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Faux cripples
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CAMPUS LIFE EDITOR
kpmail7@yahoo.com
In oui couniiy oui land of oppoiiuniiy and
fieedom eveiyone is supposed io be iieaied
equal So wly noi animals Suie wly noi I love
animals Dogs aie awesome Hoises aie pieiiy
neai ioo PETA agiees wiil me Tley ilinl
animals aie awesome ioo I love lindness io
animals and celebiiiies geiiing naled foi cam
paigns againsi ciueliy as mucl as ile nexi guy
And Im noi going io lie ile animal iescue com
meicials wiil Saial McLacllan aie ioucling
Howevei I love people ioo Some of my besi
fiiends aie people PETA doesni seem io slaie
ilose same affeciions Ai eveiy iuin iley seem
io iiy and undeimine any soii of equaliiy and aie
insiead aie lell beni on maling lumaniiy oui io
be beasily
Fiisi lei us examine PETAs Holocausi on Youi
Plaie campaign In ile campaign giaplic loi
iifying images ialen fiom conceniiaiion camps
aie juxiaposed wiil piciuies of animals in loi
iible living condiiions
Leis considei ilis foi a momeni PETA
is compaiing ile muidei of millions of
innoceni }ews blacls gypsies gays eic
io ile lilling of pigs foi food Aie we
seiious
Naiuially ile AniiDefamaiion League
came down pieiiy laid on ilis disgusiing
display Abialam Foxman ile Leagues
naiional diiecioi noi io meniion a
Holocausi suivivoi wioie in a siaiemeni
Tle effoii by PETA io compaie ile delib
eiaie sysiemaiic muidei of millions of
}ews io ile issue of animal iiglis is abloi
ieni PETAs effoii io seel appioval foi
ileii Holocausi on Youi Plaie campaign
is ouiiageous offensive and iales cluiz
pal io new leiglis
Abloiieni is a pieiiy good woid and
Foxmans woids caiiy a loi of weigli He is
mucl moie qualified io compaie anyiling io ile
Holocausi ovei anyone ai PETA Iis iiuly iiou
bling ilai iley can basically exploii sucl a iling
jusi io gei aiieniion
Heies anoilei good one Many moons ago
PETA lad an Easieiileme campaign feaiuiing
a billboaid of a pig siaiing He Died foi youi
Sin Go Vegeiaiian PETA in iis many piepaied
siaiemenis io iiy and fend off ile ouiiage leveled
ai ilis campaign claimed ilai iley lad many
ieligiousbased billboaids and iley aie designed
io geneiaie compassion foi Gods cieaiuies
Soiiy PETA ilais noi wlais being seen by ile
levelleaded ilinleis Wlai people see wlen
iley lool ai ilese billboaids is youi oiganizaiion
compaiing }esus Cliisi io a pig As a Cliisiian
ilis noi only offends me io ile umpieenil
degiee ii males me feel sliglily sicl
Now ii seems PETA las ieacled a new low
Fiisi a liiile baclgiound
C} Wicleison was fiee diving in ile Anna
Maiia Islands wiil some fiiends Regieiiably ile
day ended badly wiil Wicleison being aiiacled
by a slail Tle aiiacl lefi Wicleison loiiibly
wounded bui siiicles laiei les iecoveiing
So wlai is PETAs iesponse io ilis loiiible
accideni Compassion oi concein you say Nay
ilese ilings aie beneail sucl a gioup as PETA
Insiead iley pui up billboaids pioudly display
ing a slail clomping on a luman leg wiil ile
woids Paybacl is Hell Go Vegan
PETA claims ilai ile ad is io biing aboui
aiieniion io all ile slails ilai aie lilled by
lumans and ilai slails aie noi ile mosi dan
geious piedaiois on Eaiil We aie said PETA
campaign spolespeison Aslley Byine
To summaiize an animal ilai basically las
lnives in iis mouil is made of puie muscle and
is lellbeni on doing noiling bui consianily
eaiing is less dangeious ilan us f leslly squisly
lumans If Ms Byine weie ciusled by a land
slide wlilsi liling in Yellowsione Pail would I
feel comfoiiable ialing oui ad space io piomoie
ile misiieaimeni of good ol Moilei Eaiil using
lei accideni as a cenieipiece If I did ilai would
be iepielensible deploiable and wiong
PETA needs io wale up iale a siep bacl and
iale a long laid lool ai ile loiiendous and
offensive iaciics iley employ in oidei io encoui
age eilical iieaimeni Tley need io see ilai
