《爱的心理学》PPT (无背景版供打印) 2016

北京大学心理学系　李同帰　 Psychology
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Welcome to
Psychology of Love
Instructor: 李同归
Office Time: Monday 10:00-15:00
Address: 北京大学王克桢楼
1602
微博 :
weibo.com/litonggui
E-mail:
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litg@pku.edu.cn
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Instructor: 李同归
微信公众号： PKU-litonggui
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During the course
• Explore the reasons of love rather than
practice for romantic love
• Interaction activities
• Lectures & Discussions
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During the course, YOU SHOULD
• Complete some psychological scales in each
class (Attending record)
• Reading
• Self-Analysis
• Others analysis
• Writing papers
• Participating my experiments
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The way to earn your credit
• Attending course (30%)
• Two term-papers (30%-40%)
• Final examination （ 30% or so ）
• Participating my experiments （ Extra credit ）
• 特别提醒：如果上述三项有一项得分为 0 ，
则总成绩为 0 ！
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考勤记录方法
• 采用多种方法记录考勤
课堂提问
随机点名
课堂问卷调查
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课程主要内容
• 从心理学的角度对人类的爱进行系统分析。
主要是根据依恋理论，对爱的起源，爱的
个体差异、以及爱的表现形式进行全面的
介绍。
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授课方式
• 以课堂讲授和阅读课外资料相结合的方式
进行。在课堂上主要是以投影的方式，进
行讲解，并且北大教学网，提供下载阅读
的资料。同时，在课堂上，我们也会提供
一些相应的问卷作为辅助工具，帮助学生
了解自我，以及建立良好的人际关系。
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《爱的心理学》主要参考文献
R. 斯腾伯格等著，
李朝旭译，爱情心
理学（最新版），
世界图书出版公司
， 2010
莎伦 . 布雷姆等
著，郭辉译，爱
情心理学，人民
邮电出版
社， 2010
米勒 . 珀尔曼著，
王伟平译，亲密关
系，人民邮电出版
社， 2011
Why study psychology of love?
恋爱是大学生活的必修课？
矿大校长为在校大学生新人证婚 (2011)
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恋爱是大学生活的必修课？
浙大对大学生的寄语（ 2013 ）
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马加爵事件
弗吉尼亚大
学枪击事件
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Lecture 1 What’s Psychology?
• 心理学是干什么的？
• 心理学是研究心理现象的科学
• 什么是科学
• 利用系统的方法研究问题，发现事实真相，探究
事实背后的规律和原理的学问。
• 1 问题：待解决的问题
• 2 方法：用系统的方法
• 3 目的：发现事实真相 , 探求事实背后的规律和
原理
• 科学的基本特征
客观性 (objectivity) ：立场中立，实事求是

可验证性 (verifiability) ：研究结果和理论的可
验证性
系统性 (systematization) ：研究必须遵循一定
的方法和程序
中华民族复兴完成 62% ？
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• 学习心理学的目的
描述 (description) ：表述问题的表面事实 ,

一般不涉及问题背后的原因。
解释 (explanation) ：分析问题发生的前因
后果 , 找出规律。
预测 (prediction) ：根据现有资料和已知的
事物规律，推测将来发生问题的可能性。
控制 (control) ：设法控制问题发生的原因 ,
使事物朝需要的方向发展。
• 心理学是不是科学？
 心理属于人主观世界（精神世界）的范畴。自古以来
，人们对自身的主观世界就充满疑惑和兴趣，人们一
直在探讨精神世界的特点和规律。
 “ 心理学”按字意是“关于心的学问”，但这个
“心”不是心脏，而是人的主观世界。英文“ PSYCHO
－ LOGY” 来自于希腊文中的“ psyche” 与“ logos”,
“psyche” 指“灵魂”（ soul ），“ logos” 指 “讲
述”（ discourse ），因此，从词源来说，心理学就是
阐释灵魂（心灵）的学问。
 心理学萌芽于哲学的土壤中，早期只是人们对自身主
观世界的一些思考，但现代科学心理学，除了研究人
的各种心理现象外，还研究行为。
 因此，心理学是研究心理现象及行为规律的学科。
• 心理学是科学
 心理学与研究物的自然科学一样 , 从
研究方法、程序、工具、资料分析、
研究结果处理和解释等方面 , 都具备
了客观性。
 遵循一定方法和程序 .
 得到的是可验证性结果或理论。
心理学有不同于其它自然科学的特点：
 1 、人性的内隐性使心理学的研究十分困难。
 2 、人性之间的个体差异较大 , 难以推论。
 3 、人性变化迅速 , 而规律难寻 , 使心理测量
非常困难。
 4 、研究者自身心理特点在研究过程中的卷
入 , 使心理学研究的客观性较难把握。
• 心理学的研究对象
心理学是研究心理现象与行为规律
的科学。心理学的研究对象主要是以下
几方面：
• （一）、个体心理
 1 、认知
 2 、情绪和动机
 3 、能力和人格
• （二）、行为
• （三）、群体和社会心理
Lecture 2:
Theories of Love: Layperson’s view
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Activities
Group Exercise:
1. Individuals silently identify your own ideas of
love
2. Share among group to identify top 10 ideas
of love
3. Select a spoke person to present to the class
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Activities: Brain Storming
Open Space Discussion - Inspirational meeting technology
Four Principles:
•Whoever comes in the right people
•Whenever it starts is the right time
•Whatever happens is the only thing that could have’
•When is over, it’s over
Bees Butterfly
Two Roles:
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Instructions for Discussions
 Identify ideas of love
 Divided into groups according to the
numbers of topics to be discussed
 Select a scribe (recorder) for each group
 The rest of the class can act as a bee or a

butterfly to contribute your idea
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Idea consolidations
 Group of fifteen or sixteen
 Pick a topic with some suggested possible
answer
 Work in team to develop specific actions to
deal with the time wasters

 Select a person to present to the class
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Lecture 3
Theories of LOVE: Evolutional

Psychological perspectives
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当你择偶时，你会选择……
• 高富帅
 白美富
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Buss’s Evolution of love
• 物竞天择，优胜劣汰
• 自然选择的三个必要组成部分：
– 变异：为进化提供“原材料”
– 遗传：只有那些得以遗传的变异才会在进化中起作用
– 选择：对生存和繁殖有帮助
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Learn from Darwin…..
• 物竞天择，优胜劣汰
• 自然选择的三个必要组成部分：
– 变异：为进化提供“原材料”
– 遗传：只有那些得以遗传的变异才会在进化中起作用
– 选择：对生存和繁殖有帮助
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• 除自然选择以外，还有另外
一种不可或缺的进化方式
——性选择
同性竞争
争夺与异性交配的机会
异性选择
拥有更多异性所偏爱的特性的
个体更可能繁殖成功
当选择配偶的时候，实际上会
有一定的偏好
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• 自然选择和性选择有共同的基础过程
差异繁殖成功率
（ Differential reproductive success ）
个体拥有不同的遗传特征，使得他们生存和繁
殖的机会都不同
两种不同适应器的重要性
因对生存有利而进化（对蛇的害怕而免受伤害）
因对繁殖有利而进化（拥有更强的战斗能力）
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David Buss ： Evolution of love
 大量关于择偶偏好的实证研究
 探索人类选择配偶时的偏好以及这种偏好背后的
进化机制
 跨文化择偶偏好项目（ 1990 ）
– 33 个国家的 9474 人的择偶偏好（包括中国）
– 结果：无论男女都认为理想对象的核心特质
相互吸引和爱
可靠的性格
成熟稳重
讨人喜欢的性格
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 跨文化择偶偏好项目（ 1990 ）
– 33 个国家的 9474 人的择偶偏好（包括中
国）
– 结果：男人和女人在择偶条件上的差异
女性更青睐
经济前景好
赚钱能力强
有抱负和勤奋的异性
男性更青睐
年轻
貌美
身材具有吸引力的女性
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• 进一步的研究发现：女性更愿意找
 年龄较大
 经济前景好
 社会地位高
 运动能力强
 脸孔对称
 愿意为子女投资的男人做老公
• 男人的梦中情人
青春无敌
天使面孔
魔鬼身材
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谁对女性更有吸引力？对称是美！
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会选择谁作为约会对象？
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Gangestad & Thornhill: T 恤味道的
实验
• 女性嗅觉比男性更敏感
• 对称性更好的男性的 T 恤气味被认为更好闻
• 只有在排卵期的女性才能区分！
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Trivers ：“亲代投资理论”
• 雌性动物往往在生命体的幼年时期付出更多的亲代投资
，拥有宝贵的繁殖资源，因此那些在择偶时更为挑剔的
雌性的后代更可能存活下来
 为后代投资更多的一方会在择偶时更挑剔
 投资更少的一方，在争夺异性过程中会更具有竞争性
• 每个女人选择伴侣就是一辈子最大的一次投资
 当然希望能找到拥有各种对自己及后代都有益的男性作为配偶
 而对资源的偏好，可谓是动物界雌性最亘古不变的法则
• 男性的任务则截然不同
 最大任务就是要开枝散叶，把自己的基因传下去
 选择具有更强的生殖能力的女性就成为择偶的重要标准
 男性进化成为天生的鉴赏家，对女人这种艺术品似乎生来就有
特殊的审美能力。
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• 男性的“审美”
年轻就是美
女性的最佳生育年龄是 20-29 岁，而女性的生育
能力是一个 n 字型曲线
成年男性喜欢年轻的女性，而年龄越大的男性对
理想配偶的女性年龄就会拉大
成年男性对年轻女性的偏好反映出他们在选择时
对繁殖能力强的偏好
平均对称就是美
对称的脸孔看上去更美、更有吸引力
脸孔对称实际上是健康的标志
“ 平均脸”的实验
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世界各国的平均脸
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• 男性的“审美”
 年轻就是美
 平均对称就是美
 肥臀小蛮腰
 除了天使脸孔，魔鬼身材也是完美情人的必备条件
 大部分的文化中男性一致偏好腰臀比（ WHR ，腰围与臀围的
比例，一般人在 0.5-0.95 的范围之间，数字越小证明腰围比臀
围更小，数字越大说明腰臀围相似）
 不同文化的男性对腰臀比具有一致性的偏好，认为腰臀比偏
低的女性更具有吸引力
 纤细的腰部一方面预示着女性并没有怀孕，增加男性受精的
可能
 有生理证据显示腰围是测量女性生育状况的精确指标
 腰臀比率还是长期健康状况的指标
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• 爱情是最伟大的进化产物
• 33 个国家的参加者都不约而同地把“爱”
放在了第一位
• 只有最真挚的爱情，让双方选择了彼此
• 爱情象征着承诺，代表着结成了非血缘关
系之外个体之间最最紧密的联系
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Love evolved to serve several functions
 Displaying reproductively relevant resources
 Providing sexual access
 Signaling sexual fidelity
 Promoting relationship exclusivity through mate-guarding
 Displaying commitment
 Promoting actions that lead to successful reproductive
outcomes
 Providing signals of parental investment
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推荐阅读：
David Buss
著 . 《进化心
理学：心理的
新科学》，华
东师范大学出
版社
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David Buss 的主页
• http://homepage.psy.utexas.edu/homepage/
Group/BussLAB/
• http://homepage.psy.utexas.edu/homepage/
Group/BussLAB/publications.htm
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Lecture 4
Psychological perspectives on
LOVE: Color theory of LOVE
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Love evolved to serve several functions
 Displaying reproductively relevant resources
 Providing sexual access
 Signaling sexual fidelity
 Promoting relationship exclusivity through mate-guarding
 Displaying commitment
 Promoting actions that lead to successful reproductive
outcomes
 Providing signals of parental investment
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Rubin (1970)’s theory
• First researcher to make love measurable by
means of an objective psychological scale.
• Romantic relationships are characterized by
both “Love” and “Liking”.
• Platonic friendships are characterized by
“liking” only.
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• Invented the “Love scale” and the “liking

scale” for the measurement of the amounts
of people’s Love and Liking for partners.
• According to his definition, Love consists of
– affiliative and dependent need ( 接纳，依赖 )
– predisposition to help （提供帮助）
– Exclusiveness and absorption （排他、吸收）
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• According to his definition, Love consists of

