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Dr. Kanwal
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Parenting Focus
(At- Tahrim:6)
"O, Believers Save yourselves and your dependents from the fire
whose fuel are humans and the stones. over which are (appointed)
angels stern (and) severe, who flinch not (from executing) the
Commands they receive from Allah, but do (precisely) what they are
commanded.
Nature of Child
Abu Hurairah reported Allah's Messenger
as saying:
No child is born but upon Fitra. He then
said. Recite: The nature made by Allah in
which He created man, there is no altering
of Allah's nature; that is the right religion.
(Muslim)
Define Parenting
Static Behavior
Roles in family not defined
Future targets vague
All running after instant gratification
No execution plan
But after them there followed a posterity
who missed prayers and followed after lusts
soon, then, will they face Destruction
(Surah Maryam:59)
Fact Sheet
In the primary age range, the impact on achievement
of different levels of parental involvement is bigger
than differences associated with variations in the
quality of schools. Home influence is powerful
because it is enduring, pervasive and direct.
Children absorb enthusiasm and a positive attitude
towards learning from their relationships with adults
at home. A parent who feels it is his or her role and
believes they can make a difference, models positive
interest in learning.
Research by Desforges and Abouchaar 2003
Focus of a Muslim
And this was the legacy that Abraham left to his sons, and
so did Jacob; "Oh my sons! Allah hath chosen the Faith
for you; then die not except in the Faith of Islam.
(Al-Baqarah: 132)
Allah is my Lord
Islam is my religion
Rasoolullah Salla Allahu
ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam
(He is the Messenger of
Almighty Allah
Activity
How to prepare children for these
three questions?
Authoritarian:
Limits without Freedom
Definition:
Parents word is law, parents have absolute
control.
Misconduct is punished
Affection and praise are rarely give
Parents try to control children's behavior and attitudes
They value unquestioned obedience
Children are told what to do, how to do it, and where to
do it, and when to do it.
Obedient
Distrustful
Discontent
Withdrawn
Unhappy
Hostile
Not High Achievers
Often Rebel
(Ale-Imran: 159)
Permissive:
Freedom without limits
Definition:
Parents allow their children to do their own
thing.
Aggressive
Least selfcontrolled
Least
exploratory
Most unhappy
Authoritative:
Freedom within limits.
Definition:
Middle ground between the two above
)al-Nahl: 125(
Score Yourself
Parenting styles
Fathers:
Roughhouses with children; plays
louder
Encourage competition
Do not modify language for the
childs sake
Talk is brief, direct, and to the point,
with subtle body language and facial
expressions
Help children prepare for harshness
and reality of the real world
Mothers:
Gentle with children; plays
quieter
Encourage equity
Simplifies words and talks on
childs level
Talk is more descriptive,
personal, expressive of feelings,
and verbally encouraging
Help protect children from the
real world
Parenting styles
Fathers:
Mothers:
Need to belong
Seek Attention
Sharp Observation
Reaction to obstacles
Respect vs Disrespect
Role Model respect
Polite manners
Activity
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