iley aie slowing ilemselves io be noiling
bui ciude offensive zealois Noi io meniion
ii males ilem lool lile lools Be pioanimal
Tlais fine Clallenge ile meai indusiiy Raise
awaieness of ile misiieaiing of peis Bui in youi
ciusade io leep me fiom my Baconaioi doni
become aniiluman Weie woiily of compas
sion ioo
}usi ile oilei day I was walling w iil
fiiends iliougl a pailing loi We weie
walling because we aie all ablebodied
ieenageis and we lappened io snag a
pailing spoi moie neai ile bacl of ile
loi fuiilesi fiom ile sioie Ii wasni
ilai big of a deal walling is walling
and since we weie all obleboJieJ teenoq
ers we could do so And as we ciepi pasi
ile landicap pailing spois ai ile fioni
of ile loi ile ones ilai people wlo ore
not obleboJieJ use because walling is
aciually you lnow a problem foi ilem
wlai do I see Two ieenage giils lop oui
and wall iigli up io ile sioie
Tle poini of landicap spaces is so ilai
people wlo lave disabiliiies oi eldeily
people wlo siiuggle wiil longdisiance
walling doni lave io laboi as mucl
Tley can slop ai any sioie iley noimally
would wiil ile added bonus of laving
a sloii and medically safe wall Iis noi
foi lazy ieeny boppeis io abuse because
iis cold ouiside and ileie aie no pailing
spaces close enougl io ile sioie oi iis
iaining and ileyie ioially going io meli
Tle mosi baffling paii landicap
pailing passes aie noi a bieeze io
obiain Accoiding io Micligangov A
qualifying disabiliiy is defined undei
Micligan law as eiilei blindness oi any
condiiion ilai significanily limiis a pei
sons abiliiy io wall oi iequiies a wleel
claii wallei ciuicl oi oilei assisiive
device Iis doubiful ilai someone can
waliz inio a dociois office pieiend
ileyie blind and be gianied access io a
pass
So low on eaiil did ilose giils ile
pass Well appaienily disabiliiy license
plaies wlicl allow ile peison io pail
in ile landicap spoi can be issued io
a family membei living wiil a peison
wiil a disabiliiy Wlai Im ialing fiom
ilis and I lope Im wiong is ilai
ilose giils lave a family membei wlo
las a disabiliiy and aie abusing ile
powei of ile pass And leis say iley do
lave a family membei wiil a disabiliiy
Suiely ileyve gone oui wiil ilis family
membei and iun inio ile pioblem of
noi laving a pailing spoi because ile
spaces aie ofien exploiied
And accoiding io Secieiaiy of Siaie
ii is illegal io pail in a landicap space
if none of ile occupanis of ile cai
lave a disabiliiy Neiilei of ilose giils
needed ciuicles a wleelclaii a guide
dog eic Tley weie of able body and
yei iley pailed in one of ile few landi
cap spaces ile pailing loi offeis Iis a
slame io ilinl ilai someiling ilai was
cieaied wiil good inieniions io lelp
people wlo couldni safely wall long
disiances is being abused because
walling acioss a pailing loi and inio
an expansive supei sioie oi megamall is
simply oveiwlelming
Excuse me wlile I go ioll my eyes in
ile coinei
People for the Unethical Treatment of People
/(76
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2850,1'6
People for the Unethical Treatment of People
%<5$0215$=2
NEWS EDITOR
misterrazo@gmail.com
2012 Michigan Community College Press Association Judging Form
PIace of award:Honorable Mention
Category: Column/Humor
HeadIine/titIe of entry: People for the Unethical Treatment of People
Contestant's name: Ramon Razo
CoIIege name: Schoolcraft Community College, Division

Judge's comments: Mr. Razo is a writer of wit, flash, insight and talent. However,
believe, perhaps because of the large space he filled, his piece also had severe fits of
self-indulgence and verbosity. would very much like to read something by him that had
500 words or less. With that added dimension of discipline, think he would truly shine.
As is, the piece is well-written and well-constructed. The reader moves freely through it,
aided by good transitions and a fine vocabulary. He also had a terrific ending the best
among his competitors.