Identifying Feelings - Part 1

How I Feel (Individual or pairs) Below are some sentence completion stems. They will help you develop your emotional literacy and become more emotionally aware. List several feelings for each one. Write down your answers quickly, using single-word feelings as often as possible. (Adapted from Nathaniel Branden) When I am getting ready for work I often feel At the end of the day I often feel While I am at work I often feel With my principal I feel When my students don't meet my expectations I feel When my students disobey me I feel When my students interrupt me I feel When the class starts to get out of control I feel When the kids don't listen to me I feel When I have a lesson plan to complete I feel When I think about the possibility of not having a job I feel Thinking that I am wiring the children's emotional brains, possible for the rest of their lives, I feel Thinking that I can have a life-long effect on the children, either in a positive or a negative way, I feel

Family Life With my spouse or partner I feel With my children I feel Around my parents I feel

Around my relatives I feel When I think of some mistakes I made I feel When I think of what I have learned in my life I feel When I think of my recent past I feel When I think of the next few days I feel When I think of the next few months I feel When I think of the next few years I feel

Part 2 How I Felt In grade school I felt In middle school I felt In college I felt With my spouse/partner I feel When I alone I feel When I get angry I feel When driving I feel With mother I felt With father I felt With my grandparents I felt When I think of my children I feel When with my parents I feel When with my children I feel When around my family I feel

A few more exercises on talking about feelings: Exercise 1 -- Have people select a feeling word (either from a list or from a hat of slips of paper) and then talk about what that feeling means to them. Exercise 2 -- Give them a short list of some key feelings and have them talk about each one. Here are a few ideas. Have them talk about a time they felt: encouraged, discouraged understood, misunderstood rejected, accepted controlled-- trapped -- free over-protected-- underestimated Exercise 3 -- Have three people sit together. Have one tell a story about something upsetting. Have the other person listen, asking questions, and then have the 3rd person stay silent but write down all the feelings which are being expressed (probably indirectly). Managing Feelings Exercise 1 Have people list some of the negative feelings which they regularly experience. Then have them complete the following sentence: When I am feeling _______ I can ________ For children, it might help to make the analogy of a rainy day. Tell them to think of things they can do on a rainy day by saying to themselves: When it is rainy, I can _________. Exercise 2 Go through another list of negative feelings (either provided by you or the participants) and use the following general model. When I feel ______ I need more _____. For example, When I am feeling uninspired, I need more inspiration. When I am feeling resentful, I need more appreciation (towards that which you resent) When I am feeling victimized, I need to take more responsibility. When I am feeling out of powerless and out of control, I need to feel more powerful and in control. When I am feeling impatient, I need to feel more patient. Exercise 3 Think of a time when you were upset. Try to put yourself back into the moment and re-live it. Then ask yourself, "How do I feel?" and list your feelings.

Next ask: "What would help me feel better-- that I can control?" These are the HDIF and WWHMFB questions, which can also be used to help someone else by changing them to "How do you feel" - HDYF and "What would help you feel better?" WWHYFB?

(for groups of 2-3 people) Asking about what causes negative emotions can provide much information about someone's values, beliefs, and needs. By asking questions we increase our understanding. Increased understanding leads to compassion, empathy and a sense of connection with others. In this exercise get into groups of two or three. Ask someone to tell you about something in their life which they felt strongly about. Listen for feelings, values and beliefs. Make notes using the form below and then report back to the class. Focus on the feelings and the causes of them, not the details of the story. Try to get to the underlying thoughts, beliefs and attitudes below the emotions. While listening, remember not to give advice, or to try to solve the person's problem or to use phrases such as:

Values & Beliefs Profile

After listening to the story, give a summary to the class without telling what happened. Instead, report how the person felt and why they felt that way, in terms of their beliefs, values, and needs at that moment. 1. How did this person feel? (Note: Use "feeling words" from the list, not long descriptions of events and the situation). Try to name at least 5 feelings. 2. What does the person value? 3. What needs were violated or not met? 4. What are some of the person's beliefs? When I was x I was called y, or I was told z. For example, when I was persistant, I was called stubborn When I was proud, I was told I shouldn't let my head get too big. When I was: I was called (or I was told) caring determined

you need to, you have to, you ought to, you better, you should, you should have, you shouldn't, you shouldn't have if I were you, why don't you, why didn't you, what on earth were you thinking, what's the matter with you!?

persistent sensitive loving passionate curious assertive happy insightful Sentence completions 1. Complete the following senstences with several endings of your own choice. These are just a few sample feelings. Add your own to the list. Possible endings are: My mother would, my father would, my brother would, my sister would, my family would, my teachers would..... When I was feeling hurt teased laughed at ridiculed proud embarrassed ashamed ----------2. Substitute the x with all the above feeling words and to make more sentences. I felt x when Example: I felt hurt when my brother would call me names.