Nonverbal Communication I

Is it possible to communicate without words? Studies show that over half of your message is carried through nonverbal elements: Your appearance, Your body language, The tone and the pace of your voice. We know the importance of first impression But first impressions happen everytime we initiate the communication. Before someone processes our verbal messages, She has taken in our appearance, Registered our enthusiasm and sincerety Noted our tone of voice and processed all into nonverbal message.

Nonverbal Communication III

If this message reinforce the content of verbal one, it means we send a powerful message. If the two messages do not match, they may cancel each other and that means no messages delivered.

First Impression II
First impression includes: Dress & grooming Voice Handshake Eye contact Body posture Positive first impression make communications much easier and more comfortable. Negative first impressions can cut off a relationship before it gets started.

First Impression III

Accent, Monotone and weak voice, poor vocabulary Cold, limp handshake Lower quality, with inappropriate coloures, messy dressing style, dirty shoes Seldom eyecontact Poor posture, bad hygiene creates a barrier.

Enthusiasm
Most people like to work with others who are enthusiastic about their work. Enthusiastic people seem to work harder, longer and more accurately than those who are not enthusiastic. Enthusiasm is a projected behaviour to others and make the others enthusiastic. Reverse is valid also.

Projecting a Powerfull Image

The response you receive from the world around you is a measure of your success in interpersonal relations. From the beginning to the end of every transaction with another person, you are on the stage. Every word, gesture, expression an deimpression is being seen and evaluated Therefore be careful and respectful generally..

Language of Gestures
Body language and nonverbal communication are transmitted through the eyes, face, hands, arms, legs and posture (sitting and walking) Each individual, isolated gesture is like a word in sentence; it is difficult and isolated dangerous to interpret in and of itself. Therefore consider the gesture in the light of everyting else that is going on around you.

Eyes
Windows of the soul, excellent are indicators of feelings. Shifty eyes, beady eyes and look of steel demonstrate awareness. Honest person has a tendency to look you straight in the eye when speaking. At least listeners accept it like that.

Eyes II
People avoid eye contact with other person when an uncomfortable question asked. Try to reduce tension and build trust rather than increase tension. The raising of one eyebrow shows disbelief and two shows surprise. People are classified as right lookers and leftlookers. Right lookers are more influenced by logic and precision, left lookers are found to be more emotional, subjective and suggestible.

The Face
The face is one of the most reliable indicators of a persons attitudes, emotions & feelings By analysing facial expressions, interpersonal attitudes can be discerned and feedback obtained. Some people try to hide their true emotions. The term Poker Face describes them. Common facial gestures are: Frowns: unhappiness, anger Smiles: happiness Sneers: dislike, disgust Clenched jaws: tension, anger Pouting lips: sadness.

The Hands
Tightly clenched hands usually indicate that the person is experiencing undue pressure. It may be difficult to relate to this person because of his tension and disagreement. Rubing gently behind or beside the ear with the index finger or rubbing the eye usually means the other person is uncertain about what you are saying. Leaning back with both hands supporting the head usually indicates a feeling of confidence or superiority Cupping one or both hands over the mouth, especially when talking, may well indicate that the person is trying to hide something Putting your hand to your cheek or stroking your chin generally portrays thinking, interest or consideration. Fingers bent across the chin or below the mouth most often shows critical evaluation.

The Arms and Legs

Crossed arms tend to signal defensiveness. They seemingly act as a protective guard against an anticipated attack or a fixed position which the other person would rather not move. Conversely, arms open and extended toward you generally indicate openness and acceptance. Crossed legs tend to seem disagreement. People who tightly cross their legs seem to be saying that they disagree with what you are saying or doing. If the people have tightly crossed legs and tightly crossed arms, their inner attitude is usually one of extreme negativity toward what is going on around them. It may be difficult to get agreement.