– “affiliative and dependent need”
– “predisposition to help”
– “Exclusiveness and absorption”
• Liking also has three components
– Favorable evaluation
– Respect
– Perception of similarity
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• Each scale comprises 13 items and is internally

consistent.
• In his initial research, the Love scale and Liking
scale were only moderately correlated (r=0.60 for
male, 0.39 for female)
• His concept of dichotomy between romantic
relationships and platonic friendships has strongly
influenced the development of the taxonomy of
love by other theorists.
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爱情量表研究的结果
• 对 158 对恋爱关系男女大学生研究发现：爱情分
数相同，但喜欢程度不同，女性对男性的喜欢超
过男性对女性的喜欢；喜欢程度往往随着交往又
方互动机会的增加而增加，但爱情（特别是
Romantic love ）则随着时间的旷日持久逐渐淡漠
• 这种差别也许是由于女性对于自己恋人的智力和
领导能力评价比较高。男性和女性对同性朋友的
喜欢程度相等，但女性比男性更爱自己的同性朋
友。女性之间比男性之间的交往更深。
• 恋人之间爱情分数越高，结婚的可能性就越大，
但喜欢分数与结婚可能性之间则没有这么显著。
爱情量表举例
• 如果我永远不能同 ____ 在一起，我会感很
痛苦。
• 我会原谅 ___ 所做的任何事情。
• 我觉得在任何事情上都可以信任 ____ 。
对每个陈述用 9 点量表打分， 9 分表示
对于此项陈陈述高度肯定。
喜欢量表举例
• 我认为 _____ 性情非常好。
• 大多数人一旦与 ____ 相识，对他的反应都
很好。
• 我本人也愿意成为象 _____ 那样的人。
对每个陈述用 9 点量表打分， 9 分表示对
于此项陈陈述高度肯定。
Hatfield’s “Passionate Love” and
“Companionate Love”
• Hatfield & Walster (1978) proposed another

dichotomous taxonomy of love: love with
sexuality vs. love without sexuality.
• “Passionate love” （激情） : containing
intense emotion, tenderness, and sexuality
• “Companionate Love” （同情） : comprising
friendly affection and deep attachment.
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三、激情式爱情与同伴式爱情
激情式爱情 (passionate love)
“ 一种狂野的情感状态；温柔的、带有性欲
的体验；狂喜和痛苦、焦虑和解脱、利他和
嫉妒共同存在形成复杂的情绪体验。”
情绪在激情式爱情中起着关键作用，人们为激
情所控，不可抗拒地被吸引到爱人身边。
推动激情式爱情的生理唤醒受许多因素影响。
 性欲望、害怕被拒绝、要了解某人兴奋
 父母或者情敌的压力带来的失败感
 与爱人争吵带来的愤怒都可能造成生理唤醒。
 不管这种爱的原因是什么，它都有一种不可控制的
性质。
三、激情式爱情与同伴式爱情
激情式爱情 (passionate love)
激情式爱情另一个特点是对方占据自己的思想
爱情使人们脑海中充满对方的形象，他们把对
方理想化，认为对方在所有方面都是完美无缺
它通常被认为来得快，去得也快
这种爱情的体验虽然强烈，但却很脆弱和短暂
激情式爱情与同伴式爱情
同伴式爱情（ companionate love ）
 “ 感到自己的生命和爱人生命密不可分地
交错在一起时的爱情。”
是一种更实际的爱情
强调的是信任，关心、对伴侣的缺点和习惯
的容忍
相对激情式爱情更加温和、温暖和柔情多于
激情。这种爱情发展得比较缓慢
这种爱情为长久关系提供了坚实的基础。
Hatfield’s “Passionate Love” and
“Companionate Love”
• Hatfield & Sprecher (1986) invented the
Passionate Love Scale (PLS).
• PLS consists of 30 items which ask about
cognitive, emotional, and behavioral aspects
of Passionate Love.
• Companionate Love were usually measured
by Rubin’s Love scale or Sternberg’s
Intimacy subscale.
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Lee’s Eros （浪漫） and Storge
（友谊） Love attitudes
• Lee (1973) did not proposed a dichotomy
of love but suggested a taxonomy named
the Color Theory of Love.
• He believed that social scientists could
categorized love into the following 6 love
styles:
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Lee’s Eros and Storge Love attitudes
• Lee’s six love styles:
– Eros: love based on physical attraction to the partner
– Ludus: playful and game-like love
– Storge: a style based on slowly developing affection
and companionship
– Mania: Love characterized by obsession and jealousy
– Agape: altruistic love
– Pragma: a practical style involving conscious
consideration of the demographic and the objective
characteristics of the loved one
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Ludus
Ludus Mania Pragma
Eros Storge
Eros Storge
Agape
The primaries
The secondaries
Lee’s Love style
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Lee’s Love styles
Eros ：浪漫激烈式爱情
Ludus ：游戏式爱情
Storge ：友谊式爱情 Mania ：占有依恋式爱情
Pragma ：理智型爱情
Agape ：奉献式爱情
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Eros ：浪漫激烈式爱
情
1. 在第一次见面时，就立刻被彼此吸引
2. 时常有占有对方的欲望
3. 恋爱中十分具有激情，而且常感满足
4. 觉得彼此真是天生一对
5. 觉得对方的外貌特征符合自己的理想标准
………………
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Ludus ：游戏式爱情
1. 不能给对方一种确定而且清晰的承诺
2. 相信不想让对方知道的自我部分会伤害到他她
3. 有多个异性朋友，避免让他 / 她们互相查明对方
4. 可以相当容易且快速的遗忘自己的风流韵事
5. 知道如果事情败露，对方将会觉得难过苦恼
6. 如果对方过于依赖，会想做出一些的退缩
……………… 北京大学心理学系　李同帰　 Psychology
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Storge ：友谊式爱情
1. 很难确切说明彼此是何时从友情进展到爱情的
2. 确信真诚的爱情必须具备一段时间的关心和喜欢
3. 即使分手了，仍能保持良好的友谊关系
4. 认为最佳的爱情产生于长久的友谊
5. 很难确切说明彼此是何时堕入爱河的
6. 认为愛情是一種深厚的友誼關係，而非神秘情緒
………………
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Mania ：占有依恋式爱情
1. 当和对方的关系发生问题时，会感到十分不适
2. 失恋时会变得十分沮丧，甚至有自杀的念头
3. 因为想到自己正处于爱情之中，而难以入眠
4. 当对方不再注意自己时，会感到浑身不适
5. 恋爱时，很难集中注意力在其他事物上
6. 当怀疑对方正和某人在一起时，会无法放松自己
7. 当对方有一段时间不理睬自己时，会做出一些蠢
事去引起他 / 她的注意。
……………… 北京大学心理学系　李同帰　 Psychology
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Pragma ：理智型爱情
1. 确立恋爱关系前会仔细思考对方是怎样的一个人
2. 在选择恋爱对象前，会先仔细规划自己的生活
3. 爱上一个和自己生活背景相似的人是件最好的事
选择恋爱对象的时候会考虑对方如何看待家人
4. 还要考虑对方是否可以成为一个好的父母
5. 同时考虑对方如何看待自己的职业
6. 在和任何人相爱之前，会先描绘出假使将来有孩
子时，对方和我的基因兼容性如何
………………
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Agape ：奉献式爱情
1. 尽我所能去帮助对方度过艰难时刻
2. 与其让对方承受苦痛，不如自己来承受
3. 对方得到快乐，我才快乐
4. 愿意牺牲自己的愿望来让对方达成他 / 她的目标
5. 我的任何东西，都可以由对方自由支配
6. 即使对方发怒，也会全心全意无条件地爱他 / 她
7. 为了对方的利益，可以忍受任何事情
………………
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Empirical evidences:
Love Story Card Sort
170 Phrases Multiple possible

answers
The night after I could hardly get to sleep
I met X ….. I dreamed about X
I wrote a letter to X
…….
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Color Theory of Love
浪漫型强烈的身体吸引力，强烈的情绪，对外
貌的偏好，以关系的必然感来界定激情
（ Ero 型的核心
s）
游戏型爱情是和不同的伴侣一起玩的游戏。伴
侣的欺骗以及没有关于自我和其他伴侣
（ Ludu 信息的表露是游戏型的主要特性。由于
s）游戏型缺乏诚实，大学生对测量这种爱
情风格项目的反应不一致。 Lee 指出此
类型反映出很多人想要的现实。事实上
，许多大学生在他们择偶过程中的某些
阶段是以游戏的方式来进行的。
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友谊型把爱情看成是友谊，不仅安静，而且友
爱。激情型的火焰与友谊型截然不同，
(Storge) 友谊型有时也被戏称为“进化爱情”，
而不是“革命爱情”
现实型爱情是一张带有期望特许的购物单（如
适合家庭、好父母等）。被比喻成“计
(Pragma) 算机约会安排”
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占有型可称为“症状”的爱情。是激烈的，在
狂喜和痛苦之间交替。占有之爱，当人
(Mania) 们感觉强烈时，通常结局并不好
奉献型具有牺牲精神，将爱人的幸福置于自己
之上，在浪漫之爱中，纯粹的奉献型只
(Agape) 是偶尔出现。在既定的关系中，奉献型
通常会随着长期关系中对公平的需要而
减少，随着像伴侣生病这样的生活事件
而增加
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Relationships between Color theory of love and
Passionate love
Passionate love clearly maps onto eros, and to some extent, mania
Companionate love matches storge most closely,

and may include elements of pragma and agape.
Ludus is both anti-passion and anti-friendship.
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Lecture 5 ： Sternberg’s Triangular
theory of LOVE
• Sternberg’s triangular theory (1986)
presupposes three components of love
• It defines eight types of love by the
combination of the three components:
“intimacy”, “passion”, and “decision/
commitment”
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Sternberg’s triangular theory
• Passion component is equivalent to Hatfield’s
passionate love.
• Intimacy is theoretically defined as the same
construct as Rubin’s Liking
• Sternberg Triangular Love Scale (STLS) consists
of 72 items (24 for each component)
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Sternberg’s Triangular theory
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• Passion component:
 Drives that lead to romance, physical
attraction, sexual consummation
 Those sources of motivational and other
forms of arousal that lead to the experience of
passion in a loving relationship
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• Intimacy component:
 Feelings of closeness, connectedness, and
bondedness in loving relationships.
 Those feelings that give rise to the experience
of warmth in a loving relationships
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• Intimacy component: 10 clusters
 Desire to promote the welfare of the loved one;
 Experienced happiness with the loved one;
 High regard for the loved one;
 Being able to count on the loved one in times of need;
 Mutual understanding with the loved one;
 Sharing of one’s self and one’s possessions with the loved one;
 Receipt of emotional support from the loved one;
 Giving of emotional support to the loved one;
 Intimate communication with the loved one;
 Valuing of the loved one
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• Decision/Commitment component:
Decision that one loves a certain other
One’s commitment to maintain that love
• One can decide to love someone without being
committed to the love in the long term;
• Or one can be committed to a relationship without
acknowledging that one loves the other person in
the relationship
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Consumate Love: Equal strength of three
components
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Liking: Strong intimacy, weak commitment
and passion
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Infatuation Love: Strong passion, weak
commitment and intimacy
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Empty Love: Strong commitment, weak
passion and intimacy
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Romantic Love: Strong passion and intimacy,
weak commitment
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Companionate Love: Strong commitment and
intimacy, weak passion
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Fatuous Love: Strong commitment and passion,
weak intimacy
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Nonlove: weak on three components
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Sternberg’s subtheory:
Love as stories
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Sternberg’s subtheory:Love as stories
• 爱情三角形来源于故事。所有人都会接触
到大量的各种各样的故事
• 故事可以通过观察恋爱中的人或看电视、
电影或者小说中获得
• 个体会形成自己的故事
• 个人品质和环境的互动导致了爱情故事的
发展，尽可能在生活中演绎这种故事
• 故事在概念化人们的爱情观念时特别有用
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Sternberg’s subtheory: Love as stories
Addiction Strong, anxious attachment; clinging
behavior; anxiety at thought of losing partner
Art Love of partner for physical attractiveness;

importance to person of partner’s always
looking good.
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Business Relationships as business propositions;
money is power; partners in close
relationships as business partners
Collection Partner viewed as “fitting in” some overall
scheme; partner viewed in a detached way
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Cookbook Doing things a certain way (recipe) results
in relationship being more likely to work
out; departure from recipe for success leads
to increased likelihood of failure
Fantasy Often expects to be saved by a knight in
shining armor or to marry a princess and
live happily ever after
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Game Love as a game or sport
Gardening Relationships need to be continually

nurtured and tended to
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Government (a)Autocratic. One partner dominates or
controls the other; (b) Democratic. Two
partners share power equally
History Events of relationship form an indelible
record; keep a lot of records, either mental
or material
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Horror Relationships become interesting when you
terrorize or are terrorized by your partner
House and Relationships have their core in the home,

Home through its development and maintenance
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Humor Love is a strange and funny
Mystery Love is a mystery, and you shouldn’t let too

much of yourself be known
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Police You’ve got to keep close tabs on your
partner to make sure he or she toes the
line, or you need to be under surveillance
to make sure you behave
Pornography Love is dirty, and to love is to degrade or
be degraded
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Recovery Survivor mentality; view that after past
trauma, a person can get through practically
anything
Religion Views love either as a religion or as a set of
feelings and activities dictated by religion
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Sacrifice To love is to give of oneself or for someone to
give of himself or herself to you
Science Love can be understood, analyzed, and

dissected, just like any other natural
phenomenon
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Science Feeling that partner is like an alien—
fiction incomprehensible and very strange
Sewing Love is whatever you make it
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Theater Love is scripted, with predictable acts, scenes,
and lines
Travel Love is a journey
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War Love is a series of battles in a
devastating but continuing war
Student-Teacher Love is a relationship between a student

and a teacher
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• 26 种故事类型呈现出广泛的爱情概念
• 每个故事都有想法和行为的一种特征性模
式
• 爱情的故事观点与其他观点存在重叠
• 一个特殊的爱情故事引导着我们对一种爱
情关系的描述
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• 爱情故事中有两个互补的角色，他们可能
对称，也可能不对称。我们寻找那些共享
自己故事的人，或至少与自己的故事大致
相符的人，而不是总去寻找正如自己的人。
因此，人们所寻找的那些人，从一个侧面
看与自己是相似的，从另一个侧面看又与
自己有差异。因此，关于爱情的相似说和
互补说可能都不完全正确。
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• 故事包括某些适应性的优势和劣势。一个故事可能
或多或少地适合一个指定的文化社会环境的要求。
• 某些故事似乎比其他故事更具备成功的可能性
• 故事既是因也是果：它们与我们的生活是互动的。
关系中的故事可能导致我们以特定的方式做出行为
，甚至其他故事也会引发特定的行为。同时我们自
身的发展和与他人的互动可能会塑造和修饰我们的
故事，并带入关系中。
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• 按照原型（ Prototype ）概念的含义，故事可能
更容易理解
• 原型概念适用于多种爱情观念，并产生了人们
构想爱情的各种模型
• 爱情的概念没有定义行特征（ defining featur
e ） , 但具有代表性的特征（ characteristic
features ）
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Hatfiled & Rapson (1996): Unified theory of
love schemas( 爱的图式 )
• Love schemas are based on two factors:
– The extent to which people are comfortable being

