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Listening

The spoken word belongs


half to him who speaks
and
half to him who listens
French proverb
Speaki
ng
careful
ly
10/19/16

Listeni
ng
careful
ly
Communication Ver.1.1

Good
Communicati
on
1

Listening
Why do we have two ears and just one mouth?

Because

Listening is twice as difficult as speaking


and
we should speak less and listen more

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Communication Ver.1.1

Listening is an asset
Stop the chatter

Learn to listen

Mindless, Aimless,
Hot air

yap.y
ap.ya
p.

Words are precious.


Dont waste them.
Use with care.
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Communication Ver.1.1

Filtering Processing
Internalizing

hmm
.
hmm
.

Gathering pearls of
wisdom
3

Hearing vs. Listening


Hearing is not Listening
Boom
Bang
Chatter

Will you
marry
me?
I will

We hear with our ears


We cant help it
But we listen with our
mind, heart and soul
We need to learn it

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Communication Ver.1.1

Listening as a Skill
Listening needs:

The desire to listen

Positive attitude and self discipline

Concentration
(using ears, eyes and mind)

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Communication Ver.1.1

Listening as an Art
Listening needs:

Training and practice


Thought and patience
Analysis and Synthesis

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Communication Ver.1.1

Importance of Listening
Raises morale
Helps in delegation
Avoids conflicts
Avoids errors

t
Ge t
Se !
Go

No Undoing,
Unlearning,
Redoing

Avoids unnecessary repetition

Right man Right


job
We
are a
happ
y
famil
y!

Ive
seen
this
befor
e.
Dejav
u!

I understand I
know how you
feel.

Sympathetic listening does away with vague


discontent and doesnt allow matters to escalate
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Communication Ver.1.1

Listening Process
Hearing
Interpreting
Evaluating
Separating facts and opinions
Remembering
Responding

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Communication Ver.1.1

Barriers to Listening
Internal Barriers

Theres nothing
that you can
teach me

Its of no
use

Self Centeredness
Lack of motivation

Childish
way off
the
mark

Dreaming
Criticizing

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Communication Ver.1.1

Barriers to Listening
Internal Barriers

I doubt
it. I
wonder
.

I shouldnt
forget this
and this
oops! What
did he say???

Judging
Rehearsing
Cherry Picking
Excessive note taking

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Tell me
what I
want to
hear

Record
now
Listen
later

Communication Ver.1.1

10

Barriers to Listening
External Barriers
Im ill
Im
sleepy

Noise
Situations

Let me
listen
please

People

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11

Barriers to Listening
External Barriers

Jargon

Because you are a


sophisticated rhetorician
intoxicated by the
exuberance of your
bombosity

My maite kaime
home thee other
daie

Day or Die?
Mate or
Might?
Late or
Light?

Accent

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Communication Ver.1.1

12

Principles of Good Listening


Stop talking
Put the speaker at ease
Show the readiness to listen
Make eye contact
Be attentive

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Principles of Good Listening


Ignore distractions
Be patient
Understand the scope of
terms, nuances,
implications
Do not fidget or create any
disturbance
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Concept
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14

Principles of Good Listening


You want to
know about
Timbaktu?
Now?

Ask proper questions at proper time

Paraphrase

Yes I know what you


mean. This connects
with your previous
point.

Be open and objective

Read between the lines

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Communication Ver.1.1

Thats new but


interesting Go
on
Lets meet again
means we
disagreed
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Factors Inhibiting Listening


Difference in experience and background

Thrift is fear /
Thrift is
security

Fashion is vanity /
Fashion is keeping
up with the times

Listener doesnt understand the need to listen


Can you listen
for me while a
take a nap?
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Communication Ver.1.1

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Factors Inhibiting Listening


Our beliefs / personal preferences
Men should
be macho.
Working
abroad is
good/bad.

Money is a
bad thing.
Fashion is
vanity.

Emotional state of mind


I just had a fight.
Dont provoke me
with these strange
new ideas.
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Communication Ver.1.1

Things can only


get worse. They
always do.

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Factors Inhibiting Listening


Suspicion of the speakers motives

Is he trying to
prove that we
dont know
anything?

Inability to read between the lines


That looks
difficult.
Ok. So what can
we do to make it
easier?
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Communication Ver.1.1

What is he
trying to
promote
himself, his
ideology, his
company?

May be we can
do business
some other
time..
When?
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Types of Listening
Content Listening is
to:
understand

Did you
notice the
speakers
dress,
hairstyle,
accent? It
was
atrocious.

No, I didnt .
The sum
and
substance
was
excellent.

retain information
make mental notes
clarify doubts
review
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Types of Listening
Critical Listening is to:
evaluate at various levels

India is the most


invaded country
in the world.
England is the
least.

look for logic, evidence,


validity, implications,
motives, credibility,
feasibility

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Communication Ver.1.1

Globalization has
brought prosperity
and unity.

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Types of Listening
Active or Empathic listening is to:
provide a vent by understanding

Women are
neither sub
human nor
super human

the feelings
needs
points of view

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If you prick us, do we not


bleed? If you tickle us, do
we not laugh? If you poison
us, do we not die? And if
you wrong us, shall we not
revenge?
. Shylock

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Types of Listeners
The Preoccupieds:
rushed, constantly looking around or doing
something else

The Out to Lunchers:


mentally absent, blank look on their faces,
either daydreaming or thinking about something
else
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Communication Ver.1.1

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Types of Listeners
The Interrupters:
focused on trying to guess what the speaker
will say, constantly interrupting

The Whatevers:
remain aloof, show little emotion when listening,
do not seem to care about anything the speaker
has to say
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Communication Ver.1.1

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Types of Listeners
The Eager beaver:
pretends to understand, nods, smiles,
eyes out of focus

The Bewildered listener :


slow - problems with concepts and language

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Types of Listeners
The Frowner :
pretends to be intellectual, as if about to
ask a question

The Relaxed:
neutral, dead pan face,
stares at something or somebody

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Types of Listeners
The Busy Bee:
writing, talking, fidgeting,
glancing into books, attention seeker

The Combative:
enjoy disagreeing and blaming others, looking
for trouble, silently snarling

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Types of Listeners
The Analysts:
constantly in an
analyze-what-you-are-saying-and-fix-it mode

The Engagers:
aware, listening through eyes, ears and mind
participates actively and intelligently,
body language in sync with thoughts,
interested, objective
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I am Listening
OK

Verbal Signals

Verbal Nods

an
h
a
m
m
uh
m
m
h
m

I
see

Oh y
Ive es
be e n
ther
e too

Validating Statements

Statements of Support

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I am Listening
Non Verbal Signals

Good eye contact


Facial expressions
Body language

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