KMU 1013 HELPING

RELATIONSHIPS
Never stop doing little things for others. Sometimes those
little things occupy the biggest part of their hearts.
Unknown Author
UNIT 1:
INTRODUCTION TO HELPING
RELATIONSHIP
GROUP 1 :LECTURERS

Name Email Tel Room

Mdm Salmah Mohamad Yusoff mysalmah@unimas.my 082-581534 Level 2, FCSHD

Mr Mohd Razali Othman orazali@unimas.my 082-581556 Level 2, FCSHD

Mdm Samsiah J ayos jsamsiah@unimas.my 082-584192 Level 1, Institute of

East Asean Studies,
FSS
Mr Merikan Aren amerikan@unimas.my 082-584161 Level 1, Institute of
East Asean Studies,
FSS
GROUP 2 :LECTURERS

Name Email Tel Room

Mdm Aina Razlin Mohammad mrarazlin@unimas.my 082-581555 Level 2, FCSHD
Roose

Mdm Siti Norazilah Mohd msnorazilah@unimas.my 082-581544 Level 2, FCSHD

Said
What is Helping

An effective helper does not interrupt with the role

and function of a helpee while solving the problems.

An effective helper must have a belief on peoples

worth of which they are capable to change and
acquire personal strengths and abilities.

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 THINK ABOUT IT

THINK ABOUT TIME IN YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU BENEFITED

FROM CONTACT WITH A HELPER. IN WHAT WAY DID THIS
PERSON HELP YOU? WHAT DID HE OR SHE DO OR NOT
DO?

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The Counsellor as a Therapeutic Person

Helping is an intimate form of learning demands a

practitioner to be an authentic person in therapeutic
relationship.

If we hide behind the safety of our professional role our

helpee will likely keep themselves hidden from us.

Our own genuineness has a significant /important effect on

our relationship with our helpee.
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The Counsellor as a Therapeutic Person

Our helpee can be encouraged by our way of being with

them.

If we model authenticity by engaging in appropriate (self

disclosure) - helpee tend to be honest with us as well.

Helpee place more value on personality rather than

techniques (Norcross & Lambert, 2011)

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The Counsellor as a Therapeutic Person

The personal and interpersonal components are essential to

effective psychotherapy (Wampold, 2001).

It is not theories or techniques that heal the suffering helpee

but the dimensions of therapy and the meanings that
occur between therapist and helpee as they work together.

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Personal Characteristics of Effective Helpers

Particular personal qualities and characteristics of helpers

are significant in creating a therapeutic alliance with helpee.

The list is intended to stimulate you to examine ideas your

own ideas about what kind of person can make a significant
different in the lives of others:

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Personal Characteristics of Effective Helpers

Effective therapists have an identity.

Effective therapists respect and appreciate themselves.
Effective therapists are open to change.
Effective therapists make choices that are life oriented.
Effective therapists are authentic, sincere and honest.

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The Helpers Values and The Therapeutic Process

How values can influence their interventions with

helpee:
The role of values in helping.
The role of values in developing therapeutic goals.

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Benefits For The Helper

The process of helping can have beneficial consequences for the

helper as well (Small,n.d).
Helping others benefits a person in a variety of ways.
Person who help others will feel needed and gain self worth by
helping others.
Increase positive self regards while giving and assisting others.
Helper feels better psychologically when assisting others.

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Benefits For The Helper

Increase ability to solve own problem when often assisting

others.

Helping is a reciprocal process and it will benefit both

helper and helpee.

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Characteristics Of Helpers

Counselling experts suggested that effective helpers

have a number of traits in common.

The characteristics include positive regard or

acceptance of the other person, patience, honesty,
and humility.

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Characteristics Of Helpers

Positive Regard
Patience
Honesty
Humility

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 THINK ABOUT IT

WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO BE A HELPER/ VOLUNTEER?

WHAT RELATIONSHIP SKILLS AND HELPING QUALITIES DO
YOU POSSES?

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Facilitative Aspects of Helping

There are number of ways in which helping can be facilitative

such as for people in emotional pain.
Helping can provide support and relief.
Through the process of helping, clients can also gain insight,
such that they come to understand themselves in new ways.
Helping can assist individuals in dealing with the existential
concerns (i.e., who am I, where am I going, and what do I
want out of life?).
Helping can promote proactive involvement in life.

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Facilitative Aspects of Helping

Clients can learn skills needed to live more effectively and reach their potential
(effective communication, practicing ways to resolve conflicts, becoming more
assertive, identifying decision-making strategies, studying more effectively,
learning to relax, or changing unhealthy habits.

Helping can also assist individuals in making decisions about their life direction.

The most effective helpers have the ability to assists individuals in determining
goals that are consistent with their dreams, values, and abilities.

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Facilitative Aspects of Helping

Facilitative aspect of helping involves a process whereby

helpers provide feedback about how clients appear to others,
information that others may hesitate to provide.
Helping process also allows a client to experience a healthy,
non-damaging, and intimate relationship with other person.
Clients can function independently through an effective
helping process.

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Problematic Aspects of Helping

Although helping is usually beneficial, there are few potentially

problematic aspects.
Sometimes helping can provide just enough relief to enable people to
stay in the maladaptive situations or relationships.
Helping can create dependency if clients rely too much on their helpers
for support and feel unable to explore feelings or make changes in their
lives without assistance from the helper.

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Problematic Aspects of Helping

Helper's personal issues sometimes place them at risk for

encouraging dependency in those they assist.
Another problematic aspect of helping emerges when
helpers unduly impose personal or societal values on their
clients (McWhirter,1994).
It can be problematic when helpers work outside their areas
of competence (e.g. working with someone who has
substance abuse but not having knowledge about that area)

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Awareness of Self And Personal Values

Helpers need to have an awareness and understanding of

their own values, beliefs, and needs.
This awareness assist the helper in being honest not only
with him/herself but also with those he/she helps.
Although helping process is to some degree related to the
mutual relationship between helper and helpee, the helper
must know the limitation of helping relationship as a means of
fulfilling personal needs

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Awareness of Self And Personal Values

In gaining this awareness, we have to ask ourselves why we help

others?
Helpers often help because to do so is consistent with their values and
beliefs, and because they are sincerely concerned with the welfare of
others.
However some people help because they need power and superiority.
And some people help because they are taught that they should help
although they feel burdened and uncomfortable.
Appropriate motives will enhance the development of an effective
helping relationship and facilitate an effective helping.

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Awareness of Self And Personal Values

Helpers also need to be aware on their own personal

values and beliefs so that we do not allow them to interfere
with our ability to help.
Helpers have to understand others value and be non-
judgmental in helping others.
As helper, it is our goal to empower others to help
themselves.

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Self Reflection Activity

What are your motives for helping?

Did you benefit from this relationship in any way? How?
What was your role in the helping relationship?
In what way do you think you help this person?
Looking back, is there anything that you might have done differently?
Was there anything that this person did, said or believed that you did not agree with?

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Conclusion

Explanation on the social aspect of human behaviour and the

characteristics of helper can be a guideline in becoming a
helper.
The understanding on the guidance process will enhance the
helping relationship.

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