emotionally close
– Their willingness to invest emotionally in a

romantic relationship.
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Hatfiled & Rapson (1996): Unified theory of love
schemas
• Secure type:
– equally comfortable being close to their partners
and being independent
• Clingy type ： ( 粘附型、缠人型）
– Comfortable being close to their partners
– Uncomfortable with independence
 To be excessively dependent on their partners.
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schemas
• Skittish type ：轻佻型
– Uncomfortable with closeness
– Comfortable being independent
To be overly self reliant
• Fickle type ：情感不专
– Uncomfortable with both closeness and independence
and seem to be torn between them.
Needing self validation from others but afraid others will
let them down
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schemas
• Casual love schema 偶然，不经意
– Not have learned to balance intimacy and
independence.
To be only interested in relationships that are
“problem free” or casual.
• Uninterested type
Be not at all concerned about being in close
relationships.
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Sternberg’s subtheory:
Love as stories
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Taxonomy of some love stories
Addiction Strong, anxious attachment; clinging behavior; anxiety at thought of
losing partner
Art Love of partner for physical attractiveness; importance to person of
partner’s always looking good.
Business Relationships as business propositions; money is power; partners in
close relationships as business partners
Collection Partner viewed as “fitting in” some overall scheme; partner viewed in
a detached way
Cookbook Doing things a certain way (recipe) results in relationship being more
likely to work out; departure from recipe for success leads to
increased likelihood of failure
Fantasy Often expects to be saved by a knight in shining armor or to marry a
princess and live happily ever after
Game Love as a game or sport
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Gardening Relationships need to be continually nurtured and tended to
Government (a) Autocratic. One partner dominates or controls the other; (b)
Democratic. Two partners share power equally
History Events of relationship form an indelible record; keep a lot of records,
either mental or material
Horror Relationships become interesting when you terrorize or are terrorized
by your partner
House and Relationships have their core in the home, through its development and
Home maintenance
Humor Love is a strange and funny

Mystery Love is a mystery, and you shouldn’t let too much of yourself be known
Police You’ve got to keep close tabs on your partner to make sure he or she toes the
line, or you need to be under surveillance to make sure you behave
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Pornography Love is dirty, and to love is to degrade or be degraded
Recovery Survivor mentality; view that after past trauma, a person can get through
practically anything
Religion Views love either as a religion or as a set of feelings and activities dictated by
religion
Sacrifice To love is to give of oneself or for someone to give of himself or herself to
you
Science Love can be understood, analyzed, and dissected, just like any other natural
phenomenon
Science fiction Feeling that partner is like an alien—incomprehensible and very strange
Sewing Love is whatever you make it
Theater Love is scripted, with predictable acts, scenes, and lines
Travel Love is a journey
War Love is a series of battles in a devastating but continuing war
Student-Teacher Love is a relationship between a student and a teacher
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• 按照原型（ Prototype ）概念的含义，故事可能
更容易理解
• 原型概念适用于多种爱情观念，并产生了人们
构想爱情的各种模型
• 爱情的概念没有定义行特征（ defining featur
e ） , 但具有代表性的特征（ characteristic
features ）
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Terminological conventions to denote different
types of knowledge structure
1. Category
Classes of objects with similar meaning

and function
e.g., Concrete categories like hammer

and computer, or abstract categories such
as dignity and crime
2. Stereotype
Categories linking attributes to
social groups
e.g., Attributes of professional

(policemen) or ethnic groups
(Chinese)
3. Schema
Knowledge structures linked to
adaptive function
e.g., Causal schema for making

quick causal inferences
4. Script
Temporally structured behavioral
routine
e.g., The sequence of behaviors that

constitute a visit to the theatre
5. Cognitive map
Spatial organization of
concrete objects in visual modality
e.g., Visual imagery of and

automatic locomotion in one’s
university campus
6. Associative network
Highly interconnected structure
involving many different concepts
e.g., The self, including all its

autobiographic, affective, and semantic
aspects
Representation of concepts:
Associative network
Protests unfair treatment Wants nice house
Won’t pay rent until house painted
Aggressive
Lawyer
Well dressed Competitive intelligent

Lecture 6: Learning to Love: From your
mother’s arms to your lover’s arms
When love really works it seems

effortless. Both partners give and both
receive. They support and receive
support
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Learning to Love: From your mother’s arms to
your lover’s arms
Anybody who has been in love knows

love is easy, loving is not. Being a good
partner is difficult and for most does
not come naturally.
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your lover’s arms
Early ideas about relationships:
Freud discoverer of the unconscious mind and

inventor of psychoanalysis, suggested that the
roots of love are not in the trial and error or even
in successes and failures of adolescence.
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your lover’s arms
The roots of love are in infancy.

The roots of love are in our early experiences.
The roots of love are in our mothers arms.
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This is an astonishing and improbable idea:
In Freud’s time early experience was
thought to be irrelevant. Psychologist and
physicians assumed that the social and
emotional life of infants and children empty
and or immediately forgotten.
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This is an astonishing and improbable idea:
How could experiences so early in
life have such long lasting affects?
Could early experience really affect
adulthood?
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your lover’s arms
Modern understanding applied to Freud’s

ideas:
Even today, the idea of infant experience
affecting adulthood seems astonishing
Infants and children are much more
sophisticated than we once believed
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– Psychologist thought children were just merely smaller or
half-finished versions of adult.
• Some very clever experiments have shown that
infants are not less than adults, they are different.
– Infants and young children perceive the world very
differently than we do.
– They move, look, reach, grasp, speak, think, and even
experience emotion according to infant rules, not adult
rules.
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– The change from infancy to toddlerhood is not a
matter of getting bigger or better.
– It is a matter of doing things differently.
– The same can be said about the transitions from
childhood to adolescence and adolescence to
adulthood.
– We are like caterpillars that literally turn into
something different at every stage of
development.
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your lover’s arms
– How could Freud be right?
– How could things that affect us in one stage of life
effect us later when we have become something
very different?
– The best evidence shows that in some ways Freud
was right.
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Lecture 7: Psychological
perspective on the roots of Love
Attachment Theory
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The original attachment theory
Bowlby 　 Ainsworth
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Questions:
• When separate from the primary caregiver,

a child will……
 Protest Despair Dettachment
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Questions:
• What made the relationship with the mother
figure so special?
• Why did separation from or loss of the
primary caregiver cause so much distress,
anger, and anxiety among children?
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Psychoanalytic and learning
theorists’ explanation
• The child’s bond to the mother was based on
the fact that she provided food.
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Attachment Theory: John Bowlby
• came from psychoanalytic

tradition— emphasized
early infant-caregiver
relationships as source of
adult personality.
• BUT he felt that actual
events, not fantasy, were
crucial.
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Bowlby & Ainsworth’s attachment theory (cons.)
Freud’s secondary-drive theory
Infant’s relationship with the mother emerges

because she feeds the infant, and that the pleasure
experienced upon having hunger drives satisfied comes
to be associated with the mother’s presence in positive
ways.
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Bowlby & Ainsworth’s attachment theory (cons.)
• Questions on Freud’s theory:
• Harlow (1958): infant rhesus monkeys
preferred not the wire-mesh “mother” that
provided food, but the cloth-covered
“mother” that afforded contact comfort in
times of stress.
• Lorenz (1935): infant geese became
attached to parents that did not feed them.
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Harlow & Harlow’s classic
experiments
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Lorenz’s imprinting
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Bowlby’s hypotheses
• Lorenz’s imprinting
– Species-specific learning that occurs within a limited
period of time (a “critical period”) early in the life of each
individual animal and resists modification thereafter.
• Bowlby: humans might be biologically predisposed to

form long-lasting bonds to specific individuals. The
social bond might depend on instinctive social
behavior, not on learning to associate food with the
mother figure.
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Bowlby’s hypotheses: Ethology
evidences
• Ethologist: Observe the species under study in its
natural environment.
• Bowlby: Moved beyond retrospective reports from
patients in psychoanalysis and beyond the contrived
stimulus-response connections behaviorists studies.
• They began to understand the nature and role of
instinctive behavior in humans, not only in other
species.
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• “Instinctive”: unlearned, automatic, and
unmodifiable  “fixed action patterns”
• However, much instinctive behavior must be
learned.  A bird species provides an
example: All male chaffinches in their natural
environments learn to sing the songs that
characterize their species, however, they are
not born knowing the melodies.
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• Humans have adapted successfully to a wide
range of physical and social environments, so
it is likely that attachment and caregiving
behavior systems include great (but not
infinite) flexibility. The way an individual
organizes and expresses his or her attachment
behavior certainly reflects some learning.
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• Bowlby also share many important views with
psychoanalytic theories:
– Early adaptations have profound and long-lasting
effects on the individual’s personality, social
relationships, thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
– Much of human motivation is unconscious.
– Development reflects a coherent underlying
organization, even when surface manifestations in
behavior change with age, state, and situation.
• The focus is on whole people interacting in
intimate and committed relationships, not on
single variables.
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• Cognitive psychology enriched attachment
theory as it evolved.
– Representational models or working models
– When a representational model bears a close
resemblance to reality, it makes insight and
foresight possible.
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• Bowlby also discovered the utility of control
systems theory for describing human
attachment behavior.
– Stress the importance of understanding the
interrelationships among elements in a system.
– Infant’s attachment behaviors can be understood
only in the context of the adult’s caregiving
behaviors and in relation to the infant’s
exploratory behaviors, and vice versa.
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Major propositions of attachment
theory
• Definitions
– Attachment is an enduring affective bond
characterized by a tendency to seek and maintain
proximity to a specific figure, particularly when
under stress.
• Attachment behaviors: crying, reaching,
approaching, clinging
• Attachment is emotional bond, not behavior.
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theory
• Biological functions of attachment behavior
– Attachment behavior becomes focused on and
organized in relation to a specific figure, i.e.,
human beings are instinctively inclined
(biologically predisposed) to form attachments.
– Attachment behavior is species-characteristic
behavior.
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theory
• Biological functions of attachment behavior
– The biological function of a behavior is not just a
predictable or desirable outcome of the behavior;
it is the outcome that contributes to the survival
of the individual and, thus, of the species.
– The biological function of attachment behavior is
protection.
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theory
• Goal-corrected behavioral systems
– A system is a set of discrete behaviors that function in
some centrally organized way to help the individual
achieve some goals.
• Goal-corrected is to say that it acts flexibly to attain
some goals.
– e.g., thermostats & heat-seeking
– Baby’s following her father from room to room or a
lovestruck adolescent’s pursuit of the woman he imagines
to be the embodiment and fulfillment of his dreams.
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theory
• Environment of Evolutionary Adaptedness
– The man’s primeval environment is, almost
certainly, also his environment of evolutionary
adaptedness.
– The only relevant criterion by which to consider
the natural adaptedness of any particular part
of present-day man’s behavioral equipment is
the degree to which and the way in which it
might contribute to population survival in man’s
primeval environment.
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Two views of infancy, early relationships, and early
experience
Freud Bowlby
・ Clingy, needy, dependent infant ・ Active, curious, competent infant
・ Motivation: rise and fall of ・ Monitor environment/Optimize
internal drives experience
・ Drive reduction ・ Adaptation & Development
・ Relationships: means of drive ・ Relationships as valuable in
reduction themselves
・ Experience shape ・ Early experience shapes
intra-psychic structures mental representations
Modes of drive expressive Knowledge of environment
Coping/defense mechanisms General relationship expectations
Availability of mental energy Expectations about specific figures
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theory
• Goal-corrected behavioral systems
– A system is a set of discrete behaviors that function in
some centrally organized way to help the individual
achieve some goals.
• Goal-corrected is to say that it acts flexibly to attain
some goals.
– e.g., thermostats & heat-seeking
– Baby’s following her father from room to room or a
lovestruck adolescent’s pursuit of the woman he imagines
to be the embodiment and fulfillment of his dreams.
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theory
• Feeding behavior is organized into a
homeostatic system （内在平衡系统） that
is goal-corrected.
• Attachment behavior is also goal-corrected.
The goal is to attain or maintain a sufficient
degree of proximity or contact.
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theory
• Activators and terminators
• An activator is a stimulus or conditions that
turns the system on or turns the system up.
• A terminator is a stimulus or condition that
turns the system off or down.
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theory
• External conditions that activate attachment
behavior:
– Strangeness, frightening stimuli or events, cold, distance
or separation from the attachment figure, a lapse of time
since contact with the attachment figure, rebuffs from
children or adults, and the attachment figure’s departing,
being absent, or discouraging the infant from coming
close.
• Internal conditions that activate attachment
– Fatigue, illness, and pain.
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theory
• The intensity of activation of attachment behavior
varies with the intensity of the threat.
• Getting close to the attachment figure or getting
enough physical contact with him or her terminates
• How much proximity or contact is needed depends
on the intensity of activation of the behavioral
system, on the quality of the attachment, and on the
developmental level of the individual.
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theory: motivation
• Attachment behavior is a class of behavior with its
own dynamic. It is distinct from feeding behavior
and from sexual behavior; it is no derived from
either.
• Attachment is as basic and as important in human
life as food and sex are.
• There is no need to explain why attachment
behaviors appear or why human beings form the
strong, lasting emotional bonds we call attachment.
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theory: Other behavioral systems
• Attachment theorists have called attention to other
behavioral systems: exploration-play, affiliation, fear-
wariness, and caregiving.
• The various behavioral systems also interact within
one individual. Among them, the attachment system
is primary in young children, i.e., strong activation of
the attachment system commonly overrides the
activity of competing systems.
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theory: Secure base phenomenon
• In safe circumstances, the level of activation
of attachment behavior can remain low for
long periods while exploration and play
continue.
• Use of the attachment figure as a “secure
base” from which to explore has been well-
documented not only in humans but also in
other primates.
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• Being near the attachment figure is usually
enough to support exploration, play, and
sometimes, affiliative behavior.
• Attachment figure is a secure base from which
to explore.
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theory: Emotion and attachment
• The process of forming a new attachment
bond is the thrill and delight of falling in love.
• Maintain an attachment bond is loving
someone.
• Attachment is love.
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• The threat of losing an attachment figure arouses
anxiety and anger.
• The reality of losing a partner, whether through
death, long separation, or the ending of a
relationship, ordinarily triggers the intense feelings
associated with grief and mourning, usually include
anger as well as sorrow.
• The renewal of a bond is a source of joy.
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• Our attachments are a major source of what
makes our lives feel rich and wonderful or
lonely, sad, and utterly wretched.
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• An emotion may often be felt in association
with the activation of a behavioral system.
• The emotion is not the cause of the behavior
that ensues.
• Affective and cognitive appraising processes
often operate below the level of conscious
awareness.
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Share your story ……
2020年9月11日北京大学心理学系李同归 198

