Chapter Three: Understanding Your Communication Style

Chapter Three
Understanding Your Communication Style
Chapter Preview: Understanding Your Communication Style

Style bias and its effect on interpersonal relations Benefits of understanding communication styles Elements of communication style model Identifying preferred style Style flexing
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Communication Style
Personalitythoughts, feelings, and actions that characterize someone Communication stylepatterns of behavior that others can observe Communication style is an important aspect of personality
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Communication Style
Understanding your style.
achieve greater self-awareness develop more effective interpersonal relations greater sensitivity to and tolerance for others styles essential for managing key relationships self another person member of a group
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Fundamental Concepts
Individual differences exist and are important
i.e., use of gestures, assertiveness each person has unique style identify by careful observation
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Differences tend to be stable
Jungs Psychological Types born with disposition that is nurtured and strengthened over a life
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Limited number of general styles
four basic styles similar characteristics within style
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A way of thinking and behaving
not an ability a preferred way of using abilities or style
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Productive relationships are developed by being in sync with others
important advantage when understanding others called style flexing
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Communication Style Bias

A common form of prejudice More likely if the other person has a different style then yours Often not on the same wavelength
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What You Can Do?

Develop an awareness of your own style Learn to assess the style of others Learn when and how to adapt your own style to theirs Speaking the other persons language is essential for relationship skills
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Total Person Insight

By knowing our own communicating style, we get to know ourselves better. And we get along with others better as we develop the ability to recognize and respondto their styles.
Paul Mok and Dudley Lynch Human Resource Development Consultants
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Communication Style Model

Two important dimensions of human behavior:
Dominance Sociability
Remember: the style model describes preferences, not skills or abilities
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The Dominance Continuum

Dominance
The tendency to display a take-charge attitude an important dimension in interpersonal relationships
Everyone falls somewhere on the dominance continuum
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The Dominance Continuum
Figure 3.1 Dominance Continuum

more cooperative freely eager to assist others less assertive more willing to be controlled give advice initiate demands more assertive seek control
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Determining Your Preferred Style

Step One:
Identify where you fall on the dominance continuum
Rate yourself on the Dominance Indicator Form Ask four or five people who know you well to complete it for you
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Figure 3.2 Dominance Indicator Form

Cooperative I perceive myself as somewhat . . . Competitive
Submissive
Authoritative
Accommodating Hesitant
Domineering Decisive Outgoing
Reserved
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Figure 3.2 Dominance Indicator Form

(continued)
I perceive myself as somewhat . . . Compromising Insistent
Cautious
Risk taking
Patient Passive
Hurried Influential Talkative
Quiet
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Figure 3.2 Dominance Indicator Form (continued)

Shy I perceive myself as somewhat . . . Bold
Supportive
Demanding
Relaxed Restrained
Intense Assertive
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Where Should You Be?

No best place to be Successful people can be found on all points Both ends are necessary and important at times
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Being Flexible Is Important

Low on dominance
more assertive temporarily to achieve an objective learn to be responsive without giving up convictions
High on dominance
curb strong opinions and limit demands to establish cooperative relationships
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The Sociability Continuum

Sociability
tendency to seek and enjoy social relationships measure of whether you tend to control or express your feelings
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Figure 3.3
Sociability Continuum
Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value, Ninth Edition, Copyright 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper Saddle River, NJ.
expresses feelings open and talkative enjoys personal

associations
controls feelings more reserved

and formal in relationships
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Determining Your Preferred Style

Step One: Identify where you fall on the dominance continuum
Step Two:
Identify where you fall on the sociability continuum
Rate yourself on sociability indicator form Ask four or five people who know you well to complete it for you
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Figure 3.4 Sociability Indicator Form

Disciplined I perceive myself as somewhat . . . Easygoing
Controlled
Expressive
Serious Methodical
Lighthearted Unstructured Spontaneous
Calculating
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Figure 3.4 Sociability Indicator Form (continued)

Guarded I perceive myself as somewhat . . . Open
Introverted
Extroverted
Aloof Formal
Friendly Casual Provocative
Reserved
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Figure 3.4 Sociability Indicator Form (continued)

Cautious I perceive myself as somewhat . . . Carefree
Conforming
Unconventional
Self-controlled Restrained
Dramatic Impulsive
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Where Should You Be?

