THE SOLITUDE IS GREAT

18 September 1940 24 March 1941

WAR STORIES
We have need of all our courage are the words that come to
the surface this morning; on hearing that all our windows are
broken, ceilings down, & most of our china smashed at Meck.
Sq. The bomb exploded. . . . A grim morning.. . . . As I say, we
have need of courage. A very bad raid last night on London.
September 18, 1940

THE WAR ROUTINE

A bomb dropped so close I cursed L for slamming the window. I was writing
to Hugh, & then the pen jumped from my fingers. Raid still on. . . . All now
become familiar. I was thinking: (among other things) that this is a lazy life.
Breakfast in bed. Read in bed. Bath. Order dinner. Out to lodge. After
rearranging my room turning table to get the sun: Church on right; window
left; a new very lovely view) tune up, with cigarette: write till 12; stop; visit
L.: look at papers; return; type till 1. Listen in. Lunch. Sore jaw. Cant bite.
Read papers. Walk to Southease. Back 3. Gather & arrange apples. Tea.
Write a letter.

THE WAR ROUTINE

Bowls. Type again. Read Michelet & Write here. Cook dinner. Music.
Embroidery. 9.30 read (or sleep) till 11.30. Bed. Compare with the old
London day. Three afternoons someone coming. One night, dinner party.
Saturday a walk. Thursday shopping. Tuesday going to tea with Nessa.
One City walk. Telephone ringing. L. to meetings. KM or Robson bothering
that was an average week; with Friday to Monday here. (29 September)

CONNECTION TO THINGS
Plans for buying a house in Lewes & storing our furniture.
Perhaps hiring rooms for our books at the Rectory. Exhilaration
at losing possessions save at times I want my books & chairs
& carpets & beds How I worked to buy them one by one
and the pictures. But to be free of Meck. wd now be a relief. (
20 October)

AIR RAIDS AND MOTHERHOOOD

[After hearing the whistle of bombs] What about the children,
said Annies sister in law. Then Annie & two children appeared.
In the bus from Lewes they had seen the bombs fall near. No
one hurt as far as known. L. now holding agricultural meeting.
How instinctive the mothers reaction is! The childrenoff she
ran. (23 October)

ON WRITING
I am a little triumphant about the book. I think its an interesting
attempt in a new method. I think its more quintessential than the
other. More milk skimmed off. A richer pat, certainly fresher than
that misery The Years. Ive enjoyed writing almost every page.
This book was only (I must note) written at intervals when the
pressure was at its highest (23 November)

END OF 1940
I detest the hardness of old age I feel it. I rasp. Im tart. . . .
When Desmond praises East Coker, & I am jealous, I walk over
the marsh saying, I am I; & must follow that furrow, not copy
another. That is the only justification for my writing & living. How
one enjoys food now: I make up imaginary meals. (29
December)

1941
London is burning
Joyce is dead
Long entry on January 15 that looks back on her receiving
Ulysses for the first time.

Depression becomes more severe

DEPRESSION
A battle against depression, rejection routed today by clearing
our kitchen; by sending the article (a lame one) to N.S.; & by
breaking into PH 2 days, I think, of memoir writing.
This trough of despair shall not, I swear, engulf me. The
solitude is great (26 January)

FINAL ENTRY
Dressmakers two sons died in the war
L is doing the rhododendrons. . .