第一次与父母分离
• 第一次和父母分离是在幼儿园入托的时候。下午被送到班
里，看到活动的房间很大有好多玩具，小朋友们很快就玩
儿到一起了，有一个很漂亮说话声音很好听的阿姨带我们
作游戏，记得当时妈妈问我觉得幼儿园好不好，我就把被
子从妈妈手里抢过来对她说“挺好的你回去吧”，妈妈听
完很放心就走了。后来我疯玩儿了一个下午，到了晚上第
一次和陌生人住在一起感觉比较奇怪。我记得那天窗户上
有一只很大的蛾子，我非常害怕它，认为那就是传说中的
鬼，于是吓得大哭。好多孩子听到了以后也跟着一起哭，
哭着哭着就听见其中一个孩子疯狂的喊自己想家了，声音
凄惨得不得了。我听后当即就忽略了蛾子的存在，转而投
入到一种念家的情绪中继续大哭。整个过程都记得特别清
楚，因为当时觉得很莫名其妙，就像被突然启动了一样。

• 第一次上幼儿园时，我死活在门口哭，不进去。我妈
没办法，就陪着我，让老师也在门口陪着我，我能在
门口站半天。后来我每天上幼儿园都死活不进去，园
长都知道了，最后就说甭来了，休一年吧。我感觉幼
儿园不是什么好地方。
• 我一点也不恋家。妈妈经常和我说我小的时候特别的
粘她，可是有一回她出差了，回来以后奶奶高兴的指
给我看“看，是谁回来了？”，我看了一眼说“妈
妈”，然后就继续做自己的事情了，这把她伤心死了。
可是从我记事起，我就觉得我一点没有恋家过。小学
的时候手拉手活动去山区待了两天，不想家。

• 第一次与父母分离？我记不清了。反正应该没有大
吵大闹过。当然并不是我喜欢去上幼儿园或者小学
，我只是不怕遇到那么多人，况且我知道放学后就
可以回家的。上了大学，离开父母的心情中，当然
有不舍，但是没有难过。
• 印象比较深刻的是小学三年级的时候，我转到了一
所离家非常远的寄宿制学校，一周回家一次。在班
车上的时候，看到站在下面向我挥手的父母，和身
边完全不认识的老师、同学，我的心情特别失落，
当车子开动起来的时候，我就开始掉眼泪了。

对于第一次跟父母分离的情况我实在说不清是什么样的
情况，应该是上幼儿园吧，只是听妈妈说，我很乖很听
老师的话，从来不哭闹。自己有印象的真正意义上的分
开应该是上寄宿小学的第一天吧。其实当时的我哪有在
意什么分不分开，完全被新学校，新朋友所吸引。爸爸
妈妈把我交给老师，办完手续后就离开了，一切都很自
然，对我来讲这是梦寐以求的好事，用我当时的话来讲
是终于脱离苦海，可以自由的生活了。
虽然幼儿园就在家的对面，妈妈领着我来到幼儿园门口
时，我说什么也不肯进去了。于是妈妈只好把我带回家
，第二天妈妈用好吃的东西诱惑我才把我带到了教室门
口，而幼儿园的阿姨则在门口用玩具“迎接”我，这才
顺利完成的交接过程。

theory: Representational models
• Internal working models
– A representation model of attachment
relationship is a mental representation of the self,
the other, and their relations.
– Representational models include feelings, beliefs,
expectations, behavioral strategies, and rules for
directing attention, interpreting information, and
organizing memory.

perpetuate early patterns
• Once formed, representational models
tend to maintain their coherence and
patterns of organization.
• New social partners are selected on the
basis of, and/or are assimilated to, old
models of people and relationships.

perpetuate early patterns
• Individual’s representational models set the stage
for interactions with new social partners and have
long-lasting consequences for personality
development and for the nature of close
relationships
• The pattern of attachment behavior and the
associated representational models of attachment
relationships are adaptive for the environment in
which the young child develops them.
theory: Multiple models
• It is not uncommon for a person to hold two
conflicting internal models of an important
relationship.
• One of the child’s representational models
develops largely from direct experience, encoded
and stored in episodic memory. A second,
contradictory model may develop largely from
cognitive input if what the parents tell the child
conflicts with her actual experience.
Major propositions of attachment theory:
Vulnerability to psychopathology
• DSM-IV list criteria for identifying
attachment disorders of infancy.
– These disorders are characterized by the
absence, disruption, or distortion of the
developmental sequences of attachment
behaviors that normally occur and that orient
and tie the baby to his or her caregivers.

Major propositions of attachment theory:
• The attachment system is also central to some
forms of psychopathology that emerge later in
life
– School refusal is clearly a symptom of a
disturbance in an attachment relationship
– School refusal is persistent, very anxious behavior
that truly prevents a child from attending school
regularly

Major propositions of attachment theor
• Attachment theory incorporates much of
the concept of transference from classical
psychoanalytic theory.
– Transference occurs when the individual
assimilates new partners (spouse, friend,
employer, therapist, and even, sometimes, a
child) to existing, largely unconscious,
representational models of relationships—
models developed in childhood and never
revised or updated
2020年9月11日 since 李同归
北京大学心理学系 then 209
theory: Continuity and change
• Attachment patterns and representational

models tend to maintain themselves
• Attachment theorists have often
emphasized that development continues all
through childhood, adolescence, and
adulthood
• In all but the most severe cases of
psychopathology, change remains possible.
• Changes in a child’s attachment behavior
and in her representational models of
attachment relationships can evolve from
developmental changes and/or from
changes in experience
– Developmental changes in the child can also
either support improvements or increase
tension in her relationships with her parents
• Changes in the quality of the child’s
attachment can also result from changes in
the parent’s behavior that result from
changes in the family’s circumstances (such
as an economic setback or advance, a move
to a new neighborhood, the birth of a
sibling, a death, a divorce, a marriage,
psychotherapy, or a child’s entry into day
care or school)
theory: Psychotherapy
• Psychotherapist be aware of his or her role
as an attachment figure for the client.
• Therapist should act as a secure base who,
by being supportive and predictably
available and responsive, can foster trust
and enable clients to explore and revise
their internal working models of attachment
relationships and of themselves.
theory: Psychotherapy
• Unlike most traditional psychoanalysts, Bowlby did not
advocate restricting oneself to being a “blank screen” onto
which the patient might project whatever was in his mind.
• The client’s work in psychotherapy is also likely to include
gaining access to unconscious representational models and
memories; experiencing or reexperiencing the feelings
associated with previously repressed knowledge;reevaluating
perceptions and beliefs; developing a mental model of self as
loveable, worhty, and competent; experimenting with new
behaviors; modifying existing relationships

Three common misperceptions
about attachment theory
• Babies are attached only to the primary caregiver or
mother figure.
• Experiences in the first year of infancy fully determine
the individual’s psychological future. (It set the child
on a developmental trajectory, but life provides many
experiences and opportunities that can modify or
even radically alter this trajectory)
• Separations associated with infant day care are
terrible for babies and toddlers.
theory: Infant patterns
• From ethological perspective, both a propensity to
form attachments and flexibility in organizing
attachment behavior are adaptive as the species
evolves; they increase the likelihood that the species
will survive.
• Flexibility allows for considerable variation among
individuals as each adapts to the specific physical,
familial, and cultural environment in which he or she
spends a single lifetime.
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• Ainsworth’s Uganda: lengthy observations of
infants and their mothers in their natural
environments.
• Strange Situation: a laboratory procedure, a
moderately stressful events, activated the
infant’s attachment system and high-lighted
individual differences in the organization of
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• Securely attached baby: approaches or signals
to the attachment figure at reunion and soon
achieves a degree of proximity or contact that
suffices to terminate attachment behavior.
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Securely attached baby:
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• Avoidant attachment: fails to greet her
mother when she returns to the lab room
after a brief absence, ignores her overtures,
and acts as if she is of little importance.
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Avoidant attachment
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• Resistant attachment: both anxiety and mixed
feelings about the attachment figure are readily
observable.
• At reunion after brief separations in an unfamiliar
environment, these babies mingle openly angry
behavior with their attachment behavior.
• They may cry and reach to be picked up but then
push away from the caregiver. They are often
difficult to soothe.
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• Resistant attachment:
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• Main & Solomon: disorganized-disoriented.
• Show a variety of indices of insecurity. Some
appear to be clinically depressed; some show
mixtures of avoidant behavior, openly angry
behavior, and attachment behavior; and some
show odd behaviors and behavior sequences
that leave observers with a sense of
discomfort or disturbance.
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Lecture 8: Infancy and Early
childhood attachment

Research methods for infancy
• Naturalistic observations
– James & Robertson made close observation of
young children who lived apart from their
mothers for a week, or a month – because of the
mother’s hospitalization for childbirth or surgery.
– Ainsworth’s Uganda observation
– Ainsworth’s Baltimore naturalistic longitudinal
study in the 1960s

• Strange Situation laboratory procedure
(Ainsworth & Wittig, 1969)
– A semi-standardized laboratory procedure for
examining attachment behavior, exploratory
behavior, and affiliative behavior in 1-year-olds.
– It captures individual differences in ways of
organizing behavior, and the differences have
meaningful connections with the infant’s prior
experiences and subsequent adaptations.

Measurement of
attachment:
Strange situation
procedure
Ainsworth et al. (1978)

表1：婴儿依恋研究中的“陌生情景法”(SSP)
情景在场人物 * 程序
1 B，C，E E告诉C应该把B放在实验室的什么地方，以及C应该坐在哪儿后离开。如果需要的话，C告
诉B可以开始玩玩具。
2 B，C C不主动跟婴儿交互作用，但可以对婴儿的行为做出反应。
3 B，C，S S进入实验场地，静静地坐 1分钟，与 C交谈 1分钟，主动与婴儿交往，或者和婴儿一起玩一分钟。
4 B，S C离开，S让婴儿自己玩。如果B需要安慰，S就过去安慰，如果婴儿哭得很厉害，这个情
景可以早点结束。
5 B，C C从门外叫婴儿的名字，进入实验室，招呼B。如果B需要安慰，C可以安慰B，如果婴儿准
备玩玩具，C就坐在椅子上。如果婴儿显得非常难过，或者需要更多的时间与C在一起，
这个情景可以延长。
6 B C离开，让B独处，如果B哭得太厉害，这个情景可以被缩短。
7 B，S S进来，招呼B。如果B显得很正常，S就坐在椅子上。如果B需要安慰，S就尽量给予安慰。
如果B哭得太厉害，这个情景可以缩短。
8 B，C C从门外叫B，进入实验场地，抱起B，如果需要，及时安慰B，如果B想玩，就让B重新去
玩。
* B：婴儿，C：养育者(母亲)，E：实验员，S：陌生人(观察者)
• Strange Situation Procedure
– Coders use scales for rating intensity of interactive
behavior in four categories:
• (1) proximity seeking and contact seeking,
• (2) contact maintaining,
• (3) resistance,
• (4) avoidance.

Attachment patterns in infancy
• The “A” category: Avoidant Attachment
• Conspicuous avoidance of proximity to or
interaction with the mother in the reunion
episodes.
• Ignore the mother almost entirely (A1)
• Moderate proximity-seeking behavior mixed
with strong proximity-avoiding behavior (A2)

• The “A” category: Avoidant Attachment
– Little or no active resistance to interaction

– Often little or no distress during separations
– Often affiliative toward stranger

• The “B” category: Secure Attachment
• Uses caregiver as secure base for exploration
• Communicates affects during play
• Actively seeks contact or interaction at reunion
• If distressed, seeks and maintains contact and is
soothed by contact

• The “C” category: Resistant Attachment
– Appears obviously ambivalent about the caregiver
– Seeks proximity or contact, or resists release
– Shows open resistance to contact or interaction
– Tends to be very distressed during separations
– Has difficulty setting down during reunion episodes
– Shows little or no avoidance
– May show generally maladaptive behavior

• The “D” category: Anxious-Disorganized-
Disoriented
• Shows one or more of the following:
– Disordered sequences of behavior (e.g., approach,
then dazed avoidance)
– Simultaneous contradictory behavior (e.g., marked
gaze aversion during approach or contact)
– Inappropriate, stereotyped, repetitive gestures or
motions

• The “D” category: Anxious-Disorganized-Disoriented
• Shows one or more of the following (cont.):
– Freezing or stilling
– Open fear of the caregiver (usually very brief)
– Attachment behavior directed to the stranger when the
caregiver returns
– High avoidance and high resistance in the same episode
– Depressed, dazed, disoriented, or affectless facial
expressions

Validity of the Strange Situation
• To be valid, the Strange Situation must accurately
assess the pattern of a baby’s attachment behavior,
and the pattern observed in the laboratory must
have a meaningful relation to the pattern of the
baby’s behavior in natural settings.
• Construct validity
– It accurately measures what it is supposed to measure—
the quality of an infant’s attachment to a caregiver.
• The SS classifications have been related in meaningful, consistent
ways to the home behavior.

