EISTER’s POSTULATE

• Emotions are important because if

we did not have them, nothing else
would matter...
• Emotions are the stuff of life……..
….The most important bond or the
glue that links us together
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

Definition

• Interpersonal communication is an exchange of information

between two or more people.

• During interpersonal communication there is message

sending and message receiving

Perspective

• The quality of our interpersonal communication will

determine the quality of our work and quality of our life

• Interpersonal communication skills can be learned

3
 COMPONENTS OF INTERPERSONAL
COMMUNICATION

Conversation

Listening

Body language

Emotional Awareness

Personal Appearance
4
 EMOTIONAL AWARENESS

Emotional awareness provides you the tools

needed for understanding both yourself and
other people, and the real messages they
are communicating to you.

Emotional awareness helps you to……..

• Understand and empathize with what is really troubling other people

• Understand yourself, including what’s really troubling you and what
you really want
• Stay motivated to understand and empathize with the person you’re
interacting with, even if you don’t like them or their message
• Communicate clearly and effectively, even when delivering negative
messages
• Build strong, trusting, and rewarding relationships, think creatively,
solve problems, and resolve conflicts 5
 EMOTIONAL AWARENESS

Emotional awareness is a skill you can learn

• You can develop emotional awareness by learning how to get in touch

with difficult emotions and manage uncomfortable feelings
• anger, sadness, fear, disgust, surprise, and joy

When you know how to do this, you can remain in control

of your emotions and behavior, even in very challenging
situations
• This will help you to communicate more clearly and
effectively

6
 ROLE OF EMOTIONS IN
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
 EMOTIONs
Emotions are physiological, behavioral, and/or
communicative reactions to stimuli that are cognitively
processed and experienced as emotional (Planlap, Fitness,
& Fehr, 2006)

• This definition includes several important dimensions of

emotions. First, emotions are often internally experienced
through physiological changes such as increased heart rate, a
tense stomach, or a cold chill
• These physiological reactions may not be noticeable by others
and are therefore intrapersonal unless we exhibit some
change in behavior that clues others into our internal state or
we verbally or nonverbally communicate our internal state

Emotion is "the body's multidimensional response to any

event that enhances or inhibits one's goals.“
 UNDERSTANDING EMOTIONS

Responses that involve:

• Psychological Arousal
• Expressive Behaviors
• Conscious Experience

Did you make the team?

Posting of the names that did by the locker rooms. You and
your friend both tried out for the football team.

• Psychological – Increased heart rate as you read the good news,

decreased heart rate as you console your disappointed friend
• Expressive – Smiling and pumping your first after seeing your name,
looking the smile and putting your arm around your friend’s shoulder
when you notice his name is missing
• Conscious – Interpreting what it means to be a member, and what it
means to your friend to be left out.
 WHO IS EMOTIONAL

Humans are the most emotional amongst

different species

Debatable Statement

• What comes first, psychological arousal or the subjective

experience of an emotion?
• Do you feel happy because your heart is pounding or is your
heart pounding because you feel happy?
• Can we react emotionally before appraising a situation, or does
thinking always precede emotion?
• Did you feel joy at seeing your name on the list before you
thought about what that meant, or did you interpret the situation
and then feel joy?
 THEORIES OF EMOTION

William James – Carl Lange Theory

• Our experience of emotion is our awareness of our

psychological responses to an emotion-arousing stimulus

• Example: Fire alarm sounds, you start shaking, you become

aware of the shaking and you label this reaction as fear
 THEORIES OF EMOTION

Walter Cannon-Bard Theory

• Emotion-arousing stimulus simultaneously triggers

• Psychological responses
• Subjective experience of emotion

The heart races whether we’re frightened, angry or exhilarated.

So how can we label that as fear if it is because we are excited?

How can the same psychological reaction trigger different

emotional interpretations ?

