constructivist theory in relation to service provision
organisations at Leicester University, England, John Fisher's
model of personal change - The Transition Curve - is an excellent
analysis of how individuals deal with personal change.
This model is an extremely useful reference for individuals
dealing with personal change and for managers and
organizations helping staff to deal with personal change.

1146
John Fisher's personal transition curve
Anxiety
The awareness that events lie outside one's range of
understanding or control. I believe the problem here is that
individuals are unable to adequately picture the future. They do
not have enough information to allow them to anticipate
behaving in a different way within the new organization. They
are unsure how to adequately construe acting in the new work
and social situations.
Happiness
The awareness that one's viewpoint is recognised and shared by
others. The impact of this is two-fold. At the basic level there is a
feeling of relief that something is going to change, and not
continue as before. Whether the past is perceived positively or
negatively, there is still a feeling of anticipation, and possibly
excitement, at the prospect of improvement. On another level,
there is the satisfaction of knowing that some of your thoughts
about the old system were correct (generally no matter how well
we like the status quo, there is something that is unsatisfactory
about it) and that something is going to be done about it. In this
phase we generally expect the best and anticipate a bright future,
placing our own construct system onto the change and seeing
ourselves succeeding. One of the dangers in this phase is that of
the inappropriate psychological contract. We may perceive more
to the change, or believe we will get more from the change than
is actually the case. The organization needs to manage this phase
and ensure unrealistic expectations are managed and redefined
in the organizations terms, without alienating the individual.

1147
Fear
The awareness of an imminent incidental change in one's core
behavioural system. People will need to act in a different manner
and this will have an impact on both their self-perception and on
how others externally see them. However, in the main, they see
little change in their normal interactions and believe they will be
operating in much the same way, merely choosing a more
appropriate, but new, action.
Threat
The awareness of an imminent comprehensive change in one's
core behavioural structures. Here clients perceive a major
lifestyle change, one that will radically alter their future choices
and other people's perception of them. They are unsure as to
how they will be able to act/react in what is, potentially, a totally
new and alien environment - one where the "old rules" no longer
apply and there are no "new" ones established as yet.
Guilt
Awareness of dislodgement of self from one's core self
perception. Once the individual begins exploring their self-
perception, how they acted/reacted in the past and looking at
alternative interpretations they begin to re-define their sense of
self. This, generally, involves identifying what are their core
beliefs and how closely they have been to meeting them.
Recognition of the inappropriateness of their previous actions
and the implications for them as people can cause guilt as they
realise the impact of their behaviour.
Depression
This phase is characterised by a general lack of motivation and
confusion. Individuals are uncertain as to what the future holds
and how they can fit into the future "world". Their
representations are inappropriate and the resultant

1148
undermining of their core sense of self leaves them adrift with no
sense of identity and no clear vision of how to operate.
Disillusionment
The awareness that your values, beliefs and goals are
incompatible with those of the organization. The pitfalls
associated with this phase are that the employee becomes
unmotivated, unfocused and increasingly dissatisfied and
gradually withdraws their labour, either mentally (by just "going
through the motions", doing the bare minimum, actively
undermining the change by criticising/complaining) or
physically by resigning.
Hostility
Continued effort to validate social predictions that have already
proved to be a failure. The problem here is that individual's
continue to operate processes that have repeatedly failed to
achieve a successful outcome and are no longer part of the new
process or are surplus to the new way of working. The new
processes are ignored at best and actively undermined at worst.
Denial
This stage is defined by a lack of acceptance of any change and
denies that there will be any impact on the individual. People
keep acting as if the change has not happened, using old
practices and processes and ignoring evidence or information
contrary to their belief systems.
It can be seen from the transition curve that it is important for an
individual to understand the impact that the change will have on
their own personal construct systems; and for them to be able to
work through the implications for their self perception. Any
change, no matter how small, has the potential to impact on an
individual and may generate conflict between existing values and
beliefs and anticipated altered ones.

1149
One danger for the individual, team and organization occurs
when an individual persists in operating a set of practices that
have been consistently shown to fail (or result in an undesirable
consequence) in the past and that do not help extend and
elaborate their world-view. Another danger area is that of denial
where people maintain operating as they always have denying
that there is any change at all. Both of these can have detrimental
impact on an organization trying to change the culture and focus
of its people.
John M Fisher 2000 updated 2003 (disillusionment stage added).
References: The Person In Society: Challenges To A
Constructivist Theory, Geissen, Psychosozial-Verlag, and George
Kelly's Personal Construct Psychology Theories.
In detailing John Fisher's Transition Curve here it is appropriate
to acknowledge the quite separate and independent work of
Ralph Lewis and Chris Parker, who described a change concept
also called 'Transition Curve' in their paper 'Beyond The Peter
Principle - Managing Successful Transitions', published in the
Journal of European Industrial Training, 1981. The Lewis-Parker
'Transition Curve' model approaches personal change from a
different perspective to the Fisher model, and is represented in a
seven stage graph, based on original work by Adams, Hayes and
Hopson in their 1976 book Transition, Understanding and
Managing Personal Change.
The Lewis-Parker 'Transition Curve' seven stages are
summarised as follows:
1. Immobilisation - Shock. Overwhelmed mismatch:
expectations v reality.
2. Denial of Change - Temporary retreat. False competence.
3. Incompetence - Awareness and frustration.
4. Acceptance of Reality - 'Letting go'.

1150
5. Testing - New ways to deal with new reality.
6. Search for Meaning - Internalisation and seeking to
understand.
7. Integration - Incorporation of meanings within behaviours.
The Lewis-Parker 'Transition Curve' contains interesting
parallels at certain stages with the 'Conscious Competence'
learning model, which is another helpful perspective for
understanding change and personal development.
John Fisher's personal change model - questions and answers
Here are some helpful questions and answers which John Fisher
provided regarding his personal change 'Transition Curve' model
which is described above and featured on the diagrams linked
from this page:
1) How do we recognize what phases we are in?
Part of the problem is that we do not recognise which element of
the curve we may be in. The goal of the 'manager'/change agent
is to help make the transition as effective and painless as
possible. By providing education, information, support, etc. we
can help people transition through the curve and emerge on the
other side. One of the dangers is that once we are caught up in
the emotion of the change we may miss the signs of threat,
anxiety, etc. and 'react'/cope by complaining or attempting to
make things as they were (and also increase our stress levels as a
result).
2) Does everyone go through all the 9 phases, or will there
be people who will say, begin their personal transition from
the depression stage instead of the anxiety stage?
I would argue that we transit through all stages (although the old
caveat of some of these stages may be extremely quickly
traversed and not consciously recognisable applies). In the main
the theory proposed a linear transition and each stage builds on

1151
the last so we can see our perception escalating in
'severity'/importance as we go into the trough of depression via
a small impact on our sense of self (anxiety) through a greater
realisation of impact/meaning (fear, threat) and then an
understanding that (potentially) our core sense of self has been
impacted and our 'self belief system' undermined to an extent
(guilt, depression). Now if someone is going through multiple
transitions at the same time these could have a cumulative
impact and people could go through the initial stages almost
simultaneously - it then becomes a case of more
'evidence'/information supporting previous negative self image
and compounding the impression.
3) Is it possible that some people might skip some phases, as
in, after the anxiety phase, they go on to the fear phase,
instead of the happiness phase?
The happiness phase is one of the more interesting phases and
may be (almost) passed through without knowing. In this phase
it is the "Thank Goodness, something is happening at last!"
feeling coupled with the knowledge that we may be able to have
an impact, or take control, of our destiny and that if we are
lucky/involved/contribute things can only get better. If we can
start interventions at this stage we can minimise the impact of
the rest of the curve and virtually flatten the curve. By involving,
informing, getting 'buy in' at this time we can help people move
through the process.
4) Do the phases take place in the particular order that you
have published?
I have not undertaken any structured experimental research per
se, however anecdotal and 'participant observation' would imply
that this is a fairly robust model. It is also partially based on
Elisabeth Kbler-Ross's bereavement concept (five stages of
grief model) which has widespread acceptance. However...

1152
5) How does the transition take place? For instance, suppose
I know that I am in the anxiety phase. So when does it transit
into the next one, that is, the happiness phase?
As with question 1, it is more a case of helping people through
the process as effectively as possible. Also each person will
experience transition through the curve at slightly different
speeds (and we may be at different places on different curves -
depending on just what is happening to us at the time). As above,
much of the speed of transition will depend on the individual's
self perception, locus of control, and other past experiences, and
how these all combine to create their anticipation of future
events. Much of the transition is done subconsciously. It may not
be initially noticeable and only becomes clear if we look back and
reflect on our situation. If we do adopt an introspective approach
and recognise where we are in the process, our reaction will
depend on our personal style of interacting with our
environment and how 'proactive' we feel we can be at seeking
out support, or leaving the organisation, as appropriate.
Obviously should we feel disempowered this may well cause us
to descend further down the slide into a deeper depression;
reinforced by our perceived helplessness and all the implications
associated with that.
John Fisher 2006

1153
Personal Construct Psychology - an introduction
Personal Construct Psychology (PCP), (or Personal Construct
Theory - PCT) is a concept pioneered by George Kelly. Personal
Construct Psychology theory proposes that we must
understand how the other person sees their world and what
meaning they attribute to things in order to effectively
communicate and connect with them. Personal Construct
Psychology theory is extremely relevant to developing personal
emotional maturity and self-awareness in self and others, and for
understanding behaviour in others, and as such the concepts of
Personal Construct Psychology augment and support many of
the behavioural models and methodologies explained on this
website.
Personal Construct Psychology theory provides a very useful and
accessible additional perspective to the world and how we relate
to it.
This article was written by John Fisher and Dr David Savage. It
first appeared in Fisher and Savage (eds), 1999, Beyond
Experimentation Into Meaning, EPCA Publications, Farnborough.
Permission to reprint this article here is gratefully
acknowledged.
Personal Construct Psychology (PCP) is a psychology that places
the individual at its central focal point. It is based on
understanding the individual from within their own world view -
that is by understanding how they see the world not how we
interpret their picture of the world. We all interact with the
world from a unique perspective - our own, this interaction is
built up of all our past and potential future experiences and
dictates how we approach situations.
Psychological theory, generally, purports that we observe other
people's behaviours and actions and place our own
interpretations on them, attributing meaning based on our own

1154
past (childhood) experiences. Personal Construct Psychology is a
more liberating theory, allowing the individual to develop and
grow throughout their life constantly observing, assimilating,
developing actions/reactions, experimenting and testing beliefs.
Kelly (1955/1991) used the phrase 'man the scientist' (sic) to
explain how we interact with our world.
Due to the constantly changing nature of our nature we are not
'the victim of our biography' and have the choice (although
sometimes it may not appear as such) to adopt a new way of
interacting.
How we interact with others is the result of our past experiences
and an assessment of the current situation which is then mapped
onto possible alternative courses of action, we then chose that
course of action which we
think will best suit our
needs. Kelly (1955/91)
proposed that we are all
scientists - by this he meant
that we are constantly
experimenting
with our world,
generating hypothesis
about what will happen,
acting, and testing the
resulting outcome against
our prediction. It can
be seen from this that
our behaviours are
not static. We do not
become 'the adult'
during childhood, nor
are we forever
condemned to sail the seven
seas like

1155
the Flying Dutchman making the same mistakes.
Personal Construct Psychology is a very free and empowering
psychology. We are not seen as victims of circumstance, we have
the power to change and grow. We are only limited in our vision
of ourselves and our future by our own internal 'blinkers' - these
limit the possible futures we can see for ourselves and hence
restrict our ability to develop. One of the fundamental tenets of
PCP is that of 'Constructive Alternativism'. In simple terms this
means that there are as many different interpretations of any
situation and possible future outcomes as we can think of - how
many different uses can you think of for a paper clip?
Our collection of experience's and actions form the basis of our
mental map (or logic bubble) of the world. In PCP terms the
working tools of our mental map are known as 'Constructs'. A
construct is simply a way of differentiating between objects.
Each construct can be equated to a line connecting two points.
These two points, or poles, each have a (different) label
identifying the opposite extremes of the construct. Based on our
perceptions of other people's behaviour we can then place them
somewhere on the scale between the two poles and hence build
our mental map of the world. We also place ourselves along
these same dimensions and use them as a guide to choosing not
only our behaviours but also our friends etc. As a result of our
experimenting we are constantly assessing our constructs for
their level of 'fit' in our world. This results in either a validation
of the construct or an invalidation of (and hence potential change
to) our constructs. Problems occur when we consistently try to
use invalidated constructs in our interactions.
For example we might define people by the way they act in
company and decide that some people are 'extravert' and others
'introvert', other constructs may be physical, e.g. tall or small, fat
or thin. Objects can fall into more than one category so we can
have small, thin extroverted people. Within Klienian psychology

1156
one example of a construct would be 'Good Breast/Bad Breast'.
One point here, the opposite of 'introvert' may not be extravert
for some people; it could be loud or aggressive. Hence just
because we associate one with another doesn't mean everybody
does. This is why we need some understanding of other people's
construct system to be able to effectively communicate with
them.
To be able to interact with each other we need to have some
understanding of how the other person perceives their world.
What do they mean when they call someone 'extroverted'?, are
they the life and soul of the party? or are they loud and over
bearing? How we, and they, treat the extrovert depends on
whether it is viewed it as a positive or negative character trait.
Kelly defined his theory in a formal structured way by devising
what he called his 'fundamental postulate' - basically a posh term
for the statement which underpins the whole of Personal
Construct Psychology. A further eleven corollaries (or clarifying
statements) were also developed which extended the theory and
added more elaboration to how the theory impacts and is used.
These eleven have over time been expanded and added to as the
range of the theory has been developed (e.g. see Dallos 1991,
Procter 1981, Balnaves and Caputi 1993). In fairness it must be
said that these additions have not been universally acclaimed
and many people only recognise the original eleven.
You may have got the impression that Personal Construct
Psychology is very individual focused - which it is - and that it
has nothing to offer in terms of group development. The
principles of Personal Construct Psychology can be applied to
individuals, groups and culture with equal ease. Various books
and papers have been published exploring the nomothetic
aspects of Personal Construct Psychology (e.g. Balnaves and
Caputi 1993, Kalekin-Fishman and Walker 1996).
Te fundamental postulate and the eleven corollaries

1157
The Fundamental Postulate states that "A person's processes are
psychologically 'channellised' by the ways in which they
anticipate events". My interpretation of this is that our
expectations dictate our choice of action.
The Construction corollary - "A person anticipates events by
construing their replication". Again I interpret this as meaning
that we approach the future by looking at similar past
experiences and basing our actions on those previous events.
The Experience corollary - "A person's construct system varies
as they successively construe the replication of events". I take
this to imply that our construct system is in a state of constant
change based on our experiences.
The Individuality corollary - "People differ from each other in
their construction of events". We all see things differently.
The Choice corollary - "People choose for themselves that
alternative in a dichotomised construct through which they
anticipate the greater possibility for the elaboration of their
system". Therefore, in my opinion, we choose that alternative
which gives us the best chance of extending (and confirming) our
construct system.
The Sociality corollary - "To the extent that one person construes
the construction process of another, they may play a role in a
social process involving the other person". If we understand
where someone is coming from we can interact with them in a
productive meaningful manner.
The Commonality corollary - "To the extent that one person
employs a construction of experience which is similar to that
employed by another, their processes are psychologically similar
to of the other person". i.e. Great minds think alike.
The Organisational corollary - "Each person characteristically
evolves, for their convenience in anticipating events, a
construction system embracing ordinal relationships between

1158
constructs". This I take to mean that we create a hierarchical
construct system.
The Dichotomy corollary - "A person's construction system is
composed of a finite number of dichotomous constructs".
('Dichotomous' in this sense means divided and potentially
opposing and contradictory.)
The Range corollary - "A construct is convenient for the
anticipation of a finite range of events only". Some constructs are
applicable to certain things and not others e.g., a car may be 'fast,
sporty and sexy' but an apple may not be.
The Modulation corollary - "The variation in a person's
construction system is limited by the permeability of the
constructs within whose range of convenience the variants lie".
By this I understand that our construct system is only as flexible
as we allow it to be. If our constructs are 'open to suggestion'
then so will we.
The Fragmentation corollary - "A person may successively
employ a variety of construction systems which are inferentially
incompatible with each other". In other words we can hold
contradictory constructs at the same time.
Constructs in use
Constructs form the building blocks of our 'personality' and as
such come in various shapes and sizes. From the Organisation
corollary it follows that some constructs are more important
than others. The most important constructs are those which are
'core' to our sense of being. These are very resistant to change
and include things like moral code, religious beliefs etc. and
cause significant psychological impact if they are threatened in
any way. The other constructs are called 'peripheral' constructs
and a change to them does not have the same impact. It also
follows that some constructs will actually subsume other
constructs as we move up the hierarchy.

1159
Categories of constructs come in three types. There are 'pre-
emptive' constructs, these are constructs which are applied in an
all or nothing way. If this is a ball then it is nothing else but a ball
- very black and white type of thinking. The second type is
'constellatory' constructs. These constructs are the stereotyping
constructs - if this is a ball then it must be round, made of leather
and used in football matches. Constructs in this category bring a
lot of ancillary baggage with them (be it right or wrong). The last
type of construct category is 'propositional'. This one carries no
implications or additional labels and is the most open form of
construct. It should be noted that constructs do not have to have
'words' attached to them. We can, and do, have constructs which
were either formed before we could speak or which has a non
verbal symbol identifying it. Something like the 'gut feeling' or 'it
feels right' would be a non verbal construct. Kelly originally
called these 'preverbal' constructs, but in line with others
(notably Tom Ravenette 1997) I prefer the term non verbal.
Constructs, themselves, can be either Loose or Tight. A loose
construct is one which may or may not lead to the same
behaviour every time. Obviously this can make life difficult for
others as they will be unable to predict the construer's actions
consistently. A tight construct on the other hand always leads to
the same behaviour. These people are those with regular habits
and firmly held views. Our creativity is helped by moving from
loose to tight constructs. We start off with loose constructs,
trying things out for size, seeing what works and what doesn't, as
we move towards the new we tighten up our construing,
narrowing down our experimentation and so we begin making
clearer associations and developing more clearly the 'new'. One
way of loosening our constructs is via play and imagination. By
using play as an experiment we can (safely) try out new things.
The CPC cycle directs our method of choosing. The CPC cycle
consists of Circumspection, Pre-emption and Control. This is
basically a form of 'Review, Plan, Do'. Initially we review the

1160
alternatives open to us (circumspection), narrow down the
choice to one and devise a plan of action (pre-empt), finally you
exercise control and do something. The cycle continues as every
action leads to both a review of the success of that action as well
as opening new choices.
One of the criticisms levelled at Personal Construct Psychology
(unfairly in my view) is that it does not deal with emotions. This
myth has been effectively address by others (e.g. Fransella 1995,
McCoy 1977). Kelly uses different terms to deal with emotions.
He sees emotions as transitional stages. For example threat is
defined as 'the awareness of an imminent comprehensive change
in one's core structure', fear is an incidental change in one's core
constructs. One example of threat can be seen in the way which
people of different belief systems are treated by the dominant
religion - the persecution of the Cathars during the middle ages
because they threatened the societal structure. One feels guilt
when one has done something which is contrary to ones core
constructs. Someone who sees themselves as 'an honest upright
citizen' would feel guilt if caught in some dishonest act (even
unwittingly). Happiness and joy are seen as support to
peripheral and core constructs. Think about how happy you feel
when you do something right or are complimented on
something.
Tools and techniques
Personal Construct Psychology has a wide variety of tools and
techniques at its disposal. Probably the most widely used is the
Repertory Grid. This is a method of eliciting constructs by asking
participants to compare three elements (objects, things, etc.,)
and state how two are similar and different from the third.
Answers are recorded in a matrix, which can then be analysed to
produce a construct map. This has been used for research into a
wide range of issues from business problems to
psychotherapeutic interventions (some examples of the latter

1161
can be found in various chapters within this book). The Rep Grid
(as it is known) has a wide following and can be used without
any other PCP theory (and has been!). There are many variations
of Rep Grids including those looking at resistance to change as
well as implications grids and problem solving (for a more
comprehensive review of grids I would suggest Beail 1985,
Fransella and Bannister 1997, Stewart & Stewart 1981).
The Rep Grid can be compared to a 'hard measure', eliciting, as it
does, quantifiable data. There are, however a lot of softer, more
'touchy feely' construct elicitation techniques available. One of
the more popular is the 'Self Characterisation'. In this the client
has to write a character sketch of themselves in the third person
and from a sympathetic viewpoint. This can then be assessed for
recurring themes and constructs, these can be discussed with the
individual concerned.
Once constructs have been elicited their hierarchy and
interlinking can be found by 'laddering' and 'pyramiding'. The
former takes one upwards towards the highest core constructs
whilst the latter provides a detailed map of a person's lower
level construct map in any particular area. By asking questions
like "which is more important a or b?" and then asking 'why?'
questions one can ladder quite quickly and easily.
Pyramiding, on the other hand, requires questions like "what
kind of person does y?", "How does that/they differ from x?", this
process allows the client to narrow down their definitions and
arrive at the lower level constructs. This exercise does require a
reasonable sized piece of paper to record all the answers and
provide a sensible construct map.
One powerful tool for understanding why people are not willing
to change is the ABC technique (Tschudi 1977). Here A is the
desired change with constructs B1 and B2 elicited. B1 being the
disadvantages about the present state and B2 the advantages
about moving to the new state. However it is possible (if not

1162
probable) that the current situation has some advantages which
may outweigh the disadvantages. Therefore C1 are constructs
which show the negative side of moving whilst C2 are the
positive aspects of staying the same. But, by looking at the pay-
offs for not changing we can identify the barriers and put
measures in place to overcome them (if necessary).
Kelly also proposed a form of dramatherapy for use with clients.
In his version, which he called 'Fixed Role Therapy', in
conjunction with the client he drew up a new persona (including
a new name and history) and encouraged the client to act as if
they were this new person. This allowed the client to 'try out'
new ways of looking at the world in a safe environment (if it
didn't work they just became themselves again). Hypnotherapy
has also been used to loosen (and tighten) constructs.
personal construct theory - conclusion
I hope that this brief introduction to Personal Construct
Psychology has shown some of the breadth and depth of PCP. Far
from being a static, restrictive psychology that only perceives
people as having finished growing at the end of childhood or
merely reacting to external stimulation, it is an extremely
liberating and eclectic psychology. Ownership of one's future is
placed in the hands of the individual concerned.
Personal Construct Psychology theory references
Balnaves M. & Caputi P., 1993, Corporate Constructs; To what
Extent are Personal Constructs Personal?, International Journal
of Personal Construct Psychology, 6, 2 p119 - 138
Beail N. (ed), 1985, Repertory Grid technique and Personal
Constructs, Croom Helm
Dallos R. (1991), Family Belief Systems, Therapy and Change,
Open University Press, Milton Keynes
Fransella F. (1995), George Kelly, Sage, London

1163
Fransella F. and Bannister D. (1977), A Manual for Repertory
Grid Technique, Academic Press, London
Kalekin-Fishman D. & Walker B. (eds) 1996, The Construction of
Group Realities: Culture, Society, and Personal Construct Theory,
Krieger, Malabar
Kelly G.A. (1955/1991), The Psychology of Personal Constructs,
Routledge, London
McCoy M. M. (1977), A Reconstruction of Emotion, in Bannister D
(ed), Issues and Approaches in Personal Construct Theory,
Academic Press, London
Procter H. (1981), Family Construct Psychology, in Walrond-
Skinner S (ed), Family Therapy and Approaches, Routledge and
Kegan Paul, London
Ravenette T (1977),
Selected papers: Personal
construct
Psychology and the
practice of an
Educational
psychologist, EPCA
Publications,
Farnborough
Stewart V. & Stewart A.
(1981), Business
Applications of Repertory
Grid Technique, McGraw
Hill,
Tschudi F. (1977), Loaded
and Honest
Questions, in Bannister
D (ed), New

1164
Perspectives in Personal Construct Theory, Academic Press,
London

1165
4.14 RELAPSE PREVENTION
Relapse is a common experience when people change habits.
Relapse Prevention is about revealing and resolving those
issues that has been sabotaging your progress or recovery
process. Relapse can encompass behavior or drug addiction.
After changin one habit or recovering from one addiction, people
are at risk to become cross addicted or dually addicted to sex,
gambling, work, caffeine, food, you name it. We call this
changing seats on the titanic.
Or they recovery become plagued with depression or anxiety.
The true goal of going to a change process or recovering from a
bad attitude, habit or addiction, is to be comfortable in your
own skin, living life peacefully. Relapse Prevention is about
assisting the coachee in revealing and resolving those issues
that drove them to the wrong choices. Relapse prevention will
give them the freedom from bondage to live peacefully in their
own skin.
Relapse Prevention Coaching includes:
False Beliefs Research evidence indicates that major
predictors of relapse risk are belief systems consistent with
negative models (Im too weak to change), and the absence
of coping skills.
What you do comes out of your beliefs about yourself, others
and God. In order to have a new life, not just a change of
destructive behavior, you must examine your current belief
systems.
Identity - Begin to identify and detach from unhealthy things
you've put your faith in and used to cope with life. You will
learn how these things have under-mind your attempts at

1166
 success. You will discover areas of false identity that are
based on false gods or idols, such as alcohol/drugs, food, sex,
money, beauty, work, anger, judgment, etc.
Life-Management Skills You will begin to understand the
addictive brain and gain life-management skills for coping
with the emotions that contribute to relapse.
Dead Ends You begin to learn and understand how your
subconscious thoughts, feelings and behaviors have
contributed to your relapse.
Deja-Vu You will begin to see how double binds (damned if
you do and damned if you don't) have kept you from making
the right choices for recovery.
Accountability You will create a personal support and
accountability team for your balanced recovery plan.
Exodus - Through prayer and forgiveness, you will resolve
past hurts and mistakes, empowering you to begin to walk
into a new life of full recovery. This process deals with
acceptance of a new life and release of the guilt and shame
associated with the old addictive/compulsive behaviors.

The following strategies are useful in preventing and managing

relapse:

- enhance commitment to change (e.g. use motivational

interviewing)
- identify high-risk situations (e.g. What situations
- have been associated with relapse in the past? When is it
most difficult for coachee to keep to the agreements made?)
- teach coping skills (e.g. problem solving; social skills; self-
management skills; selfmonitoring, )
- develop strategies that can be part of a relapse drill
- what should the coachee do in the event of a lapse occurring?

1167
- where can they get support?
- what role can friends/family provide?
- How soon should the coachee make an appointment to come
back to you?

Source:
Tammy Hardin -
http://emotionalandaddictionrecovery.com/relapse-prevention-
coaching

1168
4.15 BRAINSTORMING
Brainstorming
http://www.businessballs.com/kaleidoscopebrainstorming.htm
Brainstorming technique for problem-solving, team-building and
creative process
Brainstorming with a group of people is a powerful technique.
Brainstorming creates new ideas, solves problems, motivates
and develops teams. Brainstorming motivates because it
involves members of a team in bigger management issues, and it
gets a team working together. However, brainstorming is not
simply a random activity. Brainstorming needs to be structured
and it follows brainstorming rules. The brainstorming process is
described below, for which you will need a flip-chart or
alternative. This is crucial as Brainstorming needs to involve the
team, which means that everyone must be able to see what's
happening. Brainstorming places a significant burden on the
facilitator to manage the process, people's involvement and
sensitivities, and then to manage the follow up actions. Use
Brainstorming well and you will see excellent results in
improving the organization, performance, and developing the
team.
N.B. There has been some discussion in recent years - much of it
plainly daft - that the term 'brainstorming' might be 'political
incorrect' by virtue of possible perceived reference to brain-
related health issues. It was suggested by some that the
alternative, but less than catchy 'thought-showers' should be
used instead, which presumably was not considered to be
offensive to raindrops (this is serious). Happily recent research
among relevant groups has dispelled this non-pc notion, and we
can continue to use the brainstorming expression without fear of
ending up in the law courts

1169
The Brainstorming process
1. Define and agree the objective.
2. Brainstorm ideas and suggestions having agreed a time limit.
3. Categorise/condense/combine/refine.
4. Assess/analyse effects or results.
5. Prioritise options/rank list as appropriate.
6. Agree action and timescale.
7. Control and monitor follow-up.

The Brainstorming Phases Explained

1. Orientation
Define the problem to be studied for the participants, clarify the
rules of the game.
2. Preparation
Gather data and information necessary to approach the problem
in an efficient manner.
3. Warm-up
Carry -out the exercise: redefine a problem different from the
one to be studied, experiment with it for a few minutes.
4. Production of ideas
Generate the maximum of ideas without prior judgement
always ask what else - quantity of ideas is quality - no limits
no criticise - modify others ideas to produce new ones.
5. Incubation
Let the subconscious work.
6. Syntheses
Gather the ideas generated - analyse them - work with logical
thinking.
7. Evaluation
Evaluate the ideas gathered and analysed - develop and combine
them before proceeding to put them in practice.

1170
Source: European Commission, Innovation Management
Techniques in Operation, European Commission, DG XIII,
Luxembourg, 1998.
In other words .
Plan and agree the brainstorming aim
Ensure everyone participating in the brainstorm session
understands and agrees the aim of the session (eg, to formulate a
new job description for a customer services clerk; to formulate a
series of new promotional activities for the next trading year; to
suggest ways of improving cooperation between the sales and
service departments; to identify costs saving opportunities that
will not reduce performance or morale, etc). Keep the
brainstorming objective simple. Allocate a time limit. This will
enable you to keep the random brainstorming activity under
control and on track.
Manage the actual brainstorming activity
Brainstorming enables people to suggest ideas at random. Your
job as facilitator is to encourage everyone to participate, to
dismiss nothing, and to prevent others from pouring scorn on
the wilder suggestions (some of the best ideas are initially the
daftest ones - added to which people won't participate if their
suggestions are criticised). During the random collection of ideas
the facilitator must record every suggestion on the flip-chart. Use
Blu-Tack or sticky tape to hang the sheets around the walls. At
the end of the time limit or when ideas have been exhausted, use
different coloured pens to categorise, group, connect and link the
random ideas. Condense and refine the ideas by making new
headings or lists. You can diplomatically combine or include the
weaker ideas within other themes to avoid dismissing or
rejecting contributions (remember brainstorming is about team
building and motivation too - you don't want it to have the
reverse effect on some people). With the group, assess, evaluate

1171
and analyse the effects and validity of the ideas or the list.
Develop and prioritise the ideas into a more finished list or set of
actions or options.
Implement the actions agreed from the brainstorming
Agree what the next actions will be. Agree a timescale, who's
responsible. After the session circulate notes, monitor and give
feedback. It's crucial to develop a clear and positive outcome, so
that people feel their effort and contribution was worthwhile.
When people see that their efforts have resulted in action and
change, they will be motivated and keen to help again.
Personal brainstorming
For creativity, planning, presentations, decision-making,
and organizing your ideas
Personal brainstorming - just by yourself - is very useful for the
start of any new project, especially if you can be prone to put
things off until tomorrow.
Planning a new venture, a presentation, or any new initiative, is
generally much easier if you begin simply by thinking of ideas -
in no particular order or structure - and jotting them down on a
sheet of paper or in a notebook. Basically this is personal
brainstorming, and it can follow the same process as described
above for groups, except that it's just you doing it.
Sometimes it's very difficult to begin planning something new -
because you don't know where and how to start. Brainstoming is
a great way to begin. The method also generates lots of
possibilities which you might otherwise miss by getting into
detailed structured planning too early.

1172
A really useful tool for personal brainstorming - and note-taking
generally - is the wonderful Bic 4-colour ballpen.
The pen enables you quickly to switch colours between red, blue,
black and green, without having to walk around with a pocket-
full of biros.
Using different colours in your creative jottings and written
records helps you to make your notes and diagrams clearer, and
dramatically increases the ways in which you can develop and
refine your ideas and notes on paper. To prove the point, review
some previous notes in black or blue ink using a red pen - see
how you can organize/connect the content, still keeping it all
clear and legible.
This simple pen is therefore a brilliant tool for organizing your
thoughts on paper much more clearly and creatively than by
being limited to a single colour - especially if you think in visual
terms and find diagrams helpful.
For example, using different colours enables you to identify and
link common items within a random list, or to show patterns and
categories, or to over-write notes without making a confusing
mess, and generally to generate far more value from your
thoughts and ideas. Keeping connected notes and ideas on a
single sheet of paper greatly helps the brain to absorb and
develop them. Try it - you'll be surprised how much more useful
your notes become.
The principle is the same as using different colours of marker
pens on a flip-chart. Other manufacturers produce similar pens,
but the Bic is reliable, widely available, and very inexpensive.

The usefulness of different colours in written notes is further

illustrated in a wider organizational sense in the UK health

1173
industry. Apparently, black is the standard colour; green is used
by pharmacy services, red is used after death and for allergies,
and blue tends to be avoided due to poorer reprographic
qualities (thanks M Belcher).
Additionally I am informed (thanks T Kalota, Oct 2008) of a
useful brainstorming/organizing technique using coloured pens
when reviewing a written specification, or potentially any set of
notes for a design or plan.
Underline or circle the words according to the following:

nouns/people/things black (entities)

verbs
('doing'/functional red (relationships)
words)

adjectives/adverbs
blue (attributes)
(describing words)

This technique was apparently used for clarifying written

specifications or notes for a database design, and was termed
'extended relational architecture', advocated by a company of
the same name, at one time.
This method of colour-coding notes (using underlines or circles
or boxes) to help clarification/prioritization/organization/etc
can itself naturally be extended and adapted, for example:

1174
nouns/people/things black (entities)

verbs ('doing'/functional
red (relationships)
words)

adjectives (describing a
blue (attributes)
noun/thing/etc)

adverbs (describing a
green (degrees/range/etc)
verb/function)

timings/costs/quantities yellow (measures)

The colours and categories are not a fixed industry standard. It's
an entirely flexible technique. You can use any colours you want,
and devise your own coding structures to suit the situation.
In relation to the group brainstorming process above, see also
the guidelines for running workshops. Workshops provide good
situations for group brainstorming, and brainstorming helps to
make workshops more productive, motivational and successful.
To create more structured brainstorming activities which
illustrate or address particular themes, methods, media, etc.,
there is a helpful set of reference points on the team building
games section. Unless you have special reasons for omitting
control factors, ensure you retain the the essence of the rules
above, especially defining the task, stating clear timings,
organising participants and materials, and managing the review
and follow-up.

1175
Kaleidoscope brainstorming process
advanced brainstorming technique for problem-solving,
team-building and creative process
Brainstorming is a powerful technique for problem-solving,
learning and development, planning and team building.
Brainstorming creates new ideas, motivates and develops teams
because it involves team members in bigger management issues,
and it gets the brainstorming participants working together.
Brainstorming is not a random activity; it follows a process. See
the process for basic brainstorming. Below is an more innovative
advanced method of brainstorming - called 'Silent
Brainstorming' or 'Kaleidoscope Brainstorming' - developed by
Dr KRS Murthy of Nisvara Inc, and the contribution of this model
is gratefully acknowledged. Dr Murthy also refers to the
brainstorming technique as 'Multiple Mind Conferencing'.
Kaleidoscope Brainstorming, Dr Murthy suggests, not only
produces vastly more ideas than conventional brainstorming,
but also acts at a deep level to build teams and harmonious work
groups.
As with the basic brainstorming process, the facilitator has a big
responsibility to manage the activity, people's involvement and
sensitivities, and then to manage the follow up actions. Use
Brainstorming well and you will see excellent results in
improving the organization, performance, and developing the
team. It is useful to review the Johari Window concept and Johari
model diagram along with this article, and when using the
process. This is because much of the value of this concept lies in
developing awareness of self, others, and what others think of
oneself.

1176
Kaleidoscope brainstorming technique
Have you attended any brain storming sessions in your life? The
sessions are normally run by a facilitator, who introduces the
purpose of the session to the participants, explains the ground
rules and coordinates the process. A note taker or scribe may be
used to document all the ideas generated in the session.
Generally, the session is open to any ideas. Important guideline is
that no idea is too simple, stupid or wild.
Kaleidoscope advanced brainstorming techniques are applicable
to any subject or situation, and any type of forum where people
can work as a group, including internet-based conferencing and
communications.
This is a new approach to the brainstorming process, including
different variations as to its use.
Dr Murthy regards 'Kaleidoscope Brainstorming' (KBS) or
Multiple Mind Conferencing (MMC) as a "...Romantic interplay
between silence and interaction.... a heavenly marriage of thesis
and antithesis.."
The process makes efficient use of silence and communication,
which are interleaved in the brainstorming session. The various
degrees and modes of silence and communication effectively use
as 'tools' in the Kaleidoscope brainstorming approach. Notably
the power of silence is used to supplement the communications-
oriented parts of the session.
The technique may seem 'anti-thematic' at the first glance.
However, the intention is to make the brainstorming process
more 'holistic', by exploiting the different modes and degrees of
silence, absence of communication and a variety of
communication and interaction.

1177
The kaleidoscope brainstorming process
1 - Initial ideas generation brainstorming session
The session should start with a facilitator detailing the process
steps used for the particular session. The session is conducted in
a normal fashion with the participants speaking out their ideas
in a round robin or random fashion for an agreed period. The
facilitator can use any normal brainstorming format for this
session. It is a good idea to use a format that is comfortable for
the facilitator and the participants. See the example of a standard
brainstorming session if you've not done so already.
2 - Silent brainstorming session
The silent brainstorming session stage requires all team
members or participants to stop talking, and to think of ideas,
but not speak out. The facilitator can ring a bell or use another
method to indicate the start and end of this part of the exercise.
Ideas are to written down by each brainstorming participant. In
addition, the participants must guess the ideas that others may
be thinking and writing down. Ideally participants should guess
the ideas of the other participants for each person, one after the
other. For example, if the participants are A, B, C, D, E, F and G,
then A would not only write his or her her ideas, but also
afterwards guess what B, C, D, E, F, and G may have as their
ideas. Participants should do this using deep thinking, and base
their guesses on the manner that other participants answered
during the first speaking part of the session. Participants should
be encouraged to think how each of the other participants' minds
are working - to empathise, to 'put themselves in the other
person's shoes' - as a method of guessing as intuitively and
accurately as possible. 'Think how the other person will be
thinking' is the sort of guidance that the facilitator can give.
At this stage what's happening is that each participant is coming
up with ideas from their own perspective of how each of the

1178
other participants is thinking. All participants work on this stage
of the session at the same time. You can imagine the multiplicity
of ideas and perspectives that this stage produces.
Each participant should logically end up with a list of ideas
alongside, or below, the names of each participant, including
themselves.
After a reasonable period, when it is clear that participants have
completed their lists, the facilitator can ring the bell again,
indicating the end of the silent brainstorming stage.
3 - Presentation of brainstorming ideas session
In this session, each of of the delegates reads out or shows their
own ideas and also their best guesses of the ideas for others. The
presentation made by A would look like the following:
1. Ideas generated by A
2. Guess of ideas of B
3. Guess of ideas of C
4. Guess of ideas of D
5. Guess of ideas of E
6. Guess of ideas of F
7. Guess of ideas of G

During A's presentation, others simply listen. In turn each

delegate gives a similar presentation. It is best if there is no
discussion during the presentations. The facilitator should
encourage delegates to make notes which people can raise later.
4 - Discussion of brainstorming ideas session
The presentations are followed by a detailed discussion session.
In this session, the participants may discuss why and how they
guessed about others. Each participant can also comment on the
guesses of the other participants, and validate or clarify. The
highlights and conclusions resulting from discussion should be
noted by the facilitator or an appointed 'scribe'. The individual

1179
participants can be encouraged also make their own notes,
which might for example contain their mental models and
appropriate revisions of the creative thinking process of others.
In this sense the activity helps open hidden areas of awareness
(self and others), which in turn promotes better understanding,
relationships, communications, team-building and co-operation.
(See and refer to the Johari Window to help explain these
benefits).
5 - Further silent and speaking sessions - the kaleidoscope effect
Further sessions can repeat and extend the silent session so that
participants increase the depth and complexity of their thinking
still more. Specifically participants should now think about and
guess how other delegates are thinking about the ideas of of
others. This again is done silently, together. Each delegate will be
thinking in deeper levels about each of the other participant's
thinking. These complexities of thinking result, for example:
A is thinking and noting down of any of his/her own new
ideas
A is also (as in stage 4) thinking afresh about and noting
down any thoughts as to what B, C, D, E, F and G are thinking
and, A is now additionally thinking of what B is thinking
of A, C, D, E, F and G, plus what C is thinking of A, B, D, E, F
and G, and so on.
Obviously the exercise at this stage has expanded massively.
From a simple individual brainstorming activity involving say
seven people and seven sets of personal ideas (seven
perspectives), the session has expanded to entail seven people
each considering six other people's thoughts about the ideas of
six other people's ideas (that's 242 perspectives!). Clearly it is
not reasonable to expect delegates to formulate 242 lists, so it is
useful to place certain limits on people's activities, which can
include for example:

1180
 allowing delegates to leave blanks against certain delegates
names
limiting the number of ideas required to be guessed for each
delegate
stating a maximum number of perspectives
allocating responsibility to each delegate to think about
certain named delegates
and in any event giving a time limit for each stage of the
activity

As with any team building or team working activity, the

facilitator needs to be able to assess progress and to adapt,
adjust and give clarifying or steadying guidelines during the
activity to maintain the group's focus and effectiveness.
At the fifth stage, all participants will in their own way be
thinking in a highly complex fashion. The participants minds are
acting as mirrors creating multiple reflections of each other,
rather like the few small objects inside a kaleidoscope creating
wonderful arrays and patterns. Hence the 'Kaleidoscope
Brainstorming' description.
It is easy to imagine how using this process the number of ideas
generated are many times more than when using normal
brainstorming techniques.
Dr Murthy reports that typically after a number of Kaleidoscope
Brainstorming sessions a group experiences an 'asymptotic
approximation of their thinking process'. (Asymptotic refers to
the 'asymptotic' effect whereby two or more things increasingly
converge as if to become joined and together, but never actually
join or become one). He says this is enabled by successive
convergence and cross-fertilization among a group or team of
each members thinking process, thoughts and ideas. He adds
interestingly that groups ultimately do not need to be talking to

1181
each other for their minds to be conferencing with each other. In
fact, they can be as far geographically apart as they need to be for
their routine life, but still efficiently conferencing and in tune
with each other.
Dr Murthy adds: "The most important aspect is the discipline
developed by the silent brainstorming paradigm. Regular teams
or 'virtual' teams can be brought together to practice this
technique. It is a good idea for the team members to branch out
and form new groups with new members to extend the practice.
It is also a good idea to have new members or visitors to the
Kaleidoscope Brainstorming team inducted routinely. Diversity
of backgrounds is the key to freshness of ideas. True diversity in
gender, age, ethnic background, educational levels, race, and
personality types will ensure Brainstorming teams and activities
are kept as fertile as possible. It is like any ecological system.
Stability of a Kaleidoscope Brainstorming team ecology is good,
but as well, aberrations and perturbations can guarantee long-
term growth."
To create more structured brainstorming activities which
illustrate or address particular themes, methods, media, etc.,
there is a helpful set of reference points on the team building
games section.
Unless you have special reasons for omitting control factors,
ensure you retain the the essence of the rules above, especially
defining the task, stating clear timings, organising participants
and materials, and managing the review and follow-up.
1. Set directions. Describe the situation and define the
problem.
2. Help people to understand the problem to be solved and
clarify the objectives. Focus on productive objectives and
keep group on track.

1182
3. Involve everyone. Encourage everyone to contribute.
Control dominating participants. Celebrate diversity. Use
different techniques to draw ideas from group.
4. Encourage cross-fertilization. Build on each other. Let
others' ideas take you somewhere else. Combine, synergize,
and improve upon ideas.
5. Encourage outside-the-box thinking. Challenge assumptions.
Be creative Go crazy. Think outside the box. Sometimes the
wildest ideas lead to great ones. The wilder the ideas the
better Step out of your shoes to surface new insights.
("What if you were a cat, or a film scenario writer how
would you solve the problem?"). Encourage active listening.
5. Don't overlook the obvious the obvious solution is
sometimes the best.
6. Suspend judgment. No ideas are bad ideas. All ideas are
good ideas. (Actually, a minority opinion offered during
group decision making often stimulates more innovative
solutions to a problem).
7. Don't fear repetitions. At different moments you see with
different eyes. During discussion afterwards the duplicate
ideas you may find them different or they may trigger a
different response at a different time.
8. Don't stop and discuss. Go for quantity, not quality. Keep the
momentum going.
9. Record and display each idea. Make sure each idea is
complete don't use one-word descriptions to avoid
misunderstanding. Don't edit.
10. Apply the 80/20 Principle and change hats to select the best
ideas. Look through your list of ideas and circle the 20%
that will yield 80% of the results you are looking for.
Encourage full-spectrum thinking.

1183
Source:
http://www.1000advices.com/guru/innovation_brainstorm
ing_10rules_vk.html

Some useful lines with connection to brainstorming in a coaching

procedure:

- Lets list all possible options, then look at the best three and
find out what we can do with them.
- Use the brainstorm technique called 'Wishful thinking' to let
coachees think of the best and easiest ways to reach their
goal.

1184
4.16 DESENTISATION
Gestalt therapy based desentisation:

Gestalt therapy teaches that people perceive the world in terms

of completed unites of human experience, that is: separate and
complete patterns. Incomplete patterns are completed in order
to make it possible to interpret them as a whole entity. Problems
may result from an incorrect completion or a lack of awareness.

A good way to become aware, correct faulty patterns and restore

authentic contact with the surroundings is (repeatedly) enacting
the situation, until wrong connections are replaced by correct
data.

Wolpes systematic desentisation technique:

Developed by Wolpe, based on Pavlovs classic conditioning:

1. A negative experience from the past is blocking progress or

causing stress / fear
2. Draw up a list of stressing situations
3. Arrange the situations on a scale from 1 10
4. Teach coachee how to relax
5. Apply relaxation exercises to the scaled stress-situation,
starting with the least stressing. If the situation cannot be
reproduced in reality: have coachee imagining it.
The exercise is beneficial even when practiced in fantasy
only.
6. Repeat the exercise as often as necessary
7. Coachees overcome their fear / stress

1185
4.17 BUILDING ASSERTIVENESS
Here are our top ten tips to become a more assertive person.

1. Think "I'm OK, you're OK" or win-win

In every relationship, conversation, or exchange with someone
else, whether they are in a superior or inferior role, think win-
win. This is what Eric Berne described as a belief that "I'm OK
and so are you".

2. Respond to praise with thanks

When someone gives you praise, don't get embarrassed and
brush it off. Thank the person and ask them what exactly they
liked.

3. Respond to criticism with objectivity

When someone criticizes you, don't hit back. If there's some
truth in the criticism, ask for more information. If none, smile
and say nothing.

4. Learn to say "No"

If you are not contractually obliged to do something, and don't
want to do it, learn to say "No" firmly, politely, and resolutely.

5. Admit Your Mistakes, Don't Cover Them Up

Learn how to admit your mistakes without fear of what might
happen to you. Do it when you make small mistakes and it'll be
easier when they are bigger.

6. Drop the Blame Game

When things go wrong, don't blame others, the situation, or
yourself. Instead, welcome the chance to learn something.

7. Don't Belittle Yourself

Eliminate the words "just" and "only" from your vocabulary as in
"I'm just a junior executive" and "I've only limited experience".

1186
8. In Pressure Situations, Ask for More Time
When someone puts pressure on you to make a decision, don't
feel you need to agree to them there and then. Ask for more time
so that you can weigh up your options.

9. Make More Requests

Unassertive people hesitate to ask others for help in case they
are rejected. But this rarely happens. Most people are flattered
when asked for help. So ask them more often.

10. Practise Every Day

The great thing about assertiveness is that it can be practised in
almost every conversation you have. So try it out every day until
it becomes your default way of living.

1187
4.18 ROOT CAUSE ANALYSIS
The Five Whys (or 5 Whys, or 5Y) technique is especially popular
in manufacturing, where the main concern is often productivity -
- maximizing production rate and minimizing rejects. I've heard
many Six Sigma and Lean practitioners talk about this as one of
their favourite tools. I can understand why, too... it's easy to
remember, simple to apply, and gets deeper than traditional
problem solving. However, it also contains some traps.

In summary, you simply ask "why did this occur", and after you
answer that, you ask "why did that occur", and so on. You keep
going until you get to something fundamental, or until you reach
something that's completely outside your control. A rule of
thumb seems to be that 5 iterations is a reasonable average, but
this is not a hard rule... it may take only 3 levels of "why", or you
may still be asking "why" 5 weeks from now. It just depends on
the problem.

Now, can you spot the problems in the procedure summarized

above? I can think of a few, but there are two that I think are
really important. First, there is the assumption that a single
cause, at each level of "why", is sufficient to explain the effect in
question. This is rarely the case! Most often, you need a set of
jointly sufficient causes to create any single effect. Second, what
if one of your "why" answers is wrong? Maybe your answer was
possible, but what if the actual cause (i.e., set of causes) was
something else entirely? Even worse, what if your seemingly
plausible answer was completely out to lunch?

One of the advantages of the 5 Whys is that it gets you to fairly

deep, underlying causes. A major disadvantage is that if you
make a mistake answering just one "why" question, your entire
analysis gets thrown off. Even worse, the earlier your mistake in

1188
the process, the further off your root cause is going to be. At that
point, it won't matter if you ask "why" 5 times or five million
times.
If you want to avoid these problems, try modifying the
questioning process as follows. Once you've finished your initial
line of questioning, go back to your answer for the first "why"
and ask some other questions.

1. What proof do I have that this cause exists? (Is it concrete? Is

it measurable?)
2. What proof do I have that this cause could lead to the stated
effect? (Am I merely asserting causation?)
3. What proof do I have that this cause actually contributed to
the problem I'm looking at? (Even given that it exists and
could lead to this problem, how do I know it wasn't actually
something else?)
4. Is anything else needed, along with this cause, for the stated
effect to occur? (Is it self-sufficient? Is something needed to
help it along?)
5. Can anything else, besides this cause, lead to the stated
effect? (Are there alternative explanations that fit better?
What other risks are there?)

