Wordiness

in the
Workplace
GROUP 1: ARACELY VALDEZ, STEPHANY
RIOS, PRISCILLA HERNANDEZ, JACOB RUBIO
Concise v. Wordiness 

Concise  Wordiness

Minimal word count  "Fluff" words 

Sufficient information to convey Distracts reader from critical

critical message  message

Concrete words  Complex or abstract words 

Coyote v. ACME (1990) Lawsuit
 Due to the company’s negligence and discursive labeling, Mr.
Coyote suffered severe injuries and experienced financial distress

 Consequently:
 Mr. Coyote sought compensation from the company
 ACME lost $38,750,000
 Mr. Coyote acquired ACME Industries after winning the product
liability lawsuit
 Mr. Coyote wishes to improve his employees’ workplace writing skills.
Potential Impacts
 Personnel
 Decrease in productivity and performance
 Poor internal communication
 Reputation 
 Documents that lack conciseness will exhibit how work is completed in
their professional setting
 Poor writing diminishes the potential trust customers had
 Finances 
 Discursive writing can lead to a loss in business relationships and
sales
 Interpretation of poorly written language results in wasted work hours
and loss of money
How to Correct the Problem
Avoid:
 Redundant adjectives that precede nouns
 Adverb combinations with similar meanings or no contribution
 Hollow adverbs and adjectives that pad sentences
 Weak words of little meaning
 All-purpose words
 Vague sentences
 Unmodified nouns and adjectives that are interpreted categorically
 Excessive use of adjectives, adverbs, abstract nouns, and prepositions
 Phrases that slow the reader and add no meaning
Redundant Meanings
 Adjectives with meanings in the nouns they precede
 Foreign imports, first priority, group meeting, personal opinion, future
plan, etc.

 Adverbs with the same meaning as the verb they are used with.
 Repeat again, perfectly clear, cooperate together, etc.
Words that Contribute Nothing
 Adverbs that contribute nothing and weaken accompanying words.
 Decidedly, admittedly, needlessly, basically, undoubtedly, etc.

Improper: “Admittedly, he was aware of the benefits of the use of

purposefully aimed productivity bonuses."

Proper: “He was aware of the benefits of productivity bonuses.”

Words That Persuade Rather
Than State Facts
 Nonconcrete words offer little information and lean towards
persuasion rather than facts.
 Rather, little, almost, sometimes, maybe, enough, probably, etc.

Improper: “The new price strategy had quite a positive impact on

sales in recent months.”

Proper: “The 10 percent price reductions increased sales by more

than 25 percent in the past six months.”
Scale v. Categorical Interpretations

 Modified nouns and adjectives interpreted on a scale weaken

meaning
 Very, highly, extremely, etc.

Improper: “Tom made it very clear that he thinks we are perfectly

capable of solving this extremely complex problem.”

Proper: “Tom made it clear that he thinks we are capable of solving

this complex problem.”
Phrases That Slow The Reader

 Phrases which slow down the reader and should be eliminated.

 There is, it is important, it is interesting to note, before we begin, I can
assure you, etc.

Improper: “It is notable that sales increased by more than 10 percent

in the third quarter of 2017.”

Proper: “Sales increased by more than 10 percent in the third quarter

of 2017.”
Reducible Expressions
 Excessive use of adjectives, adverbs, abstract nouns, prepositions,
and other long expressions which could be reduced.
 With regard to (regarding, about), at this point in time (now), in spite of
the fact that (although), in many instances (often), etc.

Improper: “The state provided funds for the purpose of research.”

Proper: “The state provided funds for research.”

Final
Thoughts 
By attending this workshop
you are: 
 Helping the company
prosper
 Improving the workplace
environment 
 Coming together as a
company family to resolve
the issue at hand