Peeling an onion
 THEORIES OF EMOTION

2 Factor Theory by Stanley Schachter and Jermone Singer

• To experience emotion, one must

• Be physically aroused
• Cognitively label the arousal, to distinguish characteristic
among emotions we are feeling
Our physical experiences of emotion are so similar that we
must label the emotion in order to experience it
• If your aroused and you believe that appropriate emption is
fear, you’ll feel AFRAID
• If you think anger is the app Emotion, you’ll instead explain
your arousal as ANGER
TYPES OF EMOTIONS
 PRIMARY EMOTIONS

Primary emotions are innate emotions that are experienced for

short periods of time and appear rapidly, usually as a reaction to
an outside stimulus, and are experienced similarly across
cultures.

The primary emotions are joy, distress,

anger, fear, surprise, and disgust.

Members of a remote tribe in New Guinea, who had never been

exposed to Westerners, were able to identify these basic
emotions when shown photographs of US Americans making
corresponding facial expressions (Evans, 2001).
 SECONDARY EMOTIONS

Secondary emotions are not as innate as primary emotions,

and they do not have a corresponding facial expression that
makes them universally recognizable.

Secondary emotions are processed by a different part of the

brain that requires higher order thinking; therefore, they are
not reflexive.

Secondary emotions are love, guilt, shame, embarrassment,

pride, envy, and jealousy (Evans, 2001). These emotions
develop over time, take longer to fade away, and are
interpersonal because they are most often experienced in
relation to real or imagined others.
 SECONDARY EMOTIONS

You can be fearful of a the dark but feel guilty about an unkind
comment made to your mother or embarrassed at the thought of
doing poorly on a presentation in front of an audience

Since these emotions require more processing, they are more

easily influenced by thoughts and can be managed, which means
we can become more competent communicators by becoming
more aware of how we experience and express secondary
emotions

Although there is more cultural variation in the meaning and

expression of secondary emotions, they are still universal in that
they are experienced by all cultures. It’s hard to imagine what
our lives would be like without emotions, and in fact many
scientists believe we wouldn’t be here without them
TYPICAL EMOTIONS

Anger

Anxiety

Content

Disgust

Fear

Gratitude

Guilt
TYPICAL EMOTIONS

Happiness

Jealousy

Joy

Pleasure

Relief

Sadness

Surprise
 ROLE OF EMOTIONS
TYPES OFIN
EMOTIONS
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
 EFFECT OF EMOTIONS

Emotional expression has a tremendous effect on health and

well-being

Physiological Effects
• Emotional suppression increases risk of physical problems such as,
cancer, asthma, heart disease (DeAngelis, 1992)
• Emotional inhibition also causes a increased risk for psychological
problems, such as, anxiety or depression (Krause et al., 2003)
• Overly aggressive expression can lead to high blood pressure and
increased stress (Mayne, 1993)

Relational Effects
• Pent-up emotions are harder to control and more likely to be expressed
violently
• Lack of expression leads to relationship stagnation
• Healthy emotional expression increases intimacy, promotes relationship
growth, and allows problems to be fixed before they escalate
HEALTHY EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION

Recognise your feelings

Choose the best language

Share multiple feelings

Differentiate between Feeling and Acting

 RECOGNISE YOUR FEELINGS

Pay attention to your body

Know your “Emotional Triggers”

Don’t underestimate the Importance of Feelings

Watch your Gestures

 CHOOSE THE BEST LANGUAGE

“Wanting” isn’t the same thing as “Feeling”

Don’t rely on Common Adjectives

Be Specific

Use Metaphors or Examples

State the cause of the Emotion when possible

 SHARE MULTIPLE FEELINGS

Feelings are all related

Same event can cause many different emotions

Express as many emotions as possible

Don’t be afraid to Elaborate

 DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN
FEELING AND ACTING

Don’t try to be a Hero

Don’t pretend to feel something you don’t

Simply acting on feelings does not always

alleviate them

Feelings do not always have to lead to action

 DICTATES FOR EMOTIONAL
EXPRESSION

Accept responsibility for your Feelings

• Don’t blame others for your feelings in your expression, even if

they are the cause
• Don’t try to hide or cover up your feelings to please someone else

Choose the Best Time and Place

• Give yourself some time to prepare

• Plan out what you are going to say; write it down if you like.
• Don’t have an emotional discussion when you are tired, sick, or
under severe stress
• Devote the necessary time
• Make sure the other person is prepared to listen
 WHEN NOT TO EXPRESS EMOTIONS

