Looking Out/Looking In

Fourteenth Edition
8
Communication and
Relational Dynamics
CHAPTER TOPICS
Why We Form Relationships
Models of Relational Dynamics
Characteristics of Relationships
Communicating about Relationships
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COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Why We Form Relationships
Appearance
Is especially important in the early stages
Partners create positive illusions, viewing
another as more attractive over time
Similarity
We like people who are similar to us
Similarity is more important to relational
happiness than communication ability
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COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Why We Form Relationships
Complementarily
Differences strengthen relationships when
they are complementary
Each partners characteristics satisfy the others
needs
Reciprocal Attraction
We like people who like us usually
People who approve of us, bolster our self-
esteem
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COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Why We Form Relationships
Competence
We like to be around talented people
If a person is too talented it can be difficult to
be around them because they make us look
bad
Disclosure
Revealing information about yourself can help
to build liking
Not all disclosure leads to liking
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COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Why We Form Relationships
Proximity
We are likely to develop relationships with
people we interact with frequently
Allows us to get more information about other
people and benefit from relationship
Rewards
Social Exchange Theory
Relationships that give us rewards greater than or
equal to the costs of the relationship
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COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Models of Relational Dynamics
A Developmental Perspective
Mark Knapp
Rise and fall of relationships
Ten stages
Other researchers
Coming together
Coming apart
Relational maintenance
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COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Models of Relational Dynamics
Stages of Relational Development
Figure 8.1 Page 276
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COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Models of Relational Dynamics
Knapps Ten Stages of the Relationship
Initiating
Communication during this stage is usually brief
Usually follows a conventional formula
Experimenting
After initial contact we decide if we wish to pursue
the relationship further
Uncertainty reduction
The search for common ground
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COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Models of Relational Dynamics
Knapps Ten Stages of the Relationship
Intensifying
The interpersonal relationship begins to develop
The expression of feeling becomes more common
Integrating
Parties begin to take on identity as a social unit
Partners begin to take on each others
commitments
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COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Models of Relational Dynamics
Knapps Ten Stages of the Relationship
Bonding
Parties make symbolic public gestures
Commitment is increased during this stage
Differentiating
The We orientation shifts back to I
The stage is likely to occur when the relationship
experiences its first feelings of stress

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COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Models of Relational Dynamics
Knapps Ten Stages of the Relationship
Circumscribing
Communication decreases in quantity and quality
Restrictions and restraints
Stagnating
No growth occurs
The relationship is a hollow shell of its former self
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COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Models of Relational Dynamics
Knapps Ten Stages of the Relationship
Avoiding
Parties begin to create physical distance between
each other
Indirectly
Directly
Terminating
Includes summary dialogue
Relationships dont always move toward
termination in a straight line
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COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Models of Relational Dynamics
A Dialectical Perspective
Dialectical tensions
Conflicts that arise when two opposing or
incompatible forces exist simultaneously
Several dialectical forces that make successful
communication challenging
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COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Models of Relational Dynamics
A Dialectical Perspective
Dialectical tensions
Connection versus autonomy
Openness versus privacy
Predictability versus novelty
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COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Models of Relational Dynamics
A Dialectical Perspective
Managing dialectical tensions
Denial
Disorientation
Alternation
Segmentation
Balance
Integration
Recalibration
Reaffirmation

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COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Characteristics of Relationships
Relationships Are Constantly Changing
Rarely stable for long periods
A cycle in which partners move through a series of
stages
Relationships are affected by culture
A variety of differences can make relationships
between people from different cultures challenging
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COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Characteristics of Relationships
Relationships Are Affected by Culture
A variety of differences can make relationships
between people from different cultures challenging
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COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Communicating about
Relationships
Content and Relational Messages
Content Messages
The subject being discussed
Relational Messages
How the parties feel toward one another
Types of Relational Messages
Affinity
Immediacy
Respect
Control

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COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Communicating about
Relationships
Metacommunication
Messages that people exchange, verbally or
nonverbally, about their relationship
Communication about communication
Important method for resolving conflicts in a
constructive manner
Can be used as a way to reinforce the
satisfying aspects of a relationship
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COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Chapter Review
Why We Form Relationships
Models of Relational Dynamics
Characteristics of Relationships
Communicating about Relationships