• External validity
• SS categories are related in meaningful ways to
measures of constructs other than attachment,
including measures of how the baby is doing around
the time of the SS assessment (concurrent validity)
and measures of how the child is developing later in
life (predictive validity)
• Michael Lamb’s conclusion

• Lamb’s conclusion
• It is clear that the infant’s prior experiential history outside of
the SS does relate in a predictable and consistent fashion to SS
behavior. Overall, there is good reason to believe that mothers
who behave in a fashion considered sensitive or socially-
desirable by Americans tend to have infants who later exhibit
B-type behavior in the SS ……Further, the studies conducted on
maltreated infants, those on the differences between mother-
and father-infant attachments, … and those on the effects of
changing caretaking arrangements…all suggest that variations
in the infant’s experiential history with a specific caretaker do
influence SS behavior in a consistent and predictable fashion.

• However, the Strange Situation was
developed and validated as a research tool,
not as a clinical test.
• Is the SS a valid assessment of security of
attachment to the father?
– There is no particular reason to doubt that it is,
but surprisingly, few studies have specifically
addressed the question.

• Distribution of attachment patterns
• US: secure (Group B) 60-65%
avoidant (Group A) 20-25%
resistant (Group C) 10%
anxious-disorganized (Group D) 10%
China (Hu & Meng, 1996):
secure 53%
avoidance 14%
resistant 23%
anxious-disorganized 10%

The attachment Q-sort
• Waters & Deane’s (1985) Q-sort

• Criterion Sorts: methods for analyzing the data
– To compare the Q-set description of each subject
with a criterion sort provided by experts.
– A criterion sort is an operational definition of a
construct. It is a profile, a set of scores for items in
the Q-sort, that specifies the criteria that define a
construct.
– Waters & Deane (1985) asked 43 Ph.D. psychologists
familiar with developmental theories of those
constructs to use the items in the attachment Q-set
to define security, dependency, and sociability.
• Measurement reliability
– The Q-sort has several advantages the SS lacks
– It rates degree of security on a scale
– It can be repeated almost as soon and as often as an
investigator wishes
– It can be administered almost anywhere, and
natural caregivers, not just trained observers, can
provide the data
– If it proves to be a valid method of assessing security
of attachments, it will be a tremendously valuable
research tool
what factors or variables
determine how individual babies
organize their attachment
behavior?

Sensitive responsiveness
• In infancy, what factors or variables determine
how individual babies organize their attachment
behavior?
the quality of care the attachment figure provides.
– The caregiver’s sensitive responsiveness.
– Sensitive responsiveness: includes noticing signals
from the baby, interpreting them accurately, and
responding appropriately and fairly promptly.

Sensitive responsiveness
• Insensitivity: is not necessarily hostile or actively
unpleasant behavior on the part of the caregiver. It
exists when the caregiver fails to read the baby’s states
or goals or fails to respond supportively, and thereby
fails to help the baby attain a positive state or achieve
his goals.
• The insensitive caregiver thus teaches the baby that his
signals are ineffective—or even counterproductive.
• Sensitively responsive care foster secure attachment.
(Ainsworth)

Sensitive responsiveness :The
Baltimore Study
• Observed 26 white middle-class mother infant dyads
at home for about 72 hours spaced over the first
year.
• What enabled the group B babies to develop secure
attachment?
– Their mother have high scores for sensitive responsiveness
during the home observations:
– When the baby cried, the mother came soon, figured out
what the baby needed, and helped her get it.
– When the baby was hungry, the mother fed her.

Baltimore Study
– When she needed a little longer to chew and
swallow, the mother waited before offering the
next spoonful of food.
– When the baby wanted social interaction or
contact comfort, the mother provided it.
– When the baby wanted to explore, the mother
did not interfere.
– When the mother’s or family’s schedule required
that the baby shift to a different place or activity,
the mother was tactful about guiding the baby
through the transition.

Baltimore Study
– When the baby was tired, the mother helped her
settle down to sleep.
– When the baby was able to crawl, the mother,
without harshness, enforced appropriate limits to
keep the baby safe while allowing the baby to
exercise her increasing motor skills and explore
her enlarging world.

Baltimore Study
• The mothers of anxiously attached babies:
– More likely to pick the baby up in an abrupt, interfering
manner
– When holding the baby, they were less likely to behave
affectionately and more likely to behave ineptly.
• Avoidant attachment as an adaptation to insensitive
care
– Maternal behavior most associated with the development
of infant avoidance: include rejection, aversion to close
bodily contact, covert anger, and a generally compulsive
kind of adjustment.

Baltimore Study
• Avoidant attachment as an adaptation to insensitive care
– The mothers of avoidant babies appeared to have rigid,
compulsive personalities.
– They were especially rejecting toward their infants.
– They chronically gave frustrating responses when their babies
sought proximity and contact.
– They showed more aversion to physical contact than other
mothers did, and provided the baby with a greater number of
unpleasant, even painful, experiences associated with close
contact. However, they did not hold their babies significantly
less than other mothers did.

Baltimore Study
Resistant attachment as a response to insensitive care
– The mothers with resistant attachment baby were less
affectionate when picking their babies up
– less tender and careful when holding them, more inept when
handling them
– Less responsive to crying
– Less sensitive to infant signals
– Less likely to greet or otherwise acknowledge the baby when
entering the room
– Less accessible, less cooperative, and less accepting
– However, they showed no aversion to close bodily contact

More influence on attachment:
Caregiver’s availability
Is there any reason to think the primary
caregiver’s personality should determine or
influence the infant’s attachment pattern?
– In some cases, YES.
– A caregiver who suffers from a mental illness or
from a personality disorder may care for and
respond to an infant in limited and/or deviant ways.
The infant would then develop a guarded, distorted,
or deviant pattern of attachment behavior.

In the absence of psychiatric problems in the caregiver should
we expect associations between measures of the caregiver’s
personality and classification of the infant’s attachment
pattern?
– Maybe.
– Unfortunately, the overall picture that emerges from studies that have
assessed maternal personality in low-risk samples is fuzzy.
– In some studies, maternal personality variables do not help to predict
patterns of attachment at all.
– However, it is almost always the case that positive maternal
characteristics, such as autonomy, flexibility, and nurturance, are
associated with secure infant attachments.

• Most babies with depressed mothers develop
anxious attachments?
– The available data suggest that infants of
depressed mothers experience a dearth of
rewarding, contingent responsiveness.

Does the baby’s gender, birth order, or social class
influence the pattern of attachment that develops in
infancy?
– Socioeconomic status helps to predict patterns of
attachment to the mother only when it is very low. In the
case of very poor families, anxious attachments to the
mother are more common than they are at more favorable
economic levels. Families in poverty are often coping with
multiple problems.
– Distributions of secure, avoidant, resistant, and
disorganized attachments to the mother appear to be about
the same among working-class, lower-middle-class and
upper-middle-class families, among firstborns and later-
borns, and among boys and girls.
The role of Father

The father’s role
• What role does a father usually take when his son or
daughter is just a baby?
• To what extent is he a playmate, a physical caregiver,
an emotional caregiver, a protector, a disciplinarian, or
a teacher?
• Many of the same behaviors serve different behavioral
systems at different times in the same infant.
• For example, baby’s smile might reflect a surprising
and interesting, might be an affiliative behavior, might
be a greeting smile

• 母爱就其本质来说是无条件的。母亲热爱新生儿，并不
是因为孩子满足了她的什么特殊的愿望，符合她的想像
，而是因为这是她生的孩子。
• 同父亲的关系则完全不同。母亲是我们的故乡，是大自
然、大地和海洋。而父亲不体现任何一种自然渊源。在
最初几年内孩子同父亲几乎没有什么联系，在这个阶段
父亲的作用几乎无法同母亲相比。父亲虽然不代表自然
世界，却代表人类生存的另一个极端：即代表思想的世
界，人所创造的法律、秩序和纪律等事物的世界。父亲
是教育孩子，向孩子指出通往世界之路的人。
---- 弗洛姆《爱的艺术》

The father’s role
• Does the infant use the father as
secure base, monitoring and
maintaining proximity to him when
they are away from home?
• When frightened, does the infant
cry for the father or rush to him?
• Does contact with the father
soothe the infant?
• Does the baby protest when the
father leaves the house?

The father’s role
• In US samples, when a baby is interacting
with his father, the father is often in the role
of playmate, not in the role of attachment
figure. Do babies normally develop
attachments to their fathers anyway?
– It seems very likely that most do.
In everyday life, babies often protest when the
father departs from the room or from the house.
They often greet their fathers at reunion.

Distribution of patterns of
attachment to fathers
• Are babies as likely to develop secure
attachment to their fathers as to their
mothers?
– It seems so.
– Results converge on the finding that the
distribution of infants’ patterns of attachment to
their fathers is about the same as the distribution
of infants’ patterns of attachment to their mothers.

Determinants of security
• Does the amount of time a father spends in
interaction with his baby help predict
whether the baby will be securely attached
to him?
– Research results are mixed.
– Only 44% babies who had low levels of
interaction with their fathers were securely
attached to them.

• Did more interaction actually help a baby
develop trust in her father as a reliable
secure base?
– Maybe.
• Did fathers who were inclined to respond in
ways that foster security choose to spend
more time with their babies?
– Probably.

• If attachment relationships with fathers are
anything like attachment relationships with
mothers, quality of interaction, not quantity
(or not just quantity), should predict security
of attachment?
– Surprisingly few studies have explicitly tested the
hypothesis.

Concordance in infant-mother
and infant-father attachments
• Is an infant who is securely attached to the mother likely
also to be securely attached to the father?
• Does the pattern of attachment generalize from the
relationship with the mother into the relationship with
the father, or does the pattern of attachment to the
father result specifically from interactions with the
father?
– Most of the early studies of concordance between an infant’s
SS classification with his mother and with his father failed to
find any significant association between the two.

Concordance in infant-mother
and infant-father attachments
– When a baby was secure with one parent but insecure with
the other, the insecure attachment was about equally likely
to be avoidant or resistant.
– Infants’ patterns of attachment to their two parents did often
differ. About 1 out of every 4 babies in the meta-analysis had
a secure attachment to one parent but an anxious
attachment to the other.
– It certainly still appears that behavior in the SS reflects
experience with the specific caregiver participating in it, not a
general model derived from one relationship and transferred
automatically to all others.

Phases in the development of
attachments in infancy
• Phase 1: The pre-attachment phase
– Comprises the first few weeks of life
– Nondiscriminative orientation and signaling to figures,
i.e., very young babies tend to orient their sensory
receptors toward people, and they emit signals that
people tend to respond to.
– Newborn’s reflexes—crying, grasping, and later, smiling
—tend to draw caregivers near or keep them close.
– The rooting and sucking reflexes also play a role in the
formation of attachment and the eliciting of care.

• Phase 1: The pre-attachment phase
– If you touch a baby’s cheek softly, he will turn his face toward the
touch, open his mouth, and search around with his mouth for a
little while.
– If his mouth comes across something it can latch onto, such as a
thumb or a nipple, the mouth will close around it. The feel of
something against the roof of his mouth will then trigger the
sucking reflex.
– These reflexes obviously help the baby obtain food.
– The behaviors of a baby who is too young to be able to do much
more than exercise his reflexes serve as precursor attachment
behaviors. They draw caregivers toward the baby and trigger
interaction sequences.

• Phase 2: Attachment-in-the-making
– As the early weeks and months pass, the baby gradually
orients himself and directs signals to familiar people more
often than to others.
– A baby as young as 2 days old can demonstrate a
preference for the smell of his own mother’s milk over the
smell of another mother’s milk.
– A baby who is only 3 or 4 weeks may be soothed more
easily by the smell and feel of a familiar caregiver than by
a stranger
– When he is a little older, the baby reacts differently to
familiar voices than to unfamiliar ones.

– After 4 months, smiles to strangers decrease in frequency,
intensity, and ease of elicitation.
– Smiles to familiar figures in crease in frequency, intensity,
and ease of elicitation.
– When babies first discover that objects that can be seen
can also be grasped, they tend to reach for any person or
thing that looks interesting.
– By the age of 5 or 6 months, it is common for babies to
reach more readily for contact with their caregivers than
for strangers

– Discriminative smiling and reaching nearly
demonstrate the existence of attachments to
familiar people.
– Babies who are 5 or 6 months old can usually be
soothed more easily by familiar caregivers than by
others.

• Phase 3: Clear-cut Attachment
– Around the age of 7 months
– In the home and in the community, the baby now shows
active, “goal-corrected” maintenance of proximity to a
specific figure by locomotion as well as by signaling.
– The repertoire of attachment behaviors now include not
only crying, smiling, and reaching, but also following,
approaching, and clinging to the attachment figure, and
protesting separations

– Cognitive development
• Infants first search for objects hidden from view,
thereby showing an ability to recall that an object
continues to exist.
• First differentiate means from ends. They become able
to use the same behavior intentionally for different
purposes, and they can keep trying different behaviors
until one succeeds in accomplishing a single goal.