If you are sure you will have difficulty controlling your

emotions

If the other person is unable to listen at that moment

If the consequences might be worse than dealing with

the emotions (authority figure)

• Look for an indirect route

• Enlist a third party or Mediator
 EXPRESSING POSITIVE EMOTIONS

Most people associate emotional expression with

problems or difficulties

Happiness is also an Emotion

Feel free to express happiness, confidence, success

and contentment

Praise and complement your significant other when

you are proud of them

Must be aware of the time and place

 SUMMARISATION
SUMMARY

Emotional expression is healthy and necessary for

good relationships

Know how you feel and why you feel it

Express your emotions calmly and specifically

“Acting out” isn’t necessary

Choose your time and place carefully

Don’t be afraid to express positive emotions

 MANAGING DIFFICULT EMOTIONS

Facilitative Emotions at contribute to effective functioning

Debilitative Emotions hinder or prevent effective

performance
• Intensity
• Duration

Fallacy - An idea that a lot of people think is true but is in

fact false i.e a false belief

• It is a common fallacy that only men are good at math

• It is a common fallacy that women are worse drivers than men
 DEBILITATIVE EMOTIONS

Fallacy of Perfection
• A communicator should handle all situations well
• Very inspiring, but unrealistic

Fallacy of Approval

• A communicator has to constantly obtain everyone’s approval

• Communicator sacrifices their own principles and/or happiness

Fallacy of Should

• A communicator does not distinguish between what is and what

should be
• Communicator often wants others to behave differently
 DEBILITATIVE EMOTIONS

Fallacy of Overgeneralization
• A communicator doesn’t distinguish between what is & what should be
• Communicator often wants others to behave differently
Fallacy of Causation
• A communicator feels they shouldn’t do anything to hurt or
inconvenience others
• Often communicator’s needs are overlooked
Fallacy of Helplessness
• Forces beyond a communicators control determine their satisfaction
• Causes the communicator to feel like a victim
Fallacy of Catastrophic Expectations
• A communicator believes if something bad can happen, it will
• Causes ruminations of thoughts and feelings
 MANAGING DEBILITATIVE EMOTIONS

Monitor your emotional reactions

Note activating/triggering events

• Specific people
• Specific events

Dispute irrational events

• Why they are irrational events

• Why do you have them
 EMOTIONAL CLASSY SCENES
FROM A BIOPIC RELEASED ON 29 JUN 2018
 EQ-I2.0 MODEL

Copyright © 1997, 2011 Multi-Health Systems Inc. All rights reserved.

 EQ-I2.0 MODEL

Self Regard
• Respecting oneself
• Strengths & weaknesses
• Inner strength & Confidence

Self Actualization
• Life purpose
• Quest to improve oneself

Emotional Self Awareness

• Recognizing and understanding one’s emotions
• Differentiation of emotions & impact
 SELF EXPRESSION

Emotional Self Expression

• Open expression of feelings
• Verbally & Non verbally
Assertiveness
• Communicating feelings, beliefs, thoughts openly
• Defending them in socially acceptable ways
• Non offensive & Non destructive
Independence
• Self directed
• Decision making, planning,
• Autonomy
 INTERPERSONAL

Interpersonal Relationships

• Developing & maintaining satisfying relationships

• Trust & Compassion

Empathy
• Recognizing, understanding, & appreciating other’s
feelings
• Articulate understanding & behave respectfully
Social Responsibility

• Contributing to society
• Acting responsible, social consciousness, concern
 DECISION MAKING

 Problem solving
 Solutions to situations that involve emotions
 Impact of emotions on decision making
 Reality Testing
 Being objective
 Recognizing emotions & personal bias
 Impulse Control
 Managing impulses
 Ability to avoid rash decisions & behaviors
 STRESS MANAGEMENT

 Flexibility
 Adapting emotions, thoughts, & behaviors to new
surroundings/situations’
 Stress Tolerance
 Coping with stressful/different situations
 Managing & influencing situations positively
 Optimism
 Remaining hopeful & resilient-despite setbacks
 Positive attitude