The point of these questions is to establish existence, necessity,

and sufficiency. Keep asking these five questions for every cause,
at every level of questioning. If you diagram all this, you will end
up with a tree of causal factors leading up to the original
problem. Some may be less important than others, but you will
have a much more complete picture of the causes leading up to
your problem. Even better, you may find a more important cause
than previously considered. At the very least, you will have
avoided the "straight-line causation" trap.

1189
4.19 THE JOHARI WINDOW

The Johari Window is a model for explaining the different ways

people approach self-awareness and feedback. It was designed
by two Californian psychologists, Jo Luft and Harry Ingham
(hence Jo-Hari) and originally published in 1959.

Explain the Model, Please

Originally, Luft and Ingham devised a psychological tool for self-

help groups in which the subject and his or her observers were
given a list of 56 adjectives. The list included words like "bold",
"cheerful", "confident", "sentimental", "sympathetic" and so on.
Both the subject and observers then selected 5 or 6 adjectives

1190
that fitted their view of the subject. These adjectives were then
mapped onto a grid.

The 4 Panes Model of the Johari Window

The grid on which the adjectives were plotted looks like a square
composed of four windows. One way to understand the grid is to
imagine yourself as the subject looking in from the left and your
observers looking down from the top. You can only both see so
far, your line being vertical from top to bottom and their line
being horizontal from side to side. Now you have a window with
four panes showing the following:

at the top left, things that are known to you and known to
others. In Luft and Ingham's self-help groups, this is where
adjectives selected by both you and your observers would go.
This is your "open" arena.

at the top right, things that are known to others but not you.
These would be adjectives selected by your observers but not
you. This is your "blind spot" area.

at the bottom left, things that are known to you but not others.
These would be adjectives selected by you but not others and is
your facade or mask area.

at the bottom right, things that are not known to others or you,
ie things that either remain as potential or well and truly hidden.
This is your unknown area.

The Johari Window in Self-Development

The most valuable use of the Johari Window is as a tool in self-

development. We can use the knowledge of the four windows as
a way of finding out more about how others see us in our blind

1191
spot, being more willing to open up our facades, and exploring
our unknown areas. We can either do it across all our
relationships or in a particular relationship where we want to be
more open. The tool can be highly beneficial. People who are in
the process of enlarging their open areas for themselves and
others are usually regarded as happier, more giving, and with
better relationships.

1192
4.20 DECISION MAKING
Decision making skills can be very important in a careers
context: Which career should I choose? Which university should
I go to? Which course should I study? Of course they are also
valuable in many other contexts in life.

The key steps in decision making are:

1. Clarify the nature of the problem before deciding action.

What is the purpose of the decision?
What is the expected outcome?
What are the key priorities: time, money, quality? Will a quick,
cheap and cheerful solution do or do you need to invest time and
cash to get things absolutely right?

2. Collect and summarise the data systematically.

Decisions can't be made in a vacuum! Gather, collate, classify and
organise the information you need to make a decision. You need
to analyse and evaluate all the important factors in making the
decision. Analyse the various factors involved in the problem and
identify the key ones.

Highlight any critical factors upon which the success on the

decision will hinge.

Sound out the views and opinions of others: they may see
something you have missed.

3. Use creativity/initiative in the generation of alternative

solutions to the problem.

1193
Produce a list of all the courses of action you can think of without
trying to narrow these down. At this stage just produce a list of
possible courses of action without trying to evaluate these.
Brainstorming may help here (see below)

Think outside the box: don't just look at the obvious and tried
and tested options. Don't be afraid to challenge the status quo.

How to brainstorm
The purpose of brainstorming is to produce as many
possible options as possible without evaluating them.
Get a blank sheet of paper and write down any idea or
possible solution which may help.
Don't censor your ideas. Write down everything, no
matter how silly or insignificant to keep the flow going as
once idea might lead to another.
Only once all the ideas have dried up, cross out or adapt
all the weaker ideas: this should still leave you with a
number of possible solutions.
Brainstorming can be done in a group, in which case no
comments should be made about the decisions proposed
or group members put down for proposing unusual
ideas.

4. Produce a SHORT list of the best options.

Remove any obviously poorer choices. Don't have too many
options in your final list or it will be too confusing.
Differentiate between practical and impractical solutions.

5. Make your decision

For each of your shortlist of options consider its advantages and
disadvantages. Try to recognise any inconsistencies in your
reasoning and question any assumptions you have made.

1194
Evaluate each option against the key factors to consider the
combined effect of all the factors. Weight each factor in terms of
importance paying particular attention to any critical factors.

See the decision matrix below to help you do this.

Sometimes you may get so immersed that you may not be able to
see the wood for the trees: if this happens sleep on it and
postpone the decision until the next day. This may give you a
fresh perspective.

Using a DECISION MATRIX to help you to decide between

alternatives:

Make a short list of your key options and look at the positives
and negatives for each item. Below is a very simple example. You
could include many more factors.

Which career would be most appropriate for me: teacher, youth

worker or sales executive?
Factors important to Factor Youth Sales
Teacher
me in my career choice Weighting Worker Executive
9 7
Job security high (x 3) 4 (x3=12)
(x3=27) (x3=21)
Informal working medium 9
4 (x2=8) 3 (x2=6)
environment (x2) (x2=18)
9 to 5 work low (x1) 6 (x1=6) 1 (x1=1) 5 (x1=5)
Good salary low (x1) 4 (x1=4) 3 (x1=3) 8 (x1=8)
Job satisfaction low (x1) 6 (x1=6) 7 (x1=7) 5 (x1=5)
Total 51 50 36

This suggests that for this particular person teaching and youth
work would both be good alternatives, but a career in sales

1195
probably wouldn't suit them. Of course intuition (gut reaction)
can also play a major part in making decisions, but a decision
matrix may at least give you an idea of which is the most logical
choice.

6. Implement your decision

Try to have a backup (contingency) plan in case your first option

doesn't work out.

Learn to argue your solution if there is opposition from others

If it is a group decision, consider the implications for the other
members of the team.

Communicate your ideas to the other team members, explain

your reasoning and make sure they understand the logic behind
it and get their commitment to carry it out.

7. Evaluate how well things went

Learn from the experience especially if your solution does not
prove successful!

Copyright University of Kent Careers Advisory Service.

1196
Mae Brown

When you have to make a choice and don't make it, that is in itself
a choice. William James

Some persons are very decisive when it comes to avoiding

decisions. Brendan Francis

You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a

chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another
choice. Steven Woodhull

Decision is a sharp knife that cuts clean and straight; indecision, a

dull one that hacks and tears and leaves ragged edges behind it.
Gordon Graham

Whether you decide you can or you can't, you're right!

Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes
from bad decisions.

1197
4.21 TIME MANAGEMENT
Why use time management skills?

It's important that you develop effective strategies for managing

your time to balance the conflicting demands of time for study,
leisure, earning money and jobhunting. Time management skills
are valuable in jobhunting, but also in many other aspects of life:
from revising for examinations to working in a vacation job.

Sometimes it may seem that there isn't enough time to do

everything that you need to. This can lead to a build up of stress.
When revising for examinations, or during your final year when
you have to combine the pressures of intensive study with
finding time to apply for jobs good management of your time can
be particularly important. Once we have identified ways in which
we can improve the management of our time, we can begin to
adjust our routines and patterns of behaviour to reduce any
time-related stress in our lives.

What skills are required for effective time management?

Some skills involved are:

Setting clear goals,

Breaking your goals down into discreet steps
Reviewing your progress towards your goals
Prioritising - focusing on urgent and important tasks rather
than those that are not important or don't move you towards
your goals;
Organising your work schedule; list making to remind you of
what you need to do when; persevering when things are not
working out
Avoiding procrastination.

1198
You should have a reminder system to tell you of when you need
to do what: don't try to remember everything in your head as
this is a recipe for disaster! Carry a pen and paper or organiser
wherever you go. At the simplest level your reminder system
could simply be to use your diary to write down the things you
need to do, including appointments and deadlines. Before
interviews, it's fine to write down the questions you wish to ask
on a small piece of card or notepad.

A daily list of tasks that need to be done is an essential part of

action planning. Refer to and update this regularly. Prioritise
items on the list into important/not important and urgent/non-
urgent. Such a list can take a variety of formats but an example is
given to the right. Update your list daily, crossing off completed
tasks and adding new tasks that need to be done. Urgent or
important tasks can be highlighted with an asterisk.

Advantages of using a to do list

Focuses your mind on important objectives

You are less likely to forget to do tasks
Writing a list helps order your thoughts
It helps show the bigger picture
You don't need to hold everything in your head.
It saves time
It helps you decide on priorities: the most important and
the most urgent
You are less likely to become sidetracked
You get the reward of ticking off your achievements
You feel more in control
You have a record of what you've done
You always have something to work on

1199
Setting Goals
Set yourself specific and clearly defined goals, and make sure
that these are realistic and achievable. To do this, you first need
to examine your present situation and assess what goals are
important to you and what action you need to take to achieve
your target. Have a contingency plan or alternative route to your
goal in case you have to change your plans, for example, taking a
relevant postgraduate course if you can't get a job.

Prioritising
Efficiency and effectiveness are not the same. Someone who
works hard and is well organised but spends all their time on
unimportant tasks may be efficient but not effective. To be
effective, you need to decide what tasks are urgent and
important and to focus on these. This is called prioritising. It's
important to list the tasks you have and to sort these in order of
priority, and then to devote most time to the most important
tasks. This avoids the natural tendency to concentrate on the
simple, easy tasks and to allow too many interruptions to your
work.

Differentiate also between urgent and important tasks: an urgent

task may not necessarily be important! When jobhunting, you
won't be able to apply to every employer. You will need to
carefully prioritise those you wish to apply to, based upon
factors such as closing date, location, degree class required, and
chances of getting in.

Avoiding Procrastination
Procrastination is the scourge of action planning. It's important
that you manage 'Your fear of doing things' you don't want to do
and realise that the fear is often far worse than any possible
negative results. Try to take decisions immediately when
possible and when you don't need to gather more information
pertinent to the decision. The best time to do something is

1200
usually NOW. Taking action generates the impetus for further
action. Many applications to prestigious employers now need to
be made in the first term of your final year and if you
procrastinate you'll miss the deadlines.

Breaking down tasks

Break goals down into their components so that you can
accomplish them one step at a time. Write these steps down, and
try to be as specific as you can when you do this. Try to complete
one task before you go on to the next.
Reward yourself for achieving these goals to maintain your
enthusiasm. For example, when you are invited to your first
interview, treat yourself to a good meal with friends. Regularly
review your progress towards your goals and revise plans as
appropriate to take account of unforeseen changes.

Persevering
Inevitably, things will not always run smoothly as you progress
towards your goals. When things are not working out, you need
to persevere and learn how to take a positive attitude towards
frustration and failure.

Mistakes are a crucial part of any creative process and each is a

lesson leading you towards the right solution. Fear of making or
admitting mistakes is a major handicap to taking effective action.
It is said that the people who have achieved the most have made
the most mistakes! Try to be aware that satisfaction comes as
much from pursuing goals as from achieving them.

Work at effective strategies to deal with pressure - these can

vary from taking exercise, to relaxation techniques such as Yoga,
to simply sharing problems with friends. Being assertive can also
help here, for example, politely saying no to the demands of
others when you are pushed for time. Sharing tasks and

1201
problems with others will spread the burden and will bring a
fresh perspective to them.

Organising your time

Identify areas of your life where you are wasting time and try to
reduce these. A good way to do this is to log everything you do
for a week in meticulous detail and then examine your record to
see how you use (or misuse!) your time.

Develop a regular work routine. Keep your work space tidy so

that you can work efficiently - it's hard to do this if things you
need to find are buried under a pile of paper! Work to schedule
so that you meet deadlines in good time - don't leave everything
until the last minute. If you have a difficult essay to write, start
by drafting out the structure first- this will break the ice.

When applying for jobs keep copies of all the applications you
have made and keep a log of the date you applied, result, and a
record of all your interviews, plus you were questions asked.
This will help you to keep track of your progress and spot areas
where you could improve.

USING A TIME LOG

One useful way to eliminate wasted time is to use a time log.
First you need to make up a chart for the next seven days divided
into half hour intervals starting at the time you get up and
finishing at the time you go to bed. Write down what you did in
each half hour of the day for the next seven days. Choose a
typical week. An example for one day is given to the right.

At the end of the week examine your time log and ask yourself
the following questions:

1202
 Are there any periods that I could use more
productively?
At what time of day do I do my most effective work?
Some people are most alert in the morning, whilst
others concentrate best during the afternoon or evening.
Schedule your most important tasks for these times of
day.

A time log can be particularly useful at times of pressure, for

example, when revising for examinations or jobhunting during
your final year.
By now you should have been able to identify ways in which you
could manage your time more efficiently, and know some
techniques to allow you to do this.

Source: University of Kent (http://www.kent.ac.uk)

Time Management Training from ManageTrainLearn.

There are 7 scales against which we can measure ourselves as
time managers at work. They are:
1. Control: is control of your time with you or others?
2. Pace: is your pace of work even or erratic?
3. Direction: do you have short-term or long-term objectives?
4. Variety: is there a little or a lot of variety in your work?
5. Ownership: do you own what you do or do others?
6. Volume: does the amount of work you do result in overloads
or underloads?
7. Balance: is there an equal or unequal balance in the different
tasks you do?

1203
Time-Fillers
Time-fillers are those people who see time as a stretch of eight
hours work each day or 40 hours a week which somehow has to
be filled and endured.
Time-fillers...
put themselves at others' beck and call
fill up their time in empty ritual, pastimes and competitive
game-playing
swing from boredom to crisis and back again
lack any pace of work; sometimes they allow themselves to fall
behind time and so have to rush, while at other times nobody
has anything for them to do so they waste their time and
become bored.
have no sense of direction
find themselves underworked or overworked
suffer stress as a result of not being in control of their time.
Time Managers
Time managers see time as a partner in helping them achieve
their goals and objectives. Sometimes time will be less helpful, eg
when things aren't ready for action; sometimes time will be
more than helpful, eg when offering them opportunities to seize
the moment and get ahead.
Time managers...
know what they want to achieve with their time
feel in control even when there is little personal freedom to
arrange their working day
work closely with others
work at an even pace without highs or lows
have a sense of direction
are able to vary their activities to maintain their interest
can balance their tasks
feel a sense of accomplishment and achievement.

1204
Edward Sheldrick describes people at work as either pearl
crushers or pearl divers.
Pearl crushers are those who miss the opportunities that work
affords. They let others determine how they spend their time and
blame them when they feel they underachieve.
Pearl divers are those who look for the hidden jewels on the sea-
bed. They see work as an endless adventure and a means to
achieve, serve and accomplish.
Time Robbers: Others
1. incomplete information from others
2. employees bringing problems
3. the telephone
4. routine tasks
5. unnecessary and long meetings
6. drop-in visitors
7. outside activities
8. crisis management
9. poor communications
10. insufficient planning.

Time Robbers: Ourselves

1. attempting to do too much at once
2. unrealistic time estimates
3. procrastination
4. not listening
5. not saying "No"
6. doing it myself
7. stacked desk
8. delegating responsibility without authority
9. personal disorganisation
10. personality tendency towards workaholism.

1205
Efficient or Effective?

Many people fail to make the best use of their time because they
fail to see the difference between being efficient and being
effective.
Efficiency is doing things by the book. It may be the way to do a
job in the least amount of time. Because of this, efficient people
pride themselves on being good time managers. However, they
are often slaves to routines and may be blind to the fact that the
job may not need to be done at all.
Effectiveness means taking a wider view of things than the
blinkered approach of efficiency. It means taking time to think
through goals and purposes and creating choices not just
following rules. Effective working is smart work, not necessarily
hard work.

The Pareto Principle

When you need to decide, "what is the best use of my time right
now?", one answer lies in the Pareto Principle. Vilfredo Pareto
was an Italian economist who, in 1906, discovered that 20% of
the people in his homeland controlled 80% of the country's
wealth.

So, in the Pareto time management principle,

20% of your tasks (ie your top tasks) should require 80% of
your time
80% of your results should come from 20% of your actions
80% of your time should be spent with 20% of the people you
know.

1206
Time Paradigms
We each have our own way of seeing time according to our own
work personalities:
planners set high store by how well they fill up each working
hour and minute. They like to be busy.
team workers set high store by the relationships they form at
work. Time at work means time with others.
achievers set high store by using their time to work their way
up the organisational ladder.
creative people like to work on something special and may
dismiss routine time as boring and unnecessary
active people find time passes quicker if they can get immersed
in new experiences and activities
dominating people like to get the most out of every minute by
living life to the full. To do this they may act recklessly and refuse
to plan their time.
relaxed people set high score by avoiding doing too much and
concentrating instead on enjoying their time.

Balancing Each Day

Balancing each day's activities is not simply a healthy way of
working; it is also the most productive and enjoyable. To follow
an intense period of brainwork with some time doing physical
work; then to follow that with some time on a project, followed
by time with friends, is to create a rich and whole texture to the
day. By seeking to create a balance of the different types of tasks
that we must carry out each day, we are able to have order with
spontaneity, the challenging with the practical; routine with
innovation; and introspection with the pleasure of others.

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None of us knows what, by our life's end, we might be capable of
achieving. We only know that if we do not use the time that we
have, - and none of us knows how much time each of us has, -
then the potential we have will not be fulfilled.
A/ Routine Time
Routine tasks are the things we do to keep body and soul
together and the workplace functioning. For us as individuals,
they are the set piece habits around which our day is built.
For the organisation, they are the procedures by which regular
work and maintenance work gets done. All workplace
organisations require systems. They form the backbone around
which the organisation keeps control. And it is in systems that
some of the greatest opportunities exist to save time.
The following tips will help you establish the quickest times to
do your routine work:
When you do routine work, eliminate interference or
distractions from outside
Organise the work layout so everything you need is at hand
Time the tasks and see if they can't be done more quickly
Automate and use labour-saving devices where you can
bunch similar jobs together, eg phone calls and letter writing
Aim for continuous workflows with no hold-ups or delays
Obtain materials "just in time" for your needs
When you have defined the optimum method, train everyone,
until you find a better method still. Then train them all again.

The Five S's

The five S's is a Japanese methodology which is a standardized
way of doing things efficiently. The 5 steps can be applied to
routines for any physical materials management, including
stores and paper. These are the 5 steps:

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a. Sort. Go through all your materials and keep only the
essentials. Store or discard the rest.
b. Set in Order. Find a place for what is needed and put things in
their place.
c. Sweep. Clean as you go. Tidy up at the end of the day. Put
things back in their place.
d. Standardize. Ensure everyone knows the system
e. Sustain. Operate this way until a better method comes along.

Habits

Habits are those things we do regularly without having to think

about them. The benefit of habit tasks is that they can be done on
automatic pilot and thus rest the conscious brain.
These tips can help you make the most of time spent on habits:
identify the triggers that set habits off; do them at set regular
times
use sequences and checklists to memorise habit tasks
look for shortcuts
look to double up activities. This is known as the Shoe-shine
Principle: while you're getting your shoes shined, you can do
something else such as make a phone call or read a
newspaper.
aim for an optimum time to complete habitual tasks
prepare and arrange your materials before you start; tidy up as
you go
aim to eliminate bad habits and replace them with good ones.
Maintenance Tasks
It is a well-researched fact that we do not work well when our
physical surroundings are unsafe, uncomfortable or untidy. The
American psychologist Frederick Herzberg called these the
"hygiene" factors and believed that they can have a de-
motivating effect on our work if they are not attended to.

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Working on the hygiene factors means spending time attending
to the following:
making the work area neat and tidy
ensuring you have the right heating, lighting and ventilation for
your needs
taking regular breaks
making sure your systems are safe
organizing the work space so you are comfortable
having a pleasing decor.
Chores
Routine work can either seem to drag or fly depending on the
way we look at it. If we regard routines as chores, the time will
hang heavy as we think about more pleasurable alternatives. If
we change our attitude and work with the flow and pace of the
job, the time will pass quickly.
Here's how:
focus on the task, rather than wishing you weren't doing it
think about what you are doing, rather than something else
do it not because of any immediate gain but because you want
to do it
feel the therapeutic effects of doing routine tasks in which you
can switch off
work out a rhythm in the job and lose yourself in it
turn it into a game, a challenge, or a learning adventure.
Deskmanship
The amount of paperwork generated every day in our
workplaces is huge, much of it excessive and time-wasting.
To prevent yourself drowning in a sea of paperwork, practise the
three golden rules of deskmanship:
rule 1: aim for a clear desk

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 rule 2: handle every piece of paper only once; move incoming
correspondence immediately to its next destination.
rule 3: have a regular clear out of files.
Paper Control
If you have to keep your paperwork, here are 3 things you must
do to keep it under control:
1. Mark It. Simply put a small mark on the top right-hand corner
every time you handle a piece of paper that is lying around
without a proper place. After about 20 aimless marks, guilt
should kick in and force you to do something about it.
2. Sort It. Don't dither. Make up your mind to do one of 5 things
with your piece of paper: bin it; file it; store it as a record; send it
to someone for action; do whatever you must to end its presence.
3. Store It. Stored paperwork needs 3 simple systems: a colour-
coding system to make it easier to find; an out-take system to
keep track of it if it is removed; and a bring-forward system for
actioning it.
Carrying out routine work is not the most glamorous part of time
management. It can be repetitive, dull, and a chore. But, it is in
routine work that the greatest opportunities for saving time can
be found. And if you discover the golden hour you save, you can
do with it as you please.
B/ Time on Progress Work

Progress work is work that innovates, breaks new ground, and

takes us forward. It creates something new. When we spend time
on progress work, we can actually see results, either bit by bit as
we progress, or when the work is completed.
Although big projects are the most obvious examples of progress
work, we can also be creative in lots of small ways when we want
to improve on now. Here are 7 steps in progress work.

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1. Set Your Mission
The starting point of any goal-achievement is to think about your
mission or purpose. What is the point of it all? A mission goes
much further than just a goal. It is about manifesting your own
values, creating something unique, and becoming all you, and
your team if you are working with one, can become.
As Steven Covey said: A mission statement focuses on what you
want to be (character), and to do (contributions and
achievements) and on the values and principles upon which
being and doing are based.
Tip: Start by writing down on one sheet of paper the things that
are important to you in going for this particular goal.

2. Pick Your Key Areas

The gap between dreaming a mission and achieving it is to break
the mission down into key areas that you need to work on. For
example, if your aim is to become fit, the key areas could be:
Exercise; Diet; Sleep; Lifestyle; and Relaxation.
When you have identified your key areas, then you need to spend
time finding out about each one of these. This research and
information-gathering goes on for the whole length of your
journey towards your goal.
Tip: Stick to no more than 5 or 6 key areas.

3. Write Down Your SMART Goals

SMART goals are goals that are defined as: Specific; Measurable;
Achievable; Realistic; and Time-bounded.
Tip: Distinguish between SMART goals which have deadlines and
Big goals that dont. Follow the 5 steps outlined above to reach
your SMART goals by going from now forwards.

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Dream about your Big goals which have no fixed deadlines by
going from their realization in your imagination backwards.

4. Jot down To-Do Lists

If you are working in a number of key areas, with a range of
SMART goals in each of them, you could have as many as 15
ongoing activities at any one time. Keeping an occasional to-do
list is a way to review all of these activities and keep them at the
forefront of your mind.
Tip: Alec McKenzie recommends writing out to-do lists every
evening and then working through them the following day.

5. Prioritize Your To-Do List

There are two ways to prioritize the activities on your to-do list.
You can decide if they are urgent or if they are important.
Urgent tasks are those that have a deadline to them. They are
also tasks that we want to do because the time is right or feels
right, i.e. were in the mood.
Important tasks are those that you believe will bring you
quickest to your goals.
Tasks that are both urgent and important are the ones you
should devote time to.
Tasks that are not both of these can be relegated down your to-
do list or delegated to somebody else.
Tip: You must be ruthless about tasks that are neither important
nor urgent and dump them.

6. Schedule Your Tasks

It is much better to schedule tasks than leave them to be done
when you feel like it. For example, you are much more likely to

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exercise regularly if you do it at a set time each day. One of the
best scheduling systems is the 60-20-20 system. This means
filling up 60% of your diary with your important tasks and
leaving 20% for things that crop up and 20% for emergencies.
Tip: Use the luggage-hold method when planning your diary.
This means putting the biggest tasks in your diary first and then
fitting the smaller ones around them. Just like the way you put
luggage in the boot of your car.
7. Take Action
A time management system should be a living, dynamic system
rather than a dull, repetitive one cast in concrete. Thats why you
should inject into your system room for surprises, room for
learning, and room for doing what you enjoy. In this way, youll
not only like the system, youll achieve your goals much more
quickly than you thought possible at the start.
All of us carry out progress work, whether it is wallpapering a
room of our house or installing a new computer system at work.
By starting with the end result in mind, i.e. our mission and
goals, we need to plan and organize the many tasks that bit by bit
create the final result. Progress work is one of the most
satisfying and productive uses of our time.

C/ Time and Projects

Time is one of the key factors in determining whether projects
are managed well. There are three constraints in a project: time,
cost and quality. At the start of a project, all three will be
estimated. If time on the project is managed well, which means
that the project comes in on time without seriously
compromising the cost and quality, then the project will have
partly succeeded. If the cost and quality also come in on target
without affecting the time, then the whole project would be
regarded as a success.

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A project is a combination of human and non-human resources
pulled together in a temporary organisation to achieve a
specified purpose. The aim is to produce a result in a given time,
at a given cost and to a given quality. These aims are inter-
related. If you increase resources to increase the quality, you
may reduce the time but you will increase the cost. If you reduce
the resources to save money, you may increase the time. If you
reduce the time, you may reduce one set of costs but increase
them further with the need for extra resources such as more
people.

The Phases of a Project

All projects have 4 phases:
Phase 1: This phase involves the initiation of a project between
project sponsor or coachee and the project team. It is likely to
cover the definition and scope of the project, initial time
estimates and risk analysis.
Phase 2: This phase involves the planning and design of the
project and the go-ahead.
Phase 3: This phase consists of the implementation of the project
and its monitoring, control and co-ordination.
Phase 4: This phase involves bringing the project in on time, on
budget and on specification. Alternatively, it involves winding up
a project that is no longer needed.

Estimating Project Times

The first stage in estimating the time of a project is to brainstorm
all the jobs that need to be carried out. Once you have done this,
you should check through them and start to build a working list.
Check that you haven't missed anything out and that you have
included the many small and apparently unimportant jobs that

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have to be done, such as administration, co-ordinating, holding
meetings. Ruthlessly eliminate anything that doesn't have to be
done. Once you have produced a finished list of project tasks, you
must then place time estimates against each task, ensuring you
are as accurate as possible.
Network Analysis
Network analysis is a generic name for a variety of techniques
which are used to analyse the sequence of tasks in a project. The
aim of network analysis is to make a complex series of tasks
simpler to understand and schedule. It does this by sequencing
tasks in order and doubling them up where possible to save time.
From this you can then calculate the overall time for the project
and the shortest time in which the project can be completed. This
is the critical path. You cannot carry out the project in less time
than the critical path without an effect on cost or quality.

Planning, Scheduling, and Tracking

Planning is an essential part of managing a project. Based on
your critical paths and network analysis, you should know the
best time your project will take as well as what problems might
get in the way of achieving these deadlines and what you will do
if any problems do arise. Once your plans are laid down, you
should enter them into a schedule based on the availability of
resources, both people and materials. You then need to track
progress through detailed auditing and reports, always with the
aim of being on, or ahead of, plan.
Crashing
Crashing means resolving project problems by shortening the
length of time that the project takes. This may be because you
are behind schedule or an opportunity arises to speed up work.
There are many ways to crash a project. You could transfer
resources from non-critical to critical tasks, do jobs in parallel

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rather than sequentially, or simply cut out non-essentials. More
drastic measures can be taken with your project sponsors such
as reducing the scope of the project.
Bringing a Project in on Time
A study by psychologists at Sussex University shows that most
people fail to complete projects on time. There are 3 reasons for
this. First, we always look forward when making plans and
rarely at what happened in similar situations in the past. Second,
we ignore what can go wrong. And third, we concentrate on how
early we would like to complete the project and use that as the
estimated time. It doesn't matter whether the project is a big one
or a small one. For example, the Channel Tunnel came in a year
late and 100% over budget. The Sydney Opera House opened 10
years late and 1300% over budget.
To succeed in any project, large or small, it is essential to meet
your sponsor's requirements on time, cost, and quality. Only by
managing the project efficiently at each stage and using the best
estimating, planning, and scheduling techniques of time
management is this possible.

D/ Non-Doing Work
The Industrial Age from which we are presently emerging had no
time for non-doing work. Work was organised to fill up the time
with as much productive activity as possible. In the Information
Age into which we have now moved, productive work requires
intelligence and creativity. Time to stop and think has become an
essential feature of working.
Let Things Happen
One of the reasons why stress is at record levels in our work-
places is the belief that you must be active all the time for
anything to happen. In fact, the contrary is the case. When you
remove yourself and trust that things will happen as they should,

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then, even if we dont understand how, things will happen at the
right time in the right way. As Benjamin Hoff says in The Tao of
Pooh: Its hard to explain, except by example, but it works.
Things just happen in the right way, at the right time. At least
they do when you let them, when you work with circumstances
instead of saying, This isnt supposed to be happening this way
and trying hard to make it happen in some other way. If youre in
tune with The Way Things Work, then they work the way they
need to, no matter what you may think at the time.
Use Your Brains
All of us possess an amazing machine in our brains known as the
creative sub-conscious. This is the source of all our best ideas.
Yet, when we are rushing around like headless chickens, we
dont allow our sub-conscious brains to come to our rescue.
Often we put a lot of busyness into a task only to realize later on
that, if wed stopped and thought about things, we could have
found a smarter, quicker, or more productive solution.

Stop and Tune In

In his book Life Tide, Lyall Watson records the phenomenon of
a group of macata monkeys stranded on a Japanese island, all
discovering the right way to prepare food even though they
werent in any obvious form of contact with each other. It was as
if there were a collective consciousness telling them what to do.
The same thing can happen to human beings. We can sense the
times, sniff the wind, and roll with the tides. In this way, we can
tune in to what is happening and make the journey free and
effortless.
Take a Break
Breaks are essential for productive work. Research shows that
there is a basic physiological rhythm to our day governed by our
automatic and endocrine systems. This is known as the Break

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Rest Activity Cycle and lasts between 90 and 120 minutes.
Thats why breaks are necessary to give us energy and refresh
us.

Take Time to Plan

In the West, we prize action over inaction. We, therefore,
complete one task and hurry on to the next. In the East, by
contrast, non-action is prized as highly as action, if not more.
These cultures like to measure progress by more means than just
results. They spurn impatience and hurry, knowing that, if you
prepare well, a moment eventually arrives when things are
ready for implementation and they practically complete
themselves.

Take Time Out

It is when you work in fast-moving environments that you need
to remember to take time out. Time out enables you to get away
from all the problems that usually clutter up your work and see
things more clearly. When running Microsoft, Bill Gates, used to
take a week out of his schedule every year to go somewhere
where nobody could reach him just to think things through. This
habit made him into one of the richest people on the planet.

Meet with Yourself

Just as sufficient planning before action can reduce the time a
project takes, so can review after the action. In fact, in repetitive
tasks it is vital. Review, or meeting with yourself, enables you to
look back and learn. You can see the big picture and put things
into some kind of perspective. It also enables you to see the
mistakes you made and to consider how you can do things better
next time.
Non-doing work isnt just thinking and planning; its also
recuperating and refreshing yourself. In his bestselling book,

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The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey called it
sharpening the saw and made it one of the keystones of
personal effectiveness.
E/ Time and Others
Time Stealers are people who, without anything to do with their
own time, steal yours from you as well. They fill up their hours
by wasting yours. Often these are close colleagues, customers,
even your own boss, so it can be difficult to know how to deal
with them. But, unless you want to join this gang of thieves, you
must learn to say No to Time Stealers.
1. Manage Your Interruptions
One of the reasons why we allow others to take over our time at
work is our need to know what is going on. Henry Mintzberg,
professor of management at McGill University in Montreal,
discovered that the majority of a managers time is spent
receiving and responding to hearsay, rumour, and news.
Managers feel a great need to know whats going on and they do
this by letting themselves be interrupted by others. If this is you,
you need to be aware of how much of your time is usefully spent
in this way, and how much is wasted. In short, you need to know
how to manage your interruptions.
2. Avoid These Time Wasters
One of the keys to managing your interruptions is to distinguish
between people who bring you useful information and those
who dont. This latter group comprises 3 types in particular that
you should avoid like the plague:
moaners, whingers and complainers
the coffee-set who congregate during work
the watering-hole set who congregate after work.
Socialising with your team is fine if you can control it. Excessive
socializing is like begin sucked into a time-consuming swamp.

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3. Avoid the Gossipers
In 1650, Jeremy Taylor, chaplain to King Charles I, wrote a book
called Holy Living in which he warned against the dangers of
wasting time on gossip. He said, Avoid the company of
busybodies and all such as are apt to talk much to little purpose.
For no man can be provident of his time that is not prudent in
the choice of his company. And if one of the speakers be vain,
tedious and trifling, he that hears and he that answers in the
discourse are equal losers of their time.
4. Be Brief
In business, your time is your money. Wasting time with
unnecessarily long meetings with others is a way to let money
trickle down the drain. Channing H Cox once visited President
Calvin Coolidge whom he had succeeded as Governor of
Massachusetts. Cox, who was often detained at his desk until
well into the evening, was astonished to learn that Coolidge was
able to see so many people and still leave the office at 5.00pm.
Whats the difference? Cox asked.
You talk back, replied the President.
5. Be Brisk
When you learn how to be brisk with others, without being rude,
youll find a great ally in your quest to control your time. Clement
Attlee, prime minister of post-war Britain, was known for his
briskness at cabinet meetings. His knack was to stifle
unnecessary talk. One of Attlees exchanges ran as follows:
A good paper, minister. Do you need to add anything? (ie
theres no need to say anything if its just a repeat of whats in
the paper). - Has anyone any objections? (ie dont say anything
if its already been covered). - Right, then. Next item.

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6. Rescue Your Time
If you get people in your work space that you dont want, the
only way to rescue your time is to be polite but determined. Here
are some techniques to use:
ask directly what they want and how long they might be
suggest a time when you know you'll be free
have a regular "green period" slot when you are free each day
to see people
don't succumb to the temptation of a break from what you're
doing
agree to meet them at their workplace
point out that what you are doing is important and ask if their
interruption is more important
use appropriate body language to indicate they are not
welcome to stay, for example, stand up, perch on the edge of the
desk, move towards the door, avoid eye contact.
7. Use the Team
In teams who work as a team, there is an agreed allocating,
delegating and sharing of tasks to ensure good time management
by everyone.
Allocating: portioning out jobs to get the job done in the quickest
and most effective way.
Delegating: giving jobs to those best suited to do them, or who
want to do them or who can benefit from doing them.
Sharing: working together on jobs; complementing each other's
good points; taking your turn "on the watch"; saving time by
working as a team; doing things synergistically.
Use these techniques and youll be letting people know that
while youre willing to be gracious with people, youre going to
be ruthless with your time.

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Time with others is a connecting process, in which we engage
not just our rational brains, but our feelings as well. But time
with others, while essential for getting things done, can also be
one of the biggest time robbers. We can achieve nothing without
others; but if we are not careful, we can achieve nothing because
of others.

F/ Time Travellers
Our personalities are the key to finding out what kind of time
manager we are. Whether we tend to do too much or too little,
overwork or underwork, buzz around like a bee or freeze
through procrastination, all comes down to one thing: which of
the following Time Travellers are you?

1. The Perfectionist
The Perfectionist is one of the worst examples of a workaholic.
They fill up their days with work activities in the belief that
everything they do has to be as perfect as possible. George
Bernard Shaw was a typical workaholic. He wrote mechanically
every day of his career. Looking back on his life, he said, "When I
was a young man, I observed that nine out of ten things I did
were failures. I didn't want to be a failure, so I did ten times more
work."

2. The Socialiser
The Socialiser is not a good time manager. If you are in
conversation with a Socialiser, youll know this for they are the
hardest people to break away from. Socialisers simply love to be
with people, talk about people, and be of service to people. This
invariably means putting time and other duties into second
place.

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3. The Achiever
Achievers have mastered the art of looking like perfect time
managers. They seem to be good at everything they take on,
seem to manage things with effortless ease, and seem to enjoy
themselves in the process. But, beware, a lot of the impression
may be false. Achievers are good at show and not so good at
substance. When you are dealing with an Achiever, always look
under the surface at what theyve actually achieved.

4. The Artist
When you are dealing with an Artist time personality, youll
know it. They look different, dress different, and behave different
from others. They also have a cavalier attitude to time which
they regard as a constraint and restriction. They thus arrive late
or early, ignore rotas, and frequently miss deadlines. But the
work they produce is invariably one of a kind and in their eyes
makes up for their lax attitude to time.
5. The Analyser
The Analyser has a touch of the absent-minded professor about
them. They can easily get so wrapped up in their thoughts and
ideas or in conversation with others that they can forget the
routine details of daily life - such as preparing a meal, going to
bed on time, keeping appointments. But while their outer life
may be muddled, their inner world of thoughts is invariably rich
and gifted.
6. The Procrastinator
The Procrastinator is a person who hesitates to act because he or
she is unsure whether they should. It may be because something
hasn't been decided, or information isn't yet available or because
a higher authority hasn't sanctioned it. Procrastinators are the
great doubters, questioners and hesitators. In workplaces,
Procrastinators prefer to let others own their time rather than

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own it themselves. They will therefore drop anything at any time
if asked to, no matter what the cost in piled-up work or stress.

7. The Hurrier
The Hurrier is a person who manages to combine a wide range of
activities in a short space of time. Everything they do is done at a
quick pace: they move quickly, talk quickly, think quickly. They
are multi-talented and never say No to any job that comes their
way even if they move on to something more interesting before
they finish it. They are the human equivalent of the Hare in
Aesops fable.

8. The Rebel
Rebels are lifes fighters. They believe that time is something to
be challenged and beaten. They thus like to run late for
deadlines, coming to life in the tension this creates and knowing
that they will beat it in the end. They push time to the limit. They
embody the sentiments of Edna St Vincent Millay who wrote:
"My candle burns at both ends; it will not last the night.
But, ah, my foes and oh, my friends: it gives a lovely light."

9. The Wanderer
Wanderers are people who enjoy the freedom to do what they
like. In organizational settings, this can cause a problem. They
may not be totally committed to the work ethic and may go at
their own speed which makes them appear lazy. On the other
hand, Wanderers are far more in tune with the pace of the world
and may achieve a far higher level of contentment than the rest
of us.
When you know the kind of Time Traveller you are, you can
make adjustments in your plans to iron out the features that

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dont serve you well and enhance the ones that do. Thats the
secret of successful Time Travel!
100 Time-Saving Tips
"Many people assume that they can probably find many ways to
save time. This is an incorrect assumption for it is only when
you focus on spending time that you begin to use it effectively."
(Merrill Douglas)

1. Attitudes to Time
1. Value your time.
2. Treat time as a resource to be managed.
3. Use a time log to track your time.
4. Assess how much time you have to manage.
5. Negotiate more control over your working time.
6. Decide the best work pattern for yourself.
7. Get control of your tasks.
8. Have the freedom to balance your tasks.
9. Work at an even pace.
10. Plan ahead.
11. Balance the demands on your time.
12. Dont do more than you need to.
13. Use time to get results not just fulfil duties.
14. Do something productive and enjoyable each day.
15. Check whether you have a tendency to overwork or
underwork and adjust your work accordingly.
16. Enjoy your time by doing what you do best.
17. Inject variety into your daily tasks so that you look forward
to them.
18. Know your time management tendencies.

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2. Routine Tasks
19. Spend up to a quarter of your day on routine tasks.
20. Do routine tasks in the shortest time possible without
compromising quality.
21. Dont rush jobs that cant be rushed.
22. Develop good time habits so you dont have to think about
routines.
23. Experiment with different methods for doing routine tasks.
24. Use the Shoe-shine principle of doing two routine tasks at the
same time.
25. Make the most of shortcuts.
26. Prepare your materials in advance.
27. Tidy up as you go.
28. Automate tedious and repetitive jobs.
29. Identify bottle-necks and eliminate them.
30. Create easy work flows.
31. Use just-in-time systems to minimize clutter.
32. Bunch similar tasks together.
33. Identify the quickest work methods and then train everyone.
34. Know which jobs can be speeded up and which cant.
35. Have a regular time slot for doing your chores.
36. Put aside time for maintenance tasks.
37. Identify the time robbers that steal your time.

3. Paperwork
38. Question every bit of paper you use.
39. Dont encourage unnecessary paperwork.
40. Organise your filing systems at regular intervals.
41. Back up your computer records at fixed times.
42. Clear your files out regularly.
43. Keep your desk clear.
44. Handle every piece of paper just once.
45. Eliminate junk mail and spam.
46. Phone rather than write.

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47. Dont photocopy anything unless it is essential.
48. Send replies on the same piece of paper.
49. Keep your communications sweet and short.

4. Project Management
50. Manage your projects with time, cost and quality estimates.
51. Run projects with detailed time plans.
52. Add on 20% to your initial project plan times.
53. Have detailed lists of your project tasks.
54. Create a series of deadlines for your project tasks.
55. Look for weak links in your project and have back-up plans.
56. Streamline low-priority project tasks.
57. Keep on top of whats going on in your project.
58. Regularly ask what is the best use of my time right now?.
59. Track and monitor your project progress.

5. Progress Work
60. Spend up to a quarter of your day on progress work.
61. Be effective (ie achieve results)
62. and then efficient (ie do things in an ordered way in the
minimum time).
63. Always be working on something that is new and adds value.
64. Have a purpose to your life with a mission and goals.
65. Have a clear vision of your goals.
66. Align your goals with your values.
67. Be certain of achieving all your goals.
68. Write down your goals and your plans.
69. Identify your key result areas.
70. Set SMART goals for short-term tasks.
71. Identify jobs you dislike and delegate them to others.
72. Break down big jobs into smaller chunks.
73. Prioritise your tasks according to their importance.
74. When youre overwhelmed, write out to-do lists and
prioritise each task.

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75. Leave loose ends so you can come back to jobs easily.
76. Use little scraps of unused time for itsy-bitsy jobs.
77. Plan 60% of your day; leave the rest for what comes up.
78. Put big jobs in your diary first, then the little ones.
79. Celebrate reaching your goals.

6. Non-Doing Tasks
80. Spend up to a quarter of your day on non-doing tasks.
81. Take time out to sit and think.
82. Look after your health.
83. Get a sense of the times.
84. Take time to enjoy and appreciate.
85. Use the energy of the moment.
86. Occasionally just do what you want to do.
87. Take breaks at least every 90 minutes.
88. Review your day or week and see how you could improve
your time management.

7. Time With Others

89. Spend up to a quarter of your day with others.
90. Always turn up to meetings on time.
91. Be courteous and brisk with others.
92. Only hold meetings that have a clear purpose.
93. Let people know when youre not free.
94. Minimise unnecessary interruptions.
95. Learn to say No to jobs that arent yours.
96. Avoid time-wasters.
97. Control your phone.
98. Screen all incoming calls.
99. Devise a team time policy.
100. Keep a clock on the wall.

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"To get all there is out of living, we must employ our time wisely,
never being in too much of a hurry to stop and sip life, but never
losing our sense of the enormous value of each minute." (Robert
Updegraff)
Five Essential Time Management Strategies and Techniques
To Increase Productivity and Reduce Stress
How to personally implement Time Management Strategies and
Techniques is an essential skill for not only for life coaches to be
able to pass on to their clients, but for any business or
professional person.
Why? Because lack of time is often one of the key issues to come
up with people wanting to set and achieve their personal and
business goals.
So if you are working with them around goal setting, you can be
almost sure time management come up in the conversation. The
two are so interwoven.
Robyn Pearce is one of the worlds foremost and most engaging
experts on time management. In this interview she discuss five
her vital time management strategies and techniques:
1. Why traditional To Do lists dont work
2. Personal time management in dealing with overwhelm
3. Mastering the steps of delegation
4. Getting over the 'you've got mail' syndrome and managing
email better
5. Claiming your energy back from time stealers

My first question to Robyn was:

You say traditional "TO DO" lists often don't work. Why is this?
Robyn: To do lists ARE actually really important in learning time
management. The interesting thing is that most people will make
a To Do list and then start with the easiest thing first. Thats not
always the case, but I would say that around 80% of the people I

1230
work with would say that they start with the easy things first, the
things they can get out of the way quickly and feel a little bit of
success with.
Start with whats important
The problem with this can be that the bigger and more
challenging things which, in fact, will make the long-term
difference, tend to linger, so they become a stress source in
themselves. People tend to say, Ill just get this out of the way so
I can concentrate. But the reality is that this is doing things back
to front.
"Successful people start with the most important things first"
If we do something of significance first thing in the day then we
feel more effective in the time management game and are likely
to have a higher level of energy. This is because we have the win
of achieving one or two of the big things that are really important
on our list.
And heres another point on energy, We talk about time
management techniques and strategies but the reality is it is
energy management. When I say that to people, there is a little
quiet moment of reflection as they realize that is really what is
going on.
Plan for the week
Another important time management exercise around To Do lists
is weekly planning. On my website as well as lots of free time
management tips I have a free report: How To Master Time in 90
Seconds, which I really encourage people to download.
In that, I explain what I call my Toolbar of Time which shows
there are four significant areas that we need to talk about time
management strategies and techniques.

1231
The four things are:
1. Whats our big picture do we know what is important? What
are our goals? If we understand the relationship between goal
setting and time management then we are in a better position to
push back and say no to the things that are time stealing.
2. Planning and prioritizing: Which of course takes in the To Do
lists.
3. Time Management Techniques and Tips: The shortcuts and the
quick ways to make things work better and the system
improvements we can do. How can we better manager our
emails, our phone calls, our meetings, interruptions and so on. I
encourage people to become a walking question mark around
learning time management that is constantly looking for better
ways to do things, from our domestic tasks through to our
business systems.
4. Sanity Gaps: Which is where we fit in the work/life balance
issues and deal with stress and time management.
Not enough people plan on a weekly basis. We should use our
diary (whatever type we choose, online or paper) as a planning
tool to lock in some of the higher value things we need to do as
well as appointments. Successful people treat their diary as a
planning tool, not just as an appointment reminder.
To consolidate these and get into action, I really encourage you
take advantage of Robyns books, CDs, and a membership
program that gives access to interactive webinar seminars and
interviews with no geographic boundaries. Robyn invites you to
visit her Getting A Grip on Time website and take charge of your
time and your energy.
Source: Wendy Buckingham - : http://www.all-about-becoming-
a-life-coach.com/time-management-strategies-and-
techniques.html#ixzz1qnLySlYa

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4.22 STRATEGIC PLANNING
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Strategic planning is an organization's process of defining its

strategy, or direction, and making decisions on allocating its
resources to pursue this strategy, including its capital and
people. Various business analysis techniques can be used in
strategic planning, including SWOT analysis (Strengths,
Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats ), PEST analysis
(Political, Economic, Social, and Technological), STEER analysis
(Socio-cultural, Technological, Economic, Ecological, and
Regulatory factors), and EPISTEL (Environment, Political,
Informatic, Social, Technological, Economic and Legal).

Strategic planning is the formal consideration of an

organization's future course. All strategic planning deals with at
least one of three key questions:

1. "What do we do?"
2. "For whom do we do it?"
3. "How do we excel?"

In business strategic planning, the third question is better

phrased "How can we beat or avoid competition?". (Bradford
and Duncan, page 1). In many organizations, this is viewed as a
process for determining where an organization is going over the
next year or more -typically 3 to 5 years, although some extend
their vision to 20 years.

In order to determine where it is going, the organization needs

to know exactly where it stands, then determine where it wants
to go and how it will get there. The resulting document is called
the "strategic plan."

875
It is also true that strategic planning may be a tool for effectively
plotting the direction of a company; however, strategic planning
itself cannot foretell exactly how the market will evolve and
what issues will surface in the coming days in order to plan your
organizational strategy. Therefore, strategic innovation and
tinkering with the 'strategic plan' have to be a cornerstone
strategy for an organization to survive the turbulent business
climate.

Contents
1 Mission, vision and values
2 Mission statements and vision statements
3 Methodologies
4 Situational analysis
5 Goals, objectives and targets

MISSION, VISION AND VALUES

Mission: Defines the fundamental purpose of an organisation or

an enterprise, succinctly describing why it exists and what it
does to achieve its Vision. The mission could be either for the
long term or the short term. A corporate mission can last for
many years, or for the life of the organisation or may change as
the organisation develops. It is not an objective with a timeline,
but rather the overall goal that is accomplished as organisational
goals and objectives are achieved.

Vision: Defines the desired or intended future state of an

organization or enterprise in terms of its fundamental objective
and/or strategic direction. Vision is a long term view, sometimes
describing how the organization would like the world in which it
operates to be. For example a charity working with the poor

875
might have a vision statement which read "A world without
poverty"
It is sometimes used to set out a 'picture' of the organisation in
the future. A vision statement provides inspiration, the basis for
all the organisation's planning. It could answer the qiestion:
"Where do we want to go?"

Values: Beliefs that are shared among the stakeholders of an

organization. Values drive an organisation's culture and
priorities.

Strategy: Strategy narrowly defined, means "the art of the

general" (from Greek stratcgos). A combination of the ends
(goals) for which the firm is striving and the means (policies)by
which it is seeking to get there.

Mission statements and vision statements

Organizations sometimes summarize goals and objectives into a

mission statement and/or a vision statement Others begin
with a vision and mission and use them to formulate goals and
objectives.

