Characteristics associated with gender communication patterns

Ms. Cindy Kenkel

Battle of the Sexes

Disclaimer
Observations are by no means applicable to ALL men or women in ALL business environments.
Men motivated by power or status Women motivated by connection

Deborah Tannen

Why so many differences?

Male Female

Verbal Feeling

Verbal & Feeling in both sides

There really are biological differences

How do you get from here to there?

Gender: Absolute vs. General Direction Streets vs. Landmarks

Women

General (left, right) Absolute (North, South)

Men

Landmarks (by the gas station) Streets (Walnut, Main)

What would you like to do?

Women perceive it as an invitation for

discussion and negotiation

Men perceive it as the

stimulus for direct answer

In decision making
Women more likely to downplay their

certainty

Men more likely to downplay their doubts

Leading style
Women tend to lead by making suggestions
Men tend to lead by giving orders

Give directions in indirect ways

Women give directions in indirect ways
Men perceive it as confusing,

unsure or manipulative

Criticism
Women tend to temper criticism with

positive buffers

Men tend to give criticism directly

How is your lemonade?

What do you think?

A means for women to build consensus
Men perceive it as a sign of incompetence

and lack of confidence

Am I right or wrong?
Women feel that men are not direct enough

in telling women if they are right

Men feel that women are not direct

enough in telling men if they are wrong

Audience adaptation in a group

Women tend to change their communication styles to adapt to the presence of the men practice silent applause

Women in position of authority

Women tend to be less accustomed to dealing with conflict and attacks

A Bluff or an Ultimatum?
Women misunderstand mens ultimatums as serious threats rather than one more negotiation strategy.

This is nonnegotiable.
Fine, then. Have it your way.

Women need to improve negotiation skills

Women 2.5 times more likely to feel a

great deal of apprehension about negotiating Women will pay as much as $1,353 more to avoid negotiating car price Men are 4 times more likely to negotiate their first salary (not doing this costs you over $500,000 by the time you retire)

Research shows
__________ managers tend to have more of a desire to build than a desire to win and are more likely to compromise.

Im sorry? Why?
Women tend to apologize even when they have done nothing wrong. Men tend to avoid apologies as a sign of weakness or concession.

Rapport vs Report Talk

Rapport -Women tend to mix business talk with talk about their personal lives.

Report: Men mix business talk with banter about sports, politics, or jokes.

Did you say Dr.?

Women are more often referred to by their first name than are men, sometimes as a sign of less respect for women and sometimes as a sign of presumed familiarity or intimacy.

Interruptions
Men tend to interrupt women much more than women interrupt men.

Idea Generation
Men tend to usurp ideas stated by women and claim them as their own. Women tend to allow this process to take place without protest.

Tag Questions
Women appear to seek permission or validation by the addition of tag questions to their assertions. Lets hold the meeting in my office, OK?

Why Girls Dont Get the Corner Office

Discussion
Which communication patterns do you observe in yourself that agree with the list of items we just covered? Which communication patterns do you disagree with?