Posture: Sitting and Walking

Sitting with your legs crossed and elevated foot moving in a slight circular motion indicates boredom or impatience. Interest and involvement are usually projected by sitting on the edge of the chair and leaning slightly forward. People who are preoccupied or thinking, usually walk with their heads down, hands clasped behind their backs and pace very slowly. Certain combinations of gestures are especially reliable indicators of a persons true feelings. These combinations are clusters. Each gesture is dependent to others, so analysis of a persons body language is based on a series of signals to ensure that the body language clearly and accurately understood.

Common Gesture Clusters Openness:

Several gestures indicate openness and sincerety Open hands, unbuttoned coal or collar, leaning slightly forward in the chair, removing coat or jacket, uncrossing arms and legs, moving closer.

Common Gesture Clusters Openness:

When people are proud of what they have done, they usually show their hands quite openly. When they are not often put their hands into their pockets, or hide back When people show signals of openness that means they are generally beginning very comfortable in your presence which is good.

Common Gesture Clusters Defensiveness:

People who are defensive usually have a rigid body, arms or legs tightly crossed, eyes glancing sideways or darting occasionaly. minimal eye contact lips pursed, fists clenched and downcast head

Why is non-verbal communication important?

Basically, it is one of the key aspects of communication (and especially important in a high-context culture). It has multiple functions:
Used to repeat the verbal message (e.g. point in a direction while stating directions. Often used to accent a verbal message. (e.g. verbal tone indicates the actual meaning of the specific words). Often complement the verbal message but also may contradict. E.g.: a nod reinforces a positive message (among Americans); a wink may contradict a stated positive message. Regulate interactions (non-verbal cues covey when the other person should speak or not speak). May substitute for the verbal message (especially if it is blocked by noise, interruption, etc) i.e. gestures (finger to lips to indicate need for quiet), facial expressions (i.e. a nod instead of a yes).

Cultural Differences in Non-verbal Communication

Posture

Consider the following actions and note cultural differences:

Bowing (not done, criticized, or affected in US; shows rank in Japan) Slouching (rude in most Northern European areas) Hands in pocket (disrespectful in Turkey) Sitting with legs crossed (offensive in Ghana, Turkey) Showing soles of feet. (Offensive in Thailand, Saudi Arabia) Even in US, there is a gender difference on acceptable posture?

Gestures
Impossible to catalog them all. But need to recognize: 1) incredible possibility and variety and 2) that an acceptable in ones own culture may be offensive in another. In addition, amount of gesturing varies from culture to culture. Some cultures are animated; other restrained. Restrained cultures often feel animated cultures lack manners and overall restraint. Animated cultures often feel restrained cultures lack emotion or interest. Even simple things like using hands to point and count differ. Pointing : US with index finger; Germany with little finger; Japanese with entire hand (in fact most Asians consider pointing with index finger to be rude) Counting: Thumb = 1 in Germany, 5 in Japan, middle finger for 1 in Indonesia.

Facial Expressions
While some say that facial expressions are identical, meaning attached to them differs. Majority opinion is that these do have similar meanings world-wide with respect to smiling, crying, or showing anger, sorrow, or disgust. However, the intensity varies from culture to culture. Note the following:
Many Asian cultures suppress facial expression as much as possible. Many Mediterranean (Latino / Arabic) cultures exaggerate grief or sadness while most American men hide grief or sorrow. Some see animated expressions as a sign of a lack of control. Too much smiling is viewed in as a sign of shallowness. Women smile more than men.

Eye Contact and Gaze

In USA, eye contact indicates: degree of attention or interest, influences attitude change or persuasion, regulates interaction, communicates emotion, defines power and status, and has a central role in managing impressions of others.

Western cultures see direct eye to eye contact as positive (advise children to look a person in the eyes). But within USA, African-Americans use more eye contact when talking and less when listening with reverse true for Anglo Americans. This is a possible cause for some sense of unease between races in US. A prolonged gaze is often seen as a sign of sexual interest. Arabic cultures make prolonged eye-contact. believe it shows interest and helps them understand truthfulness of the other person. (A person who doesnt reciprocate is seen as untrustworthy) Japan, Africa, Latin American, Caribbean avoid eye contact to show respect.

