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Ego States
Berne believed that when we interact with other people, our state of mind affects what happens He believed that there were three states of mind in all humans, no matter how old they were, called ego states.
Look at the sentences below and match the ego state to the sentence.
1. Its not my fault my drink got spilt on your new carpet 2. I wonder what might have caused that accident 3. For goodness sake, clean up that mess. 4. Shall we clean up the mess together with a wet cloth? 5. I refuse to get involved in this incident.
CHILD ADULT
PARENT
Transactions
Berne said that when people are in their different ego states and they interact with other people, four main types of transaction (or interaction) can happen. To make it easy to analyse what is happening, Berne developed a little diagram like this, to represent a person with their three ego states Parent, Adult and Child.
P
Interacts with Person B on right
P
A C
Types of Transaction
Complementary Transactions
P
A C
MANAGER
Youre three hours late, I want an explanation.
P
A C
EMPLOYEE
Im really sorry, I slept through the alarm, it wont happen again, I promise.
This is a complementary transaction because the employee accepts the child ego state assigned to him by the manager and responds in child ego state.
P A
C
P A
C
Crossed Transaction
P
A C
MANAGER
Youre three hours late, I want an explanation.
P
A C
EMPLOYEE
Oh, didnt you get held up by that crash on the motorway as well?
This is a crossed transaction because although the manager, parent ego state, attempted to address the employee as a child, the employee refuses this ego state and responds in adult ego state to the managers ego state.
A crossed transaction is any transaction where the person being spoken to refuses the ego state they are assigned by the first speaker.
P A
P A
Angular Transaction
P
A C
SALES PERSON
Thats the latest iPod and theres 50% off at the moment, if you are interested
P A
C
CUSTOMER
Wow, thats amazing Ill take one!
This is an Angular Transaction because the sales person is talking on more than one level, appearing to address the customers Adult ego state but trying to hook the customers Child ego state, because the Child is impulsive and may be seduced by the 50% off the iPod and buy it! This is what happens, and the customer answers in Child ego state and buys the iPod!
P A
C
P A
C
Duplex Transaction
P
Social Level
P A
Psychological Level
A
C
ATTRACTIVE BOY Do you come here often? Whoar, youre
gorgeous
C
ATTRACTIVE GIRL No, not really, do you?
This is a Duplex Transaction because the whole interaction is working on two levels. Both people are pretending to address Adult ego state and be in Adult ego state but they are both in Child ego state and want to address Child ego state but cant because of social norms and manners.
P A
C
P A
Watch this short video clip about how transactional analysis is used in a primary school.
Life Positions
Berne believed that a lot of people get stuck in one ego state more than the other two and that this may be due to early childhood experiences. His theory was that in childhood we have a life position assigned to us, because of the experiences we have from birth onwards. He thinks there are four possible life positions Im not OK, Youre OK Im not OK, Youre not OK Im OK, Youre not OK Im OK, Youre OK
The reason you are not OK when you are born is because you are dependent on others for all your needs. They are OK, because they have the ability to satisfy their own needs and your needs.
It is a bit like being an optimistic person or a pessimistic person. How you approach life and encounters with other people, affect how these encounters progress.
Games
Berne felt that people in the life position Im not OK, Youre OK or Im not OK, Youre not OK were people with low self esteem. He felt that these people find it hard to interact with people in a straightforward way so they play games. His definition of game was sets of ulterior transactions, repetitive in nature, with a well defined psychological pay off. In other words, an interaction with a hidden motive where one of the participants is gaining something underhand from the encounter.
Games can be recognised by set verbal phrases which tend to be repeated in the conversation. Here are some of the games Berne spotted: Why dont you?, Yes but.. Ive got you, you son of a bitch Frigid woman Kick me
How can a persons role or roles influence their self concept? How and why do individuals present different aspects of the self when communicating with others?