Chemistry Jokes W What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium. Why are chemists perfect for solving problems?

Because they h have all the solutions. W Where do you put dirty dishes? In the zinc. Why do chemists prefer nitrates? Because they're cheaper than d day rates. T The names Bond, Covalent Bond. Atom: Id like to report a missing electron.Policeman: Are you s sure?Atom: Yes, Im positive! What's the first thing you should learn in chemistry? Never lick t the spoon. W Why did hydrogen marry carbon? Because they bonded so well. A neutron walks into a bar and asks, How much for a drink? T The bartender replies, For you, no charge. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate! What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry labs? Methylated Spirits

How many atoms in a guacamole? A: Avocado's number.

Q. What do you do when you find a dead chemist? A. Barium. Q. What is the purpose of a doctor?

A. Helium.

Q: What happens when electrons lose their energy? A: They get Bohr'ed. Q: What is a cation afraid of? A: A dogion. Why do white bears dissolve in water? Because they're polar.
F Fun chemistry facts

Hydrogen is the first element on the periodic table. It has an atomic number of 1. It is highly flammable and is the most common element found in our universe. More hydrogen facts. . Liquid nitrogen boils at 77 kelvin (196 C, 321 F). More nitrogen facts. . Around 1% of the suns mass is oxygen. More oxygen facts. . Helium is lighter than the air around us so it floats, that's why it is perfect for the balloons you get at parties. More helium facts. . Carbon comes in a number of different forms (allotropes), these include diamond, graphite and impure forms such as coal. More carbon facts, diamond facts, and coal facts. . Although it is still debated, it is largely recognized that the word ' 'chemistry' comes from an Egyptian word meaning 'earth'. The use of various forms of chemistry is believed to go back as long ago as the Ancient Egyptians. By 1000 BC civilizations were using more complex forms of chemistry such as using plants for medicine, extracting metal from ores, fermenting wine and making cosmetics.

Things invisible to the human eye can often be seen under UV light, which comes in handy for both scientists and detectives. d Humans breathe out carbon dioxide (CO2). Using energy from sunlight, plants convert carbon dioxide into food during a p process called photosynthesis. Chemical reactions occur all the time, including through everyday activities such as cooking. Try adding an acid such as vinegar to a base such as baking soda and see what happens! h Above 4 C, water expands when heated and contracts when cooled. But between 4 C and 0 C it does the opposite, contracting when heated and expanding when cooled. Stronger hydrogen and oxygen bonds are formed as the water crystallizes into ice. By the time it's frozen it takes up a around 9% more space. Often formed under intense pressure over time, a crystal is made up of molecules or atoms that are repeated in a three dimensional repeating pattern. Quartz is a well known e example of a crystal. Athletes at the Olympic Games have to be careful how much coffee they drink. The caffeine in coffee is a banned substance because it can enhance performance. One or two cups are fine but they can go over the limit with more than five. (update - as of 2004 caffeine has been taken back off the WADA banned list but its use will be closely monitored to prevent future abuse by athletes.)
Here are 10 interesting facts about the element oxygen. You can find more oxygen facts on the element's periodic table facts page. . A Animals and plants require oxygen for respiration. O Oxygen gas is colorless, odorless, and tasteless. L Liquid and solid oxygen are pale blue. Oxygen is a non-metal. . Oxygen gas normally is the divalent molecule O2. Ozone, O3, is a another form of pure oxygen. O Oxygen supports combustion. O Oxygen is paramagnetic. A Approximately 2/3 of the mass of the human body is oxygen. Excited oxygen is responsible for the bright red and yellow-green

colors of the aurora. Oxygen was the atomic weight standard for the other elements until 1961 when it was replaced by carbon 12.

Here is an ideawhat if we do paper placemats that have secret messages and each person has to decode their message in order to get dessert or to get their party favor or something? Invisible Ink and Secret Message Invitations Write your invitations using any of the invisible ink recipes. Explain on the invitation how the message can be revealed. Another option is to write the message using a white crayon on white paper or a white card. The message can be revealed by coloring the card with a marker or painting it with watercolor. This type of message may be easier to read than the type produced using invisible ink.