~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #140 ~Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate: iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio "Life circumstances have little to do with happiness because much happiness is under your control — the product of your habits and your outlook on life. Happiness is synthetic — you either create it, or you don’t." —Life Altering Awareness The uncertainties in life are vast. But to errantly ignore the ability to master the certainties is a mistake. Each of us is capable of cultivating a life that is fulfilling and attains true contentment no matter what changes life may bring by honing the tool of Emotional Intelligence. A term created by researchers Peter Salavoy and John Mayer and brought into the mainstream culture by Dan Goleman in his 1996 book Emotional Intelligence, EQ is often the detail forgotten about that upon tending to makes a significant difference in the quality of our lives no matter what the circumstances may be. And the beauty is each of us has the ability to improve our EQ. What is Emotional Intelligence you may be asking? Often broken down into three components and skills: Definition of EQ: 1. Emotional awareness, including the ability to identify your own emotions and those of others; 2. The ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problems solving; 3. The ability to manage emotions, including the ability to regulate your own emotions, and the ability to cheer up or calm down another person. Let's look at it another way: EQ is divided into two components the Personal and Social. There are four abilities one will exhibit if they have a high emotional intelligence: PERSONAL: Self-Awareness PERSONAL: Self-Management SOCIAL: Social Awareness SOCIAL: Relationship Management At the foundation of developing a strong EQ is the awareness of a balance that is often discussed here on TSLL. Exploring and understanding ourselves whilst respectfully and thoughtfully navigating the world around us whether in work or play is, when we look at what our lives are all about, what living well should be all about. Striking a healthy balance between ourselves and the relationships we built, and ensuring the relationships we build with ourselves and others are healthy, respectful, thoughtful, loving and kind. EQ is simple in theory, and eventually does become simple in practice, but initially, it will take time, attention and patience to build a muscle that may not have been worked in quite some time or ever. Now, as you will see below, there are many different characteristics. I suggest taking an EQ test (short or long) to determine where your strengths and weaknesses are as most of us may be quite proficient in some areas, but consciously or unconsciously weak in others. And with any eventual success, the first step toward improving is knowing where you need to improve and pat yourself on the back for what you are already doing well. But first, let's look at the carrot. What can be gained by improving our EQ? Benefits & Characteristics: be the curator of your own happiness regardless of outside forces, events or people solve a variety of emotion-related problems accurately and quickly can accurately perceive emotions in faces manage emotions effectively – both our own and others – especially when we are under pressure regulate emotions such as anger or jealously and keep them at a healthy level. calmly find solutions to problems exude confidence due to trusting intuition and not allowing emotions get out of control self-aware: can look honestly at yourself - observing strengths and weaknesses - being able to work on areas you can improve comfortable with change strength to say no exemplify sincere thoughtfulness disciplined and therefore can discern between immediate and long-term effects thereby experience much success, effectiveness and productivity strong listening skills less likely to judge and stereotype manage relationships well able to identify with and understand the wants