While the existence of a shared mission is extremely useful,

many strategy specialists question the requirement for a written
mission statement. However, there are many models of strategic
planning that start with mission statements, so it is useful to
examine them here.

A Mission statement tells you the fundamental purpose of

the organization. It defines the customer and the critical
processes. It informs you of the desired level of performance.

A Vision statement outlines what the organization wants to

be, or how it wants the world in which it operates to be. It

875
 concentrates on the future. It is a source of inspiration. It
provides clear decision-making criteria.

An advantage of having a statement is that it creates value for

those who get exposed to the statement, and those prospects are
managers, employees and sometimes even customers.
Statements create a sense of direction and opportunity. They
both are an essential part of the strategy-making process.

Many people mistake vision statement for mission statement,

and sometimes one is simply used as a longer term version of the
other. The Vision should describe why it is important to achieve
the Mission. A Vision statement defines the purpose or broader
goal for being in existence or in the business and can remain the
same for decades if crafted well. A Mission statement is more
specific to what the enterprise can achieve itself. Vision should
describe what will be achieved in the wider sphere if the
organization and others are successful in achieving their
individual missions.

A mission statement can resemble a vision statement in a few

companies, but that can be a grave mistake. It can confuse
people. The mission statement can galvanize the people to
achieve defined objectives, even if they are stretch objectives,
provided it can be elucidated in SMART (Specific, Measurable,
Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound) terms. A mission
statement provides a path to realize the vision in line with its
values. These statements have a direct bearing on the bottom
line and success of the organization.

Which comes first? The mission statement or the vision

statement? That depends. If you have a new start up business,
new program or plan to re engineer your current services, then
the vision will guide the mission statement and the rest of the
strategic plan. If you have an established business where the

875
mission is established, then many times, the mission guides the
vision statement and the rest of the strategic plan. Either way,
you need to know your fundamental purpose - the mission, your
current situation in terms of internal resources and capabilities
(strengths and/or weaknesses) and external conditions
(opportunities and/or threats), and where you want to go - the
vision for the future. It's important that you keep the end or
desired result in sight from the start.

Features of an effective vision statement include:

Clarity and lack of ambiguity

Vivid and clear picture
Description of a bright future
Memorable and engaging wording
Realistic aspirations
Alignment with organizational values and culture

To become really effective, an organizational vision statement

must (the theory states) become assimilated into the
organization's culture. Leaders have the responsibility of
communicating the vision regularly, creating narratives that
illustrate the vision, acting as role-models by embodying the
vision, creating short-term objectives compatible with the vision,
and encouraging others to craft their own personal vision
compatible with the organization's overall vision. In addition,
mission statements need to be subjected to an internal
assessment and an external assessment. The internal assessment
should focus on how members inside the organization interpret
their mission statement. The external assessment which
includes all of the businesses stakeholders is valuable since it
offers a different perspective. These discrepancies between these
two assessments can give insight on the organization's mission
statement effectiveness.

875
Another approach to defining Vision and Mission is to pose two
questions. Firstly, "What aspirations does the organization have
for the world in which it operates and has some influence over?",
and following on from this, "What can (and /or does) the
organization do or contribute to fulfill those aspirations?". The
succinct answer to the first question provides the basis of the
Vision Statement. The answer to the second question determines
the Mission Statement.

MY MISSION

Great people are ordinary people with commitment.

Men and women fail in their life, not for lack of ability, or brains,
but simply because they have never organized their energies
around a central goal. (Elmer Wheeler.)

So, just what is YOUR personal mission?

- What is the purpose of your existence?
- What gets you out of bed on a cold winter's morning?
- What force drives you to action and productivity?

It's never too late or too early to do some serious thinking about
what it is that drives you and what your personal mission is or
should be. In all likelihood, this is the most important thinking
you can do, to make a difference in how you take charge of your
life!

Determine what it is you want in life, and make it CLEAR and

SPECIFIC.

This is precisely the purpose of your mission statement.

Your mission is the reason for your existence. It acts as a
beacona clear and specific objective that everything else is
guided by. When it is known, understood, accepted and

875
communicated, positive things happen and energy and effort are
no longer wasted. You will always know when you are headed in
the right direction.

The mission-setting process doesn't have to be complicated or

longwinded.
Here is an easy model to begin with:

To use my..(skills, talents, etc.)

to.(actions, etc.)
so that..(result).

If you can do that in 25 words and commit it to memory and to

your heart then you know your mission.

Examples of mission statements

- To create things of beauty so that others are inspired by and
can enjoy them. (An artist)
- To create magnificent buildings for social gatherings so that
people can celebrate in maximum comfort. (An architect).
- To support others in their work so that the team gets the best
result. (A manager)

There are three important properties your mission statement

must possess:

Unique: It must be yours and not belong to anybody else.

Stimulating: It must stir you into action.
Motivating: It must personally inspire you.

If this is your first time with a mission statement, don't agonize

about your mission statement. Just get something down. If it
doesnt feel right, change it until it does or come back to it later.
It's useful to review your Mission Statement every three months,
and make those small adjustments that may occur as you grow.

875
MY VALUES

Why set Values?

It is important to set long-term goals within the context of your

values. If the goals you set are out of alignment from these
values, it will make those goals extremely difficult to achieve. For
instance, if you value health, but you set a goal to achieve the top
salesperson's award and do nothing but work all year on that
goal, with no exercise, eating poor foods and getting little sleep,
you might end up in hospital instead of receiving that award!

So list the values that determine the standards that you set. For
example: love, health, truth, happiness, creativity, achievement,
knowledge, passion, freedom and contribution.

Check with your mission statement and note how these values
can help as rudders, steering you on the shortest course to your
missionthe beacon that illuminates your way.

Clarifying Values

Coachee instructions:
For each of the values listed on the left, indicate its level of
importance by placing a checkmark in one of the columns to the
right. Dont think too long about each one because your first
reactions are often the most accurate. When youve completed
the survey, identify the five values that are most important to
you and write a short definition of what that value means in your
life.

Action values:
Possible levels of importance:
Unimportant, not very important, Important, Critical

875
I would like to . . .
Create ideas Take responsibility
Make things Experience variety
Fix things Improve society
Help people Laugh often
Design systems Take risks
Perform physical tasks Be in nature
Organize things Manage people
Create beauty Work in teams
Explore ideas Other:
Follow directions

Result values:
Possible levels of importance:
Unimportant, not very important, Important, Critical

I would like to have. . .

Achievement Security
Beauty around me Structure/order
Knowledge Stability
Pleasure Wisdom
Power Family harmony
Recognition Friendship
Wealth Self-respect
Adventure Inner harmony
Comfort Integrity
Independence Equality
Leisure time Love
Possessions Other:
Simplicity

Personal quality values:

Possible levels of importance:
Unimportant, not very important, Important, Critical

875
I want to be . . .
Generous Happy
Fulfilled Efficient
Healthy Open-minded
Moral Competent
Physically attractive Logical
Spiritual Sensitive
Ambitious Creative
Caring Fair
Cooperative Environmentally aware
Disciplined Honest
Positive Other:
Needed

My Top Five Values - What this value means to me

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Source: Christine Bennett, WorkVantage Inc.

MY ROLES

Why base your Goals on your Roles?

In life, you have different roles depending on what you are doing and to
whom you are relating. For example, when you are talking with your
parents your role is son or daughter, but when you are talking to your
children your role is mother or father. At work you may at various times
be a manager, a subordinate, a co-worker, a friend, a confidante, etc. At
other times you may be a tennis player, runner, and so on.

1232
Identifying your roles and developing a vision for each of them makes it
easy to determine the long-term goals that will make your vision real.

You may find it useful to categorize your roles into personal

development, career, family and social areas. Within personal
development you can later categorize your goals around the first three
items of the Check-in (physical, mental and confidence)

There's an old story about the young woodcutter who wanted to be the
best. When he thought he was being beaten by an old hand, the young
man decided to miss his breaks and just keep chopping. At the end of the
day, however, the old man still had more wood. You see, he stopped for
breaks during the day and spent some of that time in keeping his axe
sharpened.

Having well-tuned personal development goals is like having a sharp axe.

Keep your axe sharp by keeping the physical, mental and confidence
personal role as positive as you can. It will enhance the achievement and
fulfillment of all your other roles.

MY VISION:

Creating your Vision for Each Role

A vision describes exactly what it will look like when you have fulfilled
your role. For example, for the role of team leader, your vision could
state:
The team achieves results which are 10% above budget, the team
members support each other and doing their best as individuals, and
coachee queries are minimal.

For a role as father, your vision could state:

I spend one day each weekend with the children and organize my time to
attend school functions as appropriate. I enjoy being involved in their
hobbies and interests and love my children very much.

1233
METHODOLOGIES

There are many approaches to strategic planning but typically a three-

step process may be used:

Situation - evaluate the current situation and how it came

about.
Target - define goals and/or objectives (sometimes called ideal
state)
Path - map a possible route to the goals/objectives

One alternative approach is called Draw-See-Think

Draw - what is the ideal image or the desired end state?
See - what is today's situation? What is the gap from ideal and
why?
Think - what specific actions must be taken to close the gap
between today's situation and the ideal state?
Plan - what resources are required to execute the activities?

An alternative to the Draw-See-Think approach is called See-Think-Draw

See - what is today's situation?

Think - define goals/objectives
Draw - map a route to achieving the goals/objectives

In other terms strategic planning can be as follows:

Vision - Define the vision and set a mission statement with

hierarchy of goals and objectives
SWOT - Analysis conducted according to the desired goals
Formulate - Formulate actions and processes to be taken to
attain these goals
Implement - Implementation of the agreed upon processes
Control - Monitor and get feedback from implemented
processes to fully control the operation

SITUATIONAL ANALYSIS

1234
When developing strategies, analysis of the organization and its
environment as it is at the moment and how it may develop in the future,
is important. The analysis has to be executed at an internal level as well
as an external level to identify all opportunities and threats of the
external environment as well as the strengths and weaknesses of the
organizations.

There are several factors to assess in the external situation analysis:

1. Markets (customers)
2. Competition
3. Technology
4. Supplier markets
5. Labor markets
6. The economy
7. The regulatory environment

It is rare to find all seven of these factors having critical importance. It is

also uncommon to find that the first two - markets and competition - are
not of critical importance. (Bradford "External Situation - What to
Consider")

Analysis of the external environment normally focuses on the customer.

Management should be visionary in formulating customer strategy, and
should do so by thinking about market environment shifts, how these
could impact customer sets, and whether those customer sets are the
ones the company wishes to serve.

Analysis of the competitive environment is also performed, many times

based on the framework suggested by Michael Porter.

1235
GOALS, OBJECTIVES AND TARGETS

Strategic planning is a very important business activity. It is also

important in the public sector areas such as education. It is practiced
widely informally and formally. Strategic planning and decision
processes should end with objectives and a roadmap of ways to achieve
those objectives.

The following terms have been used in strategic planning: desired end
states, plans, policies, goals, objectives, strategies, tactics and actions.
Definitions vary, overlap and fail to achieve clarity. The most common of
these concepts are specific, time bound statements of intended future
results and general and continuing statements of intended future results,
which most models refer to as either goals or objectives (sometimes
interchangeably).
One model of organizing objectives uses hierarchies. The items listed
above may be organized in a hierarchy of means and ends and
numbered as follows: Top Rank Objective (TRO), Second Rank
Objective, Third Rank Objective, etc. From any rank, the objective in a
lower rank answers to the question "How?" and the objective in a higher
rank answers to the question "Why?" The exception is the Top Rank
Objective (TRO): there is no answer to the "Why?" question. That is how
the TRO is defined.

People typically have several goals at the same time. "Goal congruency"
refers to how well the goals combine with each other. Does goal A appear
compatible with goal B? Do they fit together to form a unified strategy?
"Goal hierarchy" consists of the nesting of one or more goals within
other goal(s).

One approach recommends having short-term goals, medium-term goals,

and long-term goals. In this model, one can expect to attain short-term
goals fairly easily: they stand just slightly above one's reach. At the other
extreme, long-term goals appear very difficult, almost impossible to
attain. Strategic management jargon sometimes refers to "Big Hairy
Audacious Goals" (BHAGs) in this context. Using one goal as a stepping-
stone to the next involves goal sequencing. A person or group starts by
attaining the easy short-term goals, then steps up to the medium-term,
1236
then to the long-term goals. Goal sequencing can create a "goal stairway".
In an organizational setting, the organization may co-ordinate goals so
that they do not conflict with each other. The goals of one part of the
organization should mesh compatibly with those of other parts of the
organization.

Source: Wikipedia The free Encyclopedia

Mission Values Roles Vision intro Source: Achieve Your GOALS -
The Complete Goal Management System - INFORMATION AND
EDUCATION SERVICES
www.thepdi.com - www.thepdi.com/donaldcarty
Copyright 2005 Personal Development Institute Atlanta, Georgia
30518, USA

1237
Is It A Vision Or A Mission? A Goal Or An Objective?

by Alf Nucifora

I've seen and read marketing plans by the score and am often surprised
by the confusion and misunderstanding that surrounds planning
terminology. Today's primer lays out a precise and understandable
explanation of the difference between the terms. Consider it "Strategic
Plan Terminology 101." It's taken from an excellent document that
crossed my desk, unfortunately without an author's name attached.
Kudos to the anonymous semanticist.

Vision: A picture of the "preferred future;" a statement that describes

how the future will look if the organization achieves its ultimate aims,
e.g. "The widgets of choice for a value-focused world."

Mission: A statement of the overall purpose of an organization. It

describes what you do, for whom you do it and the benefit, e.g. "To
provide consumers with high-quality, price-competitive widgets to meet
their personal, business and recreational needs."

Goals: Broad, long-term aims that define accomplishment of the mission,

e.g. "Grow profitability. Maximize net income by increasing revenues and
controlling costs."

Objectives: Specific, quantifiable, realistic targets that measure the

accomplishment of a goal over a specified period of time, e.g. "Increase
revenues by x% in 2004. Limit increases in overhead costs to y%.
Achieve a z% reduction in management staff through increased
automation."

Strategies: Broad activities required to achieve an objective, control a

critical success factor, or overcome a barrier, e.g. "Establish a
partnership with a foreign manufacturer to revamp the Northeast plant.
Implement a program to widely promote our success as a quality
producer."

1238
Tactics: Specific steps to be taken, by whom by when, and at what cost,
to implement a strategy, e.g. "Initiate discussions with PR firm on quality
promotion. Week of 8/16/04." This is where the detailed
implementation tactics reside and is the portion of the plan that provides
an executional roadmap combined with goalposts for performance
measurement.

Why it Matters

Simply stated, you can't plan accurately if you don't understand the
territory, its pathways and boundaries. That's ultimately why so many
plans are not worth much more than the paper they're written on.

Precise planning terminology forces focus in the planning process,

minimizing confusion as to planning direction. All parties are on the
same page, so to speak. It also necessitates thinking beyond today's
tactical need, a common weakness in many marketing planning
protocols. To that point, it seems that the most commonly committed
mistake is the confusion between "strategy" and "tactics." As the above
definition reveals, they are not inter-changeable. The mistake often
arises out of an imbalance between understanding the future and the
tactical process of getting there. There is also the issue of insufficient
accountability in the form of metrics and follow-up. The planning
process demands measurement of performance. Without that
measurement, accountability is denied, responsibility is skirted and
"learning from the experience" is lost.

All too often in the marketing process, failure arises from a lack of
planning and an unwillingness to do the preparatory homework. It's too
easy to justify the decision based on gut instinct and "been there, done
that" experience. For a small company, resource constrained in its
marketing support, that behavior is understandable, sometimes
inevitable. But it's a bad habit. For most, the advice is unequivocal. Every
major marketing initiative demands a plan; every plan needs a process.

1239
15 Questions to Discover Your Life Purpose
The following are a list of questions that can assist you in discovering
your purpose. They are meant as a guide to help you get into a frame of
mind that will be conducive to defining your personal mission.
Simple Instructions:
Take out a few sheets of loose paper and a pen.
Find a place where you will not be interrupted. Turn off your cell
phone.
Write the answers to each question down. Write the first thing that
pops into your head. Write without editing. Use point form. Its
important to write out your answers rather than just thinking about
them.
Write quickly. Give yourself less than 60 seconds a question.
Preferably less than 30 seconds.
Be honest. Nobody will read it. Its important to write without
editing.
Enjoy the moment and smile as you write.

15 Questions:
1. What makes you smile?
(Activities, people, events, hobbies, projects, etc.)
2. What are your favorite things to do in the past? What about now?
3. What activities make you lose track of time?
4. What makes you feel great about yourself?
5. Who inspires you most? (Anyone you know or do not know. Family,
friends, authors, artists, leaders, etc.) Which qualities inspire you, in
each person?
6. What are you naturally good at? (Skills, abilities, gifts etc.)
7. What do people typically ask you for help in?

1240
8. If you had to teach something, what would you teach?
9. What would you regret not fully doing, being or having in your life?
10. You are now 90 years old, sitting on a rocking chair outside your
porch; you can feel the spring breeze gently brushing against your
face. You are blissful and happy, and are pleased with the wonderful
life youve been blessed with. Looking back at your life and all that
youve achieved and acquired, all the relationships youve developed;
what matters to you most? List them out.
11. What are your deepest values?
Please select 3-5, and put in order most important to you:
Achievement Friendship Performance
Adventure Giving I service Personal growth
Beauty Health Play
Being the best Honesty Productivity
Challenge Independence Primary
Comfort Inner peace Relationship
Courage Integrity Reliability
Creativity Intelligence Respect
Curiosity Intimacy Security
Education Joy Spirituality
Empowerment Leadership Success
Environment Learning Time freedom
Family Love Variety
Financial freedom Motivation
Fitness Passion

12. What were some challenges, difficulties and hardships youve

overcome or are in the process of overcoming? How did you do it?

1241
13. What causes do you strongly believe in? Connect with?
14. If you could get a message across to a large group of people. Who
would those people be? What would your message be?
15. Given your talents, passions and values. How could you use these
resources to serve, to help, to contribute? ( to people, beings, causes,
organization, environment, planet, etc.)

Your Personal Mission Statement

Writing or reviewing a mission statement changes you because it forces
you to think through your priorities deeply, carefully, and to align your
behaviour with your beliefs
Stephen Covey, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
A personal mission consists of 3 parts:
What do I want to do?
Who do I want to help?
What is the result? What value will I create?

Steps to Creating Your Personal Mission Statement:

1. Do the exercise with the 15 questions above as quickly as you can.
2. List out actions words you connect with.
a. Example: educate, accomplish, empower, encourage, improve, help,
give, guide, inspire, integrate, master, motivate, nurture, organize,
produce, promote, travel, spread, share, satisfy, understand, teach, write,
etc.
3. Based on your answers to the 15 questions. List everything and
everyone that you believe you can help.
a. Example: People, creatures, organizations, causes, groups,
environment, etc.

1242
4. Identify your end goal. How will the who from your above answer
benefit from what you do?
5. Combine steps 2-4 into a sentence, or 2-3 sentences.

About the Author:

Tina Su is a mom, a wife, a lover of Apple products and a
CHO (Chief Happiness Officer) for our motivational
community: Think Simple Now. She is obsessed with
encouraging and empowering people to lead conscious
and happy lives.

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4.23 ACTION PLANNING
Action planning is a process which will help you to focus your ideas
and to decide what steps you need to take to achieve particular goals
that you may have. It is a statement of what you want to achieve
over a given period of time. Preparing an action plan is a good
way to help you to reach your objectives in life: don't worry
about the future, start planning for it!It involves:
Identifying your objectives
Setting objectives which are achievable & measurable.
Ptiotiding your tasks effectively.
Identifying the steps needed to achieve your goals.
Using lists.
Being able to work effectively under pressure.
Completing work to a deadline.
Having a contingency plan

Writing down your goals turns them into a plan, not a dream.
An effective action plan should give you a concrete timetable and set of
clearly defined steps to help you to reach your objective, rather than
aimlessly wondering what to do next. It helps you to focus your ideas
and provides you with an answer to the question What do I do to
achieve my objective?.

Its OK to have several objectives, but you will need to make a separate
action plan for each, otherwise things get confused.
Although here we shall be applying the techniques to careers, it can be
used effectively to help you to reach your goals in many other aspects of
your life.

1244
The following are all valid goals for an action plan:

To get more involved in a student society to get to know more people.

Deciding what skills I need to improve and deciding how I will
improve them.

A study of 327 job seekers.by Prof. Daniel Turban, University of Missouri

College of Business found that writing a plan at the start of your job
search, has a big impact on success: make a plan and continuously assess
your progress.
"Thinking about a plan, acting on a plan and reflecting upon that a plan
were important early in the job search while having positive emotions
were important later in the job search"
You also have to expect rejections and develop a coping strategy in
advance. This should help maintain positive emotions during the process
to improve your chances of getting a job. Positive emotions may help job
seekers behave more confidently and cope better with stress, thereby
responding more skillfully in interviews than job seekers with less
positive emotions
People dont have strategies, they dont assess their plans and they dont
think about their strategies and reflect on whether its working or how to
make them work better. They just dont do it."
When careers action planning there are likely to be three main areas for
action plans. These are:

Choosing the career you wish to enter.

Working out a strategy to help you enter this career e.g. application
and interviews.
Developing skills that you need to acquire to allow you to enter the
career of your choice and to be successful in it.

1245
ACTION PLANNING MODEL

There are many different models of action planning, but a good starting
point is shown here. Action planning is a cyclical process, and once you
have been through one cycle, you can start again at the beginning. Of
course, in real life its not quite as simple as this. The process is more
organic and stages will overlap, or you may change your goals as you
progress, and you must be prepared to revise your plan as circumstances
dictate.

The stages are as follows:

WHERE AM I NOW? This is where you review your

achievements and progress, and undertake self-assessment.

WHERE DO I WANT TO BE? This is where you decide your goals.

HOW DO I GET THERE? This is where you define the strategy

you will use to achieve your goals, and to break down your goal
into the smaller discreet steps you will need to take to achieve
your target.
TAKING ACTION. This is the nitty gritty where you implement
your plan!

WHERE AM I NOW?

1246
Working together to develop a plan builds stronger relationships and a
deeper shared understanding of what needs to be done, so if unexpected
things happen individuals can make good decisions.

The best return occurs when just one percent of the time taken to carry
out a task is spent on planning. Too much planning can be
procrastination: delaying actually getting down to taking action.
"In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but
planning is indispensable" President Eisenhower (overlord of D-Day
landings)

The cycle begins again with a redefinition of your goals........

The main steps in preparing an action plan are as follows:

Have a clear objective. (Where do I want to be?). To be motivating a

goal needs to be challenging enough to stimulate us, but not too
difficult enough to be demoralising. It should be just outside your
comfort zone: stretching but not highly stressful. Be precise about
what you want to achieve,
List the benefits you would gain by achieving your goal.
Start with what you will do NOW. There is no point in having an
action plan that will start in six months time.
Define clearly the steps you will take. ("How do I get there?) Think
of all the possible things you could do to take you closer to achieving
your goal, no matter how small. Break down any large steps into
smaller components, so it doesnt seem so difficult to achieve. What is
the biggest obstacle? What could go wrong?

Identify the end point for each step and give yourself a small reward
for achieving it! This could be sweets, clothes, a gadget, book or CD or
meal out with friends.
Arrange the steps in a logical, chronological order and put a date by
which you will start each step. Put these dates into your diary or onto
a calendar. Try to set yourself weekly goals: what research you will
do into jobs, what skills you will concentrate on learning etc. Its also
a good idea to get into the habit of planning a timetable each evening
listing your tasks for the next day or two.

1247
 You need to consider if your plans are attainable and what would
happen if you failed to achieve your goals. Try to map out several
paths to your goal, then if one becomes blocked another is available:
build flexibility into your planning. People tend to strongly
underestimate how long a project will take, especially if working in a
group because they tend to visualise everything going to plan with no
problems. Think about the type of problems you might encounter at
each step. What are the barriers in the way of achieving your goal?
What you would do to overcome these problems? Concentrate 10%

A study on 1979 Harvard MBA students asked them, "Have you set clear,
written goals for your future and made plans to accomplish them?"

Only 3% of the graduates had written goals and plans; 13% had non-
written goals and 84% had no specific goals at all.
Ten years later, they were interviewed again. The 13% of the class who
had goals were earning, on average, twice as much as the 84% who had
no goals. And the 3% who had clear, written goals were earning, on
average, ten times as much as the other 97% put together.

Action generates the impetus for further action: if you want something
done quickly, give it to a busy person.
The best time to do something is usually NOW!

Life satisfaction is greatest for those involved in short term goals which
are enjoyable, not too difficult; and done in cooperation with others.
Focus on one objective at a time and always have the next goal in mind.
To accomplish more difficult tasks, break them down into components.
The most satisfaction comes from pursuing an objective, not simply from
achieving it.
Ari Kiev

It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that

matters, in the end.
Ursula K. Le Guin

Unless you have a definite, precise, clearly set goals, you are not going to
realize the maximum potential that lies within you.
Zig Ziglar
1248

Well begun is half done.

Mary Poppins!
 on the problem and 90% on the solution. Try to turn every problem
A study on 1979 Harvard MBA students asked them, "Have you set clear,
written goals for your future and made plans to accomplish them?"

Only 3% of the graduates had written goals and plans; 13% had non-
written goals and 84% had no specific goals at all.
Ten years later, they were interviewed again. The 13% of the class who
had goals were earning, on average, twice as much as the 84% who had
no goals. And the 3% who had clear, written goals were earning, on
average, ten times as much as the other 97% put together.

Action generates the impetus for further action: if you want something
done quickly, give it to a busy person.
The best time to do something is usually NOW!

Life satisfaction is greatest for those involved in short term goals which
are enjoyable, not too difficult; and done in cooperation with others.
Focus on one objective at a time and always have the next goal in mind.
To accomplish more difficult tasks, break them down into components.
The most satisfaction comes from pursuing an objective, not simply from
achieving it.
Ari Kiev

It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that

matters, in the end.
Ursula K. Le Guin

Unless you have a definite, precise, clearly set goals, you are not going to
realize the maximum potential that lies within you.
Zig Ziglar

Well begun is half done.

Mary Poppins!

into a challenge and every challenge into an opportunity.

Review your progress. Keep a diary or blog of your daily activities
and record your progress as things happen: this keeps your plan as
1251
A study on 1979 Harvard MBA students asked them, "Have you set clear,
written goals for your future and made plans to accomplish them?"

Only 3% of the graduates had written goals and plans; 13% had non-
written goals and 84% had no specific goals at all.
Ten years later, they were interviewed again. The 13% of the class who
had goals were earning, on average, twice as much as the 84% who had
no goals. And the 3% who had clear, written goals were earning, on
average, ten times as much as the other 97% put together.

Action generates the impetus for further action: if you want something
done quickly, give it to a busy person.
The best time to do something is usually NOW!

Life satisfaction is greatest for those involved in short term goals which
are enjoyable, not too difficult; and done in cooperation with others.
Focus on one objective at a time and always have the next goal in mind.
To accomplish more difficult tasks, break them down into components.
The most satisfaction comes from pursuing an objective, not simply from
achieving it.
Ari Kiev

It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that

matters, in the end.
Ursula K. Le Guin

Unless you have a definite, precise, clearly set goals, you are not going to
realize the maximum potential that lies within you.
Zig Ziglar

Well begun is half done.

Mary Poppins!

concrete as possible. A good time to start your review is about two

weeks after you have begun. Review how far you have got towards
your objective, identify any mistakes you made and what you can
learn from them, look at any new ideas or opportunities that may
have presented themselves and then revise your plan to incorporate
these.

1252
had goals were earning, on average, twice as much as the 84% who had
no goals. And the 3% who had clear, written goals were earning, on
average, ten times as much as the other 97% put together.

Action generates the impetus for further action: if you want something
done quickly, give it to a busy person.
The best time to do something is usually NOW!

Life satisfaction is greatest for those involved in short term goals which
are enjoyable, not too difficult; and done in cooperation with others.
Focus on one objective at a time and always have the next goal in mind.
To accomplish more difficult tasks, break them down into components.
The most satisfaction comes from pursuing an objective, not simply from
achieving it.
Ari Kiev

It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that

matters, in the end.
Ursula K. Le Guin

Unless you have a definite, precise, clearly set goals, you are not going to
realize the maximum potential that lies within you.
Zig Ziglar

Well begun is half done.

Mary Poppins!

Mix with positive people who will encourage you to keep going! Tell
your friends or relatives about your goals. They will provide support
when going gets tough and will also give you an incentive to keep
going as you'll feel embarrassed if you have to tell them you've given
up!

When the going gets tough, the tough get going!

If you take a stand that is visible to others, a drive arises to maintain that
stand in order to look consistent. Public commitment makes people
stubborn:

1253
A hardened smoker desperately wanted to stop smoking. She made a list
of all the people who she really wanted to respect her, then got some
blank cards and wrote on the back of each card, I promise you that I
will never smoke another cigarette and signed it. She gave or sent the
cards to her family, friends and boyfriend. Stopping was the hardest
thing she had ever done, but every time she thought about having a
cigarette, she pictured how all the people on her list would think of her if
she broke her promise. She never smoked again.

If you write your commitments on paper you tend to live up to what you
have written down as written commitments require more effort to make
than verbal ones and there is also a reminder for you. The process of
writing things down also seems to embed the commitment in your brain:

"One final tip before you get started: set a goal and write it down.
Whatever the goal, the important thing is that you set it, so you've got
something for which to aim- and that you write it down. There is
something magical about writing things down. So set a goal and write it
down.

Supportive text messages can double the chance of someone successfully

quitting smoking, according to a study published in The Lancet Over 10%
of smokers who received encouraging texts such as "you can do it" had
quit after six months, but only 4.9% who did not have the same support
gave up. Dr Caroline Free, who led the trial said: "Text messages are a
very convenient way for smokers to receive support to quit. People
described txt2stop as being like having a friend encouraging them or an
angel on their shoulder." Similar text messages could be used to help
people modify other behaviour.
When you reach that goal, set another and write that down. You'll be off
and running." Amway Corporation
(From the excellent Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by
Professor Robert Cialdini )

1254
Visualisation techniques can help prepare neural pathways in the brain
for when the task is performed for real. However research has found that
visualising just the outcome decreases chance of success so you need to
imagine the steps along the way as well. Oettingen and Mayer found that
students who reported fantasizing about success made fewer job
applications, received less job offers and had smaller salaries. So you
need to realistically assess problems that could be encountered as well.

EXAMPLE COMPLETED ACTION PLAN

MY OBJECTIVE IS: To choose my future career!
Date I My reward
TO ACHIEVE THIS I NEED TO:
expect to for
List the steps you need to take. Be detailed and
complete completing
specific (not I'll contact some employers, but
this step this step
Find email addresses of 5 local employers
by will be
who have marketing departments & contact
them"
I will tell my plan to: my three best friends, my
parents!
I will start my action plan on (date): 3rd March
Step 1. I will use the Prospects Planner
Some nice
computer guidance system to help me to 4th March
chocolate!
identify jobs of interest
Step 2. I will use the "What can I do with my
More nice
degree in ..." pages to find out what jobs 6th March
chocolate!
graduates from my subject can enter
Time in
Step 3. I will pick up booklets from the Career
gym to
Service on some of the careers suggested and 9th March
burn off
browse through these.
chocolate!
Step 4. I will use the Careers Network to
Over Book by
arrange a day shadowing the work of a
Easter favourite
graduate in the Career that seems to be most of
vacation author
interest.
Step 5. I will see my careers adviser to discuss By 10th Meal out

1255
the ideas I have got from the above and to May with
narrow these down. friends
What problems am I likely to face? What will I do to overcome these?
Fear of life after university. Have procrastinated too long and now
realise that I must take action or miss opportunities.
Will I be able to arrange a suitable work-shadow? If nobody suitable in
the Careers Network, may have to contact companies directly for help.

copyright of the University of Kent Careers Advisory Service

1256
Source: http://healthskills.wordpress.com/

1257
4.24 THE POWER OF GOOD HABITS
There are many documented reasons why people fail to achieve their full
potential.

As noted earlier, the top three percent of the population are disciplined
goal setters. What is interesting is that the next 27% only need to put in
a small effort to move into the top group.

The secret behind the effort is the development of habits and strategies,
which support the achievement of clear goals.

Benjamin Franklin discovered this the hard way. He was receiving

constant criticism about his negative communication. He listed all the
elements in his life that he had the courage to say did not support him or
his relationships. He worked on one of these elements each month. He
had set goals to develop new successful habits.

Look at the list on the next page. What habits do you need to change in
order to achieve the success you deserve? These habits and strategies
are the basis of success in life. People who make a conscious effort to
include these in their lives get positive results.

What are you going to do about the habits and strategies you are not yet
able to tick? the Complete Goal Management System suggests that, if
there are some unchecked questions, then they need to be included in
your Overall Strategies. If you have specific strategies that are uniquely
necessary for a specialist role, you will need to add them later. For
example, an athlete may have to attend the gym every day for an hour, a
doctor may have to read a journal article every day.

Keep referring to these questions as a monthly check, and aim to have all
strategies a part of your goals plan. Remember ... it takes courage to
accept the truth. Successful people form habits to do the things that less
successful people don't like to do.

1258
Look through the following questions about useful habits and overall
strategies and tick those that apply to you right now.
I have a clear sense of purpose or direction for my life.
I am able to stay focused and concentrate my efforts onto one definite
aim.
I am usually able to make decisions and work consistently on them.
I am willing to take a chance on a positive outcomeeven if it is
risky.
I am willing to do whatever it takes, rather than look for something
for nothing.
I control my negative thoughts.
I practice habits, which contribute, to my good health including a
nutritious moderate diet, regular exercise and meditation or yoga-
type relaxation.
I tackle tasks immediately rather than putting them off and
procrastinating.
I persist in the face of difficulty. When the going gets tough, many
people give up.
I am willing to aim high. Many people put up with average goals and
mediocre performance.
I seek out and surround myself with people who encourage and
coach me to great success. Too many people listen to those who say,
you can't.
I am willing to learn, read and acquire the knowledge and skills to
become a generalist, able to adapt to and succeed in almost any
environment. Contrary to popular beliefs, people who become too
specialized become white elephants who cannot keep up with the
speed of changes in society.
I am enthusiastic, committed and motivated.
I am pro-active I make things happen in my life. Victims wait for
things to happen to them.
I have clear roles in life and act in balance across work, home, self
and community.

There is a critical incubation period of about 30 days, when you first

apply new ideas. With the passage of time, the action becomes habitual.
A successful coach knows the importance of developing positive habits.
1259
Consider this:

Who Am I?
You may know me :
I'm your constant companion
I'm your greatest helper; I'm your heaviest burden
I will push you onward or drag you down to failure
I am at your command
Half the tasks you do might as well be turned over to me. I'm able to do
them quickly and I'm able to do them the same every time if that's what
you want.
I'm easily managed, all you've got to do is be firm with me.
Show me exactly how you want it done, after a few lessons I'll do it
automatically.
I am the servant of all great men and women, of course, servant of the
failures as well.
I've made all the great men who have ever been great. And, I've made all
the failures, too.
But I work with all the precision of a marvellous computer, with the
intelligence of a human being.
You may run me for profit or you may run me to ruin, it makes no
difference to me.
Take me. Be firm with me and I'll put the world at your feet.
Be easy with me and I will destroy you.
Who am I?
I am habit!

Success is a matter of understanding and religiously practicing specific,

simple habits that always lead to success. *Robert J. Ringer*

1260
First forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you
whether youre inspired or notHabit is persistence in practice.
*Octavia Butler*
Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get
out of. *Proverb*
The more severe the pain or illness, the more sever will be the
necessary changes. These may involve breaking bad habits, or acquiring
some new and better ones. *Peter McWilliams*
The thought manifests as the word The word manifests as the deed The
deed develops into habit And habit hardens into character. So watch the
thought and its ways with care, And let it spring from love born out of
concern for all beings. *The Buddha*
Winning is not a sometime thing its an all time thing. You dont win
once in a while, you dont do things right once in a while, you do them
right all the time. Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing. *Vince
Lombardi*
Habit is either the best of servants or the worst of masters. *Nathaniel
Emmons*
Source: Achieve Your GOALS - The Complete Goal Management System -
INFORMATION AND EDUCATION SERVICES
www.thepdi.com - www.thepdi.com/donaldcarty
Copyright 2005 Personal Development Institute Atlanta, Georgia
30518, USA

1261
4.25 THE ART OF DELEGATION
Educating your clients in mastering the art of delegation, is an invaluable
coaching skill.
Your ability to explain and coach your clients to implement the idea that
they don't have to do everything themselves will have a huge impact on
their business and personal life.
So let's examine the subject in more detail:
What tasks should be considered for delegation?
Powerful Tips for Mastering Delegation
More Important Steps of the Delegation Process

Overwhelm, having too much to do and not enough time, is often one of
the biggest issues coaching clients bring to the table in both personal and
work issues.
But the answer is not just about getting someone else to do things for
you.
The art of delegation is about managing the process elegantly and
smoothly.
Before we get onto the tips, Id like to share the three big mistakes I find
people make when they start to delegate.
Three Delegation Mistakes
1. Abdication: The first is delegation by abdication. That is, just tell a
subordinate, or whoever, to just get on with the job without giving
them proper instructions or a context for what they have to do and
by when. And then carpeting them when they dont get it right!
2. Too much information! Of course instructions need to be given but
the second mistake, I believe, is giving them too much instruction as
to exactly approach the task. That is insisting they do it your way
rather than the way that is going to work best for them. In this
context, you might find it useful to read how I use the Kolbe Index
in helping clients understand how best they and their staff operate.
And there are many other profiling tools that are useful in this
regard.
1262
3. No Acknowledgement: And finally, a huge mistake is not to
acknowledge the delegatee sufficiently when the project is
completed, or even give praise along the way.
Acknowledgment is so important to people and I find disappointment
and frustration at work is often because many executives and CEOs
fail to give their staff enough positive encouragement and feedback.
Read more about the motivating power of acknowledgement in my
recent Coach the Coach tip.
So there are my pet delegations mistakes. Now lets get positive and look
at how to educate your clients on the art of delegation; what they should
aim to delegate, the steps of delegation and some useful delegation tips.
What should be considered for delegation?
Tasks that consume your time but are not necessarily the best use of
your time
Things you are not particularly good at, or dont like doing and
someone else could do better. For instance if you are hopeless at
proof reading, get bored and cant trust yourself to get it right.
Is this the best use of my time? A good way to hone in on this is to keep a
diary of everything you do throughout the day and keep asking yourself
Is this the best use of my time? or Could somebody else be doing
this?. This is particularly important if you have challenges with time
management at work.
The aim is to delegate but keep control.

1263
10 Tips for Mastering the Art of delegation
1. Understanding: Make sure those you are delegating to have a clear
understanding of the task required, the outcome and by when it is to
be completed. Make them feel an important part of the project.
2. Specificity: Be specific about what guidelines must be followed
(company policy etc) and where can the 'delagatee' use their own
initiative and method to reach the outcome.
3. Resources: Give information on where to find resources available to
help them with the task. Advise what is available and what may be
needed.
4. Reporting: Initiate a time-line for them to report back to you on
progress.
5. Big Picture:Make sure the delegatee knows the place the task has in
the overall project and what the positive outcome of their completion
of the task is.
6. Let Go! Once you have delegated and set up a framework for
reporting, let them get on with it and get out of the way.
7. More let go: Where possible, avoid delegating methods (we all have
our own best way of doing things), rather concentrate on results.
8. Be Available: Be available and approachable for help if needed but
avoid being too intrusive so they feel you don't trust them.
9. Encourage them to think for themselves! Have a policy that before
they come to you for help, they have thought up some possible
solution/s themselves. Avoid poo pooing those solutions, however
untenable, rather acknowledge and add your opinion and expertise
to theirs.
10. Be realistic: Where relevant, ask the delegatee how long they think
they need to complete the job. Encourage them to be realistic and not
over-promise.

1264
And finally, make you delegatees accountable. Part of the art of
delegation and your personal time management at work and at home is
encouraging your staff/team/family to be more responsible and
accountable. Make them feel good about helping you and contributing to
the overall big picture.
Ask them what they think they could help you with?
More Steps of Delegation
Make a list of all possible activities or projects you might consider
delegating be it an ongoing delegation or a specific project. (Anything
from coffee making to event management for instance)
Dont censor yourself; you can always change your mind as you work
through the list (but please dont decide you really can still do it all
yourself).
Autonomy/authority of the person (do others need to be made aware
of this).
Organize feedback meetings for long or complex jobs.

Source: Weny Buckingham: http://www.all-about-becoming-a-life-

coach.com/art-of-delegation.html#ixzz1qnFm8uod

Managing The Risk of Delegation

1265
 Delegation can be one of the most crippling
tasks for a new manager. New managers
often cling to their workload as if it were
their first born child, or any child for that
matter. They protect and hide these
proverbial children as if protecting them
from the evils of the world. They fear that it
can never be done as good as they do it.
Therefore their misplaced pride leaves a
disengaged workforce on the sidelines.
Delegation doesnt have to be painful. In fact any seasoned manager will
praise this strategy as necessary. An avoidance of delegation is a rookie
mistake when managing. This blog post is one of two designed to help
you overcome that hurdle.
The new manager has probably heard it a million times. Delegation is
necessary. Those that do it reap rewards that help them get results and
probably help them end their day at a decent hour. The first step to
convince those struggling with delegation is to sell you the benefits of
this essential strategy.
Delegation is a tool that helps your team to grow. As a manager
one of your roles is undoubtedly to develop your staff.
Delegation helps you achieve that.
Delegation gives you the opportunity to discover a new and
perhaps more effective and efficient way of doing something.
Delegation optimizes the workday. YOU CANT DO IT ALL
YOURSELF!
Delegation is a clear demonstration of Trust. It is difficult to
build a relationship with your team without it.
Delegation builds team cohesion and expands everyones
understanding of their business.
Delegation saves time.
Hopefully, those reasons resonate for you if you havent already
aggressively started a delegation campaign. Thats the WIIFM (Whats In
It For Me). Usually managers, new and old understand they should be
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delegating but theres an obstacle that they cant get around. This
manager will make excuses like the following:
No one can do it better than me
I dont have time to train someone to do it
Ill just have to do it over myself
My team is already over tasked
I dont have anyone on my team who can handle this task
If any of those statements have crossed your lips, this post couldnt come
any sooner. Its time for you to release your fears. Fear will destroy your
ability as a manager. Your success is dependent on using the strategy of
delegation. In the next post well review a tool to help you start your
delegation strategy.
You realize the benefits and the need for
every manager to use a delegation
strategy. First steps can be scary. Perhaps
an absence of delegation has gotten you to
this point. Its difficult to adjust and change
when your experience is telling you
otherwise. One of the biggest obstacles to
trying something new is having a plan to
do it. Simply convincing you of the power
of delegation is hardly enough to make the
transition easy from the way you managed
in the past to this foreign style of management that you are not
accustomed. The Delegation Risk tool is designed to help you put your
strategy in perspective and protect those concerns you have that prevent
you from managing through delegation.
The Delegation Risk tool (DRT) is a way for you to assess the level of risk
in a decision to delegate a task. Using the tool will provide you with
perspective and peace of mind. Figure 1 is the Delegation Risk tool. The
tools should be applied separately for each of three categories.
Cognitive
Technical
Interpersonal

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 Combination
The Cognitive Category is for those tasks that challenge problem solving
skills. The Technical Category is for those tasks that challenge the ability
to conduct a task. The Interpersonal Category is for those tasks that
challenge the ability to work with other people in a team or group
setting. Finally, the Combination Category is for those tasks that are
complex and involve a combination of 2 or more skills of the other
categories. The delegate (the employee you are delegating to) must have
a competence appropriate for each category to minimize risk.

There are two scales in the DRT. The first scale is the competence level of
each of your employees. This is an individual assessment, not a group
assessment. The second scale is your assessment of the difficulty of the
task. These two measurements intersect to create 4 quadrants that help
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us to define the level or risk and growth potential (for the delegate) a
decision to delegate will have on your goals.
The first scale is the employees competence level. Each of your
employees will have a unique position on this scale. Its clear everyone
has unique talents and developmental needs. We all have both.
Competence is measured from low to high. Low competence is an
employee who has limited to no cognitive, technical or interpersonal
competence. High competence is an employee who has exceptional
cognitive, technical or interpersonal competence. Once you identify the
placement of the employee on this scale, it is time to analyze the task.
The second scale measures the difficulty in completing the task. Like the
first scale, every task is unique as well. When using this tool, you are not
measuring the risk of all your tasks against all your employees. Instead
you are measuring each task uniquely with each employee. The task
difficulty is measured from simple to complex. A simple task is one that
involves very little training and few steps. These tasks are usually linear.
That is the steps are sequential and involve little to no deviance from the
standard. A complex task may involve in depth training and multiple
steps. These tasks may be non-linear. That is there may be a need to
make decisions. Once you identify the placement of the task difficulty,
you can cross reference the two positions to determine the risk
quadrant.
The risk quadrant is not a warning to avoid delegating. It is a warning
that you have to put parameters into your strategy to ensure the
delegate is successful. There are four quadrants that classify the risk and
growth potential of a decision to delegate.
Quadrant 1 Low Risk / High Growth
Quadrant 2 High Risk / Low Growth
Quadrant 3 Low Risk / Low Growth
Quadrant 4 High Risk / High Growth
Quadrant 1 is for low to moderate competence delegates and the task is
simple. Growth is high because the assignment is manageable for them
yet is unique to their routine. It creates an opportunity for this employee
to grow towards the High Competence end of the scale. Quadrant one
also prepares this employee for more complex tasks in the future. The

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risk is low because these tasks are within the ability range of the
delegate.
Quadrant 2 is for low to moderate competence delegates and the task is
complex. Growth is low because the assignment will likely encourage
failure and discouragement. Delegates will rarely move from the low end
of the competence scale when assigned to this quadrant. The risk is high
because these tasks are outside of the ability range of the delegate.
Quadrant 3 is for high competence delegates and the task is simple.
Growth is low because the assignment is well below their abilities. The
task may even seem trivial and busy work to them. These tasks may de-
motivate your high competence delegates. The risk level is low because
the task falls well within or below their level of ability. There is very little
challenge in the task.
Quadrant 4 is for high competence delegates and the task is simple.
Growth is high because the task is challenging and stimulates the use of
complex skills. The delegate often learns and this typically has a
strengthening effect on their competence. The risk level is high. The task
is complex and if new to the delegate, they may still need guidance.
Complex tasks often come with high risk levels despite the competence
of the employee.
The Delegation Risk Tool is designed to help you assess risk and manage
your delegation strategy. No quadrant is a disqualification to delegate.
Each quadrant adds perspective and gives you an opportunity to adjust
your delegation strategy appropriately. The higher the risk means you
need to be involved closer to the assignment. Perhaps it means frequent
follow ups or partnership with someone else who has completed the task
in the past. As you consider this tool, it should make delegation more
palatable. Consider the growth potential (low or high) your return on
investment. As your employees grow, they become more valuable to you
and your organization. There is a lot to be gained from delegation.
Unfortunately, there is a lot you are losing from not delegating.
Source:
Terrence Wing - http://liquidlearn.com/

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1271
4.26 USING AFFIRMATIONS AND
POSITIVE THINKING
If you think you can or think you can't? you are probably right
(Henry Ford)
An affirmation is a thought of a desired condition or thing. Constant
repetition of an affirmation leads to its acceptance by the mind.
Since our environment reflects our thinking, we can influence our
realities by changing our beliefs. Our dominant thoughts and feelings
become our experiences. Our lives become what we affirm.
To apply an affirmation during the day, use the following guidelines:
Always affirm in the present tense. The desired condition is always
happening NOW. Rather than say I am getting fit, which places the
event in the future where it may never eventuate, put it in the
present and say I am fit.
Always affirm in the positive and not in the negative. Instead of
saying I won't break my diet, say I prefer nutritious foods.
Write the affirmation down and paste it on your mirror, telephone,
car dashboard or anywhere you will see it during the day.
Write the affirmation by hand at least 10 times during the day. If the
critical voice inside raises any objections, dispute it strongly and
provide evidence. If you affirm I am confident and capable and
your critic says, You're weak and hopeless, remind yourself of a
past success and reaffirm your positive thought I did my best in the
last test and got top marks: I am confident and capable.
Read the affirmation as often as you can, out loud.
Sing or chant your affirmation out loud as much as possible
Record your own voice saying the affirmation on an audiotape and
play it while you are going to sleep.