– These milestones in cognitive development are necessary
for the demonstration of clear-cut attachment.
– When a baby is old enough to crawl, a behavioral system
that keeps the baby near an attachment figure who can
protect him serves an adaptive function.
– Although feeding a baby is neither necessary nor sufficient
to produce an attachment to a social partner, breast
feeding can become an attachment behavior. It can
become another way of clinging to the mother, a way that
is more intimate and more soothing than any other sort of
physical contact.

• Phase 4: The goal-corrected partnership
– A toddler (12-24 months) must accommodate himself or
herself to the caregiver’s current behavior or seek directly
to change it.
– Preschoolers become sufficiently advanced cognitively to
understand that the caregiver has feelings and plans that
may differ from their own.
– The extent to which they can now understand or make
inferences about the other person’s feelings and thoughts,
although limited, is adequate to enable them to try to
change the caregiver’s behavior by trying to change the
latter’s plans and short-term goals.

• Phase 4: The goal-corrected partnership
– Bowlby described this new type of relationship as
a “goal-corrected partnership”: the child becomes
a partner in planning how the dyad will handle
separations.

• Nonattachment
– One of the recognized disorders of attachment in
infancy is nonattachment—the failure to form an
enduring bond to a specific individual.
– Such a disorder is likely to develop only when the
infant has no opportunity to form an enduring
bond because no major caregiver stays involved
in his or her life.

• Phase 1: The preattachment
phase
• Phase 2: Attachment-in-the-
making
• Phase 3: Clear-cut
Attachment
• Phase 4: The goal-corrected
partnership

Lecture 9 : Romantic love as
attachment processes
281
• The basic features of the attachment system:
282
Secure type
Anxious/Ambivalent
(or Preoccupied)
Is the
Attachment Yes
Figure near Felt Playful
Attentive security Less inhibited
etc.? Confidence Smiling
Love, Exploration-
oriented,
sociable
No
Hierarchy of
attachment behavior
1.Visual checking Fear defe- Maintenance
2.signaling to anxi- nsive Of proximity
Reestablish contact, ety While avoiding
Calling, pleading Close contrast
3.moving to reestab- Defensive
lish Contact, clinging exploration
Avoidant Type
283
Adult attachment
• Stability of attachment patterns
• Attachment patterns are relatively stable.
– Bowlby (1980): continuity of attachment style is
due primarily to the persistence of mental models
of self and others, central components of
personality.
– Working models tend to be stable because they
develop and operate in the context of a fairly
stable family setting.
284
Adult attachment
• On the other hand, attachment behavior and working
models cannot be regarded as fixed in infancy and
unchanging through life.
• Attachment patterns vary in stability depending on the
degree of satisfaction that each person derives from the
patterns.
• Attachment patterns may be changed by subsequent
events that alter the behavior of either of the individuals
in the relationship
• Working models themselves are subject to change
285
Applying attachment theory to
adults’ close relationships
• Attachment system plays a vital role throughout the
life cycle and that attachment behavior characterizes
human beings “from the cradle to the grave”.
• Ainsworth (1989) proposes criteria for attachment
relationships throughout life span.
– Attachment relationships are a particular type of
affectional bond
– The distinguishing feature of attachments is that the
individual obtains or seeks closeness from the relationship
that results in feelings of comfort and security.
286
• Weiss (1991): three criteria of attachment
– (1)proximity seeking
– (2)secure base
– (3)separation protest
287
Proximity
Maintenance
Staying near and
resisting
Separation
from
Secure Base
Attachment Using as a base
From which to
engage in
nonattachment
behavior
Safe Haven
Turing to for comfort,
support, reassurance,
etc.
The defining features of attachment

288
• Weiss (1991): other key properties of
childhood attachments
• (1)elicitation by threat
• (2)Specificity of attachment figure
• (3)Inaccessibility to conscious control
• (4)persistence
• (5)insensitivity to experience with the
attachment figure
289
• Based on the criteria for attachment
relationships, Ainsworth (1989) and Weiss (1991)
conclude that some adult relationships can be
validly regarded as attachment.
– Relationships between adults and their parents and
between patients and therapists are likely to display
properties of attachment bonds.
• The criteria for attachment are found in most
marital and committed nonmarital romantic
relationships
290
Theoretical Analysis of Love as
attachment
• Hazan & Shaver (1988) theoretical analysis of
romantic love addresses four main issues:
• (1)the nature of love as an emotion
• (2)the relationship between love and attachment.
• (3)The concept of love as the integration of
behavioral systems
• (4)Comparison of the attachment perspective
with previous conceptualizations of love.
291
attachment
• Hazan & Shaver (1988):Love as an emotion
• Emotion is a complex pattern of appraisals and
action tendencies. For each basic emotion, there
is a set of typical elicitors or antecedents and a
set of typical responses.
• In the case of romantic love, possible elicitors
include familiarity with the other, having the
other satisfy one’s own needs, and having the
other inspire one with trust.
292
Possible elicitors Possible reactions
familiarity Feeling secure, trusting, self-

confident
Other satisfies
Wanting best for other, wanting
self’s needs
Love to give to other
Other inspires trust, Wanting physical

security closeness with other
Love as an emotion: Elicitors and reactions
293
attachment
• Hazan & Shaver (1988): The relationship between
love and attachment
• Parallels between infant-caregiver attachment
and romantic love
– Behavioral and emotional similarities include frequent
eye contact, smiling, and holding
– The desire to share discoveries and reactions with the
other
– Powerful empathy
294
attachment
• Parallels between infant-caregiver
attachment and romantic love
– If the attachment figure is available and
responsive, the individual feels secure
– If the attachment figure is unavailable, the
individual will signal or move closer until
feelings of security are restored
295
attachment
• Parallels between infant-caregiver
attachment and romantic love
• These parallels suggest that these two
types of relationships may be variants of a
single underlying process.
296
attachment
• Love as the integration of behavioral systems
– Two types of bonds differ in fundamental ways
• Romantic love is characterized by reciprocal
caregiving, in which each partner moves between the
roles of provider and recipient of care (physical,
emotional, and material) depending on needs and
circumstances.
• Infant-caregiver relationships are highly asymmetrical
• Romantic love almost always involves a component
of sexuality.
297
attachment
• Love as the integration of behavioral systems
– Shaver & Hazan (1988) propose that romantic love involves
the integration of three behavioral systems:
• Attachment
• Caregiving
• Sexuality
– Of the three systems, the attachment system is seen as
pivotal, it is the first system to appear in the course of the
individual’s development
– Attachment system plays a key role in the formation of
mental models of self and others, and hence it lays the
foundations for the other systems.
298
Attachment
Prototypical Sexual
Pair Bond Mating
Caregiving
The components of a prototypical pair bond

299
attachment
• Comparing the attachment perspective with previous
conceptualization of love
– Shaver & Hazan compare the attachment perspective with
three previous conceptualizations: theories of “anxious
love”, theories delineating the components of love, and the
theory of “love styles”.
– Anxious love: focus on love marked by anxiety, jealousy,
obsessiveness, and fear of abandonment (other names
include: lovesickness, limerence, desperate love)
– These forms of love are equivalent to the anxious-
ambivalent style of love
300
attachment
• Comparing the attachment perspective with
previous conceptualization of love
– Componential theories of love
– Sternberg’s (1986) triangular theory of love
• Intimacy (feelings of closeness and connectedness)
• Passion (drives that lead to physical and sexual
attraction)
• Decision-commitment (the short-term decision that one
loves the other and the long-term commitment to
maintain that love)
301
attachment
– Love Styles: Shaver & Hazan compare the attachment
perspective with Lee’s theory of love styles.
– Lee proposes a typology of love founded on a “color wheel”
analogy
– There are three primary love styles
• Eros (romantic, passionate love)
• Ludus (game-playing love)
• Storge (friendship love)
302
attachment
– Lee proposes a typology of love founded on a “color wheel” analogy
– There are three secondary love styles
• Mania (possessive, dependent love; a fusion of eros and ludus)
• Pragma (logical, “shopping-list” love; a fusion of ludus and storge)
• Agape (selfless, all-giving love; a fusion of storge and eors).
303
Lee’s Eros and Storge Love attitudes
• Lee’s six love styles:
– Eros: love based on physical attraction to the partner
– Ludus: playful and game-like love
– Storge: a style based on slowly developing affection
and companionship
– Mania: Love characterized by obsession and jealousy
– Agape: altruistic love
– Pragma: a practical style involving conscious
consideration of the demographic and the objective
characteristics of the loved one
304
Lee’s Love styles
Eros ：浪漫激烈式愛情
Ludus ：遊戲式愛情
Storge ：友誼式愛情
Mania ：占有依恋式愛情
Pragma ：理智型愛情
Agape ：奉獻式愛情
305
Ludus
Ludus Mania Pragma
Eros Storge
Eros Storge
Agape
The primaries
The secondaries
Lee’s Love style
306
attachment
• Shaver & Hazan (1988)’s analysis
• Secure attachment corresponds to a
combination of eros and agape
• Avoidant attachment corresponds to ludus
• Anxious-ambivalent attachment corresponds
to mania
• The remaining love style (pragma and storge)
are discounted as forms of romantic love.
307
attachment
• Advantages of the attachment perspective
– (1) the attachment framework provides a
developmental perspective: differing orientations
to romantic love are seen as originating in early
social experiences, and the mediating processes
involving mental models of attachment can
account for both the continuity of early relational
patterns and the possibility of change.
• romantic love is not as an isolated phenomenon but
as an integral part of human affectional bonding.
308
attachment
– (2) The theory is sufficiently broad to encompass a
range of relationship issues such as love, anxiety,
loneliness, and grief, i.e., attachment theory deals
with issues related to the experience of love; these
include the effect of love relationships on other
personal relationships and on work projects, and
the effects of separation and loss.
309
attachment
– (3) The attachment perspective is a parsimonious
one that enables both healthy and unhealthy forms
of love to be explained in terms of the same
general principles
– The various forms of love are seen as originating as
predictable adaptations to specific social
circumstances.
310
The first empirical studies of love as
attachment: Hazan & Shaver (1987)
• Two questionnaire-based studies of adult samples
investigating the association between attachment
style and aspects of childhood and adult relationships.
– The first sample was large and broadly based,
consisting of respondents to a “love quiz”
presented in a local newspaper
– The second was a sample of undergraduate
students
311
The first empirical studies of love as
attachment: Hazan & Shaver (1987)
• Results:
• (1) Relative frequencies of the three attachment styles
closely approximate those observed among infants.
• (2) Persons endorsing the different attachment styles
differed in attachment history, endorsement of items
designed to tap mental models concerning the self
and relationships, and reports of romantic love
experiences. The specific pattern of group differences
on these measures was consistent with predictions
based on attachment theory
312
Attachment style differences on measures of attachment
history, mental models, and love experiences
Measure Secure Avoidant Anxious-
Ambivalent
Attachment Warm relationships Mothers Fathers perceived as
with both parents and perceived as cold unfair
history between the parents and rejecting
Easy to know; few Romantic love Self-doubts;
Mental misunderstood by
self-doubts; others rarely lasts;
models well-intentioned; romantic love
others; easy to fall in
love, but real love rare;
romantic love lasts loses intensity others unwilling to
commit
Love Happiness; Fear of intimacy; Obsession and

