What is Interpersonal Communication?

Interpersonal communication is the process by which people exchange information, feelings, and meaning through verbal and non-verbal messages: it is face-to-face communication. Interpersonal communication is not just about what is actually said - the language used - but how it is said and the nonverbal messages sent through tone of voice, facial expressions, gestures and body language. When two or more people are in the same place and are aware of each other's presence, then communication is taking place, no matter how subtle or unintentional. Without speech, an observer may be using cues of posture, facial expression, and dress to form an impression of the other's role, emotional state, personality and/or intentions. Although no communication may be intended, people receive messages through such forms of non-verbal behaviour.

Developing interpersonal communication skills Developing interpersonal communication skills is vitally important in todays workplace. Even though you are an individual contributor in the workplace, you still need to communicate effectively with your boss as well as customers. Almost all kinds of work require communicating with your Most people have colleagues with whom they need to communicate in order to be successful at their job. When we communicate, we don't actually swap ideas, we swap symbols that stand for ideas. Words are just symbols that do not have inherent meaning; we simply use them in certain ways to convey an idea or give it a meaning, and no two people use the same word in the same sense at all instances. The symbols attached to these words are a function of who we are, our social upbringing and culture, which will pretty much vary quite widely in today's work environment.

Our personal communication skills would be largely dependent on our cultural background and unique histories. As a result, there is a real possibility that when two of us get together there are chances that we are less effective at communicating with each other than we would like.

Some Facts on Interpersonal communication: Interpersonal communication is inescapable

We cannot 'not communicate'. The very attempt not to communicate communicates something. When we are not communicating .i.e. when we are silent towards the other person, we are communicating silence. Silence has many meaning depending on the circumstances and cultures. In one Culture, it might be a polite thing to have a long pause before answering a question while in another culture it may be considered a dumb thing or lack of intelligence.

Communication is not just spoken words.

Remember the time you were caught coming home late? Remember the look on your Moms face? She may not have said anything verbally but we still got the message quite clearly Grounded.

Any communication for that matter is based not just on words but also on body language, tonality, situation etc. Using these techniques, we constantly communicate with others. Even when you sleep, you communicate. Remember the basic principle of communication : people are not mind readers. Another way to put this is: people judge you by your behavior, not your intent.

Inter Personal communication is irreversible

"Once a word goes out of your mouth, you can never swallow it again." - A Russian proverb

You can't really take back something once it has been said. The effect must inevitably remain. Despite the instructions from a judge to a jury to "disregard that last statement the witness made," the lawyer knows that it can't help but make an impression on the jury.

Some of the famous Murphy Laws on communication go this way:

If communication can fail, it will.

If a message can be understood in different ways, it will be understood in the way which does the most harm.

There is always somebody who knows better than you what you meant by your message. The more communication there is, the more difficult it is for communication to succeed. These tongue-in-cheek maxims are not real principles; they simply humorously remind us of the difficulty of accurate communication.

Intra personal communication is contextual

In other words, communication does not happen in isolation. There is:

a. A Mental context, which is who you are and what you bring to the interaction. Your needs, desires, values, personality, etc., all form the psychological context. ("You" here refers to both participants in the interaction.)

b. A Relational context, which concerns your relations to the other person--the "mix."

c. Social context deals with the psycho-social "where" you are communicating. An interaction that takes place in a classroom will be very different from one that takes place in a bar.

d. Physical/Environmental context deals with the physical "where" you are communicating. Furniture, location, noise level, temperature, season, time of day, all are examples of factors in the environmental context. e. Cultural context includes all the learned behaviors and rules that affect the interaction. If you come from a culture (foreign or within your own country) where it is considered rude to make long, direct eye contact, you will avoid eye contact out of politeness. If the other person comes from a culture where long, direct eye contact signals trustworthiness, then we have a basis for misunderstanding.

By increasing your repertoire of interpersonal communication skills, you can increase your overall effectiveness and perhaps your job satisfaction.

Essentials for Interpersonal Communication

1. Recognize that people want you to listen to them. They want this courtesy more than agreement with them. 2. Listen to yourself as you begin to communicate. Make sure that you understand what is being communicated to you by repeating what was said in your own words. Respond rather than react as this will allow you to address the situation in a positive way. 3. Improve the way you listen. Focus understanding the words that are being said rather than thinking about your response. Don't speak until you fully understand that words that were just spoken. 4. Summarize your understanding of the communication. Clarify any questions with the other person. 5. Direct your message only to the person you intend to communicate with. Deliver your message to that person only. 6. Say what you think and feel. Be as clear and specific as possible when you state what you want. 7. Encourage others to give you feedback. Ask them to be specific and clear. This interpersonal skill helps others to understand that you are expressing your opinion or feeling instead of a demand. 8. Ask yourself how the conflict affects you and why it is important. This answer will determine what you will say during the confrontation. 9. Maintain a positive attitude and communicate positive intentions. Always include the other party.

10. Discuss the problem, giving the other party time to speak. Employ good communication and listening skills. Respect the needs of the other party. 11. Consider alternative solutions to the problem at hand. Choose the solutions that are beneficial to both parties. Ensure that the solutions are fair and specific. 12. Plan a follow up evaluation of the solutions. You want to make sure the solutions are working to the satisfaction of all parties. 13. Become more attuned to your feelings. Learn to recognize the anger as it occurs. 14. Avoid misdirecting your anger towards others who are not causing you to be angry. Be aware if the cause is from someone, something or inside yourself. 15. Diffuse your anger by first taking a deep breath. Walk away from the situation until you've had a change to calm down. 16. Express yourself responsibly and appropriately to the person who is causing you to be angry. Help the person to understand why their behavior is causing you to react with anger. Do not accuse the other person. Instead use "I statements" to express yourself in a non-threatening way. 17. Participate in daily activities that help you to deal with anger. Try exercising and mediating.