No best place to be Successful people are everywhere along the sociability continuum There are some commonsense guidelines to follow if you fall at either end of the continuum
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Being Flexible is Important

Low sociability
may need to be more expressive to avoid perception of indifference or unconcerned
High sociability
may need to curb exuberance if more formal environment is required
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Communication Styles Model

The model represents four communication styles:
emotive reflective director supportive
Two factors:
dominance sociability
Model will help identify your most preferred style
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Figure 3.5
When the dominance and sociability dimensions are combined, the framework for communication style classification is established.
Figure 3.5
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Figure 3.6
The emotive style combines high sociability and high dominance.
Figure 3.6
Emotive Style
Displays spontaneous, uninhibited behavior
Talks rapidly Uses lots of hand gestures Expresses views with enthusiasm
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Emotive Style
Displays the personality dimension described as extroversion
Enjoys being with others Tends to be upbeat and active Likes informality Uses first names
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Emotive Style
Possesses a natural persuasiveness
Combination of high dominance and high sociability Finds it easy to express point of view dramatically or forcefully
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Figure 3.7
The director style combines high dominance and low sociability.
.
Figure 3.7
Director Style
Projects a serious attitude
Communicates a no-nonsense attitude Often gives the impression he or she cannot have fun
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Director Style
Expresses strong opinions
Uses firm gestures and tone of voice Communicates determination
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Director Style
May project indifference
Finds it hard to abandon formal approaches in dealing with people Not easy to communicate warm, caring attitude
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Figure 3.8
The reflective style combines low dominance and low sociability.
Figure 3.8
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Reflective Style
Expresses opinions in a formal, deliberate manner
Never seems to be in a hurry Expresses measured opinions Emotional control is a common trait
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Reflective Style
Seems preoccupied
Rather quiet Appears aloof or hard to get to know
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Reflective Style
Prefers orderliness
Uses and appreciates an agenda Enjoys reviewing details Likes to make decisions slowly
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Figure 3.9
The supportive style combines low dominance and high sociability.
Figure 3.9
Supportive Style
Listens attentively
Good listening comes naturally Appears patient and caring
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Supportive Style
Avoids the use of power
Relies on friendly persuasion Likes to display warmth in written and spoken communication
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Supportive Style
Makes and expresses decisions in a thoughtful, deliberate manner
Appears low-key in decision making
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Identify Yourself?
Nobody conforms completely to one style Only one dimension of personality Only deals with behaviors that others can observe May be able to identify the style least like yourself
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Variation Within Your Communication Style

Communication styles also vary in intensity Model features zones that radiate outward from the center These dimensions might be thought of as intensity zones
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Boundary between zones not a permanent barrier Under certain conditions, people will abandon their preferred style temporarily, a process called "style flexing"
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Figure 3.10
Communication Style Intensity Zones
Figure 3.10

Zone I
Display unique behavioral characteristics with less intensity May be more difficult to identify the preferred communication style Not be as obvious in their gestures, tone of voice, speech patterns, or emotional expressions
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Zone 2
Display behavioral characteristics with greater intensity Can sometimes observe behavior change when upset or angry
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Excess Zone
Characterized by a high degree of intensity and rigidity Can also be labeled the "danger" zone Often inflexible and displays a lack of versatility
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Extreme intensity in any quadrant can interfere with good human relations People may move into the excess zone when:
they are under stress or not feeling well they feel threatened or insecure
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Behaviors Displayed in the Excess Zone

Supportive Style
Attempts to win approval by agreeing with everyone Constantly seeks reassurance Refuses to take a strong stand Tends to apologize a great deal
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Director Style
Is determined to come out on top Will not admit to being wrong Appears cold and unfeeling when dealing with others Tends to use dogmatic phrases
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Emotive Style
Tends to express highly emotional opinions Is outspoken to the point of being offensive Seems unwilling to listen to the views of others Uses exaggerated gestures and facial expressions
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Reflective Style
Tends to avoid making a decision Seems overly interested in detail Is very stiff and formal when dealing with others Seeks to achieve perfection
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Tips on Style Identification