Source: Achieve Your GOALS - The Complete Goal Management System -

INFORMATION AND EDUCATION SERVICES
www.thepdi.com - www.thepdi.com/donaldcarty

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 Copyright 2005 Personal Development Institute Atlanta, Georgia
30518, USA

The Power of Positive Affirmations

Many times people think of affirmations as cheering your clients on, sort
of like becoming their own personal cheerleader. In actuality, that is not
what positive affirmations are. Sure, it is OK to say great job and wow,
you really did well by picking a healthy choice at that party. However,
affirmations are more of just affirming the good things that your clients
do.
Affirm is defined as to declare positively or firmly, or another definition
is to maintain to be true.
Examples of affirming responses include:
I appreciate you taking the time to talk with me today.
You are clearly a very resourceful person.
You handled yourself really well in that situation.
That is a good/great suggestion.
If I were in your shoes, I do not know if I could have managed nearly
as well.
I have enjoyed talking with you today.
Thank you for sharing all of that information.
I am confident you can accomplish your goal, if you decide that is
what you want to do.
I know you can do this.
I know you can do this because you were able to ____________
(mention past success in life).
Using positive affirmations is a powerful tool that is used in motivational
interviewing.
Motivational interviewing is a counseling technique that is associated
with health behavior change. William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick,
authors of Motivational Interviewing: Preparing People for Change,
1273
describe four key components of motivational interviewing as OARS:
Open ended questions
Affirmations (positive)
Reflecting
Summarizing
Positive thinking to achieve success
Coach your clients to use self-talk to recognize negative or irrational
thoughts, stop the thought, and rewrite the thought in their mind in a
positive way. Negative thoughts can get in the way of your clients
accomplishing their goals. Thinking positively can affect their actions,
mood, and feelings about their goal of a positive change.
Thought-stopping is one technique that can help clients get rid of
unwanted or negative thoughts. Your clients may dwell or obsess on
thoughts that make them worry, feel sad, or feel bad about themselves.
When they practice thought-stopping, these unwanted thoughts occur
less often. Over time, the thoughts become easier to ignore or may not
occur at all.
Here's an example of how thought-stopping might work. Pretend that you
are on a diet. One night, you go to a birthday party and eat several slices
of pizza and a big piece of cake. All the way home, you are mad at
yourself for consuming so many calories. I don't know why I bother
trying to lose weight. I have no will power. I might as well forget about it.
You get home and continue to eat, even though you are not hungry. You
eat because you feel you fell off the planso, now everything is over. This
is not true!
When you start to think of yourself eating more or forgetting about the
healthy eating plan all together, you say stop out loud or quietly in your
mind. You get up and move around or find something else to do. Then you
think of something pleasant to take your mind off of that thought, such as
a trip you are planning to take or a movie you recently saw that made you
laugh.
According to Marianne Flagg, author of Positive Thinking Stopping
Unwanted Thoughts, thought-stopping includes three parts:

1276
 Watch: Notice your thoughts, which are sometimes called self-talk.
Some people do not pay much attention to what they tell themselves.
If they happen to notice that they have just told themselves they are
lazy or have no will power, they just accept that discouraging
thought as fact.
Check: Look at your thoughts, and ask if they are completely true.
Ask yourself if these thoughts are untrue or exaggerated. Maybe you
are ignoring something positive.
Correct: Replace the negative thoughts with positive, helpful
thoughts. This is the step where you can change the way you feel.
Check your thoughts.
According to Flagg, several kinds of irrational thoughts exist, including:
Focusing on the negative:
Example: I ruined my eating plan this week by having so much pizza
tonight.
Reality: Did you stick to your eating plan most of the week? If you
did, then you are not giving yourself credit for all the positive things
you did that week.
Should: People sometimes have set ideas about how they should act.
If you hear yourself saying that you or other people should, ought to,
or have to do something, then you are possibly setting yourself up to
feel bad.
Example: I should never have pizza or dessert.
Reality: If you really never want to have pizza or dessert again, that
is fine. However, many people find a way to work these foods into
their eating plan and stay at a healthy weight. They try to have a
flexible eating plan.
Overgeneralizing:
This is taking one example and saying it is true for everything. Look for
words such as never and always.
Example: I can never stick with an exercise plan.

1277
 Reality: Have you ever made a vow to exercise and stuck to it? If you
did it before, you can do it again. Even if you were not able to do it in
the past that does not mean you can not stick to a plan in the future.
All-or-nothing thinking:
This also is called black-or-white thinking.
Example: If I can not stay on my eating plan all the time, I will just
give up.
Reality: Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. One slipup does not
mean you can not get back to your plan the next day.
Have your clients correct their thoughts. After they check the truth of the
thought, the next step is to correct it and replace the unhelpful thought
with a more positive, helpful one.
Keeping a journal of thoughts is one of the best ways to practice
watching, checking, and correcting thoughts. It helps your clients become
more aware of their self-talk. An example of a thought diary follows. By
writing thoughts down every day, helpful thoughts will soon come
naturally.
Thought diary

Watch for a
Check for a Correct With a
Negative
Type of Thought Positive Thought
Thought

At least I did not eat a

corner piece of cake,
I should have which has even more
never had that calories. Having
Should
piece of cake for dessert every now
dessert. and then is OK, if it is
part of my eating
plan.

I ruined my Focusing on I wish I had not eaten

eating plan by negative so much pasta. But it
having so much is only one meal. I
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 pasta tonight. stuck to my eating
plan really well the
rest of the week.

I have had some

problems sticking
with an exercise plan
I can never stick
in the past, but that
with an exercise Overgeneralizing
does not mean I can
plan.
not do it in the future.
I have made other
changes in my life.

I am going to try to
set a realistic goal.
Maybe it is a smaller
goal than before, but I
still am working
toward a healthy
If I can not lose 8 weight. After all, even
pounds (lb) this losing -1 lb/week is
month, then I am All or nothing moving in the right
going to give up direction, and I still
this eating plan. have to create a 250-
to 500-calorie deficit
every single day; so, I
am doing something
right, even if I just lose
a small amount.

Remind your clients that what they think can affect their actions, mood,
and feelings. Thought-stopping will help change how they think, so that
they feel better. Changing thinking will take some time. They will need to
practice thought-stopping every day. After a while, they will have the
ability to stop those unwanted thoughts right away. Stress that they can
do it!

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References
Flagg M. Positive thinking: stopping unwanted thoughts. Available at:
http://www.pamf.org/health/healthinfo/?A=C&type=info&hwid=uf9938
ion=uf9939. Accessed October 3, 2009.
Miller WR, Rollnick S. Motivational Interviewing: Preparing People for
Change. New York, NY: The Guilford Press; 2002.
Contributed by Shawna Gornick-Ilagan, MS, RD, CWPC

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4.27 STAGES OF THE CHANGE CONTINUUM
Facilitating Behavior Change
Motivation is a key factor in successful behavior change This chapter
presents techniques that will be useful in assessing motivation and
helping others increase their intrinsic motivation to change their
behavior.
READINESS TO CHANGE
Behavior change is rarely a discrete, single event. During the past
decade, behavior change has come to be understood as a process of
identifiable stages through which people pass (Zimmerman et al., 2000).
The Stages of Change model describes five stages of readiness:
precontemplation, contemplation, prepar-ation, action, and maintenance
- and provides a framework for understanding behavior change
(DiClemente and Prochaska, 1998).

For most people behavior change occurs gradually over time, with the
person progressing from being uninterested, unaware, or unwilling to
make a change (precontemplation), to considering a change
(contemplation), to deciding and preparing to make a change
(preparation). This is followed by definitive action, and attempts to
maintain the new behavior over time (maintenance). People can
progress in both directions in the stages of change. Most people will
1281
"recycle" through the stages of change several times before the change
becomes fully established (Zimmerman et al., 2000).
The Stages of Change model is useful for identifying appropriate
interventions to foster positive behavior change (Table 6); by identifying
where a person is in the change process, interventions can be tailored to
the person's "readiness" to change (Zimmerman et al., 2000). Anything
that moves a person along the continuum towards making a positive
change should be viewed as a success. Once the person reaches the
contemplation stage, additional strategies can be employed to help the
person move along the stages of change.
It is important to evaluate a person's readiness to change for any
proposed intervention (Zimmerman et al., 2000). Interventions that are
not staged to the readiness of the individual will be less likely to succeed.
Also, interventions that try to move a person too quickly through the
stages of change are more likely to create resistance that will impede
behavior change.
For example, if trying to get a person to quit smoking, it is essential to
know where the person is in his or her readiness to stop. A person who
is not even thinking about quitting smoking (precontemplation) is
generally not ready to receive information about specific smoking
cessation aids. In this case, focusing the intervention on smoking
cessation aids sends the message that the health care provider is not
really listening. This may not only damage rapport but can also make the
person even more resistant to quitting smoking. A more stage-specific
intervention with this person would be to try to get the person to think
about quitting (contemplation). Once the person reaches the
contemplation stages, additional strategies can be employed to continue
to move the person through the stages of behavioral change.
Anything that moves a person along the continuum toward making a
positive change should be viewed as a success. Employing stage-specific
interventions will decrease provider frustration by lessening the
unrealistic expectation that change will occur with a single intervention.
CHARACTERISTICS AND STRATEGIES OF THE STAGES

STAGE CHARACTERISTICS STRATEGIES

1282
 The person is not even considering
changing. They may be "in denial" about Educate on risks
Precontemplation their health problem, or not consider it versus benefits and
(unaware) serious. They may have tried positive outcomes
unsuccessfully to change so many times related to change
that they have given up.

Identify barriers and

Contemplation The person is ambivalent about changing. misconceptions
(Aware, During this stage, the person weighs
benefits versus costs or barriers (e.g., Address concerns
concerned,
time, expense, bother, fear). Identify support
knowledgeable)
systems

Develop realistic
Preparation goals and timeline
The person is prepared to experiment for change
(Motivated to with small changes.
change) Provide positive
reinforcement

Action
The person takes definitive action to Provide positive
(Trying new change behavior. reinforcement
behaviour)

Maintenance and
Relapse Provide
Prevention The person strives to maintain the new
encouragement and
behavior over the long term.
(Sustaining new support
behaviour)

Source: Zimmerman et al., 2000; Tabor and Lopez, 2004

A question that can be put to individuals to help evaluate their readiness

to change can be as simple as: "Are you willing to take a medication to
treat your condition?" Readiness to change can also be evaluated using a
more quantitative scale: "How ready are you on a scale from 1 to 10 to
initiate this therapy (medication, diet, exercises) to treat your
condition?"
1283
Two major factors that have been found to affect a person's readiness to
change are "importance" and "self efficacy". Importance is determined by
what value a person places on making the change. Self efficacy is a
person's belief or confidence in their ability to succeed at making the
change. Depending on the health scenario, people may exhibit different
levels of importance and self efficacy (Rollnick et al., 1999).
A person who is overweight may be convinced of the importance of
losing weight but have a low level of confidence based on previous
failure to lose weight or keep weight off. A person who is newly
diagnosed with hypertension may be confident that they can take a pill
to lower blood pressure but are not convinced of the importance of this
action. A deficiency in either importance or self efficacy can lead to a
person's unwillingness to commit to change.
The Readiness-to-Change Ruler is used to assess a person's willingness
or readiness to change, determine where they are on the continuum
between "not prepared to change" and "already changing", and promote
identification and discussion of perceived barriers to change.
The Readiness-to-Change Ruler can be used as a quick assessment of a
person's present motivational state relative to changing a specific
behavior, and can serve as the basis for motivation-based interventions
to elicit behavior change, such as motivational interviewing.

Source: Copyright 2006 American Society on Aging and American

Society of Consultant Pharmacists Foundation; all rights reserved.

1284
Audiences along a Behavior Change Continuum: Possible
Communication Strategies

1285
4.28 CONGRUENCE
Be authentic (genuine), open and honest to a coachee. Help him in a
pleasant and straightforward way to address his problems. You are no
good to a coachee if you don't help him discover what the real problem is
and how he might solve it. Discovering the truth can be painful to the
coachee, but the way you assist him can make all the difference. Adjust
your approach to the type of coachee. Avoid creating a sense of being
exposed or having to get all defensive because you are too direct or too
assertive. The goal is to help the coachee, not to be assertive. Act like a
friend.

Nobody listens to me. I feel like I don't exist. At home, at the office,
whatever I say, it doesn't register. They think they know it all. Why don't
they listen? I have forty years of experience.
You're telling me people don't listen to you. During our discussions
you have taken the initiative and a tight control. It's been hard for
me to break into the conversation or to turn it into a dialogue. I can
imagine that some people dislike that and therefore ignore you. Do
you think it might be possible that this creates the impression
people aren't listening to you?
Well, uh... I don't know.
I have noticed you cross your arms a lot and that you are often
looking at the floor.
Mister Johnson....
No, just listen to me for once. Maybe it's me, but every time I try to
say something you interrupt me. How is that in other situations, for
instance when someone wants to explain something to you?

In the next example the coachee is an overaged hippie looking for work:

Okay, you didn't get the job. That can happen to the best of us. I know
this is not a job interview but when I look at you... the way you're
dressed, your unconventional hairdo, the odour around you - I wonder
what a potential employer thinks of it and if that's what he is looking for?

Has he gone crazy to say all that, the effing wanker!

1286
 I can take a lot and frankly, you can say what you like in here, but
with that kind of language it is quite possible your teacher doesn't
think too highly of you.

A blond visits the doctor and asks...

What strikes me is that every time we get to the heart of the matter,
you start telling a joke. The jokes make me laugh, but what I would
really like to do is to help you find out what the problem really is and
to help you solve it.

Source:

The Art of Counselling / De Kunst van het Counselen

Copyright Owner: Academy for Counselling and Coaching - The
Netherlands - Paul van Schaik

1287
4.29 AUTHENTICITY
Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to
choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice.
Ayn Rand, philosopher

The concept of authenticity has received a significant amount of

attention recently as people search for meaning and happiness,
particularly in their work lives. How one chooses to try to live more
authentically depends on their own perspective on authenticity. Like
many other popular concepts, different people have different views
about authenticity and many people feel very strongly about their own
views. Some people might assert that an individual is being authentic if
they are being completely honest and participating in the here-and-now,
eg, an honest conversation with a friend, completely focused on cleaning
out the garage, etc. There are others who assert that authenticity
involves many other features, including, eg, always being centered with
themselves and others, living in a completely integrated fashion with
their own values and principles, always feeling complete meaning or
sense of purpose in their lives, etc.

The concepts of "authenticity" and "meaning" can seem almost the same.
However, the major philosophical movement called existentialism has
studied authenticity for centuries and helps us understand more abut
what authenticity is, along with its relationship to the concept of
meaning. Existentialists assert that if an individual is not living
authentically in their lives, then they lose meaning and can fall into
chronic anxiety, boredom and despair. People might pursue "quick fixes"
to avoid the responsibility of living authentically, eg, quick fixes such as
anesthetizing themselves with alcohol or drugs, living in fantasies, etc.
Others might even assert that it's inauthentic to pursue any approach
(programs, books, etc.) that promises to help people transcend (escape?)
the responsibilities -- and sometimes drudgery -- of day-to-day living.

Regardless of others' perspectives on authenticity, it's important for

people in management to live and work as authentically as possible -- a
goal that is usually often difficult to achieve, particularly in large

1288
organizations. As mentioned above, how one chooses to live a more
authentic life depends on their perspective. A person might choose to
appreciate more their own current approach to life, or meditate on a
regular basis, or journal (write down) their thoughts, or engage in
regular retreats, or sign up for a more complete program, etc.

Major Benefits of Authenticity

Peter Block, in his book Flawless Consulting, asserts that authenticity is

one of the critical aspects of successful consulting (along with
successfully carrying out the phases of consulting). There are several
reasons for the importance of authenticity.

1. Encourages coachees to be open, honest and direct in the here-and-

now.
The collaborative consultant wants the coachee to be as open and honest
as possible. The consultant can encourage open and honest behavior in
others by modeling that behavior themselves. This helps the consultant
to fully understand the coachee and provide useful feedback that the
coachee will hear, as well.

Authenticity from your coachee also provides extremely valuable

feedback to you. Frequently, you do not have sufficient opportunity to
continually learn about yourself, particularly in settings with your
coachees. Coachees who choose to be authentic around you are offering
you a precious gift that can be used by you to cultivate a collaborative
consulting relationship with them and others.

2. Builds coachees trust and confidence in your relationship.

You can build a strong relationship with your coachee by showing them
that you trust them enough to be able to handle the truth. In turn, they
will do the same thing for you. Trust and confidence are critical
ingredients for a successful working relationship between you and your
coachee.

3. Deals with issues before the issues fester.

When people express themselves honestly in the here-and-now, they are
much more likely to report issues as soon as they notice them. This
1289
ensures that issues are addressed when they occur, rather than festering
until they show themselves as major forms of resistance to change
during the project.

4. Considers important data about the coachees situation.

Information that you gather from your other senses is important data
about your coachees situation. The more open and honest that you can
be about your own perceptions, the more likely that the data from your
senses will be accurate. Many times that data can be used to more
accurately understand your coachees situation.

5. Ensures organizational change efforts remain relevant, realistic and

flexible.
Plans rarely are implemented as planned. Authentic behavior from your
coachees helps all parties involved to accurately perceive and talk about
any changes in the project so, as a result, plans can be updated with
those changes and thereby remain up-to-date. Perhaps Terry, in his
book, Authentic Leadership, puts it best: authenticity self-corrects.

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Key Guidelines to Authentic Behavior

Block and various schools of psychology, for example, Carl Rogers self-
directed therapy, describe the following core characteristics of authentic
behavior. Considering their descriptions, authentic behavior is more
attainable than many believe and it might help you to work easier rather
than work harder in your projects for change.

1. Honest -- Speak the truth.

2. Direct -- Speak in terms that are clear, concise and focused.
3. About here-and-now -- Speak about what is going on right now.
4. From you -- Report your own experience of the here-and-now.
5. Non-judgmental of others -- Speak about what you are experiencing
around others, not of your judgments of others.

Unless you are authentic in a supportive manner, coachees might feel

like you are being aggressive. Aggressive behavior is perceived as
demanding, forceful, arrogant and even hostile. That can cause
discomfort, alienation, confusion and distrust between you and your
coachees. Experienced consultants have learned to employ authentic
communication in a manner that is completely honest, yet remains
supportive and respectful.

Note that authentic behavior does not always mean the consultants
speaking the truth about anything and everything all the time.
Sometimes the consultant senses that the coachee is not yet ready to
hear about the consultants speculations, for example, about causes of
issues or the coachees role in those issues. Sometimes these
speculations would simply overwhelm and confuse the coachee.

In every case, it is up to the consultants judgment as to how much they

think out loud. However, usually there is more of a downside to not
being authentic than the downside of sharing your thoughts and
impressions with your coachees.

1291
4.30 PARADIGMS
Businessdictionary.com defines paradigm as: Intellectual perception or
view, accepted by an individual or a society as a clear example, model, or
pattern of how things work in the world.

Their definition of paradigm shift is: A fundamental change in an

individual's or a society's view of how things work in the world. For
example, the shift from earth to sun as the center of solar system,
'humors' to microbes as causes of disease, heart to brain as the seat
of thinking and feeling.

Read more:
http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/paradigm.html#ixzz1kh
aEStEu

Webster Dictionary describes a paradigm as "an example or pattern:

small, self-contained, simplified examples that we use to illustrate
procedures, processes, and theoretical points."

The most quoted definition of paradigm is Thomas Kuhn's (1962, 1970),

i.e. paradigm as the underlying assumptions and intellectual structure
upon which research and development in a field of inquiry is based. The
other definitions in the research literature include:

1. Patton (1990): A paradigm is a world view, a general

perspective, a way of breaking down the complexity of the real
world.
2. Paradigm is an interpretative framework, which is guided by "a
set of beliefs and feelings about the world and how it should be
understood and studied." (Guba, 1990). Denzin and Lincoln
(2001) listed three categories of those beliefs:
Ontology: what kind of being is the human being. Ontology
deals with the question of what is real.
Epistemology: what is the relationship between the inquirer
and the known: "epistemology is the branch of philosophy
that studies the nature of knowledge and the process by

1292
 which knowledge is acquired and validated" (Gall, Borg, &
Gall, 1996)
Methodology: how do we know the world, or gain
knowledge of it?

When challenging the assumptions underlying positivism, Lincoln and

Guba (2000) also identified two more categories that will distinguish
different paradigms, i.e. beliefs in causality and oxiology.

The assumptions of causality asserts the position of the nature and

possibility of causal relationship; oxiology deals with the issues about
value. Specific assumptions about research include the role of value in
research, how to avoid value from influencing research, and how best to
use research products (Baptiste, 2000).

Dill and Romiszowski (1997) stated the functions of paradigms as

follows:
Define how the world works, how knowledge is extracted from
this world, and how one is to think, write, and talk about this
knowledge
Define the types of questions to be asked and the methodologies
to be used in answering
Decide what is published and what is not published
Structure the world of the academic worker
Provide its meaning and its significance

Source: http://www.personal.psu.edu/wxh139/paradigm.htm
(The Pennsylvania State University 2010. All rights reserved.)

Paradigms are an effort to make things explainable and understandable,

they drive all behavior, and behavior drives results. Paradigms are
mental models or ways of thinking about something, they define what
we view as important and how we approach problems and activities.
They focus our attention, they concentrate our efforts on what we have
deemed to be important, they give us the confidence to solve problems.

Ideally shifting your paradigms will allow you to change from who you
think you are, to who you truly are. It is a movement from the accepted
1293
paradigm, to a new one, a restructuring of the patterns we rely on for
decision-making, and is the only way to achieve a better outcome.

The problem with a paradigm shift is that you do not know you are in it,
until the new paradigm becomes the 'conventional wisdom' (rarely do
people like Einstein come along and write a small book and shatter a
paradigm, as he did overturning Newtonian physics which had
dominated for hundreds of years and, within the scientific community,
was the prevailing paradigm of thought). The process the mind goes
through during a paradigm shift is, to many, fascinating.

Paradigm shifts can be shaped by the choices we make, by forces beyond

our control, or a combination of the two.They are not just ideas that are
used by scientists, they are a part of the way our brains work and we all
rely upon them.They are one way of creating an instant belief change,
and can take place only after a sudden and opposite change in our
perceptions, which is normally different from reality.

Perhaps the greatest barrier to shifting our paradigms, in some cases, is

the reality of paradigm paralysis, the inability or refusal to see beyond
the current models of thinking. This is similar to what Psychologists
term Confirmation Bias which is usually defined as when as humans we
seek out information that confirms our held beliefs and ignore facts that
run counter to those beliefs.

Historically, one such shift is the Copernican revolution in which a belief

in the world being flat was first challenged by the invention of the
telescope, and then with the progression of science, discarded. Also
consider the Swiss who failed to patent or market the quartz watch, even
though they invented it, because they couldn't shift paradigms. They
couldn't shift paradigms because they couldn't see that there would be a
market for another kind of watch besides the kind they had already been
successfully making and selling for generations.

Essentially, a paradigm shift is a complete change in thinking or belief

systems that allow the creation of a new condition previously thought
impossible or unacceptable. Paradigm shifting is the movement from one
paradigm to another. Paradigms are unquestioned convictions,

1294
unquestioned because almost everyone has accepted and bought into
that same view of life, and are beliefs about life albeit not necessarily
true or accurate.They are the mental models that each of us carries in
our minds.

When anomalies or inconsistencies arise within a given paradigm and

present problems that we are unable to solve, our view of reality must
change, as must the way we perceive, think, and value the world. A
paradigm shift is the only way to achieve a better outcome.

Source: Change your paradigms change your life! By Dennis McKenzie

1295
4.31 BALANCE
4.31.1. LIFE BALANCE

Coaching is all about finding balance in your life balancing all those
things that are important to you while still taking care of yourself and
the people who are important to you.

A coach will guide you from where you are to where you want to be.
Once youve decided to start working with a coach, they will work with
you to help you reach goals that you set.

During your first meeting, your coach may use the Life Balance Wheel to
help you identify the areas of your life you want to improve. Once youve
chosen your key areas, your coach will ask you some questions so you

1296
can determine what goals you want to set for yourself with regard to
these areas.

Common topics for discussion:

How satisfied are you with each area of your life?
Which life area would you most like to improve?
Describe what that life area would look like if you were 100%
satisfied?
What are all the possibilities for this area of your life?
If you were at your best, what would you do right now?
What is the difference between a wish and a goal?
What is stopping you from moving forward?

Your coach will help you identify strategies to reach your goals and
figure out what might prevent you from attaining them. With this
information, you start working to get from where you are to where you
want to be. In your next sessions, youll talk with your coach about your
successes since the last session and any setbacks you encounter. Your
coach will strategize with you on how to capitalize on your successes and
work around obstacles.

Source: Coaching4Teens@centerstone.org.

1297
4.31..2 EMOTIONAL BALANCE

A person is feeling balanced, when their energy is equally devided

between thinking, feeling and behaviour.

When something happens however, these three segments of our

personality do not respond with the same speed. Emotions (anger
{fight}, fear {flight}, sadness {healing} or joy {celebrate}) surge almost
instantly, whilst it takes an average of seven seconds for rational
thoughts to manifest themselves.

We can experience a whirlwind of emotions ranging from thrilling to

devastating, and if were not prepared to deal with them, they can lead
us to do some very irrational things.

If youve ever heard the saying, I was so mad I couldnt think straight,
you have an idea of the importance of emotional balance. We tend to
think less clearly and thoroughly when we are highly emotional.

Any emotional extreme can lead us to make hasty decisions we might

later regret. Even when emotions are positive our behavior can be
erratic and unpredictable. We want to learn how to balance our state of
mind to most effectively deal with others and certain situations that
trigger us.

Without emotional balance we are like a pendulum hanging and

swinging back and forth, not able to find a sturdy or fixed position with
which to make decisions.

A good starting place to achieving emotional balance is learning what

triggers our emotions in the first place, and then finding ways to deal
with these emotional swings that may occur.

1298
What are your triggers?

We all have pet-peeves, things that get under our skin, and certain issues
that just set us off. The awareness of these triggers is a crucial starting
place to achieving emotional balance. Being prepared and ready to deal
with frustration and irritation helps us intervene before our emotions
get the best of us.

Think about a situation that triggers you: What are you doing? Are you
with anybody specific or at a certain place? How does this trigger make
you feel?

Techniques to keep yourself in balance

Centering
When we get really emotional this leads to strong physical and mental
effects. Our heart rate increases, body temperature rises, and breathing
becomes rapid and shallow. We may have racing thoughts and begin
thinking in a way that exacerbates our emotional experience.

Learning to settle the physical response and the thoughts that are
accompanying them can really help to maintain balance.

Here are five steps to center your state of mind and regain balance.

1. Pause
2. Slowly breathe in and picture a calming person, place, or object
in your mind.
3. Exhale slowly through your mouth breathing out the negative
feeling.
4. Continue deep breathing and as you inhale imagine taking in the
calming peaceful image, and breathing out the negative feelings
and thoughts.
5. Continue breathing in and out at least 10 times, and incorporate
some stretching and muscle relaxation by rolling your shoulders
and stretching your neck from side to side and front to back.

Re-framing

1299
Another way to deal with the flood of disturbing thoughts that can
accompany emotional extremes is to re-frame the way we are thinking
and interpreting the situation. This requires that we alter some the
thoughts and beliefs that are taking place.

Try these techniques to help re-frame the thoughts that may be

triggering you.

What would you tell in friend in the same situation?

A great technique is to consider what you would tell a friend in the same
situation. If you are considering someone you care about, wouldnt you
give them positive uplifting advice? Of course you would! You would
offer them support and encouragement to deal with their struggle.

Often we are much harder on ourselves than we are on others. Maybe

youre saying critical and belittling comments to yourself and making the
situation more difficult to handle. If you wouldnt tell a friend these
things, why would you tell yourself?

Learning from past experience

In retrospect we would probably deal with many situations differently.
Fortunately learning from our past experience offers a great technique to
help change troubling perspectives. Consider how you have handled a
similar situation in the past. Did it work out well? What did you learn
from it?

Reviewing a similar situation from the past helps us to understand what

we need to do to get the results we desire. This can be a reminder that
some of our worries may be exaggerated and we have been able to
successfully deal with a similar situation before. Or, it may just be a
chance to pause before acting to make sure we dont impulsively make
an unhealthy choice.

Do a reality check
This is where we consider if we may be overreacting and exaggerating
what is taking place. We may tend to catastrophize and think of the
worst possible scenario, or we might using restrictive words like always,
must, and never.

1300
Have you ever said, This always happens to me! Or, I never have any
luck!
These types of statements can really amp up the emotional distress, and
more often than not, are major exaggerations.

Instead, we want to ask some different questions. Ask yourself, whats

the worst that could happen, or what do I want from this situation? Is
there a positive way I can look at this that Im overlooking?

These type of questions help change our focus from feeling out of control
to having a chance to determine how we want to feel and making
changes that help us get our needs met.

These tips and techniques can help us to keep things in perspective and
deal with matters more effectively. When we are triggered we can
maintain self-control and begin reaping the benefits of healthy
relationships, more effective communication, and unwavering poise and
confidence.

1301
Techniques to help others restore their emotional balance

Empathic listening: invite them to talk about their situation and

feelings.
Name the emotion they are communicating and ask if they want to
talk about it.
Lose the battle: Say: you are absolutely right.
If they are stuck in their thoughts and cannot decide, what to do, ask
what they are thinking or what they would like to achieve.
Instert a time break, go to the bathroom: allow them time and
space to restore their balance.

See also: 3.26 COPING : p .

Source: http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/achieve-emotional-
balance/
Author: Joe Wilner

1302
4.32 Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is a different type of intelligence. Its about
being heart smart, not just book smart. The evidence shows that
emotional intelligence matters just as much as intellectual ability, if not
more so, when it comes to happiness and success in life. Emotional
intelligence helps you build strong relationships, succeed at work, and
achieve your goals.

The skills of emotional intelligence can be developed throughout life. You

can boost your own EQ by learning how to rapidly reduce stress,
connect to your emotions, communicate nonverbally, use humor and
play to deal with challenges, and defuse conflicts with confidence and
self-assurance.

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, use, understand, and

manage your emotions in positive and constructive ways. It's about
recognizing your own emotional state and the emotional states of others.
Emotional intelligence is also about engaging with others in ways that
draw people to you.

Emotional intelligence consists of four core abilities:

Self-awareness The ability to recognize your own emotions

and how they affect your thoughts and behavior, know your
strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence.
Self-management The ability to control impulsive feelings and
behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take
initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to
changing circumstances.
Social awareness The ability to understand the emotions,
needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional cues,
feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a
group or organization.
Relationship management The ability to develop and maintain
good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence
others, work well in a team, and manage conflict.

1303
Emotional Intelligence (EQ) vs. Intellectual Intelligence (IQ)

Most of us have learned not to trust our emotions. We've been told
emotions distort the more accurate information our intellect supplies.
Even the term emotional has come to mean weak, out of control, and
even childish. "Don't be a baby!" we say to the little boy who is crying on
the playground. "Leave him alone! Let him work it out!" we admonish
the little girl who runs to help the little boy.

On the other hand, our abilities to memorize and problem-solve, to spell

words and do mathematical calculations, are easily measured on written
tests and slapped as grades on report cards. Ultimately, these intellectual
abilities dictate which college will accept us and which career paths
were advised to follow.

However, intellectual intelligence (IQ) is usually less important in

determining how successful we are than emotional intelligence (EQ). We
all know people who are academically brilliant and yet are socially inept
and unsuccessful. What they are missing is emotional intelligence.

Emotional development: How to raise your emotional intelligence

Most of us know that there is a world of difference between knowledge

and behavior, or applying that knowledge to make changes in our lives.
There are many things we may know and want to do, but dont or cant
when were under pressure. This is especially true when it comes to
emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is not learned in the standard intellectual way; it

must be learned and understood on an emotional level. We cant simply
read about emotional intelligence or master it through memorization. In
order to learn about emotional intelligence in a way that produces
change, we need to engage the emotional parts of the brain in ways that
connect us to others. This kind of learning is based on what we see, hear,
and feel. Intellectual understanding is an important first step, but the
development of emotional intelligence depends on sensory, nonverbal
learning and real-life practice.

1304
Developing emotional intelligence through five key skills:

Emotional intelligence consists of five key skills, each building on the

last:
Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 1: The ability to quickly reduce
stress.
Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 2: The ability to recognize and
manage your emotions.
Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 3: The ability to connect with
others using nonverbal communication.
Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 4: The ability to use humor and
play to deal with challenges.
Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 5: The ability to resolve
conflicts positively and with confidence.
The five skills of emotional intelligence can be learned by anyone, at
anytime. But there is a difference between learning about emotional
intelligence and applying that knowledge to your life. Just because you
know you should do something doesnt mean you willespecially when
youre feeling stressed. This is especially true when it comes to the skills
of emotional intelligence.
Raising your emotional intelligence by engaging your emotions.

When you become overwhelmed by stress, the emotional parts of your

brain override the rational partshijacking your best-laid plans,
intentions, and strategies. In order to permanently change behavior in
ways that stand up under pressure, you need to learn how to take
advantage of the powerful emotional parts of the brain that remain
active and accessible even in times of stress. This means that you cant
simply read about emotional intelligence in order to master it. You have
to learn the skills on a deeper, emotional levelexperiencing and
practicing them in your everyday life.

Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 1: Rapidly reduce stress

When were under high levels of stress, rational thinking and decision
making go out the window. Runaway stress overwhelms the mind and
body, getting in the way of our ability to accurately read a situation,
hear what someone else is saying, be aware of our own feelings and
needs, and communicate clearly.

1305
The first key skill of emotional intelligence is the ability to quickly calm
yourself down when youre feeling overwhelmed. Being able to manage
stress in the moment is the key to resilience. This emotional intelligence
skill helps you stay balanced, focused, and in controlno matter what
challenges you face.

Stress busting: functioning well in the heat of the moment

Develop your stress busting skills by working through the following
three steps:

Realize when youre stressed The first step to reducing stress

is recognizing what stress feels like. Many of us spend so much
time in an unbalanced state that weve forgotten what it feels
like to be calm and relaxed.
Identify your stress response Everyone reacts differently to
stress. Do you tend to space out and get depressed? Become
angry and agitated? Freeze with anxiety? The best way to
quickly calm yourself depends on your specific stress response.
Discover the stress busting techniques that work for you The
best way to reduce stress quickly is through the senses: through
sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. But each person responds
differently to sensory input, so you need to find things that are
soothing to you.

Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 2: Connect to your emotions

The second key skill of emotional intelligence is having a moment-to-

moment awareness of your emotions and how they influence your
thoughts and actions. Emotional awareness is the key to understanding
yourself and others.

Many people are disconnected from their emotionsespecially strong

core emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, and joy. But although we can
distort, deny, or numb our feelings, we cant eliminate them. Theyre still
there, whether were aware of them or not. Unfortunately, without
emotional awareness, we are unable to fully understand our own
motivations and needs, or to communicate effectively with others.

1306
What kind of a relationship do you have with your emotions?

Do you experience feelings that flow, encountering one emotion

after another as your experiences change from moment to
moment?
Are your emotions accompanied by physical sensations that you
experience in places like your stomach or chest?
Do you experience discrete feelings and emotions, such as anger,
sadness, fear, joy, each of which is evident in subtle facial
expressions?
Can you experience intense feelings that are strong enough to
capture both your attention and that of others?
Do you pay attention to your emotions? Do they factor into your
decision making?

If any of these experiences are unfamiliar, your emotions may be turned

down or turned off. In order to be emotionally healthy and emotionally
intelligent, you must reconnect to your core emotions, accept them, and
become comfortable with them.

Emotional intelligence skill (EQ) 3: Nonverbal communication

Being a good communicator requires more than just verbal skills.

Oftentimes, what we say is less important than how we say it or the
other nonverbal signals we send out. In order to hold the attention of
others and build connection and trust, we need to be aware of and in
control of our nonverbal cues. We also need to be able to accurately read
and respond to the nonverbal cues that other people send us.

Nonverbal communication is the third skill of emotional intelligence.

This wordless form of communication is emotionally driven. It asks the
questions: Are you listening? and Do you understand and care?
Answers to these questions are expressed in the way we listen, look,
move, and react. Our nonverbal messages will produce a sense of
interest, trust, excitement, and desire for connectionor they will
generate fear, confusion, distrust, and disinterest.

Part of improving nonverbal communication involves paying attention

to:
Eye contact
1307
 Facial expression
Tone of voice
Posture and gesture
Touch
Timing and pace

Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 4: Use humor and play to deal with
challenges

Humor, laughter, and play are natural antidotes to lifes difficulties. They
lighten our burdens and help us keep things in perspective. A good
hearty laugh reduces stress, elevates mood, and brings our nervous
system back into balance.

The ability to deal with challenges using humor and play is the fourth
skill of emotional intelligence. Playful communication broadens our
emotional intelligence and helps us:
Take hardships in stride. By allowing us to view our frustrations
and disappointments from new perspectives, laughter and play
enable us to survive annoyances, hard times, and setbacks.
Smooth over differences. Using gentle humor often helps us say
things that might be otherwise difficult to express without
creating a flap.
Simultaneously relax and energize ourselves. Playful
communication relieves fatigue and relaxes our bodies, which
allows us to recharge and accomplish more.
Become more creative. When we loosen up, we free ourselves of
rigid ways of thinking and being, allowing us to get creative and
see things in new ways.

Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 5: Resolve conflict positively

Conflict and disagreements are inevitable in relationships. Two people

cant possibly have the same needs, opinions, and expectations at all
times. However, that neednt be a bad thing! Resolving conflict in
healthy, constructive ways can strengthen trust between people. When
conflict isnt perceived as threatening or punishing, it fosters freedom,
creativity, and safety in relationships.

1308
The ability to manage conflicts in a positive, trust-building way is the
fifth key skill of emotional intelligence. Successfully resolving differences
is supported by the previous four skills of emotional intelligence. Once
you know how to manage stress, stay emotionally present and aware,
communicate nonverbally, and use humor and play, youll be better
equipped to handle emotionally-charged situations and catch and defuse
many issues before they escalate.

Tips for resolving conflict in a trust-building way:

Stay focused in the present. When we are not holding on to old
hurts and resentments, we can recognize the reality of a current
situation and view it as a new opportunity for resolving old
feelings about conflicts.
Choose your arguments. Arguments take time and energy,
especially if you want to resolve them in a positive way.
Consider what is worth arguing about and what is not.
Forgive. If you continue to be hurt or mistreated, protect
yourself. But someone elses hurtful behavior is in the past,
remember that conflict resolution involves giving up the urge to
punish.
End conflicts that can't be resolved. It takes two people to keep
an argument going. You can choose to disengage from a conflict,
even if you still disagree.

Source:
Helpguide.org
Authors: Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., and Melinda Smith, M.A. Last

1309
1310
4.33 THE FIVE FREEDOMS
The Five Freedoms of Becoming More Fully Human Virginia Satir &
Mental Health - By Athena Staik, Ph.D.

In celebration of mental health, todays post

honors family psychotherapist and social
worker extraordinaire Virginia Satir.

Recognized by many as the pioneer of

family therapy, she developed her own
approach, conjoint family therapy, in the
1960s, later known as the human validation
process model or the Satir Change Model as
applied to business organizations.

She had a great impact on the practice of

therapy in general Virginia Satir introduced
many transformational concepts, among
others: an emphasis in the role that love plays in therapeutic processes;
the human need for personal space and validation; the difference
between what people intend to say and what they actually say; and the
importance of healthy relationships and self-esteem in mental and
emotional health and well being.

Satir viewed each person as unique and empowered them to connect

with their own inner source of wisdom.
Satir believed the cause of mental imbalance were the limiting identities
or rigid belief systems people formed as a result of feeling forced to live
up to rigid expectations, comparisons, external standards and judgments
that existed at personal, familial and cultural levels. Known for
demonstrations of her work with families, in which she seemingly
performed miracles before large audiences, Satir had a knack for helping
family members quickly access their strengths and authentic voices.

1311
Four Survival Stances

Satir observed that people developed one of four distinct survival

stances, or some combination of these, in attempt to cope with their
problems: (1) Placating; (2) Blaming; (3) Super-reasonable; and (4)
Irrelevant.

A fifth stance that she identified was

not really a stance, but rather her
definition for what mental health
looked like for a person, increasingly
so, once they made the transforming
choice of becoming more fully human.

Congruent and Fully Human

A healthy person was first and foremost authentic in the how they
related to self and others, in that they: appreciated uniqueness; flowed
with interpersonal energy; were willing to take risks; were willing to be
vulnerable; were open to intimacy; felt free to accept self and others;
loved self and others; and were also flexible and self-aware.

A healthy person also:

Communicates congruently with their words, emotions and bodies.
Makes conscious choices based on awareness, acknowledgment, and
acceptance of self, other, and context.
Replies to questions directly, evaluates before passing judgement,
and listens to own wisdom box.
Expresses sexual vitality, and names desires openly.
Makes requests of others without having to explain themselves.
Makes honest choices, and takes risks on own behalf.

1312
The Five Freedoms Using Our Senses

Satir keenly observed that many adults

learned to deny certain senses from
childhood, that is, to deny what they hear, see,
taste, smell and touch/feel.

Noting the significant role our senses play in

our survival, she devised the following Five
Freedoms tool, essentially affirmations, to
help people connect to their body and self in
the moment, and focus their attention on their
inner resources and creative choices in the
present. (Here we see how ahead of her time
Satir was; these are mindfulness concepts proven today by neuroscience
research.)

The Five Freedoms are:

1. The freedom to see and hear what is here, instead of what
should be, was, or will be.
2. The freedom to say what you feel and think, instead of what you
should feel and think.
3. The freedom to feel what you feel, instead of what you ought
to feel.
4. The freedom to ask for what you want, instead of always waiting
for permission.
5. The freedom to take risks on you own behalf, instead of
choosing to be only secure.

Satirs Therapeutic Beliefs and Assumptions

Satir believed people have an internal drive that propels them to become
more fully human. She viewed this positive energy, as a life force that
exerts wholesome pulls and pushes on usphysically, emotionally, and
spirituallythroughout life.

1313
Her therapeutic model rested on the following assumptions, that:
Change is possible. Believe it.
The most challenging tasks in life are relational. Simultaneously,
relational tasks are the only avenue for growth. All challenges in life
are relational.
No task in life is more difficult as the role of parent. Parents do the
best they can do given time the resources they see available to
them at any given time.
Next to our role as parents, no task in life is more challenging. We all
have the internal resources we need to access successfully and to
grow.
We have choices, disempowering and empowering ones, especially in
terms of responding to stress.
All efforts to produce change need to focus on health and possibilities
(not pathology).
Hope is a significant component or ingredient for change.
People connect on similarities and grow on resolving differences.
The major goal in life is to become own choice makers, agents and
architects of our life and relationships.
We are all manifestations of the same life energy and intelligence.
Most people choose familiarity over comfort, especially in times of
stress.
The problem is not the problem, coping is the problem.
Emotions belong to us. They are an essential aspect of experiencing
self, life, others.
All human beings at heart are beings of love and intelligence who
seek to grow, express their creativity, intelligence, and basic
goodness; need to be validated, connect, and find own inner treasure.
Parents often repeat own familiar patterns, even if dysfunctional.
We cannot change past events, only the effects they have on us today.
Appreciating and accepting the past increases our ability to manage
present.
Goal toward wholeness: accept parents as people and meet them at
their level of personhood rather than only in their roles.
Coping is the manifestation of our level of self-worth.
The higher our self-worth, the more wholesome our coping.

1314
 Human processes are universal and therefore occur in different
settings, cultures, and circumstances.

I AM ME By Virginia Satir

A poem that Virginia Satir wrote following a session with a young

coachee who questioned the meaning of her life.

I am me.
In all the world, there is no one exactly like me.
There are persons who have some parts like me,
but no one adds up exactly like me.
Therefore, everything that comes out of me is
authentically mine
because I alone choose it.

I own everything about me

My body including everything it does;
My mind including all its thoughts and ideas;
My eyes including the images of all they behold;
My feelings whatever they may be
anger, joy, frustration, love, disappointment, excitement,
My Mouth and all the words that come out of it
polite, sweet or rough, correct or incorrect;
My Voice loud or soft.
And all my actions, whether they be to others or to myself.
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears.
I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.

Because I own all of me I can become intimately acquainted with me.

By doing so I can love me and be friendly with me in all parts.
I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests.

I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me,

and other aspects that I do not know.
But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself,
I can courageously and hopefully, look for solutions to the puzzles
and for ways to find out more about me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do,

1315
And whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is me.
This is authentic and represents where I am in that moment in time.
When I review later how I looked and sounded, what I said and did,
And how I thought and felt, some parts may turn out to be unfitting.
I can discard that which is unfitting,
And keep that which proved fitting,
And invent something new for that which I discarded.

I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do.

I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive,
and to make sense and order out of the world of people
and things outside of me.
I own me, and therefore I can engineer me.
I am me and I am okay.

Hope youve enjoyed this post, and, if youve been inspired in any way, or
have thoughts to share, Id love to hear from you!
Virginia Satir (26 June 1916 10 September 1988) was an American
author and psychotherapist, known especially for her approach to family
therapy and her work with Systemic Constellations. Her most well-
known books are Conjoint Family Therapy, 1964, Peoplemaking, 1972,
and The New Peoplemaking, 1988.

She is also known for creating the Virginia Satir Change Process Model, a
psychological model which was developed through clinical studies, and
later applied to organizations. Change management and organizational
gurus of the 1990s and 2000s embrace this model to define how change
impacts organizations.

Source:

http://psychcentral.com/

1316
4.32 GENDER DIFFERENCES
There are numerous theories on gender differences in communication.
Some theories teach that they are nature, others that they are nurtured.
Some are innate and some hold that they are learned.
Others hold that there are no differences when speaking to an audience.
We are all the same.
Regardless of the differences, if and how they come about and what ever
the hard wiring of the brain may be, understanding the differences is
essential to communicate with your opposite.
One Communication, Two Applications
This list has two basic applications. One is with colleagues, those you
work with or interact with. The other application is with loved ones,
family and close friends. Wherever and whenever you are
communicating, understanding the differences can enhance your ability
to communicate.
Understanding this will help resolve problems in relationships.
We Are Not Stereotypical
The list below is general and based on research. Even so, each individual
may have qualities that are of their opposite. Some men will put the lid
down, ask for directions and read the instructions.
Some people are not typical of the lists below.
By understanding the gender differences in communication, what ever
they may be will help with the communication process.
First the list. Then what you can do about it. The list is based on studies
of how boys and girls communicate from preschool to adulthood. The
findings are that we are quite different culturally.

Gender Differences in Communication

1317
Women
Seek out relationships with others
Relate to others as equals
Prefer interdependency, collaboration, coordination and cooperation
Make decisions based on mutual agreement
Desire closeness, togetherness and affinity
Care for the approval of peers
express themselves more in private
Are more open to share problems
Tend to focus on details of emotions
More concerned with feelings
May mix personal and business talk
Tend to ask for help, advice and directions
Offer sympathy
Display empathy
Desire to understand problems
Tend to take a more sober look at challenges
Men
Tend to seek standing and position
Relate to others as rivals
Tend toward independence and autonomy
Choose or resolve by force, persuasion or majority rule
Desires space
Tend to seek the respect of their peers
Express themselves more in public
Keep concerns to themselves
Tend to focus on the details of fact
Often will not ask for advice, help or directions
Freely offer advice and analysis
Are problem solvers
Tend to look at challenges as a game unless life and death is at stake
Men can learn sensitivity, openness, and self control with
competitiveness when communicating with women.

1318
Women can learn to be more direct, assertive, and mirror the feelings of
the men who they have to communicate with.
The list is not to make women into male communicators and men into
female communicators. This list is a starting point to use to improve
communication with the opposite sex.
Source:
http://www.speechmastery.com/gender-differences-in-
communication.html

1319
4.35 PITFALLS FOR COACHING
Jumping to solutions
Advocating too early
Assuming you know what the coachee wants to get out of the
conversation or coaching relationship
Reloading rather than listening.

How to avoid some pitfalls of coaching

1. Reach agreement up-front.

Do not to start without a signed agreement between the coach and the
coachee. If coaching is your bread and butter, you need to ensure that
you will be paid for your services. If the potential coachee is reluctant to
talk through these important issues before intervention starts, its highly
unlikely that those issuesincluding payment of your professional
feeswill occur later.

2. Know the difference between being in control and in charge.

Coaches need to let go of any desire to control outcomes. For a coach to
be effective, s/he must remain in charge but be prepared to give
control to the coachee. It is the coachee who must accept responsibility
for his or her behavior and goal-achievement.

3. Remain solution-focused.
Coaching is a goal-directed, solution-focused activity. The coach must
ensure that his or her actions are forward-looking rather than backward
looking and focusing on what works rather than dwelling on the
problem. If as coach you recognize the need to recommend the services
of an accredited therapistdo so.

http://www.justasktom.com/topic/staff-related-issues/how-avoid-pitfalls-
coaching

1320
4.36 FEAR
Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that
something else is more important than fear. Ambrose Redmoon
(aka James Neil Hollingworth).
++++++++++++++++++
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.

We ask ourselves: who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and

fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesnt serve the world.
Theres nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people wont
feel insecure around us.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

Its not just in some of us; its in everyone of us.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically
liberates others.
(Nelson Mandela, 1994 Inaugural Speech)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
4.36.1 FEAR - False Evidence Appearing Real
By Harry McDuffee
There is an old saying that says, "You Have Nothing to Fear Except Fear
Itself!" How true is that?
Everyone has fears. What do you fear? Some people have a fear of the
dark, some fear heights, some fear closed in spaces - What is it that you
fear?
Did you know there are those that fear Success? That's right there are
people that are afraid of succeeding at something! There are people that

1321
spend their whole lives failing because they are afraid of succeeding at
something. So guess what - they spend their whole lives failing because
they feel success carries to big a price tag. So they never really dig in and
try to succeed!
What I want to do right now is give you a definition of F.E.A.R. that I
heard some years ago. I can't remember where I got this now but it is the
best definition I've ever heard. Are you ready? Here it is:
False Evidence Appearing Real
Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real! Fear will rear its ugly face and
make you believe what is unbelievable. Fear can appear and make you
see a false Reality, but Fear is never a Reality! That is why it spells out -
False Evidence Appearing Real!
Let me ask those of you that Fear the darkness - What is in the dark that
isn't there in the light? The answer is nothing! We can imagine all sorts
of things but where are those things when the light goes on?
When I was a little boy my mommy would come into my room and tuck
me in than turn out the light (bedtime), after she left the room I would
start screaming - 'mommy, mommy, mommy help me mommy snakes in
my bed'. My mommy would come in and turn on the light and the snakes
would disappear. Where did they go? My mommy would search under
the bed, in the closet, dresser draws, etc. NO SNAKES! Were the snakes
ever in reality there? F.E.A.R.!
Isn't this the way we all do when it comes to success? We (myself
included) can find all the reasons why it won't work! We drupe around
in the darkness never thinking to just turn the light on so we can see the
actual Reality of the thing. Don't believe the False Evidence Appearing
(the friend who says you can't make no money doing that - get a job or
this is a scheme, scam, etc.). The Reality is you are in Business treat your
business like any business! Show up for work on time, learn what you
need to do for your business to succeed and do what is required to
succeed and you will.
There are 3 things that are REAL: Death (Hank Williams sang a song,
"you ain't getting' out of this world a live), Taxes (Uncle Sam will get his
share) and a Higher Power - Now that is Reality!

