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Prefer Short, Familiar Words

Chapter 4
Constructing Clear
Sentences and
Paragraphs

McGraw-Hill/Irwin Copyright © 2011 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Using Shorter Sentences

• Too much information in one sentence clutter’s


thoughts and deters communication.
• Sentences should have readability.
• Readability – writer being able to communicate with
the average middle – level adult reader.
• Limit the sentence content. Two different types of
thoughts and ideas should be in two different
sentences.
• Rule: Question a sentence that has more than 16-18
words.
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However Do Remember!!

• Do not overuse short sentences.


• Too much of it can give a choppy effect to
readings and make it sound immature.
• Occasionally use moderately long
sentences.
• Increases reader interest and adds variety.

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How to Shorten & Simplify Sentences

• Two Basic Ways


– Limit Sentence Content: Mentally select
different thought contents and then make
separate sentences for each.
– Economizing on Words: Finding shorter ways
of saying things.

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Example: Limit Sentence Content

DON’T
Many consumers have expressed dissatisfaction with the relatively
high prices of the new Japanese cars, but this has not prevented
large numbers of people from purchasing these cars and pushing
sales higher than many automotive experts had forecast, thus
firmly entrenching the Japanese cars in a large segment of the
automobile market.

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Example: Limit Sentence Content

DO
Many consumers have expressed dissatisfaction with the relatively
high prices of the new Japanese cars. However, this has not
prevented large numbers of people from purchasing these cars.
This pushed sales higher than what many automotive experts had
forecast. The Japanese cars have thus become entrenched in a
large segment of the automobile market.

4 shorter sentences compared to one long


one.
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Economizing on Words
1. Cluttering Phrases: A phrase that can be
replaced by shorter wording without loss of
meaning.
In the event that payment is not made by
January, operations will stop.
If payment is not made by January, operations
will stop.

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Economizing on Words
Cluttering Phrases Shorter Substitutions
1. Along the lines of 1. Like
2. At the present time 2. Currently/Now
3. For the reason that 3. Because/ Since
4. For the purpose of 4. For
5. With regard to 5. About
6. In the near future 6. Soon

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Economizing on Words
2. Surplus Words: Avoid words that add nothing to
sentence meaning.
He ordered desks that are of the executive type.
He ordered executive-types desk.

In the period between June and August we detected


the problem
Between June and August we detected the problem
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Economizing on Words
3. Roundabout Construction: Direct ways are shorter
and help to communicate better.
The president is of the opinion that the tax was paid.
The president believes the tax was paid.
During the time she was employed by the law-firm,
Donna was absent only once.
While employed by the law-firm, Donna was absent
only once.
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Economizing on Words
4. Duplications: Repeating words, unless required for
emphasis is simply redundant.
Our new model is longer in length, than the new one.
Our new model is longer, than the new one.

We should plan in advance for the future.


We should plan.

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Giving Sentences Unity

For a sentence to have unity all the parts must


combine to form one clear thought.
Violation of sentence unity can be caused by 2
problems
1. Unrelated Ideas
2. Excessive details

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Unrelated Ideas
Two or more ideas in one sentence is not
grammatically wrong, but they must have a reason
for being together.
The weather was unusually bad last month, and
sales of B&H products increased 12%.
Even though the weather was unusually bad last
month, sales of B&H products increased 12%.

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Excessive Details
Putting too much detail into one sentence tends to hide the
central thought. If the detail feels important then put it in a
separate sentence.
Our New York offices, considered plush in the 1990s but now
badly in need of renovation, as is the case with most
offices that have not been maintained and thus
abandoned.
Considered plush in the 1990s, our New York offices have not
been maintained properly. As they badly need repair we
have abandoned them.
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Word Sentences Logically

Illogically worded sentences occur due to the


following 3 reasons
1.Mixed Construction: Jumbling up tense, person,
numbers etc.
Consumers should read the nutrition labels, but
you often don’t take the time to do so.
Consumers should read the nutrition labels, but
they often don’t take the time to do so.

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Word Sentences Logically

2.Misplaced/Dangling Modifiers: Putting illogical


modifiers or giving them nothing to modify in the
sentence.
Eagerly awaiting her birthday, Mary's presents were
all picked up.
Eagerly awaiting her birthday, Mary picked up all her
presents.
Hoping to excuse my lateness, the note was written
and given to my teacher.
Hoping to excuse my lateness, I wrote a note and gave
it to my teacher.
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Word Sentences Logically
3. Faulty Parallelism: Similarity in words, phrases, or
clauses that have similar functions in a sentence.

Eating, sleeping & to dance are a few of my favorite


activities.
Eating, sleeping & dancing are a few of my favorite
activities.
The man walked down the street, stopped at a shop
window, and was fixing his tie.
The man walked down the street, stopped at a shop
window, and fixed his tie.

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How to Make Paragraphs Coherent
Show coherence through repetition of key words:
• Before buying plants you should know which varieties
are adapted to your area. Adapted varieties usually
are sold by local nurseries.
• Preferably you should state the problem in writing.
Stating the problem this way is good for many reasons.

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How to Make Paragraphs Coherent

Show coherence through the use of pronouns

• If you think Mr. James is most interested in the conclusion,


begin with the conclusion. A direct beginning will permit
him to make his decision without delay. If he has
confidence in your work, he may not choose to read
beyond this point.

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How to Make Paragraphs Coherent
Show coherence through the use of transition words:
• The promotion failed for two reasons. First, we
had very little preparation time. Second, we were
extremely short of experienced salespeople.
• For three years we had no funds for maintaining
the equipment. As a result, we have suffered a
succession of breakdowns.
• They built the building on the site that had been
filled. Consequently, the foundation cracked.

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Paragraph Design

• Put one idea or topic in one paragraph


• Introduce a new idea into the next paragraph
• Construct shorter paragraphs for better
organization
• Good practice- question a paragraph that is
longer than 10 lines
• Paragraphs should be coherent.
• Remember- to have an intro, a middle and an
ending to your writing.

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