Journeying Forward: Examining My Value System

Resource Person: Mr. Earnest Tan

Perhaps your greatest statement of love is to be able to say: I am, I am becoming not only for me, but for everyone. -Leo Buscaglia

Introduction
It

is essential that we periodically take time out to examine our values Values are guiding stars by which we navigate our lives They give our lives direction One of the greatest tragedy in life is to grow old with regrets because we have not lived the life we desired

 Values

are what we consider as essential in giving our lives meaning and as such, they deeply motivate our behaviors There are many types of values they can be of a physiological, psychological, socio-cultural and religious-moral-spiritual nature Common mistake is to equate values with virtues (religious-moral-spiritual)

To examine our values, we simply have to study the choices we make Some of us question our freedom of choice and therefore lead a victim and martyr lifestyle We always have choices We must learn to tap our freedom and be conscious and responsible of all the choices we make, especially the values that will lead us to the life we desire

Either-Or Forced Choices

Which are you more of? a living room or a bedroom? a moon or a sun? a turtle or a racehorse? a hammer or a nail? a parent or a child? a here and now or a there and then? a yes or a no? a Christ in manger or a Christ on cross?

Guide Questions

How do you feel about the choices you made? What do your choices reveal about you in terms of your person and values?

How are your choices reflected in your everyday behavior?

 Most of us grow up being dictated as to what values we should uphold; these are norms, standards and expectations which tell us who we are as we should be The valuing process introduces to us the balance by inviting us to decide who am I as I really am This facilitates our effort at integration especially as we acknowledge and reconcile between our ideal and actual selves, our role and true selves, and our social and real selves

 This is a process that challenges us to define ourselves to others and presupposes some level of freedom and empowerment Most people continue to allow external factors to dictate and define them One aspect by which we must be empowered is the ability to decide on our own values

 Values may be discerned as we look into our cognitive structures and recognize the various choices we make and the meaning or meanings we give to these choices To test our values, it must pass through these three dimensions: * The choice is made freely * It is made from alternatives * It is made after considering consequences

 Values are further validated as we check our affective life; a value passes through these two criteria * We feel good and happy with our value decision * We are willing to publicly affirm this choice

 Values are ultimately reflected in our behavioral patterns; They pass through these two criteria * The value is acted upon * Not only once, but repeatedly and consistently throughout ones life

 The goal of the valuing process is to arrive at wholeness and integration Wholeness and integration however are lifetime processes; we must continue to work out our incongruence Integrating virtues, as Christians, requires a conscious effort; since they are higher level values, discipline must be practiced We must constantly catch the moment from which we can discern our values

Value Ranking

List down 5 qualities you consciously try to uphold as a leader List down 5 priorities you give in your leadership as reflected by the amount of time you give to them List down 5 priorities you give in your leadership in terms of the amount of money you spent on them Rank order each set according to importance (1) for most and (5) for least important List down one thing you would never ever compromise in your leadership (if that happens, you would not hesitate to resign as leader)

Charting My Personal Consciousness Track

The Consciousness Track will provide us with roadmap from which we can see: Where am I now? Where can I move towards? How do I move from here to there? Based on all the reflection and sharing, identify 15 to 20 values that seemed to be considered as important in your life at present Transfer the chosen values to the consciousness track; refer to the coding to know where it is located in the track

There is a big difference between having many

choices and making a choice. Making a choice declaring what is essential to you creates a framework for a life that eliminates many choices but gives meaning to what remains. -Sue Bender Values are developed not by forcing (young people) to memorize words which they do not understand and are not interested in; rather, by letting them talk, ventilate their issues, search for their own values and eventually articulate their God within. -Andrew Greeley

Levels of Consciousness

Phase 1
Simply me World is a mystery; Self is the center The self exists in a hostile world Locus if control: Interplay between what nature provides and my needs Core values Self gratification, Self- Preservation, survival, pleasure, comfort, security Moral Basis Self- Happiness/Avoidance of Pain

Phase 2
Conscious me World as a problem which I can cope with Self as belonging Locus of control: External Authority The self does things to succeed and belong in social world Core Values Self-worth, Belonging, Peer Approval, social Acceptance, Tradition, status Moral Basis Authority/Good-Bad orientation

Phase 3
Emerging I consciousness World as a project in which I must participate Self as Unique and Independent Locus of control: The Confident I Core Values Mission: True to Yourself Being my own person, Independence, Freedom, SelfActualization, persona Growth, Service vocation Choice Values Moral Basis: Personal Conscience (Inner Voice)

Phase 4
Harmonizing We World as a mystery which we care for Selves as Life Givers The self participate in giving life to the global world Locus of control: Sense of We - ness Core Values Synergy, Interdependence, Truth and Wisdom, Harmony, Creating a new world Vision values Moral Basis: Social conscience

There is a big difference between having many choices and making a choice. Making a choice declaring what is essential to you creates a framework for a life that eliminates many choices but gives meaning to what remains. -Sue Bender Values are developed not by forcing (young people) to memorize words which they do not understand and are not interested in; rather, by letting them talk, ventilate their issues, search for their own values and eventually articulate their God within. -Andrew Greeley