difficulty in jealousy; desire for
experiences friendship; accepting partner union and
trust reciprocation;
emotional extremes
313
Integrating theories of Love
• Levy & Davis (1988): interrelationships between
measures of attachment style and the six love styles.
• Modest correlations between various love styles and
attachment styles.
– Secure attachment was related positively to Eros and Agape
and negatively to Ludus
– Avoidant attachment was related positively to Ludus and
negatively to Eros
– Anxious-Ambivalent attachment was related
positively to Mania
314
• Levy & Davis (1988): also assessed the links between
attachment styles and measures of the three
components of love in Sternberg’s model
• All three components of love were related positively
to secure attachment and negatively to avoidant and
anxious-ambivalent attachment.
• Avoidance was more strongly associated with lack of
commitment to romantic relationships and anxious-
ambivalence was associated with a dominating style
of response to conflict.
315
• Feeney & Noller (1990)’s studies: Two aims
– (1) The role of storge (friendship love)
• Shaver: storge is not a romantic style at all.
• Levy: fail to support the link between storge and secure
attachment
– (2) Relation between forms of anxious love and
anxious-ambivalent attachment
• Shaver: anxious love as unidimensional
316
• Feeney & Noller (1990)’s studies:
• explore attachment group differences in relationship
experiences using a broad range of relevant variables:
– Self-esteem;
– Loving (defined by using Rubin’s Love scale)
– Love style (Hendrick & Hendrick’s items)
– Limerence (love marked by fear of rejection, emotional
extremes, and preoccupation)
– Love addiction (involving obsession, over-
involvement, and extreme dependency)
317
• Feeney & Noller (1990)’s studies: Results
• (1) Although the measure of love styles revealed 6
major factors, these did not correspond exactly the
the 6 scales described by Hendrick (1986).
• (2) There was evidence that most measures of anxious
love involve more than one dimension.
• (3) Second-order factor analysis of the 16 scales
provides an integration of the key themes present in
previous measures of love.
318
• (4) Four factors were revealed:
– neurotic love (involving obsessive preoccupation,
emotional dependence, and idealization of the
partner)
– Self-confidence (high self-esteem, together with
lack of self-conscious anxiety in dealing with
romantic partners)
– Avoidance of intimacy (high scores on ludus and
low scores on items related to loving, eros, and
agape)
– Circumspect love (friendship and pragma)
319
• (5) Clarifying the links between attachment style and
other theories of love:
– Secure obtained high scores on self-confidence and low
scores on the three remaining scales
– Both insecure groups reported low self-confidence, but
clearly differed in other respects
• Avoidant were marked by avoidance of intimacy
• Anxious-ambivalent obtained high scores on neurotic love and low
scores on circumspect love
• The results generally support Shaver’s theoretical
formulation.
320
Adult attachment styles and affect regulation
• Attachment theory can be described as a theory of affect
regulation; that is, a theory about how people handle
negative emotion.
• Based on the caregiver’s responsiveness to the infant’s
signals of distress, the infant learns a set of strategies for
organizing emotional experience and dealing with
negative feelings.
• By the process of generalization, these strategies come
to be applied to any distressing situation
• Strategies learned through interactions with caregivers
are adaptive
• They may be either appropriate or inappropriate for
dealing with situations in the longer term.
321
Adult attachment styles and affect regulation
• Adult attachment styles should be associated with
characteristic patterns of response to distress.
– Secure should handle negative feelings in a relatively
constructive manner by acknowledging their distress and
turning to others for support and comfort
– Avoidant are likely to show restricted acknowledgment of
negative feelings and restricted displays of anger and
distress, learned as a strategy for reducing conflict with
rejecting or insensitive caregivers
– Anxious-Ambivalent are likely to show relatively constant
awareness of negative feelings. They focus their attention
on these feelings in a hypervigilant way and display
heightened expressions of fear and anger
322
Adult attachment styles and affect
regulation: Empirical findings
• Kobak & Sceery (1988) examined attachment style,
representations of self and others, and affect
regulation using a sample of first-year college
students.
– Secure showed constructive ways of handling negative
feelings in social contexts
– Insecure were rated by peers as low on ego-resilience.
• Dismissing were also rated by peers as high on hostility, but
reported similar levels of social competence and distress as secure.
• Preoccupied were seen by peers as high in anxiety and reported
high levels of distress
323
• Feeney & Noller (1991) conducted a study in
which subjects who were currently in dating
relationships provided open-ended verbal
descriptions of their relationships.
– “What kind of person your partner is, and how
you get along together”
• Two weeks late, completed the measure of
attachment style
324
• Feeney & Noller (1991) defined five
attachment-related issues:
– Openness
– Closeness
– Dependence
– Commitment
– Affection
325
• Feeney & Noller (1991) defined five
attachment-related issues:
– Openness
The key aspects of mental models of
– Closeness attachment
– Dependence
– Commitment
– Affection
326
Coding of attachment-related issues
Issue Content Categories Examples
Openness References to Seen as She’s very open
open expression desirable with me, which is
of thoughts,
feelings
good
Not mentioned
Closeness Attitudes to Limits He doesn’t want too
closeness, advocated much closeness, which
Unqualified is good
intimacy
desire for we’re about as close as
Not mentioned a couple can get
Dependence Attitudes to Limits She is too dependent;
dependence, advocated more clingy than I am
possessiveness, Unqualified If we spend more than
sharing of time
desire for a day apart, I go
and activities
haywire
327
Coding of attachment-related issues
(con.)
Issue Content Categories Examples
Commit Attitudes to Limits She pressures me for
ment commitment, advocated more commitment than
seriousness of Unqualified I want
relationship desire for I’m much more likely
than she is to get
Not mentioned heavily committed
Affection Attitudes to the Limits I wouldn’t want
expression of advocated someone who “loves
love and Unqualified you, loves you” all the
affection desire for time
All my life I’ve craved
Not mentioned this sort of affection
328
• Feeney & Noller (1991) Extracts from open-ended reports of
romantic relationships supplied by subjects from the three
attachment group:
• (1) Secure
– We’re really good friends, and we sort of knew each other
for a long time before we started going out—and we like the
same sort of things. Another thing which I like a lot is that he
gets on well with all my close friends. We can always talk
things over. Like if we’re having any fights, we usually resolve
them by talking it over—he’s very reasonable person. I can
just be my own person, so it’s good, because it’s not a
possessive relationship. I think that we trust each other a lot.
329
• Feeney & Noller (1991) Extracts from open-ended reports of
romantic relationships supplied by subjects from the three
attachment group:
• (2) Avoidant
– My partner is my best friend, and that’s the way I think of him.
He’s as special to me as any of my other friends. His
expectations in life don’t include marriage, or any long-term
commitment to any female, which is fine with me, because
that’s not what my expectations are as well. I find that he
doesn’t want to be overly intimate, and he doesn’t expect too
much commitment—which is good…We’re very close—it’s a
kind of a comfort, but sometimes it’s a worry—that a person
can be that close to you, and be in such control of your life.
330
• Feeney & Noller (1991) Extracts from open-ended reports
of romantic relationships supplied by subjects from the three
attachment group:
• (3) Anxious-ambivalent
– So I went in there… and he was sitting on the bench, and I
took one look, and I actually melted. He was the best-
looking thing I’d ever seen, and that was the first thing
that struck me about him. So we went out and we had
lunch in the park….so we just sort of sat there—and in
silence—but it wasn’t awkward…like, you know, when you
meet strangers and you can’t think of anything to say, it’s
usually awkward. We just sat there…
331
• Feeney & Noller (1991)
• Secure subjects emphasized relationship closeness but also
advocated a balance in terms of the extent to which
partners depend on each other, made relatively frequent
references to partners’ mutual support and
encouragement
• Avoidant subjects preferred clear limits to closeness,
dependence, commitment, and expression of affection
• Anxious-ambivalent referred unqualified closeness,
commitment, and affection in their relationships;
They tend to idealize their partners.
332
Love, Work, and the Secure Base
• Hazan & Shaver (1990): Hypotheses
• For adults, work is functionally similar to Bowlby’s
construct of exploration.
• Adult attachment styles should be linked with patterns of
work activity, just as infant attachment styles are linked
with patterns of exploratory behavior.
– Avoidant adults may work compulsively or use work to
avoid intimate relationships
– Anxious-ambivalent adults may tend to see work as an
opportunity to meet unmet attachment needs; this
tendency may interfere with work performance.
333
• Hazan & Shaver (1990): Results
• Subjects completed the three-group categorical
measure of attachment style, together with items
that tapped orientations toward work.
– Secure adults reported higher job satisfaction, thought
that they were good workers, were confident that they
were valued by coworkers, rarely worried about work
failure and did not allow work to interfere with their
close relationships or their health
334
– Avoidant adults reported similar satisfaction with job
security and advancement as secure adults. They
reported greater dissatisfaction with coworkers,
generally preferred to work alone. They also
emphasized the importance of work success (rather
than relationships), used work to avoid socializing, and
reported that work interfered with their health and
their relationships. It appears to reflect a compulsive
approach to activity as a way of avoiding close
relationships.
335
– Anxious-ambivalent adults reported relatively low job
satisfaction in terms of feelings of job insecurity, lack of
appreciation by coworkers, and dissatisfaction with
advancement. They worried about work performance
and, although preferring to work with others, thought
that others often intruded on their work. They also
stated that they were easily distracted at work, had
trouble completing projects, and tended to slacken off
after praise. They reported that concerns about love
relationships interfered with work and they earned a
lower average income than others.
336
Lecture 10: Measurement of
adult attachment
337
Adult attachment interview (AAI,
Main et al., 1985)
• The big question
– Do parents’ representation of their own attachment

experiences relate – presumably through their own
parenting behaviors – to the attachment classification of
their children in the next generation?
To answer such questions, attachment theory has moved to the level of

representation
338
In adulthood
• Internal working models impact attachment
behavior
– Mental representations of the availability of the
attachment figure and what to do when the
attachment system is activated
• Purpose of the Adult Attachment Interview is

to classify these internal working models.
339
Interview
• 18 questions with follow-up probes, semi-
structured, hour-long, transcribed verbatim
– 5 adjectives describing each parent with
supporting (or contradicting) memories
– what occurred when upset (when the attachment
system was activated)
– impact of those experience on current functioning
– current relationship with parents
340
Adult attachment interview
341
How Speakers are Categorized
• As Autonomous (secure), Dismissing
(avoidant), or Preoccupied (resistant)
– And, independently, as
Unresolved/Disorganized
• Not based on experiences themselves
• But on speaker’s current relationship to the
experiences
– how they’ve processed their past
• Based on the coherence of their discourse
342
Discourse coherence
• Adherence or violation of Grice’s maxims of

coherent discourse
– Quality: Have evidence for what you say.
– Quantity: Be succinct but complete.
– Relation: Be relevant.
– Manner: Be clear and orderly.
• Helps in categorizing speakers as autonomous,
dismissing, or preoccupied
– Disorganized can be categorized in one of 3 main
categories
343
Specifics of the Hypothesized Link
• Autonomous parents are sensitively responsive and
promote security
• Dismissive parents avoid acknowledging attachment
needs of infants
– who respond by minimizing attachment needs and
becoming avoidant
• Preoccupied parents do not respond to infant
attachment needs predictably
– infants respond by chronic attempts to achieve security
344
Correspondence
Adult state of mind Infant SS behavior
• Autonomous • Secure -
– Coherent narrative – Soothed by parent
• Dismissing • Avoidant
– Generalized normalizing – Does not make contact
without specific examples with parent or express
attachment needs
• Preoccupied
– Long, entangled narratives
• Resistant
– Not comforted by parent
• Unresolved
– Lapses in reasoning
• Disorganized
– No coherent strategy
345
“ 陌生情景法”和“成人依恋面谈法”的对应关系
陌生情景法 (Strange Situation Procedure ， SSP) 成人依恋面谈法 (Adult Attachment Interview ， AAI)
类型特征类型特征
安全型 (B 在还没有分离的情景里，她们对实验室的布置和玩具安全 / 自主型连贯的，合作的讨论。认为依恋是有价值
型) 饶有兴趣地进行探索。在分离阶段，表现出想念母亲 (F) 的，对特定的事件 / 关系有较为客观的评
的样子，在第二次分离阶段通常会哭泣。对母亲而不价。对与依恋有关的经历的描述和评价具
是陌生人表现出明显的偏爱。主动跟母亲打招呼，通有连贯性，不管这些经历是有利的，还是不
常会引出身体接触。通常在第二个重聚阶段维持一段利的。
时间的接触后，会很快平静下来，并重新开始他的探索
活动 ( 玩玩具 ) 。
回避型在与母亲分离时不哭。在与母亲重聚时主动拒型绝型叙述没有连贯性。不考虑与依恋有
(A 型 ) 回避，或者无视母亲的存在 ( 如，移向别处，把 (Ds) 关的经历和关系。标准化 ( 如“非常
脸扭到一边 ) ，或者在被抱起来的时候把胳膊好，很一般的母亲” ) ，对那些没有受
伸到外面。很少，或者没有寻求亲近和接触，不到支持的经历进行概括化的表征，或
会感到悲伤，也不生气。对母亲的反应没有情者对重新提到的情节作出相矛盾的
绪性的回报。在整个“新奇场面”的过程中，都解释。对面谈记录的分析也表明她
只关注于玩具和环境。们的记录通常非常简短。
抗拒 / 矛在还没有分离的时候就表现出担心或紧张，很少探索倾注全力型 ( 叙述没有连贯性。对过去的依恋关系 / 经
盾型 (C 行为。在整个过程中对母亲全神贯注；显示出生气或 E型) 历表现出过分地关注。在谈论这些经历和
型) 消极被动。即使在与母亲重聚时，得到母亲的安慰后关系的时候，表现出非常生气，消极，或者害
也不能平静下来，通常不停地察看母亲是否在身边，并怕。她们所用的句子较长，语法混乱，或者
经常哭泣。在重聚后也不能重新开始他的探索活动。充斥着一些模糊的用语。她们的面谈记录
的分析表明他们的纪录非常冗长。
未组织这类婴儿在母亲在场时表现出未组织和 / 或未确定的未解决型 / 未在讨论关于丧亲和虐待时，突然终止对原
型 / 无所行为，显示出一种行为策略的临时失用。例如，婴儿会组织型 (U 释个，
因的解或者叙述。例如简短体可能短
适从型 (D 表现出短暂的发呆，可能跳到门口盼望母亲，然后又卧型) 地以一种儿童似的思维方式表明他能感觉
型) 在地板上缩成一团；或者一边哭泣，一边用力地抓，或者到死去的人还活着，这个人是被谋杀的。
想从障碍物中探身出去。这类婴儿有时也被认为符合个体可能会陷于长时间的沉默，或者做出
A 型， B 型，或者 C 型范畴。颂扬的演说。这种类型的人也常常被认为
346
符合 Ds 型， E 型，或者 F 型。
Romantic Love is an attachment process
• “Attachment behavior [characterizes]
human beings from the cradle to the grave”
(Bowlby, 1979)
• Conceptualize romantic love experiences in
a way that parallels the typology developed
by Ainsworth et al. (1978).
• Newspaper survey: “Love Quiz”.
» Hazan & Shaver (1987). Romantic Love conceptualized as
an Attachment Process. Journal of Personality and Social
Psychology. Vol.52, No.3, 511-524.
347
Adult attachment scale (Hazan & Shaver, 1987)
348
Bartholomew’s 4-category model
Model of Self
Positive Negative
Positive
Secure Preoccupied
Model of Other
Dismissing Fearful
Negative
349
Attachment style distribution in
BFSU course sample
350
Attachment style distribution in
PKU course sample
351
Attachment style and Mental health
Source: Li Tonggui et al. (2008)