Touch
USA handshake is common (even for strangers), hugs, kisses for those of opposite gender or of family (usually) on an increasingly more intimate basis. Note differences between African-Americans and Anglos in USA. Most African Americans touch on greeting but are annoyed if touched on the head (good boy, good girl overtones). Islamic and Hindu: typically dont touch with the left hand. To do so is a social insult. Left hand is for toilet functions. Mannerly in India to break your bread only with your right hand (sometimes difficult for non-Indians) Islamic cultures generally dont approve of any touching between genders (even hand shakes). But consider such touching (including hand holding, hugs) between same-sex to be appropriate. Many Asians dont touch the head (Head houses the soul and a touch puts it in jeopardy).

Smell
USA fear of offensive natural smells (billion dollar industry to mask objectionable odors with what is perceived to be pleasant ) again connected with attractiveness concept. Many other cultures consider natural body odors as normal (Arabic). Asian cultures (Filipino, Malay, Indonesian, Thai, Indian) stress frequent bathing and often criticize USA of not bathing often enough!

Paralanguage
vocal characterizers (laugh, cry, yell, moan, whine, belch, yawn). These send different messages in different cultures (Japan giggling indicates embarrassment; India belch indicates satisfaction) vocal qualifiers (volume, pitch, rhythm, tempo, and tone). Loudness indicates strength in Arabic cultures and softness indicates weakness; indicates confidence and authority to the Germans,; indicates impoliteness to the Thais; indicates loss of control to the Japanese. (Generally, one learns not to shout in Asia for nearly any reason!). Gender based as well: women tend to speak higher and more softly than men. vocal segregates (un-huh, shh, uh, ooh, mmmh, humm, eh, mah, lah). Segregates indicate formality, acceptance, assent, uncertainty.

Improve your communication skill

Be friendly The happy and friendly people have charming personality and an edge to it. The friendly nature makes you popular among your colleagues, peer and social group. A man gets attracted towards the things that make him feel good and happy. So, always carry a sweet smile on your face and communicate in a friendly tone. Think before you speak Many people move their tongue faster than their mind. They speak whatever comes in their mind without giving a thought to it, reflecting themselves as stupid. Well, I firmly believe that its Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. Dont speak, just for sack of speaking

 Be clear People pretend to be intelligent and smart than others. They never say what exactly they wish to say and give hints at things. This indirect communication not only creates confusion, but lessens your respect in others eyes as well. None of us wants to spend time and energy to figure out such indirect communication. So, whenever you want to say something, first ask yourself, What would be the simple and straight way to communicate or put your point. Dont talk too much Last week I met with an event organizer. Very first I was impressed with him and thought of hiring him for upcoming events. Although, the more he communicated the less impressed I became. There are very few people who talk so much and make interesting conversation.

 Be Real We always find someone attractive who is real, genuine, speaks honest and doesnt pretend. When people are double faced, the only thing you will know for sure is that you cant trust either of their image. So, Be real. Speak with confidence Success comes with confidence and self belief. Confidence is more like self appreciation that gives you courage to speak up, lead the conversation and win hearts. People will only listen to you if you speak with confidence and belief in what you are saying. While speaking confidently, it is important to tone down your voice, make eye contact, and choosing positive and appropriate words along with proper body language.

 Focus on your body language Body language plays an important role in communication and conveying a message, even while having verbal communication. It brings meaning and communicates respect and interest. Be concise Most people get irritated from a detailed and confusing conversation. When someone is not clear or concise with what he or she wants to say, it makes a negative impact on listeners. If you find yourself in such situation, then ask yourself, How can I say what needs to be said using the few and appropriate words while still being courteous and respectful?