1322
There is another Reality straight from the month of my mother - "Can't
Never Did Do Nothin'!" The word Can't comes from F.E.A.R.! My mother
also told me, "Son, You Can Do Anything If You Want To Do It Bad
Enough. It just depends how bad you WANT it!" I'm asking you, 'How
Bad Do You Want To Succeed?'
Don't let Fear cloud your judgment. There is all kinds of false evidence
with an appearance of reality, but if you will turn the light on then you
can see that what appears to be in the darkness is just an imagination
run wild. Turn On the Light and See what is really there - REALITY!
There is no reason in the world why you can not do for yourself what
you do for your Employer on the job. The biggest difference between the
J.O.B. and your Home-Based Business is you are calling the shots - Not
your Employer! The other difference is your Employer hands you that
paycheck at the end of the week - Guaranteed pay!
Think of this for a second - What if all of a sudden your Employer comes
to you and says, 'Your production has been down lately.' Do you think
your Employer would not consider replacing you if he could find
someone that would produce better results? Where is that job security
now? Talk About F.E.A.R.!?
You have the capability to work at home in your spare time and build a
business that could one day yield you a six-figure income. Will your boss
on the job ever pay you what you are truly worth? Which opportunity do
you really think presents the most F.E.A.R.? Which Really Creates the
Most Security - Which is False Evidence Appearing Real? Choose One!?
The choices we make today shape our future tomorrow. Are you going to
let your fears keep you from being and doing what is best for your
tomorrow? Are you willing to make changes in your life now? Then step
out and do what you know is right for you to do. Look FEAR square in the
face and say, Enough is Enough I will live in reality! For more
information visit: http://www.ClaimYoursnow.com/visit/fear
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Harry_McDuffee
4.36.2 FEAR
Is fear holding you back? How do you feel when you are not able to
accomplish something because you are afraid?

1323
Have you heard the saying that F-E-A-R is False Evidence Appearing
Real or Fantasized Evidence Appearing Real?
Perhaps you were somewhere that you wanted to get up and speak but
the palpitations were so bad you couldnt. Maybe you want to audition
for American Idol but are unable to get up in front of an audience. Are
you ready to be on Americas Next Top Model but fear is holding you
back?
Now, I want you to think about when you conquered a fear. Think about
that time when you said Im going to do this anyway and you did. Do
you remember that feeling of pure freedom, of exhilaration, or joy? I do!
I would like to share with you a little bit I know about Fear. I am going
to fill you in on why I feel the above statement is 100% true. Think about
this for a moment. If you close your eyes and imagine youre standing on
the edge of a tall building really put yourself there you will actually
begin to sway; most people can feel the fear of falling while doing this
demonstration. You are not actually on the building but your mind and
body make a connection to that fear. Another example is if you have ever
gone to a 3-D movie you were most likely startled when something
projected towards you and you jumped. I have experienced this feeling.
Its called fear. We know its not real, but we have the reaction and
feeling as if it is. Our fears can hold us back from doing many things that
we can and want to do most in life.
Think about spiders or bees. How do you react when you see one of
these insects? We know that bees can sting and some spiders are
poisonous but should we be paranoid about these insects? I have a fear
of spiders. I remember a time I made myself paralyzed with fear over a
shadow in the corner of my living room. In my mind it became a huge
spider and I could not move to get rid of it. The fear I felt was so strong
until I realized it was just a shadow. I could not believe how I made
myself become unable to move over something I could quickly overcome.
Some people also allow bad past experiences to hold them in fear. A
personal example of this happened when I was in grade school. I had a
teacher become angry with me. I was giving an oral presentation in front
of the entire class. When it was my turn for the presentation I sat on the
desk. I thought nothing of this because most kids had done it before.
However, when I became nervous I started swinging my legs back and
1324
fourth. I did this during the entire presentation. I was a young child. I did
not realize I was doing it. After I completed my presentation my teacher
proceeded to reprimand me in front of everyone. I remember her saying
something similar to Do you realize that you looked like a complete
idiot? What is wrong with you? Needless to say, I never did or even
wanted to give another oral presentation for the rest of my years in
school. This, in turn, caused me to get grades that were less than what I
was capable of getting, because I refused to do speeches or oral
presentations. As I got older, I realized I wanted to improve my
personality and build confidence over my fears. I began listening to
motivational/self-help books on tape. I would go to uplifting seminars
and found I was feeling better and better about myself. This encouraged
me to want to reach out and help others in need.
I decided I wanted to be a Motivational Speaker or a Coach. But I had to
overcome my speaking fear. I began listening to more books on tape
(now they would be called books on CD). The more I listened, the more
confident I felt. After listening to one particular author/speaker many
times, I decided to write to him for advice. He had advised in his writings
if there was something you wanted to achieve you should be persistent.
So I became very persistent. I wrote to his office many times and they
finally called me back. They asked me What do you want? I told them I
just needed some advice on how to get started with speaking. I explained
I had a fear of speaking in public, so how should I proceed to speak in
front of audiences? Could they possibly help me? They offered me help
by informing me to contact a local Toastmasters and see what they were
all about.
For information purposes, Toastmasters is a great organization for
people who are interested in improving their speaking skills in
preparation and presentation in front of audiences. I certainly needed to
do this. I located the nearest Toastmasters and attend a meeting. At first,
I sat in the background and was too overcome by my fear. I did not
even want to introduce myself. But by realizing this was just the false
evidence appearing real, I faced my fear and within a short period of
time I was President of that Toastmasters. This is not to say I still do not
get nervous every once in a while especially in front of large audiences.
When I do feel the fear I face the crowd and realize there is nothing to
worry about and complete my presentation which gets better with each

1325
event. If I kept myself stuck in that f-e-a-r, I would not be able to help
people and do what I am doing today. Nor would I be who I am and
always wanted to be. Fear False-Evidence-Appearing-Real. Its a
realization that fear is nothing more than what you make it. And it is
something you can overcome. This is my belief. The first time I heard
about F.E.A.R. on my motivational tapes, I felt enlightened and now when
I feel a bit nervous or scared I think of how false fear is. This makes me
feel better.
I would like you to try a simple exercise only if you feel ready. Think
about a fear that has been holding you back from accomplishing
something you truly wanted to do in your life or just had a general fear
of. I would like you to do it or face it. Make sure its sensible and
responsible. Definitely do not do something that would be deemed
irresponsible or harmful to yourself or others. I am by no means telling
you if you are afraid of sharks to go swim with them. Just take the first
steps towards getting over a fear.
Heres an example: Someone who is near and dear to me always counted
on her son to take her to her nieces home that was about an hour away.
Her fear was of getting lost, even though she knew how to get there.
Finally when she had no one to drive her, and after many discussions
with me and her son, she decided to give it a try. This was one of the
scariest things to her. This was a big deal. I am so very proud of her! She
did it! Her comments afterwards were I feel like Im free, Its a feeling
of freedom, I feel great, I feel as if I can do anything now. These are
wonderful feelings. Isnt it time for you to pick something small to start
with? Dont you want to feel that way? For example, if you are afraid of
birds, take your first step by visiting a friend with a friendly pet bird.
Slowly going over to the cage and talking to it. Visit a few times until you
feel comfortable enough to feed it or pet it. Each time will get better.
Or if you have a fear of public speaking, as I did, and want to start
speaking at meetings but are too overwhelmed with fear, I suggest the
following Locate and contact your local Toastmasters or speaking
group and attend a few meetings. Yet another example, if you like
someone and want to ask him or her out but you are afraid of rejection,
my advice is to ask him or her. Why hold yourself back. You will never
know the true answer unless you ask. I would rather ask and be rejected
than to wonder for the rest of my life what could have been. Just
1326
remember you get one step closer to your goals of being a more
confident, less fearful person, each time you face your fear.
What are you ready to conquer? Give it thought. What has been holding
you back? I believe it may be YOU! Only you can get over or through the
fear. Do it!
Sources:
http://www.jiscinfonet.ac.uk/infokits/change-management/index_html
http://www.i-choose-self-improvement.com/index.html
Bob Sevier (www.stamats .com). e-mail toni.levasseur@stamots.com.
COPYRIGHT 2003 Professional Media Group LLC - COPYRIGHT 2003
Gale Group
http://health.wikinut.com/F-E-A-R-%3D-False-Evidence-Appearing-
Real/saays9dh/
Suzanne Zacharia 2010. My name is Suzanne Zacharia and I am
committed to spreading the word about health options. I believe that the
more and better options one has, the more choice there is. And of course,
you are advised to consult with your medical practitioner before
embarking on any course of alternative, complementary, or beauty
therapy. Want to use this article? You can, as long as you credit me with
it and invite your readers to get my FREE "EFT How-to for You" and
regular free EFT Tapping script samples in my newsletter at
http://www.EFT-Scripts.com - New to EFT? No worries, just get your
own copy of "EFT How-to for You" and start EFTing with ease very soon!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Suzanne_Zacharia

1327
4.37 BELBINS TEAM ROLES
Role type Description Characteristics
Likes to get on with the Dutiful, practical and quite
Implementer team's task(s) and sort cautious; predictable and
out practical details sometimes inflexible
Encourages team
Calm, self-confident and
members to make their
supportive; does not get
Coordinator point but keeps the team
involved in matters of
going in the right
detail
direction
Provides drive and
Outgoing, dynamic,
energy to the team's
challenging; impatient
Shaper work, but can try to
and sometimes
influence it with their
provocative
own views
Creative thinker, often
Offers lots of imaginative
unorthodox; likes to work
Plant ideas or specialist
alone and not very
knowledge to the task
practical
Provides lots of Highly communicative,
Resource
information and has lots enthusiastic and curious;
investigator
of useful contacts easily bored
Likes to observe and Prudent, hard-headed and
Monitor/Evaluator measure how well the a good judge; at times
team are doing rather unemotional
Socially orientated,
Does things to keep up
Teamworker sensitive and responsive;
team spirit or morale
sometimes indecisive
Painstaking, orderly,
Makes sure that all tasks
conscientious; can be
Completer/Finisher are finished off
anxious and find it
completely
difficult to let go

(Source: adapted from Belbin, 1981)

1328
It is important to bear in mind that Belbin's roles are not something
anyone is born into. They do not mean that, if you spot one or more of
the characteristics in yourself or others, you must maintain a certain
role. The roles are rather like acting roles in that they can be chosen and
played. Indeed, in many groups of smaller than eight people some
members need to play more than one role, switching between roles
according to the needs of the team and the task. Changing roles from
time to time is not only possible, but sometimes necessary as we change
jobs and teams. Having said this, most people do tend to have a preferred
first role, one that they feel most comfortable with. Can you recognise
from the descriptions and characteristics which role you would tend to
feel comfortable with? Could you manage to play any of the other roles
without too much of a problem?

Source : The Open University Copyright 2012. All rights

reserved. - tel +44 (0) 845 300 60 90

COMPARE:
TEAM WORK TASK ROLES

1. Team Initiator
Starts the discussion
Introduces new topic or issue
Gets team moving

2. Seeker of Information
Asks others in the team to clarify or share information

3. Giver of Information
Shares knowledge with the team
Offers facts, opinions, and relative experiences

4. Challenger
Questions the teams thinking to generate higher quality results
Plays devils advocate
Asks what if questions

1329
Thinks critically about input and urges team to consider different
points of view

5. Coordinator
Helps to clarify group ideas and suggestions
Makes connections which can advance the problem solving process

6. Evaluator
Compares teams work to standards for the purpose of producing the
best possible results
7. Completion Advocate
Reminds group about unfinished business and the need for follow up

8. Summary Associate
Summarizes what has been decided or accomplished at the meeting

9. Secretary
Takes notes and records ideas and decisions of the team

10. Time-Keeper
Keeps team on task in terms of time available and tasks remaining

11. Task Master

Reminds team when the discussion has gone off task
Refocuses the team to the task at hand

12. Procedure Development

Develops procedure or methods of accomplishing the task.

Source: UNIVERSITY OF TENNESSEE CENTER FOR LITERACY STUDIES

1330
TEAM WORK - KEY ELEMENTS
1. CommitmentCommitment happens when the team members see
themselves as belonging to the team instead of as individuals acting on
their own initiative. Also, commitment is evident when the team
members are committed to the team goals over and above their own
personal goals.

2. TrustWhen team members have faith that each member will honor
their commitments, support each other, share and maintain confidences,
and act in a responsible manner, trust is nurtured and exhibited.

3. PurposeIt is important for teams to understand how they fit into

the overall organizational picture of a business. And, equally important,
team members must know their individual roles, feel a sense of pride
and ownership of the project and recognize that their contribution can
make a difference.

4. CommunicationStrong teams are those that exercise effective

communication among members, as well as between group members
and those outside the team. Members must be able to handle conflict,
practice effective Group decision-making and work toward smooth day-
to-day interactions.

5. InvolvementTeam members each have an integral part on the

team. Their contributions are respected and solicited, and they establish
a real consensus before committing the team to action. Though
differences in opinion are bound to occur, team members must feel a
partnership with each other and respect
those differences.

6. ProcessEffective teams possess proficient use of problem solving

skills, the ability to plan, attend regular meetings complete with meeting
agendas and minutes of the meetings, and use protocol to deal with
problems.

1331
4.38 ANGER MANAGEMENT
Pages for people who want to have healthy anger
Everybody knows that anger can be a problem, a bad thing, and can
even lead to violence. But, how many people know that anger is a
healthy emotion, but that the real problem is that most people don't
know how to use it?
Here's the deal...
Anger is either your worst enemy or
your best friend. You get to choose!
Anger comes from pain, sorrow, fear and
the need for love.
Anger seems powerful, but it's not--
unless it's healthy!
Healthy anger comes from love, truth
and a strong sense of justice.
Healthy anger is motivation,
determination, enthusiasm and commitment to
do the right thing!
Healthy anger is smart, cool and effective!
With healthy anger, nobody gets hurt!
Healthy anger fuels effective action!

Become an anger management expert !

Hang in there with this, and you will find an incredible amount of energy,
enthusiasm and excitement available to you to reach all of your goals and
become the amazing person you were born to be!
Healthy anger is based on self-love, and it does not harm anyone.
Healthy anger is for the purpose of protecting you and keeping you
safe.
Healthy anger fuels effective action!

1332
Here are some thoughts for you to consider:
You are a good person, and you are worthy of being treated with
respect.
No one has the right to hurt you physically, sexually, emotionally
or mentally. Of course we all get hurt somewhat in our love
relationships--however, if the harm is being done intentionally
and it keeps happening, that's another thing. That means you are in
an abusive relationship.
You are not alone. There are thousands of people all over the
country devoted to helping people just like you. Learn more and
get some excellent advice.
If you are having anger management problems of your own, you
probably need to learn anger management techniques yourself --
especially if you are sometimes abusive to your partner yourself!

Are you ready to take effective action?

If you know you're in an abusive relationship, but you're afraid to do
anything, here is the help you need:
Tell your story, and get some support from other people.
Raise your self esteem by reading books or listening to programs
that help you heal emotionally and truly love yourself -- because you
are your best anger management resource.
If you're married or planning to marry, be sure and learn about
Expectations In Marriage and Sacred Roles In Marriage to solve your
marriage problems and create the best possible relationship you
can!
Never, ever give up on yourself!
It is never hopeless, no matter how bad it may seem.
You have the courage and the good heart to do what must be done

1333
12 Anger Management Techniques To Get You Started
1. Breathe deep and take long breaths. Be sure to open your belly and
breathe deep into your abdomen. You may not know it, but when you're
angry you're actually panicking. Using this and other anger management
techniques will also help you to relax and calm down.
2. Walk outside and look at the sky while you're doing your deep
breathing. This will help you to put things in perspective, and it can have
a soothing effect.
3. Do some stretches. When you're angry your body gets tense and rigid.
The stretching will open up some of the tight areas of your body and get
more oxygen flowing to your brain and help you think more clearly.
Physical exercise of any kind is one the best anger management
techniques you can use.
4. Tell yourself it's going to be OK. Talking to yourself in a soothing,
calming way is one of the best anger management techniques. Say to
yourself, "Something good will come from this. I need to make good
decisions now so that I don't add to the problem. I've gotten through
tough times before, and I'll get through this one. I know that deep down
I'm a good person who means well."
5. Get some paper and start writing. Write about how mad you are and
why. Don't be nice, reasonable or rational in your writing. The point of
this particular one of the anger management techniques is to get your
anger out on the paper and purge it from your mind. Keep writing until
you feel some relief or release, and don't stop until you do.
6. Write about what you have to be grateful for, what you appreciate
about your life, your self and the person you are mad at (if you can).
Gratitude, appreciation and optimism are some of your most important
and powerful anger management techniques. You may not want to
admit it, but when you're angry you might just be feeling sorry for
yourself, and gratitude is a direct antidote for this. This positive
journaling process is a great healthy alternative to getting revenge and
managing anger.

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7. Imagine that you are at the funeral of the person you are mad at. What
would you say. What would you miss about that person if they were
gone? If your anger is too strong to do this one, skip ahead. You'll know
your anger is too strong if you feel "glad" at the thought of their death,
or if you feel nothing at all.
8. If you know how to pray, then by all means pray. Pray for God to
guide you through this dark time. Pray for the grace to see the beauty
and vulnerability in the person you are mad at. Pray for the wisdom to
see beyond the view of the person or situation that makes you so angry.
Sometimes it really helps to get down on your knees for this. You may
wonder why this is in a list of anger management techniques, but rest
assured that if you use it effectively, it will help you tremendously.
9. Imagine that you are the person you are mad at. Put yourself in their
shoes. This is the power of empathy. Look at the situation from their
viewpoint. Not only is this one of the most powerful anger management
techniques, it will help you in all of your relationships in a variety of
situations. How do you look to the other person when you're angry? Is
that how you want to look? Decide who and how you want to be and act
as if you were that already. Learn more about how to deal with angry
people.
10. Remember a time in your childhood when you were afraid, hurt or
angry. In your imagination, embrace that child, saying "It's okay. I'm
here. You didn't do anything wrong. You're a good kid. I love you just
like you are. I'm not going to leave you." Then take the child (your child
self) out of the situation to a safe place where s/he can relax, heal or
even play.
11. Think about your values. What is the most important thing in the
world to you? Who are the most important people in the world to you?
What kind of person do you want to be? How do you want people to
remember you? Decide that you are that person and you are living by
your values, and act as if it were so. This is one of the fastest of the anger
management techniques, and it puts you in touch with your true nature,
the way you were designed to be.
12. Take further action! Make up your mind right now that you're going to
get to the bottom of your anger management problems and master the
art of controlling anger once and for all. You might decide you also want

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 to schedule some anger management counseling or an anger
management program today!

What to say to an angry person?

A good thing to say is,
1. "Wow! I can see that you are really angry right now. Your anger
seems really strong to me.
2. I'm sure you have good reasons to be angry.
3. It's okay for you to be angry, I just want to help you deal with it so
nobody gets hurt--including you.
"In these and other words, you're sending the message that, "There's
nothing wrong with feeling anger, the important thing is what you
do with it."
This type of acknowledgment and recognition of the emotion of
anger is absolutely necessary in successful anger management.

Practice reflective listening. - Repeat back what you hear them

saying in a non-judgmental, soothing tone.

Use phrases like:

"So what I hear you saying is..." or "So you're saying..." + then say
exactly what you heard them saying.
Stick with their words and references, using as little interpretation
and as few of your own words as possible.
You must show total respect to the teen for this to work. Sarcasm,
cynicism, judgment or insincerity will completely defeat your
purpose. Use an open, friendly posture so that it is clear that you
really want to understand the other.
This provides a comforting effect, and lets the know they're being
heard.
When you listen, you are sending the powerful nonverbal message
that, "What you think and feel matters to me. I may not agree or like
what you say, but I'm willing to listen and consider your viewpoint."
The bottom line here is that if you listen to them, they will listen to
you!

1336
 Express empathy and understanding.
Imagine yourself in their position, and attempt to see things from
their viewpoint.

Use phrases like:

"When I put myself in your shoes, I can see why you would feel that
way," or "From where you stand, it looks like ..." or "I think I see
what you mean" or "That makes sense to me."

Keep in mind that you do this reflective listening and empathy even
if and especially if you don't agree with or like what they are saying!
Avoid teaching, correcting or instructing while your child is angry.
When you are successful with reflective listening and empathy, the
person with anger management issues will usually start to calm
down. Then, and only then you may want to share some of your own
similar experiences. Pay attention to them, and only speak when you
feel certain they open to what you have to say. Otherwise, you're
wasting your breath and probably widening the gap between you.
Claim your authority. It is important that you let them know that you
are in charge of the situation. Parenting skills without authority will
be virtually useless. Adolescents will often try to claim more power
than is good for them. You're not doing them any favors by giving
them more power than they can handle. Adolescents actually feel
more secure when their parents are in charge than they do when
they're allowed to take over. It's scary for a teenager to be more
powerful than the adults around her/him.
Parent discipline however needs to be kept separate from this kind
of communication, and administered when both you and the
youngster are calm. That way the adolscent gets the clear message
that it is not their emotion that is being disciplined, it is their teen
behavior.

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Here are the thoughts, actions and emotions of
unhealthy anger:
Thoughts
"It's not my fault!"
Unhealthy anger means thinking you're a victim to
all "those other people.

"They are bad/evil."

This may be the worst of unhealthy anger. This is
where you're trying to make the other person
really, really bad, so that you don't have to look at
yourself. We've all done this, but it's not cool. This
kind of thinking will only get you in trouble. With good anger
management skills, you will be a lot smarter than this.

"I'm good because I'm not them."

This is what I call a cheap, second-hand form of self-esteem. It's great to
feel good about yourself, but you don't want to do it by dissing
somebody else. You're good just because of who you are. This is positive
anger management for people who want to be smart, strong and
healthy!

Actions
Aggression, attack, violence.
A lot of people think this is what anger is: violence and aggression. But
you know better. Anger is an emotion, and aggression, attack, violence
are actions. Anger is not the problem--it's what you do with it that
makes it healthy or unhealthy! What you're learning here is anger
management for responsible people that prevent aggression and
violence.

Passive-aggressive behavior.
This is where you've got some anger inside, but you're not admitting
it to anyone, even yourself. It's sometimes called "sideways anger," and
it's just not honest. For example, making a cutting joke at someone else's
expense and saying, "Aw, I was just kidding. Don't take it personally." or,
"You're too sensitive. I didn't mean anything by it." Healthy anger
management means that you're responsible for what you do,
regardless of what you might have intended.

1338
 Depression and illness.
This is what happens if you are really good at stuffing your anger, and
never let it out. Anger is a powerful emotion. When it comes out in
unhealthy ways, it hurts others. When it just stays inside you, it hurts
you.
When it comes out in healthy ways it is good for everybody. When it
is successful, this is the kind of anger management for people who want
to be who they were born to be and live their dreams!

Emotions
Victim feeling.
A lot of people don't get this, but when you're all bent out of shape and
yelling and going off about something, you might seem tough or scary --
but you're secretly feeling like a victim. Why? You're mad at somebody
for what they said, did or who they are, and you're not taking any
responsibility for your own part of the situation. With good anger
management skills, you will never be a victim again! Expressing anger in
healthy ways will make you strong.

Nursing wounds.
This is a kind of self-pity. If you're real angry (in
an unhealthy way), then you're busy pointing to
your wounds: how you were done wrong by the
person you're mad at. This actually can keep
you from healing! If you need your pain and
suffering to show how bad the other person is,
you can't let your own wounds heal. This can
lead to violence scenarios. Violent people are
frequently feeling like victims, nursing their
wounds and blaming others for them. Healthy
anger management means everybody heals.

Helplessness/powerlessness.
Here's the big secret. Extreme unhealthy anger --especially when it
means hurting others on purpose-- comes from a feeling of helplessness
and powerlessness. Unhealthy anger might seem strong, but it's
totally a sign of weakness.

1339
Here are the thoughts, actions and emotions of healthy
anger:
Thoughts
"They are responsible for their actions." That's right. If someone did
something that triggered your anger, they are totally responsible for what
they did. But they are not responsible for how you felt about what they did!
That's your deal. This is positive, smart, healthy anger management for
teens.
"I'm responsible for my reactions." No matter what somebody does,
they don't "make you mad." You either get angry or you don't, and that is
your responsibility completely. What's cool about this is that responsibility
gives you freedom! If you think somebody "made you mad," then you're
saying they made your heart race and set your blood boiling and made you
think all those thoughts racing through your head. Nope, that's you doing
that. Other people might push your buttons, but you're in charge of the
wiring behind those buttons! This is the kind of anger management for
people who want to be the boss of their own emotions.
"How can I get stronger, smarter and safer from this?" Here's the
freedom that comes with taking responsibility! You take a look at the
situation, and say to yourself, "How can I make this work for me?" Then
you look for ways to make that happen.
Actions
Find healthy emotional release. This is sooo
important! When you're feeling angry, you don't
want to just hold that inside--it becomes toxic and
it'll make you sick or crazy! Getting outside, working
out, talking to a friend or writing in a journal will
help. You want to get that anger out into some
fresh air, and get some fresh perspective on it, so it
doesn't go sour and make you bitter!

Use a spiritual practice for focus and healing.

If it works for you and your beliefs, prayer can really
help for getting clear and chilling when you're angry. If you're a member of a
church, it might give you some comfort and release to just go and hang out
there or talk to one of your church leaders. You're the one who knows if
this will work for you as part of your anger management skills.

1340
 Taking powerful effective action to make things better. This is the
best choice of all. Brainstorm with a smart friend, parent or coach about
some healthy action you can take to improve the situation that triggered
your anger. You may even find that you want to become a teacher of anger
management for teens!
Emotions
Power/strength This is what is so amazing about healthy anger
management for teens. It actually feels good! When you know you're not
going to do anything destructive, it helps you focus your emotional
energy toward what you want to accomplish and it can bring on feelings of
enthusiasm and even excitement! Think of the physical strength and energy
of anger, and imagine having tons of that to channel in positive,
constructive ways!
Release/relief Ahhhh.....It feels so good to
release anger in healthy ways! Nobody gets
hurt, and you feel powerful, strong and
relaxed. Remember, anger is a healthy
emotion--you just need to direct it toward
positive, constructive or at least non-
destructive action for successful teenage anger
management. When you're getting your anger out in healthy ways, you can
really let go, which is what gives you the sense of release and relief. If
you're taking your anger out on yourself or another person, you have to hold
back to keep from hurting them too bad, so you don't get the release and
relief you want.

Forgiveness/acceptance This is the final stage of the teenage anger

management process--don't try to rush it! Forgiveness is something that
comes from your body, not your mind, when you learn to love yourself. You
can decide you want to forgive, but your heart and gut may not be ready.
Your body never lies, and it is your body--that is, your heart and gut--that
really do the forgiving.

1341
Anger Management Assessment
Please answer the following 15 questions to the best of your ability. Your
answers will be used to identify your strengths and weaknesses as it
relates to how well you manage your anger. This FREE assessment is for
educational purposes only.
Please answer each question with a single answer. After you have
completed the assessment, press the Submit Answers button and we will
instantly show you your assessment results.

1. During the past week, I have felt irritable and frustrated with others.

Almost Almost
Rarely Sometimes Frequently
Never Always

2. When I get angry I often regret my actions and behaviors

Almost Almost
Rarely Sometimes Frequently
Never Always

3. I have broken or destroyed objects in anger and rage on more than one occasion

Almost Almost
Rarely Sometimes Frequently
Never Always

4. I get irritated with people that dont agree with my views or opinions

Almost Almost
Rarely Sometimes Frequently
Never Always

5. When I get angry it is often intense and lasts longer than I would like

Almost Almost
Rarely Sometimes Frequently
Never Always

6. I have done very little to improve my temper. I just keep hoping it will improve with age.

Almost Almost
Rarely Sometimes Frequently
Never Always

7. I often have a hard time knowing or understanding how others feel or how my behavior
might be affecting them

Almost Almost
Rarely Sometimes Frequently
Never Always
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8. My internal dialog is often negative and I often tell myself how stupid I am or other are

Almost Almost
Rarely Sometimes Frequently
Never Always

9. I often feel mistreated by others

Almost Almost
Rarely Sometimes Frequently
Never Always

10. I often feel stress out, pressured or in a hurry

Almost Almost
Rarely Sometimes Frequently
Never Always

11. I often get enraged when driving.

Almost Almost
Rarely Sometimes Frequently
Never Always

12. Others have made mention to me that my behavior is often hostile or scary

Almost Almost
Rarely Sometimes Frequently
Never Always

13. My disagreements often turn into fights or loud arguments with others

Almost Almost
Rarely Sometimes Frequently
Never Always

14. I like to use drugs or alcohol when I am feeling stressed out or frustrated

Almost Almost
Rarely Sometimes Frequently
Never Always

15. When things dont go my way, I often get depressed or anxious.

Almost Almost
Rarely Sometimes Frequently
Never Always

The Anger Test II

It's easy! Just get a slip of paper, or use your computer notepad, and
write, "Yes" or "No" in response to each question. Ready? Let's get
started!
1) Are you someone who "never gets angry?"
2) Do other people think you're angry?
1343
3) Are you a teen looking for anger management for yourself?
4) Do you find yourself often saying, "I'm not angry!"
5) Are you critical of other people in your mind and thoughts?
6) Do you criticize and/or insult others when you speak to them?
7) Do you blame others for your unhappiness or misfortune?
8) Do you frequently lose patience with people or situations?
9) Do you have a hard time putting yourself in another person's shoes
during a disagreement?
10) Do you sometimes yell or raise your voice to get your point across?
11) Do you feel you have uncontrolled anger or a bad temper?
12) Do you find yourself frequently in arguments?
13) Do you find yourself in abusive relationships?
14) Do you think about acts of aggression or violence?
15) Do you notice yourself "looking for a fight?"
16) Have you ever been physically aggressive or violent with another
person?
17) Have you ever been arrested or had the police called because of your
actions?
18) Have you ever been reported for domestic violence?
19) Do you think you may have an anger disorder?
20) Do you take out your frustrations while driving?
21) Would you describe yourself as bitter?
22) Do you find yourself unable to let go of grievances and resentments?
23) Do you replay negative experiences over and over in your mind?
24) Is anger one of your adult add symptoms?
25) Do you feel like other people don't like you or have low self esteem?
26) Do you often think that other people are a bunch of idiots?
27) Do you often feel like nobody understands you?
28) Does it seem to you like other people "just don't get it?"
29) Do you think about getting revenge on others?

875
If you answered "yes" to more than 3 of the questions on this anger test,
you need anger management help.
If you answered "yes" to 10 or more, you need to take action soon, to
prevent serious problems.

Anger Management Worksheets

These anger management worksheets will help you to identify your
anger triggers and find more effective ways to deal with anger.
Identifying what causes your anger and being able to recognize early
your warning signs that you are becoming angry can help you to plan
healthy ways to cope with anger.
What is anger?
Anger is an emotion. It is a signal that we think we are being treated
unfairly.
Feelings are neither right nor wrong. It is okay to feel angry.
Actions can be right or wrong. It is not okay to hurt ourselves, others, or
property when we feel angry.
So how can we deal with anger and act in healthy ways?
1) Recognize anger - know when you are angry and what makes you
angry.
2) Practice positive responses - practice, practice, practice until your
new positive responses become good habits

Quick List of Ways to Cope with Anger

Walk away
Exercise
Talk to someone who you are not feeling angry with
Distract yourself
Count 10 breaths
Write about it

875
Come back and deal with it later when you feel calm

Questions About Your Anger

1. How do you know when you are angry?
2. Where in your body do you feel anger? List your physical signs of
being angry.
3. What is the first sign of anger you notice? List your early warning
signs that tell you when you are starting to become angry.
4. What makes you angry? List all the things you can think of... all the
way from small annoyances to big problems.

875
Symptoms of Anger
How do you know when you are angry? All of us have symptoms of anger
physical and mental signs that tell us we are angry.

Physical Signs Irritability

Short tempered
Fast heart beat
Sweating
Shaking
Clenched jaws
Clenched fists
Fast breathing
Headaches Other signs
Stomach aches
Upset feeling in Yelling
the stomach Swearing
Tight chest Withdrawing
Tense muscles from others
Frowning, Throwing things
scowling Pacing
Red face
Mental Signs

Problems
concentrating
Confusion
Memory
problems
Thoughts of
doing harm
Angry thoughts
How You Handle Anger
1. How do you usually react when you feel angry?
2. Think about the last time you reacted in an unhealthy or negative way
to anger. What happened right before you got angry?
875
3. How did you react?
4. How did you feel after you reacted?
5. What could you have done instead?
6. What would happen if you were to react in a more positive way?

A Plan for Dealing With Anger

1. Make a plan. Write down one of the situations from your anger scale
(see anger management worksheets PDF document). Choose one that
causes you to feel a little angry. Describe how you would like to react in
the future to this situation.
2. Choose a situation near the top of your anger scale (see anger
management worksheets PDF document). Describe how you would like
to react to a situation like this.
3. What negative behavior do you most want to avoid when you
experience anger?
4. What will you do instead?
5. What will you do when you experience your early warning signs of
anger?
6. How will you handle situations when you feel very angry?

Practice positive reactions to everyday stresses

Walk away instead of reacting in anger. Its okay to stomp your feet if
you need to!
Exercise. This helps get rid of the physical energy that is built up by
anger.
Talk to someone who you are not feeling angry with. Phone a friend,
relative, or professional. Tell them about what happened and how you
are feeling.

1344
Distract yourself. Do something you enjoy, like reading, TV, music,
games, going to the store, cooking a meal.... and take your mind off the
anger. Come back and deal with it when you are feeling calmer.
Count 10 breaths. The reasons for counting your breaths are: 1) to calm
and relax you by breathing more deeply and 2) to pause for a few
moments instead of reacting automatically.
Write about it. Get your feelings and thoughts out on paper instead of
confronting the source of your anger right away.
Deal with it when you feel calm. Get away from the situation, and come
back later. You will react more positively.
The more practice you get at reacting in positive ways, waiting until the
anger goes down a little before responding, and learning new habits, the
more easily you will be able to manage anger.
Relaxation to Deal with Anger: Free Relaxation Script
This guided relaxation script describes how to deal with anger quickly
and effectively in the moment. Guides you in controlling anger and
managing anger when it arises.
It's time to take a break.... and relax.... to deal with anger in a healthy,
productive way.
Anger is a normal and natural emotion, and there is nothing wrong with
having feelings - you are human, after all. You have the power to decide
how to deal with this emotion you are experiencing.
Anger management does not mean holding anger in. It does not mean
that you will never feel angry. Anger management is managing the
behavioral responses that can arise when you are feeling angry.
All you really need to do right now is take a few moments just to relax,
for you, to help you feel relaxed and calm. It feels good to relax. After
this short relaxation session is over, you can proceed with your day, and
react in a way that you choose.... relaxing for a moment now will help
you to react calmly, rather than acting out of emotion.

1345
It's okay to be angry. Just allow yourself to feel however it is you are
feeling right now, noticing this feeling, but not reacting just yet. All
you're doing is observing. Emotions are neither right nor wrong... they
just are.
Take a deep breath in. Hold for a moment, and now breathe out.
Breathe in... hold that tension.... and now breathe out.... feeling the
tension release with your breath.
Breathe in.... and out....... / in..... out.....
Keep breathing like this, slowly.... deeply.... and let your body relax a
little.
Turn your attention again to how you are feeling. Notice the physical
sensation of anger. Where in your body is the anger stored? Some
people notice that they tighten their shoulders when they are feeling
angry. Others who deal with anger notice clenched fists or tight jaws.
Anger may be experienced as a feeling in the stomach.... the neck.... any
one or a number of places in the body demonstrate physical symptoms
of anger.
Many of these physical symptoms are uncomfortable. Some of these
symptoms can be relieved right now, if you like, by relaxing your
muscles. Let's relax a few areas to begin this process to deal with anger
by relaxing your muscles.
Starting with your hands and arms, first tighten your hands into fists.
Feel the tension in your hands and arms. Hold.... tighter.... tighter.... and
relax. Let go, allowing your hands and arms to be relaxed, loose, and
limp. Notice the difference between tension and relaxation.
Now see if you can create a feeling of relaxation in your shoulders. Take
a moment to relax your shoulders now. You may choose to tighten the
muscles, and then relax, or you can simply relax your shoulders without
tensing them first. Do whatever seems to work the best.

1346
Focus now on your face and jaws. Relax your face and jaws, tensing first
if you want to. Let all the tension leave your face..... let the tension leave
your jaws.... leaving your face and jaws limp, smooth, and relaxed.
Scan your body now, for remaining areas of tension. Relax each area
that feels tense.... scan your body from head to toe.... relaxing each part
of your body.
(pause)
Take note of how you are feeling now. Physically. Emotionally.
You are controlling anger right now, just by the fact that you have not
yet reacted with angry behaviors. You have chosen to relax, to deal with
anger in a healthy way.
To increase the control you have over anger, you may want to repeat
some affirmations to help create realistic, rational thinking.... also called
self-control thoughts.
Here are 5 affirmations for anger management to help deal with anger:
I acknowledge that I am feeling angry right now, and accept the way I
feel.
I have the power to control my reactions.
I can fully experience this anger, yet wait before I take action.
I can feel angry, but calm and in control at the same time.
It's okay to feel angry.
Notice again how you are feeling. Physically, how are you feeling? Let
your body relax a little more... relaxing any tense areas.
Emotionally, how are you feeling? See how emotions come and go....
anger can come and go.... it will not last forever. There is a limited time
where you exercise self-control, before the anger is no longer an issue.
You may feel less angry... just as angry... or more angry now than you
were at the beginning of this relaxation session.

1347
To deal with anger that may remain, you may need a way to express the
anger and get it out. You do not have to keep your emotions inside... you
can choose how to express them.
You can let anger out by breathing deeply.... breathing in relaxation, and
breathing out anger.... letting anger go with each breath.
There are other ways to express anger, too. You can do any of these
activities after this script to allow yourself freedom to express the anger
you experienced. Physical exercise, journaling, talking to someone you
trust.... there are many ways to express yourself.
After the anger has decreased and you are feeling calm, you might want
to address the situation that was upsetting by taking action to change
the situation, or speaking to the person you were upset with. Or you
may just choose to let the situation go.
Once your anger has decreased you can choose whatever option seems
best. You have the right to feel a range of emotions, including anger, and
to express these emotions in healthy ways that you choose.
I'll conclude this script with some breathing.
Take a deep breath in.... and out.....
in..... out.... relaxing with each breath / in..... out.... / in..... out....
Keep breathing deeply to deal with anger and feel relaxed and calm.
Congratulate yourself for dealing with anger with relaxation.
I'll count now from 5 to 1. Imagine that right now, you are at a 5, and
that when I reach 1 you will be feeling awake and alert, yet calm,
peaceful, and relaxed.

1348
4.38 ANGER MANAGEMENT PARTII
Can you recall the last time you were really angry at someone? So much
so that you were physically shaken just at the thought of them? Rarely
does this feeling of anger help us in getting what we want. Often, it will
work against us, resulting in more pain, unnecessarily.
Even the most gentle of personalities can temporarily turn into a
vindictive rascal, if pushed far enough.
A friend of mine is going through a divorce with a spouse who is
unreasonably prolonging the process. Hes sad, hurt, upset, frustrated
and very, very angry. Words of anger and hatred spout out of his
otherwise polite and thoughtful mouth. He was no longer his authentic
and peaceful self. And he didnt like who he was becoming.
Through helping him come to a place of understanding and forgiveness
of his ex-spouse with love, compassion and humility (we had to dig
deep), I realized that the same tools can be used in dealing with other
negative emotions.
For sake of simplicity, we will use anger as the target emotion to
overcome. Keep in mind that these same tools can be applied to
overcome other non-conducive and intense emotions such as jealousy,
guilt, hatred, regret and fear.
Why Do We Feel Like Crap?
Its amazing how much emotion
a little mental concept like my can generate.
- Eckhart Tolle
Anger doesnt feel very good. Its pretty gross, actually. Our stomach
tightens-up, we become sweaty, we react instead of act in survival
mode. And anger clouds our judgment causing us to respond wildly out
of emotion. Weve all been there. Sometimes, it can get so intense that
we tremble passionately while feeling strong hate towards other

1349
people. And when we cool down, we would wonder how we allowed
ourselves to get in such a messed up state in the first place.
The answer is: Very easily. Allow me to explain.
Emotion is our bodys response to a thought, which could be triggered
by an external situation. But this situation is seen through the lens of
our own interpretation. Our lens is colored by the mental concepts
unique to each of us; concepts like good and bad, mine and yours, like
and dislike, right and wrong. Keep in mind we all have different lenses,
thus interpretation conflicts are inevitable.
For example, we feel very little emotion when someone else loses their
wallet. But when it is our own money, we suddenly feel pain and the
desire to hoard it back to us.
The moment weve labeled something as mine, we will experience
mental distress when weve interpreted that we have lost it or are at
the risk of losing it. Whether it is my wallet, my pride, my money, my
house, my car, my job, my child, my stocks, my feelings or my dog, as
long as we feel that it is lost or threatened, we will experience pain in
the form of anger or other strong negative emotions.
We experience pain, because we have been trained since children to
believe that the things which we have labeled as mine, are something
that define who we are. Weve identified with it and falsely believed that
if we lost it, or face losing it, we lose ourselves. Suddenly, our ego has
nothing to identify itself by. Who are we? This hurts our ego
tremendously.
In our minds, we feel entitled to more, whether it is more money, or
more respect, or a better job, or a larger house. Amongst it all, we fail to
see that our mind will always want more. Greed is a highly addictive
state of mind, always growing, blinding us of reality, while convincing
us that were doing a reasonable thing.

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Common Ingredients of Anger:
Unfairness We believe that we have been treated unfairly. We tell
ourselves that we deserve more, and we buy into this story that
someone has wronged us.
Lost - We feel that we have lost something that we have identified
ourselves with. Feelings, pride, money, car, job.
Blame We blame other people or external situations for having
caused our loss, for taking advantage of us unfairly. The blame often
only resides in our heads and is a product of our imagination. We fail
to see things from other peoples perspectives. We become deeply
selfish.
Pain - We experience pain, mental distress, and anxiety. The pain
causes physical responses in our body, which disturbs our natural
energy flow and state of wellbeing.
Focus - We focus on the thing we dont want, and energize it by
complaining about it passionately, and repeating it to as many
people who will listen. This creates a downward spiral of anger.
What we focus on expands, this is true regardless of the emotion.
The interesting thing is that if there are two angry people unhappy with
each other, both people feel a sense of loss, unfairness, pain and the
need to blame the other person. Who is right? The answer is: both are
right and both are wrong.
Why Should We Bother with Overcoming Anger?
Negative emotions like anger kick us into survival mode, as if saying to
our body, we are in danger. There is a physiological change that takes
place in our body to prepare us for fight or flight. These physical
responses disrupt the natural flow of energy in our body affecting our
heart, immune system, digestion and hormone production. A negative
emotion is therefore toxic to the body and interferes with its
harmonious functioning and balance.

1351
Photo: Gabrielle Hennessey
Prolonged anger, stress and holding grudges will hurt our adrenal gland
and immune system. For women, stress on the adrenal gland can affect
the reproductive organs (uterus, ovaries) causing them to exhibit
abnormal behaviors, potentially resulting in sterility.
Arent your physical and mental health worth more than the mental
pressure you are voluntarily piling onto yourself? Is it worth it to react
out of spiteful emotions and hurt feelings, so that we might temporarily
satisfy our pride?
Anger also clouds our judgment and we become consumed with
problems and pain. Instead of cutting ourselves loose, free from the self-
inflicted pain; we make irrational, unreasonable, regretful and hurtful
decisions. In the case of divorces, the legal fees alone can drain ones
savings, unnecessarily leaving both parties unhappy and poor. Nobody
wins!
The Fundamentals of Change
Notice how quickly we can fall into a negative state of being? A split
second, maybe. By the same reasoning it should take us the same
amount of time to shift into a resourceful state of being. The challenge
here is that we have been conditioned from a very young age to remain
in an un-resourceful state. Nobody gave us the tools to shift our state
into a positive one. Often, our parents didnt know how, and still do not
know how.

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When negative feelings arise, we have two choices,
1. To follow the habitual pattern weve learned since we were young,
to react and allow the negativity to consume us.
2. Or, to interrupt the pattern we have been conditioned to follow, and
in doing so build new neural pathways that allows for alternative
possibilities.
There are essentially three ways to interrupt a behavioral pattern:
Visual - Change your thoughts.
Verbal Change your language.
Kinesthetic Change your physical position.

15 Ways to Overcome Anger

Some of these tools might be more effective for some of us than others.
For me, Look Up!! has been the most effective (thus, Im listing it first).
Ive also seen good results where several of these are used in
combination.

Photo: Simn Pais-Thomas

1. Look Up!!!
The fastest way to change negative feelings is by changing our physical
position right away. The easiest way to physically change is by moving
our eye position. When we are in a negative state, we are likely looking

1353
down. Suddenly looking up (into our visual plane) will interrupt the
negative patterns of sinking into the quick sand of bad feelings.
Any sudden physical change will do the trick:
Stand up and stretch while letting out an audible sigh.
Exaggerate and change your facial expressions.
Walk over to a window where there is sunlight.
Do 10 jumping jacks.
Do a ridiculous dance that pokes fun at you.
Massage the back of your neck with one hand while singing happy
birthday.
Try this next time you feel a negative or unpleasant thought come up.
2. What Do You Want?
Sit down and write down exactly what it is that you want out of the
current situation. Your job is to describe the end result you would like
to see. Be clear, realistic and fair. Be specific with your description.
Including dates of when you would like to see the results.
Once you have this clearly mapped out, and when you find yourself
drifting into negative thoughts of what you dont want, you can shift
your focus on this list instead.
Also, when we do this exercise consciously, well come to find that the
arbitrary and materialistic things that we thought we wanted, arent
want we want, after all. Clarity is a beautiful thing.
3. Eliminate: Dont, Not, No
Words such as Dont, Not, No, Cant gets us focused on the things that
we dont want. Language is a powerful thing and can influence our
subconscious mind, and ultimately our feelings. When you catch
yourself using a negated word, see if you can replace it with another
word of opposing meaning. Example: instead of saying I dont want
war, say I want peace.

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4. Finding the Light
Darkness can only be eliminated when there is light (like a lamp, or
sunlight). In the same way, negative things can only be replaced by
positive things. Remember that regardless of what is happening to us
externally, or how bad things appear in our mind, we always have the
choice to speak and see things positively.
I know this is harder to do when youre in midst of heated emotions, but
Im a big believer that there is something to be learned from every
situation we encounter. Look for the lesson. Find something about the
situation that youve gained, whether its a material possession or an
understanding or a personal growth. Find the light so you can uncover
the darkness of your mind.
5. Surrender
Surrender to our egos need to be right, to blame, to be spiteful, and to
be revengeful. Surrender to the moment. Surrender to the pull to
become worked-up by the situation.
Become mindful. Watch your thoughts and learn to separate your
thoughts from your own identity. Your thoughts are not you.
Things will play out regardless of whether we become emotional or not.
Trust that the universe will work its course and do its job. By not
surrendering, we get worked up for nothing, and our body will suffer as
a result of it.
6. Circle of Influence
When we are feeling down, its easy to be sucked into the downward
spiral of bad feelings. It really doesnt help to be around others
complaining about the same issues. Its counter-productive to getting
well.
Instead, find a group of people with a positive outlook. When we are
around such a group of people, they will remind us of things we already
know deep within us, we can start to recognize the good, and the

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positives. When we are down, we can draw energy from them in order
to rise above the problem and negative state.
In the same way that being around negative people can affect you in a
negative way, being around happy and optimistic people can raise our
awareness, and help us move out of the un-resourceful state.
7. Gratitude Exercise
Find an uninterrupted space, and bring a notepad and pen with you. List
out (in as much detail) everything you are grateful for in your life, either
in the past, or present; either experiences, relationships, friendships,
opportunities or material possessions. Fill up the page, and use as many
pages as you have things to be thankful for. Be sure to thank your heart
and your body.
This is a simple, yet underestimated tool to help us focus our attention
on what matters. This exercise can also shift our state of mind from one
of a lower frequency to that of a higher frequency. It also helps us to
gain clarity and to remind ourselves that we have much to be thankful
for.
No matter how bad things get, we always, always have things to be
grateful for. If anything, we have the opportunity of life, in which we
have the freedom to grow, to learn, to help others, to create, to
experience, to love.
Ive also found it particularly effective to add silent meditation for 5-10
minutes prior, and visualizing everything on your gratitude list after the
gratitude exercise. Try it for yourself!
8. Meditation
Meditation is training for the mind; to calm the noise in our mental
space, to lower our thought count, to draw out inner wisdom, and
mostly it helps us to recognize and remain anchored in our divine state.
Regardless of what is happening external to us, we have the capacity to
remain centered, in a state of acceptance, of flow, of peace, and of love.
When we are in this state, we are rational and have the clarity we need

1356
to handle any situation with grace, and with minimal stress on our body.
9. Breathing Relaxation Techniques
Most of us are shallow breathers, and air only stays in the top of our
lungs. Deep breathing exercises will get more oxygen into our brains,
and into the rest of our body. Try this:
Sit up straight in your chair, or stand up.
Loosen up clothing, especially if your stomach feels tight.
Inhale through your nose. Exhale through your mouth.
Put one hand on your abdominal area (over your belly).
When you inhale, feel your hand expanding as air is filled up in your
diaphragm.
When you exhale, feel your hand retracting to the initial placement.
Count in your mind the number of inhales and exhales, and
gradually level them off such that both take equal counts.
Slowly, add a count to your exhale.
Keep adding a count to your exhale until the count for exhales
doubles that of the count for inhales.
Repeat this breathing rhythm for 5 to 10 times.
Keep your eyes closed in silence for a few minutes afterwards.
10. Laughter!
We cannot laugh and be upset at the same time. When we make the
physical movement required to laugh or smile, we instantly feel light-
hearted and joyful.
Try it now: give me that beautiful smile of yours. I want a genuine and
large smile now! J How do you feel? Do you feel an instant jolt of joy?
Did you temporarily forget about your problems?
List out a series of movies that make you laugh and stock them up at
home. Or meet up with a humorous friend who can really get you
laughing. For my friend going through the divorce, I prescribed Episode

1357
10 of Survivor Gabon, he laughed until his stomach hurt and told me
the next day that he slept very well, without once thinking about the
negativity that would otherwise trigger anger.
11. Forgiveness

Photo: Cindy Loughridge

For my little vindictive rascals out there, I know the idea to forgive your
enemy sounds counter-intuitive. The longer you hold on to the grudge,
the more painful emotions you will experience, the more turbulence you
are putting on your body, the more damage you are inflicting on your
long-term health and wellness.
Unable to forgive someone is like drinking poison and expecting the
other person to die. And theres no way around it.
12. Snap a Rubber Band
Wear an elastic/rubber band around your wrist, at all times. Every time
you find yourself having a thought that would lead to a downward
negative cycle, snap the rubber band. It might sting a little. But this
actually trains our mind to avoid triggering those thoughts. Pain is an
amazing motivator.

