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Example of judgmental
Example of non-judgmental
Supportive–critical
• Supportive feedback accepts the speaker and what the speaker says.
It occurs, for example, when you console another, encourage him or
her to talk, or otherwise confirm the person’s definition of self.
• Critical feedback, on the other hand, is evaluative; it’s judgmental.
When you give critical feedback (whether positive or negative), you
judge another’s performance—as in, for example, coaching someone
learning a new skill.
Conclusion
• Of course, these categories are not exclusive. Feedback does not have
to be either critical or supportive; it can be both. For example, in
talking with someone who is trying to become a more effective
interviewer, you might critically evaluate a practice interview but also
express support for the effort. Similarly, you might respond to a
friend’s question immediately and then after a day or two elaborate
on your response. Because each situation is unique, it’s difficult to
offer specific suggestions for making your feedback more effective.
But, with some adjustments for the specifics of the situation, the
following guides might prove helpful:
Conclusion
• < Focus on the message rather than the motives behind the message or behavior. Say, for example,
“You forgot my birthday” rather than “You don’t love me.”
< If your feedback is largely negative, try to begin with something positive. There are always positives
if you look hard enough. The negatives will be much easier to take, after hearing some positives.
< Ask for feedback on your feedback, for example, say “Does this make sense?” “Do you understand
what I want our relationship to be?”
< When you’re the recipient of feedback, be sure to show your interest in feedback. This is vital
information that will help you improve whatever you’re doing. Encourage the feedback giver. Be
open to hearing this feedback. Don’t argue; don’t be defensive.
< Check your perceptions. Do you understand the feedback? Ask questions. Not all feedback is easy
to understand; after all, a wink, a backward head nod, or a smile can each signal a variety of different
messages. When you don’t understand the meaning of the feedback, ask for clarification
(nondefensively, of course). Paraphrase the feedback you’ve just received to make sure you both
understand it: “You’d be comfortable taking over the added responsibilities if I went back to school?”