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As truth be told we try to complete the end of the story to see the ending result. Real life will never arranges itself exactly like a romance. So enjoy every moment until the end of the story because the memories before the fairy tale ending are worth making. Before there were cell phones and computers men used to show their devotion to a woman with matters of the heart, and of hope. Their futures were intertwined in the erotic desire, and loyalty expressed with the hearts content. During courtship a woman is in control of the relationship where a mans obedience and submission inspires him to do great deeds. Back in the day men would express their emotions, but in todays society we find that men are to appear as masculine and factual. Where has all the romance gone or has romance hasnt left its just changed form.
Ideal Love
History
In 1168, Eleanor of Aquitaine left the court of her husband Henry II and took up residence in her ancestral lands of Poitou. Having served as viceregent for the king in England, she had no difficulty pursuing her duties as a ruling duchess, and she wielded the power of a feudal lord and accepted the responsibilities that went with it. With a deft hand and a discerning eye, she turned a district that had been on the outskirts of events for forty years into the center of economic and social life.
As a result of this sudden burst of activity, Eleanor's court in the city of Poitiers drew vassals paying homage, squires training to be knights, young ladies acquiring their education, and visiting future kings and queens related by blood or marriage to the duchess. Because she was a woman of renowned beauty, charm and style as well as extraordinary wit and iron will, the poets, chroniclers, musicians, philosophers, artists, who always flocked around her also congregated at Poitiers. It was out of royalty and romance that the movement of courtly love emerged.
Eleanor of Aquitaine
The Twelve Rules of Love from The Art of Courtly Love by Andreas Capellanus
1. Thou shalt avoid avarice like the deadly pestilence and shalt embrace its opposite. 2. Thou shalt keep thyself chaste for the sake of her whom thou lovest. 3. Thou shalt not knowingly strive to break up a correct love affair that someone else is engaged in. 4. Thou shalt not chose for thy love anyone whom a natural sense of shame forbids thee to marry. 5. Be mindful completely to avoid falsehood.
Rules continued
6. Thou shalt not have many who know of thy love affair. 7. Being obedient in all things to the commands of ladies, thou shalt ever strive to ally thyself to the service of Love. 8. In giving and receiving love's solaces let modesty be ever present. 9. Thou shalt speak no evil. 10. Thou shalt not be a revealer of love affairs. 11. Thou shalt be in all things polite and courteous. 12. In practicing the solaces of love thou shalt not exceed the desires of thy lover.
- In Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Sir Gawain must respect both the laws concerning courtly love and the laws of chivalry. - The knights code of honor requires that Sir Gawain do whatever a lady asks, and because of this Gawain must accept the girdle from the Lady, but he must also keep the promise he has made to his host that he will give whatever he gains that day. - When Gawain chooses to keep the girdle, he is breaking his promise to the host but honoring the lady. After learning that the Green Knight is actually his host, Gawain realizes that even though he has accomplished his quest, he has failed to be virtuous. - This demonstrates the conflict between honor and knightly duties. By breaking his promise, Gawain believes he has lost his honor and failed in his duties.
Masculine Images
Physically strong hero/ protector
Wise father figure. Super lover extraordinaire
Arguments Continued
Against the princess: Doesnt placing them on so high and so remote a pedestal drift into the realm of women as objects? Against the mother: Post-partum depression and child abuse from mothers doesnt exist? Against the virgin: This perception, much like the male equivalent, relies on categorizing a person solely based on their sexual behavior. What if the man or woman is a good parent or participant in the community?
Female Archetypes
Modern: Personality Independence Not looking for love, love finds her Initial rejection Growth of love through an external situation Conflict between being true to self and surrendering to affection
Female Archetypes
Courtly Love: Separated into classes, and each class has identifiable characteristics associated with it Marriage Initial rejection, but eventual submission through the persuasion of the man in the steps of courtly love Conflict between love, class, and social duties.
Class Distinction
Courtly Love: Women divided into three classes: Middle class Noblewoman Woman of High Nobility Men divided into four classes: Middle class Noble Man of High Nobility Clerk Different rhetoric for different classes Ex. Middle class man partitioning a noblewoman has a different argument than a middle class man to a middle class woman Women of different classes given different levels of cleverness More noble, the more clever and thus, the best lover
Class Distinction
Modern: Not a huge compartmentalization Rise in personality also bridges gap between class distinction, especially because as a majority, there is still an emphasis on the mind as being more essential to a relationship than outward beauty.
Similarities
Emphasis on character as being the most important aspect of a prospective lover Descriptions of love and symptoms of love Transcendence of class Literature: Rejection, some internal conflict Psychology of love Mere exposure effect Sternbergs Triangular Love Theory
Rules of Courtly Love
Cont.
Love is not limited to a specific type of person No courtship rules with the same rigidity More casual: Man or woman can initiate relationship Class is not as much of an issue Emphasis on the man and how to properly courtship Love doesnt have to be concealed for it to succeed No (or very few) arranged marriages Courtly love: Marriage is not an excuse not to love