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13. Identify and Eliminate Your Triggers
Sit down and brainstorm a list of reminders and activities that will
trigger this negative emotion in us. It might be hearing the word
divorce, or someones name, or going to a particular restaurant.
Commit to yourself to eliminate the mentioning of these triggers from
your life. If we know something will upset us, why would we bother
triggering it?
14. Identify What Anger Brings
List all the things that youve gained as a result of being angry. When
youre done, go down this list and count the number of positive things
that are actually conducive to your wellbeing. By the way, making the
other person suffer and feel pain does not count as conducive to your
wellbeing.
This exercise helps us bring more awareness, rationality and clarity into
the situation.
15. Seek Closure. Solve the Problem
To the best of your ability, do not drag anything on for the sake of
winning or being right; its not healthy for anyone involved.
Just because we surrender to the external events and choose not to give
them any more attention, does not mean that we sit back passively to let
others step all over us.
Take action that will help you move onto the next step, and closer to
resolution. Be proactive and thoughtful. The faster you can get the
problem resolved, the quicker you can set yourself free, mentally.

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4.39 LEADERSHIP STYLES
There are a number of different approaches, or 'styles' to leadership
and management that are based on different assumptions and theories.
The style that individuals use will be based on a combination of their
beliefs, values and preferences, as well as the organizational culture and
norms which will encourage some styles and discourage others.
Charismatic Leadership
Participative Leadership
Situational Leadership
Transactional Leadership
Transformational Leadership
The Quiet Leader
Servant Leadership
Additional research
The Managerial Grid: Blake and Mouton's people-task balance.
Lewin's leadership styles: Three original styles.
Likert's leadership styles: from autocratic to participative.
Six Emotional Leadership Styles: from 'Mr. Emotional Intelligence',
Daniel Goleman and friends.
Negative styles
There are some relatively common styles of management that are
anything but models of good leadership.
Post-hoc Management: A poor, but common style.
Micromanagement: Controls every detail.
Seagull Management: Flying in, pooping on you and flying off again.
Mushroom Management: Drop them in the poo and keep them in the
dark.
Kipper management: Two-faced approach.

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Charismatic Leadership
Assumptions
Charm and grace are all that is needed to create followers.
Self-belief is a fundamental need of leaders.
People follow others that they personally admire.
Style
The Charismatic Leader gathers followers through dint of personality
and charm, rather than any form of external power or authority.
The searchlight of attention
It is interesting to watch a Charismatic Leader 'working the room' as
they move from person to person. They pay much attention to the
person they are talking to at any one moment, making that person feel
like they are, for that time, the most important person in the world.
Charismatic Leaders pay a great deal of attention in scanning and
reading their environment, and are good at picking up the moods and
concerns of both individuals and larger audiences. They then will hone
their actions and words to suit the situation.
Pulling all of the strings
Charismatic Leaders use a wide range of methods to manage their
image and, if they are not naturally charismatic, may practice
assiduously at developing their skills. They may engender trust through
visible self-sacrifice and taking personal risks in the name of their
beliefs. They will show great confidence in their followers. They are
very persuasive and make very effective use of body language as well as
verbal language.
Deliberate charisma is played out in a theatrical sense, where the leader
is 'playing to the house' to create a desired effect. They also make
effective use of storytelling, including the use of symbolism and
metaphor.

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Many politicians use a charismatic style, as they need to gather a large
number of followers. If you want to increase your charisma, studying
videos of their speeches and the way they interact with others is a great
source of learning. Religious leaders, too, may well use charisma, as do
cult leaders.
Leading the team
Charismatic Leaders who are building a group, whether it is a political
party, a cult or a business team, will often focus strongly on making the
group very clear and distinct, separating it from other groups. They will
then build the image of the group, in particular in the minds of their
followers, as being far superior to all others.
The Charismatic Leader will typically attach themselves firmly to the
identify of the group, such that to join the group is to become one with
the leader. In doing so, they create an unchallengeable position for
themselves.
Alternative views
The description above is purely based on charisma and takes into
account varying moral positions. Other descriptions tend to assume a
more benevolent approach.
Conger & Kanungo (1998) describe five behavioral attributes of
Charismatic Leaders that indicate a more transformational viewpoint:
Vision and articulation;
Sensitivity to the environment;
Sensitivity to member needs;
Personal risk taking;
Performing unconventional behaviour.

Musser (1987) notes that charismatic leaders seek to instil both

commitment to ideological goals and also devotion to themselves. The
extent to which either of these two goals is dominant depends on the
underlying motivations and needs of the leader.

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Discussion
The Charismatic Leader and the Transformational Leader can have
many similarities, in that the Transformational Leader may well be
charismatic. Their main difference is in their basic focus. Whereas the
Transformational Leader has a basic focus of transforming the
organization and, quite possibly, their followers, the Charismatic Leader
may not want to change anything.
Despite their charm and apparent concern, the Charismatic Leader may
well be somewhat more concerned with themselves than anyone else. A
typical experience with them is that whilst you are talking with them, it
is like being bathed in a warm and pleasant glow, in which they are very
convincing. Yet afterwards, ask the sunbeam of their attention is moved
elsewhere, you may begin to question what they said (or even whether
they said anything of significance at all).
The values of the Charismatic Leader are highly significant. If they are
well-intentioned towards others, they can elevate and transform an
entire company. If they are selfish and Machiavellian, they can create
cults and effectively rape the minds (and potentially the bodies) of the
followers.
Their self-belief is so high, they can easily believe that they are infallible,
and hence lead their followers into an abyss, even when they have
received adequate warning from others. The self-belief can also lead
them into psychotic narcissism, where their self-absorption or need for
admiration and worship can lead to their followers questioning their
leadership.
They may also be intolerant of challengers and their irreplaceability
(intentional or otherwise) can mean that there are no successors when
they leave.

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Participative Leadership
Assumptions
Involvement in decision-making improves the understanding of the
issues involved by those who must carry out the decisions.
People are more committed to actions where they have involved in
the relevant decision-making.
People are less competitive and more collaborative when they are
working on joint goals.
When people make decisions together, the social commitment to one
another is greater and thus increases their commitment to the
decision.
Several people deciding together make better decisions than one
person alone.
Style
A Participative Leader, rather than taking autocratic decisions, seeks to
involve other people in the process, possibly including subordinates,
peers, superiors and other stakeholders. Often, however, as it is within
the managers' whim to give or deny control to his or her subordinates,
most participative activity is within the immediate team. The question
of how much influence others are given thus may vary on the manager's
preferences and beliefs, and a whole spectrum of participation is
possible, as in the table below.

< Not participative Highly participative >

Leader
proposes Team proposes
Autocratic Joint decision Full delegation
decision, decision,
decision by with team as of decision to
listens to leader has final
leader equals team
feedback, decision
then decides

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 There are many varieties on this spectrum, including stages where the
leader sells the idea to the team. Another variant is for the leader to
describe the 'what' of objectives or goals and let the team or individuals
decide the 'how' of the process by which the 'how' will be achieved (this
is often called 'Management by Objectives').
The level of participation may also depend on the type of decision being
made. Decisions on how to implement goals may be highly participative,
whilst decisions during subordinate performance evaluations are more
likely to be taken by the manager.
Discussion
There are many potential benefits of participative leadership, as
indicated in the assumptions, above.
This approach is also known as consultation, empowerment, joint
decision-making, democratic leadership, Management By Objective
(MBO) and power-sharing.
Participative Leadership can be a sham when managers ask for opinions
and then ignore them. This is likely to lead to cynicism and feelings of
betrayal.
Transactional Leadership
Assumptions
People are motivated by reward and punishment.
Social systems work best with a clear chain of command.
When people have agreed to do a job, a part of the deal is that they
cede all authority to their manager.
The prime purpose of a subordinate is to do what their manager
tells them to do.
Style
The transactional leader works through creating clear structures
whereby it is clear what is required of their subordinates, and the
rewards that they get for following orders. Punishments are not always

1365
mentioned, but they are also well-understood and formal systems of
discipline are usually in place.
The early stage of Transactional Leadership is in negotiating the
contract whereby the subordinate is given a salary and other benefits,
and the company (and by implication the subordinate's manager) gets
authority over the subordinate.
When the Transactional Leader allocates work to a subordinate, they
are considered to be fully responsible for it, whether or not they have
the resources or capability to carry it out. When things go wrong, then
the subordinate is considered to be personally at fault, and is punished
for their failure (just as they are rewarded for succeeding).
The transactional leader often uses management by exception, working
on the principle that if something is operating to defined (and hence
expected) performance then it does not need attention. Exceptions to
expectation require praise and reward for exceeding expectation, whilst
some kind of corrective action is applied for performance below
expectation.
Whereas Transformational Leadership has more of a 'selling' style,
Transactional Leadership, once the contract is in place, takes a 'telling'
style.
Discussion
Transactional leadership is based in contingency, in that reward or
punishment is contingent upon performance.
Despite much research that highlights its limitations, Transactional
Leadership is still a popular approach with many managers. Indeed, in
the Leadership vs. Management spectrum, it is very much towards the
management end of the scale.
The main limitation is the assumption of 'rational man', a person who is
largely motivated by money and simple reward, and hence whose
behavior is predictable. The underlying psychology is Behaviorism,
including the Classical Conditioning of Pavlov and Skinner's Operant

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Conditioning. These theories are largely based on controlled laboratory
experiments (often with animals) and ignore complex emotional factors
and social values.
In practice, there is sufficient truth in Behaviorism to sustain
Transactional approaches. This is reinforced by the supply-and-demand
situation of much employment, coupled with the effects of deeper
needs, as in Maslow's Hierarchy. When the demand for a skill outstrips
the supply, then Transactional Leadership often is insufficient, and
other approaches are more effective.
Hersey and Blanchard's Situational Leadership
Assumptions
Leaders should adapt their style to follower development style (or
'maturity'), based on how ready and willing the follower is to
perform required tasks (that is, their competence and motivation).
There are four leadership styles (S1 to S4) that match the
development levels (R1 to R4) of the followers.
The four styles suggest that leaders should put greater or less focus
on the task in question and/or the relationship between the leader
and the follower, depending on the development level of the
follower.

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Style

Follower
development level
Leadership style Low High
in response to R
R1 R2 R3
follower development 4
level Task/directive
behavior
Low High
S3
Participati
S2
ng/
Selling/
Supporting
Coaching
High
Some competence,
High competence,
variable commitment
Relationship/ variable
supportive commitment
behavior S1 S4
Low Telling/ Delegating
Directing Observing
Low High
competence, competence,
low high
commitment commitment

S1: Telling / Directing

Follower: R1: Low competence, low commitment / Unable and
unwilling or insecure
Leader: High task focus, low relationship focus
When the follower cannot do the job and is unwilling or afraid to try,
then the leader takes a highly directive role, telling them what to do but

1368
without a great deal of concern for the relationship. The leader may also
provide a working structure, both for the job and in terms of how the
person is controlled.
The leader may first find out why the person is not motivated and if
there are any limitations in ability. These two factors may be linked, for
example where a person believes they are less capable than they should
be may be in some form of denial or other coping. They follower may
also lack self-confidence as a result.
If the leader focused more on the relationship, the follower may become
confused about what must be done and what is optional. The leader
thus maintains a clear 'do this' position to ensure all required actions
are clear.
S2: Selling / Coaching
Follower: R2: Some competence, variable commitment / Unable but
willing or motivated
Leader: High task focus, high relationship focus
When the follower can do the job, at least to some extent, and perhaps is
over-confident about their ability in this, then 'telling' them what to do
may demotivate them or lead to resistance. The leader thus needs to
'sell' another way of working, explaining and clarifying decisions.
The leader thus spends time listening and advising and, where
appropriate, helping the follower to gain necessary skills through
coaching methods.
Note: S1 and S2 are leader-driven.
S3: Participating / Supporting
Follower: R3: High competence, variable commitment / Able but
unwilling or insecure
Leader: Low task focus, high relationship focus

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When the follower can do the job, but is refusing to do it or otherwise
showing insufficient commitment, the leader need not worry about
showing them what to do, and instead is concerned with finding out
why the person is refusing and thence persuading them to cooperate.
There is less excuse here for followers to be reticent about their ability,
and the key is very much around motivation. If the causes are found
then they can be addressed by the leader. The leader thus spends time
listening, praising and otherwise making the follower feel good when
they show the necessary commitment.
S4: Delegating / Observing
Follower: R4: High competence, high commitment / Able and willing or
motivated
Leader: Low task focus, low relationship focus
When the follower can do the job and is motivated to do it, then the
leader can basically leave them to it, largely trusting them to get on with
the job although they also may need to keep a relatively distant eye on
things to ensure everything is going to plan.
Followers at this level have less need for support or frequent praise,
although as with anyone, occasional recognition is always welcome.
Note: S3 and S4 are follower-led.
Discussion
Hersey and Blanchard (of 'One Minute Manager' fame) have written a
short and very readable book on the approach. It is simple and easy to
understand, which makes it particularly attractive for practicing
managers who do not want to get into heavier material. It also is
accepted in wider spheres and often appears in college courses.
It is limited, however, and is based on assumptions that can be
challenged, for example the assumption that at the 'telling' level, the
relationship is of lower importance.

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Transformational Leadership
Assumptions
People will follow a person who inspires them.
A person with vision and passion can achieve great things.
The way to get things done is by injecting enthusiasm and energy.
Style
Working for a Transformational Leader can be a wonderful and
uplifting experience. They put passion and energy into everything. They
care about you and want you to succeed.
Developing the vision
Transformational Leadership starts with the development of a vision, a
view of the future that will excite and convert potential followers. This
vision may be developed by the leader, by the senior team or may
emerge from a broad series of discussions. The important factor is the
leader buys into it, hook, line and sinker.
Selling the vision
The next step, which in fact never stops, is to constantly sell the vision.
This takes energy and commitment, as few people will immediately buy
into a radical vision, and some will join the show much more slowly
than others. The Transformational Leader thus takes every opportunity
and will use whatever works to convince others to climb on board the
bandwagon.
In order to create followers, the Transformational Leader has to be very
careful in creating trust, and their personal integrity is a critical part of
the package that they are selling. In effect, they are selling themselves as
well as the vision.

1371
Finding the way forwards
In parallel with the selling activity is seeking the way forward. Some
Transformational Leaders know the way, and simply want others to
follow them. Others do not have a ready strategy, but will happily lead
the exploration of possible routes to the promised land.
The route forwards may not be obvious and may not be plotted in
details, but with a clear vision, the direction will always be known. Thus
finding the way forward can be an ongoing process of course correction,
and the Transformational Leader will accept that there will be failures
and blind canyons along the way. As long as they feel progress is being
made, they will be happy.
Leading the charge
The final stage is to remain up-front and central during the action.
Transformational Leaders are always visible and will stand up to be
counted rather than hide behind their troops. They show by their
attitudes and actions how everyone else should behave. They also make
continued efforts to motivate and rally their followers, constantly doing
the rounds, listening, soothing and enthusing.
It is their unswerving commitment as much as anything else that keeps
people going, particularly through the darker times when some may
question whether the vision can ever be achieved. If the people do not
believe that they can succeed, then their efforts will flag. The
Transformational Leader seeks to infect and reinfect their followers
with a high level of commitment to the vision.
One of the methods the Transformational Leader uses to sustain
motivation is in the use of ceremonies, rituals and other cultural
symbolism. Small changes get big hurrahs, pumping up their
significance as indicators of real progress.
Overall, they balance their attention between action that creates
progress and the mental state of their followers. Perhaps more than
other approaches, they are people-oriented and believe that success
comes first and last through deep and sustained commitment.

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Discussion
Whilst the Transformational Leader seeks overtly to transform the
organization, there is also a tacit promise to followers that they also will
be transformed in some way, perhaps to be more like this amazing
leader. In some respects, then, the followers are the product of the
transformation.
Transformational Leaders are often charismatic, but are not as
narcissistic as pure Charismatic Leaders, who succeed through a belief
in themselves rather than a belief in others.
One of the traps of Transformational Leadership is that passion and
confidence can easily be mistaken for truth and reality. Whilst it is true
that great things have been achieved through enthusiastic leadership, it
is also true that many passionate people have led the charge right over
the cliff and into a bottomless chasm. Just because someone believes
they are right, it does not mean they are right.
Paradoxically, the energy that gets people going can also cause them to
give up. Transformational Leaders often have large amounts of
enthusiasm which, if relentlessly applied, can wear out their followers.
Transformational Leaders also tend to see the big picture, but not the
details, where the devil often lurks. If they do not have people to take
care of this level of information, then they are usually doomed to fail.
Finally, Transformational Leaders, by definition, seek to transform.
When the organization does not need transforming and people are
happy as they are, then such a leader will be frustrated. Like wartime
leaders, however, given the right situation they come into their own and
can be personally responsible for saving entire companies.

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The Quiet Leader
Assumptions
The actions of a leader speak louder than his or her words.
People are motivated when you give them credit rather than take it
yourself.
Ego and aggression are neither necessary nor constructive.
Style
The approach of quiet leaders is the antithesis of the classic charismatic
(and often transformational) leaders in that they base their success not
on ego and force of character but on their thoughts and actions.
Although they are strongly task-focused, they are neither bullies nor
unnecessarily unkind and may persuade people through rational
argument and a form of benevolent Transactional Leadership.

The 'Level 5' leader

In his book Good To Great, Jim Collins, identified five levels of
effectiveness people can take in organizations. At level four is the
merely effective leader, whilst at level five the leader who combines
professional will with personal humility. The 'professional will'
indicates how they are far from being timid wilting flowers and will
march against any advice if they believe it is the right thing to do. In
'personal humility' they put the well-being of others before their own
personal needs, for example giving others credit after successes but
taking personal responsibility for failures.
Taoist writings
The quiet leader is not a modern invention and Lao Tzu, who, in the
classic Taoist text Tao Te Ching, was discussing the same characteristic
around 500 BC:

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The very highest is barely known by men,
Then comes that which they know and love,
Then that which is feared,
Then that which is despised.
He who does not trust enough will not be trusted.
When actions are performed Without unnecessary speech, People
say We did it!
Here again, the highest level of leadership is virtually invisible.
Discussion
To some extent, the emphasis on the quiet leader is a reaction against
the lauding of charismatic leaders in the press. In particular during the
heady days of the dot-com boom of the 1990s, some very verbal leaders
got much coverage. Meanwhile, the quiet leaders were getting on with
the job.
Being quiet, of course, is not the secret of the universe, and leaders still
need to see the way forwards. Their job can be harder when they are
faced with people of a more external character.
For people accustomed to an extraverted charismatic style, a quiet style
can be very confusing and they may downplay the person, which is
usually a mistake. Successful quiet leaders often play the values card to
persuade others, showing selfishness and lack of emotional control as
being unworthy characteristics. Again there is a trap in this and
leadership teams can fall into patterns of behavior where peace and
harmony are prized over any form of challenge and conflict.

1375
Servant leadership
Assumptions
The leader has responsibility for the followers.
Leaders have a responsibility towards society and those who are
disadvantaged.
People who want to help others best do this by leading them.
Style
The servant leader serves others, rather than others serving the leader.
Serving others thus comes by helping them to achieve and improve.
There are two criteria of servant leadership:
The people served grow as individuals, becoming 'healthier, wiser,
more autonomous and more likely themselves to become servants'
(Greenleaf, 1977).
The extent to which the leadership benefits those who are least
advantaged in society (or at least does not disadvantage them).

Principles of servant leadership defined by the Alliance for Servant

Leadership are:
Transformation as a vehicle for personal and institutional growth.
Personal growth as a route to better serve others.
Enabling environments that empower and encourage service.
Service as a fundamental goals.
Trusting relationships as a basic platform for collaboration and
service.
Creating commitment as a way to collaborative activity.
Community building as a way to create environments in which
people can trust each other and work together.
Nurturing the spirit as a way to provide joy and fulfilment in
meaningful work.

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Spears (2002) lists: listening, empathy, healing, awareness, persuasion,
conceptualization, foresight, stewardship, commitment to growth of
people, and building community.
An excellent example of a servant leader is Ernest Shackleton, the early
20th century explorer who, after his ship became frozen in the Antarctic
life, brought every one of his 27 crew home alive, including an 800 mile
journey in open boats across the winter Antarctic seas. It took two
years, but Shackleton's sense of responsibility towards his men never
wavered.
Discussion
Greenleaf says that true leadership "emerges from those whose primary
motivation is a deep desire to help others." Servant leadership is a very
moral position, putting the well-being of the followers before other
goals.
It is easy to dismiss servant leadership as soft and easy, though this is
not necessarily so, as individual followers may be expected to make
sacrifices for the good of the whole, in the way of the servant leader.
The focus on the less privileged in society shows the servant leader as
serving not just their followers but also the whole of society.
Servant leadership is a natural model for working in the public sector. It
requires more careful interpretation in the private sector lest the needs
of the shareholders and customers and the rigors of market competition
are lost.
A challenge to servant leadership is in the assumption of the leader that
the followers want to change. There is also the question of what 'better'
is and who decides this.
Servant leadership aligns closely with religious morals and has been
adopted by several Christian organizations.

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The Managerial Grid
Description
Leaders may be concerned for their people and they also must also have
some concern for the work to be done. The question is, how much
attention to they pay to one or the other? This is a model defined by
Blake and Mouton in the early 1960s.

Country Club Team

High
management management

Middle of the
Concern for
Medium road
People
management

Impoverished Authority-
Low
management compliance

Low Medium High

Concern for Production (Task)

Impoverished management
Minimum effort to get the work done. A basically lazy approach that
avoids as much work as possible.
Authority-compliance
Strong focus on task, but with little concern for people. Focus on
efficiency, including the elimination of people wherever possible.

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Country Club management
Care and concern for the people, with a comfortable and friendly
environment and collegial style. But a low focus on task may give
questionable results.
Middle of the road management
A weak balance of focus on both people and the work. Doing enough to
get things done, but not pushing the boundaries of what may be
possible.
Team management
Firing on all cylinders: people are committed to task and leader is
committed to people (as well as task).
Discussion
This is a well-known grid that uses the Task vs. Person preference that
appears in many other studies, such as the Michigan Leadership Studies
and the Ohio State Leadership Studies. Many other task-people models
and variants have appeared since then. They are both clearly important
dimensions, but as other models point out, they are not all there is to
leadership and management.
The Managerial Grid was the original name. It later changed to the
Leadership Grid.

Lewin's leadership styles

Description
Kurt Lewin and colleagues did leadership decision experiments in 1939
and identified three different styles of leadership, in particular around
decision-making.

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Autocratic
In the autocratic style, the leader takes decisions without consulting
with others. The decision is made without any form of consultation. In
Lewin's experiments, he found that this caused the most level of
discontent.
An autocratic style works when there is no need for input on the
decision, where the decision would not change as a result of input, and
where the motivation of people to carry out subsequent actions would
not be affected whether they were or were not involved in the decision-
making.
Democratic
In the democratic style, the leader involves the people in the decision-
making, although the process for the final decision may vary from the
leader having the final say to them facilitating consensus in the group.
Democratic decision-making is usually appreciated by the people,
especially if they have been used to autocratic decisions with which
they disagreed. It can be problematic when there are a wide range of
opinions and there is no clear way of reaching an equitable final
decision.
Laissez-Faire
The laissez-faire style is to minimize the leader's involvement in
decision-making, and hence allowing people to make their own
decisions, although they may still be responsible for the outcome.
Laissez-faire works best when people are capable and motivated in
making their own decisions, and where there is no requirement for a
central coordination, for example in sharing resources across a range of
different people and groups.

1380
Discussion
In Lewin et al's experiments, he discovered that the most effective style
was Democratic. Excessive autocratic styles led to revolution, whilst
under a Laissez-faire approach, people were not coherent in their work
and did not put in the energy that they did when being actively led.
These experiments were actually done with groups of children, but
were early in the modern era and were consequently highly influential.

Likert's leadership styles

Description
Rensis Likert identified four main styles of leadership, in particular
around decision-making and the degree to which people are involved in
the decision.
Exploitive authoritative
In this style, the leader has a low concern for people and uses such
methods as threats and other fear-based methods to achieve
conformance. Communication is almost entirely downwards and the
psychologically distant concerns of people are ignored.
Benevolent authoritative
When the leader adds concern for people to an authoritative position, a
'benevolent dictatorship' is formed. The leader now uses rewards to
encourage appropriate performance and listens more to concerns lower
down the organization, although what they hear is often rose-tinted,
being limited to what their subordinates think that the boss wants to
hear. Although there may be some delegation of decisions, almost all
major decisions are still made centrally.
Consultative
The upward flow of information here is still cautious and rose-tinted to
some degree, although the leader is making genuine efforts to listen

1381
carefully to ideas. Nevertheless, major decisions are still largely
centrally made.
Participative
At this level, the leader makes maximum use of participative methods,
engaging people lower down the organization in decision-making.
People across the organization are psychologically closer together and
work well together at all levels.
Discussion
This is a classic 1960s view in that it is still very largely top-down in
nature, with the cautious addition collaborative elements towards the
Utopian final state.

Six Emotional Leadership Styles

Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis and Annie McKee, in Primal
Leadership, describe six styles of leading that have different effects on
the emotions of the target followers.
These are styles, not types. Any leader can use any style, and a good mix
that is customised to the situation is generally the most effective
approach.
The Visionary Leader
The Visionary Leader moves people towards a shared vision, telling
them where to go but not how to get there - thus motivating them to
struggle forwards. They openly share information, hence giving
knowledge power to others.
They can fail when trying to motivate more experienced experts or
peers.
This style is best when a new direction is needed.
Overall, it has a very strong impact on the climate.

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The Coaching Leader
The Coaching Leader connects wants to organizational goals, holding
long conversations that reach beyond the workplace, helping people
find strengths and weaknesses and tying these to career aspirations and
actions. They are good at delegating challenging assignments,
demonstrating faith that demands justification and which leads to high
levels of loyalty.
Done badly, this style looks like micromanaging.
It is best used when individuals need to build long-term capabilities.
It has a highly positive impact on the climate.
The Affiliative Leader
The Affiliative Leader creates people connections and thus harmony
within the organization. It is a very collaborative style which focuses on
emotional needs over work needs.
When done badly, it avoids emotionally distressing situations such as
negative feedback. Done well, it is often used alongside visionary
leadership.
It is best used for healing rifts and getting through stressful situations.
It has a positive impact on climate.
The Democratic Leader
The Democratic Leader acts to value inputs and commitment via
participation, listening to both the bad and the good news.
When done badly, it looks like lots of listening but very little effective
action.
It is best used to gain buy-in or when simple inputs are needed ( when
you are uncertain).
It has a positive impact on climate.

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The Pace-setting Leader
The Pace-setting Leader builds challenge and exciting goals for people,
expecting excellence and often exemplifying it themselves. They identify
poor performers and demand more of them. If necessary, they will roll
up their sleeves and rescue the situation themselves.
They tend to be low on guidance, expecting people to know what to do.
They get short term results but over the long term this style can lead to
exhaustion and decline.
Done badly, it lacks Emotional Intelligence, especially self-management.
A classic problem happens when the 'star techie' gets promoted.
It is best used for results from a motivated and competent team.
It often has a very negative effect on climate (because it is often poorly
done).
The Commanding Leader
The Commanding Leader soothes fears and gives clear directions by his
or her powerful stance, commanding and expecting full compliance
(agreement is not needed). They need emotional self-control for success
and can seem cold and distant.
This approach is best in times of crisis when you need unquestioned
rapid action and with problem employees who do not respond to other
methods.
Negative styles
There are some relatively common styles of management that are
anything but models of good leadership.
Post-hoc Management
Although not an 'official' management theory, what can be called 'Post-
hoc management' is practiced widely on a daily basis around the world
and most people will instantly recognize it. It is very common in small
companies where there are few formal systems and where there is a

1384
general autocratic style. It also appears in larger organizations where
results take precedence over rules or where politics leads to impression
management being a primary activity.
Principle
The basic principle of post-hoc management is that, as judge and jury,
the manager is always right and never to blame. In this way they can
remain secure in their job.
Vague objectives
The first sign of post-hoc management is a vague start to work, typically
with unclear and general objectives. If the manager is asked for clarity,
they will typically say something like 'you're the expert' or 'this is why
we employ you', with the implication that not knowing what indicates a
lack of competence on your part. This can be endemic in an organization
where it happens all the way up the management tree. The edict
'Managers must manage' is a typical statement by a more senior person
that essentially implies that you are on your own.
Wise in hindsight
Being right means judging others after the fact, where 20-20 hindsight
allows them to conclude what should have been done. It places the
manager as a wise expert who cannot be challenged. In fact the manager
actually uses the respect required by their formal position as a
substitute for the true respect engendered by expertise. Their seniority
thus acts as a protective wall and any challenge to their expertise is
reinterpreted as an attack on their rank, which they can repel with
accusations of insubordination.
One way of recognizing the post-hoc manager is the phrase 'Why didn't
you...' Their suggestions usually sound reasonable but do not take into
account time limitations and the myriad of other things that could have
been done. Most work planning includes decisions not to do a lot of
things that would make sense if you had the time, but get prioritized out
by the greater importance and urgency of other work.

1385
If you are always right then others are always wrong and the post-hoc
manager often bemoans how they are surrounded by fools. Yet this also
makes the manager feel clever and superior, and they seldom seek to
employ people who are better than them. This sometimes does happen
by accident when a good person slips through the mediocre net, but the
frustrations caused by post-hoc management often means that the best
people quickly understand the problem and move on as soon as
possible.
Critical benefits
The post-hoc manager also benefits from the 'critic effect', whereby
people who criticize are seen as being more intelligent that those who
propose creative solutions. The manager may be creative too, but does
it in a way that protects them from blame. For example they may make
various interesting suggestions as to what should be done, which puts
the other person in the double bind that if they do not follow the
manager's suggestions then, if things go less than perfectly the manager
will blame them for not taking up the idea. If they implement the idea
and it works then the manager can take most of the credit, whilst if it
fails then the manager can blame them for a poor implementation or say
'It was only an idea, effectively suggesting that you are incapable of
developing your own ideas.'
Whilst not an official management theory, Post-hoc management is
sadly an all-too-frequent reality. It reflects the human condition and the
need for control, safety and status that often take priority over values
that require integrity and concern for others.

Micromanagement
There is a style of management with which many are familiar and which
has acquired the name 'micromanagement'. The manager in question
acts as if the subordinate is incapable of doing the job, giving close
instruction and checking everything the person does. They seldom

1386
praise and often criticize. Whatever their subordinates do, nothing
seems good enough. It is the opposite of leadership.
The micromanagement experience
For the individual, this tends to be incredibly frustrating. They are being
treated as if they are incapable and untrustworthy. We often see
ourselves as others see us and, when treated as unworthy, we will soon
feel unworthy. In this way, people who are micromanaged can become
dependent, unable to make the smallest decision without asking their
manager. Alternatives to this total submission, which many take,
include remaining frustrated or leaving. In any case, it is easy for one's
confidence to be severely knocked.
Why micromanage?
Why do managers micromanage? There can be a number of reasons.
First, they may reasonably not trust the person either because there is
evidence to support this or because the newness of the relationship has
not yet yielded evidence to support trust. There might also be a high-
risk situation which merits extra management attention.
A more likely explanation is an internal need for the manager to manage
closely. They may fear failure personally, transfer that risk to the person
then take ownership of the person's work. The manager may also feel
(or want to feel) superior to the person, effectively confusing authority
with ability. The person thus seems incompetent and the manager looks
for confirmation of this in the smallest details of the person's work. A
minor error is thus taken as evidence of the person's total
incompetence and the manager's obvious superiority. This can be a
reversal of a childhood situation with a critical parent. Just as the
abused become abusers, so also may the criticized become critical.
Micromanagement also plays to strong identity and control needs.
Telling people what to do and not do is a strong controlling action,
whilst the sense of superiority strokes the identity ego.

1387
When it is appropriate
Sometimes, close management is a realistic option. When a person is
working in a job where they do not have the knowledge or ability to do
the job, and where mistakes are costly and highly undesirable, then they
will need careful supervision and education until they are able to work
by themselves.
Sometimes also a person may become destructive for some inner
reason, such as disliking the company or its managers and they need
careful watching in case they do something harmful.
How to handle micromanagers
So what should you do when faced with a micromanager? The first thing
is to recognize that it is their issue, not yours. However, this disability
means they lack certain abilities and because of your situation, you are
going to have to handle it.
The worst thing you can do is to get into a power struggle, as this is very
likely to result in the micromanager using all the formal power at their
disposal to beat you into submission, including threats of dismissal and
negative references.
The simplest approach is to listen patiently and attentively when they
tell you what to do (they hate being ignored). If you really disagree with
what they are saying, ask politely for their reasons or explain your
concern and ask for their advice. Quietly and carefully ensure you
cannot be blamed for the micromanager's decisions (it can be useful to
keep notes and confirm directives in emails in case of later
disagreement).
You can give them feedback (through a third party, if necessary) about
how they are behaving and how this makes you feel. Some
micromanagers do not intend to act this way and will make genuine
attempts to improve. Many, however, will feel slighted and the result
can be unhelpful. In consequence, think carefully before using this
approach.

1388
A reversal can be an interesting alternative, effectively, micromanaging
them. Book their time to agree what you will be doing. Agree in detail
what you will be doing. Let them make every decision. Then do exactly
what they said and report back that you have completed each step. Go
back often to check for new each decision. In the end they may tire of
your constant attention and tell you to back off. You can also pre-empt
and prompt this by occasionally asking if your approach to managing
the detail through them is ok and whether they'd prefer you to decide
more things yourself.
Another approach is to use their control and identity needs as levers.
Use these as punishment and reward, carefully removing control and
isolating them, or giving feedback that shows they are in control and are
wonderful. For example when they over-control, avoid them, whilst
when they give you more space, even a little, look at them and smile
(identity stroking). Be very subtle in all this -- if the micromanager feels
micromanaged, they will react strongly.
In this way you will feel more in control yourself even as you give them
a greater sense of control. Living with a micromanager need not be
painful and it can be an interesting challenge
Seagull management
Description
'Seagull management' is a humorous term that is used to describe
a style of management whereby the person 'flies in, poops on you and
then flies away again'.
When they are there, they typically give criticism and direction in equal
quantities, often without any real understanding of what the job entails.
Then before you can object or ask what they really want, they have an
'important meeting' to go to.
The experience of having a seagull manager is not positive. Whilst they
are there, they talk non-stop and actively discourage anyone else from
saying anything. This can include avoiding eye contact and continuing to
talk over you if you start to say anything.

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You may typically feel under-valued and generally abuse. The best thing
that can be said is that they are typically there not very often and you
can largely get on with the job by yourself.
Why it happens
The Seagull Manager like to consider themselves as important. However
they also know that they do not know that much and fear being exposed
by questions or debate. They consequently grab the talking stick and do
not stop until they can excuse themselves and leave.
It is possible that they really are busy, but what they miss is the
importance of person-management. They are likely to be strongly task-
based and consider the 'soft stuff' as fluffy and unnecessary. Their
approach is thus highly transactional, based on the simple premise 'do
as I say and you'll continue to get paid'.
What to do about it
What you need to do about Seagull Managers depends largely on your
job. If you can work independently, then the best approach is often to
listen patiently then ignore them. As long as you are delivering value,
they may not actually be too concerned about how you get there. Unlike
the micromanager, they are not that interested in control over you.
If, however, their approach is damaging to your career and health, then
you need to address the issue. Book a meeting with them (if you can) to
discuss your work. Write down what your objectives are and what you
are doing and give it to them. They may ignore it but this will give you
tacit ammunition if you need it later.
If things are particularly bad, this is a definite case for assertiveness
(which is probably good anyway). Talk to them about what they are
doing and the effect they are having. You may also need to talk with
their manager or HR. Worst case, look for another position with a better
manager who knows how to lead.
A novel approach is to deliberately 'chase' them with complex detail for
which they have 'no time'. As they retreat or woffle at you, offer a

1390
simpler alternative that is easy for them to accept. You can also always
reframe what they said, casting it into a more sensible light.
Because the most important thing in the Seagull Manager's life is the
Seagull Manager, if you can deliver results, then they may well leave you
to your own devices or give moderate support. Deliver regular short
messages that shows you are making good progress. Also work to make
them look good to the rest of the organization (despite temptations to
the contrary!). If they think you are acting contrary to their interests,
they will just fly by more often and poop on you even more!
If you are a manager
If you are a manager, then seagull management is of course something
to avoid. It is a trap that may seem easy but in practice it will alienate
and demotivate your staff. If there are wiser people above you, then
they also will find out what is happening and your advancement will
halt or regress.
The real lesson here is to sustain a good relationship with your people.
Whilst you need not (and should not) be best mates with them, you
should respect them and communicate regularly and with integrity.
Listen too -- this is a key skill and frequent activity of good leaders.
Mushroom management
Description
In a common metaphor, the 'mushroom manager' plants you knee-deep
(or worse) in the smelly stuff and keeps you in the dark.
In practice, this means you get to do all the work that they do not want.
They do not communicate and generally ignore you, so you do not know
their plans or what else might be going on in the organization.
Why it happens
Mushroom managers are often more concerned about their own career
and image. Anyone who appears as a threat may well be deliberately
held back as their ability may make the mushroom manager look bad.

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Mushroom managers may also have their favorites on whom they lavish
attention and the plum jobs. Others are swept away and given the dross.
Managers may take the mushroom route is that they just do not care
about some or all of their people. Sometimes mushroom managers are
just incompetent and know no better.
What to do about it
If you are a quiet mouse who likes to keep your head down and avoid
other people, then you may like a mushroom manager, just so long as
they do not over-do it. Somebody has to handle the unpopular work
which may make you feel safe and comfortable. Staying away from
other work is fine as it lets you go home at a regular hour. Not everyone
needs high ambition.
On the other hand, a mushroom manager may annoy you as they hold
back your career and give you little opportunity to shine. Be assertive.
Talk to them about what they are doing and the effect they are having.
Do not lie down and be the doormat who says 'thank you' for any scraps
they care to throw you. Remember that you always have more power
than you think you have.
Kipper Management
Description
Fish might unfairly be accused of being two-faced, as you only get to see
one side at once. This principle is also applicable to the two-faced
manager who has different faces and styles depending on the situation.
When they are with more senior managers they are typically model
employees, putting business first and themselves last. Yet with their
subordinates, the reverse is often true, with the individuals carrying the
can for both pulling out the stops to get things done in time and then
blame when things go wrong through no fault of their own.
The kipper will change with the wind as the need arises. They are
chums when things need doing and backstabbers when there is glory or
reward to be gained. The kipper's hero is probably Machiavelli.

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Why it happens
The key reason why the kipper is so two-faced (or many-faced) is that
their values with regard to integrity are largely non-existent. They
literally see nothing wrong in acting differently with different people
and may even be proud of their ability to act differently in different
situations, calling it something like 'style flexibility'.
Historically, the kipper may have been taught that 'this is how it works'.
They may also have a deeper background where trust was low and
abusive relationships common.
What to do about it
Make sure you always have something that the kipper needs. This will
keep their kinder face towards you.
If the kipper regularly turns their bad face on you, consider fighting fire
with fire and standing up to them. Many kippers will turn a kinder face
to those who are not easily cowed. Also consider taking the matter
further, particularly if you can show the kipper is seriously breaking
company values.
Kippers are natural cowards and admire power. They are hence
susceptible to blackmail, although this is seldom a good approach. If,
however, they know that you know something that they do not want
others to know, no words may be necessary and they may treat you
much better.
If you are a more senior manager and suspect you have a kipper in your
ranks, get 360 degree views on them from different people. The kipper
may also happily betray themselves in boasts of what and how they got
people to do things for them.

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4.40 SWOT ANALYSIS
The SWOT analysis is an extremely useful tool for understanding and
decision-making for all sorts of situations in business and organizations.
SWOT is an acronym for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats.
The SWOT analysis headings provide a good framework for reviewing
strategy, position and direction of a company or business proposition,
or any other idea.
Completing a SWOT analysis is very simple, and is a good subject for
workshop sessions. SWOT analysis also works well in brainstorming
meetings.
Use SWOT analysis for business planning, strategic planning, competitor
evaluation, marketing, business and product development and research
reports. You can also use SWOT analysis exercises for team building
games.
Note that SWOT analysis is often interpreted and used as a SWOT
Analysis 2x2 Matrix, especially in business and marketing planning.
In addition to this 2x2 matrix method, SWOT analysis is also a widely
recognized method for gathering, structuring, presenting and reviewing
extensive planning data within a larger business or project planning
process.
Please note: If you use SWOT Analysis as a 2x2 matrix method , then
technically Strengths and Weaknesses are internal factors (generally
the case anyway), whereas Opportunities and Threats are external
factors (this can be more difficult, since it requires you to ignore
internal threats and opportunities). The SWOT 2x2 'internal/external'
matrix method thus only considers external threats and opportunities.
A SWOT analysis is a subjective assessment of data which is organized
by the SWOT format into a logical order that helps understanding,
presentation, discussion and decision-making. The four dimensions are
a useful extension of a basic two heading list of pro's and con's .

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SWOT analysis can be used for all sorts of decision-making, and the
SWOT template enables proactive thinking, rather than relying on
habitual or instinctive reactions.
The SWOT analysis template is normally presented as a grid,
comprising four sections, one for each of the SWOT headings: Strengths,
Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. The free SWOT template
below includes sample questions, whose answers are inserted into the
relevant section of the SWOT grid. The questions are examples, or
discussion points, and obviously can be altered depending on the
subject of the SWOT analysis. Note that many of the SWOT questions are
also talking points for other headings - use them as you find most
helpful, and make up your own to suit the issue being analysed. It is
important to clearly identify the subject of a SWOT analysis, because a
SWOT analysis is a perspective of one thing, be it a company, a product,
a proposition, and idea, a method, or option, etc.
swot analysis matrix - in business/marketing - internal v external
factors
Modern SWOT analysis in business and marketing situations is
normally structured so that a 2x2 matrix grid can be produced,
according to two pairs of dimensions.
Strengths and Weaknesses, are 'mapped' or 'graphed' against
Opportunities and Threats.
To enable this to happen cleanly and clearly, and from a logical point of
view anyway when completing a SWOT analysis in most business and
marketing situations, Strengths and Weaknesses are regarded
distinctly as internal factors, whereas Opportunities and Threats are
regarded distinctly as external factors.

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Here is the explanation in more detail:

Strengths and the internal for example, factors factors

Weaknesses environment - the relating to products, tend to be
situation inside pricing, costs, in the
the company or profitability, present
organization performance,
quality, people,
skills, adaptability,
brands, services,
reputation,
processes,
infrastructure, etc.

Opportunities the external for example, factors factors

and Threats environment - the relating to markets, tend to be
situation outside sectors, audience, in the
the company or fashion, seasonality, future
organization trends, competition,
economics, politics,
society, culture,
technology,
environmental,
media, law, etc.

swot matrix (2x2 matrix using internal/external categories)

Here is a typical extension of the basic SWOT analysis grid into a useful
'action-based' 2x2 SWOT matrix.
The SWOT analysis in this format acts as a quick decision-making tool,
quite aside from the more detailed data that would typically be fed into
business planning process for each of the SWOT factors.

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Here the 2x2 matrix model automatically suggests actions for issues
arising from the SWOT analysis, according to four different categories:

strengths (internal) weaknesses (internal)

strengths/opportunities weaknesses/opportunities

obvious natural potentially attractive

priorities options
Likely to produce greatest Likely to produce good
ROI (Return On returns if capability and
Investment) implementation are viable.
Likely to be quickest and Potentially more exciting
opportunities easiest to implement. and stimulating and
(external) rewarding than S/O due to
Probably justifying
change, challenge, surprise
immediate action-
tactics, and benefits from
planning or feasibility
addressing and achieving
study.
improvements.
Executive question: "If we
Executive questions: "What's
are not already looking at
actually stopping us doing
these areas and
these things, provided they
prioritising them, then
truly fit strategically and are
why not?"
realistic and substantial?"

strengths/threats weaknesses/threats

easy to defend and potentially high risk

counter
Assessment of risk crucial.
threats Only basic awareness,
(external) Where risk is low then we
planning, and
must ignore these issues and
implementation required
not be distracted by them.
to meet these challenges.
Where risk is high we must
Investment in these issues
assess capability gaps and
is generally safe and

1397
 necessary.
Executive question: "Are
we properly informed and
organized to deal with
these issues, and are we
certain there are no
hidden surprises?" - and -
"Since we are strong here,
can any of these threats be
turned into
opportunities?"
plan to defend/avert in very
specific controlled ways.
Executive question: "Have
we accurately assessed the
risks of these issues, and
where the risks are high do
we have specific controlled
reliable plans to
avoid/avert/defend?"

N.B. SWOT analysis is a very flexible tool. Its use is not restricted to
business and marketing. Be mindful that when SWOT is used in
situations outside of business and marketing, strict categorization of the
SWOT dimensions (according to 'internal' and 'external' factors) can be
limiting, and so a more open interpretation of the model can be helpful
in such circumstances, especially when assessing Opportunities and
Threats.
Also be mindful that if using the SWOT analysis model only as a 2x2
matrix, which assumes the categorization of internal and external
factors (and notably limiting the assessment of threats and
opportunities to external factors only), that it is very easy then to miss
certain threats and opportunities that can exist (internally) within the
company/organization. Some internal threats and opportunities can be
substantial, for example, opportunities such as: energy-saving, process-
improvement, training, advertising, or discontinuing loss-making
products, or threats such as: desertion or key staff, the loss of major
contracts, to name just a couple of typically ever-present threats within
large commercial corporations.
Be mindful therefore that the 'simplified' SWOT 2x2 matrix
'internal/external' method is not a reliable tool alone for identifying all

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threats and opportunities within organizations, or indeed any other
situation.
You will note from the origins of SWOT analysis below that the
methodology did not begin, and was not operated as the simple 2x2
'internal/external' matrix that we commonly see today. Particularly, the
original application of the model did not restrict threats and
opportunities to just external factors. Instead, six key aspects of the
business in question (namely: product, process, customer, distribution,
finance, admin) were each assessed using the SWOT model. Each aspect
was considered according to all four SWOT elements. Thus today when
we apply the SWOT model to an entire business, if we disregard internal
threats and opportunities, so the analysis can exclude some potentially
serious issues.
swot analysis - different applications
SWOT analysis is a powerful model for many different situations. The
SWOT tool is not just for business and marketing. Here are some
examples of what a SWOT analysis can be used to assess:
a company (its position in the market, commercial viability, etc)
a method of sales distribution
a product or brand
a business idea
a strategic option, such as entering a new market or launching a new
product
a opportunity to make an acquisition
a potential partnership
changing a supplier
outsourcing a service, activity or resource
project planning and project management
an investment opportunity
personal financial planning
personal career development - direction, choice, change, etc.
education and qualifications planning and decision-making

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 life-change - downshifting, relocation,
relationships, perhaps even family planning?..

Whatever the application, be sure to describe the subject (or purpose or

question) for the SWOT analysis clearly so you remain focused on the
central issue. This is especially crucial when others are involved in the
process. People contributing to the analysis and seeing the finished
SWOT analysis must be able to understand properly the purpose of the
SWOT assessment and the implications arising.

SWOT analysis template

Here is a larger illustration of SWOT analysis.
Note that this format is not presented or proposed as a 2x2
'internal/external' matrix; it's a more open demonstration of the sorts
of issues and questions which can be addressed when using the SWOT
format as part of business planning and decision-making.
And an example based on an imaginary situation. The scenario is based
on a business-to-business manufacturing company, who historically
rely on distributors to take their products to the end user market. The
opportunity, and therefore the subject for the SWOT analysis, is for the
manufacturer to create a new company of its own to distribute its
products direct to certain end-user sectors, which are not being covered
or developed by its normal distributors.

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Subject of SWOT analysis: (define the subject of the analysis here)

strengths
weaknesses
Advantages of proposition?
Disadvantages of proposition?
Capabilities?
Gaps in capabilities?
Competitive advantages?
Lack of competitive strength?
USP's (unique selling points)?
Reputation, presence and reach?
Resources, Assets, People?
Financials?
Experience, knowledge, data?
Own known vulnerabilities?
Financial reserves, likely returns?
Timescales, deadlines and pressures?
Marketing - reach, distribution,
Cashflow, start-up cash-drain?
awareness?
Continuity, supply chain robustness?
Innovative aspects?
Effects on core activities, distraction?
Location and geographical?
Reliability of data, plan predictability?
Price, value, quality?
Morale, commitment, leadership?
Accreditations, qualifications,
Accreditations, etc?
certifications?
Processes and systems, etc?
Processes, systems, IT,
Management cover, succession?
communications?
Management cover, succession?

opportunities
Market developments?
Competitors' vulnerabilities?
Industry or lifestyle trends?
Technology development and
innovation?
Global influences?
New markets, vertical, horizontal?
Niche target markets?
Geographical, export, import?
Market need for new USP's?
Market response to tactics,
Major contracts, tenders?
Business and product development?
Information and research?
Partnerships, agencies, distribution?
Market volume demand trends?
Seasonal, weather, fashion influences?
threats
Political effects?
Legislative effects?
Environmental effects?
IT developments?
Competitor intentions - various?
Market demand?
New technologies, services, ideas?
Vital contracts and partners?
Obstacles faced?
Insurmountable weaknesses?
Employment market?
Financial and credit pressures?
Economy - home, abroad?
Seasonality, weather effects?