352
Relationship Questionnaire (RQ) items
353
Relationship Scales Questionnaire (RSQ)
354
Brennan’s 2-dimensional model
355
Brennan et al. (1998) ECR: A “Standard”
measurement for adult attachment
• Collected 14 extant scales for adult

attachment
• 60 subscales, 323 items
• Large sample (1086 undergraduates)
• Results:
– 36-item scale, 18 items for anxiety and 18
items for avoidance
356
357
Chinese adaptation of ECR (1)
Table 1: Resu lt s of Avoida nce ba sed on IRT a na lysis (n = 231)
It em s
F act or 1: Avoidance (α=.82) αF 2 B1 B2 B3 B4 B5 B6
07. 当恋人希望跟我非常亲近时，我会觉得不自在. 4.27 -0.63 0.12 0.44 0.73 1.09 1.40
05. 当恋人开始要跟我亲近时，我发现我自己在退缩. 3.04 -0.88 -0.02 0.45 0.71 1.07 1.62
23. 我倾向于不跟恋人过分亲密. 2.47 -1.48 -0.45 0.10 0.47 1.04 1.63
17. 我想方设法避免与恋人过分亲密. 2.46 -0.65 0.10 0.61 1.00 1.62 2.19
13. 当恋人跟我过分亲密的时候，我会感到内心紧张. 2.32 -0.96 -0.21 0.07 0.48 1.05 1.74
11. 我想与恋人亲近，但我又总是会退缩. 1.68 -1.30 -0.30 0.23 0.62 1.12 1.92
03. 我觉得跟恋人亲近是一件惬意的事情. (R ) 1.54 -0.64 0.49 1.26 2.00 2.80 3.87
01. 总的来说，我不喜欢让恋人知道自己内心深处的感觉. 1.06 -1.51 -0.07 0.62 0.92 1.72 3.26
25. 我跟恋人什么事情都讲. (R) 0.93 -2.70 -1.17 -0.24 0.40 1.19 2.45
09. 我觉得对恋人开诚布公，不是一件很舒服的事情. 0.92 -1.25 0.09 0.82 1.26 1.89 3.78
27. 我经常与恋人讨论我所遇到的问题以及我关心的事情. (R) 0.84 -1.85 0.12 1.38 2.23 3.39 5.30
29. 我觉得依赖恋人很自在. (R) 0.73 -3.19 -1.52 -0.30 0.28 1.28 3.11
21. 我发现让我依赖恋人，是一件困难的事情. 0.63 -3.88 -1.48 0.01 0.85 1.72 4.00
33. 在需要的时候，我向恋人求助，会觉得心里踏实. (R ) 0.48 -2.59 -0.14 2.61 4.22 5.71 6.67
15.我愿意把我内心的想法和感觉告诉恋人,我觉得这是一件惬意的事情.(R) 0.31 -8.62 -6.06 -4.16 -2.58 -0.21 3.43
31. 我并不在意从恋人那里寻找安慰，听取劝告，得到帮助. (R) 0.31 -7.53 -4.51 -2.76 -2.01 0.56 4.66
35. 我会在很多事情上向恋人求助，包括寻求安慰和得到承诺. (R ) a ) 0.30 -6.51 -2.75 -0.10 2.01 4.08 6.87
19. 我觉得我比较容易与恋人亲近. (R) 0.23 -14.28 -11.04 -6.38 -3.53 0.74 6.65
358
Tab. 2. Results of Anxiety based on IRT analysis (n = 231)
It em s
F a ct or 1: Avoida nce (α=.82) αF 2 B1 B2 B3 B4 B5 B6
08. 我有点担心会失去恋人. 1.99 -1.57 -0.78 -0.38 0.12 0.99 1.83
22. 我并不是常常担心被恋人抛弃. (R) 1.86 -1.25 -0.19 0.45 0.97 1.59 2.94
02. 我担心我会被抛弃. 1.76 -1.21 -0.22 0.24 0.74 1.54 2.21
06. 我担心恋人不会象我关心他（/她）那样地关心我. 1.17 -1.81 -0.65 -0.03 0.58 1.66 2.93
12. 我常常想与恋人的关系能够融合成像一个人似的，但有时 1.02 -1.61 -0.29 0.77 1.65 2.97 4.40
14. 我担心一个人独处.
这样会把恋人吓跑. 0.88 -1.69 -0.19 0.48 1.12 2.03 3.45
04. 我很担心我的人际关系. 0.85 -2.23 -0.73 0.15 1.03 2.31 4.30
16. 我想跟恋人非常亲密的愿望，有时会把恋人吓跑. 0.83 -1.19 0.46 1.52 2.71 3.84 9.96
28. 如果我还没有恋人的话，我会感到有点焦虑和不安. 0.82 -1.67 -0.68 0.11 1.26 2.03 3.76
20. 我觉得自己在要求恋人把更多的感觉，以及对恋爱关系的 0.74 -2.51 -0.29 0.79 1.50 3.22 4.82
26. 我发现恋人并不愿意象我所想的那样跟我亲近.事情. (R)

投入程度表现出来. 0.74 -2.51 -0.29 0.79 1.50 3.22 4.82
24. 如果我不能让恋人对我感兴趣，我会感到心烦意乱，或者 0.71 -4.49 -2.24 -1.44 -0.57 1.22 3.86
10. 我常常希望恋人对我的感情和我对恋人的感情一样强烈.
会因此而生气. 0.65 -7.53 -4.41 -3.02 -2.04 -0.89 0.99
36. 如果恋人老是撇下我，去消磨时光，我会感到怨恨. 0.61 -5.16 -3.10 -1.85 -0.78 1.16 3.12
34. 当恋人不认可我时，我觉得确实是我不好. 0.47 -5.74 -2.23 -0.37 1.68 3.22 5.87
30. 如果恋人不能象我所希望的那样在我身边时，我会感到灰 0.45 -6.79 -3.44 -1.70 -0.36 2.04 5.78
32.
心丧气如果在我需要的时候，恋人却不在我身边，我会感到沮丧. 0.39 -9.10 -5.40 -4.17 -2.87 -0.01 2.91
359
18. 对我来说，让恋人不断地说爱着我，是很必要的. 0.18 -2.38 -0.61 0.50 1.38 2.23 3.53
Tab 3: Me ans (SD) of two ECR factors for fo ur c ategor y adult attachment styles
me asured by RQ
S e cu r e D ism i s sin g P r e occu p i e d F e a r fu l F
(n = 1 0 9 ) (n = 3 6 ) (n = 5 0 ) (n = 2 4 )
An x i e t y
M 3 .8 7 a 3 .8 8 a 4 .6 3 b 4 .4 0 b F (3 ,2 1 5 )= 1 0 .3 9 * *
SD .8 5 .8 6 .9 1 .8 5
Av oi d a n ce
M 2 .6 9 a 3 .6 2 c 3 .1 5 b 3 .9 0 c F (3 , 2 1 5 )= 1 8 .6 2 * *
SD .9 2 .9 3 .7 5 .9 6
Tab 4 . Corre latio ns amo ng ECR and self -vie w and other-view me asures
E C R (B r e n n a n e t a l. , 1 9 9 8 )
Mea su r e S u b sca le An x i e t y Av oi d a n ce
S e l f-v i e w m e a s u r e s
S e l f-e s t e e m s c a l e (R os e n b e r g , 1 9 6 5 ) -.2 2 ** -.0 8
R Q (B a r t h ol om e w & H or ow i t z , 1 9 9 1 ): M od e l of s e l f -.4 4 ** -.1 8
O t h e r -v i e w m e a s u r e
O t h e r -v i e w s ca l e (K a t o, 1 9 9 9 ): O t h e r i s s u p p or t -.0 7 -.1 4 **
R Q (B a r t h ol om e w & H or ow i t z , 1 9 9 1 ): M od e l of ot h e r .1 9 -.5 8 **
360
Chinese adaptation of ECR (4): Criterion-related validity
361
Attachment to multiple figures:
Collins & Read (1994), Covers et al. (2003)
General models of Attachment
Model of parent-child Model of peer

relationship relationship
Mother Father Romantic

Friendships
partner
Mary Bob John
362
Further research topics
• Intergenerational • Group attachment: A
transmission new direction
363
Intergenerational transmission
不同国家婴儿依恋类型和成人依恋类型的比较
婴儿依恋(用 SSP 测量) 成人依恋(用 RQ 测量)
安回矛紊安轻倾敬
国家
作全避盾乱国家 (样本全视注畏
(样本作者
者型型型型数) 型型型型
数)
% % % % % % % %
中国
胡，孟 53 14 23 10 中国(219) 李，加藤 50 16 23 11
(64)
日本
Durrett 61 13 18 8 日本(224) 中尾，加藤 32 7 39 22
(39)
美国美国
Fraley 60 13 8 19 Brennan 等 46 15 16 23
(1139) (1082)
364
Group attachment: A new direction
General models of Attachment
Model of parent-child Model of peer Model of group relationship

relationship relationship
…… …… Self-as-group-member Group models
Role in a group Types of group
Player Leader Company University

365
Group attachment
• Group attachment anxiety: A sense of being
unworthy as a group member and worries
regarding acceptance by a group.
• Group attachment avoidance: appraisal of

closeness to groups as unnecessary and the
tendency to avoid dependence on groups.
(Smith, E.R. et al., 1999)

366
Group attachment
• Fulfill three criteria of attachment
– Proximity maintenance
• People have a clear pattern of preference for their
own groups, seek the proximity of other group
members in times of need.
– Safe haven
• Group as a whole can be a source of support,
comfort, and relief mainly during demanding or
threatening situations.
– Secure base
• Group activities can facilitate exploration and
learning of social, emotion, and cognitive skills.
367
Course Conclusion
• The role of theory
– Guidance
• Practice: more important
368
Regrets of action vs. inaction: Immediate
• Regrets of action more regrettable than regrets of inaction in the
short term:
• Mr. Paul owns shares in company A. During the past year he considered
switching to stock in company B, but he decided against it. He now finds out
that he would have been better off by $1200 if he had switched to the stock of
company B. Mr. George owned shares in company B. During the past year he
switched to stock in company A. He now finds that he would have been better
off by $1200 if he had kept his stock in company B. Who feels greater regret?
(Kahneman & Tversky, 1982)
• (Kahneman & Tversky, 1982)
92% say Mr. George (regret of action)

Regrets of action vs. inaction: Long
termSome common lifetime regrets...
• “I wish I had been more serious in college.”
• “I should have told my father I loved him
before he died.”
• “I regret that I never learned another
language.”
• “If only I’d gotten up the courage to tell
him/her my true feelings...”
Regrets of action vs. inaction:
Long term (Gilovich & Medvec, 1995)
• Telephone survey 1 (n = 60): “when you look back on your life

and think of things you regret, what would you say you regret
more, those things that you did but wish you hadn’t, or those
things that you didn’t do but wish you had?” 75% regretted
inactions more
• Telephone survey 2 (n = 30): “Think of your greatest regret of
action and your greatest regret of inaction. Which one do you
regret more?” 70% regretted inaction more
• Lab Study (n = 77): “When you look back on your life to this
point, what are your biggest regrets?” regrettable inactions
outnumbered actions by 2:1
Explaining the temporal pattern of regret
(Gilovich & Medvec, 1995)
Factors that promote AVAILABILITY of regrettable

inactions more than that of regrettable actions
• Zeigarnik effect:
• People tend to
remember incomplete
tasks and unrealized
goals better than those
that have been
finished, accomplished,
or resolved.
Course Advice
Find your secure base,

Find your love,
with your passion

《爱的心理学》PPT (无背景版供打印) 2016

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北京大学心理学系 李同帰 Psychology

客观性 (objectivity) ：立场中立，实事求是

描述 (description) ：表述问题的表面事实 ,

 The rest of the class can act as a bee or a

deal with the time wasters

Theories of LOVE: Evolutional

• Invented the “Love scale” and the “liking

• According to his definition, Love consists of

• Each scale comprises 13 items and is internally

• Hatfield & Walster (1978) proposed another

激情式爱情 (passionate love)

Lee’s Love style

170 Phrases Multiple possible

I met X ….. I dreamed about X

Companionate love matches storge most closely,

Ludus is both anti-passion and anti-friendship.

Art Love of partner for physical attractiveness;

Gardening Relationships need to be continually

House and Relationships have their core in the home,

Mystery Love is a mystery, and you shouldn’t let too

Science Love can be understood, analyzed, and

Sewing Love is whatever you make it

Travel Love is a journey

Student-Teacher Love is a relationship between a student

– The extent to which people are comfortable being

– Their willingness to invest emotionally in a

Humor Love is a strange and funny

Classes of objects with similar meaning

e.g., Concrete categories like hammer

e.g., Attributes of professional

e.g., Causal schema for making

e.g., The sequence of behaviors that

e.g., Visual imagery of and

e.g., The self, including all its

Won’t pay rent until house painted

Well dressed Competitive intelligent

When love really works it seems

Anybody who has been in love knows

Early ideas about relationships:

Freud discoverer of the unconscious mind and

Early ideas about relationships:

The roots of love are in infancy.

Early ideas about relationships:

Modern understanding applied to Freud’s

• When separate from the primary caregiver,

 Protest Despair Dettachment

• came from psychoanalytic

Infant’s relationship with the mother emerges

• Bowlby: humans might be biologically predisposed to

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• Attachment patterns and representational

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Securely attached baby:

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北京大学心理学系　李同帰　 Psychology

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