Ven Thubten Chodron Talk 7 tips to A Happy Life Part 3 26 MAY 2012 1400 hrs Medicinal Buddha Hall

10000 Buddha Pagoda KMSPKS

Recap #1. Create a YES list focuses on being a balanced person Not getting burnt out #2. Becoming Your Own Friend Quiet time each day meditate look into own mind calm the mind #3. It's Just NOT about ME! Internal rule Universal "Everybody likes me", "Nobody criticize me" Everybody want happiness so Why my Happiness more important than others ---#4 Cultivate Self- Confidence Humiliation and Self Confidence goes together Low Self Confidence tend to be arrogant Meditate on the Buddha Nature/ Clear Blue Sky limitless and boundless... Clouds covering it are our mental afflictions, emotional attachments, Defilement... Above them all still the clear blue limitless sky... Build Sense of Confidence first looks into what constitutes building block of confidence

if confidence is built on external factor, it is dangerous

if self-esteem is built on Physical Appearance, it is NOT STABLE if it is built on intelligence, when we get old how valid is this basis if it is built on Income/ Profession/ Status, All subject to change ---> lay off/ event disappointment

True confidence has to be built inwardly... We all have Potential to become BUDDHA, henceforth, Remain peaceful Love and Kindness can be increase boundlessly and it can disappear Ven Thubten Chodron shared that her friend's mom who suffered Alzheimer/ Dementia treated her fellow aged mates whenever she got treated to her meal (act of generousity) and when she see someone upset, she will bring them joy... her natural reactions... Ven commented how she hopes she too can be so natural when in old age... YOU HAVE YOUR KIND HEART... based on that, Better Self Esteem Learn every technique encounter every situation in life. Take Satisfaction in Kindness Be Proactive... and Not cling to nitty-gritty, Develop not Small Identity Saying things in a group... POSE question publicly DON'T be Self-PreOccupied... Avoid cheating people Not sharing Knowledge NOT sharing= Plain Selfishness Unnecessary Shyness=> No Good => Unhappy life => criticize others behind back Ven Chodron then recalled episode in teens that once admired footballers and cheerleeders and once she noted that the popular cheerleader not happy though general perception the socialist them are happier lot Cheerleader do not think like most feel being popular means being liked

and she wants Genuine friend. Stop see ??? Everything isn't going rosy GOAL. It is NOT JUST ABOUT YOURSELF... for clarity...may opt satisfaction Samsaric pleasures no lasting happiness... Only dharma is lasting happiness

IMPORTANT Have Broad AIM and Meaning in Life Create better future life (lives)... Analogy of the bird taking off to fly... Bird flies off with resilience and hope... it is doesn turn back its head when it flies off... do they? when we die, we want like the bird... true practitioner shared that it is like going for a picnic when they dies NO fear, graspings... go forth with BIG WIDE Open Heart SUPPORTING Dharma--- Dying movs, out

Practice Preparing for future lives Ven Chodron shared she once met a dying monk who has haemorrhage in the inside but peace in the mind... your ordinary monk... This monk meditate alot... got fellow monks to place him in sleeping Buddha posture at his last breathe... monk friend checked on him verified he has Good death... WE DIE THE WAY WE LIVED our lives SET your Aims High... we are fortunate to have precious human life so must hear/ listen to teaching DO NOT take it for GRANTED * APPRECIATE Dharma Friends

#7 Live from your heart Do what's in your heart. base on wise intuition, think course/ result of action this life/ future live Weigh consequences... else need do lots Purification - THINK LONG TERM... What effect on my spouse/ gf or bf/ parents/ family? What they think of me when I do the stupid foolish thing? what will BUDDHA gonna say? Karmically, NOT be Reckless & Careless #7 Give yourself Space TRAIN, Practice, Repetition... Be patient, compassionate with oneself Be what's beautiful for you

---- 1545 hrs

Q&A No need be ordained to be enlightened Need take good care of yourself maintain Balance Learning Dharma then doing regular practice, review thought moulding process and strong value along with Awareness helps look out for what to practice/ improve/ discard mirror look out at ourselves what about me, the effect, the mess, and hence cherish others more increases love and Bodhicitta Read OPEN HEART OPEN MIND focus continuity moment by moment

moment of death: When relaxed, one died well on question of people for quick gain:

NO NEED LOOK FOR QUICK GAIN WHO YOU ARE is IMPORTANT... Spiritual Practice makes you wiser, cooperative person