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Subject of SWOT analysis example: the creation of own distributor
company to access new end-user sectors not currently being
developed.

strengths weaknesses
End-user sales control and Customer lists not tested.
direction. Some gaps in range for certain
Right products, quality and sectors.
reliability. We would be a small player.
Superior product performance vs No direct marketing experience.
competitors. We cannot supply end-users
Better product life and durability. abroad.
Spare manufacturing capacity. Need more sales people.
Some staff have experience of Limited budget.
end-user sector. No pilot or trial done yet.
Direct delivery capability. Don't have a detailed plan yet.
Product innovations ongoing. Delivery-staff need training.
Can serve from existing sites. Customer service staff need
Products obtained accreditations. training.
Management is committed and Processes and systems, etc
confident. Management cover insufficient.
opportunities threats
Could develop new products. Legislation could impact.
Local competitors have poor Environmental effects would
products. favour larger competitors.
Profit margins will be good. Existing core business distribution
End-users respond to new ideas. risk.
Could extend to overseas. Market demand very seasonal.
New specialist applications. Retention of key staff critical.
Can surprise competitors. Could distract from core business.
Support core business economies. Vulnerable to reactive attack by
Could seek better supplier deals. major competitors.

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How to do a SWOT Analysis
Dr Heinz Weihrich introduced the earlier version of the SWOT analysis,
the "TOWS Matrix" in 1982. TOWS stands for Threats |Opportunities
|Weaknesses |Strengths SWOT is simply a rearrangement of these,
reflecting the need to assess your current situation and reflect
internally (ie your strengths and weaknesses) before you can look to
the future and explore externally (opportunities and threats).
The SWOT format can be used to assess almost anything from a
personal SWOT analysis for goal setting, to SWOT analyses of business
opportunities and technical solutions to problems.
Personal SWOT Analysis
A personal SWOT analysis is a look at you and your life. It will help you
identify where you need to improve, and more importantly allows you
to identify your internal strengths that you can capitalize on to seize
your opportunities and thwart any external threats.
For this reason, it is an important step in personal goal setting a step
that shouldnt be overlooked.
Strengths:
What are your abilities, skills talents in this area?
Do you have any specialist knowledge in this area?
What resources do you have that support this strength?
Who can you ask for advice, support or help?
What is already working well in this area?
What personal behavioural traits do you have that are strengths in
this area?
Do your intelligence preferences indicate a strength in this area?

1403
Weaknesses:
What are your main limitations in this area?
What skills/ abilities are needed in this area that you dont have?
Are there any resources (money, time, help) that you don't have that
you really need?
What is not working in this area right now?
What personal behavioural traits do you have that are weaknesses in
this area?
Do your intelligence preferences indicate a weakness in this area?
Does your motivational need level according to Maslow indicate a
deficiency?

Opportunities:
What opportunities (dreams, wishes, goals) have you been
considering in this area?
Do your personality/ intelligence preferences or motivational needs
indicate any opportunities that you havent previously considered?
What could you improve in this result area for you? List as many
goals as you can which one or two will have the most impact on
this aspect of your life?
How can you take advantage of your strengths to pursue these?
Do you have any weaknesses that may impede these goals?
What major change do you need in your life to improve this area?
Are there any special tools you can use or develop to help?

Threats:
What external threats (changes to income, events, etc) could affect
you negatively? How could these affect you?
Are you facing any risks in this area if you continue along your
current path? What are they list them all. What would happen if
these risks took place?
What obstacles or roadblocks are in your way?

1404
 Do your personality/ intelligence preferences or motivational needs
indicate any threats that you havent previously considered?
Do any of your weaknesses increase the level of these threats or the
impact?
What strengths do you have that could help you reduce the identified
threats?

The outcome you want from the SWOT analysis is a list of:
What opportunities are best for you to pursue
What internal strengths you can use to enhance your pursuit of these
opportunities
What threats you need to eliminate/ minimise
What internal strengths you can use to overcome these threats
What strengths you should consider making stronger to further
enhance your ability to pursue your goals
What weaknesses you need to improve on, or manage, so that they
dont impede your goal setting.

A Personal SWOT Analysis will allow you to make the most of your talents
and opportunities.

What are
YOUR
strengths
and
weaknesses?

1405
 iStockphoto/vgajic

"Chance favors the prepared mind." Louis Pasteur

You are most likely to succeed in life if you use your talents to their
fullest extent. Similarly, you'll suffer fewer problems if you know what
your weaknesses are, and if you manage these weaknesses so that they
don't matter in the work you do.

So how you go about identifying these strengths and weaknesses, and

analyzing the opportunities and threats that flow from them? SWOT
Analysis is a useful technique that helps you do this.

What makes SWOT especially powerful is that, with a little thought, it

can help you uncover opportunities that you would not otherwise have
spotted. And by understanding your weaknesses, you can manage and
eliminate threats that might otherwise hurt your ability to move
forward.

If you look at yourself using the SWOT framework, you can start to
separate yourself from your peers, and further develop the specialized
talents and abilities you need to advance your career.

How to perform a personal SWOT analysis,?

Strengths

What advantages do you have that others don't have (for example,
skills, certifications, education, or connections)?
What do you do better than anyone else?
What personal resources can you access?
What do other people (and your boss, in particular) see as your
strengths?
Which of your achievements are you most proud of?
What values do you believe in that others fail to exhibit?
Are you part of a network that no one else is involved in? If so, what
connections do you have with influential people?

1406
Consider this from your own perspective, and from the point of view of
the people around you. And don't be modest or shy be as objective as
you can.

Tip:
Think about your strengths in relation to the people around you. For
example, if you're a great mathematician and the people around you are
also great at math, then this is not likely to be a strength in your current
role it may be a necessity.

Weaknesses

What tasks do you usually avoid because you don't feel confident
doing them?
What will the people around you see as your weaknesses?
Are you completely confident in your education and skills training? If
not, where are you weakest?
What are your negative work habits (for example, are you often late,
are you disorganized, do you have a short temper, or are you poor at
handling stress?
Do you have personality traits that hold you back in your field? For
instance, if you have to conduct meetings on a regular basis, a fear of
public speaking would be a major weakness.

Again, consider this from a personal/internal perspective and an

external perspective. Do other people see weaknesses that you don't
see? Do co-workers consistently outperform you in key areas? Be
realistic it's best to face any unpleasant truths as soon as possible.

Opportunities

What new technology can help you? Or can you get help from others
or from people via the Internet?

1407
 Is your industry growing? If so, how can you take advantage of the
current market?
Do you have a network of strategic contacts to help you, or offer good
advice?
What trends (management or otherwise) do you see in your
company, and how can you take advantage of them?
Are any of your competitors failing to do something important? If so,
can you take advantage of their mistakes?
Is there a need in your company or industry that no one is filling?
Do your customers or vendors complain about something in your
company? If so, could you create an opportunity by offering a
solution?

You might find useful opportunities in the following:

Networking events, educational classes, or conferences.
A colleague going on an extended leave. Could you take on some of
this person's projects to gain experience?
A new role or project that forces you to learn new skills, like public
speaking or international relations.
A company expansion or acquisition. Do you have specific skills (like
a second language) that could help with the process?

Also, importantly, look at your strengths, and ask yourself whether

these open up any opportunities and look at your weaknesses, and ask
yourself whether you could open up opportunities by eliminating those
weaknesses.

Threats

What obstacles do you currently face at work?

Are any of your colleagues competing with you for projects or roles?
Is your job (or the demand for the things you do) changing?
Does changing technology threaten your position?
Could any of your weaknesses lead to threats?

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Performing this analysis will often provide key information it can
point out what needs to be done and put problems into perspective.

Example of a Personal SWOT

Strengths
I'm very creative. I often impressing clients with a new perspective
on their brands.
I communicate well with my clients and team.
I have the ability to ask key questions to find just the right marketing
angle.
I'm completely committed to the success of a client's brand.

Weaknesses
I have a strong, compulsive need to do things quickly and remove
them from my "to do" list, and sometimes the quality of my work
suffers as a result.
This same need to get things done also causes me stress when I have
too many tasks.
I get nervous when presenting ideas to clients, and this fear of public
speaking often takes the passion out of my presentations.

Opportunities
One of our major competitors has developed a reputation for treating
their smaller clients poorly.
I'm attending a major marketing conference next month. This will
allow for strategic networking, and also offer some great training
seminars.
Our art director will go on maternity leave soon. Covering her duties
while she's away would be a great career development opportunity
for me.

Threats
Simon, one of my colleagues, is a much stronger speaker than I am,
and he's competing with me for the art director position.

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 Due to recent staff shortages, I'm often overworked, and this
negatively impacts my creativity.
The current economic climate has resulted in slow growth for the
marketing industry. Many firms have laid off staff members, and our
company is considering further cutbacks.

Source: http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_05_1.htm

Technical SWOT Analysis

Similar to the personal SWOT, a technical SWOT analysis can be

conducted using the same triggers of Strengths, Weaknesses,
Opportunities and Threats. This form of analysis can be used to assess
the viability of business cases and ventures, or to compare different
technical options.
Depending on whats being analysed, the sub-triggers under each of the
main SWOT headings will vary and should be established before the
actual SWOT commences.
Typical sub-triggers for technical and business SWOT analyses include
political, environmental, economic, social, technical, resources and
ethics. And of course, these sub-triggers can form a number of acronyms
such as:
PEST Political, Economic, Social, Technical.
STEEP Social, Technical, Economic, Environmental, Political.
STEEPER - Social, Technical, Economic, Environmental, Political,
Ethics, Resources.

In business, you may hear someone say theyre going to do say a STEEP
SWOT analysis this just means that they are doing a SWOT analysis
using the STEEP acronym as triggers under each of the main SWOT
headings. In this case, when the strengths of the particular object of
analysis are being considered, the strengths of the object in terms of
Social strengths, Technical strengths, Economic strengths,

1410
Environmental strengths and Political strengths will be considered.
And so on for weaknesses, opportunities and threats.
Source: http://www.achieve-goal-setting-success.com/SWOT-analysis.html
More on the difference and relationship between PEST and SWOT
There is some overlap between PEST and SWOT. Similar factors appear
in each. That said, PEST and SWOT are certainly two different
perspectives:
PEST tends to assess a market, including competitors, from the
standpoint of a particular proposition or a business.
SWOT in business and marketing tends to be an assessment of a
business or a proposition, whether it is your own business or (less
commonly) a competitor's business or proposition.
Strategic planning is not a precise science - no tool is mandatory - it's a
matter of pragmatic choice as to what helps best to identify and explain
the issues.
PEST analysis may useful before SWOT analysis where it helps to
identify SWOT factors. Alternatively PEST analysis may be incorporated
within a SWOT analysis, to achieve the same effect.
PEST becomes more useful and relevant the larger and more complex
the business or proposition, but even for a very small local businesses a
PEST analysis can still throw up one or two very significant issues that
might otherwise be missed.
The four quadrants in PEST vary in significance depending on the type
of business, for example, social factors are more obviously relevant to
consumer businesses or a B2B (business-to-business) organization
close to the consumer-end of the supply chain, whereas political factors
are more obviously relevant to a global munitions supplier or aerosol
propellant manufacturer.
All businesses benefit from a SWOT analysis, and all businesses benefit
from completing a SWOT analysis of their main competitors, which

1411
interestingly can then provide useful points back into the economic
aspects of the PEST analysis.
Swot analysis history - the origins of the SWOT analysis model
This remarkable piece of history as to the origins of SWOT analysis was
provided by Albert S Humphrey, one of the founding fathers of what we
know today as SWOT analysis. I am indebted to him for sharing this
fascinating contribution. Albert Humphrey died on 31 October 2005. He
was one of the good guys.
SWOT analysis came from the research conducted at Stanford Research
Institute from 1960-1970. The background to SWOT stemmed from the
need to find out why corporate planning failed. The research was
funded by the fortune 500 companies to find out what could be done
about this failure. The Research Team were Marion Dosher, Dr Otis
Benepe, Albert Humphrey, Robert Stewart, Birger Lie.
It all began with the corporate planning trend, which seemed to appear
first at Du Pont in 1949. By 1960 every Fortune 500 company had a
'corporate planning manager' (or equivalent) and 'associations of long
range corporate planners' had sprung up in both the USA and the UK.
However a unanimous opinion developed in all of these companies that
corporate planning in the shape of long range planning was not
working, did not pay off, and was an expensive investment in futility.
It was widely held that managing change and setting realistic objectives
which carry the conviction of those responsible was difficult and often
resulted in questionable compromises.
The fact remained, despite the corporate and long range planners, that
the one and only missing link was how to get the management team
agreed and committed to a comprehensive set of action programmes.
To create this link, starting in 1960, Robert F Stewart at SRI in Menlo
Park California lead a research team to discover what was going wrong
with corporate planning, and then to find some sort of solution, or to

1412
create a system for enabling management teams agreed and committed
to development work, which today we call 'managing change'.
The research carried on from 1960 through 1969. 1100 companies and
organizations were interviewed and a 250-item questionnaire was
designed and completed by over 5,000 executives. Seven key findings
lead to the conclusion that in corporations chief executive should be the
chief planner and that his immediate functional directors should be the
planning team. Dr Otis Benepe defined the 'Chain of Logic' which
became the core of system designed to fix the link for obtaining
agreement and commitment.
1. Values
2. Appraise
3. Motivation
4. Search
5. Select
6. Programme
7. Act
8. Monitor and repeat steps 1 2 and 3
We discovered that we could not change the values of the team nor set
the objectives for the team so we started as the first step by asking the
appraisal question, for example, what's good and bad about the
operation. We began the system by asking what is good and bad about
the present and the future. What is good in the present is Satisfactory,
good in the future is an Opportunity; bad in the present is a Fault and
bad in the future is a Threat. This was called the SOFT analysis.
When this was presented to Urick and Orr in 1964 at the Seminar in
Long Range Planning at the Dolder Grand in Zurich Switzerland they
changed the F to a W and called it SWOT Analysis.
SWOT was then promoted in Britain by Urick and Orr as an exercise in
and of itself. As such it has no benefit. What was necessary was the
sorting of the issues into the programme planning categories of:
1. Product (what are we selling?)

1413
2. Process (how are we selling it?)
3. Customer (to whom are we selling it?)
4. Distribution (how does it reach them?)
5. Finance (what are the prices, costs and investments?)
6. Administration (and how do we manage all this?)

The second step then becomes 'what shall the team do' about the issues
in each of these categories. The planning process was then designed
through trial and error and resulted finally in a 17 step process
beginning with SOFT/SWOT with each issue recorded separately on a
single page called a planning issue.
The first prototype was tested and published in 1966 based on the work
done at 'Erie Technological Corp' in Erie Pa. In 1970 the prototype was
brought to the UK, under the sponsorship of W H Smith & Sons plc, and
completed by 1973. The operational programme was used to merge the
CWS milling and baking operations with those of J W French Ltd.
The process has been used successfully ever since. By 2004, now, this
system has been fully developed, and proven to cope with today's
problems of setting and agreeing realistic annual objectives without
depending on outside consultants or expensive staff resources.
The seven key research findings
The key findings were never published because it was felt they were too
controversial. This is what was found:
1) A business was divided into two parts. The base business plus the
development business. This was re-discovered by Dr Peter Senge at MIT
in 1998 and published in his book the Fifth Discipline (not '5th
Dimension' as previously stated here - thanks J Hoffman for this
correction, 28 Jan 2011). The amount of development business which
become operational is equal to or greater than that business on the
books within a period of 5 to 7 years. This was a major surprise and
urged the need for discovering a better method for planning and
managing change.

1414
2) Dr Hal Eyring published his findings on 'Distributive Justice' and
pointed out that all people measure what they get from their work and
divide it by what they give to the work and this ratio is compared to
others. If it is not equal then the person first re-perceives and secondly
slows down if added demands are not met.
3) The introduction of a corporate planner upset the sense of fair play at
senior level, making the job of the corporate planner impossible.
4) The gap between what could be done by the organisation and what
was actually done was about 35%.
5) The senior man will over-supervise the area he comes from. Finance-
Finance, Engineering-Engineering etc.
6) There are 3 factors which separate excellence from mediocrity:
a. Overt attention to purchasing
b. Short-term written down departmental plans for improvement
c. Continued education of the Senior Executive
7) Some form of formal documentation is required to obtain approval
for development work. In short we could not solve the problem by
stopping planning.
In conclusion
By sorting the SWOT issues into the 6 planning categories one can
obtain a system which presents a practical way of assimilating the
internal and external information about the business unit, delineating
short and long term priorities, and allowing an easy way to build the
management team which can achieve the objectives of profit growth.
This approach captures the collective agreement and commitment of
those who will ultimately have to do the work of meeting or exceeding
the objectives finally set. It permits the team leader to define and
develop co-ordinated, goal-directed actions, which underpin the overall
agreed objectives between levels of the business hierarchy.
Albert S Humphrey - August 2004

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Translating SWOT issues into actions under the six categories
Albert Humphrey advocated that the six categories:
1. Product (what are we selling?)
2. Process (how are we selling it?)
3. Customer (to whom are we selling it?)
4. Distribution (how does it reach them?)
5. Finance (what are the prices, costs and investments?)
6. Administration (and how do we manage all this?)
provide a framework by which SWOT issues can be developed into
actions and managed using teams.
This can be something of a 'leap', and so the stage warrants further
explanation. Translating the SWOT issues into actions, are best sorted
into (or if necessary broken down into) the six categories, because in
the context of the way that business and organizations work, this makes
them more quantifiable and measurable, responsible teams more
accountable, and therefore the activities more manageable. The other
pivotal part in the process is of course achieving the commitment from
the team(s) involved, which is partly explained in the item summarising
Humphrey's TAM model and process.
As far as identifying actions from SWOT issues is concerned, it all very
much depends on your reasons and aims for using SWOT, and also your
authority/ability to manage others, whom by implication of SWOT's
breadth and depth, are likely to be involved in the agreement and
delivery of actions.
Depending on pretext and situation, a SWOT analysis can produce
issues which very readily translate into (one of the six) category actions,
or a SWOT analysis can produce issues which overlay a number of
categories. Or a mixture. Whatever, SWOT essentially tells you what is
good and bad about a business or a particular proposition. If it's a
business, and the aim is to improve it, then work on translating:

1416
strengths (maintain, build and leverage),
opportunities (prioritise and optimise),
weaknesses (remedy or exit),
threats (counter)
into actions (each within one of the six categories) that can be agreed
and owned by a team or number of teams.
If the SWOT analysis is being used to assess a proposition, then it could
be that the analysis shows that the proposition is too weak (especially if
compared with other SWOT's for alternative propositions) to warrant
further investment, in which case further action planning, other than
exit, is not required.
If the proposition is clearly strong (presumably you will have indicated
this using other methods as well), then proceed as for a business, and
translate issues into category actions with suitable ownership by
team(s).
This is my understanding of Albert Humphrey's theory relating to
developing SWOT issues into organizational change actions and
accountabilities. (I'm pleased to say that Albert kindly confirmed that
this is indeed correct.)
There are other ways of applying SWOT of course, depending on your
circumstances and aims, for instance if concentrating on a department
rather than a whole business, then it could make sense to revise the six
categories to reflect the functional parts of the department, or whatever
will enable the issues to be translatable into manageable, accountable
and owned aims.

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4.39 THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD KNOWN
SOONER
Below are a list of life lessons or things people wish they had known
sooner that have been submitted by readers such as yourself. Most are
positive while some may be viewed as negative. As we grow older and
gain more experience and wisdom, we often abandon what we used to
believe but it's still interesting to see what lessons people have come up
with at different ages.

These are not in order of importance. They're just numbered for easier
reference.
1. If you can do what you love for a living, life will be a lot less
stressful and a hell of a lot more fun. (Lisa B., 41)
2. A smile is one of the few contagious things that you should spread.
So spread it to everyone! (Marcie W., 27)
3. Never be too proud to ask for help (especially for directions, ).
(Ashley V., 23)
4. Avoid pulling all-nighters. They're no fun and too much Red Bull is
no good for you. (David S., 20)
5. We regret more about the things we didn't do than the things we
did do. Get out of yourself and just do it. (Will W)
6. Stop trying to impress people by being someone you're not
because in the end, you'll lose yourself. (Anonymous)
7. We don't have to do anything - we always have a choice. (Tim W.,
38)
8. The best feeling in the world is getting paid to do what you love to
do. (Laozhang, 36)
9. No one can make you feel anything you don't want to. (Jennifer K.,
28)
10. The older I get, the less I care about what others think of me.
Therefore, the older I get, the more I enjoy life. (Michael M., 57)
11. The word "Family" rarely ends up meaning blood related, and
usually ends up becoming who we allow them to be. (Celeste, 29)

1418
12. The purpose of life is simply to live a life of purpose. With no
reason to get up in the morning life can start to really get you
down. Watch out retirees! Make sure you retire to something
instead of from something. (Ricky K., 33)
13. If you have the choice to be right or kind, always pick kind! (Kate,
55)
14. Life is a fight, and even though it seems like you're going to get
knocked out, you must keep on fighting! (Frank, 17)
15. Even a snake's a saint unless stepped upon. Learn to forgive
people who hurt you, hate is like holding onto burning coal.
(James, 32)
16. I have taken noticed that the deeper I know about myself, the
clearer I understand others. (Sambo, 25)
17. Make Jesus your best friend. With faith, let Him guide and direct
you in all you do. It's guaranteed to work that way. (Ras'Mel, 46)
18. Change is the only pemanant thing in life. (Malik, 28)
19. Always put yourself in the other's shoes, if it hurts you, it probably
hurts the other too. (Shashank, 19)
20. Success is a game. The more you play the more you win. The more
you win the more successfully you can play the game. (Durga, 40)
21. Take the stairs. There is no elevator. (Anonymous)
22. Years at school will seem short compared to a life time of
minimum wage jobs. Get a good education, and achieve your
dreams! (Anonymous)
23. Always empty your cup, always ask for more knowledge so you
will be able to help yourself and others. (Ameen, 26)
24. Never be afraid to fail because through failure comes success.
(Shanterica B., 15)
25. I've learn that loving someone doesn't always mean keeping them.
Sometimes, it also means you have to let them go. (MJ, 28)
26. There are no things or powers in life that can offer you a hand to
your dreams except meeting new people who are better than you.
You always can learn something from them. (Dmitry, 16)
27. Dream big dreams, believe in yourself, trust in God, and work
hard so that those dreams can be a reality. (Natalia, 20)

1419
28. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that
money can't buy. (Ayesha, 15)
29. We regret day and night but overcoming those regret is not that
easy. (Aarushi, 14)
30. Live a life of purpose and love. (Anonymous, 37)
31. Life is the greatest teacher of its kind. It always teaches us to do
more. (Syed H., 46)
32. If you want something in your life you've never had, you'll have to
do something, you've never done. (JD Houston, 42)
33. My life experience is that I am learning to become more of myself
rather than comparing myself with other people. Other people
expect me to be like them, but I don't want to be like them, I just
want to be more of myself and to accept myself for who I am.
(Sharon N., 39)
34. I had my children very young and if I have managed to teach them
half of what they half taught me, then I have done a good job!
(Marisela, 35)
35. From King Solomon: This too shall pass. (Tapasya, 28)
36. Accept people as they are. (Anish B., 34)
37. You can't be what you can't see. If you see it... you will be it.
(Paula, 52)
38. When you're trying to achieve something, or improve, remember
that there are no limits, only expectations. Expect to do more, and
more you will do. (Sahil, 14)
39. The most funniest thing in life is doing what people say, you can't.
(Nandhu, 22)
40. Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed because having ups and
downs are always part of it just like a roller coaster ride. (Lorena,
32)
41. Do not find the reason to smile, just find the way. (Gaurav M., 24)
42. Love yourself without condition. (Sally, 38)
43. Past failures should never dictate who you are today or where you
are going. (Jackie, 35)
44. If it's out of your control, why fret about it? (Stacy, 24)

1420
45. A winner must first know what losing is like. Without failure,
there is no success. (Chima O., 30)
46. In everything that you do always give your 100% as if there's no
tomorrow. (Caloyski, 28)
47. Past records count for nothing when the race starts. (Henry, 23)
48. If you don't commit to anything, don't commit, but once you do
commit, don't live in the middle. (Bala K.)
49. If you can laugh together, you can work together. (Yuvraj K., 25)
50. The more you learn, the more you grow. The more you grow, the
more you earn. The more you earn, the more happier you become.
(Babukhan M., 40)
51. If you want to love people, never judge them. (Ashutosh,)
52. Do what you can for others since you know what you can do for
yourself. (Nana, K., 29)
53. Life is the reflection of your thoughts, so generate pure thoughts
to make life beautiful. (Sarita, 25)
54. In life, nothing is certain and nothing is perfect. Just rise above the
challenge. (Star, 32)
55. Impossibility is what nobody can until somebody does it. (Masak,
26)
56. Always aim high and aspire big but in the process remain
practical, to be happy. (Mukul, 26)
57. Don't let trouble, trouble you, until trouble troubles you. (Joe A.,
52)
58. Failures may be so hurtful and disappointing, knowing you did
your best in everything. But it doesn't mean life must end there.
Stand up and live. Keep the Spirit and confidence. Be strong and
Keep your faith by making the best out of it. For everything
happens for a reason, a reason to teach you and correct you and a
reason to bring the strength in you. (Florskie, 26)
59. Everyone has skeletons in their closets or personal demons they
fight but don't let that stop you from being successful. (Matthew
A., 23)

1421
60. Enjoy life and cherish it. Remember the good times, the bad times,
and worse times, because each one has made you a better person
and has made you grow. (Matthew A.)
61. Between what happened and what will happen is our choice. So
choose to be positive in everyday tasks. (Edwin J., 37)
62. Mind over matter. Matter is an illusion. What matters is mind.
(Yeshe D., 62)
63. Never regret, if it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience.
(Stacey, 33)
64. Life is full of fun if you learn to play with difficulties. (Mayank C.,
24)
65. Nothing changes if nothing changes. (Gina, 53)
66. I learned how to live my own dreams when I encouraged my son
to follow his. (Shenetta, 37)
67. A teacher is nothing but a clever student. (Mohammed M.,)
68. As people we tend to worry about the things that dont matter and
forget about the things that do. Enjoy your life to the fullest
because you never know when its going to end. So smile more,
love more and enjoy more. Dueling on things just ruins your life.
Being mad or upset with others for things they have done is just a
waste of your energy. You cant change the past or the mistakes.
You can only change your future. (Brian A.)
69. Life has taught me to always be myself. (Samio, 23)
70. Review your mistakes committed everyday and promise not to
repeat it again.(Pran, 25)
71. You're never too old to follow your dreams whatever they may be.
(Julie S., 55)
72. Love what you do, do what you love. (Soni, 33)
73. What a wonderful feeling to be alive. To be able to see the sun
shinning and to be able to make something positive happen for us,
our family, our community and/or our friends. (Juan J., 38)
74. Never forget those that gave you a helping hand, someday you will
need them again. (Ada, 22)

1422
75. Don't care what others think of you, and you will save yourself a
lot of mental energy that instead can be used to push you towards
success. (Neil, 19)
76. The more obstacles you overcome, the stronger you become.
(Kalu C., 33)
77. Life's a garden... dig it! (Harry B., 34)
78. People tolerate in life what they subject themselves to. (Kathleen
C., 26)
79. There is no alternative to hard work. (Babesri, 32)
80. Don't let things happen in your life. Instead make it happen.
(Ashok S., 27)
81. Never live your life compared to someone else's standards,
because for one, you don't know what their standards are, and
secondly, you are not them. Everyone has their strong points,
don't ever downgrade your own. (Gabby, 23)
82. You can never be happy if you've never been sad. (Matt,)
83. With hope and hardwork anything can be achieved. Don't be
afraid with results, it will come with the whole process of
commitment and persistence. (Dinesh B., 40)
84. Be willing to learn more about life in general. (Howard, 28)
85. Life is like a bicycle with one wheel in front of the other. You leave
tire marks of the past behind. You might break sometimes and
even have a flat tire. But you never run out of gas. (Amanda, 19)
86. kEep moVing forWard! (Kamla, 12)
87. Don't try to be popular, its no ones calling. (Joe, 47)
88. The more I give of myself unconditionally the more I seem to
receive. LIVING IS GIVING - GIVING IS LIVING :) (Colin,)
89. No one gets out alive, and there is no U-haul at the end of a funeral
procession - so, leave the best of you behind. (Tom)
90. When you stand on what you believe in, you can change the world.
(Gagan L., 24)
91. Always demand the impossible, dare to start that dream. (Chris Y.,
26)
92. What you think upon... grows! You'll attract more of what you
focus upon.. positive or negative.. It's your choice. Focus on what

1423
 you have and what's right, not on what you don't have and what's
wrong... And say thank you for what you have as often as possible..
it will change your life! (Kalf G., 42)
93. Perseverance will make you great. (Anbu, 50)
94. Life is a game of Chess, learn to play it wisely. (Dars M., 23)
95. Always tell an obstacle that you are bigger than it by overcoming
it. (Chuks O., 25)
96. If your standing in the crowd, you're doing something wrong.
(Fred, 17)
97. Never change your beliefs because someone else wants you to.
Change them only because you want to. (Izer, 23)
98. To have a long lasting relationship with anybody; always look out
for their strengths and less at their weakness. (Will, 24)
99. When you get a second chance in life, do not regret, hold it with
both bands and make things happen. Nothing is impossible until
you decide to stop trying! (Anonymous,)
100. I learned that life can sometimes be pretty tough but without
these challenges, it wouldn't be called life. The down's in life make
the up's much more enjoyable. (Mary,)
101. Passion is the overflow of what we are gifted in. (Buick, 37)
102. I've learned that the contentment of life isn't about what people
have to say about you, sometimes we have to be satisfied with
what we think we are, be it good or bad. We should not put our
happiness in someone else's satisfaction. (Anonymous)
103. Don't get a job doing what you love because you will learn to hate
what you loved. Instead find something that allows you to do what
you love during your downtime. (Jon S., 26)
104. Learning to live stress free and without negative thoughts, is the
key to staying positive. The key to staying positive, is living
through a lifetime of stressful and negative situations with a
positive outlook. (Mark, 52)
105. Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing. (Laurie, B., 52)
106. Life is like a ball in the field, the ball doesn't move unless the
player kick it, so the same to life. Don't allow people to control
your life. Your life is in your hands. (Maya S., 27)

1424
107. Tomorrow is a desire, not a promise. (DJ W., 31)
108. When you fall for a guy never, ever move to fast because he will
only hurt you in the end. (Leisha, 16)
109. You make your own purpose and trust with good intentions that it
is the reason for your existence. (Courtney, 23)
110. Winners don't count the days,they make the days count. (Harshal,
20)
111. If you see a rule that isn't good, don't follow it, reach the TOP and
then change it. (Dimps, 30)
112. You will feel that life was too short even if you live to 150 years
old. So please don't waste you time, it will never come again.
(Irfan B., 23)
113. Never just sit and dream. Set your dream and chase it 'till you
make it. Never think of giving up.(Nelson, 20)
114. I don't know what I can say, but I can say I don't know.it's the
result of life. (Farshad, 26)
115. If you're not willing to fight and die for your own life you're never
gonna be able to fully live. (Juan, 17)
116. Don't react fast. Respond only after you understand the situation.
Don't react if you can ignore. (Roli, 26)
117. The thing about monkeys on your back, is that, they may throw
banana peels under your feet, causing you to slip, and inevitably,
fall. (Anivid, 45)
118. Once you count your blessing, you will lack nothing. Be motivated
at all times to do the wonderful things in life. (Somveer S., 40)
119. When you desire to learn about forgiveness and unconditional
love, the only teacher you need is your dog. (Sharon, 27)
120. Be happy with yourself. Dont let anyone control you and your
decisions in your life. You only live one time. Make the best of it.
Always have God with you. (Princesita, 27)
121. In life don't compare yourself with other people. Just live your life
according to your strategy and do not fake yourself for the sake of
impressing others. (Lungile, 26)
122. It surely takes a lotta patience to be patient. (Jules, 35)

1425
123. Life is a school where you are taught all that you never knew.
(Keyshia, 20)
124. Don't ever fret, just forget all the things that you regret because in
the end, it's the past. Don't live the next day like your last.
(Danielle, 23)
125. I would say purposelessness is the root of all evil.. have a plan
when u wake up in the morning. It's amazing what u can achieve
when you do. (Anonymous, 18)
126. Some people negate the fact that life is a two way street, cant have
good without evil, no love without hate, and no truth without lies.
(Colby J., 19)
127. Life is a journey full of obstacles. (Jason, 17)
128. Our background and things we did may have influenced who we
are, but we are responsible for who we become. (John C., 21)
129. One thing I learned from the past since my mom died is; to stay
strong from the Lord, because God is the God of all comfort.
(Shawn, 23)
130. Listen to your elders because they have lived regret. (Jason, 32)
131. We all start as beginners, but progress at different rates. (Miguel
S., 11)
132. Life is a journey. Keep walking until you reach your goals. Keep
walking. (Oscar, 27)
133. Life is what I make it, so mind how I take it (react to it)...I believe
God will allow us to keep going through the lesson until we pass it
in His eyes. (Javonna, 39)
134. Life is beautiful. Self belief, love, and faith will make you live life
without tension and worries. (Aushi, 25)
135. The harder the challenge the sweeter the victory. The higher the
climb the sweeter the View. Your greatest problem is your
greatest chlallenge which is your greatest opportunity. (Ari, 18)
136. I know everything is possible and achievable. (Enoch, 33)
137. Stop blaming others, stop complaining, stop comparing yourself
with others for everything that happens in your life. You just have
to stand up and show the world that your are born to win. We all
are wonderful the way we are. (Sahsi, 17)

1426
138. Don't waste your time while you're still young and fresh. Behave
well ... go to school and concentrate taking a good education.
Education is the best investment and tool to find a better job -
your dream. So, let your dreams come true. (Lynn C., 26)
139. It's not important how much time is being wasted; what's
important is what you do with the time that you have. (Wa)
140. Never follow the traveled path, because it will take you where
others has been. Create your own path to be followed by others.
(Somveer P., 40)
141. I have lived through something so terrible I wouldn't wish it on
anybody. But through that experience I've learned to forgive all
that was done and go on with life because I was strong enough to
pull myself through without hurting myself or others around me.
(Rachel, 17)
142. Many ask about the purpose of life but there are few who know
that the purpose is in living itself. (Rishabh S., 19)
143. Be Cool, Be Calm, Be Brave, Be Wise, Just Be. (Nathier G, 30)
144. You have all the talents needed in your environment and that is
why you were made to be there. Just a little confidence in being
yourself and keep moving you will be awarded a big gift from the
world (NJ, 17)
145. It doesn't matter how many times you fall; or how many paths you
have to take just to get there. Get up and make changes; learn
from the past. Act, Move, Learn beacuse no one can do that for
you. (CRS, 29)
146. Whenever you achieve your best, take a moment to congratulate
yourself, then aim to go one better. Nobody will be the best at
everything they try but that doesnt mean that you shouldnt try
your best at everything. (Anna)
147. Smile. Because somewhere it's making someone happy...and
pissing someone off at the same time. (Matthew, 20)
148. The more you get hurt the stronger you get. (BB, 21)
149. One thing I learned from angry birds (the game); same moves give
you same results.If you feel stuck in life simply change your move.
(Majd, 33)

1427
150. Even if being yourself pisses people off, be you. Do not let your
fears of not being everyone's friend stop you. Don't let it stop you
from being the true you. Once you find yourself and learn to live
with yourself, you will find where you belong. (Alex G., 17)
151. Love yourself first. (Simphiwe M., 21)
152. Be sure you know you deserve to be loved, be happy, healthy and
wealthy. If you don't think yourself worthy, ask "why?" and find
the ridiculousness in the answer. (Bogdan, 24)
153. Life's too short to worry about the mistakes you make. Just be
proud of who you are and live to please nobody but yourself. Just
live life like there's no tomorrow. (Anonymous, 16)
154. Life is not about winning, it's about not giving up. (Siddharth, 19)
155. Do all the good you can. By all the means you can, In all the ways
you can, In all the places you can, At all the times you can, To all
the people you can, As long as ever you can. (Annu, 30)
156. The youths are always learning, pass on what you can before it
dies. (Elijah V., 86)
157. Life is playing a game of Chess with God. After Every move of
yours , he makes the next move. Your move is called CHOICES and
his moves are called CONSEQUENCES. (Vivek, 33)
158. Do not try to be other people. (Ashwini K., 24)
159. In life, you get as many chances as you are will to take. (Monica M.
27)
160. Life is a commercial that will be over, but stay turned. Concentrate
on the present and never worry about the future. (Clement, 20)
161. In this life there is no person called loser, but there are people
who started from zero and stayed there. (Rowaishan, 24)
162. Every day may not be good, but there's something good in each
day; let's make the most of it; if you can't change it, change the
way you think about it. Believe the impossible and it will come to
pass. (Tara S., 39)
163. It's better to be a man people jealous over rather than the one
who gets jealous. (Ian I., 25)
164. Nothing is impossible, even the word says so itself 'I'm possible'.
(Dorothy, 19)

1428
165. It doesn't matter how many say it cannot be done or how many
people have tried it before; it's important to realize that whatever
you're doing, it's your first attempt at it. (Geolabious, 22)
166. The day you will stop looking yourself from others eyes,you can
achieve whatever you want. (Vineet, 20)
167. Pay your bills on time. (Maya M., 28)
168. Work for the job you want, not the job you have. (Zac, 25)
169. Life is always simple.. but WE make it 'complicated' by our
complex thoughts. (Aditi, 21)
170. Do not waste your time looking for a star to shine into your life;
instead, make yourself a star to shine into your own life. (Manuel
J., 20)
171. A challenge is only a new way to learn and grow. (Ryan,)
172. Fall in Love with the Creator of the Universe! He is also your
Savior. He knows you because He made you. It's not about religion
it's about relationship. (Cythnia, 49)
173. Don't always live with the all-or-nothing attitude.Often something
small is better than nothing at all. (Anonymous)
174. Live your life the way you want to and not the way others expect
you to live. (Shiv, 28)
175. Do not try so hard to fit in, because you were born to stand out!
(Annielace, 53)
176. The greatest lesson I have learned is to walk in someone else's
shoes. This expands our moral awareness. (Jahlion T., 17)
177. The past has the potential of repeating itself. (Ernest, 31)
178. Life moves on, don't keep your problems. (Jake, 36)
179. Life is like an ice cream. Enoy it before it melts so make your each
day happy and free. (Chirag, 23)
180. Do what you want to do and don't let other opinions change that.
(Filbert, 15)
181. You're beautiful. Society is the ugly one. (Mary, 26)
182. Live your life how you want to live it, not how people want you to
live your life. (Danielle, 17)

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183. Many people go through life jealously guarding a jewel that
nobody wants. Share generously and it comes back to you many
times over. (Madam Mel, 67)
184. Life is special, don't waste a second of it. (Stephanie, P., 17)
185. Enjoy life because we might not have the chance to do it
tomorrow. (Ash, 17)
186. Be honest all the time. (Alvie, 17)
187. Live in the moment; even if that means doing nothing. (HG)
188. Life is what you make of it, so I mind how I react to it. I believe
God will allow me to keep going through the lesson until I pass it
in his eyes. (Marsha, 42)
189. God determines your fate you determine your life's road. For
every road is a stepping stone. (Heather, C., 40)
190. There are very few things in life worth ever really getting upset
about. (Innessa, K., 19)
191. Watch out because what goes around, really does come back
around. (Anonymous, 18)
192. Give your best in whatever situation you face in life so that you
don't have to be surprised of the best you get from life. (Mayuresh,
D., 22)
193. Life is like a river flowing, if you don't swim against the current it
will take your against your hopes. (Thatayaone, M., 27)
194. Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
(Gary, 45)
195. If you spend your life, respecting others, all in good taste, doing
your real best and by doing this reaching your potential, but most
importantly spending life loving others, even the difficult ones,
who teach us, and being loved, that's truly a rich life. (Ciara, 19)
196. Every mistake is a lesson to learn from. (Collin, 18)
197. Things change as well as people, but that's the thing about life. We
must learn to deal with it. (JPC, 16)
198. Keep your chin up and you will succeed. (Gabster, 11)
199. Time keeps moving, whether you are or not. (Dakota S., 16)
200. Money can't buy you love or true happiness, but it can give you
choices. (Tony, 42)

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201. When you make the friends of your life, you'll know them because
they won't judge you when you screw up, they won't complain
when you whine to them, and they won't attempt to comfort you
when you're inconsolable. They'll tell it to you straight up, no lies.
And when you're starving, they'll sit there, grin, and eat the very
last bag of Cheetos. (Maddie F., 12)
202. If you're working towards a common goal - why not work
together? (Shari B., 46)
203. You must respect yourself before others can respect you. (Welile,
22)
204. He who has health has hope and he who has hope has everything
and that everything includes wealth; so in your struggle for a
wealthy life, do not lay down your health (Estell, 62)
205. We are our own worst enemies. We are too hard on ourselves. We
easily forgive others but ourselves. Learn to accept what ever
comes our way. (Akwasi O., 50)
206. It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies but a
great deal more to stand up to your friends. (Katie, )
207. You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone
who can be loved. The rest is up to them. (Joshua)
208. Independence is individuality, give yourself the gift of
responsibility. Do the things your never dreamed you could.
(Shannon, 21)
209. If you find yourself trying to hard to be yourself, just turn your
attention in your own direction. Do what pleases you and that in
itself, will be pleasing to others. (Shannon, 21)
210. Sacrifice is an option, happiness is your choice. (Princess F)
211. Always be ready to learn and never regret. What's the best way to
learn than from your own mistakes? You learn a life lesson with
every mistake. (Jeevi, 15)
212. It is not always you hit the iron when it is hot, instead hit the iron
so hard that it becomes hotter. Every problem is a business
opportunity, be cautious to grab it. (Somvir P, 40)
213. The greater the effort , the greater the reward. (Justin, 16)
214. Money isn't everything, because it can't buy love. (Oshai L.)