Focus on observable behavior
The best clues are nonverbal:
Gestures Posture Facial expressions Speech patterns
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Tips on Style Identification

Determine where the person falls on the sociability and dominance continuums
Your initial impression should not be carved in stone, but should be a continuing process Different situations will bring out different behaviors
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Versatility: The Third Dimension

Versatility
acting in ways that gain a social endorsement making others feel comfortable and nondefensive independent of style and changeable can learn other styles
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Versatility and Style Flexing

Style flexing
deliberate attempt to change or alter style to meet the needs of another person temporary effort to act in harmony with other communication styles important in many occupations
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Total Person Insight

When we speak of interpersonal relationships (as interaction involving at least two people), we contend that no one can do much about what we say and do. And because dealing with others is such a major aspect of our lives, if we can control what we say and do to make others more comfortable, we can realistically expect our relationships to be more productive, or effective, ones.
David W. Merrill and Roger H. Reid Authors, Personal Styles and Effective Performance
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Strategies for Adapting Your Style

Identify the style of the other person Think of ways to flex your style to gain a social endorsement Several style adaptation strategies.
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Flexing to an Emotive Style

Take time to build a social as well as a business relationship Display interest in a persons ideas, interests, and experiences Do not place too much emphasis on details Maintain a fast and spontaneous pace
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Flexing to a Director Style

Be specific, brief, and to the point Present the facts logically and be prepared to provide specific answers Maintain fast and decisive pace Project strength and confidence Messages should be short and to the point
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Flexing to a Reflective Style

Be well organized Be straightforward and direct Be accurate and realistic when presenting information Messages should be detailed and precise Speak slowly and systematically
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Flexing to a Supportive Style

Show a sincere interest Identify areas of common interests Draw out others personal goals and views Listen and be responsive Do not be pushy Put priority on relationship building
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Style Flexing: Pitfalls and Possibilities

If sincere and honest, style flexing can:
help build constructive relationships be a valuable and productive communication strategy be especially critical when something important is at stake
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A Word of Caution
Do not label others
classify strengths and preferences, not people
Do not let your own label become rigid
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Strength/Weakness Paradox
There is no best communication style
each has unique strong points
People have problems when they overextend the strengths of their style Customizing your style can require learning to overcome your strengths
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Summary
Communication styles
patterns of behaviors, observable to others tend to be stable throughout a persons life unique to each person
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Summary
Communication style bias
problem in organizations barrier to good human relations
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Summary
Communication Model
Dominance Sociability
Communication Styles
Emotive Director Reflective Supportive
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Summary
Style flexing and versatility are important in dealing with varying communication styles Keep an open mind about people Dont use labels, typecast or judge
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Chapter Three: Understanding Your Communication Style

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Chapter Three: Understanding Your Communication Style

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Chapter Three

Understanding Your Communication Style

Chapter Preview: Understanding Your Communication Style

Copyright Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Copyright Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Copyright Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Copyright Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Copyright Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Copyright Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Copyright Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Copyright Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Communication Style Bias

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What You Can Do?

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Total Person Insight

Copyright Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Communication Style Model

Remember: the style model describes preferences, not skills or abilities

Copyright Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

The Dominance Continuum

Everyone falls somewhere on the dominance continuum

Copyright Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

The Dominance Continuum

Figure 3.1 Dominance Continuum

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Determining Your Preferred Style

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Figure 3.2 Dominance Indicator Form

Domineering Decisive Outgoing

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Figure 3.2 Dominance Indicator Form

Hurried Influential Talkative

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Figure 3.2 Dominance Indicator Form (continued)

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Where Should You Be?

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Being Flexible Is Important

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The Sociability Continuum

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expresses feelings open and talkative enjoys personal

controls feelings more reserved

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Determining Your Preferred Style

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Figure 3.4 Sociability Indicator Form

Lighthearted Unstructured Spontaneous

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Figure 3.4 Sociability Indicator Form (continued)

Friendly Casual Provocative

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Figure 3.4 Sociability Indicator Form (continued)

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Where Should You Be?

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Being Flexible is Important

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Communication Styles Model

Model will help identify your most preferred style

Copyright Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Copyright Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.