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215. Life is like coin; you can spend it anyway you want but you only
spend it once. Don't regret the way you spend that coin and enjoy
the process of spending that coin.(Francisco Q., 20)
216. Every day is a step, if you fall learn from it and fix it. Be patient,
one step at a time is the best pace you can go. (Ravinder, 18)
217. The hardest thing in life is finding out who we are. Every person is
special and unique. Remember this: In thousands or even millions
of years of human existence there has never been a person like
you and there won't be for another thousand years. The worst
tragedy in life is that most people live their whole lives and die
without knowing who they are. Only by answering this age old
question will we be able to live our life with passion and purpose.
You are special. Don't waste it. (Paul C., 50)
218. When you are trying to be good at something, keep in mind that
only the single very best person has nobody that is better than
them. Don't let your failures trouble you. (John)
219. Life is a lesson itself, you learn it won't be fair, not everyone will
have the same chance of success, you will learn that the world is
filled with hate, envy, war, and you will learn that the world is
filled with love, peace, and friendship. (Robby V., 14)
220. Don't let the bad things in life bother you. Keep it real and be
happy because getting worked up about the small things is a waist
of time you will never get back. And tomorrow's never promised
so make the best of today. And then when tomorrow doesn't come
for you, you will have no regrets. (Chance, 16)
221. In life you have to be like a postage stamp and stick to something
till you get there. (Unknown)
222. Attempting to appeal to everyone, will in the end, cause you to
appeal to no one. It also makes you lose yourself in something you
are not. (Timothy W., 18)
223. To live a day saying "I've done nothing extraordinary in my life."
Is to live a day where you're trying not to make a difference.
KNOW that you are extraordinary. Make a difference. (Timothy
W., 18)

1432
224. The person that will make you the happiest, will also make you
the saddest. (Jess, 17)
225. Expectations in personal life and desperation in professional life
has always lead me to unhappiness. (Gopi)
226. We truly are all equals. Never act like your higher than somebody
else because we all came into this world the same way, and you
could easily end up like them too. (Amber, 16)
227. Count your Blessings not your stressings! (TJ, 31)
228. Learning to trust again can be the hardest thing anyone could ever
do. (Megan, 12)
229. Never forget the impossibility of our planet, hurtling through
space, and cling to the surface. And every minute is wonderful.
(Bella H., 16)
230. While dealing with labourers, remember before extending
concessions"what you give as a concession today to one person,
would be claimed as a matter of right some body else. therefore,
be careful while promising to labourers. (Ramanathan, 71)
231. Even if a lie seems small, it's certainly big enough for you to later
regret telling it. (Tamara, 16)
232. Never change for anybody because someone out there is looking
for someone like you. (Elizabeth, 20)
233. Never pour spaghetti down the sink disposal. (Zander, 19)
234. If life was perfect we would never have a chance to find ourselves.
(Anonymous, 22)
235. If you find something different, cherish it for it may be gone
someday. (Ron, 17)
236. Life is a juicy fruit, just suck the sweet nectar out of it. (Sphiwe M.,
32)
237. If there's only one person you can count on, let it be yourself.
(Olivia, 20)
238. Family First. (John R., 19)
239. Life is too short and worry to much. Live life meaningful and with
a purpose, it's the ultimate goal. (R, 40)
240. Whenever youre facing a difficulty in life, simply tell youself, "It
could have been worse." (Sunra, 26)

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241. Opportunities are just at hand...all you have to do is to be on guard
so it wont pass you unknowingly. And once you have them, cling
on and treat it like a precious gem. (Omar)
242. People should'nt dwell on the past. Its enough to try your best in
all that you're doing now. There's sunshine in every darkness.
(Apsara, 21)
243. Life is fragile, handle with prayer! (Laine L., 12)
244. There is only 1 way to succeed in anything, and that is to give it
everything. (Aka K., 28)
245. Hard work will always pay off in the end; in ways better than
ever! (Katie, 14)
246. Live is a river we all flow on. I've learned to appreciate the peaks
and not to worry about the valleys as much. (Melissa K., 12)
247. You can't change people but you can change yourself and be a
model for others. (Genky N., 22)
248. What the mind harbors, the body manifests. We are what we
think! (Joseph G., 47)
249. If you want to come up in life listen to the inner voice rather than
everyone around as they WILL mislead. (Shanthi S., 42)
250. Live your life as a dream so you could always have something to
look forward to. (Abraham C., 16)
251. Life is too short, don't waste your time watching and judging
other people's lives! (Michelle, 30)
252. Never trust anyone. (Fa, 17)
253. Off in the distance there are calm waters...( my divorce mantra)
(Robin, 50)
254. There are no mistakes in life, only challenges that you hardly
passed. (Gina, 26)
255. Don't let people bring you down everyone shines in there own
way. (Angeliek, 11)
256. Don't take things for granted you never know when you will lose
something that you never expected to lose. (Shelby M., 16)
257. Depression only sets in when we look at the situation in our own
perspective, rather than that of our Lord and saviour. (Penelope,
23)

1434
258. Keep a positive adittude even during adversities. Ban negative
energy out of your life and you won't lose. (Rene)
259. When people treat you poorly, keep being who you are; don't let
people bitterness change the person you are. (Reese, 27)
260. Life is like learning to ride a bike, if you don't pedal you don't get
anywhere. (Paul V., 64)
261. Guard your heart. Because after all those who truly love you are
the ones willing to climb over the walls you've built up around it.
(Ashley, 14)
262. We make our own decisions, we can't blame other people when
things go wrong in our lives. It's up to us, if we something of your
life, up to you to make it happen. We can't blame our
circumstances or our family. We are all born into particular
family. You can't choose your family but you can choose what you
want to become. Everybody gets an opportunity but it's always up
to the individual to make the most. (Herman M., 19)
263. Opposition is a catalyst to progress for those who are on good
course and those who have something to deliver. If no one backs
you up God certainly will. (Adaji, 35)
264. Always trust your inner voice, as it is the the inner compass that
empowers us to align our lives to perfection, not the external one.
(Anupam, 39)
265. Where there is a will, there is more than one way. (Don O.)
266. The good news is that you don't know how great you can be! How
much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your
potential is. (Kathy, 21)
267. Life is to live and enjoy. You could enjoy life if you are a
contributor/giver. At the same time, remember that we are
interdependent beings. We need one another. So in short, love and
be loved; that's the way to live an enjoy life. (Karthik S., 35)
268. Always be honest and logical in your words and your actions and
society can never hurt you. (Sebastian, 19)
269. When through our life's journey, we become selfless, forget our
own worries and be compassionate towards others, pray for

1435
 them, God will always take your worries & problems off your
mind, your shoulders. (Evangeline R., 66)
270. They say opportunity knocks....well I say not everything that
knocks is an opportunity, I'm looking through the peephole first.
(Regina, 34)
271. The good guy doesnt always win. (Alex L., 16)
272. Don't hold on love too tight for you may strangle it. (Amina M., 50)
273. Even if it seems like everything is falling down and crumbling
around you, don't forget Newton's Law of Physics: For every
action there is an equal and opposite reaction, so soon everything
will go your way! (Sarah, 12)
274. Count your blessings and write the number down. You will be
surprised by how large it is. (KN, 40)
275. Just Don't put off what you can do this day, this week, or this year
because "one" of these days could end up being "NONE" of these
days! (Gabrielle, 46)
276. Reading can open doors that no keys can. Worship books.
(Sangita, 40)
277. Be who you are, because the kind of people who will only accept
you if you're someone you're not aren't worth earning your
acceptance. The kind of people who love you for who you are
don't need to be impressed with falseness. Be who you are.
(Sarah, 12)
278. There are no shortcuts in life to any place worth going to.
(Michelle, 33)
279. Love is blind not by your vision but by your heart. (Ranjini R., 19)
280. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. (Summer, 20)
281. A change for no change is no change at all. (Steve, 68)
282. Honesty leads to trust, truth leads to security and lie leads to
heartache. Remember not to allow anyone to be your everything
because when they're gone, you have nothing. (Noelle, 25)
283. If it won't matter in a year, it's not worth worrying about. (Claire,
19)
284. A vision and a mission are useless without ambition. (TJ)

1436
285. Keep your eyes on your opponent's eyes, don't blink, don't look
back. Be a SEAL. You already won. (Belkys, 48)
286. It takes as much energy to smile and think positive as it takes to
be sad. So get up, take a good look in the mirror and smile!
(Ingeborg, 21)
287. Have faith in God, love and respect all,aspire and work for the best
and glorious in life! (Dr. Rathore, 47)
288. The lesson will keep presenting itself until it is learned. Pay
attention to what your experiences are trying to teach you.
(Ginger L., 40)
289. 10,000 ways to tell a lie and only one way to tell the truth! Life
lesson, just tell the truth! (Jasper, P., 41)
290. Make failure your best friend and rejection your middle name.
(Janet L., 31)
291. Don't be the first person in everything. It only gets you more envy
from friends. (Getu, 43)
292. Feel strength from knowing weakness, laughter and charity from
knowing sadness, and wisdom from learning from mistakes.
(Steve A., 48)
293. Knowledge is good to have yes, but don't get so caught up in
trying to get it that you end up losing a part of yourself.
Sometimes ignorance is truly bliss. (Sam, 18)
294. Dont let opportunity pass. If you have it grab it. Its a waste of
time regretting why you did not do it. (Aimee, 39)
295. Love. (Olivia, 17)
296. In life we're taught to love the smile of the world, but the most
important one is in the mirror. (Nick M., 25)
297. Success and failure are equally available to all. Your daily choice
determines where you belong. (Chika A., 40)
298. I wish I knew now what I thought I knew then. (Kirby, 47)
299. Remember that your life is always Good & Better, than the one
who is hungry without anything. (Chethan N., 25)
300. If you feel like your life is all uphill, here's the thing, the view from
the top is amazing! (Sharon, 35)

1437
301. Life may not treat you well if you don't treat her well. For all you
are taking from her at least give her something. (Olu, 44)
302. Things you do make you who you are. If you don't like who you
are change. (Megan, 15)
303. The most important thing to do after you get out of a relationship
is to stay in one with yourself. (Jess N., 17)
304. If someone does something that upsets you, try to understand
why they did it. If you can understand it, you can let it go.
(Mikaela, 14)
305. Dreams don't only have to exist when the lights are out and you
eyes are shut. (Christina, 16)
306. To say people can't change is not true. They just have to want to
do it bad enough and need to do it in their own time. (Michelle,
35)
307. Never expect more than you know one will give, and you will
never be disappointed. (Meshell, 44)
308. You will only past onto this world once, so make the most out of it
by loving deeply, showing kindness and living each day as if its
your last with Jesus holding your hands. (Jennie, 30)
309. Never get too attached to anything . Anything . People, especially .
You feel like there never going to leave your side until they say
goodbye. (Gisselle, 13)
310. Don't tell you problems to anyone for 70% don't care and 30% are
happy for having such problem. Keep your faith in God and you
will never be disappointed. (Omar B., 26)
311. Sometimes life may knock you down but just pick yourself back
up otherwise, what's the point of continuing to live. (Divinia, 13)
312. Take a closer look and use your heart to feel, there's more to life
than we've ever realized. (Lyz, 18)
313. Fate brings people together, so we should make the best out of it.
(Celeste, 17)
314. Life is to be lived to the fullest and to leave a great legacy after
you. Because no one remembers what you leave with them but
what you leave IN them - that's your legacy. (Oluseyi, 36)

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315. Life is like skydiving, you lunge forward and hope for the best.
(Mario, 15)
316. Life is meant to be tough, to challenge you, and to make you
stronger but sometimes, it's OK to let go of some people that
meant a lot to you, to help them understand your value and
importance in the future. (RD, 23)
317. I can forgive & forget easily until someone reminds me of what I
was forgiving. (Connie B., 43)
318. Comfort zones are never comfortable. They are the biggest
obstructions to your growth. (Aditi, 35)
319. Don't give a dog your money. (Quentin, 15)
320. If you act "AS IF" in life you will eventually "BECOME". (MC, 42)
321. Never pretend to be someone else, let people know the real you
because someone in this world loves and accepts u for who u are.
being somebody else doesn't make u happy. You're just like
insulting ur own self, do the thing u want, things u love to do and
never have regrets. (Mae, 15)
322. You choose who you love. (Meg, 18)
323. Family above all. (Daisy, 26)
324. Don't try to cheat in school because you can't cheat life. (Tiffeny,
13)
325. The sky will never be the limit you can go infinity and beyond and
still go farther and succeed beyond imagination. (Tiffeny, 13)
326. Forgiveness is not an emotion but a choice. (Vanessa, 23)
327. Everyone deserves a second chance to make a first impression.
(Karl W., 57)
328. You get what you give, meaning you reap what you sow. (Dwight,
56)
329. Never regret that you once loved with all your heart. (Jowein, 25)
330. Along your journey of life, there will be suffering, pain,
disappointments and even obstacles, but never give up before you
reach your destination; you might be much closer to success than
you can imagine. (Fezz, 35)
331. Stay in school. (Alex, 14)

1439
332. The true meaning, value and purpose of life, is to share the
greatest part of ourselves with others - the world around us.
(Akin, 37)
333. Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons. (Sherlyn T., 22)
334. Enjoy your age and live every minute of it cause you wont live the
same age again. (Heather, 17)
335. It's not all about looks. (Lisa, 40)
336. In life There is no Good days or Bad days. There is only days, Good
or Bad depend on how you want it to be. So if you want every day
could be a GOOD DAY. (Pat, 23)
337. As soon as you start each day, tell yourself that you're going to
have a good day (and try to believe it). You really will. It works
every time. (David L., 23)
338. Comparing yourself today, to your past self, is useless. You will
hate who you've become, because the past person is usually
better. (Myr, 17)
339. True love is not being able to sleep because reallity is finally
better than your dreams. (Jeremy, 28)
340. In all things, good and bad, give thanks. (Stacia W., 22)
341. Work hard while you're young. (Rose, 18)
342. You always have a choice, and your choice will make a difference.
(Adones, M., 30)
343. Be careful not to kick someone who is down, because they may get
up again. (Deb, 42)
344. You can never give up on anything or anyone you believe in, but
on the same note, you can not let who or what you believe in hold
you back when the time is not right for what you know should be.
(Shelly, 43)
345. I believe every situation happens for a reason, but every choice is
our own. (Heriberto R., 18)
346. You cannot go to a better position unless you are tired of the
position you are in. (Norman, 19)
347. The only person you're hurting is yourself, when you let little
things in life piss you off! (Ridhi, 17)
348. Sometimes you need to lose in order to win at the end. (Noga, 33)

1440
349. Lower your expectations if you don't want to get disappointed.
(Johanna C., 39)
350. You can't control how other people act and behave, but you can
control how you react. (Johanna C., 39)
351. Don't part with God because of life challenges. (Tshipidi,)
352. Learn to love and appreciate yourself unconditionally, its the only
way you can learn to love and appreciate others unconditionally.
(Boatametse, 31)
353. When looking up on the sky, know that God is always there and
even next to you then your day will go peaceful. (Debbie, 49)
354. There is no truer sentence in our world today than: "Love ya don't
tell ya enough". Use it, it's not only true, but makes people smile.
(Jeff, 37)
355. I have come to realise that love is a simple thing but hard to
understand often times. (Ezekiel I., 31)
356. I am not married but when it comes to love issues, my advice is
"marry your best friend and not your most beautiful friend cox
your best friend may not be your most beautiful friend and your
most beautiful friend might not be your best friend." (Ezekiel I.,
31)
357. Dancing is always free. (Deb, 52)
358. Success is sweet, if you sweat. (C., 25)
359. Love your sister and your brother, love you friend, I have just
buried mine and he was the best friend ever, never go home on a
row cos you never know if its the last one you,ll ever have, live as
god taught us to live and you will never go wrong. (Teresa E.)
360. I learned this lesson when I was in graduate school and asked the
woman in charge of the xerox machine to make a copy for me. Her
response was to leave it in the box and pick it up later. If you give
someone a little authority, they go nuts abusing that authority.
(Mark W., 64)
361. Always learn new things, empieza por un idioma, it's always a
good thing to know what other people in different countries are
saying, sabias? (Fernando, 19)

1441
362. Love comes out of the window when poverty knocks at the door.
But other people believes that when poverty knocks, it punches
on you but you have to knock it out with patience and
perseverance. (Julie P., 59)
363. The hardest realization is that you can't change or control
anyone's behavior or choices but your own. (Peggy M., 53)
364. To know the REAL you is to REALLY love you. (Micheala)
365. Life is the longest thing you'll ever do so don't regret. (Shannon,
16)
366. Advice is what we ask for when we know the answer, but wish we
didn't! (Anonymous, 36)
367. Life is more bearable, if it's lived lightly. (Frederick V., 21)
368. Learn to love at an early age... the people that you pass up might
just be the people made for you but you wont know that if you
don't know how to love them the right way. (Christian, 14)
369. Never take dieting advice from a fat person. (Alana, 36)
370. Life's too short to play silly games. (Marlayne, 17)
371. It's not about winning as an individual, it's about trying as a team.
(Lexi, 23)
372. Be happy and don't worry about things that you can't control. You
should be concerned but not worried. (John P.)
373. Life is how you make it. You have to know the System and beat it.
(Anonymous, 42)
374. Never expect anybody to say, think,or do anything. (Veronica, 18)
375. Life is a fight, and even though it seems like you're going to get
knocked out, you must keep on fighting. (Jorge, 15)
376. Some people say "blood is thicker than water", I say "LOVE is
thicker than them both." meaning like a spouse, you can love
someone just as much if not more though they're not blood
related. (Cole, 32)
377. Be honest. It builds trust. (Annie, 19)
378. When you go back to the place you started from and see the
difference in the things you did you can be sure you have
definitely come a long way and that in its self is a sign of change.

1442
 And any change is better than no change. Stagnation is death
blow. (San, 26)
379. Life is but a fleeting moment in time, so let your spirit burn
brightly for all to see. (Vinnie, 65)
380. Every time I trust people they teach me why I shouldn't. (Sukanya,
17)
381. Only those who pay the price win the prize and with God all
labour is profit. (Ngozi, 30)
382. It's never too late to cut out the negative people in your life.
(Clarissah, 37)
383. The best things in life are very hard to achieve. You can do it.
Don't expect mommy and daddy to achieve YOUR greatness.
(Coach Cline, 39)
384. Life is simple. Just follow the heart that God gave you. It's the only
best thing that you can ever do. (Ray F., 26)
385. Judging others is the greatest mistake I ever made. It wasted my
time. It hurt me and it hurt others. It is not my job to be the judge.
I am a terrible judge. People want to be accepted forgiven and
loved, not picked apart and judged. (Jane, 50)
386. Sometimes you just have to just try imagine yourself in someone
life for a day, if it hurts you, it probably hurts them. Compassion is
something we have to little of I have lived through all kinds of
things life has given me. But through that experience I've learned
to forgive and all that was done and go on with life. Life is to short
for anger by the time you want to say I love it maybe to late.
Forgive and just hold on to life make the best of it. (Blanche, 54)
387. The best of you lies in your best decision, not in years on Earth or
energy available but commitment put into your decision. (Don D.,
27)
388. Always Keep Your Self Respect. Dont Love anyone more than
yourself... be happy (Anny, 28)
389. Life is like a game, you when some and lose some, but never give
up. (Marcos G., 19
390. There are no wrong decisions. We just think it's wrong because
we aren't satisfied of its results. (Janna A., 20)

1443
391. We choose to make things COMPLICATED. :) (Janna A., 20)
392. My mother told me, " I should have started living for joy sooner",
so i started living for joy, right that very moment and for as long
as i live. (Paul, 22)
393. You are smart, you are funny and damn it, people like you. (Paul,
22)
394. Life can be hard but you will improve as it goes on. (MH,)
395. Everything happens for the best. (Amanthie W., 26)
396. We're all weird. It's just who's willing to admit it that makes us
normal. (Kat G., 18)
397. Never sign any paper without an attorney! (Travis, 21)
398. You will not get to your destination if you pay attention to every
dog that barks. (Rovz, 20)
399. Never make decisions based on what others may think. Do what
feels right in your heart. (Inahat, 19)
400. Time is one of things in life that once gone never come back again.
(LastDesertMan, 35)
401. I learned that researching / reading is the way out of ignorance.
(Christian, 23)
402. Think twice before you text or email.you might regret it later.
(Anonymous)
403. Once you stop trying to impress others and start to be yourself is
when you'll truly become happy. (Colin, 18)
404. Life is a story, make yours a best seller. (Jared, 18)
405. Don't stop just because something is in your way. (Allison)
406. Death is what makes life precious. (Anonymous)
407. However keen some may be to say "Life's what you make it", the
fact remains that some things in life are out of your control. Never
mind all this "You can do anything" nonsense. The one thing that
makes life a lot easier is when you accept that "It just is". (Hapless
Lummox, 42)
408. It's not where you go or what you do, it's who you take along with
you. (Natasha, 23)
409. There is no meaning to life, because its you who gives life
meaning. (Bruce W., 19)

1444
410. I always trust my selves: my soul, my spirit, my heart, my body,
my highest. (Richard, 47)
411. Life has taught me that the best I can be when I compare myself
with somebody is number two. Imitation is limitation. Choose to
be the best you were created to be. (Elias M., 20)
412. The best way to help yourself is to help someone else. (Laurie, 47)
413. Life, there is just one so it's better to enjoy it instead of to live it
sad. (Julie T., 12)
414. Life always sucks.. when one run out of juice. (Shaan, 33)
415. Life is great in all terms. There is no setback; those are only
lessons if you can learn. (Vishal B., 26)
416. To dominate without violation is an art form. (Vivian, 41)
417. If you let fear take over, it will take you to places you never want
to be. (Ann, 20)
418. Walk slowly, get that tattoo, watch the sunrise, write letters, skip
rocks, call your mom, jump off cliffs (into water), kiss a stranger,
journal, ride with the windows down, talk to old people, smile at
strangers, eat lots of ice cream, viva. (Kelcany, 20)
419. Never allow misery to be included in your life decisions. Don't be
swayed by what other people think of you. Know what you love
doing! Sometimes what may not work for others may work for
you. (Malone, 24)
420. Pay the price. It's always worth it, even if only to yourself.
(Damon, 38)
421. The day is how YOU make it, so make it a good one! The outcome
of every situation that comes your way, is completely up to YOU!
Make it good, or make it bad, choice is yours. (Beth, 26)
422. Know who you are. Those who truly love you won't try to change
you. (Kathleen, 16)
423. Sometimes in life you have to completely break down and lose
everything. Once everything falls apart you can start all over again
, a fresh start. And you will realize that the things you lost were of
no use in your life anyway. (Wendy)

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424. Every meeting and connection you have is a miracle and with that
miracle we grow bigger, stronger, and smarter. Accept people you
meet and make the best of the time with them. (Sam, 18)
425. When you have to choose between you or your friend, it isn't
likely that there will be a right choice. So the best answer would
be to pick the choice that you could live with better. (Sam, 18)
426. I don't mind testing my waters as long as I know I wont drown in
it. (Anna, 22)
427. Hold to faith; faith in God; faith in yourself; faith in others; faith in
your dreams...it's the anchor that keeps us steady in the sea of life.
(Deborah, 52)
428. One of the most difficult things to do is to stop smoking. Never,
ever take that first puff, that is all it takes for a life long addiction.
(Hank, 51)
429. Don't save up money throughout your whole life. You might die
materially rich and could have used it to enlighten or help people
which is worth a thousand times more. (Andros, 51)
430. If you choose to be and/or do differently, don't whine because
people see and/or treat you differently. (Rhonda,)
431. Dont get upset about what others say or do. You are responsible
only for your own words and actions.

Source: http://www.motivational-well-being.com/life-lessons.html

432. If you can find a way to make what you love to do, what you do,
life will be a lot more fun and a lot less stressful. Even if you cant
do it full-time, find a way to do it some of the time.
433. More often than not we live to regret the things we didnt do, so
take risks and do those things that make you happiest, or that feel
right, right now.
434. Stop trying to impress other people, especially by being someone
you are not. In the end either the true you will come out, or you
will lose yourself. You can not please everyone, so aim to please
yourself instead.

1446
435. A smile is one of the easiest ways to have an impact on the world.
It takes little to no effort on your part and it can have a huge
impact on other people. Smiles are contagious, spread them to
everyone.
436. You always have a choice, you may not always like the choices you
have, but they are there and you have the ability to choose them.
437. No one can make you feel anything you dont want to feel. You are
the keeper of your emotions, you choose the way you feel. There
are billions of people in the world, are you going to let one person
ruin your day?
438. The less concerned you are with what other people think of you,
the more you actually enjoy life.
439. Family does not have to be blood. Family is a feeling, an emotion, a
connection. It is who you choose and what you make it.
440. Anger and Hate are useless, they do not affect the person at which
they are directed. In fact, 9 time out of 10 the only person they
actually harm is you. Learn to forgive those who have hurt you
and open your heart to less pain and more love.
441. The more you learn about yourself, the better able you will be to
understand others. The happier you are with yourself, the happier
you will make others. The more you enjoy yourself, the more
enjoyable life will become. You are the key to the life you long for.
442. You dont have to believe in God, but have faith in something, even
if it is faith in yourself, have faith and let it guide you.
443. Learn to accept change, it is the one thing in life that is constant.
444. Learn to see life through other peoples eyes, chances are you will
treat them differently when you consider how they feel.
445. Education is important. The length of time you have to spend
studying in school are short compared to a long life at a minimum
wage job.
446. Never stop learning, knowledge is more powerful than money and
it will make you happier in the long run.
447. Even in failure there is success. Take risks and learn lessons from
each mistake, when you fail get up and try again.

1447
448. Every person you meet has some thing they can teach you, you
only need to open your mind and accept the lesson.
449. Love, is a powerful thing, but loving something or someone does
not always mean keeping them around. Sometimes the strongest
love occurs in letting go. It is also through love that we learn the
most about ourselves. Dont be afraid to love because you might
get hurt, be afraid you might get hurt because you dont love.
450. Dont measure your wealth by your bank account, but rather by all
the blessings you have that money cant buy.
451. When you expect more, either from yourself or from others, you
will receive more in the end.
452. Spend less time worrying about the things you cant control and
more time enjoying those things which you can.
453. Avoid letting what others think of you, or what happened in the
past, define who you are today or who you become tomorrow.
454. If you have never been sad, bored, angry or lonely, you will never
be happy, have fun, feel love, or truly be with someone else.
455. The minute high-school ends it will not matter who was popular,
who was homecoming queen, and who was a geek. The real world
is far more realistic than the standards set inside the confines of
the classroom. Aspire to be the best you and you will succeed in
the end, no matter your place in the social school ladder.
456. Life is a reflection of your thoughts, so make sure they are the best
thoughts possible

Source: http://inspiredeverymoment.wordpress.com/
Posed by Katherine

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4.42 HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY PERSUADE,
INFLUENCE AND MOTIVATE PEOPLE
PERSUADING involves being able to convince others to take
appropriate action. NEGOTIATING involves being able to discuss
and reach a mutually satisfactory agreement. INFLUENCING
encompasses both of these.

These skills are important in many jobs, especially areas such as

marketing, sales, advertising and buying, but are also valuable in
everyday life. You will often find competency-based questions on
these skills on application forms and at interview, where you will be
required to give evidence that you have developed these skills.

1449
Persuading
One scenario where persuading
skills can be important is the job
interview, but the following tips
are valuable in many other
settings.
Focus on the needs of the
other party. Take time to listen
to them carefully and find out
about their interests and
expectations. This shows that you
are really interested in them and
they are then more likely to trust and respect you. It will also make it
easier for you to outline the benefits of your proposal in terms they
understand.
Argue your case with logic. Do careful research on your ideas and
those of your competitors (if there are any) and make sure that any
claims you make can be verified.
The more hesitant language you use such as "isn't it", "you know",
"um mm" and "I mean" the less people are likely to believe your
argument. (Journal of Applied Psychology)
Use positive rather than negative language: instead of saying
"You're wrong about this", say "That's true but ....", "That's an
excellent idea, but if we look more deeply ....." or "I agree with what
you say but have you considered ....".
Subtly compliment the other party. For example: "I see that you've
done some really excellent research into this". Even though they may
realise this is being done, evidence shows that they will still warm to
you and be more open to your proposals.
Mirroring the other person's mannerisms (e.g. hand and body
movements). A study at INSEAD Business School found that 67% of
sellers who used mirroring achieved a sale compared to 12% who did

1450
 not. People you mirror subconsciously feel more empathy with you.
However, it can be very embarrassing if the other person detects
conscious mirroring so it must be very subtle. You need to leave a
delay of between two and four seconds before the mirroring action.
Try to remember the names of everyone you meet. It shows that
you are treating them as an individual.
Negotiating to win
This involves pursuing your own interests to the exclusion of
others: I win: you lose! Persuading someone to do what you want
them to do and ignoring their interests: "keeping your cards hidden".
Pressure selling techniques involve this.
Whilst you might get short term gain, you will build up long term
resentment which can be very disruptive if you ever need to work with
these people again.
Negotiating jointly
This involves coming to an agreement where everyone gets what they
want,
reaching a mutually satisfactory agreement: win-win
You need to establish mutual trust, so it requires honesty and
integrity from both parties.
Both sides work together to come up with a compromise solution to
suit everyone's best interests.
Each party tries to see things from the other's perspective.
Assertiveness is the best way here: being passive or aggressive
doesn't help.
A strategy for successful negotiations
Listen carefully to the arguments of the other party and assess the
logic of their reasoning
Clarify issues you are not clear about by asking how, why, where,
when and what questions.

1451
 List all the issues which are important to both sides and identify the
key issues. Identify any personal agendas. Question generalisations
and challenge assumptions.
Identify any areas of common ground.
Understand any outside forces that may be affecting the problem.
Keep calm and use assertive rather than aggressive behaviour. Use
tact and diplomacy to diffuse tensions.
Remember :NO is a little word with big power!
Use both verbal and non-verbal persuasion skills. Use open,
encouraging body language such as mirroring, not defensive or
closed.
Know when to compromise. Offer concessions where necessary, but
minor ones at first. Distinguish between needs: important points on
which you can't compromise and interests where you can concede
ground. Allow the other party to save face if necessary via small
concessions.
Make sure there is an agreed deadline for resolution
Decide on a course of action and come to an agreement.
The final agreement needs to be summarised and written down at
the conclusion of the negotiations.
Plan for alternative outcomes if you can't reach agreement.

Jennifer Chatman (University of California, Berkeley) developed

experiments in which she tried to find a point at which flattery became
ineffective. She found out that there wasnt one!

Of course, flattery based on round the positive attributes and deeds of

other people is much more likely to be helpful and effective, and you
will feel better about it too!

1452
BASIC SKILLS: INTERMEDIATE HIGH LEVEL NEGATIVE
Use ideas SKILLS: SKILLS: STRATEGIES!
persuasively Gain support Develop Negotiating
Keep the Emphasise strategies. to win (see
attention of how costs Use a range above)
others. and of Gain power
Explain the problems can approaches by
benefits of be minimised and undermining
your Handle strategies to the position
argument. objections. gain support of others.
for ideas.
Develop a Challenge the Don't show
line of points of Give an respect for
reasoned view example of others views.
argument expressed by when your Put down
others. idea has been their ideas.
Put your used
points across Get other successfully Impose your
clearly and people to in some own views
concisely support your other rather than
Understand views. context. reasoning
the concerns with others.
Make
and needs of concessions
the person when
you are required to
dealing with. reach
agreement:
work for a
win-win
situation.
Form long
term
relationships

1454
The six laws of influence
In his seminal book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion Professor
Robert Cialdini gives six laws or rules which govern how we influence
and are influenced by others.
The law of scarcity
Items are more valuable to us when their availability is limited.
Scarcity determines the value of an item.
For example if a customer is told that an item is in short supply which
will soon run out they are more likely to buy it. Time also works here. A
time limit is placed on the customers opportunity to buy something.
Customers are told by the seller that unless they buy immediately, the
price will increase next week. Auctions such as ebay create a buyer
frenzy often resulting in higher prices than the object's value. If
something is expensive, we tend to assume that it must be of high
quality because it is in demand: one jewellery shop doubled the priced
of its items and were surprised to find that sales increased!
For example, if you let an interviewer know that you have other
interviews coming up, they will be more interested in you as you are
perceived as a sought after candidate.
The Law of reciprocity
If you give something to people, they feel compelled to return the
favour. People feel obliged to return a favour when somebody does
something for them first. They feel bad if they don't reciprocate. "You
scratch my back and I'll scratch yours".
After someone has turned down a large request, they are very likely to
agree to a smaller request. This is why shop staff are trained to show
the most expensive item first. A salesman who suggested a 3 year
warranty costing 100 found that most customers refused but were
then happy to buy 1 year warranty costing 30.

1455
The law of authority
We are more likely to comply with someone who is (or resembles)
an authority. In other words, people prefer to take advice from
experts". There is a deep seated duty to authority within us learned
from parents, school, religious authorities etc.
The law of liking
We are more inclined to follow the lead of someone who is similar
to us rather than someone who is dissimilar. We learn better from
people who are similar to us. We are more likely to help people who
dress like us, are the same age as us, or have similar backgrounds and
interests. We even prefer people whose names are similar to ours. For
this reason, sales trainers teach trainees to mirror and match the
customers body posture, mood and verbal style.
Research at the University of Sussex found that people more easily
remember faces of their own race, age group or gender than those
of others.
It's also very important to remember and use people's names. Others
are much more likely to like you and respond to you if you say "Hello
Sarah" rather than just "Hello".
The law of social proof
We view a behaviour as more likely to be correct, the more we see
others performing it. We assume that if a lot of people are doing the
same thing, they must know something that we dont. Especially when
we are uncertain, we are more likely to trust in the collective knowledge
of the crowd. This explains herd or lemming behaviour. For example
when there is panic in the stock market everyone follows everyone else
and sells, however great investors such as Warren Buffett, know that
this is the time when the best bargains are to be had, and instead, buy.
The law of commitment and consistency
Consistency is seen as desirable as it is associated with strength,
honesty, stability and logic. Inconsistent people may be seen as two-

1456
faced, indecisive and "butterflies": never committing themselves for
long enough to complete tasks. People will do more to stay consistent
with their commitments and beliefs if they have already taken a small
initial step.
If you can get someone to do you a small favour, they are more likely to
grant you a larger favour later on. If someone does you a favour, let
them know afterwards what happened: they will appreciate your
feedback and may be able to help you further in future.
We evaluate a university more positively when we have got into it or a
car we have bought when we own it. We look for the good points in the
choice we have made or items we have bought as this justifies to
ourselves our consistency of choice.
EXAMPLE ANSWERS FOR PERSUADING AND NEGOTIATING
QUESTIONS ON APPLICATION FORMS AND AT INTERVIEWS
EVIDENCE YOU COULD GIVE FOR PERSUADING SKILLS ON
APPLICATIONS OR AT INTERVIEW
Arguing your case in a seminar
Getting club members to turn up for events!
Fund-raising for a local charity
Telesales job in the vacation

EVIDENCE YOU COULD GIVE FOR NEGOTIATION SKILLS ON

APPLICATIONS OR AT INTERVIEW
Negotiating the rent with your landlord
Negotiating the late handing in of essays
Resolving disputes on a staff-student liaison committee
Resolving an argument between friends

1457
Describe a situation where you have had to NEGOTIATE a solution
to a challenging situation
CONTEXT
On arrival in Spain I was confronted with a completely different
organisational structure within the university. I was the first man to go
to Valencia from my university and my role there was to test this new
exchange programme and to negotiate the terms for future exchanges. I
found that the structure of the courses were to the disadvantage of the
Kent students and would affect the overall result of the degree. As the
spokesperson for the UKC students I had to influence both sides on
reaching a new agreement.
ACTION
I explained the situation to the academic staff at UKC and negotiated
new terms for the exchange programme.
RESULT
Being the spokesperson of my university, I successfully persuaded the
administration in Seville to accept these conditions during this period. I
learned that it takes sometimes a lot of time, effort and patience to
achieve common agreements, especially when two different cultural
backgrounds are involved.
How have you used your communication skills to PERSUADE
others to follow your lead?
CONTEXT
As a camp counsellor I was responsible for a hut housing a group of ten
children, helping the children settle in to the camp and encouraging
them to join in activities. The hardest part was getting the children to
keep the hut tidy and join in the daily 'household chores' session - a
problem which I found was shared by other counsellors.
ACTION
We decided to motivate the children by turning this session into an
inter-hut competition with a progress chart and prizes and arranged for
the camp director to carry out daily inspections. I produced a wall chart

1458
to show the points awarded to each hut and explained to the children
how the points would be won and lost.
RESULT
The competitive spirit transformed the children's attitude to tidying up
as each hut worked as a team to keep their surroundings clean and tidy.
There were no more problems with children 'disappearing' at clear-up
time & parents were amazed to hear how involved their children had
become in this activity.
Please describe a situation where you had to PERSUADE someone
to do something. How did you go about it? Were you successful?
CONTEXT
Last year I was living off-campus in a student house with friends. The
place was quite old and did not have a functional television aerial. I was
in charge of liaising with our landlord. I called him up to ask if he could
fix it for us.
ACTION
He was reluctant to do so unless we paid but I persuaded him finally by
saying that it would be beneficial for him as it would be easier to rent
the house out for next year. Also, it would be unfair on us to pay for an
aerial that we would only use for about nine months.
RESULT
I was successful with my persuasion and reason. The aerial was fixed at
no cost to us.

1459
4.43 The Minto Pyramid Principle
or the case for hierarchically structured thinking and communication
Imagine you receive this letter from Lucy.
What does she want to tell you?

Dear Shirley,
Remember last Saturday afternoon when I was playing in the park with
my boyfriend and you came over, and he told me that when my back
was turned, you kissed him?
And also, on Sunday when you came to my house and my Mom made
you a tuna fish salad for lunch and you said: Yech! Thats the worst
salad I ever ate!?
And yesterday, when my cat brushed against your leg, you kicked her
and threatened to sic your dog Monster on her?
Well, for all of these reasons, I hate you, and I no longer want to be your
friend.
Lucy

Wouldnt the message be far clearer if the letter were written that way?

Dear Shirley,

I HATE you. (Main statement or governing thought)

Here are my reasons: (Reasons supporting the governing thought)

1. You stole my boyfriend.
2. You insulted my mother.
3. You scared my cat.

1460
In the second letter, the hierarchy of Lucys actual thoughts becomes
more explicit and can be considered as a fictitious question-answer
dialogue with the addressee.

Lucy hates me.

Q: Why did Lucy write this letter to me?
I stole her boyfriend.
I insulted her mother.
I scared her cat.
A: Because ...
Q: Why?
A: Because ...

Any main statement can be either supported by an independent group

of arguments ...
So, whenever you read or a write a scientific paper, first distill the key
message, and then analyze or support it along a logical question-
answering pyramid.
REMEMBER :
Key message: First find or state the key message before you plunge into
details.
Questions: Ask questions before you give answers (even if its only in
your mind).
Pyramid: Envision the question-answering process to follow top-down
a fictitious logical pyramid structure*.
Source :
The Proseminar Quadrology (2/4) - Wolfgang Gatterbauer
http://education.dbai.tuwien.ac.at/wie/WS05/
http://www.dbai.tuwien.ac.at/staff/gatter/work/051104_The_Minto_P
yramid_Principle.pdf

1461
1462
5/ Coaching Documents
http://www.forestcottagecentre.com/docs/FCC%20Intake%20Package.pdf

5.1 EXAMPLE GENERAL INFORMATION

SHEET
Welcome to Forest Cottage Centre!
We offer personal coaching for parents who are working with
challenging children in their lives and are seeking hope and help.

With the support of Forest Cottage you will:

Respond to your child with specialized behavioural strategies.
Fill your life with purpose and hope.
Experience ongoing support in your parenting.
Strengthen your relationships.
Optimize the use of your unique talents, skills and resources.

It is the mission of Forest Cottage to offer hope and help as you create
the life you imagine.

The basics of our approach are:

Root building by focusing on self-care and strengthening your
personal foundation for life.
Growing new strategies to handle current situations, as well as
building long term dreams to provide focus and hope.
Forest Building, strengthening your attachments to others,
including your family, friends, and support system.

1463
Heres what some of our coachees are saying:

I couldnt have kept this child in my home without Tanyas support

- R.S., Foster Mother
Weve learned a whole new way of parenting and it works! D.T.,
Biological Father
Tanya works fast! S.G., Adoptive Mother
Wise advice H.S., Step-Mother
My child no longer pushes my buttons D.B., Adoptive Mother

Biography

Tanya Helton has over ten years experience in working with families
with special needs children. She has worked with parents, police,
schools, organizations, social services, and mental health agencies. Her
training includes a M.Sc. Criminology (Leicester), BA
Sociology/Criminology (Winnipeg), Certificate of Excellence in Non-
Profit Leadership and Management (Wisconsin), and Critical Incident
Stress (CIS) Debriefing Certificate (Justice Institute of BC). Through her
office, Forest Cottage Centre, Tanya provides life coaching to coachees
in-person as well as over the phone. As a coach, she offers support and
helps coachees to take care of themselves while developing strategic
parenting plans. The sibling of three adoptive children and the parent of
an adopted child (her niece), Tanya brings practical understanding as
well as a caring heart to her coaching.

1464
Frequently Asked Questions about Coaching

What is coaching?
Coaching is a new profession. Coaches come from a variety of
backgrounds, experiences and training levels. They help people rethink
their situation and their responses.

Coaches help people:

Help people set better goals and then reach those goals.
Ask their coachees to do more than they would have done on their
own.
Focus their coachees better to produce results more quickly.
Provide the tools, support and structure to accomplish more and
overcome blocks.

What is the basic philosophy of coaching?

We are all discovering what we really want and that we can get what we
want faster and easier by having a coach who has been there and who
can help us.
Forest Cottages basic philosophy is that parents need practical help
and support from a professional that truly understands what it is
like to live with a severe behaviour child.

How is coaching different from consulting? Therapy? Sports coaching? A

best friend?
Consulting: Coaching is a form of consulting. But the coach stays with
the coachee to help implement the new skills, changes, and goals to
make sure they really happen.
Therapy: Coaching is not therapy. We dont work on your past apart
from relating it to your future. We work on the parts of your life that
you want to move forward in not those causing or relating to deeper
psychological problems. We recommend working with mental
health professions, as needed, in addition to a weekly coach.

1465
 Sports: Coaching includes several principles from sports coaching,
like teamwork, going for the goal, being your best, etc. But unlike
sports coaching, most professional coaching is not competition or
win/lose based. We strengthen the coachees skills rather than
helping them beat the other team. It is win/win.
Best Friend: A best friend is wonderful to have. But is your best
friend a professional who you will trust to objectively advise you on
the most important aspects of your life and career? Have a best
friend and a coach.

What happens when you hire a coach?

You get a better life. You take more effective and focused actions
immediately.
You stop putting up with what is dragging you down. You create
momentum so it is easier to get results. The synergy that develops
with the coach keeps you motivated.
You set better goals than you might have without a coach.
You have support in place BEFORE you hit a crisis. And the work you
do now will reduce the impact and likelihood of a crisis later on.

Where does the coach focus with an average coachee?

We focus where the coachee needs us most generally on parenting
strategies that work with challenging children. And, we tend to weave in
the following discussions: Getting the coachees personal foundation
strengthened. Helping the coachee beef up their reserves. Helping the
coachee set goals based on their personal values.

Tell me more
A personal coach does just what an athletic coach or music teacher does,
only in a more complete and bigger way. A coach challenges you and
takes the time to help you develop the vision YOU dream of. A coach is
your partner in living the life you know you can fnd. A coach is someone
to hold you accountable for your life, to make sure you really do live up
to your potential, and encourage you along the way.

1466
 Most people believe that hard work and doing it on your own are
the keys to finding the life, success, money, or happiness that they
seek. They believe that a price must be paid to attain what they
want, and often that price is poor health, not having enough time to
enjoy life, and strained family relationships. The saddest part is that,
even though this effort may result in more of something, it is often
not the something you had in mind, and you are back where you
started, or worse, further from your real intentions.
Athletes and performers know about this trap. They know they need
someone else, a trained someone else to help them set goals,
discover real needs, and work effectively toward ultimate goals of
excellence. So, they are willing to hire a coach or a teacher. No
serious athlete or musician would expect to progress very far
without one.

What about people who are already doing great in their lives? Why
would they need a coach?
They might not need a coach. But it is helpful to find out Are they
doing what they most enjoy? Are they tolerating anything? Is life easy?
Are they going to be financially independent within the next 15 years?
Do they have what they most want? We have discovered that, often,
people expect more out of their lives. A coach can help in this process.

What does it cost to hire a coach?

Forest Cottage offers a variety of affordable options for coachees. Some
parents participate in free teleclasses or teleconferencing support
groups, others have occasional sessions ($75/hr), while others choose
weekly sessions ($250 - $500 per month for 4 sessions (1 hour/week)
with unlimited email support between sessions). Forest Cottage is
always open to developing a package that meets parents needs and
budgets. All coachees are welcome to use the toll-free number for
telephone sessions.

1467
Please call or e-mail for more information about our services.

Forest Cottage Centre

Phone toll-free 1-877-261-6361 Fax 250-785-0344
E-Mail Tanya@ForestCottageCentre.com
www.ForestCottageCentre.com
Forest Cottage

1468
5.2 EXAMPLE COACHING AGREEMENT
Coachee Name: _______________________________ This agreement
between Coach Tanya Helton (Forest Cottage Centre) and the above-
named coachee will begin on ___________________(YY/MM/DD) and will
continue for a minimum of three months.

Monthly services include four one-hour coaching sessions and

unlimited e-mail support between sessions.

The fee is $__________CDN (+ GST) per month payable by the first of each
month.

The services to be provided by the coach to the coachee is in-person of

by tele-coaching, as designed jointly with the coachee. Coaching, which
is not advice, therapy or counselling, and may address specific personal
or business projects or challenges in the coachees life and/or
profession. Other coaching services include value clarification,
brainstorming, identifying plans of action, examining modes of
operating in life, asking clarifying questions, and making empowering
requests. The coach will provide a toll-free number for the coachee to
phone during sessions, thereby eliminating long distance charges for
the coachee.
It is the coachees responsibility to call the coach at the agreed upon
appointment time. The coachee is also responsible for pre-booking four
sessions at the beginning of the month. Missed appointments will
attempt to be rescheduled for later that month based on coach
availability. These hours must be used prior to the end of that calendar
month; they will not be carried over to future months.

Upon completion of this initial 3-month contract, coaching will continue

on a month-to-month basis. The coachee and coach agree to provide one
another with a fourteen (14) day notice in event that either wishes to
cancel further services.

1469
The coach promises the coachee that all information provided to the
coach will be kept strictly confidential. Throughout the working
relationship the coach will engage the coachee in direct and personal
conversations. The coachee can count on the coach to be honest and
straightforward in asking questions and making requests. The coachee
understands that the power of the coaching relationship can only be
granted by the coachee and the coachee agrees to do just that: have
the coaching relationship be powerful. If the coachee believes the
coaching is not working as they desire, the coachee will communicate
this to the coach and take action to return the power to their coaching
relationship.

Our signatures on this agreement indicate full understanding of and

agreement with the information outlined above.

Coachee ______________________ Date (YY/MM/DD) ____________________

Coach_______________________ Date (YY/MM/DD) ____________________

Please mail to: 9412 112 Avenue, Fort St. John, BC V1J 2V9
for the coach to sign - a signed copy will be returned to you.

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COACHING AGREEMENTS

Becoming a coaching coachee is making a commitment to your own

growth. It is also a commitment between you and another person, your
coach. You are the driver of this coaching process. The following
agreements spell out our commitments to each other and will serve as
the basis for the coaching relationship we are entering.

I am committed to helping you become more fulfilled in all of the arenas

of your lifeyour full experience.

Our focus
The focus of this coaching is you. You create the agenda we will follow.
You complete the inquiries and assignments that we agree on. This is a
time to be selffull and to center solely on what you are needing and
feeling. Dont worry about pleasing me as your coach or asking me
about myself. Get comfortable with this being about you alone.
Additionally, know that coaches do not give advice or make promises
about outcomes what you get from this coaching is directly aligned
with what you put into it.

Confidentiality
Our relationship is completely confidential. I will not be telling anyone
you are my coachee and I will not reveal the content of our coaching
sessions to anyone. This is true even when your coaching is being paid
for by your employer. You are free to share whatever you choose from
our sessions with anyone. I do request permission to report your name
and contact information to the International Coach Federation for
ongoing certification
purposes.

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Feedback
Periodically, I will ask for feedback on my coaching, and I welcome this
type of feedback at any time. If I ever do or say anything that upsets you
or doesnt feel right, please bring it to my attention. I promise to make it
right for you and do what is necessary to have you be satisfied.

Time
Although coaching can address a short-term issue or a commitment
decision that needs to be made, the ideal commitment to the coaching
process is approximately four months.
That is enough time to establish a relationship, to experience success,
and to work through failures. It means that if the going gets tough, you
will stick with it long enough to see results. After the initial four-month
period, you can continue on a month-to-month basis. That said, some
coachees go month-to-month from the start, some make a one-year
commitment at the start, or
agree to any other span of time they believe is workable.

Sessions
Coaching sessions are 45 minutes, three times per month. At the end of
each month, we will select three dates for the following month. Ideally,
we will lock in a time that works consistently for both of us. With very
few exceptions, sessions are conducted by phone.

Timeliness
Please call me at our pre-designated time. If I do not hear from you by
15 minutes after our appointed time, I will have to charge you for the
time I have set aside in my day for your session. If ever you call me and I
do not answer, please leave a message. If I dont call you back within 10
minutes, your next session is free.
Payment At the beginning of each month, you will receive an
invoice for payment. Prompt payment is appreciated.

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Rescheduling
If you need to reschedule, I would appreciate 24 hours notice. I will do
all I can to reschedule within the same week. In our busy lives, each of
us occasionally will need to move a session. I will extend to you the
same courtesy and give you as much notice as possible when something
comes up for me. If we are unable to
reschedule a session that you have already paid for, we will bank the
session and your invoice the following month will reflect that.

Extra coaching
Call me between our scheduled sessions if you need a sounding board,
have a problem, or want to share a success with me. I have time
between our regular sessions to speak with you, if needed, and I enjoy
providing this extra level of service. I do not bill for additional time of
this type, but ask that you keep the extra sessions to less than 10
minutes. Also, contact me by email as often as youd like.

Completing
When either one of us decides it is time to end our coaching
relationship, we should advise the other person of our decision when
we have at least two coaching sessions remaining. This will give us time
to capture your learning and strategize for what is next in your life.

These agreements are not all-inclusive. Coaching is a dynamic and

personalized process. If something youve just read needs to be revised
to make you comfortable, we can do that. As other situations arise, we
will find a mutually satisfying way of handling them. These agreements
are simply the foundation of something that has yet to be built. Im
looking forward to creating that something with you.

Source: Full Experience Coaching.

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5.3 EXAMPLE COACHING
COMMITMENTS
I, ____________________________, (Coachee) am committed to creating a
coaching alliance with __________________________ (Coach). The coach
agrees to hold all content of our sessions completely confidential.

I commit to creating a successful alliance that supports me in reaching

my goals and living the life I want.

I agree to participate in this coaching relationship for a minimum of

three months.

I agree to shape the coaching relationship to best meet my needs by

- sharing what I know about my own motivations.
- co-designing structures that will support me.
- asking for changes if the coaching strategy is not working.

I give the coach permission to

- challenge me with powerful questions.
- make requests of me to take action on a goal.
- hold me accountable for taking actions to which I commit.
- speak to me in a straightforward and honest manner.

I agree to the following scheduling items:

- If I am late for an appointment, my session will be shortened.
- I will reschedule any appointment 24 hours in advance.
- I will give one months notice when I wish to end coaching.

I agree to the following business arrangements:

- I am entitled to two one-hour sessions per month.
- We will meet off site.
- I am entitled to unlimited email support.

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The services to be provided by the Coach to the Coachee is coaching.
Coaching is not advising, therapy, or counseling.
Coaching may address specific personal projects, business successes, or
general conditions in the Coachees life or profession.
Coaching includes value clarification, brainstorming, identifying
plans of action, examining modes of operating in life, asking clarifying
questions, and making empowering requests.

DISCLAIMER: The Coachee is the sole decision maker in the coaching

process. Any and all actions or consequences resulting from the
coaching session are the responsibility of the Coachee. The Coachee
releases the Coach from all liability pertaining to the services rendered
in the coaching relationship.
___________________________________________________________________
Signature of Coachee Date
___________________________________________________________________
Signature of Coach Date

Source: Meade Dickerson, Professional Executive

and Life Coach, Beyond Limits, LLC.
10 Steps to Successful Coaching Sophie Oberstein

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5.4 EXAMPLE ASSESSMENT FORM
5.4.1 PERSONAL INFORMATION FACT SHEET
FOREST COTTAGE FORM
All information will be kept strictly confidential.

Full Name __________________________

Name you like to be called __________________________
Home Telephone __________________________
Work Telephone __________________________
Message or Cell Phone __________________________
Fax Number __________________________
E-mail __________________________
Address __________________________
City __________________________
Region/Province __________________________
Country __________________________
Postal Code __________________________
Birthdate (Month and day) __________________________
Number of Children __________________________
Significant Others Name __________________________
Names and Ages of Children:
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
Diagnosis of Children (if seeking parent coaching):
_______________________________________________________________

How did you hear about Forest Cottage?

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___ Website
___ A friend told me - Please specify who*: _______________________
___ A Workshop
___ SNAP
___ Other: __________________________

* Those who refer coachees to Forest Cottage receive an Affiliate Award.

They will not be told your name.
* Notes: Please indicate any further information you wish the coach to
know on reverse.

Billing Information
I prefer to pay by:
* Cheque (Made Payable to: Forest Cottage Centre) - Must be received
prior to first session of each month.
* Visa MasterCard
Name on Card: ______________________
Billing Address (if different from mailing address):
________________________________________________________
Card Number: _______________________________________ Exp ____ / ____

I authorize (please check one) $80.25 ($75.00+GST) CDN per hour OR

$___________ CDN per month to be automatically billed prior to my first
session of each month. I understand that payments will continue as per
my contract for a minimum of 3 months and then monthly unless 14
days cancellation notice is given prior to the billing date.

Signed: ___________________________________________

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Outside Party
(please check one)
$75.00 per hour OR $_____________ per month
Bill to: __________________________
Contact Person: __________________________
Phone: __________________________

*NOTE: WRITTEN BILLING AUTHORIZATION FROM THIRD PARTY

MUST BE RECEIVED PRIOR TO FIRST BILLED SESSION.

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5.4.2 DIANA BAKER SELF ASSESSMENT FORM
Date:
Name:
Mob:
Tel:
Email:
Address:

Preferred method of contact:

Date of Birth:

Emergency Contact Person:

Relationship to you:
Their Contact mob:
Their Email:

Please fill in this questionnaire completely prior to your coaching

session with Diana.
Our recommendation is that you set aside at least one hour to work
quietly on your own to complete this form.
Please return by email to mrsdianabaker@googlemail.com so that she
has a chance to see it before your next session.

This form is confidential; it will only be seen by your coach.

WHERE AM I NOW?
As you fill in this questionnaire, begin by using an aerial viewpoint of
your own life.
It is rare that you get the opportunity to put distance between yourself
and your everyday concerns to make an honest and objective
assessment of the status of your life.

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Using a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being the highest), how would you rate
yourself against each of the following?

__ being a leader __ Sense of achievement

__ Career Development __ Job Security

__ Personal Direction __ Inner Peace

__ Physical Fitness __ Health

__ Challenge __ Community participation

__ Personal Effectiveness __ Relationship with Pears

__ Personal Relationship __ Relationship with self

__ Family Relationship __ Social Life

__ Personal Life Direction __ Integrity

__ Inspiration __ Confidence

__ Use of time and Talent __ Freedom

__ Succeeding __ Balanced Lifestyle

__ Commitment __ Creativity

__ Financially Security __ Stress levels (10 = low stress)

__ Wealth __ Happiness

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What do you consider your five major achievements of the past 12
months?

1. _________________________________________________________________
2. _________________________________________________________________
3. _________________________________________________________________
4. _________________________________________________________________
5. _________________________________________________________________

What have been the major disappointments over the same period?

1. _________________________________________________________________
2. _________________________________________________________________
3. _________________________________________________________________
4. _________________________________________________________________
5. _________________________________________________________________

Consider each of the major areas of your life. Briefly describe the status
of each:

Career: ___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________

Friends / Leisure: ________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________

List the topics, issues, areas where you would like particular attention
paid in this coaching programme.

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 ___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________

What are your particular skills, strengths and abilities?

___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________

What are your areas for development?

___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________

What specific objectives would you like to achieve as a result of your

participation in coaching?
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________

What success criteria will you use to measure the value of your
coaching programme?
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________

1482
These exercises are designed to enable greater reflection, an insight into
your current situation.
While allowing the coach to gain a greater understanding of how she
can support you.

Please make sure you have filled out all questions honestly and openly
as possible as this will allow for great success in all your coaching
sessions.

1483
 FOR MORE GREAT BOOKS ABOUT
COMMUNICATION, INFLUENCING, CONVINCING,
MIND READING, NONVIOLENT
COMMUNICATION, THE POWER OF WORDS,

VISIT

WWW.LULU.COM/SPOTLIGHT/JAIMELAVIE

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